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Nymtoc
11-26-2012, 09:31 AM
A very old man loved to knit
Each night by the fire he'd sit
He'd knit and he'd purl

annetpfeffer
11-26-2012, 10:20 AM
A very old man loved to knit
Each night by the fire he'd sit
He'd knit and he'd purl
He was really a girl

flyingtart
11-26-2012, 01:05 PM
A very old man loved to knit
Each night by the fire he'd sit
He'd knit and he'd purl
He was really a girl
But she should shave her beard, stupid git


Madonna, the singer, once said

Sir_Nigel
11-26-2012, 01:27 PM
Madonna, the singer, once said
as she viewed the remains of her bed

woozy
11-26-2012, 02:49 PM
Madonna, the singer, once said
as she viewed the remains of her bed
"My life as a pop star

annetpfeffer
11-26-2012, 08:08 PM
Madonna, the singer, once said
as she viewed the remains of her bed
"My life as a pop star--
I now am the top star

strictlytopsecret
11-26-2012, 08:19 PM
Madonna, the singer, once said
as she viewed the remains of her bed
"My life as a pop star--
I now am the top star
My bed proves I'm a thoroughbred

A woman was hungry for lunch

iLion
11-26-2012, 08:56 PM
A woman was hungry for lunch
But needed more money to munch

Pthom
11-26-2012, 09:25 PM
A woman was hungry for lunch
But needed more money to munch
She found a street corner

iLion
11-26-2012, 09:39 PM
A woman was hungry for lunch
But needed more money to munch
She found a street corner
And treated Jack Horner

flyingtart
11-26-2012, 09:40 PM
A woman was hungry for lunch
But needed more money to munch
She found a street corner
And treated Jack Horner
To a twenty five buck credit crunch


Don't touch it till you've washed your hands

iLion
11-26-2012, 09:55 PM
Don't touch it till you've washed your hands
And rinsed off the scratchy beach sands

StephanieFox
11-26-2012, 10:04 PM
Don't touch it till you've washed your hands
And rinsed off the scratchy beach sands
And all that squid ink

archerjoe
11-26-2012, 10:58 PM
Don't touch it till you've washed your hands
And rinsed off the scratchy beach sands
And all that squid ink
Has ruined my new sink

annetpfeffer
11-27-2012, 05:09 AM
Don't touch it till you've washed your hands
And rinsed off the scratchy beach sands
And all that squid ink
Has ruined my new sink
And everywhere else that it lands.



A mysterious woman in blue

alexaherself
11-27-2012, 05:51 AM
A mysterious woman in blue
Wore stilettos the very same hue

archerjoe
11-27-2012, 07:17 AM
A mysterious woman in blue
Wore stilettos the very same hue
She had my attention

Nymtoc
11-27-2012, 08:20 AM
A mysterious woman in blue
Wore stilettos the very same hue
She had my attention
Her stockings were gentian

annetpfeffer
11-27-2012, 08:49 AM
A mysterious woman in blue
Wore stilettos the very same hue
She had my attention
Her stockings were gentian
Her thong was... I haven't a clue.


She twirled on the aerial trapeze

Sir_Nigel
11-27-2012, 12:42 PM
She twirled on the aerial trapeze
and seemed rather eager to please

flyingtart
11-27-2012, 01:55 PM
She twirled on the aerial trapeze
and seemed rather eager to please
But when she came down

Nymtoc
11-27-2012, 06:00 PM
She twirled on the aerial trapeze
and seemed rather eager to please
But when she came down
She knocked out a clown

Lavern08
11-27-2012, 06:19 PM
She twirled on the aerial trapeze
and seemed rather eager to please
But when she came down
She knocked out a clown
Who fell and broke both of his knees

This Christmas I'll try something new

flyingtart
11-27-2012, 06:20 PM
This Christmas I'll try something new
A romantic dinner for two

Sir_Nigel
11-27-2012, 06:37 PM
This Christmas I'll try something new
A romantic dinner for two
of kippers and Spam

strictlytopsecret
11-27-2012, 09:02 PM
This Christmas I'll try something new
A romantic dinner for two
of kippers and Spam
with strawberry jam

iLion
11-27-2012, 09:34 PM
This Christmas I'll try something new
A romantic dinner for two
of kippers and Spam
with strawberry jam
Served in a stinky old shoe.


I wonder if she will come back

woozy
11-27-2012, 09:37 PM
I wonder if she will come back
She married a tired old hack

iLion
11-27-2012, 09:40 PM
I wonder if she will come back
She married a tired old hack
Then ran away quick

Nymtoc
11-27-2012, 09:55 PM
I wonder if she will come back
She married a tired old hack
Then ran away quick
And lived with a hick

iLion
11-27-2012, 10:08 PM
I wonder if she will come back
She married a tired old hack
Then ran away quick
And lived with a hick
on a hill in a tired old shack.

They run around naked I heard

archerjoe
11-27-2012, 10:09 PM
They run around naked I heard
In birthday suits like a jay bird

flyingtart
11-27-2012, 10:34 PM
They run around naked I heard
In birthday suits like a jay bird
If neighbours complain

iLion
11-27-2012, 10:51 PM
They run around naked I heard
In birthday suits like a jay bird
If neighbours complain
They moon them, the twain;

annetpfeffer
11-27-2012, 11:11 PM
They run around naked I heard
In birthday suits like a jay bird
If neighbours complain
They moon them, the twain;
It's totally true, though absurd.



I'm shopping for presents today

Lavern08
11-27-2012, 11:35 PM
I'm shopping for presents today
And then I will load up my sleigh

strictlytopsecret
11-28-2012, 12:30 AM
I'm shopping for presents today
And then I will load up my sleigh
Some call it a "van"

annetpfeffer
11-28-2012, 01:50 AM
I'm shopping for presents today
And then I will load up my sleigh
Some call it a "van"
Though nobody can

strictlytopsecret
11-28-2012, 03:23 AM
I'm shopping for presents today
And then I will load up my sleigh
Some call it a "van"
Though nobody can
Don the Santa motif every day.

I'm feeling under the weather

annetpfeffer
11-28-2012, 07:08 AM
I'm feeling under the weather
and simply can't get it together

Sir_Nigel
11-28-2012, 12:31 PM
I'm feeling quite under the weather
and simply can't get it together
My tongue is bright yellow

Nymtoc
11-28-2012, 01:48 PM
I'm feeling quite under the weather
and simply can't get it together
My tongue is bright yellow
As if some foul fellow

flyingtart
11-28-2012, 02:08 PM
I'm feeling quite under the weather
and simply can't get it together
My tongue is bright yellow
As if some foul fellow
Had scrubbed it with mustard seed heather


The doctor is really no use

annetpfeffer
11-28-2012, 08:28 PM
The doctor is really no use
I think all his marbles are loose

iLion
11-28-2012, 10:36 PM
The doctor is really no use
I think all his marbles are loose
He tells me to strip

archerjoe
11-28-2012, 10:49 PM
The doctor is really no use
I think all his marbles are loose
He tells me to strip
Then pulls out a whip

annetpfeffer
11-28-2012, 11:15 PM
The doctor is really no use
I think all his marbles are loose
He tells me to strip
Then pulls out a whip
and wallops me on the caboose.



I yelled as I leaped from the plane

flyingtart
11-28-2012, 11:37 PM
I yelled as I leaped from the plane
But I will not do that again

Melina
11-29-2012, 12:43 AM
I yelled as I leaped from the plane
But I will not do that again
Because as I was falling

annetpfeffer
11-29-2012, 03:11 AM
I yelled as I leaped from the plane
But I will not do that again
Because as I was falling
St. Peter was calling

archerjoe
11-29-2012, 03:53 AM
I yelled as I leaped from the plane
But I will not do that again
Because as I was falling
St. Peter was calling
"Do not take the Lord's name in vain!"

archerjoe
11-29-2012, 03:54 AM
My sister's an elf at the mall

Pthom
11-29-2012, 04:24 AM
My sister's an elf at the mall.
No, really, she isn't that tall.

strictlytopsecret
11-29-2012, 07:51 AM
My sister's an elf at the mall.
No, really, she isn't that tall.
The kids used to tease her

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2012, 12:27 PM
My sister's an elf at the mall.
No, really, she isn't that tall.
The kids used to tease her
and the fat beardy geezer

flyingtart
11-29-2012, 01:42 PM
My sister's an elf at the mall.
No, really, she isn't that tall.
The kids used to tease her
and the fat beardy geezer
Gave her to some kid as a doll


Right, which of you broke my best pen?

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2012, 02:40 PM
Right, which of you broke my best pen?
Which I bought in Japan for 2 Yen.

strictlytopsecret
11-29-2012, 04:12 PM
Right, which of you broke my best pen?
Which I bought in Japan for 2 Yen.
It's a fine good luck charm

Nymtoc
11-29-2012, 04:28 PM
Right, which of you broke my best pen?
Which I bought in Japan for 2 Yen.
It's a fine good luck charm
And if you've done it harm

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2012, 05:18 PM
Right, which of you broke my best pen?
Which I bought in Japan for 2 Yen.
It's a fine good luck charm
And if you've done it harm
you’ll never eat solids again.


She fell down the hole with a shriek

flyingtart
11-29-2012, 06:02 PM
She fell down the hole with a shriek
And it seemed that her prospects were bleak

annetpfeffer
11-29-2012, 07:58 PM
She fell down the hole with a shriek
And it seemed that her prospects were bleak
Trapped deep in the earth

Pthom
11-29-2012, 10:16 PM
She fell down the hole with a shriek
And it seemed that her prospects were bleak
Trapped deep in the earth
A long way from Perth

iLion
11-29-2012, 10:26 PM
She fell down the hole with a shriek
And it seemed that her prospects were bleak
Trapped deep in the earth
A long way from Perth
She peed, 'cuz her bladder was weak.

Now dirty and stinky was she

woozy
11-29-2012, 10:56 PM
Now dirty and stinky was she
What's more she had broken her knee

flyingtart
11-29-2012, 11:00 PM
Now dirty and stinky was she
What's more she had broken her knee
So she said with a sigh

Nymtoc
11-30-2012, 12:29 AM
Now dirty and stinky was she
What's more she had broken her knee
So she said with a sigh,
"What a loser am I"

flyingtart
11-30-2012, 01:05 AM
Now dirty and stinky was she
What's more she had broken her knee
So she said with a sigh,
"What a loser am I"
How pathetic can anyone be?


Lucinda was fashion-obsessed

annetpfeffer
11-30-2012, 01:17 AM
Lucinda was fashion-obsessed
She never would give it a rest

strictlytopsecret
11-30-2012, 01:24 AM
Lucinda was fashion-obsessed
She never would give it a rest
She's now gone too far

Pthom
11-30-2012, 05:02 AM
Lucinda was fashion-obsessed
She never would give it a rest
She's now gone too far
And lowered the bar

flyingtart
11-30-2012, 11:26 AM
Lucinda was fashion-obsessed
She never would give it a rest
She's now gone too far
And lowered the bar
Let's hope she packs up and goes West!


There's nothing I love more than cash

Pthom
11-30-2012, 11:35 AM
There's nothing I love more than cash
Except that it gives me a rash!

Sir_Nigel
11-30-2012, 01:41 PM
There's nothing I love more than cash
Except that it gives me a rash!
All over me - look!

flyingtart
11-30-2012, 04:17 PM
There's nothing I love more than cash
Except that it gives me a rash!
All over me - look!
Right into each nook

Sir_Nigel
11-30-2012, 05:00 PM
There's nothing I love more than cash
Except that it gives me a rash!
All over me - look!
Right into each nook
And I charge twenty dollars a flash.


They said that it couldn’t be done

Nymtoc
11-30-2012, 05:48 PM
They said that it couldn’t be done
But Daphne said, "I'll be the one!"

archerjoe
11-30-2012, 06:04 PM
They said that it couldn’t be done
But Daphne said, "I'll be the one!"
"Please don't arrest me"

annetpfeffer
11-30-2012, 06:06 PM
They said that it couldn’t be done
But Daphne said, "I'll be the one!"
She climbed the tall ladder

annetpfeffer
11-30-2012, 06:10 PM
My bad (see above)

They said that it couldn’t be done
But Daphne said, "I'll be the one!"
"Please don't arrest me"
They badgered and pressed me

iLion
11-30-2012, 09:34 PM
They said that it couldn’t be done
But Daphne said, "I'll be the one!"
"Please don't arrest me"
They badgered and pressed me
To sit on the scanner for fun."

Does my butt look all that big in this dress?

Pthom
12-01-2012, 12:09 AM
Does my butt look all that big in this dress? too many syllables.
Is it something I should reassess?

annetpfeffer
12-01-2012, 01:28 AM
Does my butt look that big in this dress?
Is it something I should reassess?
Perhaps a stairmaster

strictlytopsecret
12-01-2012, 04:05 AM
Does my butt look that big in this dress?
Is it something I should reassess?
Perhaps a stairmaster
Would decrease it faster

flyingtart
12-01-2012, 11:44 AM
Does my butt look that big in this dress?
Is it something I should reassess?
Perhaps a stairmaster
Would decrease it faster
But really, I couldn't care less


It was a remarkable stunt

Nymtoc
12-01-2012, 12:24 PM
It was a remarkable stunt
Especially when seen from the front

flyingtart
12-01-2012, 04:51 PM
It was a remarkable stunt
Especially when seen from the front
She stood on her head

annetpfeffer
12-01-2012, 08:45 PM
It was a remarkable stunt
Especially when seen from the front
She stood on her head
And dramatically said

Nymtoc
12-01-2012, 09:36 PM
It was a remarkable stunt
Especially when seen from the front
She stood on her head
And dramatically said,
"Your Majesty, may I be blunt?"

Her dresses were all tangerine.

flyingtart
12-01-2012, 10:52 PM
Her dresses were all tangerine
And some of them nearly obscene

strictlytopsecret
12-02-2012, 12:51 AM
Her dresses were all tangerine
And some of them nearly obscene
All handmade from fruit

archerjoe
12-02-2012, 03:27 AM
Her dresses were all tangerine
And some of them nearly obscene
All handmade from fruit
The coverage minute

annetpfeffer
12-02-2012, 09:33 PM
Her dresses were all tangerine
And some of them nearly obscene
All handmade from fruit
The coverage minute
Arousing an interest so keen.



And yet I would do it again

flyingtart
12-02-2012, 10:40 PM
And yet I would do it again
But not with so many big men

annetpfeffer
12-03-2012, 12:52 AM
And yet I would do it again
But not with so many big men
I'd keep the trapeze

archerjoe
12-03-2012, 02:16 AM
And yet I would do it again
But not with so many big men
I'd keep the trapeze
But with my bad knees

Nymtoc
12-03-2012, 02:38 AM
And yet I would do it again
But not with so many big men
I'd keep the trapeze
But with my bad knees
I'd fall on my butt now and then.

He lived in a tumble-down shack

annetpfeffer
12-03-2012, 07:34 AM
He lived in a tumble-down shack
Just right for a wannabe hack

flyingtart
12-03-2012, 11:55 AM
He lived in a tumble-down shack
Just right for a wannabe hack
And penned his great prose

strictlytopsecret
12-03-2012, 05:47 PM
He lived in a tumble-down shack
Just right for a wannabe hack
And penned his great prose
'Bout a Beast and a rose

annetpfeffer
12-03-2012, 09:22 PM
He lived in a tumble-down shack
Just right for a wannabe hack
And penned his great prose
'Bout a Beast and a rose,
But it never was published -- alack!


The creature arose from the deep

iLion
12-03-2012, 09:38 PM
The creature arose from the deep
And all it could say was beep beep

kellysaid
12-03-2012, 10:19 PM
The creature arose from the deep
And all it could say was beep beep
It walked up to me

iLion
12-03-2012, 10:31 PM
The creature arose from the deep
And all it could say was beep beep
It walked up to me
And kissed my sore knee

flyingtart
12-04-2012, 12:52 AM
The creature arose from the deep
And all it could say was beep beep
It walked up to me
And kissed my sore knee
Then tenderly rocked me to sleep


While filleting penguins last night

annetpfeffer
12-04-2012, 02:04 AM
While filleting penguins last night
I had an incredible fright

Matera the Mad
12-04-2012, 09:03 AM
While filleting penguins last night
I had an incredible fright
A starved polar bear

annetpfeffer
12-04-2012, 09:55 AM
While filleting penguins last night
I had an incredible fright
A starved polar bear
Said "Hey, you, over there!"

Pthom
12-04-2012, 12:22 PM
While filleting penguins last night
I had an incredible fright
A starved polar bear
Said "Hey, you, over there!
"You're not cutting that bird up quite right."

He showed me his santoku skills

flyingtart
12-04-2012, 01:22 PM
He showed me his santoku skills
His dexterity gave me the chills

Nymtoc
12-04-2012, 03:13 PM
He showed me his santoku skills
His dexterity gave me the chills
So sharp was his blade

annetpfeffer
12-04-2012, 06:24 PM
He showed me his santoku skills
His dexterity gave me the chills
So sharp was his blade,
the slices he made

Sir_Nigel
12-04-2012, 06:37 PM
He showed me his santoku skills
His dexterity gave me the chills
So sharp was his blade,
the slices he made
were almost as thin as Bear Grylls’


He foolishly gave it a shove

annetpfeffer
12-04-2012, 08:03 PM
He foolishly gave it a shove
As hard as he could from above

flyingtart
12-04-2012, 08:09 PM
He foolishly gave it a shove
As hard as he could from above
It shuddered and then

Nymtoc
12-04-2012, 08:26 PM
He foolishly gave it a shove
As hard as he could from above
It shuddered and then
Plunged into the fen

iLion
12-04-2012, 10:14 PM
He foolishly gave it a shove
As hard as he could from above
It shuddered and then
Plunged into the fen
And never returned with his love.


My door is now open she said

annetpfeffer
12-04-2012, 10:48 PM
My door is now open she said
and now we are finally wed

Lavern08
12-04-2012, 11:50 PM
My door is now open she said
and now we are finally wed
But I think it's funny

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 03:59 AM
My door is now open she said
and now we are finally wed
But I think it's funny
that her darling honey

Matera the Mad
12-05-2012, 05:29 AM
My door is now open she said
and now we are finally wed
But I think it's funny
that her darling honey
Still goes to McD's to get fed!


I was so fired up yesterday

Nymtoc
12-05-2012, 06:34 AM
I was so fired up yesterday
When I heard they were raising my pay

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 07:34 AM
I was so fired up yesterday
When I heard they were raising my pay
I purchased a yacht

Matera the Mad
12-05-2012, 09:18 AM
I was so fired up yesterday
When I heard they were raising my pay
I purchased a yacht
But now -- ach! mein Gott!

Nymtoc
12-05-2012, 09:53 AM
I was so fired up yesterday
When I heard they were raising my pay
I purchased a yacht
But now -- ach! mein Gott!
"Just a clerical error." Oy veh!

The proof of the pudding, 'tis said,

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 10:50 AM
The proof of the pudding, 'tis said,
Is all in the eating. Instead,

Matera the Mad
12-05-2012, 11:22 AM
The proof of the pudding, 'tis said,
Is all in the eating. Instead,
I must disagree

Nymtoc
12-05-2012, 11:36 AM
The proof of the pudding, 'tis said,
Is all in the eating. Instead,
I must disagree
The real proof, you see,

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 11:47 AM
The proof of the pudding, 'tis said,
Is all in the eating. Instead,
I must disagree
The real proof, you see,
Is wearing it all on your head.



I danced til the night had grown old

Sir_Nigel
12-05-2012, 02:31 PM
I danced til the night had grown old
Those were very good drugs I was sold.

flyingtart
12-05-2012, 02:53 PM
I danced til the night had grown old
Those were very good drugs I was sold
But now my poor feet

Sir_Nigel
12-05-2012, 03:32 PM
I danced til the night had grown old
Those were very good drugs I was sold
But now my poor feet
aren’t smelling so sweet

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 07:25 PM
I danced til the night had grown old
Those were very good drugs I was sold
But now my poor feet
aren’t smelling so sweet
And my hangover's taking its hold.


The circus is coming to town

flyingtart
12-05-2012, 08:01 PM
The circus is coming to town
So why am I wearing a frown?

annetpfeffer
12-05-2012, 11:30 PM
The circus is coming to town
So why am I wearing a frown?
I'm not even sure

annetpfeffer
12-06-2012, 07:52 AM
Eight hours and no one's been inspired to write anything.... I'm changing my entry!

The circus is coming to town
So why am I wearing a frown?
I've taken my seat

Nymtoc
12-06-2012, 08:57 AM
The circus is coming to town
So why am I wearing a frown?
I've taken my seat
Got popcorn to eat

Sir_Nigel
12-06-2012, 12:36 PM
The circus is coming to town
So why am I wearing a frown?
I've taken my seat
Got popcorn to eat
It must be that sinister clown.



He had an irrational fear

flyingtart
12-06-2012, 01:23 PM
He had an irrational fear
Whenever a reindeer came near

Sir_Nigel
12-06-2012, 01:57 PM
He had an irrational fear
Whenever a reindeer came near
He screamed like a girl

Nymtoc
12-06-2012, 02:42 PM
He had an irrational fear
Whenever a reindeer came near
He screamed like a girl
And ran off in a whirl

annetpfeffer
12-06-2012, 02:57 PM
He had an irrational fear
Whenever a reindeer came near
He screamed like a girl
And ran off in a whirl
His condition was truly severe.


The pharmacy closes at nine

Nymtoc
12-06-2012, 04:25 PM
The pharmacy closes at nine
When I get my meds I'll be fine

flyingtart
12-06-2012, 04:38 PM
The pharmacy closes at nine
When I get my meds I'll be fine
Those lovely pink pills

Sir_Nigel
12-06-2012, 04:59 PM
The pharmacy closes at nine
When I get my meds I'll be fine
Those lovely pink pills
mean I’m zonked to the gills

annetpfeffer
12-06-2012, 05:50 PM
The pharmacy closes at nine
When I get my meds I'll be fine
Those lovely pink pills
mean I’m zonked to the gills
It's time now to break out the wine.


That fine, indescribable buzz

Sir_Nigel
12-06-2012, 06:56 PM
That fine, indescribable buzz
I really do like what it does

Lavern08
12-06-2012, 07:28 PM
That fine, indescribable buzz
I really do like what it does
I always get frisky

archerjoe
12-06-2012, 07:43 PM
That fine, indescribable buzz
I really do like what it does
I always get frisky,
Do things that are risky

Nymtoc
12-06-2012, 08:35 PM
That fine, indescribable buzz
I really do like what it does
I always get frisky,
Do things that are risky
You wanna know why? Just because.

She ran from the house in a fright

flyingtart
12-06-2012, 08:54 PM
She ran from the house in a fright
In her birthday suit - my, what a sight!

annetpfeffer
12-06-2012, 11:27 PM
She ran from the house in a fright
In her birthday suit - my, what a sight!
She hurried next door

Sir_Nigel
12-07-2012, 12:30 PM
She ran from the house in a fright
In her birthday suit - my, what a sight!
She hurried next door
where the fella said Phwor

flyingtart
12-07-2012, 02:11 PM
She ran from the house in a fright
In her birthday suit - my, what a sight!
She hurried next door
where the fella said Phwor
And they played hide the sausage all night


Meanwhile, in her kitchen, a beast

Sir_Nigel
12-07-2012, 02:55 PM
Meanwhile, in her kitchen, a beast
found his ravenous hunger increased

flyingtart
12-07-2012, 03:12 PM
Meanwhile, in her kitchen, a beast
found his ravenous hunger increased
He howled at the moon

Nymtoc
12-07-2012, 05:59 PM
Meanwhile, in her kitchen, a beast
found his ravenous hunger increased
He howled at the moon
Went berserk with a spoon

Sir_Nigel
12-07-2012, 06:10 PM
Meanwhile, in her kitchen, a beast
found his ravenous hunger increased
He howled at the moon
Went berserk with a spoon
‘til the sun slowly rose in the east.


He counted a hundred and seven

Nymtoc
12-07-2012, 06:25 PM
He counted a hundred and seven
Bad authors who all came from Devon

annetpfeffer
12-07-2012, 06:36 PM
He counted a hundred and seven
Bad authors who all came from Devon.
Their stuff really reeked

flyingtart
12-07-2012, 06:38 PM
He counted a hundred and seven
Bad authors who all came from Devon
Their stuff really reeked
Its awfulness peaked

annetpfeffer
12-07-2012, 09:20 PM
He counted a hundred and seven
Bad authors who all came from Devon
Their stuff really reeked
Its awfulness peaked.
He recounted a hundred eleven.



"Mon dieu!" cried the man from Quebec.

flyingtart
12-07-2012, 09:32 PM
"Mon dieu!" cried the man from Quebec
As the dart hit him right on the neck

archerjoe
12-07-2012, 10:10 PM
"Mon dieu!" cried the man from Quebec
As the dart hit him right on the neck
It's not hunting season

annetpfeffer
12-07-2012, 11:07 PM
"Mon dieu!" cried the man from Quebec
As the dart hit him right on the neck
It's not hunting season
There's really no reason

kenthepen
12-08-2012, 12:38 AM
"Mon Dieu!" cried the man from Quebec
As the dart hit him right on the neck
"It's not hunting season
There's really no reason...."
Then he swooned as the drug took effeck.

If this granite is hard as a rock

Pthom
12-08-2012, 05:18 AM
If this granite is hard as a rock
And smells like my Aunt Sally's sock

Nymtoc
12-08-2012, 06:27 AM
If this granite is hard as a rock
And smells like my Aunt Sally's sock
Then maybe this verse

annetpfeffer
12-08-2012, 07:10 AM
If this granite is hard as a rock
And smells like my Aunt Sally's sock
Then maybe this verse
Could even get worse

flyingtart
12-08-2012, 11:47 AM
If this granite is hard as a rock
And smells like my Aunt Sally's sock
Then maybe this verse
Could even get worse
And go turn some tricks at the dock

He turned to his wife with a grin

kenthepen
12-08-2012, 08:08 PM
He turned to his wife with a grin
And he claimed that it wasn't a sin

annetpfeffer
12-08-2012, 08:19 PM
He turned to his wife with a grin
And he claimed that it wasn't a sin
"You liar!" she cried

Clueless
12-08-2012, 08:27 PM
He turned to his wife with a grin
And he claimed that it wasn't a sin
"You liar!" she cried
"Quite wrong" I replied

Nymtoc
12-08-2012, 11:37 PM
He turned to his wife with a grin
And he claimed that it wasn't a sin
"You liar!" she cried
"Quite wrong" I replied
"I'm drinking pure vodka, not gin."

She danced every night until three

annetpfeffer
12-09-2012, 12:07 AM
She danced every night until three
and then ended up over his knee

kenthepen
12-09-2012, 03:54 AM
She danced every night until three
And then ended up over his knee
Thought her glutes were quite firm

iLion
12-09-2012, 05:22 AM
She danced every night until three
And then ended up over his knee
Thought her glutes were quite firm
His hands made her squirm

annetpfeffer
12-09-2012, 06:38 AM
She danced every night until three
And then ended up over his knee
Thought her glutes were quite firm
His hands made her squirm
For a kinky young lady was she.


"Curses!" the villain exclaimed

Nymtoc
12-09-2012, 07:50 AM
"Curses!" the villain exclaimed,
"My plan has failed, and I'll be named!"

annetpfeffer
12-09-2012, 09:37 AM
"Curses!" the villain exclaimed,
"My plan has failed, and I'll be named!"
If only I'd known

Nymtoc
12-09-2012, 11:53 AM
"Curses!" the villain exclaimed,
"My plan has failed, and I'll be named!"
If only I'd known
I'd not get the throne

flyingtart
12-09-2012, 03:42 PM
"Curses!" the villain exclaimed,
"My plan has failed, and I'll be named!
If only I'd known
I'd not get the throne
Just think how Mama will be shamed!"


Miss Marple was feeling perplexed

kenthepen
12-09-2012, 06:54 PM
Miss Marple was feeling perplexed
Unsure about what to do next

annetpfeffer
12-09-2012, 07:07 PM
Miss Marple was feeling perplexed
Unsure about what to do next
The killer was clever

Pthom
12-10-2012, 05:25 AM
Miss Marple was feeling perplexed
Unsure about what to do next
The killer was clever
Because he would never

Matera the Mad
12-10-2012, 08:56 AM
Miss Marple was feeling perplexed
Unsure about what to do next
The killer was clever
Because he would never
Look nervous, no matter how vexed.


The man was as cool as an ice cube

Pthom
12-10-2012, 12:05 PM
The man was as cool as an ice cube
When the cat lost a mouse in his boob tube.

flyingtart
12-10-2012, 01:48 PM
The man was as cool as an ice cube
When the cat lost a mouse in his boob tube
It scratched and it clawed

annetpfeffer
12-10-2012, 04:42 PM
The man was as cool as an ice cube
When the cat lost a mouse in his boob tube
It scratched and it clawed
But the thing that was odd

Sir_Nigel
12-10-2012, 06:53 PM
The man was as cool as an ice cube
When the cat lost a mouse in his boob tube
It scratched and it clawed
But the thing that was odd
was the pop of his huge blow up fake boob.


You may want to cover your ears

Bufty
12-10-2012, 07:03 PM
You may want to cover your ears
While Poppa McFly changes gears

Pthom
12-10-2012, 10:21 PM
You may want to cover your ears
While Poppa McFly changes gears
You don't want to linger

flyingtart
12-10-2012, 11:01 PM
You may want to cover your ears
While Poppa McFly changes gears
You don't want to linger
When he gives the finger

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 03:04 AM
You may want to cover your ears
While Poppa McFly changes gears
You don't want to linger
When he gives the finger
He's simmered in road rage for years.



I haven't the foggiest clue

Nymtoc
12-11-2012, 03:30 AM
I haven't the foggiest clue
About what you put into this stew

Pthom
12-11-2012, 04:07 AM
I haven't the foggiest clue
About what you put into this stew
Its flavor and texture

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 06:31 AM
I haven't the foggiest clue
About what you put into this stew
Its flavor and texture
Unduly affects your

archerjoe
12-11-2012, 06:52 AM
I haven't the foggiest clue
About what you put into this stew
Its flavor and texture
Unduly affects your
Tastebuds and esophagus, too

archerjoe
12-11-2012, 06:53 AM
The chili was too hot to eat

Sir_Nigel
12-11-2012, 12:54 PM
The chilli was too hot to eat
So he used it to warm up his feet

flyingtart
12-11-2012, 03:21 PM
The chilli was too hot to eat
So he used it to warm up his feet
But he noticed his toes

Sir_Nigel
12-11-2012, 05:05 PM
The chilli was too hot to eat
So he used it to warm up his feet
But he noticed his toes
looked like jalapenos

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 06:34 PM
The chilli was too hot to eat
So he used it to warm up his feet
But he noticed his toes
looked like jalapenos
so he jumped in the freezer tout de suite.


His temper was scary to see

kenthepen
12-11-2012, 06:37 PM
His temper was scary to see
Most of all when his target was me

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 06:40 PM
His temper was scary to see
Most of all when his target was me
I ran like a fool

kenthepen
12-11-2012, 06:44 PM
His temper was scary to see
Most of all when his target was me
I ran like a fool
While he screamed and sprayed drool

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 06:56 PM
His temper was scary to see
Most of all when his target was me
I ran like a fool
While he screamed and sprayed drool
I drop-kicked his balls with my knee.


That pathetic and feeble old man

Sir_Nigel
12-11-2012, 07:14 PM
“That pathetic and feeble old man”
- she sneered as she mugged him and ran

kenthepen
12-11-2012, 07:20 PM
"That pathetic and feeble old man"
-she sneered as she mugged him and ran
But he had the last laugh

annetpfeffer
12-11-2012, 09:42 PM
"That pathetic and feeble old man"
-she sneered as she mugged him and ran
But he had the last laugh
He picked up his staff

flyingtart
12-12-2012, 12:07 AM
"That pathetic and feeble old man"
-she sneered as she mugged him and ran
But he had the last laugh
He picked up his staff
And signalled his mate, Superman

You've heard all the tales of Clark Kent

Lavern08
12-12-2012, 12:35 AM
You've heard all the tales of Clark Kent
How into the phone booth he went

Nymtoc
12-12-2012, 12:51 AM
You've heard all the tales of Clark Kent
How into the phone booth he went
But what you don't know

kenthepen
12-12-2012, 04:39 AM
You've heard all the tales of Clark Kent
How into the phone booth he went
But what you don't know
Is the parts that would show

Matera the Mad
12-12-2012, 04:52 AM
You've heard all the tales of Clark Kent
How into the phone booth he went
But what you don't know
Is the parts that would show
With the age of the cell phone's advent.

Now how can a super-suit changing

annetpfeffer
12-12-2012, 11:25 AM
Now how can a super-suit changing
cause such life-and-love rearranging

Pthom
12-12-2012, 12:21 PM
Now how can a super-suit changing
Cause such life-and-love rearranging?
Do you ever suppose

flyingtart
12-12-2012, 02:07 PM
Now how can a super-suit changing
Cause such life-and-love rearranging?
Do you ever suppose
Magic tuxedos

Sir_Nigel
12-12-2012, 05:48 PM
Now how can a super-suit changing
Cause such life-and-love rearranging?
Do you ever suppose
Magic tuxedos
could be so diverse and wide-ranging?



I haven’t a clue what that means

kenthepen
12-12-2012, 05:59 PM
I haven't a clue what that means
But don't think that I don't know beans

Lavern08
12-12-2012, 06:36 PM
I haven't a clue what that means
But don't think that I don't know beans
Just give me a test

kenthepen
12-12-2012, 06:43 PM
I haven't a clue what that means
But don't think that I don't know beans
Just give me a test
I'll B.S. with the best

flyingtart
12-12-2012, 07:08 PM
I haven't a clue what that means
But don't think that I don't know beans
Just give me a test
I'll B.S. with the best
For that's where my tendency leans


Don't ever play cards with a stoat

Nymtoc
12-12-2012, 07:32 PM
"Don't ever play cards with a stoat"
That's a Shakespearean quote

iLion
12-12-2012, 09:57 PM
"Don't ever play cards with a stoat"
That's a Shakespearean quote
They cheat and they curse

kenthepen
12-12-2012, 10:00 PM
"Don't ever play cards with a stoat"
That's a Shakespearean quote
They cheat and they curse
And pour drinks in your purse

iLion
12-12-2012, 10:30 PM
"Don't ever play cards with a stoat".
That's a Shakespearean quote.
They cheat and they curse,
And pour drinks in your purse.
I'd sooner go sink in a boat.

Her legs were incredibly long.

annetpfeffer
12-12-2012, 10:45 PM
Her legs were incredibly long,
her clothing incredibly wrong.

kenthepen
12-12-2012, 10:53 PM
Her legs were incredibly long
Her clothing incredibly wrong
Her skirt was too mini

annetpfeffer
12-12-2012, 11:04 PM
Her legs were incredibly long
Her clothing incredibly wrong
Her skirt was too mini
It made her look skinny

flyingtart
12-12-2012, 11:09 PM
Her legs were incredibly long
Her clothing incredibly wrong
Her skirt was too mini
It made her look skinny
And did nothing to cover her schlong


I can't believe Gaga's a star

Pthom
12-12-2012, 11:44 PM
I can't believe Gaga's a star
Or for that matter, quarterback Carr!

annetpfeffer
12-13-2012, 03:29 AM
I can't believe Gaga's a star
Or for that matter, quarterback Carr!
When Gaga goes nude

kenthepen
12-13-2012, 05:32 AM
I can't believe Gaga's a star
Or for that matter, quarterback Carr!
When Gaga goes nude
'Neath her muffintop protrude

annetpfeffer
12-13-2012, 08:14 AM
I can't believe Gaga's a star
Or for that matter, quarterback Carr!
When Gaga goes nude
and her bulges protrude
she says "Take people just as they are."


When engaging in Zen meditation

Nymtoc
12-13-2012, 11:03 AM
When engaging in Zen meditation
Don't slip into mummification

Sir_Nigel
12-13-2012, 12:33 PM
When engaging in Zen meditation
Don't slip into mummification
They’ll rip out your brain

annetpfeffer
12-13-2012, 02:48 PM
When engaging in Zen meditation
Don't slip into mummification
They’ll rip out your brain
it's quite inhumane

flyingtart
12-13-2012, 04:01 PM
When engaging in Zen meditation
Don't slip into mummification
They’ll rip out your brain
it's quite inhumane
And no cause for much celebration


Constanza, the love of my life

Nymtoc
12-13-2012, 04:14 PM
When engaging in Zen meditation
Don't slip into mummification
They’ll rip out your brain
it's quite inhumane
And leads to demoralization.

I'm baking a blueberry pie

annetpfeffer
12-13-2012, 05:51 PM
Constanza, the love of my life
insists she cannot be my wife



I'm baking a blueberry pie
it's so damn delicious that I

flyingtart
12-13-2012, 07:54 PM
Constanza, the love of my life
insists she cannot be my wife
The reason, you see



I'm baking a blueberry pie
it's so damn delicious that I
Cannot stop nibbling

kenthepen
12-13-2012, 08:26 PM
Constanza, the love of my life
Insists she cannot be my wife
The reason, you see
Is addition makes three


I'm baking a blueberry pie
It's so damn delicious that I
Cannot stop nibbling
And drooling and dribbling

Nymtoc
12-13-2012, 08:52 PM
Constanza, the love of my life
Insists she cannot be my wife
The reason, you see
Is addition makes three
Leading only to trouble and strife

I'm baking a blueberry pie
It's so damn delicious that I
Cannot stop nibbling
And drooling and dribbling
The neighbors don't understand why.

The world will soon end, sad to say,

iLion
12-13-2012, 09:32 PM
The world will soon end, sad to say,
But I'll go to heaven that day.

annetpfeffer
12-13-2012, 09:32 PM
The world will soon end, sad to say,
But I'll go to heaven that day
Cuz I'm always good

iLion
12-13-2012, 09:56 PM
The world will soon end, sad to say,
But I'll go to heaven that day
Cuz I'm always good
'cept the time that I stood

annetpfeffer
12-14-2012, 10:04 AM
The world will soon end, sad to say,
But I'll go to heaven that day
Cuz I'm always good
'cept the time that I stood
On my head, to the reverend's dismay


I wish that I weren't always late

flyingtart
12-14-2012, 01:24 PM
I wish that I weren't always late
Punctuality isn't my mate

kenthepen
12-14-2012, 07:39 PM
I wish that I weren't always late
Punctuality isn't my mate
I've been married to tardy