Limericks Live!

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Roger J Carlson

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She put the money in her pocket
And a picture of him in her locket
Dangled it from her neck
And said, "What the heck?"
If I can't sell it, I'll hock it.




One day on his way to the vet
 

Roger J Carlson

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One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet
He smelled something rotten
Like an egg long forgotten
 
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Prosthetic Foreheads

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One day on his way to the vet
with a large and hair-challenged pet
He smelled something rotten
Like an egg long forgotten
'Twas the funkiest thing he'd yet met



Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
 

Pthom

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Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
Too much was revealed
When his seams came unsealed
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Young Ted grew to be a man-wh*re
You could tell by the spandex he wore
Too much was revealed
When his seams came unsealed
And peer-group response was quite poor.

I'm licking a liquorice lolly
 

Solatium

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I'm licking a liquorice lolly
and handing it over to Polly
She dropped it on the floor
Then asked me for more
But she ain't gonna get it, by golly!

A nervous young fellow from Frisco
 

Roger J Carlson

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A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants
 

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it
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A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants
split and showed off his lance
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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A nervous young fellow from Frisco
Wore his Travolta white suit to a disco
But the seam in his pants
split and showed off his lance
And his bum had a sheen like Crisco



Out on the beach in the sun
 

Unique

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Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
 

Pthom

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Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)
 

Unique

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Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)
I still got a pinch on the bun.


Some lines are a mystery to me
 

Shiraz

New kid, be gentle!
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Out on the beach in the sun
I ran into a witty old nun
Although I was nude
(Which you might say was rude)
She laughed as she pointed and made fun.

Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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Two at a time! Let's finish these and the person who finishes them start back with just one, but for now, you gotta do a line for each...

Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see




Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld
 

Solatium

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Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see
Be it meter or meaning


Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld
A continuous loop
 

Meaney

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.
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Some lines are a mystery to me
Something about them I can't see
Be it meter or meaning
or lines for dry cleaning


Do you remember how mom and dad yelled
Into one the arguments would meld
A continuous loop
of loud verbal poop
 
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