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Nymtoc
03-17-2012, 10:28 PM
"How lovely you look!" said Miss Tanny,
Hemming dresses and skirts for dear Annie.
"But if I were you

RedHat
03-18-2012, 02:02 AM
"How lovely you look!" said Miss Tanny,
Hemming dresses and skirts for dear Annie.
"But if I were you
I'd never wear blue

Nymtoc
03-18-2012, 02:28 AM
"How lovely you look!" said Miss Tanny,
Hemming dresses and skirts for dear Annie.
"But if I were you
I'd never wear blue
Consid'ring the size of your fanny."

He brushed his teeth twelve times a day

archerjoe
03-18-2012, 07:26 AM
He brushed his teeth twelve times a day
An effort to stop tooth decay

Nymtoc
03-18-2012, 12:42 PM
He brushed his teeth twelve times a day
An effort to stop tooth decay
And yet the poor lout

flyingtart
03-18-2012, 01:18 PM
He brushed his teeth twelve times a day
An effort to stop tooth decay
And yet the poor lout
Forgot to spit out

Nymtoc
03-18-2012, 07:05 PM
He brushed his teeth twelve times a day
An effort to stop tooth decay
And yet the poor lout
Forgot to spit out
So he swallowed the toothpaste. Oy vei!

Alaska has many great features

flyingtart
03-18-2012, 07:50 PM
Alaska has many great features
And more than its share of odd creatures

Debio
03-19-2012, 03:43 AM
Alaska has many great features
And more than its share of odd creatures
But the most Int'resting ones

Nymtoc
03-19-2012, 04:21 AM
Alaska has many great features
And more than its share of odd creatures
But the most Int'resting ones
Tote caribou guns

Matera the Mad
03-19-2012, 10:34 AM
Alaska has many great features
And more than its share of odd creatures
But the most Int'resting ones
Tote caribou guns
Lets go hunting; you shoot one, we'll eatchures.

Just what were you thinking, Miss Whipple,

Sir_Nigel
03-19-2012, 02:01 PM
Just what were you thinking, Miss Whipple
when you cruelly poked fun at that cripple?

flyingtart
03-19-2012, 02:13 PM
Just what were you thinking, Miss Whipple
when you cruelly poked fun at that cripple?
I have a good mind

Sir_Nigel
03-19-2012, 02:22 PM
Just what were you thinking, Miss Whipple
when you cruelly poked fun at that cripple?
I have a good mind
to spank your behind

RedHat
03-19-2012, 06:20 PM
Just what were you thinking, Miss Whipple
when you cruelly poked fun at that cripple?
I have a good mind
to spank your behind
But instead I'll just twist your nipple!

I once drank a cup of Clorox

iLion
03-19-2012, 08:26 PM
I once drank a cup of Clorox
Then laid down to die in this box

Nymtoc
03-19-2012, 09:56 PM
:evil *Swoops in again to give the kiddies a rap on the knuckles.*
The meter in the first line is screwed up. The only way to make it work is to put the emphasis on the last syllable of "Clorox"--Clor-OX, which nobody ever does (do they?). I've applied a little correction, which isn't great, but it works. Also, the past tense of "lie" is "lay." There, I've gotten my pedantry off my chest--for today, anyway. :D

I once drank a cup of hot Clorox
Then lay down to die in this store box
But oddly, I found

archerjoe
03-20-2012, 05:06 AM
I once drank a cup of hot Clorox
Then lay down to die in this store box
But oddly, I found
while sick as a hound

Nymtoc
03-20-2012, 05:14 AM
I once drank a cup of hot Clorox
Then lay down to die in this store box
But oddly, I found
while sick as a hound
I'd rather be me than a Boer ox. *

Today every human can say




* Hopelessly lame. :(

iLion
03-20-2012, 08:58 PM
Today every human can say
I'd rather eat ice cream than hay

Nymtoc
03-20-2012, 09:12 PM
Today every human can say
I'd rather eat ice cream than hay
But when I eat Jell-O

Pthom
03-21-2012, 02:29 AM
Today every human can say
I'd rather eat ice cream than hay
But when I eat Jell-O
I feel so unwell. Oh!

annetpfeffer
03-21-2012, 04:23 AM
Today every human can say
I'd rather eat ice cream than hay
But when I eat Jell-O
I feel so unwell. Oh!
I sleep for the rest of the day.


My favorite music is jazz

Sir_Nigel
03-21-2012, 12:30 PM
My favorite music is jazz
And I play my trombone with pizazz

Nymtoc
03-21-2012, 01:12 PM
My favorite music is jazz
And I play my trombone with pizazz
I play trumpet, too,

Sir_Nigel
03-21-2012, 02:20 PM
My favorite music is jazz
And I play my trombone with pizazz
I play trumpet, too,
And the didgeridoo

Nymtoc
03-21-2012, 07:50 PM
My favorite music is jazz
And I play my trombone with pizazz
I play trumpet, too,
And the didgeridoo,
And my playing is pure razzmatazz.

Michelle took a ride on the ferry

archerjoe
03-21-2012, 08:33 PM
Michelle took a ride on the ferry
With stooges Moe, Curly and Larry

iLion
03-21-2012, 08:46 PM
Michelle took a ride on the ferry
With stooges Moe, Curly and Larry
Moe poked the poor lass

onestepp
03-22-2012, 12:27 AM
Michelle took a ride on the ferry
With stooges Moe, Curly, and Larry
Moe poked the poor lass
She cried in her glass

Nymtoc
03-22-2012, 01:53 AM
Michelle took a ride on the ferry
With stooges Moe, Curly, and Larry
Moe poked the poor lass
She cried in her glass
Of gooseberry juice with a cherry.

If Earth is four billion years old

Sir_Nigel
03-22-2012, 05:05 PM
If Earth is four billion years old
and the middle has not yet gone cold

archerjoe
03-22-2012, 05:08 PM
If Earth is four billion years old
and the middle has not yet gone cold
Could dwarves live within?

RedHat
03-22-2012, 06:43 PM
If Earth is four billion years old
and the middle has not yet gone cold
Could dwarves live within?
The stout little men

iLion
03-22-2012, 08:59 PM
If Earth is four billion years old
and the middle has not yet gone cold
Could dwarves live within?
The stout little men
Would burn their patootees I'm told.


He died before saying good-bye

Clueless
03-22-2012, 09:31 PM
And left you with tears in his eye

Nymtoc
03-22-2012, 09:45 PM
He died before saying good-bye
And left you with tears in his eye
But then, in his will,

lyael
03-23-2012, 12:38 AM
He died before saying good-bye
And left you with tears in his eye
But then, in his will,
He told about Jill,

Sir_Nigel
03-23-2012, 12:42 PM
He died before saying good-bye
And left you with tears in his eye
But then, in his will,
He told about Jill,
His ‘ladyboy wife’ from Shanghai.


Oh no Mrs Pottinger No

archerjoe
03-23-2012, 04:29 PM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go

Nymtoc
03-23-2012, 05:12 PM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Let me show you how

RedHat
03-23-2012, 06:24 PM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Let me show you how
on this little cow

Sir_Nigel
03-23-2012, 07:22 PM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Let me show you how
on this little cow
Though it’s sick and illegal you know.


The farmer came out with his gun

archerjoe
03-23-2012, 07:28 PM
The farmer came out with his gun
I yanked up my trousers to run

iLion
03-23-2012, 09:21 PM
The farmer came out with his gun
I yanked up my trousers to run
She wouldn't let go

Clueless
03-23-2012, 09:42 PM
The farmer came out with his gun
I yanked up my trousers to run
She wouldn't let go
So I had to shout, "NO!"

archerjoe
03-24-2012, 07:10 AM
The farmer came out with his gun
I yanked up my trousers to run
She wouldn't let go
So I had to shout, "NO!"
"It's not what it seems, she's a nun!"

While asleep in the grand jury box

Nymtoc
03-24-2012, 07:26 AM
While asleep in the grand jury box
I dreamed of a bagel and lox

Matera the Mad
03-24-2012, 09:49 AM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Now do be a dear

Nymtoc
03-24-2012, 09:58 AM
Matera, you've got this limerick out of order. But since you did it, we might as well complete it. ;)

Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Now do be a dear
And bring me a beer

Matera the Mad
03-24-2012, 10:02 AM
Oh no Mrs Pottinger No
That is not where that thing should go
Now do be a dear
And bring me a beer
Then we'll try it once more, nice and slow ;)

If you turned your best coat inside out

Nymtoc
03-24-2012, 10:06 AM
If you turned your best coat inside out
And wore it while fishing for trout

writeronfire
03-25-2012, 07:42 PM
If you turned your best coat inside out
And wore it while fishing for trout
You might catch a break

Lavern08
03-26-2012, 01:44 AM
If you turned your best coat inside out
And wore it while fishing for trout
You might catch a break
Or fall in the lake

Nymtoc
03-26-2012, 03:11 AM
If you turned your best coat inside out
And wore it while fishing for trout
You might catch a break
Or fall in the lake
As soggy as wet sauerkraut.

"I did it again," said the nun

writeronfire
03-26-2012, 05:42 AM
"I did it again," said the nun,
"But please, do not tell anyone!"

Albedo of Zero
03-26-2012, 08:09 AM
"I did it again," said the nun,
"But please, do not tell anyone!"
"It's not a habit,"

lyael
03-26-2012, 10:12 AM
"I did it again," said the nun,
"But please, do not tell anyone!"
"It's not a habit,"
"And he's not the abbot,"
________________

Sir_Nigel
03-26-2012, 12:16 PM
"I did it again," said the nun,
"But please, do not tell anyone!"
"It's not a habit,"
"And he's not the abbot,
so please go away ‘til we’re done."


His Majesty Edward the First

Nymtoc
03-26-2012, 04:04 PM
His Majesty Edward the First
With legs long and skinny was cursed

Pthom
03-26-2012, 08:07 PM
His Majesty Edward the First
With legs long and skinny was cursed
No belt or suspenders

iLion
03-26-2012, 08:30 PM
His Majesty Edward the First
With legs long and skinny was cursed
No belt or suspenders
To cover his splendors

Clueless
03-26-2012, 09:39 PM
His Majesty Edward the First
With legs long and skinny was cursed
No belt or suspenders
To cover his splendors
he had to rely on two helpers

If I were to go and reply

Lavern08
03-26-2012, 11:55 PM
If I were to go and reply
I'd make up an outrageous lie

rhymegirl
03-27-2012, 03:55 AM
If I were to go and reply
I'd make up an outrageous lie
But I'm just too sweet

Nymtoc
03-27-2012, 04:52 AM
If I were to go and reply
I'd make up an outrageous lie
But I'm just too sweet
So I'll send you this tweet

Sir_Nigel
03-27-2012, 12:57 PM
If I were to go and reply
I'd make up an outrageous lie
But I'm just too sweet
So I'll send you this tweet
THE DAY OF DESTRUCTION IS NIGH !


He stared at the wall for an hour

iLion
03-27-2012, 07:57 PM
He stared at the wall for an hour
He said he could topple the tower

Clueless
03-27-2012, 08:03 PM
He stared at the wall for an hour
He said he could topple the tower
But to his dismay

iLion
03-27-2012, 08:30 PM
He stared at the wall for an hour
He said he could topple the tower
But to his dismay
It continued to stay

lyael
03-27-2012, 10:09 PM
He stared at the wall for an hour
He said he could topple the tower
But to his dismay
It continued to stay
So much for his (not) super-power.

lyael
03-27-2012, 10:10 PM
When Lacey upon his toes trod,

Clueless
03-28-2012, 05:43 AM
When Lacey upon his toes trod,
He went and complained to a Mod

Sir_Nigel
03-28-2012, 12:28 PM
When Lacey upon his toes trod,
He went and complained to a Mod
A finger was wagged

Nymtoc
03-28-2012, 01:15 PM
When Lacey upon his toes trod,
He went and complained to a Mod
A finger was wagged
And Lacey was snagged

Sir_Nigel
03-28-2012, 02:25 PM
When Lacey upon his toes trod,
He went and complained to a Mod
A finger was wagged
And Lacey was snagged
Then they murdered the miserable sod.



We’ll start with a matter much brighter

iLion
03-28-2012, 08:42 PM
We’ll start with a matter much brighter
As a positive, upbeat, good writer

Laurathewriter
03-28-2012, 09:56 PM
We’ll start with a matter much brighter
As a positive, upbeat, good writer
I use a quill pen

Nymtoc
03-29-2012, 08:09 AM
We’ll start with a matter much brighter
As a positive, upbeat, good writer
I use a quill pen,
A nice blotter, and then

Sir_Nigel
03-29-2012, 12:10 PM
We’ll start with a matter much brighter
As a positive, upbeat, good writer
I use a quill pen,
A nice blotter, and then
wear my archbishop’s hat with a mitre.



I’m wearing new Wellington boots

iLion
03-29-2012, 09:03 PM
I’m wearing new Wellington boots
I expect to see snappy salutes

Clueless
03-30-2012, 12:33 AM
I’m wearing new Wellington boots
I expect to see snappy salutes
And if I don't get 'em

kenthepen
03-30-2012, 12:35 AM
I'll pee on, and wet 'em

kenthepen
03-30-2012, 12:36 AM
I'm wearing new Wellington boots
I expect to see snappy salutes
And if I don't get 'em
I'll pee on and wet 'em

Sir_Nigel
03-30-2012, 12:34 PM
I'm wearing new Wellington boots
I expect to see snappy salutes
And if I don't get 'em
I'll pee on and wet 'em
- just one of my oddball pursuits .


They piled it all up in a heap

Nymtoc
03-30-2012, 01:21 PM
They piled it all up in a heap
And loaded it into a Jeep

iLion
03-30-2012, 09:30 PM
They piled it all up in a heap
And loaded it into a Jeep
But BS in DC

Sir_Nigel
04-02-2012, 11:51 AM
They piled it all up in a heap
And loaded it into a Jeep
But BS in DC
meant it wasn’t to be

Nymtoc
04-02-2012, 12:26 PM
They piled it all up in a heap
And loaded it into a Jeep
But BS in DC
meant it wasn’t to be
After all, what you sow's what you reap.

She painted her nails tangerine

Sir_Nigel
04-02-2012, 12:54 PM
She painted her nails tangerine
and her fingers a bright shade of green

archerjoe
04-02-2012, 04:47 PM
She painted her nails tangerine
and her fingers a bright shade of green
Her freshly shaved head

Sir_Nigel
04-02-2012, 05:30 PM
She painted her nails tangerine
and her fingers a bright shade of green
Her freshly shaved head
was dyed pillar box red

iLion
04-02-2012, 08:14 PM
She painted her nails tangerine
and her fingers a bright shade of green
Her freshly shaved head
was dyed pillar box red
And her face was.. well, just plain obscene.

I've gambled life savings away

Nymtoc
04-02-2012, 10:05 PM
I've gambled life savings away
I've nothing for this rainy day

Iceom
04-03-2012, 09:26 PM
I've gambled life savings away
I've nothing for this rainy day
Oh if only I had

Nymtoc
04-04-2012, 02:30 AM
I've gambled life savings away
I've nothing for this rainy day
Oh if only I had
Not been quite so bad

iLion
04-04-2012, 02:57 AM
I've gambled life savings away
I've nothing for this rainy day
Oh if only I had
Not been quite so bad
I might not be eating this hay.

My swim fins don't match my tutu

Nymtoc
04-04-2012, 04:51 AM
I've gambled life savings away
I've nothing for this rainy day
Oh if only I had
Not been quite so bad
I might not be eating this hay.

My swim fins don't match my tutu
They're causing a hullabaloo, too,

lyael
04-04-2012, 09:18 AM
My swim fins don't match my tutu
They're causing a hullabaloo, too,
Still, I turn pirouettes,

Nymtoc
04-04-2012, 09:25 AM
My swim fins don't match my tutu
They're causing a hullabaloo, too,
Still, I turn pirouettes,
While I click castanets

lyael
04-04-2012, 10:36 AM
My swim fins don't match my tutu
They're causing a hullabaloo, too,
Still, I turn pirouettes,
While I click castanets
All told, it's a fine ballyhoo.

lyael
04-04-2012, 10:41 AM
She showed up in scarlet stilettos,

Nymtoc
04-04-2012, 10:46 AM
She showed up in scarlet stilettos,
And danced to Franz Liszt allegrettos,

Pthom
04-04-2012, 08:47 PM
She showed up in scarlet stilettos,
And danced to Franz Liszt allegrettos,
Till her left big-toe bunion

Lavern08
04-05-2012, 01:31 AM
She showed up in scarlet stilettos,
And danced to Franz Liszt allegrettos,
Till her left big-toe bunion
Peeled off like an onion

Nymtoc
04-05-2012, 02:13 AM
She showed up in scarlet stilettos,
And danced to Franz Liszt allegrettos,
Till her left big-toe bunion
Peeled off like an onion
Now she can't even dance minuettos.

"Some thief stole my iPad," said Jake

Lavern08
04-05-2012, 06:28 PM
"Some thief stole my iPad," said Jake
"He ran off and fell in the lake"

Silent Rob
04-06-2012, 12:39 AM
"Some thief stole my iPad," said Jake
"He ran off and fell in the lake"
Now my apps are all wet

Pthom
04-07-2012, 05:18 AM
"Some thief stole my iPad," said Jake
"He ran off and fell in the lake.
Now my apps are all wet
And I don't think I'll get

Clueless
04-07-2012, 06:47 AM
Some thief stole my iPad," said Jake
"He ran off and fell in the lake.
Now my apps are all wet
And I don't think I'll get
Any refunds, cuz they'll think I'm fake.


If only should would have stayed longer

Nymtoc
04-07-2012, 08:20 PM
If only should would have stayed longer
My writing skills would have been stronger

annetpfeffer
04-07-2012, 08:55 PM
If only should would have stayed longer
My writing skills would have been stronger
I'd be good at proofing

Nymtoc
04-07-2012, 11:24 PM
If only should would have stayed longer
My writing skills would have been stronger
I'd be good at proofing
Instead of just goofing

lyael
04-08-2012, 04:47 AM
If only should would have stayed longer
My writing skills would have been stronger
I'd be good at proofing
Instead of just goofing
But with should gone, I couldn't be wronger.
__________________

Nymtoc
04-08-2012, 07:13 AM
If only should would have stayed longer
My writing skills would have been stronger
I'd be good at proofing
Instead of just goofing
But with should gone, I couldn't be wronger.

lyael didn't give us a line

iLion
04-09-2012, 08:18 PM
lyael didn't give us a line
Let's make her pay us a fine

Matera the Mad
04-13-2012, 05:06 AM
lyael didn't give us a line
Let's make her pay us a fine
Write two thousand times

Nymtoc
04-13-2012, 01:37 PM
lyael didn't give us a line
Let's make her pay us a fine
Write two thousand times,
"I'm ashamed of my crimes!"

iLion
04-13-2012, 08:50 PM
lyael didn't give us a line
Let's make her pay us a fine
Write two thousand times,
"I'm ashamed of my crimes!"
Then we'll all go to dinner at nine.

They met in a chat room one day

Nymtoc
04-14-2012, 03:53 AM
They met in a chat room one day
His flattery swept her away

iLion
04-16-2012, 08:55 PM
They met in a chat room one day
His flattery swept her away
But she was a cop

Sir_Nigel
04-17-2012, 12:32 PM
They met in a chat room one day
His flattery swept her away
But she was a cop
so he picked up his mop

iLion
04-17-2012, 09:42 PM
They met in a chat room one day
His flattery swept her away
But she was a cop
so he picked up his mop
To clean up the cell for the day.

He wanted to make her his bride

Nymtoc
04-17-2012, 11:12 PM
He wanted to make her his bride
But when he proposed, the lass cried

Sir_Nigel
04-18-2012, 05:25 PM
He wanted to make her his bride
But when he proposed, the lass cried
he was slimey and creepy

Nymtoc
04-18-2012, 07:01 PM
He wanted to make her his bride
But when he proposed, the lass cried
he was slimey and creepy
And smelled of dried pee-pee

iLion
04-18-2012, 08:35 PM
He wanted to make her his bride,
But when he proposed, the lass cried.
He was slimey and creepy
And smelled of dried pee-pee.
She told him "So sorry... I died!"

She wished he would leave her alone.

archerjoe
04-18-2012, 08:55 PM
She wished he would leave her alone.
Her voice took a desperate tone

iLion
04-18-2012, 09:09 PM
She wished he would leave her alone.
Her voice took a desperate tone
"I'll pay you", she said

Sir_Nigel
04-19-2012, 11:28 AM
She wished he would leave her alone.
Her voice took a desperate tone
"I'll pay you", she said
then shot him instead

Nymtoc
04-19-2012, 11:38 AM
She wished he would leave her alone.
Her voice took a desperate tone
"I'll pay you", she said
then shot him instead
And played a dirge on her trombone.

He wanted to murder his boss

iLion
04-19-2012, 09:03 PM
He wanted to murder his boss;
"Just open the window and toss!"

Sir_Nigel
04-20-2012, 11:16 AM
He wanted to murder his boss;
"Just open the window and toss!"
He'll land with a splat

iLion
04-20-2012, 08:45 PM
He wanted to murder his boss;
"Just open the window and toss!"
He'll land with a splat
Just don't hit that cat

Nymtoc
04-20-2012, 10:25 PM
He wanted to murder his boss;
"Just open the window and toss!"
He'll land with a splat
Just don't hit that cat
Or land on my purty white hoss.

The moon's slowly drifting away

iLion
04-21-2012, 12:10 AM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day

oneblindmouse
04-21-2012, 09:47 PM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day
But the cat in the hat

Nymtoc
04-21-2012, 10:07 PM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day
But the cat in the hat
Just sits and grows fat

oneblindmouse
04-21-2012, 11:26 PM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day
But the cat in the hat

Nymtoc
04-22-2012, 12:37 AM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day
But the cat in the hat
Just sits and grows fat

MidlifeMark
04-22-2012, 10:48 PM
The moon's slowly drifting away
She moons me at least twice a day
But the cat in the hat
Just sits and grows fat
On mouse-flavored bon-bons and hay.

My lawn just got soaked by a rain

Nymtoc
04-23-2012, 12:03 AM
My lawn just got soaked by a rain
Once again--or should I say "agayne"?

Sir_Nigel
04-24-2012, 06:22 PM
My lawn just got soaked by a rain
Once again--or should I say "agayne"?
I can’t cut the grass

archerjoe
04-24-2012, 07:00 PM
My lawn just got soaked by a rain
Once again--or should I say "agayne"?
I can’t cut the grass
So me and my lass

iLion
04-24-2012, 08:49 PM
My lawn just got soaked by a rain
Once again--or should I say "agayne"?
I can’t cut the grass
So me and my lass
Just sit and go slowly insane.

He drew out his gun and took aim

Nymtoc
04-24-2012, 09:16 PM
He drew out his gun and took aim
At the treacherous film-noir-ish dame

Sir_Nigel
04-25-2012, 12:20 PM
He drew out his gun and took aim
At the treacherous film-noir-ish dame
This sultry brunette

iLion
04-25-2012, 08:25 PM
He drew out his gun and took aim
At the treacherous film-noir-ish dame
This sultry brunette
Was all legs, and yet,

Nymtoc
04-25-2012, 08:37 PM
He drew out his gun and took aim
At the treacherous film-noir-ish dame
This sultry brunette
Was all legs, and yet,
She was bad to the bone. What a shame!

If absinthe can drive people mad

iLion
04-25-2012, 08:45 PM
If absinthe can drive people mad
I'll get some and then I'll be glad

archerjoe
04-26-2012, 09:20 PM
If absinthe can drive people mad
I'll get some and then I'll be glad
My brain will turn green

Nymtoc
04-26-2012, 09:25 PM
If absinthe can drive people mad
I'll get some and then I'll be glad
My brain will turn green
And my thoughts--all obscene

iLion
04-26-2012, 10:37 PM
If absinthe can drive people mad,
I'll get some and then I'll be glad.
My brain will turn green,
And my thoughts--all obscene.
The best day that I've ever had.

She said she had mastered some tricks

Lavern08
04-26-2012, 11:11 PM
She said she had mastered some tricks
She used them on young, country hicks

Sir_Nigel
04-27-2012, 12:28 PM
She said she had mastered some tricks
She used them on young, country hicks
She juggled her plates

iLion
04-27-2012, 08:55 PM
She said she had mastered some tricks
She used them on young, country hicks
She juggled her plates
while hoping for dates

Matera the Mad
04-30-2012, 08:39 AM
She said she had mastered some tricks
She used them on young, country hicks
She juggled her plates
while hoping for dates
But none took her out to the flicks.

One young man made eyes at her, joking

Sir_Nigel
04-30-2012, 11:24 AM
One young man made eyes at her, joking
He reckoned her fire needed stoking

iLion
04-30-2012, 09:30 PM
One young man made eyes at her, joking
He reckoned her fire needed stoking
She was certainly witty

iLion
05-02-2012, 08:58 PM
One young man made eyes at her, joking
He reckoned her fire needed stoking
She was certainly witty
And showed him her kitty

Nymtoc
05-02-2012, 09:29 PM
One young man made eyes at her, joking
He reckoned her fire needed stoking
She was certainly witty
And showed him her kitty
But told him it wasn't for poking.

"Don't enter that door!" said the duke

iLion
05-02-2012, 09:40 PM
"Don't enter that door!" said the duke
My squire is having a puke!

Pthom
05-03-2012, 12:56 AM
"Don't enter that door!" said the duke
My squire is having a puke!
He ate something iffy

Lavern08
05-03-2012, 06:56 PM
"Don't enter that door!" said the duke
My squire is having a puke!
He ate something iffy
And it wasn't Jiffy

archerjoe
05-03-2012, 08:47 PM
"Don't enter that door!" said the duke
My squire is having a puke!
He ate something iffy
And it wasn't Jiffy
Besides he's just wearing a tuque

"Gadzooks!" said Lord Ashton the Third

iLion
05-03-2012, 09:09 PM
"Gadzooks!" said Lord Ashton the Third.
"M'Lady's so fat it's absurd!"

Pthom
05-03-2012, 10:24 PM
"Gadzooks!" said Lord Ashton the Third.
"M'Lady's so fat it's absurd!
She can't get her corset

Sir_Nigel
05-04-2012, 05:14 PM
"Gadzooks!" said Lord Ashton the Third.
"M'Lady's so fat it's absurd!
She can't get her corset
to fit and must force it

Pthom
05-05-2012, 01:47 AM
"Gadzooks!" said Lord Ashton the Third.
"M'Lady's so fat it's absurd!
She can't get her corset
To fit and must force it
Around big bottom. My word!"

"Good grief!" said the milliner's wife.

Nymtoc
05-06-2012, 08:40 PM
"Good grief!" said the milliner's wife.
"He chopped up my hat with a knife!"

archerjoe
05-07-2012, 04:55 PM
"Good grief!" said the milliner's wife.
"He chopped up my hat with a knife!"
"And seasoned it, too"

Nymtoc
05-07-2012, 07:08 PM
"Good grief!" said the milliner's wife.
"He chopped up my hat with a knife!"
"And seasoned it, too
With horseradish goo!

iLion
05-07-2012, 09:50 PM
"Good grief!" said the milliner's wife.
"He chopped up my hat with a knife!"
"And seasoned it, too
With horseradish goo!
The best tasting hat of my life!"


Warm weather means I'll get more peeks

archerjoe
05-09-2012, 05:46 AM
Warm weather means I'll get more peeks
At sun averse pale nerdy freaks


<I think the meter works>

Nymtoc
05-09-2012, 06:52 AM
Warm weather means I'll get more peeks
At sun averse pale nerdy freaks
But what good is that?

iLion
05-09-2012, 08:40 PM
Warm weather means I'll get more peeks
At sun averse pale nerdy freaks
But what good is that?
I'd rather look at

Nymtoc
05-09-2012, 10:46 PM
Warm weather means I'll get more peeks
At sun averse pale nerdy freaks
But what good is that?
I'd rather look at
Tanned bods in bikinis, not geeks.

"You've rudely insulted me, sir!"

onestepp
05-10-2012, 05:37 AM
You, rudely insulted me, sir
As I wasn't looking at her

iLion
05-10-2012, 08:58 PM
You, rudely insulted me, sir
As I wasn't looking at her
So unslap my face

Nymtoc
05-11-2012, 05:29 AM
You, rudely insulted me, sir
As I wasn't looking at her
So unslap my face
And get off my case

Sir_Nigel
05-11-2012, 03:04 PM
You, rudely insulted me, sir
As I wasn't looking at her
So unslap my face
And get off my case
or a bothersome spat may occur

The Dong had a luminous nose

Nymtoc
05-11-2012, 06:49 PM
The Dong had a luminous nose
So long it resembled a hose

StephanieFox
05-12-2012, 05:20 AM
The Dong had a luminous nose
So long it resembled a hose
But a fine plastic surgeon

Nymtoc
05-12-2012, 08:40 AM
The Dong had a luminous nose
So long it resembled a hose
But a fine plastic surgeon
Needed no urgin'

Sir_Nigel
05-14-2012, 01:50 PM
The Dong had a luminous nose
So long it resembled a hose
But a fine plastic surgeon
Needed no urgin'
and displayed him in travelling shows


“I’m Henry the Eighth!” he declared

Nymtoc
05-14-2012, 04:02 PM
“I’m Henry the Eighth!” he declared
"To me none can e'er be compared!"

Pthom
05-14-2012, 10:01 PM
“I’m Henry the Eighth!” he declared
"To me none can e'er be compared!
My talent for mirth

Nymtoc
05-15-2012, 08:55 AM
“I’m Henry the Eighth!” he declared
"To me none can e'er be compared!
My talent for mirth
Is as broad as my girth

Pthom
05-15-2012, 11:19 AM
“I’m Henry the Eighth!” he declared
"To me none can e'er be compared!
My talent for mirth
Is as broad as my girth.
Yea, for trousers, two marquees are paired."

The nudist would not go indoors.

Sir_Nigel
05-15-2012, 11:29 AM
The nudist would not go indoors
but remained on the grass on all fours

iLion
05-15-2012, 08:53 PM
The nudist would not go indoors
but remained on the grass on all fours
he barked like a dog

archerjoe
05-15-2012, 09:32 PM
The nudist would not go indoors
but remained on the grass on all fours
he barked like a dog
and hopped like a frog

Pthom
05-15-2012, 10:39 PM
The nudist would not go indoors
but remained on the grass on all fours.
He barked like a dog
and hopped like a frog.
I'm glad he's not mine. Is he yours?

When summer begins, I'll be ready

Nymtoc
05-16-2012, 07:01 PM
When summer begins, I'll be ready
To play quoits with my old Uncle Freddie

Lavern08
05-16-2012, 10:53 PM
When summer begins, I'll be ready
To play quoits with my old Uncle Freddie
Of course, he will cheat

Bricta
05-17-2012, 06:34 AM
When summer begins, I'll be ready
To play quoits with my old Uncle Freddie
Of course, he will cheat
And pass out in the heat,

Nymtoc
05-17-2012, 10:42 AM
When summer begins, I'll be ready
To play quoits with my old Uncle Freddie
Of course, he will cheat
And pass out in the heat.
I'll be stuck there with Freddie unsteady.

My favorite store's going to close!

Sir_Nigel
05-17-2012, 02:51 PM
My favorite store's going to close!
It had herbs for the connoisseur’s nose

Lavern08
05-17-2012, 07:28 PM
My favorite store's going to close!
It had herbs for the connoisseur’s nose
It also sold candy

archerjoe
05-17-2012, 08:59 PM
My favorite store's going to close!
It had herbs for the connoisseur’s nose
It also sold candy
And fruit-flavored brandy

Nymtoc
05-17-2012, 09:35 PM
My favorite store's going to close!
It had herbs for the connoisseur’s nose
It also sold candy
And fruit-flavored brandy
That made your kiss taste like a rose.

My boss has a belly so big

archerjoe
05-17-2012, 09:52 PM
My boss has a belly so big
He's the envy of many a pig

Pthom
05-17-2012, 10:40 PM
My boss has a belly so big
He's the envy of many a pig.
You must realize

iLion
05-17-2012, 11:02 PM
My boss has a belly so big
He's the envy of many a pig.
You must realize
You need huge thighs

StephanieFox
05-19-2012, 05:37 AM
My boss has a belly so big
He's the envy of many a pig.
You must realize
You need huge thighs
For a pig to become a bigwig.



The morning, it started out hot

Sir_Nigel
05-21-2012, 02:29 PM
The morning, it started out hot
So I took to the sea on my yacht

iLion
05-21-2012, 09:20 PM
The morning, it started out hot,
So I took to the sea on my yacht,
Put ice in my shorts,

Nymtoc
05-21-2012, 09:24 PM
The morning, it started out hot,
So I took to the sea on my yacht,
Put ice in my shorts,
Drank beer by the quarts

iLion
05-21-2012, 09:49 PM
The morning, it started out hot,
So I took to the sea on my yacht,
Put ice in my shorts,
Drank beer by the quarts
And peed overboard a whole lot.

She asked if I wanted to see

Sir_Nigel
05-22-2012, 12:28 PM
She asked if I wanted to see
She was eager to show ‘em to me

Nymtoc
05-22-2012, 03:33 PM
She asked if I wanted to see
She was eager to show ‘em to me
I asked, "Can I feel?"

Sir_Nigel
05-22-2012, 04:06 PM
She asked if I wanted to see
She was eager to show ‘em to me
I asked, "Can I feel?
And confirmed they were real

iLion
05-22-2012, 09:49 PM
She asked if I wanted to see.
She was eager to show ‘em to me.
I asked, "Can I feel?"
And confirmed they were real.
She wants me to pay a high fee.

Those puppies are beautifully big

Nymtoc
05-22-2012, 10:00 PM
Those puppies are beautifully big
Their long hair would make a nice wig

Lavern08
05-23-2012, 09:58 PM
Those puppies are beautifully big
Their long hair would make a nice wig
I think that I'll clip 'em

StephanieFox
05-24-2012, 04:32 AM
Those puppies are beautifully big
Their long hair would make a nice wig
I think that I'll clip 'em
And that would equip 'em

Nymtoc
05-24-2012, 07:24 AM
Those puppies are beautifully big
Their long hair would make a nice wig
I think that I'll clip 'em
And that would equip 'em
To look like some weird little pig.

Aunt Sairey puts booze in her tea

Sir_Nigel
05-24-2012, 12:03 PM
Aunt Sairey puts booze in her tea
then she sings to herself in a tree

Lavern08
05-24-2012, 06:42 PM
Aunt Sairey puts booze in her tea
then she sings to herself in a tree
When she's done with her song

Nymtoc
05-24-2012, 07:11 PM
Aunt Sairey puts booze in her tea
then she sings to herself in a tree
When she's done with her song
She puffs on her bong

iLion
05-24-2012, 08:42 PM
Aunt Sairey puts booze in her tea
then she sings to herself in a tree
When she's done with her song
She puffs on her bong
And dances till quarter to three.

I fear that I'm wasting my life

Lavern08
05-24-2012, 08:44 PM
I fear that I'm wasting my life
It's filled with such fear and much strife

Pthom
05-24-2012, 09:09 PM
I fear that I'm wasting my life
It's filled with such fear and much strife
All my hangers are bent

Nymtoc
05-24-2012, 09:19 PM
I fear that I'm wasting my life
It's filled with such fear and much strife
All my hangers are bent
I can't pay my rent

StephanieFox
05-25-2012, 01:49 AM
I fear that I'm wasting my life
It's filled with such fear and much strife
All my hangers are bent
I can't pay my rent
But it's better than being Lot's wife.


There's a thunderstorm coming this way

Sir_Nigel
05-25-2012, 12:26 PM
There's a thunderstorm coming this way
And I’m in a cabriolet

iLion
05-25-2012, 09:06 PM
There's a thunderstorm coming this way
And I’m in a cabriolet
I wish I had worn

Nymtoc
05-25-2012, 11:23 PM
There's a thunderstorm coming this way
And I’m in a cabriolet
I wish I had worn
Some pants that weren't torn

onestepp
05-28-2012, 08:41 AM
There's a thunderstorm coming this way
And I'm in a cabriolet
I wish I had worn
Some pants that weren't torn
Because I"ll just be washed away

Nymtoc
05-28-2012, 08:52 AM
Good line, onestepp, but after you end a limerick you're supposed to start a new one. I'll start one for you. :D

I danced with a mermaid last night

Sir_Nigel
05-28-2012, 12:01 PM
I danced with a mermaid last night
But prospects of romance are slight

iLion
05-29-2012, 12:43 AM
I danced with a mermaid last night
But prospects of romance are slight
The top half is "wow!"

Nymtoc
05-29-2012, 01:25 AM
I danced with a mermaid last night
But prospects of romance are slight
The top half is "wow!"
I'd like to...but how?

Chrissy
05-29-2012, 01:55 AM
I danced with a mermaid last night
But prospects of romance are slight
The top half is "wow!"
I'd like to...but how?
When I asked she went pow! with her right


Love is the meaning of life

iLion
05-29-2012, 02:08 AM
I danced with a mermaid last night
But prospects of romance are slight
The top half is "wow!"
I'd like to...but how?
We'd just be a flop in the night.

I cast my net out to the sea

iLion
05-29-2012, 02:10 AM
Sorry! I was late to the party! I'll go with Chrissy's............

Love is the meaning of life
and here I am now with no wife

Nymtoc
05-29-2012, 02:43 AM
Love is the meaning of life
and here I am now with no wife
But still there's a chance

Zeddo
05-29-2012, 02:53 AM
Love is the meaning of life
and here I am now with no wife
But still there's a chance
To find true romance

iLion
05-29-2012, 04:20 AM
Love is the meaning of life
and here I am now with no wife
But still there's a chance
To find true romance
Just alter my face with a knife. <--- plastic surgeon, not serial killer. :)

I was hiding just under the bed

Nymtoc
05-29-2012, 04:41 AM
I was hiding just under the bed
When "Here comes my husband!" she said

StephanieFox
05-29-2012, 07:46 AM
I was hiding just under the bed
When "Here comes my husband!" she said
But I stayed icy calm

Zeddo
05-29-2012, 10:01 AM
I was hiding just under the bed
When "Here comes my husband!" she said
But I stayed icy calm
Till he stepped on my palm

Sir_Nigel
05-29-2012, 11:42 AM
I was hiding just under the bed
When "Here comes my husband!" she said
But I stayed icy calm
Till he stepped on my palm
So I shot him and left him for dead.

A rather dark ending I feel

Nymtoc
05-29-2012, 01:55 PM
A rather dark ending I feel
But what I have told you is real

Sir_Nigel
05-29-2012, 04:41 PM
A rather dark ending I feel
But what I have told you is real
So don’t say a word

annetpfeffer
05-29-2012, 06:28 PM
A rather dark ending I feel
But what I have told you is real
So don’t say a word
Unless you have heard

iLion
05-29-2012, 09:17 PM
A rather dark ending I feel
But what I have told you is real
So don’t say a word
Unless you have heard
That the husband is going to heal.

So now I'm a man on the run

Zeddo
05-29-2012, 10:00 PM
So now I'm a man on the run
No home, no girlfriend, no fun

Sir_Nigel
05-30-2012, 12:39 PM
So now I'm a man on the run
No home, no girlfriend, no fun
So I’ll flee to Peru

iLion
05-30-2012, 08:20 PM
So now I'm a man on the run
No home, no girlfriend, no fun
So I’ll flee to Peru
And I wish you would, too