Limericks Live!

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Prosthetic Foreheads

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Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
And put away your po-po
 

Yeshanu

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Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
Relax! Don't go loco
 

poetinahat

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Spring is on its way
so put on your snowpants and play.
Suck down some cocoa
And put away your po-po (relax, don't go loco)
and slide on your sled while ye may

A painter was dipping his brush
 

Pthom

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A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush
He tripped and fell down
Stuck his foot in the brown
 

Shiraz

New kid, be gentle!
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A painter was dipping his brush
Into the delicate colour of blush
He tripped and fell down
Stuck his foot in the brown
And his beautiful canvas, he did crush.

I once met a man in the park
 

poetinahat

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I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella
He pointed to his little fella
 

poetinahat

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I once met a man in the park
Reading, while naked as a lark
So I stole his umbrella
He pointed to his little fella
and said, "How ya like my bookmark?"

I can't understand Dr. Phil
 

poetinahat

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I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill
His moustache and bald head
look like Pringle's Can Ted*



* (let's just pretend that's his name)
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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I can't understand Dr. Phil
To think of him gives me a chill
His moustache and bald head
look like Pringle's Can Ted*
And with plenty of bullsh*t he's filled**

**(no pretending necessary)

A dirty old man and his maid
 
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Pthom

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A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
 

NeuroFizz

The grad students did it
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A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong
 

poetinahat

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Oh, come on. Where else was this going?

A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong
with the end of his schlong
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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Where else could it go?

A dirty old man and his maid
Tried to figure out how to get paid
he dusted her thong
with the end of his schlong
She gasped, "That's quite nice," and she stayed.




A night on the town's what Fred needs
 

trumancoyote

My Name is Sweet Thing
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[A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads
but his wife, she objects...
but then again, she's a woman, so why listen to her, because, really, who listens to women? -- especially when they object.
 

Prosthetic Foreheads

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A night on the town's what Fred needs
To give topless girls mardi gras beads
but his wife, she objects...
but then again, she's a woman, so why listen to her, because, really, who listens to women? -- especially when they object.

That was a long fourth line, indeed




Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
 
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Unique

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Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound
 

poetinahat

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Jen's a fine young lass who sleeps 'round
despite that young cads do abound
She insists, "It's no bother,
 
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