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iLion
08-07-2012, 08:25 PM
She lives by herself in a tree
Which she climbed when she reached thirty-three
Her bed is a nest
She wears a pink vest,
And she tweets on her phone before tea.

She had the most beautiful knees

iLion
08-07-2012, 08:28 PM
*(I think we have a two-fer! )

I'm running away said the cat




She had the most beautiful knees

iLion
08-07-2012, 08:29 PM
I'm running away said the cat
'Cause the mouse has stolen my hat



She had the most beautiful knees
And would love you to kiss them and squeeze

Zeddo
08-07-2012, 08:30 PM
Deleted

Zeddo
08-07-2012, 08:33 PM
I'm running away said the cat
'Cause the mouse has stolen my hat
I'm ashamed to be seen


She had the most beautiful knees
And would love you to kiss them and squeeze
But go further than that

archerjoe
08-07-2012, 09:31 PM
I'm running away said the cat
'Cause the mouse has stolen my hat
I'm ashamed to be seen
That mouse is so mean

She had the most beautiful knees
And would love you to kiss them and squeeze
But go further than that
And her boyfriend, Matt

kenthepen
08-07-2012, 11:12 PM
I'm running away said the cat
'Cause the mouse has stolen my hat
I'm ashamed to be seen
That mouse is so mean
I'll come back with a big cricket bat.

She had the most beautiful knees
And would love you to kiss them and squeeze
But go further than that
And her boyfriend, Matt
Will toss you out the door with great ease.


As the butterfly landed on grass

alexaherself
08-08-2012, 12:20 AM
As the butterfly landed on grass
By the side of the old Khyber Pass

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 12:34 AM
As the butterfly landed on grass
By the side of the old Khyber Pass
That dude, Genghis Khan,

Zeddo
08-08-2012, 12:37 AM
Delete

Zeddo
08-08-2012, 12:40 AM
As the butterfly landed on grass
By the side of the old Khyber Pass
That dude, Genghis Khan,
Was out mowing his lawn

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 12:55 AM
As the butterfly landed on grass
By the side of the old Khyber Pass
That dude, Genghis Khan,
Was out mowing his lawn
The poor insect died when he passed gas.

"My keyboard is stuck!" cried Ramón

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 01:54 AM
"My keyboard is stuck!" cried Ramon
"And I can't get my Musica on!

Melina
08-08-2012, 02:55 AM
My keyboard is stuck!" cried Ramon
"And I can't get my Musica on!
Nor can I write prose

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 06:18 AM
"My keyboard is stuck!" cried Ramon
"And I can't get my Musica on!
Nor can I write prose
Now my rose is no rose

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 06:33 AM
"My keyboard is stuck!" cried Ramon
"And I can't get my Musica on!
Nor can I write prose
Now my rose is no rose
And my book, with the wind, is all gone.

When Ernie went out for a beer

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 06:37 AM
When Ernie went out for a beer
Poor Bert sat at home fraught with fear

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 06:42 AM
When Ernie went out for a beer
Poor Bert sat at home fraught with fear
"He'll find a new pal"

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 06:45 AM
When Ernie went out for a beer
Poor Bert sat at home fraught with fear
"He'll find a new pal
And it might be a gal

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 06:50 AM
When Ernie went out for a beer
Poor Bert sat at home fraught with fear
"He'll find a new pal
And it might be a gal
And poor me, I'll be all alone here."

But Oscar told Bert not to fret

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 06:53 AM
But Oscar told Bert not to fret
"There's a better guy pal out there yet."

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 07:00 AM
But Oscar told Bert not to fret
"There's a better guy pal out there yet.
So drink Figgy Fizz

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 07:07 AM
But Oscar told Bert not to fret
"There's a better guy pal out there yet
So drink Figgy Fizz
And then try not to whizz

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 07:34 AM
But Oscar told Bert not to fret
"There's a better guy pal out there yet
So drink Figgy Fizz
And then try not to whizz
If you do, you'll break out in a sweat."

The windows all glistened with rain

Lavern08
08-08-2012, 05:21 PM
The windows all glistened with rain
As Ferdinand dreamed about Spain

archerjoe
08-08-2012, 05:26 PM
The windows all glistened with rain
As Ferdinand dreamed about Spain
But as the rhyme goes

alexaherself
08-08-2012, 05:59 PM
The windows all glistened with rain
As Ferdinand dreamed about Spain
But as the rhyme goes
And experience shows

kenthepen
08-08-2012, 10:35 PM
The windows all glistened with rain
As Ferdinand dreamed about Spain
But as the rhyme goes
And experience shows
In Spain the rain stays on the pane.

The last time I visited France

Nymtoc
08-08-2012, 10:56 PM
The last time I visited France
I wandered around in a trance

Zeddo
08-09-2012, 12:48 AM
The last time I visited France
I wandered around in a trance
I drank so much red wine

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 01:27 AM
The last time I visited France
I wandered around in a trance
I drank so much red wine
I turned into a vine

BlueCloud
08-09-2012, 02:28 AM
Now "Grapevine" is more than a dance.

*****

If only I'd not left the bar

Melina
08-09-2012, 02:36 AM
If only I'd not left the bar
the world wouldn't seem so bizarre

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 02:43 AM
If only I'd not left the bar
the world wouldn't seem so bizarre
But once you've gone dry

Melina
08-09-2012, 03:03 AM
If only I'd not left the bar
the world wouldn't seem so bizarre
But once you've gone dry
there's no reason to try

Zeddo
08-09-2012, 03:18 AM
If only I'd not left the bar
the world wouldn't seem so bizarre
But once you've gone dry
there's no reason to try
Finding out how you got where you are.

He gets tongue-tied and blushes when kissed

Melina
08-09-2012, 05:00 AM
He gets tongue-tied and blushes when kissed
but regrets opportunities missed

kenthepen
08-09-2012, 07:11 AM
He gets tongue-tied and blushes when kissed
but regrets opportunities missed
So he slips her tied tongue

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 04:12 PM
He gets tongue-tied and blushes when kissed
but regrets opportunities missed
So he slips her tied tongue
Down her throat to her lung

Meerkat
08-09-2012, 04:16 PM
He gets tongue-tied and blushes when kissed
but regrets opportunities missed
so he slips her tied tongue
down her throat to her lung
now regrets that mean way she just hissed



It's too early for thinking at work

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 04:19 PM
It's too early for thinking at work
For the waitresses at Central Perc

Lavern08
08-09-2012, 05:57 PM
It's too early for thinking at work
For the waitresses at Central Perc
They put soap in your latte

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 09:10 PM
It's too early for thinking at work
For the waitresses at Central Perc
They put soap in your latte
It's as old as Kawate

Melina
08-09-2012, 09:15 PM
It's too early for thinking at work
For the waitresses at Central Perc
They put soap in your latte
It's as old as Kawate
Then they watch you drink up with a smirk



There's a creepy old dude in the basement

Zeddo
08-09-2012, 09:58 PM
There's a creepy old dude in the basement
Who says he's a boyfriend replacement

Lavern08
08-09-2012, 10:03 PM
There's a creepy old dude in the basement
Who says he's a boyfriend replacement
He watches the telly

Melina
08-09-2012, 10:12 PM
There's a creepy old dude in the basement
Who says he's a boyfriend replacement
He watches the telly
Picks lint from his belly

alexaherself
08-09-2012, 10:38 PM
There's a creepy old dude in the basement
Who says he's a boyfriend replacement
He watches the telly
Picks lint from his belly
And asks "Did you want some retracement?"




A bather whose clothing was soaked

kenthepen
08-10-2012, 12:56 AM
A bather whose clothing was soaked
Quite on purpose to reveal he was yoked

Melina
08-10-2012, 01:01 AM
A bather whose clothing was soaked
Quite on purpose to reveal he was yoked
Rather failed to impress

alexaherself
08-10-2012, 01:42 AM
A bather whose clothing was soaked
Quite on purpose to reveal he was yoked
Rather failed to impress
But not to undress

Nymtoc
08-11-2012, 07:30 AM
A bather whose clothing was soaked
Quite on purpose to reveal he was yoked
Rather failed to impress
But not to undress
And none, reading this, were provoked.

Let's try for a much better verse

kenthepen
08-11-2012, 08:54 AM
Let's try for a much better verse
Let our bon mots be poignant and terse

Nymtoc
08-11-2012, 08:58 AM
Let's try for a much better verse
Let our bon mots be poignant and terse
Let's aim for true wit

kenthepen
08-11-2012, 09:02 AM
Let's try for a much better verse
Let our bon mots be poignant and terse
Let's aim for true wit
Not slapdash bullshit

Nymtoc
08-11-2012, 10:14 AM
Let's try for a much better verse
Let our bon mots be poignant and terse
Let's aim for true wit
Not slapdash bullshit
Which makes our lame rhymes even worse.

From now on, we'll write really well

Zeddo
08-11-2012, 10:38 AM
From now on, we'll write really well
We'll find elegant rhymes that excel

alexaherself
08-11-2012, 02:51 PM
From now on, we'll write really well
We'll find elegant rhymes that excel
Our meter will scan

kenthepen
08-12-2012, 03:06 AM
From now on, we'll write really well
We'll find elegant rhymes that excel
Our meter will scan
Anapestic's the plan

Nymtoc
08-12-2012, 03:22 AM
From now on, we'll write really well
We'll find elegant rhymes that excel
Our meter will scan
Anapestic's the plan
But a trochee will land you in hell.

When we publish our rhymes to acclaim

alexaherself
08-12-2012, 03:28 AM
When we publish our rhymes to acclaim
We never quite think of the fame

kenthepen
08-12-2012, 04:02 AM
When we publish our rhymes to acclaim
We never quite think of the fame
Retribution, it seems

alexaherself
08-12-2012, 04:06 AM
When we publish our rhymes to acclaim
We never quite think of the fame
Retribution, it seems
Isn't only for dreams

Nymtoc
08-12-2012, 04:12 AM
When we publish our rhymes to acclaim
We never quite think of the fame
Retribution, it seems
Isn't only for dreams
We get more than enough in this game.

John Henry set sail with his cat

Zeddo
08-12-2012, 07:11 AM
John Henry set sail with his cat
Wearing spats and a captain's cocked hat

alexaherself
08-12-2012, 02:08 PM
John Henry set sail with his cat
Wearing spats and a captain's cocked hat
The cat wore them, too

Zeddo
08-12-2012, 07:50 PM
John Henry set sail with his cat
Wearing spats and a captain's cocked hat
The cat wore them, too
And so did the crew

kenthepen
08-12-2012, 11:03 PM
John Henry set sail with his cat
Wearing spats and a captain's cocked hat
The cat wore them, too
And so did the crew
And together did one entrechat

(risking censure: bad english pronunciation?)

"Apologize NOW!" said the Mod

Nymtoc
08-12-2012, 11:44 PM
"Apologize NOW!" said the Mod
"Once again on the rules you have trod!"

Zeddo
08-13-2012, 01:02 AM
deleted

alexaherself
08-13-2012, 01:02 AM
"Apologize NOW!" said the Mod
"Once again on the rules you have trod!
You ought to know better

Nymtoc
08-13-2012, 01:24 AM
"Apologize NOW!" said the Mod
"Once again on the rules you have trod!
You ought to know better
Your dry wit gets wetter!"

alexaherself
08-13-2012, 02:07 AM
"Apologize NOW!" said the Mod
"Once again on the rules you have trod!
You ought to know better
Your dry wit gets wetter!
And you know that in this place I'm God."



The nation can breathe easy now,

kenthepen
08-13-2012, 02:19 AM
The nation can breathe easy now
Go back to its factory and plow

alexaherself
08-13-2012, 04:07 AM
The nation can breathe easy now
Go back to its factory and plow
No need for concern

Matera the Mad
08-13-2012, 07:28 AM
The nation can breathe easy now
Go back to its factory and plow
No need for concern
That the Martians will turn

Nymtoc
08-13-2012, 07:46 AM
The nation can breathe easy now
Go back to its factory and plow
No need for concern
That the Martians will turn
To invading and steal our know-how.

She sits by the fire and knits

Zeddo
08-13-2012, 08:37 AM
She sits by the fire and knits
Lovely things, but the stuff never fits

kenthepen
08-14-2012, 12:26 AM
She sits by the fire and knits
Lovely things, but the stuff never fits
The sweaters are tight

alexaherself
08-14-2012, 12:38 AM
She sits by the fire and knits
Lovely things, but the stuff never fits
The sweaters are tight
The leggings too white

kenthepen
08-14-2012, 03:35 AM
She sits by the fire and knits
Lovely things, but the stuff never fits
The sweater's are tight
The leggings too white
And that dress shows us heaven when she sits

The trumpet has sounded the call

Zeddo
08-14-2012, 03:47 AM
The trumpet has sounded the call
And there's lineups outside of the mall

Nymtoc
08-14-2012, 09:56 AM
The trumpet has sounded the call
And there's lineups outside of the mall
Quill pens are on sale

alexaherself
08-14-2012, 02:37 PM
The trumpet has sounded the call
And there's lineups outside of the mall
Quill pens are on sale
And nothing can fail

kenthepen
08-14-2012, 10:02 PM
The trumpet has sounded the call
And there's lineups outside of the mall
Quill pens are on sale
And nothing can fail
To draw porcupine fans most of all

The lemurs are leaping today

Zeddo
08-15-2012, 12:42 AM
The lemurs are leaping today
'Cause the pythons are headed their way

Nymtoc
08-15-2012, 01:00 AM
The lemurs are leaping today
'Cause the pythons are headed their way
The lemurs' best hope

kenthepen
08-15-2012, 06:58 AM
The lemurs are leaping today
'Cause the pythons are headed their way
The lemurs' best hope
Ain't Ali's rope-a-dope

Nymtoc
08-15-2012, 09:23 AM
The lemurs are leaping today
'Cause the pythons are headed their way
The lemurs' best hope
Ain't Ali's rope-a-dope
They just run like hell from the squeeze play.

A hermit called Herb had a doll

Zeddo
08-15-2012, 09:42 AM
A hermit called Herb had a doll
With gold medals in beach volleyball

StephanieFox
08-15-2012, 09:45 AM
A hermit called Herb had a doll
With gold medals in beach volleyball
He was great with his spikes

kenthepen
08-15-2012, 09:09 PM
A hermit called Herb had a doll
With gold medals in beach volleyball
He was great with his spikes
Could he withstand her strikes?

Nymtoc
08-15-2012, 10:18 PM
A hermit called Herb had a doll
With gold medals in beach volleyball
He was great with his spikes
Could he withstand her strikes?
Sadly, no. But he gave it his all.

Timmy brought his pet cobra to class.

kenthepen
08-15-2012, 10:57 PM
Timmy brought his pet cobra to class
In a basket he wove out of grass

Nymtoc
08-15-2012, 11:56 PM
Timmy brought his pet cobra to class
In a basket he wove out of grass
The other kids gaped

Zeddo
08-16-2012, 12:30 AM
Timmy brought his pet cobra to class
In a basket he wove out of grass
The other kids gaped
When the cobra escaped

alexaherself
08-16-2012, 03:32 AM
Timmy brought his pet cobra to class
In a basket he wove out of grass
The other kids gaped
When the cobra escaped
And headed them off at the pass.



The problem with writing is time

kenthepen
08-16-2012, 05:05 AM
The problem with writing is time
It takes days to find just the right rhyme

StephanieFox
08-16-2012, 05:34 AM
The problem with writing is time
It takes days to find just the right rhyme
But if we get paid

kenthepen
08-16-2012, 06:31 AM
The problem with writing is time
It takes days to find just the right rhyme
But if we get paid
Watch the couplets cascade!

Nymtoc
08-16-2012, 06:45 AM
The problem with writing is time
It takes days to find just the right rhyme
But if we get paid
Watch the couplets cascade!
We'll be raking in dime after dime.

My muse threw a tantrum and quit

Zeddo
08-16-2012, 08:48 AM
My muse threw a tantrum and quit
I've not written a thing since she split

Melina
08-16-2012, 09:37 AM
My muse threw a tantrum and quit
I've not written a thing since she split
the disloyal bitch

alexaherself
08-16-2012, 02:47 PM
My muse threw a tantrum and quit
I've not written a thing since she split
The disloyal bitch
Will never get rich

iLion
08-16-2012, 08:42 PM
My muse threw a tantrum and quit
I've not written a thing since she split
The disloyal bitch
Will never get rich
And now I'm so mad I could spit!


The volley ball women were hits

Nymtoc
08-16-2012, 09:27 PM
The volley ball women were hits
We should take them to dine at the Ritz

Melina
08-16-2012, 10:35 PM
The volley ball women were hits
We should take them to dine at the Ritz
Their digs were stupendous

CatherineHall
08-17-2012, 12:27 AM
The volley ball women were hits
We should take them to dine at the Ritz
Their digs were stupendous
Their sets so tremendous

talkwrite
08-17-2012, 04:03 AM
The volley ball women were hits
We should take them to dine at the Ritz
Their digs were stupendous
Their sets so tremendous
Their moves gave poor Prince Harry fits.

The Queen now skydives with her troops

kenthepen
08-17-2012, 07:00 AM
The Queen now skydives with her troops
With a swan dive and some loop-the-loops

alexaherself
08-17-2012, 06:26 PM
The Queen now skydives with her troops
With a swan dive and some loop-the-loops
The para's all love her

kenthepen
08-17-2012, 10:05 PM
The Queen now skydives with her troops
With a swan dive and some loop-the-loops
The para's all love her
And none soar above her

alexaherself
08-18-2012, 02:28 AM
The Queen now skydives with her troops
With a swan dive and some loop-the-loops
The para's all love her
And none soar above her
But sometimes an eagle just swoops.



When royalty take to the air

Zeddo
08-18-2012, 02:33 AM
When royalty take to the air
They should always have clean underwear

alexaherself
08-18-2012, 02:39 AM
When royalty take to the air
They should always have clean underwear
It's all on display

StephanieFox
08-18-2012, 03:20 AM
When royalty take to the air
They should always have clean underwear
It's all on display
In an eminent way

alexaherself
08-18-2012, 03:27 AM
When royalty take to the air
They should always have clean underwear
It's all on display
In an eminent way
And it isn't just shown for a dare



When the weekend is coming up soon

Nymtoc
08-18-2012, 09:05 AM
When the weekend is coming up soon
I'll have time to spend with my baboon

Zeddo
08-18-2012, 09:13 AM
When the weekend is coming up soon
I'll have time to spend with my baboon
We'll beat each other's chests

StephanieFox
08-18-2012, 09:59 AM
When the weekend is coming up soon
I'll have time to spend with my baboon
We'll beat each other's chests
Wearing puffy down vests

kenthepen
08-18-2012, 10:52 AM
When the weekend is coming up soon
I'll have time to spend with my baboon
We'll beat each other's chests
Wearing puffy down vests
We'll drink beer and then howl at the moon

On the lady's wild animal side

alexaherself
08-18-2012, 05:00 PM
On the lady's wild animal side
She really has nothing to hide

kenthepen
08-18-2012, 08:56 PM
On the lady's wild animal side
She really has nothing to hide
She growls and advances

Iggy58
08-18-2012, 09:18 PM
and at times, even prances

kenthepen
08-18-2012, 09:24 PM
On the lady's wild animal side
She really has nothing to hide
She growls and advances
And at times, even prances
But she'll rip out your throat if you've lied

In a rigorous list of his faults

alexaherself
08-18-2012, 09:29 PM
On the lady's wild animal side
She really has nothing to hide
She growls and advances
And at times, even prances
And there's nothing she hasn't quite tried.



A young lady with candor confessed

kenthepen
08-18-2012, 09:31 PM
A young lady with candor confessed
She preferred to play huntress the best

Nymtoc
08-18-2012, 11:44 PM
A young lady with candor confessed
She preferred to play huntress the best
With weapon in hand

Iggy58
08-18-2012, 11:59 PM
She took over the land

Albedo of Zero
08-19-2012, 01:10 AM
A young lady with candor confessed
She preferred to play huntress the best
With weapon in hand
She took over the land
And she did so completely undressed


Her prey played the game with some humor

kenthepen
08-19-2012, 02:52 AM
Her prey played the game with some humor
And to counter the odd whispered rumor

Iggy58
08-19-2012, 04:32 PM
she proved her prey wrong

kenthepen
08-20-2012, 01:34 AM
Her prey played the game with some humor
And to counter the odd whispered rumor
She proved her prey wrong
By inventing a song

StephanieFox
08-20-2012, 03:52 AM
Her prey played the game with some humor
And to counter the odd whispered rumor
She proved her prey wrong
By inventing a song
About matchmaking Senator Schumer*

*http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/18/nyregion/senator-senator-make-me-a-match-for-staff-schumer-is-cupid.html?hpw



Coconut water's the thing

kenthepen
08-20-2012, 06:16 AM
Coconut water's the thing
Makes me dizzy and makes my ears ring

Matera the Mad
08-20-2012, 09:24 AM
Coconut water's the thing
Makes me dizzy and makes my ears ring
I pierce the old shell

iLion
08-20-2012, 09:34 PM
Coconut water's the thing
Makes me dizzy and makes my ears ring
I pierce the old shell
Then suck hard as hell

Nymtoc
08-20-2012, 10:34 PM
Coconut water's the thing
Makes me dizzy and makes my ears ring
I pierce the old shell
Then suck hard as hell
Then I run around naked and sing.

Incredibly, some say I'm dumb

iLion
08-21-2012, 01:21 AM
Incredibly, some say I'm dumb
So I moon them, but good, with my bum

Nymtoc
08-21-2012, 02:45 AM
Incredibly, some say I'm dumb
So I moon them, but good, with my bum
I pull out my smarts

StephanieFox
08-21-2012, 05:16 AM
Incredibly, some say I'm dumb
So I moon them, but good, with my bum
I pull out my smarts
And display them to tarts

kenthepen
08-21-2012, 06:13 AM
Incredibly, some say I'm dumb
So I moon them, but good, with my bum
I pull out my smarts
And display them to tarts
Just to leave them uncomfortably numb

If ever a girl winked an eye

Zeddo
08-21-2012, 06:57 AM
If ever a girl winked an eye
George would leap to her side and say ''Hi!''

kenthepen
08-21-2012, 07:03 AM
If ever a girl winked an eye
George would leap to her side and say "Hi!"
He lacked all sense of shame

Nymtoc
08-21-2012, 08:20 AM
If ever a girl winked an eye
George would leap to her side and say "Hi!"
He lacked all sense of shame
But his flirting was lame

kenthepen
08-21-2012, 08:29 AM
If ever a girl winked an eye
George would leap to her side and say "Hi!"
He lacked all sense of shame
But his flirting was lame
He'd go kissless and always would cry

Her pudding and pie was the best

StephanieFox
08-21-2012, 11:04 AM
Her pudding and pie was the best
The recipes stashed in her vest

Sir_Nigel
08-21-2012, 11:39 AM
Her pudding and pie was the best
The recipes stashed in her vest
Her Dumpling Surprise

alexaherself
08-21-2012, 03:06 PM
Her pudding and pie was the best
The recipes stashed in her vest
Her Dumpling Surprise
Drew everyone's eyes

Sir_Nigel
08-21-2012, 04:01 PM
Her pudding and pie was the best
The recipes stashed in her vest
Her Dumpling Surprise
drew everyone's eyes
and she’d give you a bit on request.


They often stopped by for a nibble

archerjoe
08-21-2012, 05:09 PM
They often stopped by for a nibble
And always got into a quibble

Zeddo
08-21-2012, 08:41 PM
They often stopped by for a nibble
And always got into a quibble
On the best wine or cheese

iLion
08-21-2012, 08:45 PM
They often stopped by for a nibble
And always got into a quibble
On the best wine or cheese
And who had the best knees

StephanieFox
08-21-2012, 09:03 PM
They often stopped by for a nibble
And always got into a quibble
On the best wine or cheese
And who had the best knees
Or which one had finished the kibble.


The stock market prices were rising

alexaherself
08-21-2012, 10:51 PM
The stock market prices were rising
Just like the banks were advising

talkwrite
08-22-2012, 04:01 AM
The stock market prices were rising
Just like the banks were advising
It's driven by Facebook

StephanieFox
08-22-2012, 06:03 AM
The stock market prices were rising
Just like the banks were advising
It's driven by Facebook
With a really grim outlook

Iggy58
08-22-2012, 10:48 PM
The stock market prices were rising
Just like the banks were advising
It's driven by Facebook
With a really grim outlook
So the uptick was really surprising.

My mother was quick to advise

alexaherself
08-22-2012, 10:49 PM
My mother was quick to advise
She sure knows her way round the guys

Zeddo
08-23-2012, 12:46 AM
My mother was quick to advise
She sure knows her way round the guys
"If they buy you a drink

Nymtoc
08-23-2012, 12:56 AM
My mother was quick to advise
She sure knows her way round the guys
"If they buy you a drink
They think they're on the brink

StephanieFox
08-23-2012, 09:21 AM
My mother was quick to advise
She sure knows her way round the guys
"If they buy you a drink
They think they're on the brink
But you're safe if you tell them all lies.


I spent all last night in a pub

Nymtoc
08-23-2012, 09:50 AM
I spent all last night in a pub
It was quite a notorious club

Zeddo
08-23-2012, 11:23 AM
I spent all last night in a pub
It was quite a notorious club
I lost my pants early

Sir_Nigel
08-23-2012, 02:06 PM
I spent all last night in a pub
It was quite a notorious club
I lost my pants early
and so did Big Shirley

Iggy58
08-23-2012, 03:54 PM
then we finished it off in the tub.

"Obamacare" is controversial

Nymtoc
08-23-2012, 05:30 PM
"Obamacare" is controversial
Insurers want health more commercial

Lavern08
08-23-2012, 07:21 PM
"Obamacare" is controversial
Insurers want health more commercial
I'll bet you a dolla

StephanieFox
08-23-2012, 09:43 PM
"Obamacare" is controversial
Insurers want health more commercial
I'll bet you a dolla
Like the music of Mahler

Nymtoc
08-24-2012, 12:14 AM
"Obamacare" is controversial
Insurers want health more commercial
I'll bet you a dolla
Like the music of Mahler
That Romney's new plan is ambrosial

Limericks are so addictive
:Lecture: Time for me to play the Grinch again, kiddies. "Ambrosial" does not rhyme with "controversial" or "commercial." Admittedly, this was a tough one, but at least one rhyme word was available--"inertial." Also, we sometimes make up fake words to get a rhyme: "Some people are going to get cursial." We try our best to write pristine limericks in this hallowed thread. There is nothing personal in this comment. I just go off like this from time to time. :D

Limericks are so addictive
I wish their rules weren't so restrictive

alexaherself
08-24-2012, 03:20 PM
Limericks are so addictive
I wish their rules weren't so restrictive
But here's the good news:

Iggy58
08-24-2012, 04:38 PM
Limericks are so addictive
I wish their rules weren't so restrictive
But here's the good news:
the rules challenge your muse

Sir_Nigel
08-24-2012, 04:52 PM
Limericks are so addictive
I wish their rules weren't so restrictive
But here's the good news:
the rules challenge your muse
So from now on you can just write any old rubbish.


Or maybe we’ll stick to what’s right

Lavern08
08-24-2012, 06:05 PM
Or maybe we’ll stick to what’s right
Or Nymtoc, we'll all have to fight

Zeddo
08-24-2012, 08:04 PM
Or maybe we’ll stick to what’s right
Or Nymtoc, we'll all have to fight
But our off-kilter rhymes

Lavern08
08-24-2012, 08:16 PM
Or maybe we’ll stick to what’s right
Or Nymtoc, we'll all have to fight
But our off-kilter rhymes
Are punishable crimes

Nymtoc
08-24-2012, 09:33 PM
Or maybe we’ll stick to what’s right
Or Nymtoc, we'll all have to fight
But our off-kilter rhymes
Are punishable crimes
For a pardon, come see me tonight. ;)

Alas, some have thrown rocks my way

StephanieFox
08-25-2012, 12:42 AM
Alas, some have thrown rocks my way
From New Wave to Hardcore Reggae

Zeddo
08-25-2012, 12:52 AM
Alas, some have thrown rocks my way
From New Wave to Hardcore Reggae
But I maintain the right

annetpfeffer
08-25-2012, 09:19 PM
Alas, some have thrown rocks my way
From New Wave to Hardcore Reggae
But I maintain the right
To play music all night

kenthepen
08-26-2012, 05:40 AM
Alas, some have thrown rocks my way
From New Wave to Hardcore Reggae
But I maintain the right
To play music all night
And play Disco without being gay.

Now the singers and songwriters all

archerjoe
08-26-2012, 08:07 PM
Now the singers and songwriters all
Contribute to pop music's fall

annetpfeffer
08-26-2012, 09:29 PM
Now the singers and songwriters all
Contribute to pop music's fall
Now I prefer indie

kenthepen
08-26-2012, 10:46 PM
Now the singers and songwriters all
Contribute to pop music's fall
Now I prefer indie
Commercial's too windy

Nymtoc
08-27-2012, 12:09 AM
Now the singers and songwriters all
Contribute to pop music's fall
Now I prefer indie
Commercial's too windy
But that's all you hear at the mall.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky

Lavern08
08-27-2012, 01:22 AM
There wasn't a cloud in the sky
When an elephant went floating by

StephanieFox
08-27-2012, 02:18 AM
There wasn't a cloud in the sky
When an elephant went floating by
It was bright pink in color

Nymtoc
08-27-2012, 02:35 AM
There wasn't a cloud in the sky
When an elephant went floating by
It was bright pink in color
But somehow looked duller

Zeddo
08-27-2012, 04:24 AM
There wasn't a cloud in the sky
When an elephant went floating by
It was bright pink in color
But somehow looked duller
I really must ease up on the rye


The buffet sign said "All You Can Eat"

StephanieFox
08-27-2012, 08:52 AM
The buffet sign said "All You Can Eat"
With assortments from salty to sweet

Nymtoc
08-27-2012, 12:36 PM
The buffet sign said "All You Can Eat"
With assortments from salty to sweet
But once you walked in

Lavern08
08-27-2012, 06:11 PM
The buffet sign said "All You Can Eat"
With assortments from salty to sweet
But once you walked in
Your tummy would spin

alexaherself
08-27-2012, 09:20 PM
The buffet sign said "All You Can Eat"
With assortments from salty to sweet
But once you walked in
Your tummy would spin:
The "greens" were new cheese and old meat.



The first lines quite often don't scan,

oneblindmouse
08-27-2012, 10:41 PM
The first lines quite often don't scan
The rhymes never follow a plan

kenthepen
08-27-2012, 10:44 PM
The first lines quite often don't scan
The rhymes never follow a plan
Make it up as you go

Lavern08
08-27-2012, 11:19 PM
The first lines quite often don't scan
The rhymes never follow a plan
Make it up as you go
Oneblindmouse was too slow

Nymtoc
08-27-2012, 11:36 PM
The first lines quite often don't scan
The rhymes never follow a plan
Make it up as you go
Oneblindmouse was too slow
Just like her, we must catch as catch can.

Now, if we were genuine bards

alexaherself
08-27-2012, 11:43 PM
Now, if we were genuine bards,
We'd be writing in gardens and yards,

kenthepen
08-28-2012, 01:23 AM
Now, if we were genuine bards,
We'd be writing in gardens and yards
Sipping fragrant merlot

Zeddo
08-28-2012, 02:45 AM
Now, if we were genuine bards,
We'd be writing in gardens and yards
Sipping fragrant merlot
Writing each word just so

alexaherself
08-28-2012, 03:05 AM
Now, if we were genuine bards,
We'd be writing in gardens and yards
Sipping fragrant merlot
Writing each word just so,
Not just sending out notes via the guards.



If only the snow wouldn't melt

talkwrite
08-28-2012, 04:50 AM
If only the snow wouldn't melt
If one more shiver could be felt

kenthepen
08-28-2012, 06:07 AM
If only the snow wouldn't melt
If one more shiver could be felt
So delightfully chill

Nymtoc
08-28-2012, 10:31 AM
If only the snow wouldn't melt
If one more shiver could be felt
So delightfully chill
It gives me a thrill

Sir_Nigel
08-28-2012, 12:31 PM
If only the snow wouldn't melt
If one more shiver could be felt
So delightfully chill
It gives me a thrill
like a cast iron chastity belt.


He never once uttered a word

StephanieFox
08-28-2012, 08:22 PM
He never once uttered a word
For he found vocalizing absurd

alexaherself
08-28-2012, 09:49 PM
He never once uttered a word
For he found vocalizing absurd
He just stood there, schtum

kenthepen
08-28-2012, 10:50 PM
He never once uttered a word
For he found vocalizing absurd
He just stood there, schtum
As if back in the womb

alexaherself
08-29-2012, 12:49 AM
He never once uttered a word
For he found vocalizing absurd
He just stood there, schtum
As if back in the womb
Where nothing at all could be heard.



While knitting some clothes for the guys,

talkwrite
08-29-2012, 04:32 AM
While knitting some clothes for the guys,
bitter tears would fall from her eyes.

kenthepen
08-29-2012, 06:57 AM
While knitting some clothes for the guys,
Bitter tears would fall from her eyes
For she wanted to play

annetpfeffer
08-29-2012, 08:41 AM
While knitting some clothes for the guys,
Bitter tears would fall from her eyes
For she wanted to play
Not sit knitting all day

Sir_Nigel
08-29-2012, 12:23 PM
While knitting some clothes for the guys,
Bitter tears would fall from her eyes
For she wanted to play
Not sit knitting all day
making snug woolly pants with no flies.


He announced to the world he was celibate

Zeddo
08-29-2012, 08:47 PM
He announced to the world he was celibate
But he still liked to raise hell a bit

archerjoe
08-29-2012, 09:25 PM
He announced to the world he was celibate
But he still liked to raise hell a bit
His specialty pants

kenthepen
08-30-2012, 12:03 AM
He announced to the world he was celibate
But he still liked to raise hell a bit
His specialty pants
Without him could dance

Zeddo
08-30-2012, 01:26 AM
He announced to the world he was celibate
But he still liked to raise hell a bit
His specialty pants
Without him could dance
Though some folks said they did smell a bit.


She's so afraid of being alone

talkwrite
08-30-2012, 02:16 AM
She's so afraid of being alone
In time her heart could turn to stone

Matera the Mad
08-30-2012, 10:19 AM
She's so afraid of being alone
In time her heart could turn to stone
Yet still she might turn

alexaherself
08-30-2012, 10:26 PM
She's so afraid of being alone
In time her heart could turn to stone
Yet still she might turn,
With longing, and yearn

kenthepen
08-30-2012, 11:19 PM
She's so afraid of being alone
In time her heart could turn to stone
Yet still she might turn,
With longing, and yearn
For a meter to match her heart's own

If the music she heard was not real

alexaherself
08-31-2012, 03:42 AM
If the music she heard was not real
It was still somehow quite a good deal

Zeddo
08-31-2012, 04:07 AM
If the music she heard was not real
It was still somehow quite a good deal
Without spending a dime

kenthepen
08-31-2012, 04:35 AM
If the music she heard was not real
It was still somehow quite a good deal
Without spending a dime
She got music and rhyme

annetpfeffer
08-31-2012, 07:01 AM
If the music she heard was not real
It was still somehow quite a good deal
Without spending a dime
She got music and rhyme
For a dollar more she got a meal.


She loved to hear rhythm and blues

kenthepen
08-31-2012, 07:03 AM
She loved to hear rhythm and blues
It rattled synapses and thews

alexaherself
08-31-2012, 02:36 PM
She loved to hear rhythm and blues
It rattled synapses and thews
She got up to dance

Sir_Nigel
08-31-2012, 02:59 PM
She loved to hear rhythm and blues
It rattled synapses and thews
She got up to dance
with a fella called Lance

alexaherself
08-31-2012, 03:03 PM
She loved to hear rhythm and blues
It rattled synapses and thews
She got up to dance
with a fella called Lance
In spite of his terrible shoes



The weekend will be here quite soon

iLion
08-31-2012, 08:30 PM
The weekend will be here quite soon
I'll dance by the light of the moon

kenthepen
08-31-2012, 08:45 PM
The weekend will be here quite soon
I'll dance by the light of the moon
If clouds should occlude

iLion
08-31-2012, 08:46 PM
The weekend will be here quite soon
I'll dance by the light of the moon
If clouds should occlude
It won't kill the mood

talkwrite
09-01-2012, 01:39 AM
The weekend will be here quite soon
I'll dance by the light of the moon
If clouds should occlude
It won't kill the mood
I'm bursting forth from this cocoon.

Irish lads don't deny a wink

kenthepen
09-01-2012, 05:10 AM
Irish lads don't deny a wink
Though it might not achieve what they think

Matera the Mad
09-01-2012, 08:37 AM
Irish lads don't deny a wink
Though it might not achieve what they think
A lady has notions

kenthepen
09-01-2012, 09:03 PM
Irish lads don't deny a wink
Though it might not achieve what they think
A lady has notions
'Bout ocular motions

Nymtoc
09-01-2012, 09:56 PM
Irish lads don't deny a wink
Though it might not achieve what they think
A lady has notions
'Bout ocular motions
And some lim'ricks (like this one) stink.*

When Little Boy Blue blew his horn



*The first line doesn't scan. :D

kenthepen
09-01-2012, 11:12 PM
When Little Boy Blue blew his horn
And then hied off to hide in the corn

StephanieFox
09-02-2012, 06:03 AM
When Little Boy Blue blew his horn
And then hied off to hide in the corn
But the tall corn betrayed him

kenthepen
09-02-2012, 06:11 AM
When Little Boy Blue blew his horn
And then hied off to hide in the corn
But the tall corn betrayed him
Sneaky cows then waylaid him

Nymtoc
09-02-2012, 10:35 AM
When Little Boy Blue blew his horn
And then hied off to hide in the corn
But the tall corn betrayed him
Sneaky cows then waylaid him
And chewed his hair till he was shorn.

My grandfather's clock struck thirteen

alexaherself
09-02-2012, 06:49 PM
My grandfather's clock struck thirteen
But was never displayed on the screen

kenthepen
09-02-2012, 10:31 PM
My grandfather's clock struck thirteen
But was never displayed on the screen
It was analog heaven

alexaherself
09-02-2012, 10:51 PM
My grandfather's clock struck thirteen
But was never displayed on the screen
It was analog heaven
At least until seven

kenthepen
09-02-2012, 11:34 PM
My grandfather's clock struck thirteen
But was never displayed on the screen
It was analog heaven
At least until seven
Just watch and you'll see what I mean...

I watched and I waited 'til eight

alexaherself
09-03-2012, 01:24 AM
I watched and I waited 'til eight
And just when it seemed like too late

StephanieFox
09-03-2012, 03:35 AM
I watched and I waited 'til eight
And just when it seemed like too late
Whether evening or morning

kenthepen
09-03-2012, 04:04 AM
I watched and I waited 'til eight
And just when it seemed like too late
Whether evening or morning
The clock struck in warning

Nymtoc
09-03-2012, 04:39 AM
I watched and I waited 'til eight
And just when it seemed like too late
Whether evening or morning
The clock struck in warning
"Beware! Now's the hour of your fate!"

I ran and hid under the bed

kenthepen
09-03-2012, 04:51 AM
I ran and hid under the bed
But the bonging still rang in my head