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StephanieFox
05-31-2012, 01:40 AM
So now I'm a man on the run
No home, no girlfriend, no fun
So Iíll flee to Peru
And I wish you would, too
You fugitive son of a gun.



Sheep give us baskets of fleece

Zeddo
05-31-2012, 03:20 AM
Sheep give us baskets of fleece
But shearing shatters their peace

Nymtoc
05-31-2012, 03:29 AM
Sheep give us baskets of fleece
But shearing shatters their peace
Some go berserk

Sir_Nigel
05-31-2012, 02:44 PM
Sheep give us baskets of fleece
But shearing shatters their peace
Some go berserk
like a furious BjŲrk

iLion
05-31-2012, 08:57 PM
Sheep give us baskets of fleece
But shearing shatters their peace
Some go berserk
like a furious BjŲrk
While others simply scream "cease!"

I'm sure that I never shall see

StephanieFox
05-31-2012, 09:01 PM
iLion forgot to start a new one, so I'll do it...


As writers, we want to get paid

iLion
05-31-2012, 09:29 PM
I thought I'd started one.. but I see it's the wrong meter anyway. :D
---------------------

As writers, we want to get paid
As lovers, we wanna get laid

Zeddo
05-31-2012, 09:38 PM
As writers, we want to get paid
As lovers, we wanna get laid
And combining the two

iLion
05-31-2012, 11:35 PM
As writers, we want to get paid
As lovers, we wanna get laid
And combining the two
Is what you should do

iLion
05-31-2012, 11:40 PM
As writers, we want to get paid
As lovers, we wanna get laid
And combining the two
Is what you should do
By writing of sex with the maid.

(I'm sorry! I tried, but couldn't stop! I'm so ashamed! )


He threw the fish back in the sea

Nymtoc
06-01-2012, 12:03 AM
He threw the fish back in the sea
The fish cried, "Wait! Listen to me!"

annetpfeffer
06-01-2012, 01:56 AM
He threw the fish back in the sea
The fish cried, "Wait! Listen to me!"
I'm just a poor flounder

StephanieFox
06-01-2012, 02:34 AM
He threw the fish back in the sea
The fish cried, "Wait! Listen to me!"
I'm just a poor flounder
But my thoughts are sounder

annetpfeffer
06-01-2012, 02:41 AM
He threw the fish back in the sea
The fish cried, "Wait! Listen to me!"
I'm just a poor flounder
But my thoughts are sounder
So eat vegetarian-ly!


The marching band led the parade

Zeddo
06-01-2012, 03:33 AM
The marching band led the parade
Through a car wash in downtown Belgrade
__________________

Sir_Nigel
06-01-2012, 11:21 AM
The marching band led the parade
Through a car wash in downtown Belgrade
The sousaphone foundered

StephanieFox
06-01-2012, 09:01 PM
The marching band led the parade
Through a car wash in downtown Belgrade
The sousaphone foundered
When the flute section floundered

iLion
06-01-2012, 09:10 PM
The marching band led the parade
Through a car wash in downtown Belgrade.
The sousaphone foundered
When the flute section floundered;
the majorette stripped and sashayed.

Work has become such a bore

Zeddo
06-02-2012, 01:05 AM
Work has become such a bore
Stripping's not fun any more
__________________

Nymtoc
06-02-2012, 07:22 AM
Work has become such a bore
Stripping's not fun any more
I may try ballet

annetpfeffer
06-02-2012, 04:05 PM
Work has become such a bore
Stripping's not fun any more
I may try ballet
But I do have to say

annetpfeffer
06-02-2012, 09:18 PM
I waited five hours and no one responded to my last line, so maybe it wasn't inspiring enough. I'll try again:

Work has become such a bore
Stripping's not fun any more
I may try ballet
But I do have to say
The cha-cha is what I adore.

The creature arose from the deep

Nymtoc
06-02-2012, 09:25 PM
The creature arose from the deep
And Ahab arose from his sleep

annetpfeffer
06-02-2012, 11:15 PM
The creature arose from the deep
And Ahab arose from his sleep
He took his harpoon

donroc
06-03-2012, 12:02 AM
The creature arose from the deep
And Ahab arose from his sleep
He took his harpoon
His eyes still maroon

Zeddo
06-03-2012, 01:19 AM
The creature arose from the deep
And Ahab arose from his sleep
He took his harpoon
His eyes still maroon
And groggily skewered a sheep.

(it was water skiing behind the ship...)

The dirtiest man in our town

Nymtoc
06-03-2012, 10:48 PM
The dirtiest man in our town
Went forth with his pants falling down

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 03:28 AM
The dirtiest man in our town
Went forth with his pants falling down
The sight of his thing

donroc
06-04-2012, 03:42 AM
The dirtiest man in our town
Went forth with his pants falling down
The sight of his thing
"Well, ring-a-ding-ding!"

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 04:03 AM
The dirtiest man in our town
Went forth with his pants falling down
The sight of his thing
"Well, ring-a-ding-ding!"
Elicited many a frown

My prince has turned into a frog

Shirokirie
06-04-2012, 04:07 AM
My prince has turned into a frog
A not-so-hefty price for biting my neighbor's dog.

Nymtoc
06-04-2012, 04:57 AM
My prince has turned into a frog
After biting my neighbor's poor dog*






*Shirokirie, your line had too many beats. I've rewritten it in a way that may not be as amusing, but it does fit. :D

Zeddo
06-04-2012, 06:37 AM
My prince has turned into a frog
After biting my neighbor's poor dog
My neighbor is suing

Shirokirie
06-04-2012, 07:07 AM
My prince has turned into a frog
After biting my neighbor's poor dog
My neighbor is suing
For Pamela Anderson's wooing

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 07:08 AM
My prince has turned into a frog
After biting my neighbor's poor dog
My neighbor is suing
For Pam Anderson's wooing
I'll put it all into my blog.



It rained and it thundered today

Nymtoc
06-04-2012, 07:36 AM
It rained and it thundered today
And ruined our game of croquet

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 07:42 AM
It rained and it thundered today
And ruined our game of croquet
And then lightning struck

Nymtoc
06-04-2012, 07:48 AM
It rained and it thundered today
And ruined our game of croquet
And then lightning struck
And hit Uncle Chuck

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 08:43 AM
It rained and it thundered today
And ruined our game of croquet
And then lightning struck
And hit Uncle Chuck
And pretty much put him away.



I went for a swim at the pool

Zeddo
06-04-2012, 09:59 AM
I went for a swim at the pool
And found they had a new rule

Nymtoc
06-04-2012, 10:13 AM
I went for a swim at the pool
And found they had a new rule
You can only swim nude

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 05:24 PM
I went for a swim at the pool
And found they had a new rule
You can only swim nude
which seemed kind of rude

Nymtoc
06-04-2012, 08:45 PM
I went for a swim at the pool
And found they had a new rule
You can only swim nude
which seemed kind of rude
But off came my clothes. I'm no fool.

My clothes were all made by an elf

iLion
06-04-2012, 09:25 PM
My clothes were all made by an elf
for a fat man, but not for my self

annetpfeffer
06-04-2012, 10:13 PM
My clothes were all made by an elf
for a fat man, but not for my self
Those gigantic green pants

Leellana
06-04-2012, 11:22 PM
My clothes were all made by an elf
for a fat man, but not for my self
Those gigantic green pants
We're quite full of ants

Pthom
06-05-2012, 12:37 AM
My clothes were all made by an elf
for a fat man, but not for my self
Those gigantic green pants
We're quite full of ants
From the farm on the library shelf.

These Lim'ricks are gen'rally bad

Nymtoc
06-05-2012, 12:56 AM
These Lim'ricks are gen'rally bad
We're lacking in talent. It's sad.

Pthom
06-05-2012, 01:03 AM
These Lim'ricks are gen'rally bad
We're lacking in talent. It's sad.
If it weren't just for you

Zeddo
06-05-2012, 01:51 AM
These Lim'ricks are gen'rally bad
We're lacking in talent. It's sad.
If it weren't just for you
This thread we'd eschew

Pthom
06-05-2012, 05:35 AM
These Lim'ricks are gen'rally bad
We're lacking in talent. It's sad.
If it weren't just for you
This thread we'd eschew
But we don't and for that, I am glad!

There once was a lady so soft

Nymtoc
06-05-2012, 07:37 AM
There once was a lady so soft
One step would propel her aloft

Zeddo
06-05-2012, 08:37 AM
There once was a lady so soft
One step would propel her aloft
She'd float for a while

Nymtoc
06-05-2012, 09:01 AM
There once was a lady so soft
One step would propel her aloft
She'd float for a while
Then descend with a smile

Matera the Mad
06-05-2012, 10:58 AM
There once was a lady so soft
One step would propel her aloft
She'd float for a while
Then descend with a smile
To her garden, where roses bloomed oft.

If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"

annetpfeffer
06-05-2012, 07:55 PM
If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing

iLion
06-05-2012, 08:37 PM
If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing
the hook hadn't caught

Zeddo
06-05-2012, 09:39 PM
If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing
the hook hadn't caught
In a sensitive spot

Shirokirie
06-06-2012, 01:37 AM
If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing
the hook hadn't caught
In a sensitive spot
And that's what we call Derping.

Fred frocked to feel pope-y

Nymtoc
06-06-2012, 02:44 AM
If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing
the hook hadn't caught
In a sensitive spot
And that's what we call Derping.

Fred frocked to feel pope-y

Shirokirie, there's no way "derping" can rhyme with "fishing."

If I had my druthers, "gone fishing"
I'd be fly casting, all the while wishing
the hook hadn't caught
In a sensitive spot
Now Spam is the stuff we'll be dishing.

Also, "Fred frocked to feel pope-y" doesn't have enough beats.

Fred frocked all in white to feel pope-y

Zeddo
06-06-2012, 02:50 AM
Fred frocked all in white to feel pope-y
But everyone said he looked dopey

Matera the Mad
06-06-2012, 03:54 AM
Fred frocked all in white to feel pope-y
But everyone said he looked dopey
So he changed his socks

iLion
06-06-2012, 08:11 PM
Fred frocked all in white to feel pope-y
But everyone said he looked dopey
So he changed his socks
Which smelled like an ox

Lavern08
06-06-2012, 09:33 PM
Fred frocked all in white to feel pope-y
But everyone said he looked dopey
So he changed his socks
Which smelled like an ox
And sat around looking all mopey

These newbies are making me crazy

Nymtoc
06-06-2012, 10:30 PM
These newbies are making me crazy
Their brains are deplorably lazy

Pthom
06-07-2012, 03:25 AM
These newbies are making me crazy
Their brains are deplorably lazy
Their queries are dumb

Nymtoc
06-07-2012, 10:26 AM
These newbies are making me crazy
Their brains are deplorably lazy
Their queries are dumb
They chew bubble gum

Sir_Nigel
06-07-2012, 12:29 PM
These newbies are making me crazy
Their brains are deplorably lazy
Their queries are dumb
They chew bubble gum
like goons in a Martin Scorsese

There was a young fella named Vinnie

Lavern08
06-07-2012, 06:41 PM
There was a young fella named Vinnie
Who married a woman named Minnie

Nymtoc
06-07-2012, 08:30 PM
There was a young fella named Vinnie
Who married a woman named Minnie
They lived in a shack

iLion
06-07-2012, 08:39 PM
There was a young fella named Vinnie
Who married a woman named Minnie
They lived in a shack
With a dog named Zak

Zeddo
06-07-2012, 08:51 PM
There was a young fella named Vinnie
Who married a woman named Minnie
They lived in a shack
With a dog called Zak
Whose behavior was really quite spinny.


My Bonnie lies over the ocean

Nymtoc
06-07-2012, 08:59 PM
Ooofff! We got a twofer!

Let's combine the two, thus:

There was a young fella named Vinnie
Who married a woman named Minnie
They lived in a shack
With a dog called Zak-Jack
That ate chocolate and stayed very skinny.

The end of the world is at hand!

iLion
06-07-2012, 09:21 PM
My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion



The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand

Zeddo
06-07-2012, 09:36 PM
My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
She's delightfully sweet

The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
If it's all going to end

Nymtoc
06-07-2012, 09:45 PM
My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
She's delightfully sweet
Except for her feet


The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
If it's all going to end
Let's go have fun, my friend,

Pthom
06-08-2012, 03:36 AM
My bonnie lies over the ocean
She rubs on grape jam as a lotion
She's delightfully sweet
Except for her feet
Which sure need a magical potion.


The end of the world is at hand
I'll go lie on the beach and the sand
If it's all going to end
Let's go have fun, my friend,
So dance to apocalypse band!



When faced with an obvious two-fer

Zeddo
06-08-2012, 04:01 AM
When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer

Nymtoc
06-08-2012, 04:26 AM
When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop

StephanieFox
06-08-2012, 09:20 AM
When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop
Like the Comet Hale-Bop

Nymtoc
06-08-2012, 09:27 AM
When faced with an obvious two-fer
You must leap back and forth like a hoofer
A skip and a hop
Like the Comet Hale-Bop
You'll excel, not be known as a goofer.

When Lola was still in her prime

Sir_Nigel
06-08-2012, 11:15 AM
When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time

Lavern08
06-08-2012, 05:31 PM
When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older

StephanieFox
06-08-2012, 05:36 PM
When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older
(Claims the hospital's folder)

Nymtoc
06-08-2012, 05:52 PM
When Lola was still in her prime
It was said she’d take two at a time
But now that she's older
(Claims the hospital's folder)
She lives on Bacardi with lime.

Sue uses seductive cologne

Sir_Nigel
06-08-2012, 06:06 PM
Sue uses seductive cologne
So men and flies leave her alone

onestepp
06-08-2012, 08:01 PM
Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad

iLion
06-08-2012, 08:33 PM
Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad
Only dogs all seem glad

Zeddo
06-09-2012, 12:39 AM
Sue uses seductive cologne
so men and flies leave her alone
Cause it smells so bad
Only dogs all seem glad
She smells like a long-buried bone

I used to drink rum with molasses

Nymtoc
06-09-2012, 12:58 AM
I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."

StephanieFox
06-09-2012, 05:03 AM
I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!"

Lavern08
06-09-2012, 05:14 PM
I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!"
"Cause you haven't seen mine."

StephanieFox
06-10-2012, 02:28 AM
I used to drink rum with molasses
Then someone said, "That's for badasses."
I told them, 'That's fine!
Cause you haven't seen mine.
But you would if you'd just wear your glasses."

Another week has come and gone.

Zeddo
06-10-2012, 02:54 AM
Another week has come and gone
And I still haven't mowed the lawn

Nymtoc
06-10-2012, 03:53 AM
Another week has come and gone
And I still haven't mowed the lawn

In each of the above lines, the beat falls on a weird syllable, thus:

Another week HAS come and gone
And I still haveN'T mowed the lawn

As we all know by now (don't we?) limerick lines are determined not by the number of syllables in a line but by where the beats fall.

So here are the two lines rewritten with proper beats. (You don't like this? Sue me. :D)

Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn

StephanieFox
06-10-2012, 05:08 AM
AbsoLUTly.

Lavern08
06-10-2012, 04:40 PM
Tee-Hee. Everyone's too scared to try to tackle this now.

But not me - I ain't afraid of Nymmie's wrath: :tongue


Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'

Nymtoc
06-10-2012, 05:04 PM
Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'
To hell with their spyin'

Pthom
06-11-2012, 06:47 AM
Another week's now come and gone
And I failed to go mow the lawn
The neighbors are cryin'
To hell with their spyin'
I ran out of what? Weed-B-Gone!

If Nymtoc was any more weird

Zeddo
06-11-2012, 08:01 AM
If Nymtoc was any more weird
There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard

But what if this isn't in anapestic or amphibrachic metre?:scared:

Nymtoc
06-11-2012, 08:23 AM
If Nymtoc was any more weird
There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard
They'd sing on the hour

iLion
06-11-2012, 08:41 PM
If Nymtoc was any more weird
There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard
They'd sing on the hour
All loud and quite sour

StephanieFox
06-12-2012, 05:19 AM
If Nymtoc was any more weird
There'd be cuckoos at play in his beard
They'd sing on the hour
All loud and quite sour
It's exactly the thing that we've feared.


I'm part of a clinical study

Nymtoc
06-12-2012, 05:45 AM
I'm part of a clinical study
To scan Brits' brains when they say "bloody"

Zeddo
06-12-2012, 06:43 AM
I'm part of a clinical study
To scan Brits' brains when they say "bloody"
What's their intention

Sir_Nigel
06-12-2012, 11:49 AM
I'm part of a clinical study
To scan Brits' brains when they say "bloody"
What's their intention?
- It prevents hypertension

Nymtoc
06-12-2012, 12:34 PM
I'm part of a clinical study
To scan Brits' brains when they say "bloody."
What's their intention?
It prevents hypertension
And makes them seem less fuddy duddy.

Soon London will be filled with sport

iLion
06-12-2012, 08:32 PM
Soon London will be filled with sport.
So blimey! We'll see every sort.

Lavern08
06-12-2012, 11:37 PM
Soon London will be filled with sport.
So blimey! We'll see every sort.
Now, won't it be funny

Nymtoc
06-13-2012, 12:43 AM
Soon London will be filled with sport.
So blimey! We'll see every sort.
Now, won't it be funny
If London's not sunny

Zeddo
06-13-2012, 03:37 AM
Soon London will be filled with sport.
So blimey! We'll see every sort.
Now, won't it be funny
If London's not sunny
And the supply of umbrellas falls short.

A hippo determined to tap dance

StephanieFox
06-13-2012, 03:52 AM
A hippo determined to tap dance
Put on tights and a pair of short pants

Nymtoc
06-13-2012, 04:07 AM
A hippo determined to tap dance
Put on tights and a pair of short pants
"Call me Ginger," she said

StephanieFox
06-13-2012, 04:46 AM
A hippo determined to tap dance
Put on tights and a pair of short pants
"Call me Ginger," she said
"Or you could call me Fred,

Sir_Nigel
06-13-2012, 11:48 AM
A hippo determined to tap dance
Put on tights and a pair of short pants
"Call me Ginger," she said
"Or you could call me Fred”
And found bi-hippo swinging romance.

She fell from the bed with a thud

Lavern08
06-13-2012, 05:05 PM
She fell from the bed with a thud
Broke her nose, but there was no blood

Nymtoc
06-13-2012, 08:57 PM
She fell from the bed with a thud
Broke her nose, but there was no blood
Hwe dentures fell out

Lavern08
06-13-2012, 11:51 PM
She fell from the bed with a thud
Broke her nose, but there was no blood
Her dentures fell out
She let out a shout

Nymtoc
06-13-2012, 11:55 PM
She fell from the bed with a thud
Broke her nose, but there was no blood
Her dentures fell out
She let out a shout
Waking up cranky old Uncle Fudd.

Is any month better than June?

Sir_Nigel
06-14-2012, 01:02 PM
Is any month better than June
for popping a child’s balloon ?

iLion
06-14-2012, 08:49 PM
Is any month better than June
for popping a child’s balloon?
I laugh and they cry
__________________

Nymtoc
06-14-2012, 10:08 PM
Is any month better than June
for popping a childís balloon?
I laugh and they cry
Heigh-ho! What care I?

Zeddo
06-14-2012, 10:12 PM
Is any month better than June
for popping a child’s balloon?
I laugh and they cry
Then spit in my eye

onestepp
06-15-2012, 04:01 AM
Is any month better than June
for popping a child's balloon?
I laugh and they cry
Then spit in my eye
Is this written in the Tribune?

StephanieFox
06-15-2012, 04:20 AM
Onestepp didn't start a limerick, so I'll do it.



Can history help date the Psalms?

Nymtoc
06-15-2012, 06:24 AM
Can history help date the Psalms?
By the way, were they written 'neath palms?

iLion
06-15-2012, 09:03 PM
Can history help date the Psalms?
By the way, were they written 'neath palms?
Are they good for today?

Lavern08
06-15-2012, 09:05 PM
Can history help date the Psalms?
By the way, were they written 'neath palms?
Are they good for today?
Trust me, they're here to stay

iLion
06-15-2012, 09:17 PM
Can history help date the Psalms?
By the way, were they written 'neath palms?
Are they good for today?
Trust me, they're here to stay.
For hearts, they make the best balms.

My dog was smoking my pipe

Nymtoc
06-15-2012, 10:42 PM
My dog was smoking my pipe
And talking with friends via Skype

Pthom
06-15-2012, 11:57 PM
My dog was smoking my pipe
And talking with friends via Skype
He chewed off his leash

kenthepen
06-16-2012, 12:43 AM
My dog was smoking my pipe,
And talking with friends via Skype
He chewed off his leash
So he could reach the hashish

Zeddo
06-16-2012, 01:29 AM
My dog was smoking my pipe,
And talking with friends via Skype
He chewed off his leash
So he could reach the hashish
Now he thinks he's a Nepalese snipe

It's too bad I shot my best friend

Nymtoc
06-16-2012, 11:53 AM
It's too bad I shot my best friend
But he trashed everything that I penned

Lavern08
06-17-2012, 02:46 AM
It's too bad I shot my best friend
But he trashed everything that I penned
He called me a hack

onestepp
06-17-2012, 04:45 AM
It's too bad I shot my best friend
But he trashed everything I penned
He called me a hack
without any nack

Nymtoc
06-17-2012, 09:48 AM
It's too bad I shot my best friend
But he trashed everything I penned
He called me a hack
without any nack
Don't you see why I went 'round the bend?

It seems to get hotter each year

Sir_Nigel
06-18-2012, 11:49 AM
It seems to get hotter each year
So I have to drink more and more beer

Lavern08
06-18-2012, 08:18 PM
It seems to get hotter each year
So I have to drink more and more beer
My belly is growing

iLion
06-18-2012, 08:42 PM
seems to get hotter each year
So I have to drink more and more beer
My belly is growing
And thinking is slowing

Zeddo
06-19-2012, 01:28 AM
seems to get hotter each year
So I have to drink more and more beer
My belly is growing
And thinking is slowing
And the Doc says cirrhosis is near.


A girl with an odd sense of humor

Nymtoc
06-19-2012, 02:42 AM
A girl with an odd sense of humor
Started spreading a scandalous rumor

ErstwhileA
06-19-2012, 02:46 AM
A girl with an odd sense of humor
Started spreading a scandalous rumor
That I'd drunk all my cash

alexaherself
06-19-2012, 03:28 AM
A girl with an odd sense of humor
Started spreading a scandalous rumor
That I'd drunk all my cash
And gone off at a dash

Nymtoc
06-19-2012, 03:55 AM
A girl with an odd sense of humor
Started spreading a scandalous rumor
That I'd drunk all my cash
And gone off at a dash
And wound up as a French poodle groomer.

Priscilla is always so merry

ErstwhileA
06-19-2012, 08:10 AM
Priscilla is always so merry.
Perhaps it's because of the sherry?

Sir_Nigel
06-19-2012, 11:25 AM
Priscilla is always so merry.
Perhaps it's because of the sherry?
A bottle a day

ErstwhileA
06-19-2012, 06:06 PM
Priscilla is always so merry.
Perhaps it's because of the sherry?
A bottle a day
Keeps low spirits at bay,

alexaherself
06-19-2012, 07:13 PM
Priscilla is always so merry.
Perhaps it's because of the sherry?
A bottle a day
Keeps low spirits at bay,
But sometimes transports you to Derry.



An author of fiction, called Frank

Lavern08
06-19-2012, 07:15 PM
An author of fiction, called Frank
Was robbed on his way to the bank

alexaherself
06-19-2012, 07:47 PM
An author of fiction, called Frank
Was robbed on his way to the bank.
He fell to the ground

iLion
06-19-2012, 08:32 PM
An author of fiction, called Frank
Was robbed on his way to the bank.
He fell to the ground
With his book that was bound

Nymtoc
06-19-2012, 08:56 PM
An author of fiction, called Frank
Was robbed on his way to the bank.
He fell to the ground
With his book that was bound
In tinfoil, which he thought was swank.

Colleen had a collie called Clive

Pthom
06-19-2012, 08:57 PM
Colleen had a collie called Clive
(The dog was more dead than alive!)

alexaherself
06-20-2012, 01:13 AM
Colleen had a collie called Clive
(The dog was more dead than alive!).
He groaned and he moaned

Sir_Nigel
06-20-2012, 11:28 AM
Colleen had a collie called Clive
(The dog was more dead than alive!).
He groaned and he moaned
So she had the mutt cloned

Nymtoc
06-20-2012, 05:58 PM
Colleen had a collie called Clive
(The dog was more dead than alive!).
He groaned and he moaned
So she had the mutt cloned
But it's doubtful Clive II will survive.

Every summer I go to the shore

iLion
06-20-2012, 08:43 PM
Every summer I go to the shore
Where I burn till my tushy is sore.

Lavern08
06-20-2012, 09:28 PM
Every summer I go to the shore
Where I burn till my tushy is sore.
The smell of the sea

alexaherself
06-21-2012, 02:55 PM
Every summer I go to the shore
Where I burn till my tushy is sore.
The smell of the sea
Makes me say "Oh dear me,

Sir_Nigel
06-21-2012, 04:27 PM
Every summer I go to the shore
Where I burn till my tushy is sore.
The smell of the sea
Makes me say "Oh dear me,
I really can’t take any more.


O where did old Flying Tart go?

Nymtoc
06-21-2012, 07:58 PM
O where did old Flying Tart go?
We all love her limericks so.

iLion
06-21-2012, 07:59 PM
O where did old Flying Tart go?
I loved her sardonics, you know.

Nymtoc
06-21-2012, 08:02 PM
O where did old Flying Tart go?
I loved her sardonics, you know.
Her verve and her wit

iLion
06-21-2012, 08:26 PM
O where did old Flying Tart go?
I loved her sardonics, you know.
Her verve and her wit
Were always a hit


__________________

Nymtoc
06-21-2012, 10:55 PM
O where did old Flying Tart go?
I loved her sardonics, you know.
Her verve and her wit
Were always a hit
Like a word-empow'red Marcel Marceau.

My clock struck thirteen Sunday night

Zeddo
06-21-2012, 11:22 PM
My clock struck thirteen Sunday night
And my Orwellian fears did excite

alexaherself
06-22-2012, 03:29 AM
My clock struck thirteen Sunday night
And my Orwellian fears did excite.
I looked at the screen,

Matera the Mad
06-22-2012, 06:47 AM
My clock struck thirteen Sunday night
And my Orwellian fears did excite.
I looked at the screen,
And my face turned pea green

StephanieFox
06-22-2012, 09:22 AM
My clock struck thirteen Sunday night
And my Orwellian fears did excite.
I looked at the screen,
And my face turned pea green,
and then red, and then blue, and then white.


A kitty cat sleeps on my bed.

annetpfeffer
06-22-2012, 09:27 AM
My clock struck thirteen Sunday night
And my Orwellian fears did excite.
I looked at the screen,
And my face turned pea green,
though the chance of apocalypse slight.


The cheers and applause filled my head

Matera the Mad
06-22-2012, 09:47 AM
The cheers and applause filled my head
The dragon was slain, good 'n' dead

Zeddo
06-22-2012, 09:55 AM
The cheers and applause filled my head
The dragon was slain, good 'n' dead
But here comes his Dad

Matera the Mad
06-22-2012, 09:57 AM
The cheers and applause filled my head
The dragon was slain, good 'n' dead
But here comes his Dad
Uh-oh, folks, this looks bad

Nymtoc
06-22-2012, 10:34 AM
The cheers and applause filled my head
The dragon was slain, good 'n' dead
But here comes his Dad
Uh-oh, folks, this looks bad
But shhhh! I'll hide under my bed.

When Cynthia drinks too much gin

annetpfeffer
06-22-2012, 10:46 AM
When Cynthia drinks too much gin
Her head starts to pleasantly spin

Sir_Nigel
06-22-2012, 11:40 AM
When Cynthia drinks too much gin
Her head starts to pleasantly spin
But after a whisky

alexaherself
06-22-2012, 03:04 PM
When Cynthia drinks too much gin
Her head starts to pleasantly spin
But after a whisky
She gets really frisky

Sir_Nigel
06-22-2012, 03:53 PM
When Cynthia drinks too much gin
Her head starts to pleasantly spin
But after a whisky
She gets really frisky
A glass Glen Spey and you’re in!


He was looking decidedly green

alexaherself
06-22-2012, 04:29 PM
He was looking decidedly green
When he went up to visit the queen

iLion
06-22-2012, 07:46 PM
He was looking decidedly green
When he went up to visit the queen
He got sick on her shoes

alexaherself
06-22-2012, 07:58 PM
He was looking decidedly green
When he went up to visit the queen
He got sick on her shoes
From guzzling the booze,

iLion
06-22-2012, 08:11 PM
He was looking decidedly green
When he went up to visit the queen
He got sick on her shoes
From guzzling the booze,
"Off with his head! He's obscene!"

They carried him off to the jail

Nymtoc
06-22-2012, 10:13 PM
They carried him off to the jail
Where he wrote a book, telling his tale

alexaherself
06-22-2012, 11:06 PM
They carried him off to the jail
Where he wrote a book, telling his tale.
He left nothing out,

onestepp
06-22-2012, 11:38 PM
They carried him off to jail
Where he wrote a book, telling his tale
He left nothing out
he even did shout

Nymtoc
06-22-2012, 11:43 PM
They carried him off to jail
Where he wrote a book, telling his tale
He left nothing out
he even did shout
Now at Amazon his tale's for sale.

A gentleman from Transylvania

StephanieFox
06-23-2012, 01:39 AM
A gentleman from Transylvania
Like to bite people right in their veinia

Zeddo
06-23-2012, 02:12 AM
A gentleman from Transylvania
Like to bite people right in their veinia
Leaving marks on their skin

alexaherself
06-23-2012, 01:47 PM
A gentleman from Transylvania
Like to bite people right in their veinia
Leaving marks on their skin,
Whether chewy or thin,

Nymtoc
06-23-2012, 06:04 PM
A gentleman from Transylvania
Like to bite people right in their veinia
Leaving marks on their skin,
Whether chewy or thin,
"It's an art form," he said, "not a mania."

Joe couldn't keep out of a fight

alexaherself
06-23-2012, 06:30 PM
Joe couldn't keep out of a fight
He provoked folk with all of his might

Zeddo
06-23-2012, 09:01 PM
Joe couldn't keep out of a fight
He provoked folk with all of his might
He'd laugh at their spouses

alexaherself
06-23-2012, 09:15 PM
Joe couldn't keep out of a fight.
He provoked folk with all of his might.
He'd laugh at their spouses,
Break into their houses,

onestepp
06-25-2012, 12:04 AM
Joe couldn't keep out of a fight
He provoked people with all his might
He laughed at their spouses
Break into their houses
Take from without a care and take flight

alexaherself
06-25-2012, 03:09 AM
A recidivist burglar called Dave

Zeddo
06-25-2012, 04:03 AM
A recidivist burglar called Dave
Was paroled but couldn't behave

Nymtoc
06-25-2012, 04:15 AM
A recidivist burglar called Dave
Was paroled but couldn't behave
An unlocked back door

annetpfeffer
06-25-2012, 05:06 AM
A recidivist burglar called Dave
Was paroled but couldn't behave
An unlocked back door
Was his cue to steal more

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2012, 11:48 AM
A recidivist burglar called Dave
Was paroled but couldn't behave
An unlocked back door
Was his cue to steal more
So the judge looked especially grave


She couldn’t believe it was so

alexaherself
06-25-2012, 03:36 PM
She couldnít believe it was so.
Nobody ever said "no",

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2012, 04:25 PM
She couldnít believe it was so.
Nobody ever said "no",
So, grabbing his leg

alexaherself
06-25-2012, 06:39 PM
She couldn’t believe it was so.
Nobody ever said "no",
So, grabbing his leg,
She decided to beg

Nymtoc
06-25-2012, 11:36 PM
She couldnít believe it was so.
Nobody ever said "no",
So, grabbing his leg,
She decided to beg
But he? He just snarled and said, "Go!"

An ostrich is not a nice bird

StephanieFox
06-26-2012, 12:52 AM
An ostrich is not a nice bird
To describe one, I'd say a bad word.

Zeddo
06-26-2012, 02:31 AM
An ostrich is not a nice bird
To describe one, I'd say a bad word.
They've all got sharp beaks

Nymtoc
06-26-2012, 06:29 AM
An ostrich is not a nice bird
To describe one, I'd say a bad word.
They've all got sharp beaks
And when they take leaks

Sir_Nigel
06-26-2012, 11:41 AM
An ostrich is not a nice bird
To describe one, I'd say a bad word.
They've all got sharp beaks
And when they take leaks
they’re rather haphazard I’ve heard.



They say he eloped with a nun

alexaherself
06-26-2012, 02:45 PM
They say he eloped with a nun
(Not everyone's idea of fun)

Sir_Nigel
06-26-2012, 03:09 PM
They say he eloped with a nun
(Not everyone's idea of fun)
He cherished her wimple

alexaherself
06-26-2012, 03:30 PM
They say he eloped with a nun
(Not everyone's idea of fun)
He cherished her wimple
And - though it sounds simple -

Sir_Nigel
06-26-2012, 04:42 PM
They say he eloped with a nun
(Not everyone's idea of fun)
He cherished her wimple
And - though it sounds simple -
that’s how the affair had begun


He drove to Dundee in a Jag

alexaherself
06-26-2012, 04:57 PM
He drove to Dundee in a Jag
And ate marzipan sweets from a bag

Sir_Nigel
06-26-2012, 06:10 PM
He drove to Dundee in a Jag
And ate marzipan sweets from a bag
The cops, in pursuit

alexaherself
06-26-2012, 10:47 PM
He drove to Dundee in a Jag
And ate marzipan sweets from a bag
The cops, in pursuit
Gave caution the boot

Nymtoc
06-26-2012, 10:59 PM
He drove to Dundee in a Jag
And ate marzipan sweets from a bag
The cops, in pursuit
Gave caution the boot
And challenged the Jag to a drag.

Some people like alternate thrills

Zeddo
06-26-2012, 11:46 PM
Some people like alternate thrills
They're obsessed with leather and pills

alexaherself
06-26-2012, 11:56 PM
Some people like alternate thrills
They're obsessed with leather and pills
But if only they knew

annetpfeffer
06-27-2012, 05:42 PM
Some people like alternate thrills
They're obsessed with leather and pills
But if only they knew
of a gentleman who

Nymtoc
06-27-2012, 05:49 PM
Some people like alternate thrills
They're obsessed with leather and pills
But if only they knew
of a gentleman who
Would teach them still kinkier skills!

The little old lady in gray

Zeddo
06-27-2012, 07:26 PM
The little old lady in gray
Is a ruthless assassin for pay

iLion
06-27-2012, 08:18 PM
The little old lady in gray
Is a ruthless assassin for pay
She'll shoot and she'll stab

alexaherself
06-27-2012, 10:04 PM
The little old lady in gray
Is a ruthless assassin for pay
She'll shoot and she'll stab
She'll garotte and she'll jab

Nymtoc
06-27-2012, 10:31 PM
The little old lady in gray
Is a ruthless assassin for pay
She'll shoot and she'll stab
She'll garotte and she'll jab
But she always says, "Have a nice day!"

My mom says I'm going to hell

alexaherself
06-27-2012, 11:12 PM
My mom says I'm going to hell
My house stinks: she can't stand the smell

StephanieFox
06-28-2012, 07:12 AM
My mom says I'm going to hell
My house stinks: she can't stand the smell
It's because of the potions

Sir_Nigel
06-28-2012, 11:21 AM
My mom says I'm going to hell
My house stinks: she can't stand the smell
It's because of the potions
and foot-fungus lotions

Nymtoc
06-28-2012, 11:45 AM
My mom says I'm going to hell
My house stinks: she can't stand the smell
It's because of the potions
and foot-fungus lotions
And things that I'm not going to tell.

It's hot, and I should have a fan

Sir_Nigel
06-28-2012, 03:26 PM
It's hot, and I should have a fan
I’m an overweight fat sweaty man

alexaherself
06-28-2012, 04:10 PM
It's hot, and I should have a fan
Iím an overweight fat sweaty man.
If I could keep cool,

Sir_Nigel
06-28-2012, 05:03 PM
It's hot, and I should have a fan
I’m an overweight fat sweaty man.
If I could keep cool,
and not snort or drool

Lavern08
06-28-2012, 05:19 PM
It's hot, and I should have a fan
I’m an overweight fat sweaty man.
If I could keep cool,
and not snort or drool
I'd be really hip, cute and tan.

I feel like I'm melting, said Molly

Sir_Nigel
06-28-2012, 05:43 PM
I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly

iLion
06-28-2012, 08:37 PM
I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly
So lick me before

alexaherself
06-29-2012, 12:28 AM
I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly
So lick me before
I drip on the floor

Zeddo
06-29-2012, 01:12 AM
I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly
So lick me before
I drip on the floor
Deliquescing so fast is no joke, by golly

My old dog always loses at card games

Nymtoc
06-29-2012, 01:55 AM
I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly
So lick me before
I drip on the floor
Deliquescing so fast is no joke, by golly

My old dog always loses at card games

I hate to mess with such a lovely limerick, but the last line has too many beats. So I've made a fix, not as funny, but correct for the limerick form.

Your new line also presents us with a problem, since it scans like this:
My old DOG always LOSes at CARD games.
Some players will be tempted to rhyme the next line with "games," but that's not good prosody. The rhyme should be with "CARD," so I've written a line using that as a rhyme word.

(We've been through these points before, but they can always bear repetition. :Lecture:)

I feel like I'm melting, said Molly
like an overly lemony lolly
So lick me before
I drip on the floor
Deliquescing's not funny, by golly

My old dog always loses at card games
He's worse than a cat at the hard games

StephanieFox
06-29-2012, 08:25 AM
My old dog always loses at card games
He's worse than a cat at the hard games
But while he loses money,

Sir_Nigel
06-29-2012, 04:29 PM
My old dog always loses at card games
He's worse than a cat at the hard games
But while he loses money,
my cunning pet bunny

StephanieFox
07-01-2012, 07:45 AM
My old dog always loses at card games
He's worse than a cat at the hard games
But while he loses money,
My cunning pet bunny
Says he wins, but just with Swiss chard games.


This summer mosquitoes are awful

alexaherself
07-01-2012, 05:53 PM
This summer mosquitoes are awful
It's strange that they're not made unlawful

Nymtoc
07-01-2012, 11:06 PM
This summer mosquitoes are awful
It's strange that they're not made unlawful
Please think of a way




Happy Canada Day! http://i1213.photobucket.com/albums/cc465/muggo5/MAPLELEAF40X40.jpg Joyeuse FÍte du Canada!

alexaherself
07-01-2012, 11:22 PM
This summer mosquitoes are awful
It's strange that they're not made unlawful
Please think of a way
To get hold of a spray

Sir_Nigel
07-02-2012, 11:38 AM
This summer mosquitoes are awful
It's strange that they're not made unlawful
Please think of a way
To get hold of a spray
Have mine – I’ve got a whole drawer full


I should say something wise and profound

Nymtoc
07-02-2012, 12:11 PM
I should say something wise and profound
Using words that impress and astound

Sir_Nigel
07-02-2012, 01:21 PM
I should say something wise and profound
Using words that impress and astound
I’ll garner acclaim

alexaherself
07-02-2012, 02:11 PM
I should say something wise and profound
Using words that impress and astound
Iíll garner acclaim
(Notoriety or fame)

archerjoe
07-02-2012, 07:23 PM
I should say something wise and profound
Using words that impress and astound
Iíll garner acclaim
(Notoriety or fame)
While I blather and rant and expound

Hot weather brings out all the freaks

Lavern08
07-02-2012, 08:17 PM
Hot weather brings out all the freaks
And the egg-frying on the ground geeks

alexaherself
07-02-2012, 09:08 PM
Hot weather brings out all the freaks
And the egg-frying on the ground geeks
They'll eat from the floor