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Nymtoc
07-23-2012, 05:47 AM
This summer's exceedingly hot
The horses are too warm to trot
The stable boy's drinking
And race fans are thinking
"A day at the races? Let's not."

Natasha works at the saloon

kenthepen
07-23-2012, 05:54 AM
Natasha works at the saloon
She knows drink can turn man to baboon

Sir_Nigel
07-23-2012, 12:31 PM
Natasha works at the saloon
She knows drink can turn man to baboon
or sometimes a gibbon

alexaherself
07-23-2012, 02:54 PM
Natasha works at the saloon
She knows drink can turn man to baboon
or sometimes a gibbon
sewn up with a ribbon

Sir_Nigel
07-23-2012, 04:09 PM
Natasha works at the saloon
She knows drink can turn man to baboon
or sometimes a gibbon
sewn up with a ribbon
The Feds will catch up with her soon.



He smelt rather strongly of cheese

alexaherself
07-23-2012, 04:59 PM
He smelt rather strongly of cheese
And always forgot to say "Please"

Sir_Nigel
07-23-2012, 05:28 PM
He smelt rather strongly of cheese
And always forgot to say "Please"
Riddled with lice

archerjoe
07-23-2012, 05:33 PM
He smelt rather strongly of cheese
And always forgot to say "Please"
Riddled with lice
Dining on mice

alexaherself
07-23-2012, 07:23 PM
He smelt rather strongly of cheese
And always forgot to say "Please"
Riddled with lice
Dining on mice
And pursued by a huge swarm of bees.



I don't know why you need to go

Nymtoc
07-23-2012, 08:19 PM
I don't know why you need to go
Unless it's to guzzle Cointreau

alexaherself
07-23-2012, 08:24 PM
I don't know why you need to go
Unless it's to guzzle Cointreau
A proper French drink

Nymtoc
07-23-2012, 08:55 PM
I don't know why you need to go
Unless it's to guzzle Cointreau
A proper French drink
Should be sipped, with a clink,

Meerkat
07-23-2012, 09:09 PM
I don't know why you need to go
Unless it's to guzzle Cointreau
A proper French drink
Should be sipped, with a clink,
For more rounds, you should have bore dough


There was a ribald young explorer

kenthepen
07-23-2012, 10:04 PM
There was a ribald young explorer
Who wanted much more adult Dora

Matera the Mad
07-24-2012, 07:06 AM
There was a ribald young explorer
Who wanted much more adult Dora
To sit on his knee

Nymtoc
07-24-2012, 07:37 AM
There was a ribald young explorer
Who wanted much more adult Dora
To sit on his knee
And feed him some Brie

Zeddo
07-24-2012, 08:12 AM
There was a ribald young explorer
Who wanted much more adult Dora
To sit on his knee
And feed him some Brie
The idea filled her with horror!



I was recently knocked in the head

kenthepen
07-24-2012, 08:18 AM
I was recently knocked in the head
By an old violinist, who said

Sir_Nigel
07-24-2012, 11:31 AM
I was recently knocked in the head
By an old violinist, who said
My G string is slack

alexaherself
07-24-2012, 12:13 PM
I was recently knocked in the head
By an old violinist, who said
My G string is slack
I'm just an old hack

annetpfeffer
07-24-2012, 02:39 PM
I was recently knocked in the head
By an old violinist, who said
My G string is slack
I'm just an old hack
But I'd rather be old than be dead!



My center of gravity's shot

alexaherself
07-24-2012, 03:04 PM
My center of gravity's shot
And I really am losing the plot

Sir_Nigel
07-24-2012, 04:13 PM
My center of gravity's shot
And I really am losing the plot
I’m going bananas

Meerkat
07-24-2012, 04:16 PM
My center of gravity's shot
And I really am losing the plot
I’m going bananas
My "Steampunk Cabanas"

Nymtoc
07-24-2012, 08:13 PM
My center of gravity's shot
And I really am losing the plot
I’m going bananas
My "Steampunk Cabanas"
Is what all the agents want. Not.

I'm spending next weekend on Mars

alexaherself
07-24-2012, 08:17 PM
I'm spending next weekend on Mars
It's better than just going to the stars

Nymtoc
07-24-2012, 08:51 PM
I'm spending next weekend on Mars
It's better than just going to the stars
I'm bringing a knife

iLion
07-24-2012, 09:08 PM
I'm spending next weekend on Mars
It's better than just going to the stars
I'm bringing a knife
But leaving my wife

Nymtoc
07-24-2012, 10:03 PM
I'm spending next weekend on Mars
It's better than just going to the stars
I'm bringing a knife
But leaving my wife
She much prefers drinking in bars.

My roses are coming up blue

Zeddo
07-24-2012, 10:11 PM
My roses are coming up blue
And so are my daffodils too

alexaherself
07-24-2012, 10:28 PM
My roses are coming up blue
And so are my daffodils too
With flowers like that

Melina
07-24-2012, 11:52 PM
My roses are coming up blue
And so are my daffodils too
With flowers like that
Who needs nip-of-cat? :tongue

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 12:29 AM
My roses are coming up blue
And so are my daffodils too
With flowers like that
Who needs nip-of-cat?
That's a fine how-do-you-do!

Ol' Karl stood a lean six-foot-five

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 01:44 AM
Ol' Karl stood a lean six-foot-five
And watched for his train to arrive

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 02:05 AM
Ol' Karl stood a lean six-foot-five
And watched for his train to arrive
But he didn't know

Zeddo
07-25-2012, 02:10 AM
Ol' Karl stood a lean six-foot-five
And watched for his train to arrive
But he didn't know
It would never show

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 02:30 AM
Ol' Karl stood a lean six-foot-five
And watched for his train to arrive
But he didn't know
It would never show
And Karl doesn't know how to drive.

Those church bells are driving me mad

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 02:40 AM
Those church bells are driving me mad
If they cut all the ropes I'll be glad

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 07:00 AM
Those church bells are driving me mad
If they cut all the ropes I'll be glad
Though poor Quasi'd be idle

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 07:14 AM
Those church bells are driving me mad
If they cut all the ropes I'll be glad
Though poor Quasi'd be idle
I'll turn Jekyll 'n Hydal

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 07:17 AM
Those church bells are driving me mad
If they cut all the ropes I'll be glad
Though poor Quasi'd be idle
I'll turn Jekyll 'n Hydal
Or maybe go JackRipping Bad.

When I sat in the pew in the dark

Zeddo
07-25-2012, 08:07 AM
When I sat in the pew in the dark
From above came a caustic remark

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 08:24 AM
When I sat in the pew in the dark
From above came a caustic remark
"A sinner thou art!"

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 10:41 AM
When I sat in the pew in the dark
From above came a caustic remark
"A sinner thou art!"
I looked up with a start

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 10:57 AM
When I sat in the pew in the dark
From above came a caustic remark
"A sinner thou art!"
I looked up with a start
And saw lightning. My future was stark.

The road twisted downward to Hell

Sir_Nigel
07-25-2012, 01:10 PM
The road twisted downward to Hell
(that hot place where Lucifer fell)

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 02:14 PM
The road twisted downward to Hell
(that hot place where Lucifer fell)
I decided to look

Sir_Nigel
07-25-2012, 02:29 PM
The road twisted downward to Hell
(that hot place where Lucifer fell)
I decided to look
in my Nether World book

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 02:44 PM
The road twisted downward to Hell
(that hot place where Lucifer fell)
I decided to look
in my Nether World book
And that was quite scary, as well.



I went down for a swim in the Med

iLion
07-25-2012, 09:28 PM
I went down for a swim in the Med
To get some sunshine on my head

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 09:42 PM
I went down for a swim in the Med
To get some sunshine on my head
My neck got some, too

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 10:26 PM
I went down for a swim in the Med
To get some sunshine on my head
My neck got some, too,
Not to mention my (ooooh!)

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 11:23 PM
I went down for a swim in the Med
To get some sunshine on my head
My neck got some, too,
Not to mention my (ooooh!)
Well, some stuff is best left unread.



They drove round and round for two hours

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 11:25 PM
They drove round and round for two hours
Through sunshine and hail and some showers

alexaherself
07-25-2012, 11:33 PM
They drove round and round for two hours
Through sunshine and hail and some showers
Then they stopped for a drink

kenthepen
07-25-2012, 11:35 PM
They drove round and round for two hours
Through sunshine and hail and some showers
Then they stopped for a drink
And then six more, I think

Nymtoc
07-25-2012, 11:43 PM
They drove round and round for two hours
Through sunshine and hail and some showers
Then they stopped for a drink
And then six more, I think
They're in hospital now. I'll send flowers.

Magellan went sailing one day

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 12:00 AM
Magellan went sailing one day
And set off to go a long way

kenthepen
07-26-2012, 05:46 AM
Magellan went sailing one day
And set off to go a long way
But his sails were of mesh

Sir_Nigel
07-26-2012, 11:44 AM
Magellan went sailing one day
And set off to go a long way
But his sails were of mesh
and the crew were all nesh*



*look it up

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 02:22 PM
Magellan went sailing one day
And set off to go a long way
But his sails were of mesh
And the crew were all nesh
And barely worth half of their pay.


They managed no distance at all

Sir_Nigel
07-26-2012, 03:03 PM
They managed no distance at all
So the post voyage party was small

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 03:04 PM
They managed no distance at all
So the post voyage party was small
They drank Ouzo and Stout

Matera the Mad
07-26-2012, 03:34 PM
They managed no distance at all
So the post voyage party was small
They drank Ouzo and Stout
And told stories about

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 03:43 PM
They managed no distance at all
So the post voyage party was small
They drank Ouzo and Stout
And told stories about
What they'd all worn at the ball.


They went off to sea yet again

Sir_Nigel
07-26-2012, 03:53 PM
They went off to sea yet again,
hit a small rocky outcrop and then…

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 03:55 PM
They went off to sea yet again,
Hit a small rocky outcrop and then
So many boats sank

Nymtoc
07-26-2012, 05:22 PM
They went off to sea yet again,
Hit a small rocky outcrop and then
So many boats sank
T'was the briny they drank

Meerkat
07-26-2012, 05:24 PM
They went off to sea yet again,
Hit a small rocky outcrop and then
So many boats sank
T'was the briny they drank
Only one hand survived: Gilligan.


The news from Greenland is appalling

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 06:06 PM
The news from Greenland is appalling
In the sea it's all gradually falling

Lavern08
07-26-2012, 06:40 PM
The news from Greenland is appalling
In the sea it's all gradually falling
So you'd better hurry

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 06:55 PM
The news from Greenland is appalling
In the sea it's all gradually falling
So you'd better hurry
Get there (not to Surrey)

iLion
07-26-2012, 08:30 PM
The news from Greenland is appalling
In the sea it's all gradually falling
So you'd better hurry
Get there (not to Surrey)
No need for an invite or calling.

What happens when the world goes broke

Nymtoc
07-26-2012, 08:34 PM
What happens when the world goes broke
Do we throw up our hands and say, "Oke"?

Melina
07-26-2012, 10:03 PM
What happens when the world goes broke
Do we throw up our hands and say, "Oke"?
Should we drink and be merry

Nymtoc
07-26-2012, 10:11 PM
What happens when the world goes broke
Do we throw up our hands and say, "Oke"?
Should we drink and be merry
Sing "Derry down derry"

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 10:22 PM
What happens when the world goes broke
Do we throw up our hands and say, "Oke"?
Should we drink and be merry
Sing "Derry down derry"
Or just sob bitter tears and then choke?



A professional marketing star

Melina
07-26-2012, 10:25 PM
A professional marketing star
Bought herself an impractical car

alexaherself
07-26-2012, 10:38 PM
A professional marketing star
Bought herself an impractical car
It went pretty fast

kenthepen
07-26-2012, 10:56 PM
A professional marketing star
Bought herself an impractical car
It went pretty fast
But its blogs came in last

StephanieFox
07-27-2012, 06:42 AM
A professional marketing star
Bought herself an impractical car
It went pretty fast
But its blogs came in last
When they found out it wouldn't drive far.



The moon rises over the fields

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 09:13 AM
The moon rises over the fields
Stoned on opium these poppies yield

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 01:05 PM
The moon rises over the fields
Stoned on opium these poppies yield
The sun's also high

Nymtoc
07-27-2012, 01:48 PM
The moon rises over the fields
Stoned on opium these poppies yield
The sun's also high
On a mescaline pie

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 03:24 PM
The moon rises over the fields
Stoned on opium these poppies yield
The sun's also high
On a mescaline pie
And that drug-source will soon be revealed.



The forum is going to pot

Nymtoc
07-27-2012, 06:46 PM
The forum is going to pot
The result of a sinister plot

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 07:24 PM
The forum is going to pot
The result of a sinister plot
The members have gone

annetpfeffer
07-27-2012, 09:01 PM
The forum is going to pot
The result of a sinister plot
The members have gone
The posts are a yawn

iLion
07-27-2012, 10:03 PM
The forum is going to pot
The result of a sinister plot
The members have gone
The posts are a yawn
The world is coming to naught.


My dog wears my suits when I'm gone

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 10:06 PM
My dog wears my suits when I'm gone
I caught him with one of them on

iLion
07-27-2012, 10:11 PM
My dog wears my suits when I'm gone
I caught him with one of them on
The pants were all ripped

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 10:18 PM
My dog wears my suits when I'm gone
I caught him with one of them on
The pants were all ripped
His red rocket unzipped

iLion
07-27-2012, 10:26 PM
My dog wears my suits when I'm gone
I caught him with one of them on
The pants were all ripped
His red rocket unzipped
And he spent the whole day in the john.

I'll sail the Caribbean soon

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 10:30 PM
I'll sai the Caribbean soon
Singing swashbuckling piratey tunes

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 10:32 PM
I'll sail the Caribbean soon
Singing swashbuckling piratey tunes
Landlubbers keep out -

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 10:35 PM
I'll sail the Caribbean soon
Singing swashbuckling piratey tunes
Landlubbers keep out-
Or we'll smack yer dumb snout

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 10:38 PM
I'll sail the Caribbean soon
Singing swashbuckling piratey tunes
Landlubbers keep out-
Or we'll smack yer dumb snout
And send you away to Troon.



The sugar I put in this cake

kenthepen
07-27-2012, 10:40 PM
The sugar I put in this cake
Not the kind I usually bake

Nymtoc
07-27-2012, 11:25 PM
:Lecture: We've had several pseudo-rhymes lately, where a plural is rhymed with a singular, or vice-versa. I'll make one up as an example: "piffle/sniffles." This is not good. Let's try to keep our versification pure. :D

The sugar I put in this cake
Not the kind I usually bake
Will please every mouth

CatherineHall
07-27-2012, 11:41 PM
The sugar I put in this cake
Not the kind I usually bake
Will please every mouth
From the north to the south

alexaherself
07-27-2012, 11:46 PM
The sugar I put in this cake
Not the kind I usually bake
Will please every mouth
From the north to the south
Not to mention the great chocolate flake



A flatulent corpulent crook

Zeddo
07-28-2012, 12:34 AM
A flatulent corpulent crook
Stole tons of the Atkins Diet book

CatherineHall
07-28-2012, 04:56 AM
A flatulent corpulent crook
Stole tons of the Atkins Diet book
In hopes to get by

kenthepen
07-28-2012, 05:23 AM
A flatulent corpulent cook
Stole tons of the Atkins diet book
In hopes to get by
With reduced thunderthighs

Nymtoc
07-28-2012, 05:44 AM
:Lecture: We've had several pseudo-rhymes lately, where a plural is rhymed with a singular, or vice-versa. I'll make one up as an example: "piffle/sniffles." This is not good. Let's try to keep our versification pure. :D


"by" and "thunderthighs" do not rhyme. A singular does not rhyme with a plural. I have spoken (again). :Lecture:

A flatulent corpulent cook
Stole tons of the Atkins diet book
In hopes to get by
With reduced thunderthigh
And get there by hook or by crook.

A cat burglar known as '"The Lynx"

kenthepen
07-28-2012, 05:51 AM
*properly, thoroughly spanked*

A cat burglar known as "The Lynx"
Went to steal the nose off the Sphinx

Zeddo
07-28-2012, 08:59 AM
A cat burglar known as "The Lynx"
Went to steal the nose off the Sphinx
But the great schnozz was gone

Nymtoc
07-28-2012, 09:14 AM
A cat burglar known as "The Lynx"
Went to steal the nose off the Sphinx
But the great schnozz was gone
Thanks to Nap's dumb légion

alexaherself
07-28-2012, 02:04 PM
A cat burglar known as "The Lynx"
Went to steal the nose off the Sphinx
But the great schnozz was gone
Thanks to Nap's dumb légion
So he gave up and cried "Well, this stinx".



The captain went down to the port

Zeddo
07-28-2012, 08:04 PM
The captain went down to the port
In a cute little blouse and a skort

alexaherself
07-28-2012, 09:22 PM
The captain went down to the port
In a cute little blouse and a skort
His spelling was poor

CatherineHall
07-29-2012, 12:49 AM
The captain went down to the port
In a cute little blouse and a skort
His spelling was poor
So, to write was a chore

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 12:58 AM
The captain went down to the port
In a cute little blouse and a skort
His spelling was poor
So, to write was a chore
With the din of his men making sport.

The pleated plaid skirt jounced along

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 01:00 AM
The pleated plaid skirt jounced along
Round two legs which were singing a song

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 01:02 AM
The pleated plaid skirt jounced along
Round two legs which were singing a song
As the tune hit my ears

Meerkat
07-29-2012, 01:22 AM
The pleated plaid skirt jounced along
Round two legs which were singing a song
As the tune hit my ears
It confirmed my worst fears

Nymtoc
07-29-2012, 01:27 AM
The pleated plaid skirt jounced along
Round two legs which were singing a song
As the tune hit my ears
It confirmed my worst fears
That I shouldn't have puffed on that bong.

"I'll go seek my fortune!" he cried.

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 01:49 AM
"I'll go seek my fortune!" he cried
"And then I'll attract a nice bride"

CatherineHall
07-29-2012, 02:20 AM
"I'll go seek my fortune!" he cried
"And then I'll attract a nice bride"
"While lady luck whines"

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 03:31 AM
"I'll go seek my fortune!" he cried
"And then I'll attract a nice bride"
"While lady luck whines"
"I'll create valentines!"

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 03:36 AM
"I'll go seek my fortune!" he cried
"And then I'll attract a nice bride
While lady luck whines
I'll create valentines!
And that way at least I'll have tried".



An ophthalmic surgeon called Fred

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 03:40 AM
An opthalmic surgeon called Fred
Stole the lenses from eyes of the dead

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 03:49 AM
An opthalmic surgeon called Fred
Stole the lenses from eyes of the dead
The corneas from cows

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 03:53 AM
An opthalmic surgeon called Fred
Stole the lenses from eyes of the dead
The corneas from cows
Were just right for some chows

Nymtoc
07-29-2012, 05:02 AM
An opthalmic surgeon called Fred
Stole the lenses from eyes of the dead
The corneas from cows
Were just right for some chows
Who spend half their time reading this thread.

Too late he learned she was from Venus

Zeddo
07-29-2012, 06:04 AM
Too late he learned she was from Venus
And warned her, "if anyone's seen us

Nymtoc
07-29-2012, 09:38 AM
Too late he learned she was from Venus
And warned her, "if anyone's seen us
We may have to flee

kenthepen
07-29-2012, 07:55 PM
Too late he learned she was from Venus
And warned her, "If anyone's seen us
We may have to flee
So get ready to be

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 08:11 PM
Too late he learned she was from Venus
And warned her, "If anyone's seen us
We may have to flee
So get ready to be
The pioneer of a new genus.



They told him to stand in a hole

Zeddo
07-29-2012, 09:31 PM
They told him to stand in a hole
And say he'd dug a tunnel from Seoul

alexaherself
07-29-2012, 11:15 PM
They told him to stand in a hole
And say he'd dug a tunnel from Seoul
His Korean was awful

Nymtoc
07-30-2012, 02:56 AM
They told him to stand in a hole
And say he'd dug a tunnel from Seoul
His Korean was awful
Like mouthfuls of waffle

alexaherself
07-30-2012, 03:12 AM
They told him to stand in a hole
And say he'd dug a tunnel from Seoul
His Korean was awful
Like mouthfuls of waffle
So they thought he was really a Pole

He decided to climb up a tree

Lavern08
07-30-2012, 03:32 AM
He decided to climb up a tree
'Cause poor Zaccheus wanted to see

kenthepen
07-30-2012, 06:14 AM
He decided to climb up a tree
'Cause poor Zaccheus wanted to see
This guy Jesus's kicks

Matera the Mad
07-30-2012, 07:54 AM
He decided to climb up a tree
'Cause poor Zaccheus wanted to see
This guy Jesus's kicks
But his eyes played some tricks

Lavern08
07-30-2012, 07:38 PM
He decided to climb up a tree
'Cause poor Zaccheus wanted to see
This guy Jesus's kicks
But his eyes played some tricks
As he slipped while he shouted with glee

All the Pharisees were filled with rage

iLion
07-30-2012, 09:15 PM
All the Pharisees were filled with rage
At the one who was clearly a sage

kenthepen
07-30-2012, 09:19 PM
All the Pharisees were filled with rage
At the one who was clearly a sage
"Oh you think you're so wise

iLion
07-30-2012, 09:30 PM
All the Pharisees were filled with rage
At the one who was clearly a sage
"Oh you think you're so wise
And you call us 'blind guys'

Nymtoc
07-30-2012, 10:15 PM
All the Pharisees were filled with rage
At the one who was clearly a sage
"Oh you think you're so wise
And you call us 'blind guys'
You know what? You belong in a cage."

On the very last day of July

kenthepen
07-30-2012, 11:47 PM
On the very last day of July
I poked Destiny right in the eye

alexaherself
07-30-2012, 11:52 PM
On the very last day of July
I poked Destiny right in the eye
It poked me right back

Melina
07-31-2012, 12:01 AM
On the very last day of July
I poked Destiny right in the eye
It poked me right back
Then it gave me a smack

alexaherself
07-31-2012, 12:03 AM
On the very last day of July
I poked Destiny right in the eye
It poked me right back
Then it gave me a smack
And I still don't quite know how to fly.


The end of the month is now due

Nymtoc
07-31-2012, 12:24 AM
The end of the month is now due
I can't pay my rent. What shall I do?

Melina
07-31-2012, 12:44 AM
The end of the month is now due
I can't pay my rent. What shall I do?
If I don't score some cash

Zeddo
07-31-2012, 12:52 AM
The end of the month is now due
I can't pay my rent. What shall I do?
If I don't score some cash
I'll be out with the trash

alexaherself
07-31-2012, 01:11 AM
The end of the month is now due
I can't pay my rent. What shall I do?
If I don't score some cash
I'll be out with the trash
Oh, it's hard to believe but it's true.


A young girl who traveled abroad

Zeddo
07-31-2012, 02:15 AM
A young girl who traveled abroad
Found in crowds she was quite often pawed

alexaherself
07-31-2012, 02:33 AM
A young girl who traveled abroad
Found in crowds she was quite often pawed
She soon ran away

Melina
07-31-2012, 02:57 AM
A young girl who traveled abroad
Found in crowds she was quite often pawed
She soon ran away
Cause it wasn't okay!

alexaherself
07-31-2012, 02:59 AM
A young girl who traveled abroad
Found in crowds she was quite often pawed
She soon ran away
Cause it wasn't okay!
And just not something to be ignored.



A devious surgeon called Ron

Nymtoc
07-31-2012, 08:15 AM
A devious surgeon called Ron
Used to operate while eating flan

iLion
07-31-2012, 08:08 PM
A devious surgeon called Ron
Used to operate while eating flan
The spills he would hide

alexaherself
07-31-2012, 08:30 PM
A devious surgeon called Ron
Used to operate while eating flan
The spills he would hide
While cutting inside

iLion
07-31-2012, 08:57 PM
A devious surgeon called Ron
Used to operate while eating flan
The spills he would hide
While cutting inside
And distract everyone with a yawn.

And the nurse who was known for her wits

Nymtoc
07-31-2012, 10:23 PM
And the nurse who was known for her wits
Entertained docs by doing the splits

Melina
07-31-2012, 10:50 PM
And the nurse who was known for her wits
Entertained docs by doing the splits
Kept the patients in stitches

kenthepen
07-31-2012, 10:54 PM
And the nurse who was known for her wits
Entertained docs by doing the splits
Kept the patients in stitches
While removing their britches

alexaherself
08-01-2012, 02:51 AM
And the nurse who was known for her wits
Entertained docs by doing the splits
Kept the patients in stitches
While removing their britches
And all in a suite at the Ritz.



The problem with living is life

Zeddo
08-01-2012, 03:49 AM
The problem with living is life
You get wrinkles and plenty of strife

Pthom
08-01-2012, 04:01 AM
The problem with living is life
You get wrinkles and plenty of strife
When your ear lobes and nose

annetpfeffer
08-01-2012, 06:10 AM
The problem with living is life
You get wrinkles and plenty of strife
When your ear lobes and nose
Are as red as a rose

kenthepen
08-01-2012, 06:44 AM
The problem with living is life
You get wrinkles and plenty of strife
When your ear lobes and nose
Are as red as a rose
And your toenails as sharp as a knife.

Everyone likes sweet Marie

Nymtoc
08-01-2012, 07:35 AM
Everyone likes sweet Marie
For one thing, her kisses are free

Zeddo
08-01-2012, 08:24 AM
Everyone likes sweet Marie
For one thing, her kisses are free
But for anything more

alexaherself
08-01-2012, 05:12 PM
Everyone likes sweet Marie
For one thing, her kisses are free
But for anything more
You pay at the door

Melina
08-01-2012, 08:54 PM
Everyone likes sweet Marie
For one thing, her kisses are free
But for anything more
You pay at the door
Tho' it's only a nominal fee



I'm quite sure my cat is bulimic

kenthepen
08-01-2012, 11:38 PM
I'm quite sure my cat is bulimic
'Cause the vomit's too rank to be dream ick

Melina
08-02-2012, 01:04 AM
I'm quite sure my cat is bulimic
'Cause the vomit's too rank to be dream ick
Every morning on cue

annetpfeffer
08-02-2012, 06:42 AM
I'm quite sure my cat is bulimic
'Cause the vomit's too rank to be dream ick
Every morning on cue
She throws up in my shoe

Matera the Mad
08-02-2012, 07:32 AM
I'm quite sure my cat is bulimic
'Cause the vomit's too rank to be dream ick
Every morning on cue
She throws up in my shoe
-- an experience much too systemic!


Oh my goodness I've swallowed a toothpick!

alexaherself
08-02-2012, 05:59 PM
Oh my goodness I've swallowed a toothpick!
I promise I'm telling the truthpick

Nymtoc
08-02-2012, 06:05 PM
Oh my goodness I've swallowed a toothpick!
I promise I'm telling the truthpick
It's stuck in my throat

alexaherself
08-02-2012, 08:33 PM
Oh my goodness I've swallowed a toothpick!
I promise I'm telling the truthpick.
It's stuck in my throat,
Feels as big as a boat

iLion
08-02-2012, 09:06 PM
Oh my goodness I've swallowed a toothpick!
I promise I'm telling the truthpick.
It's stuck in my throat,
Feels as big as a boat
And my death's gonna be so uncouthpick.

I walk my pet fish every day.

Zeddo
08-02-2012, 10:01 PM
I walk my pet fish every day
But he complains each step of the way

alexaherself
08-02-2012, 10:05 PM
I walk my pet fish every day
But he complains each step of the way
His gills flap about

kenthepen
08-02-2012, 11:01 PM
I walk my pet fish every day
But he complains each step of the way
His gills flap about
And his fins get worn out

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 12:31 AM
I walk my pet fish every day
But he complains each step of the way
His gills flap about
And his fins get worn out
And his tail grows increasingly gray.

The swimming pool's dry as a bone

kenthepen
08-03-2012, 02:23 AM
The swimming pool's dry as a bone
Since my Mother-in-law swam alone

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 02:50 AM
The swimming pool's dry as a bone
Since my Mother-in-law swam alone
The water ran out

CatherineHall
08-03-2012, 05:00 AM
The swimming pool's dry as a bone
Since my Mother-in-law swam alone
The water ran out
Somehow flooded the house

In some circles, this is a rhyme...same vowel sounds.

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 05:30 AM
:Lecture: Looks like it's time for another lesson, kiddies. "House" does not rhyme with "out." Let's try to be good rhymesters, shall we? Otherwise, somebody may get slapped on the wrist. ;)

The swimming pool's dry as a bone
Since my Mother-in-law swam alone
The water ran out
Now not even a trout
Could begin to call this place its own.

I don't know which road I should follow

kenthepen
08-03-2012, 05:39 AM
I don't know which road I should follow
To the mountain or down in the hollow?

Zeddo
08-03-2012, 06:24 AM
I don't know which road I should follow
To the mountain or down in the hollow?
If I'd bought GPS

CatherineHall
08-03-2012, 07:10 AM
I don't know which road I should follow
To the mountain or down in the hollow?
If I'd bought GPS
I'd be forced to confess

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 07:25 AM
I don't know which road I should follow
To the mountain or down in the hollow?
If I'd bought GPS
I'd be forced to confess
I don't know San Jose from Săo Paulo.

"He murdered his wife!" people said.

CatherineHall
08-03-2012, 07:37 AM
"He murdered his wife!" people said.
When they found her at home lying dead

Zeddo
08-03-2012, 08:46 AM
"He murdered his wife!" people said.
When they found her at home lying dead
"Self-defense," he replied

kenthepen
08-03-2012, 08:57 AM
"He murdered his wife!" people said
When they found her at home lying dead
"Self-defense," he replied
As he crocodile-cried

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 09:08 AM
"He murdered his wife!" people said
When they found her at home lying dead
"Self-defense," he replied
As he crocodile-cried
Now a bunk on Death Row is his bed.

She drank margaritas all day

kenthepen
08-03-2012, 09:12 AM
She drank margaritas all day
As she watched her six pool boys at play

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 02:24 PM
She drank margaritas all day
As she watched her six pool boys at play
They served her so well

archerjoe
08-03-2012, 03:56 PM
She drank margaritas all day
As she watched her six pool boys at play
They served her so well
She said "What the hell!"

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 06:47 PM
She drank margaritas all day
As she watched her six pool boys at play
They served her so well
She said "What the hell!
I surely won't send them away."




The third time of trying is best

Zeddo
08-03-2012, 07:40 PM
The third time of trying is best
Though between times you may need a rest

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 08:25 PM
The third time of trying is best
Though between times you may need a rest
Just twice is no good

archerjoe
08-03-2012, 09:13 PM
The third time of trying is best
Though between times you may need a rest
Just twice is no good
And so, knock on wood,

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 09:40 PM
The third time of trying is best
Though between times you may need a rest
Just twice is no good
And so, knock on wood,
Have a triple attempt - with zest.



If you can't go to sea on a ship

iLion
08-03-2012, 09:54 PM
If you can't go to sea on a ship
Grab your Speedo and have a nice dip

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 10:00 PM
If you can't go to sea on a ship
Grab your Speedo and have a nice dip
But don't swim too far

kenthepen
08-03-2012, 10:15 PM
If you can't go to sea on a ship
Grab your Speedo and go for a dip
But don't go too far
Or you'll hit a sand bar

Nymtoc
08-03-2012, 10:49 PM
If you can't go to sea on a ship
Grab your Speedo and go for a dip
But don't go too far
Or you'll hit a sand bar
And you'll break your big toe or your hip.

I haven't seen Yorick of late

alexaherself
08-03-2012, 11:01 PM
I haven't seen Yorick of late
And have heard that he's not feeling great

Zeddo
08-04-2012, 02:18 AM
I haven't seen Yorick of late
And have heard that he's not feeling great
But he still gives a grin

alexaherself
08-04-2012, 03:08 AM
I haven't seen Yorick of late
And have heard that he's not feeling great
But he still gives a grin
Though his bones have gone thin

kenthepen
08-04-2012, 07:33 AM
I haven't seen Yorick of late
And I've heard that he's not feeling great
But he still gives a grin
Though his bones have gone thin
And his hair's quite deserted his pate.

If Hamlet had still seen his shrink

Nymtoc
08-04-2012, 08:39 AM
If Hamlet had still seen his shrink
Chances are that he'd be in the pink

kenthepen
08-04-2012, 08:54 AM
If Hamlet had still seen his shrink
Chances are that he'd be in the pink
And not be this clenched

Nymtoc
08-04-2012, 09:11 AM
If Hamlet had still seen his shrink
Chances are that he'd be in the pink
And not be this clenched
Sicko, drenched

alexaherself
08-04-2012, 07:09 PM
If Hamlet had still seen his shrink
Chances are that he'd be in the pink
And not be this clenched
Sicko, drenched
Though his uncle might still be a fink.



T.S. Eliot was quite at a loss

kenthepen
08-04-2012, 11:44 PM
T. S. Eliot was quite at a loss
Tangled up in his own dental floss

alexaherself
08-05-2012, 12:49 AM
T. S. Eliot was quite at a loss
Tangled up in his own dental floss.
With his molars askew

Matera the Mad
08-05-2012, 06:59 AM
T. S. Eliot was quite at a loss
Tangled up in his own dental floss.
With his molars askew
He could bite, but not chew,

Zeddo
08-05-2012, 07:47 AM
T. S. Eliot was quite at a loss
Tangled up in his own dental floss.
With his molars askew
He could bite, but not chew,
So he ate only barbecue sauce.


Art made two thousand hot dogs each day

Nymtoc
08-05-2012, 07:54 AM
T. S. Eliot was quite at a loss
Tangled up in his own dental floss.
With his molars askew
He could bite, but not chew,
So he ate only barbecue sauce.


Art made two thousand hot dogs each day
But the customers all stayed away

kenthepen
08-05-2012, 08:24 AM
Art made two thousand hot dogs a day
But the customers all stayed away
So he built him a fort

alexaherself
08-05-2012, 02:20 PM
Art made two thousand hot dogs a day
But the customers all stayed away
So he built him a fort
And said "Well, I ought

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 01:06 AM
Art made two thousand hot dogs a day
But the customers all stayed away
So he built him a fort
And said "Well, I ought
To make edible lincoln logs pay."

His yoyo would only go up

Nymtoc
08-06-2012, 01:28 AM
His yoyo would only go up
From the day it was chewed by his pup

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 01:31 AM
His yoyo would only go up
From the day it was chewed by his pup
Somehow gravity-free

Zeddo
08-06-2012, 01:33 AM
Deleted

alexaherself
08-06-2012, 01:58 AM
His yoyo would only go up
From the day it was chewed by his pup
Somehow gravity-free
It rolled up a tree

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 03:10 AM
His yoyo would only go up
From the day it was chewed by his pup
Somehow gravity-free
It rolled up a tree
And invited a squirrel for a cup.

If a comet should streak through the sky

Zeddo
08-06-2012, 04:52 AM
If a comet should streak through the sky
It's a sign that the earth's end is nigh

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 04:55 AM
If a comet should streak through the sky
It's a sign that earth's end is nigh
So make peace with with your God

archerjoe
08-06-2012, 05:56 AM
If a comet should streak through the sky
It's a sign that earth's end is nigh
So make peace with with your God
And kiss the auld sod

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 05:59 AM
If a comet should streak through the sky
It's a sign that the earth's end is nigh
So make peace with your God
and kiss the auld sod
And then kiss your own ass good-bye.

The elephant gave me a start

Zeddo
08-06-2012, 06:37 AM
The elephant gave me a start
When he stood and recited by heart

Nymtoc
08-06-2012, 06:53 AM
The elephant gave me a start
When he stood and recited by heart
A Tennyson ode

Matera the Mad
08-06-2012, 07:20 AM
The elephant gave me a start
When he stood and recited by heart
A Tennyson ode
In a quaint, archaic mode

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 08:04 AM
The elephant gave me a start
When he stood and recited by heart
A Tennyson ode
In a quaint, archaic mode
Then concluded with elephant fart.

If I never had seen what I saw

Nymtoc
08-06-2012, 10:35 AM
If I never had seen what I saw
I wouldn't have broken the law

LauraAnnSwanson
08-06-2012, 11:09 AM
If I never had seen what I saw
I wouldn't have broken the law
But I did what I did

iLion
08-06-2012, 08:48 PM
If I never had seen what I saw
I wouldn't have broken the law
But I did what I did
And I don't give a shid

Nymtoc
08-06-2012, 09:44 PM
If I never had seen what I saw
I wouldn't have broken the law
But I did what I did
And I don't give a shid
Or a fug either, not anymaw.

There once was a tailor called Tim

kenthepen
08-06-2012, 09:46 PM
There once was a tailor called Tim
A robust man of vigor and vim

alexaherself
08-06-2012, 10:58 PM
There once was a tailor called Tim
A robust man of vigor and vim
His clients were rich

CatherineHall
08-06-2012, 11:32 PM
There once was a tailor called Tim
A robust man of vigor and vim
His clients were rich
At the Boutique Eldrich

alexaherself
08-07-2012, 01:37 AM
There once was a tailor called Tim
A robust man of vigor and vim
His clients were rich
At the Boutique Eldrich
But some of their suits were quite grim.



On Wednesdays I don't work too hard

Nymtoc
08-07-2012, 04:13 AM
On Wednesdays I don't work too hard
As a poet, I'm too avant-garde

kenthepen
08-07-2012, 08:20 AM
On Wednesdays I don't work too hard
As a poet, I'm too avant-garde
I expectorate words

Zeddo
08-07-2012, 08:30 AM
On Wednesdays I don't work too hard
As a poet, I'm too avant-garde
I expectorate words
Too long by two-thirds

Nymtoc
08-07-2012, 09:37 AM
On Wednesdays I don't work too hard
As a poet, I'm too avant-garde
I expectorate words
Too long by two-thirds
But that's natural, since I'm a bard.

She lives by herself in a tree

Zeddo
08-07-2012, 09:47 AM
She lives by herself in a tree
Which she climbed when she was thirty-three

Nymtoc
08-07-2012, 10:50 AM
She lives by herself in a tree
Which she climbed when she reached thirty-three*
Her bed is a nest





*changed this line because the meter was a little off. :)

alexaherself
08-07-2012, 07:12 PM
She lives by herself in a tree
Which she climbed when she reached thirty-three
Her bed is a nest
She wears a pink vest,

Lavern08
08-07-2012, 08:09 PM
She lives by herself in a tree
Which she climbed when she reached thirty-three
Her bed is a nest
She wears a pink vest,
And sits on a limb and drinks tea.

I'm running away said the cat