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StephanieFox
10-12-2012, 05:22 AM
I'm playing a game with my cat
I'm pretending that she is a bat
Not the kind that can fly

druid12000
10-12-2012, 06:22 AM
I'm playing a game with my cat
I'm pretending that she is a bat
Not the kind that can fly
but one that will try

woozy
10-12-2012, 06:26 AM
I'm playing a game with my cat
I'm pretending that she is a bat
Not the kind that can fly
but one that will try
to knock the ball to wall. Think of that!

Red wine has damaged my brain

druid12000
10-12-2012, 06:33 AM
Red wine has damaged my brain
and, to date, I feel no pain

woozy
10-12-2012, 08:16 AM
Red wine has damaged my brain
and, to date, I feel no pain
though my logics impaired

Nymtoc
10-12-2012, 10:04 AM
Red wine has damaged my brain
and so far, I'm feeling no pain
though my logic's impaired
My libido was spared

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2012, 12:17 PM
Red wine has damaged my brain
and so far, I'm feeling no pain
though my logic's impaired
My libido was spared
Now shut up and take your cocaine.



She looked like Attila the Hun

woozy
10-12-2012, 07:04 PM
She looked like Attila the Hun
had he been a Czechloslavakian nun

Pthom
10-12-2012, 10:05 PM
She looked like Attila the Hun
had he been a Czechloslavakian nun waaay too many syllables!
(Had he been a Slovakian nun).

StephanieFox
10-13-2012, 04:46 AM
She looked like Attila the Hun.
Had she been a Slovakian nun,
Or a breed of equine

Pthom
10-13-2012, 05:25 AM
She looked like Attila the Hun.
Had she been a Slovakian nun,
Or a breed of equine
With a hump on her spine

StephanieFox
10-13-2012, 05:38 AM
She looked like Attila the Hun.
Had she been a Slovakian nun,
Or a breed of equine
With a hump on her spine
Maybe then, we would think it was fun.



The cabbages go in the stew

Ketzel
10-13-2012, 06:12 AM
The cabbages go in the stew
I suggest that you use quite a few

Nymtoc
10-13-2012, 09:44 AM
The cabbages go in the stew
I suggest that you use quite a few
And toss in a snail

Ketzel
10-13-2012, 07:15 PM
The cabbages go in the stew
I suggest that you use quite a few
And toss in a snail
There's one left in the pail

Nymtoc
10-13-2012, 08:16 PM
The cabbages go in the stew
I suggest that you use quite a few
And toss in a snail
There's one left in the pail
And don't forget kidney of gnu.

She lives in her mansion alone

Ketzel
10-13-2012, 08:21 PM
She lives in her mansion alone
Refuses to answer her phone

StephanieFox
10-14-2012, 08:58 AM
She lives in her mansion alone
Refuses to answer her phone
But it's all for the best

Nymtoc
10-14-2012, 09:09 AM
She lives in her mansion alone
Refuses to answer her phone
But it's all for the best
For it must be confessed

druid12000
10-14-2012, 10:15 AM
She lives in her mansion alone
Refuses to answer her phone
But it's all for the best
For it must be confessed
Her best memories have all flown.

I tarried through Hell's gate

Nymtoc
10-14-2012, 10:29 AM
I tarried through Hell's gate* (*doesn't quite scan ;))

I took my sweet time through Hell's gate
It might be more prudent to wait

Nymtoc
10-14-2012, 10:30 AM
I tarried through Hell's gate* (*doesn't quite scan ;))

I took my sweet time through Hell's gate
It thought it was prudent to wait

StephanieFox
10-14-2012, 09:52 PM
I took my sweet time through Hell's gate
It thought it was prudent to wait
'Cause my rhyming won't scan

Lavern08
10-15-2012, 12:49 AM
I took my sweet time through Hell's gate
It thought it was prudent to wait
'Cause my rhyming won't scan
And then Nymtoc will ban

Nymtoc
10-15-2012, 04:28 AM
I took my sweet time through Hell's gate
It thought it was prudent to wait
'Cause my rhyming won't scan
And then Nymtoc will ban
Which would be an unspeakable fate.

"I wear only sheer bras," she said

woozy
10-15-2012, 06:25 AM
"I wear only sheer bras," she said
"But for people who fear bras, instead

Ketzel
10-15-2012, 08:37 AM
"I wear only sheer bras," she said.
"But for people who fear bras, instead
I sell pasties in nude

Nymtoc
10-15-2012, 10:06 AM
"I wear only sheer bras," she said.
"But for people who fear bras, instead
I sell pasties in nude
Though some say they're crude

Ketzel
10-15-2012, 06:07 PM
I wear only sheer bras," she said.
"But for people who fear bras, instead
I sell pasties in nude
Though some say they're crude
And the glue makes the nipples bright red."

Is anyone really a fan?

Lavern08
10-15-2012, 06:53 PM
Is anyone really a fan?
Of that crazy Allstate mayhem man

iLion
10-15-2012, 08:45 PM
Is anyone really a fan?
Of that crazy Allstate mayhem man
He can't even act

archerjoe
10-15-2012, 09:09 PM
Is anyone really a fan?
Of that crazy Allstate mayhem man
He can't even act
Possesses no tact

iLion
10-15-2012, 09:17 PM
Is anyone really a fan?
Of that crazy Allstate mayhem man
He can't even act
Possesses no tact
I admit, tho, he has the best tan.

So what'll we do after life?

archerjoe
10-15-2012, 09:35 PM
So what'll we do after life?
Reunite with our mistress or wife?

iLion
10-15-2012, 10:21 PM
So what'll we do after life?
Reunite with our mistress or wife?
I've had twnety-nine

Nymtoc
10-15-2012, 10:49 PM
So what'll we do after life?
Reunite with our mistress or wife?
I've had twenty-nine--
Twenty angels, nine swine--

iLion
10-15-2012, 11:23 PM
So what'll we do after life?
Reunite with our mistress or wife?
I've had twenty-nine--
Twenty angels, nine swine--
And a goat that I ate with a knife.

I've had it! I'm leaving for good!

woozy
10-15-2012, 11:26 PM
I've had it! I'm leaving for good!
Just like you said that I should

Lavern08
10-15-2012, 11:54 PM
I've had it! I'm leaving for good!
Just like you said that I should
We know you're just bluffing

Nymtoc
10-16-2012, 11:10 AM
I've had it! I'm leaving for good!
Just like you said that I should
We know you're just bluffing
And huffing and puffing

Sir_Nigel
10-16-2012, 05:00 PM
I've had it! I'm leaving for good!
Just like you said that I should
We know you're just bluffing
And huffing and puffing
But he left in a frenzy of blood...... . . . .

The puppies and kittens were cute

Ketzel
10-16-2012, 07:36 PM
The puppies and kittens were cute
Then there's me, in my white bunny suit

iLion
10-16-2012, 07:48 PM
The puppies and kittens were cute.
Then there's me, in my white bunny suit.
No one will suspect

Ketzel
10-16-2012, 09:07 PM
The puppies and kittens were cute.
Then there's me, in my white bunny suit.
No one will suspect
That I am bedecked

Clueless
10-17-2012, 02:11 AM
The puppies and kittens were cute.
Then there's me, in my white bunny suit.
No one will suspect
That I am bedecked
With two turtles in my fluffy boots.

I fear that I've made a mistake

Nymtoc
10-17-2012, 08:46 AM
I fear that I've made a mistake
You'll find your new car in the lake

Sir_Nigel
10-17-2012, 12:33 PM
I fear that I've made a mistake
You'll find your new car in the lake
It thought it might float

iLion
10-17-2012, 09:24 PM
I fear that I've made a mistake
You'll find your new car in the lake
I thought it might float
But it sank with your goat

Ketzel
10-17-2012, 10:02 PM
I fear that I've made a mistake
You'll find your new car in the lake
I thought it might float
But it sank with your goat
Who somehow ingested the brake

ilion - you keep killing off goats. Is there some issue there? :-)

My doctor's concerned with my heart

Nymtoc
10-17-2012, 10:09 PM
My doctor's concerned with my heart
He says it has one extra part

iLion
10-17-2012, 10:23 PM
Well, Ketzel.. me being a lion and all... those goats and elephants are extra tasty. :)


My doctor's concerned with my heart
He says it has one extra part
I got it at Sears

Nymtoc
10-17-2012, 10:33 PM
My doctor's concerned with my heart
He says it has one extra part
I got it at Sears
Along with two gears

Ketzel
10-18-2012, 02:17 AM
My doctor's concerned with my heart
He says it has one extra part
I got it at Sears
Along with two gears
And an E-Z Read Cardiac Chart

I lost a gold ring in the sea

strictlytopsecret
10-18-2012, 03:40 AM
I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me

woozy
10-18-2012, 05:37 AM
I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me
I'd murder and kill for it

Nymtoc
10-18-2012, 05:55 AM
I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me
I'd murder and kill for it

"I'd murder and kill for it" -- Too many syllables, not to mention the fact that "murder" and "kill" are redundant. ;)

I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me
I'd slug and I'd whack
To get my ring back*



*My lines are not great either, but at least they scan. :D

woozy
10-18-2012, 06:11 AM
"I'd murder and kill for it" -- Too many syllables, No it isn't! not to mention the fact that "murder" and "kill" are redundant. ;) True but it makes them scan

I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me
I'd slug and I'd whack
To get my ring back*



*My lines are not great either, but at least they scan. :D

I lost a gold ring in the sea
It was awfully precious to me
I'd slug and I'd whack
To get my ring back
It pins me where I weren't s'posed to be

If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse

iLion
10-18-2012, 08:35 PM
*sigh....

Pthom
10-18-2012, 08:52 PM
If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse
And if toys for adults made in Laos...

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2012, 12:33 PM
If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse
And if toys for adults made in Laos...
it wouldn't make sense

iLion
10-19-2012, 08:55 PM
If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse
And if toys for adults made in Laos...
it wouldn't make sense
And I'd take offense

woozy
10-19-2012, 09:36 PM
If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse
And if toys for adults made in Laos...
it wouldn't make sense
And I'd take offense
At this unparsable limerick you lent us.

*terrible, just terrible*

For a good time call Oliver McFeeney

Pthom
10-19-2012, 09:54 PM
Just an alternate finish for the previous limerick:
If trees could read porn, they'd read Enthouse
And if toys for adults made in Laos...
Were shiny red plastic
Would it really be drastic
To make love with me in the Bauhaus?Just sayin' :D

Now, this next start: too many syllables. Here's a suggested adjustment:

For a good time call Ollie McFeeney

strictlytopsecret
10-19-2012, 10:35 PM
For a good time call Ollie McFeeney
And ask him to roast you a weenie

woozy
10-20-2012, 11:08 AM
For a good time call Ollie McFeeney
And ask him to roast you a weenie
But try not to smirk

Ketzel
10-20-2012, 07:43 PM
For a good time call Ollie McFeeney
And ask him to roast you a weenie
But try not to smirk
At his one little quirk

alexaherself
10-21-2012, 02:46 AM
For a good time call Ollie McFeeney
And ask him to roast you a weenie
But try not to smirk
At his one little quirk -
The music of Henry Mancini.

The Pink Panther theme was his best

woozy
10-21-2012, 10:54 AM
The Pink Panther theme was his best
Baby Elephant Walk's stood the test

Rufus Coppertop
10-21-2012, 12:27 PM
The Pink Panther theme was his best,
Baby Elephant Walk's stood the test.
When it throbs from an organ,

alexaherself
10-21-2012, 10:30 PM
The Pink Panther theme was his best,
Baby Elephant Walk's stood the test.
When it throbs from an organ
(If played by a gorgon),

Lavern08
10-22-2012, 01:31 AM
The Pink Panther theme was his best,
Baby Elephant Walk's stood the test.
When it throbs from an organ
(If played by a gorgon),
It puts to shame all of the rest.

Chief Inspector was really a hoot

woozy
10-22-2012, 05:46 AM
Chief Inspector is really a hoot
When dressed up in his fanciest suit

Rufus Coppertop
10-22-2012, 06:40 AM
Chief Inspector is really a hoot
When dressed up in his fanciest suit
Chief Inspector is really a hoot
when dressed up in his fanciest suit.
If internal affairs

woozy
10-22-2012, 09:27 AM
Chief Inspector is really a hoot
when dressed up in his fanciest suit.
If internal affairs
knew what goes on upstairs

annetpfeffer
10-22-2012, 06:29 PM
Chief Inspector is really a hoot
when dressed up in his fanciest suit.
If internal affairs
knew what goes on upstairs
That inspector'd be getting the boot!


The last time I went to New York

alexaherself
10-22-2012, 06:40 PM
The last time I went to New York
I decided to act like a dork

Lavern08
10-22-2012, 06:59 PM
The last time I went to New York
I decided to act like a dork
I yelled at a local

alexaherself
10-22-2012, 07:00 PM
The last time I went to New York
I decided to act like a dork
I yelled at a local,
Got even more vocal,

Ketzel
10-22-2012, 07:35 PM
The last time I went to New York
I decided to act like a dork
I yelled at a local,
Got even more vocal
When I ran into P.J. O'Rourke

It's time to remodel the bath

iLion
10-22-2012, 09:18 PM
It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math

woozy
10-22-2012, 11:12 PM
It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math
Calculate the square footage

strictlytopsecret
10-22-2012, 11:50 PM
It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math
So many square feet *
I may have to cheat



* Apologies to woozy. I couldn't rhyme "footage", and I think there may be an extra syllable in there. Hope I at least did justice to the spirit of your line.

woozy
10-23-2012, 06:00 AM
* Apologies to woozy. I couldn't rhyme "footage".


GRRRRRrrrrrrrr! It was supposed to be a challenge...... grrrrrrrr!

Sir_Nigel
10-23-2012, 11:52 AM
It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math
So many square feet
I may have to cheat
(It’s a verrie olde bathroome he hath)


A nun said to Father Reilly

Ketzel
10-23-2012, 05:48 PM
[Ketzel bravely takes up Woozy's challenge:

It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math
Calculate the square footage
Hot water outputtage
(It’s a verrie olde bathroome he hath)]


A nun said to Father O'Reilly (adjusted for meter)
How is it you're always so smiley?

woozy
10-23-2012, 09:45 PM
[Ketzel bravely takes up Woozy's challenge:

It's time to remodel the bath
I better do financial math
Calculate the square footage
Hot water outputtage
(It’s a verrie olde bathroome he hath)]



Nice!

A nun said to Father O'Reilly
How is it you're always so smiley
"Roadrunner cartoons,

Rufus Coppertop
10-24-2012, 04:57 PM
[QUOTE=woozy;7695659]Nice!

A nun said to Father O'Reilly
How is it you're always so smiley
"Roadrunner cartoons,
and all Looney Tunes

strictlytopsecret
10-24-2012, 06:25 PM
A nun said to Father O'Reilly
How is it you're always so smiley
"Roadrunner cartoons,
and all Looney Tunes,"
The Father replied rather shyly

When watching tv pre-election,

woozy
10-24-2012, 08:48 PM
When watching tv pre-election,
I'm reminded of natural selection

*so no bite for "Coyote, Wile E." in the last limerick?

annetpfeffer
10-25-2012, 05:05 AM
When watching tv pre-election,
I'm reminded of natural selection.
He wins who shouts loudest

Nymtoc
10-25-2012, 05:18 AM
When watching tv pre-election,
I'm reminded of natural selection.
He wins who shouts loudest
Who then becomes proudest

annetpfeffer
10-25-2012, 05:42 AM
When watching tv pre-election,
I'm reminded of natural selection.
He wins who shouts loudest
Who then becomes proudest
His lies having missed our detection.


The debates were a total charade

strictlytopsecret
10-25-2012, 05:49 AM
The debates were a total charade
Incompetent mods on parade

annetpfeffer
10-25-2012, 08:20 PM
The debates were a total charade
Incompetent mods on parade
Attacks, accusations

iLion
10-25-2012, 08:37 PM
The debates were a total charade
Incompetent mods on parade
Attacks, accusations
And now obfuscations

strictlytopsecret
10-25-2012, 08:45 PM
The debates were a total charade
Incompetent mods on parade
Attacks, accusations
And now obfuscations
How far from the Founders we've strayed

My house is a terrible mess

Clueless
10-25-2012, 09:22 PM
The last time I went to New York
I bought fifty pounds of some pork

woozy
10-25-2012, 11:37 PM
My house is a terrible mess
It'll never be clean, I guess

Nymtoc
10-26-2012, 12:12 AM
Two for the money...:D


The last time I went to New York
I bought fifty pounds of some pork

The last time I went to New York
I bought fifty pounds of some pork
The butcher said, "Hey,



My house is a terrible mess
It'll never be clean, I guess

My house is a terrible mess
It'll never be clean, I guess
So why should I try

woozy
10-26-2012, 07:42 AM
The last time I went to New York
I bought fifty pounds of some pork
The butcher said, "Hey,
Watcha doin' today?


My house is a terrible mess
It'll never be clean, I guess
So why should I try
to even get by

Nymtoc
10-26-2012, 10:35 AM
The last time I went to New York
I bought fifty pounds of some pork
The butcher said, "Hey,
Watcha doin' today?"
I said, "None of your business, you dork!"

My house is a terrible mess
It'll never be clean, I guess
So why should I try
to even get by
I think I'll just go and undress.


There once was a man from Cancún

strictlytopsecret
10-26-2012, 03:36 PM
There once was a man from Cancún
Who simply adored crab rangoon

woozy
10-26-2012, 08:36 PM
There once was a man from Cancún
Who simply adored crab rangoon
and lobster filet

iLion
10-26-2012, 08:56 PM
There once was a man from Cancún
Who simply adored crab rangoon
and lobster filet
All covered in clay

Ketzel
10-26-2012, 09:46 PM
There once was a man from Cancún
Who simply adored crab rangoon
and lobster filet
All covered in clay
Then cooked by the light of the moon

There was a young man from Belize

strictlytopsecret
10-27-2012, 12:31 AM
There was a young man from Belize
Whose dream was to own a trapeze

archerjoe
10-27-2012, 12:49 AM
There was a young man from Belize
Whose dream was to own a trapeze
But having no net

Nymtoc
10-27-2012, 01:16 AM
There was a young man from Belize
Whose dream was to own a trapeze
But having no net
He feared he might get

strictlytopsecret
10-27-2012, 01:48 AM
There was a young man from Belize
Whose dream was to own a trapeze
But having no net
He feared he might get
Much worse than a pair of skinned knees

Frankstorm's coming to get us

Nymtoc
10-27-2012, 09:21 PM
Frankstorm's coming to get us
We'll flee if Aeolus will let us

strictlytopsecret
10-27-2012, 09:44 PM
Frankstorm's coming to get us
We'll flee if Aeolus will let us
But if we must stay

Lavern08
10-27-2012, 11:22 PM
Frankenstorm's coming to get us
We'll flee if Aeolus will let us
But if we must stay
Let's all kneel and pray

Nymtoc
10-28-2012, 12:07 AM
Frankenstorm's coming to get us
We'll flee if Aeolus will let us
But if we must stay
Let's all kneel and pray
Though Frankenstorm's still gonna wet us.

This package contains a surprise

annetpfeffer
10-28-2012, 12:31 AM
This package contains a surprise
to you, hon, from all of the guys

strictlytopsecret
10-28-2012, 02:42 AM
This package contains a surprise
to you, hon, from all of the guys
There's no way you'll guess

annetpfeffer
10-28-2012, 03:38 AM
This package contains a surprise
to you, hon, from all of the guys
There's no way you'll guess
So let me confess

woozy
10-28-2012, 03:57 AM
This package contains a surprise
to you, hon, from all of the guys
There's no way you'll guess
So let me confess
It's my collection of real human eyes!

I started with small cats and dogs

archerjoe
10-28-2012, 04:57 AM
I started with small cats and dogs
And moved on to turtles and frogs

woozy
10-28-2012, 08:09 AM
I started with small cats and dogs
And moved on to turtles and frogs
and then I did primates

annetpfeffer
10-28-2012, 08:21 PM
I started with small cats and dogs
And moved on to turtles and frogs
and then I did primates
I hardly know why, mates

Nymtoc
10-29-2012, 12:12 AM
I started with small cats and dogs
And moved on to turtles and frogs
and then I did primates
I hardly know why, mates
And why did I never do hogs?

Without wheels my Chevy won't run

Lavern08
10-29-2012, 12:44 AM
Without wheels my Chevy won't run
And pushing it isn't much fun

strictlytopsecret
10-29-2012, 02:56 AM
Without wheels my Chevy won't run
And pushing it isn't much fun
So now it's on blocks

annetpfeffer
10-29-2012, 04:17 AM
Without wheels my Chevy won't run
And pushing it isn't much fun
So now it's on blocks
and I'm taking walks

Pthom
10-29-2012, 04:29 AM
Without wheels my Chevy won't run
And pushing it isn't much fun
So now it's on blocks
and I'm taking walks
Hey! It's better'n being a nun!

I wish that I had better habits.

annetpfeffer
10-29-2012, 05:02 AM
I wish that I had better habits.
I confessed all my sins to the abbots.

Matera the Mad
10-29-2012, 05:26 AM
I wish that I had better habits.
I confessed all my sins to the abbots.
The penance was hard

Nymtoc
10-29-2012, 05:32 AM
I wish that I had better habits.
I confessed all my sins to the abbots.
The penance was hard
I had to eat chard

woozy
10-29-2012, 05:53 AM
I wish that I had better habits.
I confessed all my sins to the abbots.
The penance was hard
I had to eat chard
And basically live with the rabbits.

I am a mighty meat eater

Matera the Mad
10-29-2012, 05:59 AM
I wish that I had better habits.
I confessed all my sins to the abbots.
The penance was hard
I had to eat chard
'Til my breath had me fighting off rabbits.

Oh why, in my misguided folly,

woozy
10-29-2012, 06:27 AM
Two for the price of one again:

Oh why, in my misguided folly,
Did I think it'd be fun to eat holly



I am a mighty meat eater

annetpfeffer
10-29-2012, 07:26 AM
Oh why, in my misguided folly,
Did I think it'd be fun to eat holly?
Those hard pricklly stems



I am a mighty meat eater
who needs a thick steak to complete 'er

Nymtoc
10-29-2012, 01:48 PM
Oh why, in my misguided folly,
Did I think it'd be fun to eat holly?
Those hard prickly stems
Have torn all my hems


I am a mighty meat eater
who needs a thick steak to complete 'er
I order them rare

annetpfeffer
10-29-2012, 06:46 PM
Oh why, in my misguided folly,
Did I think it'd be fun to eat holly?
Those hard prickly stems
Have torn all my hems
And the berries are sour, by golly!


I am a mighty meat eater
who needs a thick steak to complete 'er
I order them rare
Then eat the plate bare

iLion
10-29-2012, 08:34 PM
I am a mighty meat eater
who needs a thick steak to complete 'er
I order them rare
Then eat the plate bare
When I'm full I do better on meter.


I know a young lady who sits

Pthom
10-29-2012, 09:41 PM
I know a young lady who sits
All day long making battleship kits

Ketzel
10-29-2012, 09:55 PM
I know a young lady who sits
All day long making battleship kits
When I asked her, "What for?"

Nymtoc
10-29-2012, 10:14 PM
I know a young lady who sits
All day long making battleship kits
When I asked her, "What for?"
She said, "The next war

woozy
10-30-2012, 04:35 AM
I know a young lady who sits
All day long making battleship kits
When I asked her, "What for?"
She said, "The next war
will be won in pieces and bits"

A prostitute with diarrhea

Nymtoc
10-30-2012, 04:58 AM
A prostitute with diarrhea
Said, "How can I work? Mamma mia!"

woozy
10-30-2012, 05:29 AM
A prostitute with diarrhea
Said, "How can I work? Mamma mia!"
And the epileptic oyster shucker

annetpfeffer
10-30-2012, 06:32 AM
A prostitute with diarrhea
Said, "How can I work? Mamma mia!"
And the epileptic oyster shucker
said this meter's run amucker!

annetpfeffer
10-30-2012, 06:35 AM
A prostitute with diarrhea
Said, "How can I work? Mamma mia!"
And the epileptic oyster shucker
said this meter's run amucker!
Causing nasty grand mal seizurea!

(I"m sorry I couldn't resist!)

I hate follks who don't wait their turn

Nymtoc
10-30-2012, 06:45 AM
A prostitute with diarrhea
Said, "How can I work? Mamma mia!"
And the epileptic oyster shucker
said this meter's run amucker!
Causing nasty grand mal seizurea!

(I"m sorry I couldn't resist!)

I hate follks who don't wait their turn

Okay, I guess we know that those third and fourth lines are way out of meter. Can't we try to stay within good limerick form, limerickophiles? :D

I hate folks who don't wait their turn
I see them and do a slow burn

woozy
10-30-2012, 08:17 AM
Okay, I guess we know that those third and fourth lines are way out of meter. Can't we try to stay within good limerick form, limerickophiles? :D

It's called synchopation. I can try, but an epileptic oyster shucker is beyond temptation. Riddle: What's the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an epileptic oyster shucker?

I hate folks who don't wait their turn
I see them and do a slow burn
I fume and I fret

annetpfeffer
10-30-2012, 09:53 AM
I hate folks who don't wait their turn
I see them and do a slow burn
I fume and I fret
I try to forget

Nymtoc
10-30-2012, 10:44 AM
I hate folks who don't wait their turn
I see them and do a slow burn
I fume and I fret
I try to forget
And yet I know they'll never learn.

They found her red garters quite shocking

annetpfeffer
10-30-2012, 01:22 PM
They found her red garters quite shocking
and set about pointing and mocking

Nymtoc
10-30-2012, 02:35 PM
They found her red garters quite shocking
and set about pointing and mocking
But she mocked them back

Pthom
10-30-2012, 08:45 PM
It's called synchopation. I can try, but an epileptic oyster shucker is beyond temptation.
Syncopation is indeed a valid tool in writing poetry, especially song lyrics, but unless it fits the rather rigid rules of the limerick form, then it has no place in a limerick. It is permissible to "lead" the beat with an extra syllable, once in awhile, or to omit a syllable when in reading the result, the required beat is preserved. But it is not permissible to use words where in normal reading, the beat is completely lost.

I agree that "epileptic oyster shucker" is a compelling and very funny line, but I can't find a way to incorporate the rhythm of it in any line of a limerick.

Now, back to the current rhyme:

They found her red garters quite shocking
and set about pointing and mocking
But she mocked them back
And took from her sack

iLion
10-30-2012, 09:00 PM
They found her red garters quite shocking
and set about pointing and mocking
But she mocked them back
And took from her sack
Her lawyer, to sue them for gawking.

The ladies next door are old biddies

Ketzel
10-30-2012, 09:20 PM
The ladies next door are old biddies
And yet, they are friends of P. Diddy's

Nymtoc
10-31-2012, 02:20 AM
The ladies next door are old biddies
And yet, they are friends of P. Diddy's
They serve him hot tea

StephanieFox
10-31-2012, 05:29 AM
The ladies next door are old biddies
And yet, they are friends of P. Diddy's
They serve him hot tea
As they sit on his knee

annetpfeffer
10-31-2012, 05:53 AM
The ladies next door are old biddies
And yet, they are friends of P. Diddy's
They serve him hot tea
As they sit on his knee
They are fans even more than the kiddies.


He's just unredeemably thick

Nymtoc
10-31-2012, 05:56 AM
He's just unredeemably thick
His brain is as dense as a brick

woozy
10-31-2012, 06:10 AM
He's just unredeemably thick
His brain is as dense as a brick
He's so dumb that he thinks

annetpfeffer
10-31-2012, 06:39 AM
He's just unredeemably thick
His brain is as dense as a brick
He's so dumb that he thinks
when a sailing ship sinks

woozy
10-31-2012, 08:47 AM
He's just unredeemably thick
His brain is as dense as a brick
He's so dumb that he thinks
when a sailing ship sinks
You've just got to give it a kick

My bread is all covered with mold.

annetpfeffer
10-31-2012, 08:54 PM
My bread is all covered with mold
A day or two after it sold.

iLion
10-31-2012, 08:59 PM
My bread is all covered with mold
A day or two after it sold.
You try it first

Pthom
10-31-2012, 09:25 PM
My bread is all covered with mold
A day or two after it sold.
You try it first
While I slake my thirst.

annetpfeffer
10-31-2012, 09:30 PM
My bread is all covered with mold
A day or two after it sold.
You try it first
While I slake my thirst
and watch your slow dying unfold.

I'm actually quite a nice gal

iLion
10-31-2012, 09:30 PM
My bread is all covered with mold
A day or two after it sold.
You try it first
While I slake my thirst.
If you die I will give you my gold.


I jumped off a building to fly

woozy
10-31-2012, 10:36 PM
Two for the price of one again!

I'm actually quite a nice gal
For five bucks I'll be your best pal

I jumped off a building to fly
I thought it'd be worth a try

Nymtoc
10-31-2012, 10:56 PM
I'm actually quite a nice gal
For five bucks I'll be your best pal
And then, for five more,


I jumped off a building to fly
I thought it'd be worth a try
If Clark Kent could wing it

woozy
10-31-2012, 11:45 PM
I'm actually quite a nice gal
For five bucks I'll be your best pal
And then, for five more,
I'd settle the score


I jumped off a building to fly
I thought it'd be worth a try
If Clark Kent could wing it
I could, there on bring it*

*a preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence on.

annetpfeffer
11-01-2012, 03:54 AM
I'm actually quite a nice gal
For five bucks I'll be your best pal
And then, for five more,
I'd settle the score
you'll find that it's good for morale.



I jumped off a building to fly
I thought it'd be worth a try
If Clark Kent could wing it
I could, there on bring it*
But he's aerodynamic -- not I.


I need not a wimp, but a man.

Nymtoc
11-01-2012, 04:33 AM
I need not a wimp, but a man,
And craigslist is part of my plan

Lavern08
11-01-2012, 06:20 PM
I need not a wimp, but a man,
And craigslist is part of my plan
I'll write a cool ad

iLion
11-01-2012, 09:23 PM
I need not a wimp, but a man,
And craigslist is part of my plan
I'll write a cool ad
with a pic that's bad

Nymtoc
11-01-2012, 09:30 PM
I need not a wimp, but a man,
And craigslist is part of my plan
I'll write a cool ad
with a pic that's bad
And snag a cool dude, if I can.

My Uncle Bud works at the bank

iLion
11-01-2012, 09:41 PM
My Uncle Bud works at the bank
Some say he's just an old crank

annetpfeffer
11-01-2012, 09:53 PM
My Uncle Bud works at the bank
Some say he's just an old crank
His job is to guard

iLion
11-01-2012, 09:58 PM
My Uncle Bud works at the bank
Some say he's just an old crank
His job is to guard
A vault full of lard

Nymtoc
11-01-2012, 10:42 PM
My Uncle Bud works at the bank
Some say he's just an old crank
His job is to guard
A vault full of lard
That once was an old septic tank.

When Billy Bob moved to the city

woozy
11-01-2012, 10:54 PM
When Billy Bob moved to the city
He thought the lights sure were pretty

Lavern08
11-02-2012, 12:16 AM
When Billy Bob moved to the city
He thought the lights sure were pretty
That girl on the block

woozy
11-02-2012, 07:31 AM
When Billy Bob moved to the city
He thought the lights sure were pretty
That girl on the block
Knocked off his one sock

Nymtoc
11-02-2012, 07:44 AM
When Billy Bob moved to the city
He thought the lights sure were pretty
That girl on the block
Knocked off his one sock
And sang a nonsensical ditty.

There once was a butcher called Ames

woozy
11-02-2012, 08:18 AM
There once was a butcher called Ames
Who lived on the banks of the Thames

Pthom
11-02-2012, 11:20 AM
The River Thames is pronounced "temz" to rhyme with mens.

Care to try again?

annetpfeffer
11-02-2012, 03:38 PM
There once was a butcher called Ems
Who lived on the banks of the Thames
He kept his knives sharp

Nymtoc
11-02-2012, 03:52 PM
There once was a butcher called Ems
Who lived on the banks of the Thames
He kept his knives sharp
At night he played harp

Sir_Nigel
11-02-2012, 05:47 PM
There once was a butcher called Ems
Who lived on the banks of the Thames
He kept his knives sharp
At night he played harp
to the records he’d purchased in NEMS*


*Brian Epstein’s record shop. A long way from the Thames. An unlikely scenario I know.


There was a fat lady called Brenda

annetpfeffer
11-02-2012, 05:48 PM
There once was a butcher called Ems
Who lived on the banks of the Thames
He kept his knives sharp
At night he played harp
and downed red and green M&Ms.


The warning came down from on high

annetpfeffer
11-02-2012, 05:51 PM
oops Sorry Sir Nigel.... Two for the price of one

The warning came down from on high




There was a fat lady called Brenda
who lived in a house round the bend. A

woozy
11-02-2012, 08:17 PM
The warning came down from on high
"I don't care what you do with the pie,




There was a fat lady called Brenda
who lived in a house round the bend. A
mackeral named Stanley

StephanieFox
11-03-2012, 05:24 AM
The warning came down from on high
"I don't care what you do with the pie,
but be sure that the stew

Nymtoc
11-03-2012, 07:04 AM
The warning came down from on high
"I don't care what you do with the pie,
but be sure that the stew
Isn't tainted with foo


There was a fat lady called Brenda
who lived in a house round the bend. A
mackeral named Stanley
Though he would act manly

woozy
11-03-2012, 07:37 AM
The warning came down from on high
"I don't care what you do with the pie,
but be sure that the stew
Isn't tainted with foo
For surely that's a good way to die


There was a fat lady called Brenda
who lived in a house round the bend. A
mackeral named Stanley
Thought he would act manly
And pressed upon her his agenda

My murders outnumber my maimings

annetpfeffer
11-03-2012, 08:26 AM
My murders outnumber my maimings
There's outrage and cries and exclaimings

Nymtoc
11-03-2012, 08:52 AM
My murders outnumber my maimings
There's outrage and cries and exclaimings
But me, I just smile

flyingtart
11-03-2012, 04:31 PM
My murders outnumber my maimings
There's outrage and cries and exclaimings
But me, I just smile
And in a short while

annetpfeffer
11-03-2012, 04:37 PM
My murders outnumber my maimings
There's outrage and cries and exclaimings
But me, I just smile
And in a short while
They cease and desist with their blamings.



For any trap, I can escape

Nymtoc
11-03-2012, 09:26 PM
For any trap, I can escape
I'm clever at changing my shape

annetpfeffer
11-04-2012, 01:21 AM
For any trap, I can escape
I'm clever at changing my shape
Just try to confine me

Ketzel
11-04-2012, 01:45 AM
For any trap, I can escape [Should this be "From" rather than "For?"]
I'm clever at changing my shape
Just try to confine me
Entwine me, enshrine me

woozy
11-04-2012, 02:47 AM
For any trap, I can escape
I'm clever at changing my shape
Just try to confine me
Entwine me, enshrine me
Or stuff me inside of a crepe,

When you return you will find that I'm gone

Nymtoc
11-04-2012, 03:06 AM
For any trap, I can escape [Should this be "From" rather than "For?"]


If "for" is a preposition, "from" would certainly seem better there. But "for" could be construed as as a conjunction, following the previous limerick, which almost makes sense--sort of. Anyway, we've moved on. :D

When you return I will be gone

annetpfeffer
11-04-2012, 06:03 AM
As the author of "For any trap, I can escape," I'll settle the debate. It should have been "from."


When you return I will be gone
I found our affair quite a yawn

Nymtoc
11-04-2012, 07:01 AM
When you return I will be gone
I found our affair quite a yawn
I met someone cool

annetpfeffer
11-04-2012, 07:21 AM
When you return I will be gone
I found our affair quite a yawn
I met someone cool
And you are the fool

woozy
11-04-2012, 07:43 AM
When you return I will be gone
I found our affair quite a yawn
I met someone cool
And you are the fool
For you were just merely my pawn

Bach's seventy-eighth Cantata

annetpfeffer
11-04-2012, 07:55 AM
Bach's seventy-eighth Cantata
I haven't yet learned but I oughta

woozy
11-04-2012, 08:04 AM
Bach's seventy-eighth Cantata
I haven't yet learned but I oughta
Wir eilen mit schwachen

Nymtoc
11-04-2012, 08:31 AM
Bach's seventy-eighth Cantata
I haven't yet learned but I oughta
Wir eilen mit schwachen
Makes some people lachen

woozy
11-04-2012, 09:27 AM
Bach's seventy-eighth Cantata
I haven't yet learned but I oughta
Wir eilen mit schwachen
Makes some people lachen
Or so says my cousin Renate

In Leipzig, the folks come a flockin'
'cause ol' Bach, his music is rockin'!
see Hans and Renate
do the 7-8 Cantata
and sing Wir Eilen mit Schwachen

Oh, I'm supposed to let other people have a turn?

Okay, here we go:

The Lion is eating my foot off

Nymtoc
11-04-2012, 12:02 PM
The lion is eating my foot off
And honesty, I'm a bit put off

woozy
11-04-2012, 12:27 PM
The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps inconsiderate

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 03:10 AM
Sorry, Woozy, but there are limits...


The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less

woozy
11-05-2012, 03:21 AM
Sorry, Woozy, but there are limits...

What? its-per-HAPS-in-con-SID-er-ate is perfectly acceptable!


The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less
better than a diet ever could have

An immoral and evil amoeba

Nymtoc
11-05-2012, 03:43 AM
The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less
better than a diet ever could have

An immoral and evil amoeba

1. Annetpfeffer is right in making her substitution. The point of working together on these limericks is not to give the next player a word that is difficult and/or impossible to rhyme. We get better results when we give each other words that lead to responses that--even if they require bending the language--at least do so with wit. Playing tricks on the next person should not be part of this game.

2. The fifth line, above, doesn't rhyme, either. It's the sort of forced effort that results from a difficult rhyme ("foot off") at the start. In this historic thread we have always tried to write good, neat, clever, amusing verses that follow the strict rules of limerick writing. Limericks are a minor form of art, but art nevertheless. :flamethrower
The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less
I'm cleaning my old shotgun's soot off.

An immoral and evil amoeba
Said 'Hi' to the young Queen of Sheba

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 04:30 AM
Ditto on what Nymtoc just said. Hard rhymes are fun, but there should at least a few possible rhymes and near rhymes in existence.


An immoral and evil amoeba
Said 'Hi' to the young Queen of Sheba
He entered her system

woozy
11-05-2012, 04:46 AM
leonid vertibrate is an acceptable rhyme for inconsiderate. As for forced rhymes... The enjoyment and art of the limerick derives from forcing unusual and clever and strange concepts that would never be accepted in more serious poetry. For example annetpfeffer's "Bend, a" to rhyme with Brenda. It's a beautiful rhyme because it is off beat and bends the rules but doesn't break them. Any limerick that doesn't push the envelope isn't trying hard enough.

2. The fifth line, above, doesn't rhyme, either.

Depends on your accent and the amount of forcing. I'd call it a California Assonance.
However "soot off" was pretty good.

An immoral and evil amoeba
Said 'Hi' to the young Queen of Sheba
He entered her system
And chose in his wisdom

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 05:19 AM
Sweetie, invertebrate does not rhyme with inconsiderate.

The reason "bend. A" works with "Brenda," is because it's a perfect rhyme. So in that sense, it breaks no rules.

We're just trying to have fun here. I like the fact that you're playing around with things. I liked maimings and other hard rhymes you came up with. But "inconsiderate" was just too hard, that's all.

No worries. I'm no expert on this stuff and no else needs to be either.



An orangutan nicknamed Hortense

Nymtoc
11-05-2012, 06:08 AM
"We're just trying to have fun here." Right, Anne :D

Meanwhile, the last limerick didn't get finished. So:

An immoral and evil amoeba
Said 'Hi' to the young Queen of Sheba
He entered her system
And chose in his wisdom
To say, "By the way, my name's Reba."

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence

Pthom
11-05-2012, 06:12 AM
Now, now, kids: No fighting, no biting. Let's take a look at the most recent altercation.

What? its-per-HAPS-in-con-SID-er-ate is perfectly acceptable! The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less
better than a diet ever could haveHere's the problem with Woozy's attempt, and it has nothing to do with rhyming...it's that the meter is off. Or, rather, that there are too many syllables after the final stressed beat.



2. The fifth line, above, doesn't rhyme, either. It's the sort of forced effort that results from a difficult rhyme ("foot off") at the start. In this historic thread we have always tried to write good, neat, clever, amusing verses that follow the strict rules of limerick writing. Limericks are a minor form of art, but art nevertheless. :flamethrower
The lion is eating my foot off
And honestly, I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps a bit thoughtless
But now that I've got less
I'm cleaning my old shotgun's soot off.Actually, in some vernaculars, the term "could have" is pronounced "could've" with the "-'ve" part sounding a LOT like of. But that still doesn't rhyme with off. And, if y'all wanna get picky, the three long lines of this limerick not only rhyme (in Nymtoc's version) but are exactly the same word! That's pretty much a no-no, too, given that creativity demands otherwise. I can think of several words that rhyme with "off" that are different: Nabokov is one that comes to mind. ;)


leonid vertibrate is an acceptable rhyme for inconsiderate. As far as simple rhyme is concerned, yes. -rate rhymes with -rate. If the meter worked, the two words would be perfectly acceptable...at least as much so as three "off"s in a row. ;)
art[/I] of the limerick derives from forcing unusual and clever and strange concepts that would never be accepted in more serious poetry. For example annetpfeffer's "Bend, a" to rhyme with Brenda. It's a beautiful rhyme because it is off beat and bends the rules but doesn't break them. Any limerick that doesn't push the envelope isn't trying hard enough.Yes, to a point. The primary purpose of limerick is to be humorous and perhaps a bit bawdy, while conforming to a rather rigid set of rhyme scheme and meter rules. To force participants to fall out of that conformity is really not good sportsmanship in THIS game.
2. The fifth line, above, doesn't rhyme, either.

Depends on your accent and the amount of forcing. I'd call it a California Assonance. Yes, but again, only under duress. See my comment above.
And chose in his wisdom[/QUOTE]


Sweetie, invertebrate does not rhyme with inconsiderate. Well, actually, the two words can rhyme. See my comment above.
We're just trying to have fun here. Absolutely.


An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
eh? What's this? What happened to the end of the limerick extant?

An immoral and evil amoeba
Said 'Hi' to the young Queen of Sheba
He entered her system
And chose in his wisdom
To pick all the blooms from a Ceiba.

(Now THERE is a perfect, if somewhat obscure, rhyme!)

I nicknamed my car Hortense Shmidlap.

Nymtoc
11-05-2012, 06:29 AM
And, if y'all wanna get picky, the three long lines of this limerick not only rhyme (in Nymtoc's version) but are exactly the same word! That's pretty much a no-no, too, given that creativity demands otherwise. I can think of several words that rhyme with "off" that are different: Nabokov is one that comes to mind. ;)


I think we have two different philosophies about rhyme here. I suspect that one philosophy is no better than the other, so feel free to take your choice. Pthom says that ending two (or three) lines with the same word is a no-no. In contrast, I have always believed that, when you have end-rhymes consisting of two words where the accent is on the first word, that first word must be rhymed and the second word must stay the same.

I suspect the twain shall never meet. So take your choice, and let's proceed in the spirit of Annetpfeffer's wise words: "We're just trying to have fun here." :D

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 06:41 AM
An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
She's so gosh-darned hairy

woozy
11-05-2012, 06:48 AM
Actually, in some vernaculars, the term "could have" is pronounced "could've" with the "-'ve" part sounding a LOT like of. But that still doesn't rhyme with off. And, if y'all wanna get picky, the three long lines of this limerick not only rhyme (in Nymtoc's version) but are exactly the same word! That's pretty much a no-no, too, given that creativity demands otherwise. I can think of several words that rhyme with "off" that are different: Nabokov is one that comes to mind. ;)


Actually, Nimtoc is right on this one. As the stressed syllable is "foot" the rhyme must rhyme with "foot off". I.E. "put off" (which is hilarious) and "soot off" (which is good, although a little softly than "foot off"). "Could have" *is* forced but in my opinion acceptably so as people *do* pronounce it as "could of" which in turn could be prounounced (as in the Major General Song) be made to sound like "Kodov" to rhyme with "Foot off" when made to sound like "Fotov". Acceptable, in my opinion, but forced, but acceptable *if* clever enough.

However I'd say Nimtoc is not up to his normal form with rhyming Hortence with My fence. The stress is wrong and it should rhyme with -ortence. (As in the great Tom Lear line "As the judge remarked the day that he acquited my Aunt Hortence, to be smut it must be ut-terly without redeaming social importence"). Then again, we've *all* done much worse here at times.

Oh, yeah. The last line. I *really* wanted to make a joke out of losing weight by having a lion eating your foot off. The best rhyme for "foot off" I could come up with was something like "I lost more weight than a diet would 'of'" which I thought would be *damned* funny and thus acceptable. *Except* finding something that fit meter, syntactically made sense, and ended with "w/could have" was damned near impossible. I accept that my last line didn't make it.


So anyway.....

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
[actually when I say it aloud it sounds better than it reads silently. As would my "could have" if said aloud...]

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
I worry about damage

I nicknamed my car Hortense Shmidlap
[Shmidlap... now THERE'S a toughie!]

I nicknamed my car Hortense Shmidlap
I used it just once in a kid-nap

Ketzel
11-05-2012, 07:22 AM
I'm with Nymtoc on the rhyme scheme and with Woozy on the challenge - thus:

A lion is eating my foot off
And honestly I'm a bit put off
It's perhaps inconsiderate
Burning a bit of it
And not even blowing the soot off

[But I am confused by the state of the next limerick...]

woozy
11-05-2012, 07:41 AM
It's perhaps inconsiderate
Burning a bit of it

NICE! (although I'm a bit confused about how we got from eating a foot to burning a foot...)

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
She's so gosh-darned hairy
But not very scary

I nicknamed my car Hortense Shmidlap
I used it just once in a kid-nap



An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
She's so gosh-darned hairy

Ketzel
11-05-2012, 07:49 AM
It's perhaps inconsiderate
Burning a bit of it

NICE! (although I'm a bit confused about how we got from eating a foot to burning a foot...)
Well, you didn't think the lion was eating it raw, did you? Oh, wait ... :-)

An orangutan nicknamed Hortense
Likes to swing back and forth on my fence
She's so gosh-darned hairy
But not very scary
Except when she's playing defense

The end of the year's coming fast

woozy
11-05-2012, 07:57 AM
The end of the year's coming fast
So consider events of the past

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 10:23 AM
The end of the year's coming fast
So consider events of the past
The debates are completed



PS Woozy, I came up with one close to perfect rhyme for inconsiderate, which is illiterate. But I think it's the only one.

woozy
11-05-2012, 09:07 PM
The end of the year's coming fast
So consider events of the past
The debates are completed
My credulity's depleted

annetpfeffer
11-05-2012, 09:30 PM
The end of the year's coming fast
So consider events of the past
The debates are completed
My credulity's depleted
Tomorrow the votes will be cast.




I heard a mysterious voice

woozy
11-05-2012, 09:40 PM
I heard a mysterious voice
It told me that I had a choice

Pthom
11-06-2012, 03:15 AM
I heard a mysterious voice
It told me that I had a choice
I could make things hard

woozy
11-06-2012, 06:10 AM
I heard a mysterious voice
It told me that I had a choice
I could make things hard
Or I could go for the lard

annetpfeffer
11-06-2012, 07:04 AM
I heard a mysterious voice
It told me that I had a choice
I could make things hard
Or I could go for the lard
This rhyme makes no sense-- like James Joyce.



The stable boy gave me the eye

woozy
11-06-2012, 07:50 AM
This rhyme makes no sense-- like James Joyce.

Oh, it could have... maybe a schizophrenic pastry chef was deciding on hard or soft cookies. Or maybe it was some lard fetishist. or....



The stable boy gave me the eye
and invited me to romp in the rye

annetpfeffer
11-07-2012, 12:18 AM
The stable boy gave me the eye
and asked me to romp in the rye
I first checked him out

Matera the Mad
11-07-2012, 08:29 AM
The stable boy gave me the eye
and asked me to romp in the rye
I first checked him out
And -- oh boy -- what a lout!

Pthom
11-07-2012, 12:38 PM
The stable boy gave me the eye
and asked me to romp in the rye
I first checked him out
And -- oh boy -- what a lout! too many syllables
His thumb was plumb stuck in a pie.

Jack Horner a messenger was

Sir_Nigel
11-07-2012, 01:09 PM
Jack Horner a messenger was
And he sounded like Yoda because….?

annetpfeffer
11-07-2012, 06:30 PM
Jack Horner a messenger was
And he sounded like Yoda because….?
His voice was so deep

woozy
11-07-2012, 09:09 PM
Jack Horner a messenger was
And he sounded like Yoda because….?
His voice was so deep
And he talked in his sleep

iLion
11-07-2012, 10:16 PM
Jack Horner a messenger was
And he sounded like Yoda because….?
His voice was so deep
And he talked in his sleep
And had thoughts that were fuzzy as fuzz.

I've had it, I'm done, and I'm through!

archerjoe
11-07-2012, 10:36 PM
I've had it, I'm done, and I'm through!
With politics, red, white or blue

Pthom
11-07-2012, 10:59 PM
I've had it, I'm done, and I'm through!
With politics, red, white or blue
Next year, I'm gonna

woozy
11-07-2012, 11:40 PM
I've had it, I'm done, and I'm through!
With politics, red, white or blue
Next year, I'm gonna
Smoke marijuana

annetpfeffer
11-08-2012, 02:41 AM
I've had it, I'm done, and I'm through!
With politics, red, white or blue
Next year, I am gonna
Ingest marijuana.
Reality -- I say adieu!




The gentleman rode a fine horse

woozy
11-08-2012, 05:28 AM
The gentleman rode a fine horse
to swoop down on peasants, of course

annetpfeffer
11-08-2012, 06:24 PM
The gentleman rode a fine horse
to swoop down on peasants, of course
He galloped through town

kellysaid
11-08-2012, 07:03 PM
The gentleman rode a fine horse
to swoop down on peasants, of course
He galloped through town
with sparkling gold gown

Sir_Nigel
11-08-2012, 07:31 PM
The gentleman rode a fine horse
to swoop down on peasants, of course
He galloped through town
with sparkling gold gown
- the cause of his recent divorce.




They went for a stroll on the shore

Nymtoc
11-08-2012, 08:04 PM
They went for a stroll on the shore,
The pimp and his classiest whore,

Lavern08
11-08-2012, 08:22 PM
They went for a stroll on the shore,
The pimp and his classiest whore,
But Sandy went too