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alexaherself
09-03-2012, 04:18 PM
I ran and hid under the bed
But the bonging still rang in my head
I'd had quite enough

archerjoe
09-03-2012, 05:48 PM
I ran and hid under the bed
But the bonging still rang in my head
I'd had quite enough
'Cause I ain't so tough

Nymtoc
09-03-2012, 07:11 PM
I ran and hid under the bed
But the bonging still rang in my head
I'd had quite enough
'Cause I ain't so tough
And I'd rather be chicken than dead.

The next day I laughed at my fright

kenthepen
09-03-2012, 08:31 PM
The next day I laughed at my fright
But the visions still haunt me at night

alexaherself
09-03-2012, 09:57 PM
The next day I laughed at my fright
But the visions still haunt me at night
Those clocks are quite big

StephanieFox
09-04-2012, 02:13 AM
The next day I laughed at my fright
But the visions still haunt me at night
Those clocks are quite big
Like a thousand pound pig

kenthepen
09-04-2012, 06:35 AM
The next day I laughed at my fright
But the visions still haunt me at night
Those clocks are so big
Like a thousand pound pig
And those knife-edged hands gleam in the light

For the tale that he told to be true

StephanieFox
09-04-2012, 06:45 AM
For the tale that he told to be true
Was just lies – ones that everyone knew

Nymtoc
09-04-2012, 11:15 AM
For the tale that he told to be true
Was just lies – ones that everyone knew
He thought he was cool

alexaherself
09-04-2012, 07:30 PM
For the tale that he told to be true
Was just lies – ones that everyone knew
He thought he was cool
But was only a fool

kenthepen
09-04-2012, 08:25 PM
For the tale that he told to be true
Was just lies- ones that everyone knew
He thought he was cool
But was only a fool
And a child one could eas'ly see through

If elephants learned how to knit

iLion
09-04-2012, 09:01 PM
If elephants learned how to knit
At the zoo it would be a big hit

archerjoe
09-04-2012, 09:05 PM
If elephants learned how to knit
At the zoo it would be a big hit
Trunk warmers galore

iLion
09-04-2012, 09:21 PM
If elephants learned how to knit
At the zoo it would be a big hit
Trunk warmers galore
Tusk covers and more

StephanieFox
09-04-2012, 09:45 PM
If elephants learned how to knit
At the zoo it would be a big hit
Trunk warmers galore
Tusk covers and more
But it's doubtful that these things would fit.


I was scared to look under my chair

kenthepen
09-04-2012, 11:15 PM
I was scared to look under my chair
From whence emanate sounds of a bear

Nymtoc
09-05-2012, 02:47 AM
I was scared to look under my chair
From whence emanate sounds of a bear
So I sat very still

Iggy58
09-05-2012, 03:36 AM
I was scared to look under my chair
From whence emanate sounds of a bear
So I sat very still
though I felt quite a chill

StephanieFox
09-05-2012, 04:29 AM
I was scared to look under my chair
From whence emanate sounds of a bear
So I sat very still
though I felt quite a chill
From the silky white polar bear hair.*

(Yes, I know that polar bear hair is technically transparent, but that wouldn't rhyme.)


I stood by the fridge in the kitchen

kenthepen
09-05-2012, 06:50 AM
I stood by the fridge in the kitchen
And I listened to all my wife's bitchin'

StephanieFox
09-05-2012, 09:00 AM
I stood by the fridge in the kitchen
And I listened to all my wife's bitchin'
But, she might have a point

Nymtoc
09-05-2012, 09:18 AM
I stood by the fridge in the kitchen
And I listened to all my wife's bitchin'
But, she might have a point
If I'd clean up the joint

Sir_Nigel
09-05-2012, 11:30 AM
I stood by the fridge in the kitchen
And I listened to all my wife's bitchin'
But, she might have a point
If I'd clean up the joint
the bugs in my hair might stop itchin’


A large bosomed lady named Jenny

annetpfeffer
09-05-2012, 11:56 AM
A large bosomed lady named Jenny
Was renowned all the way to Kilkenny

Nymtoc
09-05-2012, 12:50 PM
A large bosomed lady named Jenny
Was renowned all the way to Kilkenny
Her awesome dimensions

Iggy58
09-05-2012, 04:08 PM
A large bosomed lady named Jenny
Was renowned all the way to Kilkenny
Her awesome dimensions
required some extensions

Sir_Nigel
09-05-2012, 05:50 PM
A large bosomed lady named Jenny
Was renowned all the way to Kilkenny
Her awesome dimensions
required some extensions
but she'd give you a flash for a penny.



'You can't leave your elephant there'

alexaherself
09-05-2012, 06:10 PM
'You can't leave your elephant there'
Said the doorman, while combing his hair,

iLion
09-05-2012, 08:23 PM
'You can't leave your elephant there'
Said the doorman, while combing his hair,
He'll stink up the place

alexaherself
09-05-2012, 09:50 PM
'You can't leave your elephant there'
Said the doorman, while combing his hair,
He'll stink up the place
It'll be a disgrace

kenthepen
09-06-2012, 01:25 AM
'You can't leave your elephant there,'
Said the doorman, while combing his hair
'He'll stink up the place
It'll be a disgrace
Regulations say "smaller than bear"'

If marsupials played at a sport

alexaherself
09-06-2012, 02:43 AM
If marsupials played at a sport
They might not quite need to be taught

kenthepen
09-06-2012, 04:45 AM
If marsupials played at a sport
They might not quite need to be taught
whether catching in pouches

StephanieFox
09-06-2012, 05:23 AM
If marsupials played at a sport
They might not quite need to be taught
whether catching in pouches
or sitting on couches

Matera the Mad
09-06-2012, 07:26 AM
If marsupials played at a sport
They might not quite need to be taught
whether catching in pouches
or sitting on couches
They just naturally do what they ought.


Now if I had a bright silver dollar

Nymtoc
09-06-2012, 07:35 AM
Now if I had a bright silver dollar
I'd use it to help out a scholar

kenthepen
09-06-2012, 08:22 AM
Now if I had a bright shiny dollar
I'd use it to help out a scholar
Pull it out of his ear

Nymtoc
09-06-2012, 08:33 AM
Now if I had a bright shiny dollar
I'd use it to help out a scholar
Pull it out of his ear
Drop it into his beer

alexaherself
09-06-2012, 02:00 PM
Now if I had a bright shiny dollar
I'd use it to help out a scholar
Pull it out of his ear
Drop it into his beer
And produce it from under his collar



The first lines just don't often scan,

Sir_Nigel
09-06-2012, 04:26 PM
The first lines just don't often scan,
Then call for The Limerick Man

annetpfeffer
09-06-2012, 07:25 PM
The first lines just don't often scan,
Then call for The Limerick Man
His meter's sublime

kenthepen
09-06-2012, 08:37 PM
The first lines just don't often scan
Then call for the Limerick Man
His meter's sublime
Though I question his rhyme

talkwrite
09-06-2012, 08:55 PM
The first lines just don't often scan
Then call for the Limerick Man
His meter's sublime
Though I question his rhyme
I'm sure that's all part of his plan.

He knows when you've not been writing

kenthepen
09-06-2012, 09:33 PM
He knows it when you've not been writing
And before long your ass he'll be biting

Nymtoc
09-07-2012, 01:13 AM
He knows it when you've not been writing
And before long your ass he'll be biting
Unless you advance

kenthepen
09-07-2012, 05:00 AM
He knows it when you've not been writing
And before long your ass he'll be biting
Unless you advance
He'll view you askance

Sir_Nigel
09-07-2012, 12:28 PM
He knows it when you've not been writing
And before long your ass he'll be biting
Unless you advance
He'll view you askance
Which is scary but also exciting


He’s a fella you never should cross

annetpfeffer
09-07-2012, 02:48 PM
He’s a fella you never should cross
Especially when he's on the sauce

Iggy58
09-07-2012, 04:19 PM
He’s a fella you never should cross
Especially when he's on the sauce
for his language turns blue

alexaherself
09-07-2012, 06:55 PM
He’s a fella you never should cross
Especially when he's on the sauce
For his language turns blue
Or that kind of hue

annetpfeffer
09-07-2012, 07:48 PM
He’s a fella you never should cross
Especially when he's on the sauce
For his language turns blue
Or that kind of hue
that suggests that he's going to toss.


My maiden aunt Monica Sue

kenthepen
09-07-2012, 07:52 PM
My maiden aunt Monica Sue
Could regurgitate Shakespeare on cue

iLion
09-07-2012, 08:46 PM
My maiden aunt Monica Sue
Could regurgitate Shakespeare on cue.
She's a big drama queen

Nymtoc
09-07-2012, 09:26 PM
My maiden aunt Monica Sue
Could regurgitate Shakespeare on cue.
She's a big drama queen
Wears faux pearls and sateen

Pthom
09-07-2012, 09:33 PM
My maiden aunt Monica Sue
Could regurgitate Shakespeare on cue.
She's a big drama queen
Wears faux pearls and sateen
And she cooks up her breakfast with glue.

In two weeks, this summer will end

Nymtoc
09-07-2012, 11:06 PM
In two weeks, this summer will end
I wish I could make it extend

StephanieFox
09-08-2012, 04:17 AM
In two weeks, this summer will end
I wish I could make it extend
For although I love autumn

kenthepen
09-08-2012, 04:47 AM
In two weeks, this summer will end
I wish I could make it extend
For although I love Autumn
Summer clothes? I just bought 'em!

Iggy58
09-08-2012, 06:07 AM
In two weeks, this summer will end
I wish I could make it extend
For although I love Autumn
Summer clothes? I just bought 'em!
Guess I'll start a new fall fashion trend.

My aunt Bertha played sang sweet and low blues

kenthepen
09-08-2012, 06:14 AM
My Aunt Bertha sang sweet and low blues
'Cause she's been out of sugar since Tues.

Nymtoc
09-08-2012, 06:27 AM
My Aunt Bertha sang sweet and low blues
'Cause she's been out of sugar since Tues.
And she hates to see

kenthepen
09-08-2012, 06:41 AM
My Aunt Bertha sang sweet and low blues
'Cause she ran out of sugar on Tues.
And she hates to see
How bad coffee can be

Nymtoc
09-08-2012, 07:26 AM
My Aunt Bertha sang sweet and low blues
'Cause she ran out of sugar on Tues.
And she hates to see
How bad coffee can be
So these days she only drinks booze.

There's nothing as good as hot chili

alexaherself
09-08-2012, 02:38 PM
There's nothing as good as hot chili
And not much that's even as silly

kenthepen
09-08-2012, 10:53 PM
There's nothing as good as hot chili
And not much that's even as silly
For removal of rust

alexaherself
09-08-2012, 10:57 PM
There's nothing as good as hot chili
And not much that's even as silly
For removal of rust
And dissolving the dust

kenthepen
09-08-2012, 11:00 PM
There's nothing as good as hot chili
And not much that's even as silly
For removal of rust
And dissolving the dust
If you lick it all off willy-nilly

If your plumbing is leaky, be sure

alexaherself
09-08-2012, 11:01 PM
If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor

Nymtoc
09-08-2012, 11:41 PM
If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor
So get a big sponge

alexaherself
09-09-2012, 12:31 AM
If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor
So get a big sponge
And soak up the grunge

talkwrite
09-09-2012, 12:32 AM
If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor
So get a big sponge
And learn how to lunge

Nymtoc
09-09-2012, 01:01 AM
So we got us another two-fer! :D


If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor
So get a big sponge
And soak up the grunge
And stuff old rags under the door.

If your plumbing is leaky, be sure
That you don't soak the whole bathroom floor
So get a big sponge
And learn how to lunge
And lunge again, then lunge some more.


"My goodness!" said Polly. "It's late!"

kenthepen
09-09-2012, 01:08 AM
"My goodness!" said Polly, "It's late!
And if I don't get home from this date

Nymtoc
09-09-2012, 05:51 AM
"My goodness!" said Polly, "It's late!
And if I don't get home from this date
My mom will get mad

kenthepen
09-09-2012, 05:59 AM
"My goodness!" said Polly, "It's late!
And if I don't get home from this date
My mom will get mad
And I'll wake up my dad

Nymtoc
09-09-2012, 06:11 AM
"My goodness!" said Polly, "It's late!
And if I don't get home from this date
My mom will get mad
And I'll wake up my dad
And they'll ground me again. What a fate!"

In a shack near the bank of a river

kenthepen
09-09-2012, 06:33 AM
In a shack near the bank of a river
Lives the world's most renowned noogie-giver

Nymtoc
09-09-2012, 09:17 AM
In a shack near the bank of a river
Lives the world's most renowned noogie-giver
If you wander that way

alexaherself
09-09-2012, 03:27 PM
In a shack near the bank of a river
Lives the world's most renowned noogie-giver
If you wander that way
You might want to stay

Nymtoc
09-09-2012, 05:33 PM
In a shack near the bank of a river
Lives the world's most renowned noogie-giver
If you wander that way
You might want to stay
But he'll noogie you down to your liver.

Ten cents doesn't buy very much

Iggy58
09-09-2012, 11:16 PM
Ten cents doesn't buy very much
Just bubblegum, candy and such

Lavern08
09-10-2012, 12:42 AM
Ten cents doesn't buy very much
Just bubblegum, candy and such
But I am quite thrifty

Nymtoc
09-10-2012, 01:07 AM
Ten cents doesn't buy very much
Just bubblegum, candy and such
But I am quite thrifty
And Jujubes are nifty

Lavern08
09-10-2012, 01:12 AM
Ten cents doesn't buy very much
Just bubblegum, candy and such
But I am quite thrifty
And Jujubes are nifty
And I have that ole midas touch.

Don't make me come up there, said Dad

StephanieFox
09-10-2012, 04:45 AM
Don't make me come up there, said Dad.
I'm armed with a gun and I'm mad.

Zeddo
09-10-2012, 05:56 AM
Don't make me come up there, said Dad.
I'm armed with a gun and I'm mad.
Now turn off the TV

alexaherself
09-10-2012, 07:14 PM
Don't make me come up there, said Dad.
I'm armed with a gun and I'm mad.
Now turn off the TV
And maybe we'll see

iLion
09-10-2012, 08:58 PM
Don't make me come up there, said Dad.
I'm armed with a gun and I'm mad.
Now turn off the TV
And maybe we'll see
Just how many 'Fs that you've had!

My teacher is such a distraction

Nymtoc
09-10-2012, 09:06 PM
My teacher is such a distraction
We have an uplifting reaction

iLion
09-10-2012, 09:30 PM
My teacher is such a distraction,
We have an uplifting reaction.
The guys all have fits

Zeddo
09-11-2012, 02:29 AM
My teacher is such a distraction,
We have an uplifting reaction.
The guys all have fits
When they spot her...er...bits

StephanieFox
09-11-2012, 05:09 AM
My teacher is such a distraction,
We have an uplifting reaction.
The guys all have fits
When they spot her...er...bits
If she knew, we'd all end up in traction.



I can't find the thing that I need

Nymtoc
09-11-2012, 09:58 AM
I can't find the thing that I need
I need it to keep up to speed

Sir_Nigel
09-11-2012, 11:30 AM
I can't find the thing that I need
I need it to keep up to speed
Do you need it too?

alexaherself
09-11-2012, 01:25 PM
I can't find the thing that I need
I need it to keep up to speed
Do you need it too?
I suspect that you do

Sir_Nigel
09-11-2012, 02:39 PM
I can't find the thing that I need
I need it to keep up to speed
Do you need it too?
I suspect that you do
It’s a much cherished thingy indeed.


I wonder what that was about

alexaherself
09-11-2012, 05:53 PM
I wonder what that was about
But maybe we'll never find out

Nymtoc
09-12-2012, 12:33 AM
I wonder what that was about
But maybe we'll never find out
But then, if we do,

talkwrite
09-12-2012, 02:20 AM
I wonder what that was about
But maybe we'll never find out
But then, if we do,
We'll shout Balleyhoo!

StephanieFox
09-12-2012, 03:20 AM
I wonder what that was about
But maybe we'll never find out
But then, if we do,
We'll shout Balleyhoo!
Or we'll sit in the corner and pout.



The damned Emperor Norton is gone

Nymtoc
09-12-2012, 04:04 AM
The damned Emperor Norton is gone
But his mem'ry will always live on

StephanieFox
09-12-2012, 06:19 AM
The damned Emperor Norton is gone
But his mem'ry will always live on
He spent all of his days

Sir_Nigel
09-12-2012, 11:29 AM
The damned Emperor Norton is gone
But his mem'ry will always live on
He spent all of his days
in a whisky-soaked haze

iLion
09-12-2012, 08:39 PM
The damned Emperor Norton is gone
But his mem'ry will always live on
He spent all of his days
in a whisky-soaked haze
Now he's buried out back on the lawn.

And a colorful ruler he was

Nymtoc
09-12-2012, 11:03 PM
And a colorful ruler he was
His subjects adored him because

alexaherself
09-13-2012, 12:44 AM
And a colorful ruler he was
His subjects adored him because
He gave them fresh soup

Zeddo
09-13-2012, 01:02 AM
And a colorful ruler he was
His subjects adored him because
He gave them fresh soup
And ice cream by the scoop

alexaherself
09-13-2012, 01:07 AM
And a colorful ruler he was
His subjects adored him because
He gave them fresh soup
And ice cream by the scoop
And free tickets for "Wizard Of Oz".


The only way out is inside

talkwrite
09-13-2012, 03:31 AM
The only way out is inside
Yet, that's just where we go to hide

alexaherself
09-13-2012, 03:55 AM
The only way out is inside
Yet, that's just where we go to hide
The truth's in the heart

StephanieFox
09-13-2012, 04:00 AM
The only way out is inside
Yet, that's just where we go to hide
The truth's in the heart
But, since we're not that smart

alexaherself
09-13-2012, 04:02 AM
The only way out is inside
Yet, that's just where we go to hide
The truth's in the heart
But, since we're not that smart
It's taken us all for a ride.



In South Ecuador there's a town

Nymtoc
09-13-2012, 04:33 AM
In South Ecuador there's a town
Whose citizens think up is down

Zeddo
09-13-2012, 10:55 AM
In South Ecuador there's a town
Whose citizens think up is down
So they stand on their heads

Sir_Nigel
09-13-2012, 12:31 PM
In South Ecuador there's a town
Whose citizens think up is down
So they stand on their heads
And sleep under beds

sprogspasser
09-13-2012, 12:54 PM
In South Ecuador there's a town
Whose citizens think up is down
So they stand on their heads
And sleep under beds
And upside down is painted the smile of the clown

The sun was shining bright

Nymtoc
09-13-2012, 02:41 PM
The sun shone exceedingly bright* (*meter)

sprogspasser
09-13-2012, 07:45 PM
The sun shone exceedingly bright* (*meter)
Nymtoc was busy making limericks start right

Nymtoc
09-13-2012, 08:35 PM
The sun shone exceedingly bright
Nymtoc worked making limericks right
But sprogspasser said

Lavern08
09-13-2012, 11:20 PM
The sun shone exceedingly bright
Nymtoc worked making limericks right
But Sprogspasser said
Jim Henson is dead

Nymtoc
09-13-2012, 11:26 PM
The sun shone exceedingly bright
Nymtoc worked making limericks right
But Sprogspasser said
Jim Henson is dead
And Lavern is as high as a kite.

'Tis more than a person can stand

Lavern08
09-13-2012, 11:30 PM
'Tis more than a person can stand
Politicians all over the land

alexaherself
09-14-2012, 01:55 AM
'Tis more than a person can stand
Politicians all over the land
The system's to blame

talkwrite
09-14-2012, 02:02 AM
'Tis more than a person can stand
Politicians all over the land
The system's to blame
With power to gain

Ketzel
09-14-2012, 02:09 AM
'Tis more than a person can stand
Politicians all over the land
The system's to blame
With power to gain
Not to mention the money at hand.

It doesn't come easy at all

alexaherself
09-14-2012, 02:59 AM
It doesn't come easy at all
To wrap yourself up in a shawl

Zeddo
09-14-2012, 06:16 AM
It doesn't come easy at all
To wrap yourself up in a shawl
And then shake your booty

sprogspasser
09-14-2012, 11:11 AM
It doesn't come easy at all
To wrap yourself up in a shawl
And then shake your booty
While owls clap their wings and go hoot, hoot, hootie

Sir_Nigel
09-14-2012, 11:50 AM
It doesn't come easy at all
To wrap yourself up in a shawl
And then shake your booty
While owls go hootie
It could end in a blood-splattered brawl

I think it’s a good time to say
That limericks go only one way
You may think it’s fine
to write any old line
but don’t go adrift or astray


The fella sez stick to the plan

sprogspasser
09-14-2012, 12:38 PM
The fella sez stick to the plan
While in Italy particulary Milan

alexaherself
09-14-2012, 04:43 PM
The fella sez stick to the plan
While in Italy particulary Milan
They sell cool shoes there

kenthepen
09-14-2012, 08:13 PM
The fella sez stick to the plan
While in Italy particularly in Milan
They sell cool shoes there
Should anyone care

Ketzel
09-14-2012, 08:24 PM
The fella sez stick to the plan
If you happen to be in Milan [adjusted for metre]
They sell cool shoes there
Should anyone care
In beige and in black and in tan

I woke up today feeling old

iLion
09-14-2012, 08:31 PM
I woke up today feeling old
But I'm only a hundred, I'm told

sprogspasser
09-14-2012, 08:56 PM
I woke up today feeling old
But I'm only a hundred, I'm told
A red pill I was given

alexaherself
09-14-2012, 09:32 PM
I woke up today feeling old
But I'm only a hundred, I'm told
A red pill I was given
To town I was driven

Lavern08
09-14-2012, 10:01 PM
I woke up today feeling old
But I'm only a hundred, I'm told
A red pill I was given
To town I was driven
To the man in the hat I was sold

I'll never forget my flame, Tony

Ketzel
09-14-2012, 10:33 PM
I'll never forget my flame, Tony
He would swoon when I made macaroni

sprogspasser
09-14-2012, 10:55 PM
I'll never forget my flame, Tony
He would swoon when I made macaroni
Cheese sauce and noodles

Lavern08
09-14-2012, 11:16 PM
I'll never forget my flame, Tony
He would swoon when I made macaroni
Cheese sauce and noodles
Kits and caboodles

kenthepen
09-14-2012, 11:25 PM
I'll never forget my flame, Tony
He would swoon when I made macaroni
Cheese sauce and noodles
Kits and caboodles
And catfish incredibly bony

LaVern is the sort of a tart

Ketzel
09-14-2012, 11:38 PM
LaVern is the sort of a tart
Who is known for her generous heart

Lavern08
09-14-2012, 11:45 PM
LaVern is the sort of a tart
Who is known for her generous heart
She suffers fools gladly

sprogspasser
09-15-2012, 12:31 AM
LaVern is the sort of a tart
Who is known for her generous heart
She suffers fools gladly
But takes praise badly

talkwrite
09-15-2012, 01:24 AM
LaVern is the sort of a tart
Who is known for her generous heart
She suffers fools gladly
But takes praise badly
She's only perfecting her art

While Shirley, surely draws you in

StephanieFox
09-15-2012, 02:07 AM
While Shirley, surely draws you in
Sizing socks, saving lives with her shin

kenthepen
09-15-2012, 04:13 AM
While Shirley, surely draws you in
Sizing socks, saving lives with her shin
She darns while she sizes

Ketzel
09-15-2012, 06:27 PM
While Shirley, surely draws you in
Sizing socks, saving lives with her shin
She darns while she sizes
And often surmises

Nymtoc
09-15-2012, 10:47 PM
While Shirley, surely draws you in*
Sizing socks, saving lives with her shin
She darns while she sizes
And often surmises
That your life's a cauldron of sin.

*A word from your friendly grouch: The first line above doesn't scan. The beats fall thus: "While SHIRley surLEE draws you IN." Beats are important in a limerick line, not just the number of syllables. :D

I went for a walk in the fog

alexaherself
09-15-2012, 10:56 PM
I went for a walk in the fog
And managed to trip on a log

sprogspasser
09-15-2012, 11:04 PM
I went for a walk in the fog
And managed to trip on a log
I landed in water cold

Ketzel
09-15-2012, 11:14 PM
I went for a walk in the fog
And managed to trip on a log
I landed in water [adjusted for meter]
And screamed for my daughter

alexaherself
09-15-2012, 11:18 PM
I went for a walk in the fog
And managed to trip on a log
I landed in water
And screamed for my daughter
But all I could find was a dog


I crawled to the side of the stream

sprogspasser
09-15-2012, 11:26 PM
I crawled to the side of the stream
It was raining strawberries and cream

Nymtoc
09-16-2012, 12:02 AM
I crawled to the side of the stream
It was raining strawberries and cream
But I wanted cherries

alexaherself
09-16-2012, 12:08 AM
I crawled to the side of the stream
It was raining strawberries and cream
But I wanted cherries
Not any old berries

Zeddo
09-16-2012, 12:25 AM
I crawled to the side of the stream
It was raining strawberries and cream
But I wanted cherries
Not any old berries
I demand what I want in a dream.


My dog speaks Italian and French

StephanieFox
09-16-2012, 03:09 AM
My dog speaks Italian and French
He's a sweetheart, a good dog, a mensch

sprogspasser
09-16-2012, 12:47 PM
My dog speaks Italian and French
He's a sweetheart, a good dog, a mensch
I took him to Spain

alexaherself
09-16-2012, 11:11 PM
My dog speaks Italian and French
He's a sweetheart, a good dog, a mensch
I took him to Spain
But with nothing to gain

sprogspasser
09-17-2012, 02:04 AM
My dog speaks Italian and French
He's a sweetheart, a good dog, a mensch
I took him to Spain
But with nothing to gain
All holiday he sat under a bench

There once was a lady from Delhi

alexaherself
09-17-2012, 02:06 AM
There once was a lady from Delhi
Whose dancing displayed just her belly

sprogspasser
09-17-2012, 02:19 AM
There once was a lady from Delhi
Whose dancing displayed just her belly
Along came a snake charmer

Nymtoc
09-17-2012, 02:45 AM
There once was a lady from Delhi
Whose dancing displayed just her belly
Then came a snake charmer
Who said he'd not harm her

Ketzel
09-17-2012, 03:10 AM
There once was a lady from Delhi
Whose dancing displayed just her belly
Then came a snake charmer
Who said he'd not harm her
And now she is under his spelhi

When John finally finished his book

Nymtoc
09-17-2012, 10:32 AM
When John finally finished his book
He asked me if I'd take a look

alexaherself
09-17-2012, 10:18 PM
When John finally finished his book
He asked me if I'd take a look
I had to decline

Xelebes
09-17-2012, 11:11 PM
When John finally finished his book
He asked me if I'd take a look
I had to decline
Looking at the spine

sprogspasser
09-17-2012, 11:18 PM
When John finally finished his book
He asked me if I'd take a look
I had to decline
Looking at the spine
It said Fishing sans hook

She was only a fisherman's daughter

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 01:04 AM
When John finally finished his book
He asked me if I'd take a look
I had to decline
Looking at the spine
It said Fishing sans hook

:Lecture: Believe me, kiddies, I really don't enjoy being a grouch, but it is my appointed duty to point out errors in this venerable thread. The fourth line above scans as follows: "LookING at the spine." The emphasis in "looking" should fall on the first syllable, not the second. "I looked at the spine" would have worked. The fifth line ("It said Fishing sans hook") doesn't have enough syllables. "The title read Fishing sans hook" would have worked. That's today's lesson. Please don't be late to class again tomorrow. :D

She was only a fisherman's daughter
But the son of a nobleman caught her

Ketzel
09-18-2012, 01:19 AM
She was only a fisherman's daughter
But the son of a nobleman caught her
When she said, "Put me down!"

sprogspasser
09-18-2012, 01:26 AM
She was only a fisherman's daughter
But the son of a nobleman caught her
When she said, "Put me down!"
He lifted her bedgown

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 01:32 AM
She was only a fisherman's daughter
But the son of a nobleman caught her
When she said, "Put me down!"
He lifted her gown* (*"bedgown" doesn't scan)
Then the lout threw the lass in the water.

From the hills to the edge of the bay

Ketzel
09-18-2012, 01:35 AM
From the hills to the edge of the bay
I've been running and running all day

alexaherself
09-18-2012, 02:41 AM
From the hills to the edge of the bay
I've been running and running all day
Thes shoes aren't ideal

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 02:46 AM
From the hills to the edge of the bay
I've been running and running all day
These shoes aren't ideal
With a seven-inch heel

Ketzel
09-18-2012, 02:52 AM
From the hills to the edge of the bay
I've been running and running all day
These shoes ain't ideal
With a seven-inch heel
But I have to be stylish, okay?

My very best friend lives in Rome

talkwrite
09-18-2012, 03:26 AM
My very best friend lives in Rome
In a villa that he calls home

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 05:30 AM
My very best friend lives in Rome
In a villa that he calls his home
Near Nero's old palace

Matera the Mad
09-18-2012, 08:38 AM
My very best friend lives in Rome
In a villa that he calls his home
Near Nero's old palace
Where Bob, Ted, and Alice

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 09:43 AM
My very best friend lives in Rome
In a villa that he calls his home
Near Nero's old palace
Where Bob, Ted, and Alice
Take photos of Saint Peter's dome.

I picked up a handful of dust

Sir_Nigel
09-18-2012, 12:18 PM
I picked up a handful of dust
Slow work as my hoover was bust

sprogspasser
09-18-2012, 05:57 PM
I picked up a handful of dust
Slow work as my hoover was bust
Along came a spider

Ketzel
09-18-2012, 07:02 PM
I picked up a handful of dust
Slow work as my hoover was bust
Along came a spider
A Romney insider

Lavern08
09-18-2012, 07:54 PM
I picked up a handful of dust
Slow work as my hoover was bust
Along came a spider
A Romney insider
An insect that one could not trust.

I screamed when they told me the news

strictlytopsecret
09-18-2012, 08:13 PM
I screamed when they told me the news
A crazy old man lit the fuse

iLion
09-18-2012, 08:18 PM
I screamed when they told me the news
A crazy old man lit the fuse
Then sat on the thing

alexaherself
09-18-2012, 08:29 PM
I screamed when they told me the news
A crazy old man lit the fuse
Then sat on the thing
And started to sing

iLion
09-18-2012, 08:32 PM
I screamed when they told me the news
A crazy old man lit the fuse
Then sat on the thing
And started to sing
Now his brains are down in his shoes.

"I don't understand", said the child

alexaherself
09-18-2012, 08:33 PM
"I don't understand", said the child
"They said it's ok to be wild?"

iLion
09-18-2012, 08:39 PM
"I don't understand", said the child
"They said it's ok to be wild?"
So why can't I scream

strictlytopsecret
09-18-2012, 08:50 PM
"I don't understand", said the child
"They said it's ok to be wild?"
So why can't I scream
And throw sour cream

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 08:59 PM
"I don't understand", said the child
"They said it's ok to be wild?"
So why can't I scream
And throw sour cream?"
Then he threw sour cream, screamed and smiled.

I wish I could make you feel better

alexaherself
09-18-2012, 09:00 PM
I wish I could make you feel better
But how can you do that by letter?

strictlytopsecret
09-18-2012, 09:20 PM
I wish I could make you feel better
But how can you do that by letter?
If I was beside you

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 09:49 PM
I wish I could make you feel better
But how can you do that by letter?
If I was beside you
I'd try to provide you

sprogspasser
09-18-2012, 10:28 PM
I wish I could make you feel better
But how can you do that by letter?
If I was beside you
I'd try to provide you
Hot tea cookies and natter

There was a nurse from Rugby

Lavern08
09-18-2012, 10:42 PM
There was a young nurse from Rugby
Who kissed me and then tried to mug me

Nymtoc
09-18-2012, 10:55 PM
I wish I could make you feel better
But how can you do that by letter?
If I was beside you
I'd try to provide you
Hot tea cookies and natter

:( Sigh. This last line doesn't quite scan. It could use a couple more syllables. Example: "With hot ginger cookies and _______." But there's the second problem. "natter" doesn't rhyme with "letter." In limericks, we aim for true rhymes, not near rhymes. In poetry in general, near or imperfect rhymes--or no rhymes at all--are certainly acceptable, but these are LIMERICKS, and they have strict rules. An acceptable last line would have been "With ginger snaps and a warm sweater." If these lectures of mine are growing too annoying for you, fire me. :D

There was a cute, young nurse from Rugby
Who kissed me and then tried to mug me.
But when I cried out

Ketzel
09-18-2012, 11:53 PM
There once was a young nurse from Rugby
Who kissed me and then tried to mug me.
But when I cried out
She stepped back in doubt
And I ran off before she could slug me.


I'm finishing this with both lines so that I can add the following in support of Nymtoc:

A Limerick With No Words:

Line 1: da-DA-da-da-DA-da-da-DA
Line 2: da-DA-da-da-DA-da-da-LA
Line 3: dee-DEE-dee-dee-dee
Line 4: dee-DEE-dee-dee-lee
Line 5: da-DA-da-da-DA-da-da-MA

Alternative Option for Lines 1 and 2:
da-DA-da-da-DA-da-da-DA-da
da-DA-da-da-DA-da-da-DA-la


Alternative Option For Lines 3 and 4:
dee-DEE-dee-dee-dee-DEE-dee
dee-DEE-dee-dee-dee-DEE-lee

When I met the man of my dreams

strictlytopsecret
09-19-2012, 12:01 AM
When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes

alexaherself
09-19-2012, 03:10 AM
When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes
I liked that a lot

strictlytopsecret
09-19-2012, 03:16 AM
When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes
I liked that a lot
"He's perfect!" I thought

alexaherself
09-19-2012, 03:25 AM
When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes
I liked that a lot
On the deck of his yacht

(Sorry, call me pedantic, but "thought" just doesn't rhyme with "lot". "Thought" rhymes with "ought", "caught" and "bought". "Lot" rhymes with "cot", "slot" and "got" :o ).

Nymtoc
09-19-2012, 03:46 AM
Double trouble! :eek:

When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes
I liked that a lot
"He's perfect!" I thought
Oops! His trousers are ripped at the seams.

When I met the man of my dreams
I found he took things to extremes
I liked that a lot
On the deck of his yacht
Which he bought through some devious schemes.


My friend's getting married today

Ketzel
09-19-2012, 04:29 AM
My friend's getting married today
I wasn't invited, but hey,

Nymtoc
09-19-2012, 10:33 AM
My friend's getting married today
I wasn't invited, but hey,
I guess he's still mad

Ketzel
09-19-2012, 10:39 AM
My friend's getting married today
I wasn't invited, but hey,
I guess he's still mad
That I dated his dad

Nymtoc
09-19-2012, 11:34 AM
My friend's getting married today
I wasn't invited, but hey,
I guess he's still mad
That I dated his dad
In a shockingly louche cabaret.

There once was an ugly old gnome

Sir_Nigel
09-19-2012, 11:54 AM
There once was an ugly old gnome
who lived with a troll named Jerome

Lavern08
09-19-2012, 07:20 PM
There once was an ugly old gnome
Who lived with a troll named Jerome
They wore pointy hats

Ketzel
09-19-2012, 07:59 PM
There once was an ugly old gnome
Who lived with a troll named Jerome
They wore pointy hats
And raised Persian cats

iLion
09-19-2012, 08:58 PM
There once was an ugly old gnome
Who lived with a troll named Jerome
They wore pointy hats
And raised Persian cats
And called the White House their new home.

I'm running away to Brazil

Nymtoc
09-19-2012, 09:08 PM
I'm running away to Brazil
With the millions I stole from the till

iLion
09-19-2012, 09:20 PM
I'm running away to Brazil
With the millions I stole from the till
I'll meet my sweet Claire

Lavern08
09-19-2012, 09:27 PM
I'm running away to Brazil
With the millions I stole from the till
I'll meet my sweet Claire
We'll hide away there

iLion
09-19-2012, 09:32 PM
I'm running away to Brazil
With the millions I stole from the till
I'll meet my sweet Claire
We'll hide away there
Till they bury us up on Boot Hill.

Till then we will live like great kings

Lavern08
09-19-2012, 09:40 PM
Till then we will live like great kings
While feasting on butterfly wings

strictlytopsecret
09-19-2012, 09:45 PM
Till then we will live like great kings
While feasting on butterfly wings
We'll hoard all the gold

Ketzel
09-19-2012, 11:48 PM
Till then we will live like great kings
While feasting on butterfly wings
We'll hoard all the gold
In our underground hold

Nymtoc
09-20-2012, 01:47 AM
Till then we will live like great kings
While feasting on butterfly wings
We'll hoard all the gold
In our underground hold
With cabbages, oysters and things.

I think I will go on the road

alexaherself
09-20-2012, 01:50 AM
I think I will go on the road
With a couple of frogs and a toad

talkwrite
09-20-2012, 03:03 AM
I think I will go on the road
With a couple of frogs and a toad
We will fit in my car

alexaherself
09-20-2012, 03:04 AM
I think I will go on the road
With a couple of frogs and a toad
We will fit in my car
And stop at each bar

strictlytopsecret
09-20-2012, 03:32 AM
I think I will go on the road
With a couple of frogs and a toad
We will fit in my car
And stop at each bar
Saluting Amphibian Code

My cat is an odd one, indeed

alexaherself
09-20-2012, 03:38 AM
My cat is an odd one, indeed (extra syllable included for scansion)
He doesn't quite know how to read

Ketzel
09-20-2012, 04:01 AM
My cat is an odd one, indeed (extra syllable included for scansion)
He doesn't quite know how to read
His math is erratic

Zeddo
09-20-2012, 08:29 AM
My cat is an odd one, indeed (extra syllable included for scansion)
He doesn't quite know how to read
His math is erratic
His French problematic

Nymtoc
09-20-2012, 08:50 AM
My cat is an odd one, indeed
He doesn't quite know how to read
His math is erratic
His French problematic
His art's in the spots where he's peed.

My dog is much smarter, of course

Zeddo
09-20-2012, 09:50 AM
My dog is much smarter, of course
He writes books on avoiding divorce

sprogspasser
09-20-2012, 12:27 PM
My dog is much smarter, of course
He writes books on avoiding divorce
He barks in French

Ketzel
09-20-2012, 06:10 PM
My dog is much smarter, of course
He writes books on avoiding divorce
He barks en francais
Cooks cherries flambe

strictlytopsecret
09-20-2012, 06:27 PM
My dog is much smarter, of course
He writes books on avoiding divorce
He barks en francais
Cooks cherries flambe
But his art is his true tour de force

My dog's art may seem a bit strange

Lavern08
09-20-2012, 07:00 PM
My dog's art may seem a bit strange
He paints still life although he has mange

Nymtoc
09-20-2012, 10:53 PM
My dog's art may seem a bit strange
He paints still life though he has mange
Picasso he's not

strictlytopsecret
09-20-2012, 11:08 PM
My dog's art may seem a bit strange
He paints still life though he has mange
Picasso he's not
Old Spot is self-taught

Ketzel
09-21-2012, 01:25 AM
My dog's art may seem a bit strange
He paints still life though he has mange
Picasso he's not
Self-taught is old Spot [rhymes this way]
And he does his best work at close range.

There once was a woman named Hope

alexaherself
09-21-2012, 02:02 AM
There once was a woman named Hope
Who with everyday life couldn't cope

StephanieFox
09-21-2012, 08:29 AM
There once was a woman named Hope
Who with everyday life couldn't cope
I ask, who could blame her?

sprogspasser
09-21-2012, 11:39 AM
There once was a woman named Hope
Who with everyday life couldn't cope
I ask, who could blame her?
When things are such a blur

Nymtoc
09-21-2012, 12:28 PM
:Lecture: "When things are such a blur" doesn't work. With an end rhyme like "blame her" the word to be rhymed is the strong first syllable, "blame," not the second, weak syllable, "her." Write this lesson 100 times on the board and see me after class. :D

There once was a woman named Hope
Who with everyday life couldn't cope
I ask, who could blame her?
The Fates seemed to shame her

Sir_Nigel
09-21-2012, 12:34 PM
There once was a woman named Hope
Who with everyday life couldn't cope
I ask, who could blame her?
The Fates seemed to shame her
She was set on a slippery slope



They’ve just dug up Richard the Third

annetpfeffer
09-21-2012, 04:46 PM
They’ve just dug up Richard the Third
I know it seems really absurd

strictlytopsecret
09-21-2012, 05:15 PM
They’ve just dug up Richard the Third
I know it seems really absurd
But I tell you, it's true




*I'm curious about "not" and "taught" (and similar). These rhyme to my ear. And they rhyme according to Rhymezone.com . They clearly do not rhyme to the ears of others, however. Could it be a British/American pronunciation difference?

Sir_Nigel
09-21-2012, 05:31 PM
They’ve just dug up Richard the Third
I know it seems really absurd
But I tell you, it's true
and I heard it too: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=254707

Ketzel
09-21-2012, 07:40 PM
They’ve just dug up Richard the Third
I know it seems really absurd
But I tell you, it's true
and I heard it too
So don't you go doubting our word


*I'm curious about "not" and "taught" (and similar). These rhyme to my ear. And they rhyme according to Rhymezone.com . They clearly do not rhyme to the ears of others, however. Could it be a British/American pronunciation difference? Could be, strictlytopsecret. My American Heritage Dictionary gives these pronunciation guides: For "not" - [not] with the "o" sound pronounced as in odd, hot, waffle. For "taught" - [tawt] with the "au" sound pronounced as in all, lost, saw. So in standard American English, they don't create a strict rhyme. If you pronounce "not" as "nawt" it does rhymes with "taught." But is that a standard British pronunciation? I don't know . . .


I'm making some lunch for a friend

Nymtoc
09-21-2012, 08:18 PM
I'm making some lunch for a friend
What entree would you recommend?

iLion
09-21-2012, 08:31 PM
I'm making some lunch for a friend
What entree would you recommend?
Blow fish or cat?

Nymtoc
09-21-2012, 08:37 PM
I'm making some lunch for a friend
What entree would you recommend?
Blow fish or cat?
Or lizard or bat?

Ketzel
09-22-2012, 12:23 AM
I'm making some lunch for a friend
What entree would you recommend?
Blow fish or cat?
Or lizard or bat?
If I wanted the friendship to end?

I think I should finally go green