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Unique
02-15-2006, 04:38 PM
If the sharks keep on eating our tourists
Then PETA will freak (they're such purists)

NeuroFizz
02-15-2006, 05:08 PM
If the sharks keep on eating our tourists
Then PETA will freak (they're such purists)
For sharks have more value

threedogpeople
02-16-2006, 02:50 AM
If the sharks keep on eating our tourists
Then PETA will freak (they're such purists)
For sharks have more value
depending on milieux

poetinahat
02-16-2006, 03:10 AM
If the sharks keep on eating our tourists
Then PETA will freak (they're such purists)
For sharks have more value
depending on milieux
than the Livestrong bands you've got on your wrists

I used to get drunk at the theatre

Meaney
02-16-2006, 03:52 AM
I used to get drunk at the theatre.
The ticket girl, when I screamed "free!" at her,

trumancoyote
02-16-2006, 03:54 AM
I used to get drunk at the theatre.
The ticket girl, when I screamed "free!" at her,
said what the ****?

Unique
02-16-2006, 03:55 AM
I used to get drunk at the theatre.
The ticket girl, when I screamed "free!" at her,
said what the ****?
and started to duck

threedogpeople
02-16-2006, 05:58 AM
I used to get drunk at the theatre.
The ticket girl, when I screamed "free!" at her,
said what the ****?
and started to duck.
Now, my drinking is all just a blurr.

I wish I could show you this sunset,

Pthom
02-16-2006, 07:32 AM
I wish I could show you this sunset,
the one I can see from my Quonset.

poetinahat
02-16-2006, 03:41 PM
I wish I could show you this sunset,
the one I can see from my Quonset.
Electric pastels

Meaney
02-16-2006, 05:06 PM
I wish I could show you this sunset,
the one I can see from my Quonset.
Electric pastels
marred by drunk a$$holes

poetinahat
02-17-2006, 08:25 AM
I wish I could show you this sunset,
the one I can see from my Quonset.
Electric pastels
marred by drunk a$$holes
Look -- a mark in the sand where my buns set!

A crack in the Brandenburg Gate

PrettySpecialGal
02-17-2006, 08:53 AM
A crack in the Brandenburg Gate
Is a sign of Berlin's coming fate

Pthom
02-19-2006, 04:15 AM
A crack in the Brandenburg Gate
Is a sign of Berlin's coming fate.
But this Thursday, at three,

Meaney
02-19-2006, 09:07 AM
A crack in the Brandenburg Gate
Is a sign of Berlin's coming fate.
But this Thursday, at three,
they'll seal it with ghee

PrettySpecialGal
02-19-2006, 09:16 AM
A crack in the Brandenburg Gate
Is a sign of Berlin's coming fate.
But this Thursday, at three,
they'll seal it with ghee
and hope that they're not too too late.


The conversation of late on the board

Meaney
02-19-2006, 10:17 AM
The conversation of late on the board
is concerning the Oslo Accord

Unique
02-19-2006, 10:05 PM
The conversation of late on the board
is concerning the Oslo Accord
Some couldn't do it

poetinahat
02-20-2006, 05:25 AM
The conversation of late on the board
is concerning the Oslo Accord
Some couldn't do it
and would rather eschew it

Pthom
02-20-2006, 07:47 AM
The conversation of late on the board
is concerning the Oslo Accord
Some couldn't do it
and would rather eschew it
Than be found soaking wet in a fjörd!

Look out, our thread may go elsewhere!

Meaney
02-20-2006, 08:33 AM
Look out, our thread may go elsewhere!
What meanest thou, Pthom? Do declare.

poetinahat
02-20-2006, 08:58 AM
Look out, our thread may go elsewhere!
What meanest thou, Pthom? Do declare.
To the Poetry Forum

AdamH
02-20-2006, 09:01 AM
Look out, our thread may go elsewhere!
What meanest thou, Pthom? Do declare.
To the Poetry Forum
Where there's better decorum

PrettySpecialGal
02-20-2006, 09:56 AM
Look out, our thread may go elsewhere!
What meanest thou, Pthom? Do declare.
To the Poetry Forum
Where there's better decorum
But no one there has any hair


Rhymegirl may be the exception

Meaney
02-20-2006, 03:46 PM
Rhymegirl may be the exception
her extrasensory perception               [sorta gotta pronounce it like "sen-SUR-ry"] :o

NeuroFizz
02-20-2006, 05:28 PM
Rhymegirl may be the exception
her extrasensory perception  
bristles and spikes             

Yeshanu
02-20-2006, 10:07 PM
Rhymegirl may be the exception
her extrasensory perception  
bristles and spikes
like spokes in kids' bikes

Unique
02-20-2006, 10:33 PM
Rhymegirl may be the exception
her extrasensory perception  
bristles and spikes
like spokes in kids' bikes
dazzle us in broken reflection.

But you know, my buddy's an ace

NeuroFizz
02-20-2006, 11:10 PM
But you know, my buddy's an ace
to his parents, a major disgrace

poetinahat
02-21-2006, 02:29 AM
But you know, my buddy's an ace
to his parents, a major disgrace
But the local tattooist

trumancoyote
02-21-2006, 02:52 AM
But you know, my buddy's an ace
to his parents, a major disgrace
But the local tattooist
(I think he was Jewisht)

poetinahat
02-21-2006, 06:45 AM
But you know, my buddy's an ace
to his parents, a major disgrace
But the local tattooist
(I think he was Jewisht)
gave him 10% off a Full-Face...

These pretzels are making me thirsty

Meaney
02-21-2006, 06:47 AM
What's wrong with "newest"?

poetinahat
02-21-2006, 06:49 AM
I think it's funny...

Meaney
02-21-2006, 06:50 AM
These pretzels are making me thirsty
and my breath is all garlic bratwurst-y

Meaney
02-21-2006, 06:55 AM
I think it's funny...
Well, it was salvaged by the closing line. 10% off a full-face is funny.

poetinahat
02-21-2006, 09:06 AM
These pretzels are making me thirsty
and my breath is all garlic bratwurst-y
So replenish my stein

trumancoyote
02-21-2006, 09:29 AM
These pretzels are making me thirsty
and my breath is all garlic bratwurst-y
So replenish my stein
This is the next line

Pthom
02-22-2006, 12:42 AM
These pretzels are making me thirsty
and my breath is all garlic bratwurst-y
So replenish my stein
This is the next line
And we'll drink till our rhymes aren't so worst-y.

(If Jewisht can make it, so can worst-y, right?)
:: shrug ::

There once was a feminine rhyme

Yeshanu
02-22-2006, 02:50 AM
There once was a feminine rhyme
Who's rhythm was very sublime

poetinahat
02-22-2006, 05:43 AM
There once was a feminine rhyme
Who's rhythm was very sublime
'til a male preposition

PrettySpecialGal
02-22-2006, 08:28 AM
There once was a feminine rhyme
Who's rhythm was very sublime
'til a male preposition
adjusted position

NeuroFizz
02-22-2006, 05:16 PM
There once was a feminine rhyme
Who's rhythm was very sublime
'til a male preposition
adjusted position
And the last line came out in mime


When the low hanging fruit is all gone

threedogpeople
02-22-2006, 07:45 PM
When the low hanging fruit is all gone
and your balance sheet looks like a yawn

Yeshanu
02-22-2006, 10:46 PM
When the low hanging fruit is all gone
and your balance sheet looks like a yawn
Then pick up your socks

Pthom
02-23-2006, 04:37 AM
When the low hanging fruit is all gone
and your balance sheet looks like a yawn
Then pick up your socks
Have some gin on the rocks

poetinahat
02-23-2006, 09:08 AM
When the low hanging fruit is all gone
and your balance sheet looks like a yawn
Then pick up your socks
Have some gin on the rocks
And join us for boules on the lawn

The Tanqueray tickertape tourney

trumancoyote
02-23-2006, 09:45 AM
The Tanqueray tickertape tourney,
judged by Bert and Ernie,

PattiTheWicked
02-23-2006, 09:45 PM
The Tanqueray tickertape tourney,
judged by Bert and Ernie,
drew in a crowd

Pthom
02-24-2006, 01:51 AM
The Tanqueray tickertape tourney,
judged by Bert and Ernie,
drew in a crowd
loud, very loud!

poetinahat
02-24-2006, 01:56 AM
The Tanqueray tickertape tourney,
judged by Bert and Ernie,
drew in a crowd
loud, very loud!
My virgin ears left on a gurney.

O flatulent, singing guitar,

NeuroFizz
02-24-2006, 01:58 AM
O flatulent, singing guitar,
staccato rudeness amplified far

Pthom
02-24-2006, 02:40 AM
flatulent guitar? huh?

poetinahat
02-24-2006, 02:56 AM
Haven't you ever heard of 'feedback'?

Now c'mon and throw us a line.

Unique
02-24-2006, 03:00 AM
O flatulent, singing guitar,
staccato rudeness amplified far
and the singing of strings

trumancoyote
02-24-2006, 03:02 AM
O flatulent, singing guitar,
staccato rudeness amplified far
and the singing of strings,
the reeking of beans,

PattiTheWicked
02-24-2006, 03:32 AM
O flatulent, singing guitar,
staccato rudeness amplified far
and the singing of strings,
the reeking of beans,
Sent me driving away in my car.

Fortescue Fondant the Fourth

Pthom
02-24-2006, 05:21 AM
Yeah, I've heard of feedback--have even heard feedback. But I never heard any that I'd call flatulent. Nonetheless, the poem was completed before I could throw out anything ... or open a window.

Fortescue Fondant the Fourth
Came from the land to the north.

Unique
02-24-2006, 05:22 AM
Fortescue Fondant the Fourth
Came from the land to the north.
While seeking a star

PrettySpecialGal
02-24-2006, 05:49 AM
Fortescue Fondant the Fourth
Came from the land to the north.
While seeking a star
He walked into a bar

poetinahat
02-24-2006, 06:00 AM
Fortescue Fondant the Fourth
Came from the land to the north.
While seeking a star
He walked into a bar
and said, "Yes! He shooteth... he scoreth!"

A magnum of Kenyan champagne

PrettySpecialGal
02-24-2006, 06:08 AM
A magnum of Kenyan champagne
Was sent overseas on a plane

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-24-2006, 08:36 AM
A magnum of Kenyan champagne
Was sent overseas on a plane
Everywhere it did burst

NeuroFizz
02-24-2006, 08:15 PM
A magnum of Kenyan champagne
Was sent overseas on a plane
Everywhere it did burst
without quenching thirst

oswann
02-24-2006, 08:32 PM
A magnum of Kenyan champagne
Was sent overseas on a plane
Everywhere it did burst
Without quenching thirst
Much to the passengers disdain.



Os.


A prissy old spinster from Bath

PattiTheWicked
02-24-2006, 08:41 PM
A prissy old spinster from Bath
With unladylike grumbles of wrath

Yeshanu
02-24-2006, 08:58 PM
A prissy old spinster from Bath
With unladylike grumbles of wrath
Exclaimed to her friend

NeuroFizz
02-24-2006, 09:09 PM
A prissy old spinster from Bath
With unladylike grumbles of wrath
Exclaimed to her friend
my bum's on the mend

PattiTheWicked
02-24-2006, 10:03 PM
A prissy old spinster from Bath
With unladylike grumbles of wrath
Exclaimed to her friend
my bum's on the mend
Those 'roids were a pain in the ath!!

Although she was near eighty-two,

trumancoyote
02-25-2006, 01:45 AM
Although she was near eighty-two,
her teats were as stubborn as glue

NeuroFizz
02-25-2006, 02:05 AM
Although she was near eighty-two,
her teats were as stubborn as glue
they'd stick to each other

trumancoyote
02-25-2006, 02:08 AM
Although she was near eighty-two,
her teats were as stubborn as glue
they'd stick to each other
nip-locked like lovers

threedogpeople
02-25-2006, 05:01 AM
Although she was near eighty-two,
her teats were as stubborn as glue
they'd stick to each other
nip-locked like lovers
'till hubby makes one into two.

Her face was a roadmap of worry,

PattiTheWicked
02-25-2006, 06:33 AM
Her face was a roadmap of worry,
for the years had passed by in a hurry.

Yeshanu
02-25-2006, 06:48 AM
Her face was a roadmap of worry,
for the years had passed by in a hurry.
Two husbands, four kids

Roger J Carlson
02-25-2006, 06:54 AM
Her face was a roadmap of worry,
for the years had passed by in a hurry.
Two husbands, four kids
Left her life on the skids

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-25-2006, 07:12 AM
Her face was a roadmap of worry,
for the years had passed by in a hurry.
Two husbands, four kids
Left her life on the skids
And the booze made her vision quite blurry




A boisterous and crabby old coot

Roger J Carlson
02-25-2006, 07:28 AM
A boisterous and crabby old coot
Gave her slovenly husband the boot

PattiTheWicked
02-25-2006, 07:52 AM
A boisterous and crabby old coot
Gave her slovenly husband the boot
When the pool boy came by

oswann
02-25-2006, 12:31 PM
A boisterous and crabby old coot
Gave her slovenly husband the boot
When the pool boy came by
She exclaimed "Me oh my!"

poetinahat
02-25-2006, 03:52 PM
A boisterous and crabby old coot
Gave her slovenly husband the boot
When the pool boy came by
She exclaimed "Me oh my!
Now there's a trombone I could toot..."

The baronet's simpering lackey

PattiTheWicked
02-25-2006, 06:41 PM
The baronet's simpering lackey
Said "Dahling, that's just a bit tacky."

threedogpeople
02-26-2006, 10:50 AM
The baronet's simpering lackey
Said "Dahling, that's just a bit tacky."
red plaid and green stripes

Pthom
02-27-2006, 04:04 AM
The baronet's simpering lackey
Said "Dahling, that's just a bit tacky.
Red plaid and green stripes
Go with lumberjack types,

poetinahat
02-27-2006, 04:09 AM
The baronet's simpering lackey
Said "Dahling, that's just a bit tacky.
Red plaid and green stripes
Go with lumberjack types,
and you, dear, look better in khaki."

I'm out on Bikini Patrol

Pthom
02-27-2006, 05:44 AM
I'm out on Bikini Patrol.
(No, not the atomic atoll.)

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-27-2006, 06:55 AM
I'm out on Bikini Patrol.
(No, not the atomic atoll.)
Who's that in a thong?

PrettySpecialGal
02-27-2006, 07:38 AM
I'm out on Bikini Patrol.
(No, not the atomic atoll.)
Who's that in a thong?
I might say- it's just wrong...

threedogpeople
02-27-2006, 10:14 AM
I'm out on Bikini Patrol.
(No, not the atomic atoll.)
Who's that in a thong?
I might say- it's just wrong...
a bum like the Hollywood Bowl.

How far can spandex give way?

PrettySpecialGal
02-27-2006, 10:28 AM
How far can spandex give way?
"Pretty far," I've heard others say

poetinahat
02-27-2006, 03:05 PM
How far can spandex give way?
"Pretty far," I've heard others say
But there are side effects

Melina
02-27-2006, 08:15 PM
How far can spandex give way?
"Pretty far," I've heard others say
But there are side effects
that resemble train wrecks

PattiTheWicked
02-27-2006, 08:49 PM
How far can spandex give way?
"Pretty far," I've heard others say
But there are side effects
that resemble train wrecks
And send passers-by running away.

Another bad fashion mistake

NeuroFizz
02-27-2006, 08:55 PM
Another bad fashion mistake
Hawaiian shirt at a relative's wake

Shiraz
02-27-2006, 09:16 PM
Another bad fashion mistake
Hawaiian shirt at a relative's wake
Though the flowers aren't lei'd

Yeshanu
02-27-2006, 09:19 PM
Another bad fashion mistake
Hawaiian shirt at a relative's wake
Though the flowers aren't lei'd
I should still be afraid

PattiTheWicked
02-27-2006, 09:27 PM
Another bad fashion mistake
Hawaiian shirt at a relative's wake
Though the flowers aren't lei'd
I should still be afraid
if the hula girls started to shake.

A pair of moon boots on your feet

Shiraz
02-27-2006, 10:13 PM
A pair of moon boots on your feet
Is needed when snow in the street

NeuroFizz
02-27-2006, 11:25 PM
A pair of moon boots on your feet
Is needed when snow in the street
But you wear them to bed

Shiraz
02-27-2006, 11:52 PM
A pair of moon boots on your feet
Is needed when snow in the street
But you wear them to bed
"No, no!" mother said.

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-28-2006, 12:05 AM
A pair of moon boots on your feet
Is needed when snow in the street
But you wear them to bed
"No, no!" mother said.
"In sleep you'll retain too much heat."



Now that Jack's showered and shaved

Shiraz
02-28-2006, 12:08 AM
Now that Jack's showered and shaved
And remarkably well-behaved

poetinahat
02-28-2006, 03:18 AM
Now that Jack's showered and shaved
And remarkably well-behaved
He might be forgiven

PrettySpecialGal
02-28-2006, 03:40 AM
Now that Jack's showered and shaved
And remarkably well-behaved
He might be forgiven
For makin' a livin'

trumancoyote
02-28-2006, 03:47 AM
Now that Jack's showered and shaved
And remarkably well-behaved
He might be forgiven
For makin' a livin'
defendin' that ****er, James Frey.

Pthom
02-28-2006, 04:17 AM
Yer oven's a few degrees cool, truman: Yer 's'posed to provide the next line, podner.

trumancoyote
02-28-2006, 04:21 AM
My apologies.

My oven's a few degrees cold

Unique
02-28-2006, 05:28 AM
My oven's a few degrees cold
The frig's hirsute growing mold

poetinahat
02-28-2006, 06:57 AM
My oven's a few degrees cold
The frig's hirsute growing mold
and my blender? - don't ask

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-28-2006, 07:07 AM
My oven's a few degrees cold
The frig's hirsute growing mold
and my blender? - don't ask
It wasn't up to the task

PrettySpecialGal
02-28-2006, 08:16 AM
My oven's a few degrees cold
The frig's hirsute growing mold
and my blender? - don't ask
It wasn't up to the task
Neither am I- so I'm told!


While dancing around in the kitchen

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-28-2006, 08:49 AM
While dancing around in the kitchen
PSG got nekkid without flinchin'

poetinahat
02-28-2006, 09:51 AM
While dancing around in the kitchen
PSG got nekkid without flinchin'
And the real coup de grace

Pthom
02-28-2006, 11:59 AM
While dancing around in the kitchen
PSG got nekkid without flinchin'
And the real coup de grace
Warn't the egg on her face

Meaney
02-28-2006, 03:58 PM
While dancing around in the kitchen
PSG got nekkid without flinchin'
And the real coup de grace
Warn't the egg on her face
'Twars the holes in her soles she was stitchin'.

I like that "egg on her face" when pronounced to rhyme with "coup de grace."

This tattoo don't look like it should...

Unique
02-28-2006, 05:10 PM
This tattoo don't look like it should...
It covers my neck like a hood

Shiraz
02-28-2006, 05:29 PM
This tattoo don't look like it should...
It covers my neck like a hood
In colors of black, red, and green

NeuroFizz
02-28-2006, 05:42 PM
This tattoo don't look like it should...
It covers my neck like a hood
In colors of black, red, and green
and a septic sheen

Prosthetic Foreheads
02-28-2006, 11:54 PM
This tattoo don't look like it should...
It covers my neck like a hood
In colors of black, red, and green
and a septic sheen
Who told me that tat artist was good?




One of these days you'll get laid

Roger J Carlson
03-01-2006, 12:08 AM
One of these days you'll get laid
Without even having it paid

Shiraz
03-01-2006, 12:30 AM
One of these days you'll get laid
Without even having it paid
But watch out for sleaze

NeuroFizz
03-01-2006, 12:33 AM
One of these days you'll get laid
Without even having it paid
But watch out for sleaze
and the genital sneeze

Shiraz
03-01-2006, 01:25 AM
One of these days you'll get laid
Without even having it paid
But watch out for sleaze
and the genital sneeze
and the offer to take it in trade.

Spring is on its way

poetinahat
03-01-2006, 03:16 AM
Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play

trumancoyote
03-01-2006, 03:32 AM
Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-01-2006, 03:51 AM
Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
And put away your po-po

Yeshanu
03-01-2006, 04:24 AM
Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
Relax! Don't go loco

poetinahat
03-01-2006, 08:33 AM
Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
And put away your po-po (relax, don't go loco)
and slide on your sled while ye may

A painter was dipping his brush

PrettySpecialGal
03-01-2006, 08:56 AM
A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-01-2006, 09:47 AM
A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush
He tripped and fell down

Pthom
03-02-2006, 01:56 AM
A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush
He tripped and fell down
Stuck his foot in the brown

Shiraz
03-02-2006, 02:10 AM
A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush
He tripped and fell down
Stuck his foot in the brown
And his beautiful canvas, he did crush.

I once met a man in the park

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-02-2006, 03:04 AM
I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark

poetinahat
03-02-2006, 03:07 AM
I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-02-2006, 03:13 AM
I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella
He pointed to his little fella

poetinahat
03-02-2006, 03:19 AM
I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella
He pointed to his little fella
and said, "How ya like my bookmark?"

I can't understand Dr. Phil

PrettySpecialGal
03-02-2006, 03:27 AM
I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-02-2006, 03:34 AM
I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill
His moustache and bald head

poetinahat
03-02-2006, 06:20 AM
I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill
His moustache and bald head
look like Pringle's Can Ted*



* (let's just pretend that's his name)

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-02-2006, 07:03 AM
I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill
His moustache and bald head
look like Pringle's Can Ted*
And with plenty of bullsh*t he's filled**

**(no pretending necessary)

A dirty old man and his maid

Pthom
03-03-2006, 11:24 AM
A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid

NeuroFizz
03-03-2006, 05:12 PM
A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong

poetinahat
03-03-2006, 05:14 PM
A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong
with the end of his schlong

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-04-2006, 12:58 AM
A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong
with the end of his schlong
She gasped, "That's quite nice," and she stayed.




A night on the town's what Fred needs

Stew21
03-04-2006, 01:04 AM
A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads

Meaney
03-04-2006, 02:17 AM
A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads
but his wife, she objects

trumancoyote
03-04-2006, 02:33 AM
[A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads
but his wife, she objects...
but then again, she's a woman, so why listen to her, because, really, who listens to women? -- especially when they object.

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-05-2006, 02:56 AM
A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads
but his wife, she objects...
but then again, she's a woman, so why listen to her, because, really, who listens to women? -- especially when they object.
That was a long fourth line, indeed




Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round

Unique
03-05-2006, 03:08 PM
Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound

poetinahat
03-06-2006, 02:52 AM
Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound
She insists, "It's no bother,

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-06-2006, 03:30 AM
Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound
She insists, "It's no bother,"
Lets out a yelp and a holler

poetinahat
03-07-2006, 08:30 AM
Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound
She insists, "It's no bother,"
Lets out a yelp and a holler
and gymnastic tricks that will astound

The medal you get for fourth place

PrettySpecialGal
03-07-2006, 08:33 AM
The medal you get for fourth place
Is not a sign of disgrace

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-07-2006, 08:44 AM
The medal you get for fourth place
Is not a sign of disgrace
But it happens to show

Pthom
03-07-2006, 10:37 AM
The medal you get for fourth place
Is not a sign of disgrace
But it happens to show
What you didn't know

Unique
03-07-2006, 01:48 PM
The medal you get for fourth place
Is not a sign of disgrace
But it happens to show
What you didn't know
This wasn't a three-legged race.


While dancing one night cheek to cheek

Melina
03-07-2006, 04:41 PM
While dancing one night cheek to cheek
I found myself drawn to this freak

Meaney
03-08-2006, 04:58 AM
While dancing one night cheek to cheek
I found myself drawn to this freak
his face inside-out

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-08-2006, 05:22 AM
While dancing one night cheek to cheek
I found myself drawn to this freak
his face inside-out
quite the boorish lout

Unique
03-08-2006, 05:16 PM
While dancing one night cheek to cheek
I found myself drawn to this freak
his face inside-out
quite the boorish lout
so I handed him off to a geek.


While swimming the Agean sea

Roger J Carlson
03-08-2006, 05:45 PM
While swimming the Agean sea,
I desperately needed to pee.

poetinahat
03-08-2006, 05:50 PM
While swimming the Agean sea,
I desperately needed to pee.
But the Water Inspector

NeuroFizz
03-08-2006, 06:58 PM
While swimming the Agean sea,
I desperately needed to pee.
But the Water Inspector
had a urea detector

Melina
03-08-2006, 07:14 PM
While swimming the Agean sea,
I desperately needed to pee.
But the Water Inspector
had a urea detector
So everyone knew it was me!


I overheard two plumbers talking

threedogpeople
03-08-2006, 08:49 PM
I overheard two plumbers talking
about a crack that needed caulking

NeuroFizz
03-08-2006, 08:50 PM
I overheard two plumbers talking
about a crack that needed caulking
one's pants dipped low

threedogpeople
03-08-2006, 08:51 PM
I overheard two plumbers talking
about a crack that needed caulking
one's pants dipped low
giving quite a show

NeuroFizz
03-08-2006, 08:53 PM
I overheard two plumbers talking
about a crack that needed caulking
one's pants dipped low
giving quite a show
and the crack was stuffed with a stocking

The wind lifted her skirt up high

Stew21
03-08-2006, 09:00 PM
The wind lifted her skirt up high
He got a tasty peek at her thigh

threedogpeople
03-08-2006, 09:03 PM
The wind lifted her skirt up high
He got a tasty peek at her thigh
pink panties made him smile

NeuroFizz
03-08-2006, 10:21 PM
The wind lifted her skirt up high
He got a tasty peek at her thigh
pink panties made him smile
a fantasy to defile

Stew21
03-08-2006, 10:24 PM
The wind lifted her skirt up high
He got a tasty peek at her thigh
pink panties made him smile
a fantasy to defile
And then he realized it was a guy!




She put the money in her pocket

Yeshanu
03-09-2006, 12:19 AM
She put the money in her pocket
And a picture of him in her locket

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-09-2006, 03:25 AM
She put the money in her pocket
And a picture of him in her locket
Dangled it from her neck

akelsey333
03-09-2006, 03:49 AM
She put the money in her pocket
And a picture of him in her locket
Dangled it from her neck
And said, "What the heck?"

Roger J Carlson
03-09-2006, 05:31 AM
She put the money in her pocket
And a picture of him in her locket
Dangled it from her neck
And said, "What the heck?"
If I can't sell it, I'll hock it.




One day on his way to the vet

PattiTheWicked
03-09-2006, 05:55 AM
One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet

Serenity
03-09-2006, 06:02 AM
One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet
He smelled something rotten

Roger J Carlson
03-09-2006, 06:03 AM
One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet
He smelled something rotten
Like an egg long forgotten

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-09-2006, 08:09 AM
One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet
He smelled something rotten
Like an egg long forgotten
'Twas the funkiest thing he'd yet met



Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re

poetinahat
03-09-2006, 09:34 AM
Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-09-2006, 09:45 AM
Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
Too much was revealed

Pthom
03-09-2006, 09:50 AM
Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
Too much was revealed
When his seams came unsealed

poetinahat
03-09-2006, 09:53 AM
Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
Too much was revealed
When his seams came unsealed
And peer-group response was quite poor.

I'm licking a liquorice lolly

writerterri
03-09-2006, 10:04 AM
I'm licking a liquorice lolly

and handing it over to Polly

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-09-2006, 10:29 AM
I'm licking a liquorice lolly
and handing it over to Polly
She dropped it on the floor

PrettySpecialGal
03-09-2006, 04:35 PM
I'm licking a liquorice lolly
and handing it over to Polly
She dropped it on the floor
Then asked me for more

Solatium
03-09-2006, 07:32 PM
I'm licking a liquorice lolly
and handing it over to Polly
She dropped it on the floor
Then asked me for more
But she ain't gonna get it, by golly!

A nervous young fellow from Frisco

Stew21
03-09-2006, 07:36 PM
A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco

Roger J Carlson
03-09-2006, 07:45 PM
A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants

NeuroFizz
03-09-2006, 09:52 PM
A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants
split and showed off his lance

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-09-2006, 10:50 PM
A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants
split and showed off his lance
And his bum had a sheen like Crisco



Out on the beach in the sun

Unique
03-09-2006, 11:48 PM
Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun

Roger J Carlson
03-09-2006, 11:50 PM
Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude

Pthom
03-10-2006, 12:49 AM
Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)

Unique
03-10-2006, 12:57 AM
Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)
I still got a pinch on the bun.


Some lines are a mystery to me

Shiraz
03-10-2006, 01:01 AM
Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)
She laughed as she pointed and made fun.

Do you remember how mom and dad yelled

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-10-2006, 01:24 AM
Two at a time! Let's finish these and the person who finishes them start back with just one, but for now, you gotta do a line for each...

Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see




Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld

Solatium
03-10-2006, 01:37 AM
Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see
Be it meter or meaning


Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld
A continuous loop

Meaney
03-10-2006, 04:09 AM
Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see
Be it meter or meaning
or lines for dry cleaning


Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld
A continuous loop
of loud verbal poop

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-10-2006, 04:24 AM
Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see
Be it meter or meaning
or lines for dry cleaning
or the line to the restroom to pee


Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one, the arguments would meld
A continuous loop
of loud verbal poop
They'd even cuss while peanuts were shelled



Now boys are know to be randy

PrettySpecialGal
03-10-2006, 03:38 PM
Now boys are known to be randy
When sitting in front of eye candy

Unique
03-10-2006, 03:42 PM
Now boys are known to be randy
When sitting in front of eye candy
They drool and they moan

rhymegirl
03-10-2006, 04:02 PM
Now boys are known to be randy
When sitting in front of eye candy
They drool and they moan
And they let out a groan

Roger J Carlson
03-10-2006, 05:33 PM
Now boys are known to be randy
When sitting in front of eye candy
They drool and they moan
And they let out a groan
When the lap dancer lets them get handy.



My mother, the lady of pleasure

Unique
03-10-2006, 06:00 PM
My mother, the lady of pleasure
of children said, no not a treasure

Yeshanu
03-10-2006, 08:28 PM
My mother, the lady of pleasure
of children said, "No not a treasure --
They eat and they stink

writerterri
03-10-2006, 08:30 PM
My mother, the lady of pleasure
of children said, "No not a treasure --
They eat and they stink
And I shall spank their bottoms until they're nice and pink.

NeuroFizz
03-10-2006, 09:03 PM
My mother, the lady of pleasure
of children said, "No not a treasure --
They eat and they stink
And I shall spank their bottoms until they're nice and pink
Then I'll shove bars of soap in their mouths and put them in a chair in the corner and make them write "I will behave" one hundred times, just for good measure.


I had a great thought in the shower.

Roger J Carlson
03-10-2006, 09:19 PM
I had a great thought in the shower
And was awed by its grandeur and power

Solatium
03-11-2006, 05:02 AM
I had a great thought in the shower
And was awed by its grandeur and power,
But when I dried off,

PrettySpecialGal
03-11-2006, 05:05 AM
I had a great thought in the shower
And was awed by its grandeur and power,
But when I dried off,
I gave a slight cough

Meaney
03-11-2006, 11:08 AM
I had a great thought in the shower
And was awed by its grandeur and power,
But when I dried off,
I gave a slight cough
and said, "No one will buy purple flour."

The meat man knocked on the front door

Pthom
03-11-2006, 01:49 PM
The meat man knocked on the front door
He was late; it was already four.

Unique
03-11-2006, 03:02 PM
The meat man knocked on the front door
He was late; it was already four.
He gave me a slab

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-11-2006, 11:03 PM
The meat man knocked on the front door
He was late; it was already four.
He gave me a slab
of inedible drab

rich
03-11-2006, 11:14 PM
The meat man knocked on the front door
He was late; it was already four.
He gave me a slab
of inedible drab

Pizza de jour? Never more.

Pthom
03-12-2006, 04:25 AM
um...
is that last line also the prompt for the next limerick?

Yeshanu
03-12-2006, 04:28 AM
I'll take it...


Pizza de jour? Never more.
Mine had anchovies, figs and roast boar

Solatium
03-12-2006, 06:59 AM
Pizza de jour? Never more.
Mine had anchovies, figs and roast boar
But for me the last straw

akelsey333
03-12-2006, 08:51 AM
Pizza de jour? Never more.
Mine had anchovies, figs and roast boar
But for me the last straw
Was meat that was raw

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-12-2006, 09:54 AM
Pizza de jour? Never more.
Mine had anchovies, figs and roast boar
But for me the last straw
Was meat that was raw
Now from the retching, my belly is sore



Under the table, my dog ate the scraps

Unique
03-12-2006, 04:16 PM
Under the table, my dog ate the scraps
Later that night, we had to play taps

Yeshanu
03-12-2006, 07:55 PM
Under the table, my dog ate the scraps
Later that night, we had to play taps
For poor doggie was dead

Pat~
03-13-2006, 05:50 AM
Under the table, my dog ate the scraps
Later that night, we had to play taps
For poor doggie was dead
From those scraps he was fed,

Rob-rite
03-13-2006, 06:25 AM
Under the table, my dog ate the scraps
Later that night, we had to play taps
For poor doggie was dead
From those scraps he was fed,
That were riddled with bird-flu perhaps?



Renaissance ideals only faulter

rhymegirl
03-13-2006, 06:43 AM
Renaissance ideals only faulter,
Pardon me while I put on my halter,

NeuroFizz
03-13-2006, 08:42 PM
Renaissance ideals only faulter,
Pardon me while I put on my halter,
and you in your chaps

Stew21
03-13-2006, 09:22 PM
Renaissance ideals only faulter,
Pardon me while I put on my halter,
and you in your chaps
will earn a few claps

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-13-2006, 09:31 PM
Renaissance ideals only faulter,
Pardon me while I put on my halter,
and you in your chaps
will earn a few claps
but possibly leave you alone at the alter




Redhead gals and their baldheaded men

rhymegirl
03-13-2006, 11:05 PM
Redhead gals and their baldheaded men
Are really nothing like Barbie and Ken,

Stew21
03-13-2006, 11:21 PM
Redhead gals and their baldheaded men
Are really nothing like Barbie and Ken,
But when they go cruisin'

rhymegirl
03-13-2006, 11:24 PM
Redhead gals and their baldheaded men
Are really nothing like Barbie and Ken,
But when they go cruisin'
And dancin' and boozin'

Yeshanu
03-13-2006, 11:42 PM
Redhead gals and their baldheaded men
Are really nothing like Barbie and Ken,
But when they go cruisin'
And dancin' and boozin'
They're young in their hearts once again.


A bird in the rain on a wire

Unique
03-13-2006, 11:57 PM
A bird in the rain on a wire
thought he should be a high flyer

NeuroFizz
03-14-2006, 01:08 AM
A bird in the rain on a wire
thought he should be a high flyer
a voltage spike frizzed

trumancoyote
03-14-2006, 01:18 AM
A bird in the rain on a wire
thought he should be a high flyer
a voltage spike frizzed
his brain was cheese-whizzed

rhymegirl
03-14-2006, 01:40 AM
A bird in the rain on a wire
thought he should be a high flyer
a voltage spike frizzed
his brain was cheese-whizzed
And now he will make a good fryer.

There once was a poet named Zach

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-14-2006, 01:45 AM
There once was a poet named Zach
His humorous pieces showed his knack

Rob-rite
03-14-2006, 05:27 AM
There once was a poet named Zach
His humorous pieces showed his knack
His prose was the biz

poetinahat
03-14-2006, 05:35 AM
There once was a poet named Zach
His humorous pieces showed his knack
His prose was the biz
you should all have a squiz*

*: it means "have a look"... shame on you!

Prosthetic Foreheads
03-14-2006, 08:59 AM
There once was a poet named Zach
His humorous pieces showed his knack
His prose was the biz
you should all have a squiz*
And find out for yourself he's no hack


The wife tells me she's taking a break from the sex

Rob-rite
03-14-2006, 03:35 PM
The wife tells me she's taking a break from the sex
'Cos her love-life was tangled, extremely com-plex

poetinahat
03-14-2006, 03:40 PM
The wife tells me she's taking a break from the sex
'Cos her love-life was tangled, extremely com-plex
So she completely disrupted the limerick's meter

oswann
03-14-2006, 03:47 PM
The wife tells me she's taking a break from the sex
'Cos her love life was tangled, extremely com-plex
So she completely disrupted the limericks meter
Which opened the door to a free-form jazz ending, zoo bop be do be bop

NeuroFizz
03-14-2006, 07:20 PM
The wife tells me she's taking a break from the sex
'Cos her love life was tangled, extremely com-plex
So she completely disrupted the limericks meter
Which opened the door to a free-form jazz ending, zoo bop be do be bop
and she went down on me.

In the woods, the fox awaits

Unique
03-14-2006, 07:56 PM
In the woods, the fox awaits
for chickens, roasted, on plates

Solatium
03-14-2006, 11:05 PM
In the woods, the fox awaits
for chickens, roasted, on plates
But he'll have to wait longer

PrettySpecialGal
03-15-2006, 10:02 AM
In the woods, the fox awaits
for chickens, roasted, on plates
But he'll have to wait longer
Cuz' the chickens were stronger

Rob-rite
03-15-2006, 10:56 AM
In the woods, the fox awaits
for chickens, roasted, on plates
But he'll have to wait longer
Cuz' the chickens were stronger
On steroids whilst lifting huge weights


Meanwhile on a log by the stream