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annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 06:24 AM
So, Nymtoc, I hope that you're happy
And not more than typically sappy
The ruder the rhyme
(please stop short of crime)
And please keep it short, sweet, and snappy!


My daughter is eighteen today ---(It's true!)

Steve Coate
10-12-2011, 06:28 AM
My daughter is eighteen today ---(It's true!)
She's changed in every way -- (she grew!)

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 06:43 AM
My daughter is eighteen today ---(It's true!)
She's changed every possible way -- (she grew!)
She knows how to drive

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2011, 01:36 PM
My daughter is eighteen today
She's changed every possible way
She knows how to drive
frequents every dive ?

flyingtart
10-12-2011, 02:01 PM
My daughter is eighteen today
She's changed every possible way
She knows how to drive
frequents every dive ?
And makes all the men walk her way


Her boyfriend's a bit of a tool

Nymtoc
10-12-2011, 03:31 PM
Her boyfriend's a bit of a tool
She thinks he's incredibly cool

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 04:32 PM
Her boyfriend's a bit of a tool
She thinks he's incredibly cool
She keeps him in line
__________________

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2011, 05:04 PM
Her boyfriend's a bit of a tool
She thinks he's incredibly cool
She keeps him in line
with a No Entry sign

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 05:40 PM
Her boyfriend's a bit of a tool
She thinks he's incredibly cool
She keeps him in line
with a No Entry sign,
Says "You better remember, I rule."


When writers sit down to the screen

iLion
10-12-2011, 08:51 PM
When writers sit down to the screen
To dream up their next crazy scene

Pthom
10-12-2011, 08:55 PM
When writers sit down to the screen
To compose an award-winning scene
To dream up their next crazy scene
Quite often the 'web'

Nymtoc
10-12-2011, 09:04 PM
When writers sit down to the screen
To dream up their next crazy scene
Quite often the 'web'
Will flow but then ebb

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 09:07 PM
When writers sit down to the screen
To dream up their next crazy scene
Quite often the 'web'
Will flow but then ebb
It's not easy to say what you mean!


The editor's letter arrived

iLion
10-12-2011, 09:14 PM
The editor's letter arrived
"Your story", he said, "too contrived!"

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 10:46 PM
The editor's letter arrived
"Your story", he said, "too contrived!
Your characters weak

Matera the Mad
10-13-2011, 04:26 AM
The editor's letter arrived
"Your story", he said, "too contrived!
Your characters weak
With no goals to seek

Nymtoc
10-13-2011, 05:11 AM
The editor's letter arrived
"Your story", he said, "too contrived!
Your characters weak
With no goals to seek
Your effort cannot be revived!"

I fear I don't know how to write

iLion
10-13-2011, 05:18 AM
I fear I don't know how to write
Tho I try it with all of my might

annetpfeffer
10-13-2011, 06:06 AM
I fear I don't know how to write
Tho I try it with all of my might
I can't find my voice

Matera the Mad
10-13-2011, 06:14 AM
I fear I don't know how to write
Tho I try it with all of my might
I can't find my voice
Every way's the wrong choice

annetpfeffer
10-13-2011, 08:13 AM
I fear I don't know how to write
Tho I try it with all of my might
I can't find my voice
Every way's the wrong choice
Is it back to bartending at night?


My main character does have appeal

kellysaid
10-13-2011, 07:24 PM
My main character does have appeal
Cute smile and eyes of teal

flyingtart
10-13-2011, 07:52 PM
My main character does have appeal
Cute smile and eyes of teal
But my antagonist

annetpfeffer
10-13-2011, 08:06 PM
My main character does have appeal
Cute smile, eyes the color of teal ***meter
But my antagonist
Would be thoroughly pissed

flyingtart
10-13-2011, 08:28 PM
My main character does have appeal
Cute smile, eyes the color of teal ***meter
But my antagonist
Would be thoroughly pissed
If he drank too much wine with his meal.


When dogging I always wear black

Nymtoc
10-13-2011, 09:37 PM
When dogging I always wear black
You see, I've acquired the knack

annetpfeffer
10-13-2011, 11:57 PM
When dogging I always wear black
You see, I've acquired the knack
to lurk in the park

Sir_Nigel
10-14-2011, 01:33 PM
When dogging I always wear black
You see, I've acquired the knack
to lurk in the park
in a mask for a lark

Matera the Mad
10-14-2011, 02:50 PM
When dogging I always wear black
You see, I've acquired the knack
to lurk in the park
in a mask for a lark
I pop out crying "Het, babe, I'm Jack!"

One day, a young maiden who jogged there

flyingtart
10-14-2011, 02:59 PM
One day, a young maiden who jogged there
Cried out "Hey, the park is quite clogged. Where

Matera the Mad
10-14-2011, 03:02 PM
One day, a young maiden who jogged there
Cried out "Hey, the park is quite clogged. Where
Once I ran freely

Sir_Nigel
10-14-2011, 04:04 PM
One day, a young maiden who jogged there
Cried out "Hey, the park is quite clogged. Where
once I ran freely
it's too touchy feely

annetpfeffer
10-14-2011, 04:21 PM
One day, a young maiden who jogged there
Cried out "Hey, the park is quite clogged. Where
once I ran freely
it's too touchy feely.
Perhaps, if instead, I just blogged there?"


On cold days, remember your jacket

Sir_Nigel
10-14-2011, 05:01 PM
On cold days, remember your jacket,
if you see a bare bottom just smack it

Lavern08
10-14-2011, 06:27 PM
On cold days, remember your jacket,
if you see a bare bottom just smack it
But don't get dismayed

Nymtoc
10-14-2011, 07:47 PM
On cold days, remember your jacket,
if you see a bare bottom just smack it
But don't get dismayed
If more is displayed

iLion
10-14-2011, 08:02 PM
On cold days, remember your jacket,
if you see a bare bottom just smack it
But don't get dismayed
If more is displayed
Instead of a smack it, just whack it.

In the summer its so nice to see

flyingtart
10-14-2011, 08:28 PM
In the summer its so nice to see
The birdies as cute as can be

Lavern08
10-14-2011, 08:57 PM
In the summer its so nice to see
The birdies as cute as can be
A birdie named Sue

archerjoe
10-14-2011, 09:28 PM
In the summer its so nice to see
The birdies as cute as can be
A birdie named Sue
Wore something see-through

Nymtoc
10-14-2011, 09:42 PM
In the summer its so nice to see
The birdies as cute as can be
A birdie named Sue
Wore something see-through
And boy birdies scoped her with glee.

We're nearing that time of the year

flyingtart
10-14-2011, 10:07 PM
We're nearing that time of the year
When good folk are trembling with fear

annetpfeffer
10-14-2011, 11:36 PM
We're nearing that time of the year
When good folk are trembling with fear
The ghosts are out flying

Nymtoc
10-14-2011, 11:51 PM
We're nearing that time of the year
When good folk are trembling with fear
The ghosts are out flying
And there's no denying

Pthom
10-14-2011, 11:56 PM
We're nearing that time of the year
When good folk are trembling with fear
The ghosts are out flying
And there's no denying
That midterm tests are almost here!

The guy next door grew a huge pumpkin

MidlifeMark
10-15-2011, 02:24 AM
The guy next door grew a huge pumpkin
The batter called the home plate ump kin

annetpfeffer
10-15-2011, 11:12 AM
The guy next door grew a huge pumpkin
The batter called the home plate ump kin
Good luck with this rhyme, folks

flyingtart
10-15-2011, 11:18 AM
The guy next door grew a huge pumpkin
The batter called the home plate ump kin
Good luck with this rhyme, folks
You will not get good jokes

iLion
10-15-2011, 03:20 PM
The guy next door grew a huge pumpkin
The batter called the home plate ump kin
Good luck with this rhyme, folks
You will not get good jokes
You'll be crowned as the neighborhood bumpkin.

Her costume included a mask

MidlifeMark
10-15-2011, 03:25 PM
Her costume included a mask
And in her hip pocket, a flask

flyingtart
10-15-2011, 04:11 PM
Her costume included a mask
And in her hip pocket, a flask
A headdress of feathers

iLion
10-15-2011, 05:36 PM
Her costume included a mask
And in her hip pocket, a flask
A headdress of feathers
A tutu and leathers

archerjoe
10-15-2011, 06:04 PM
Her costume included a mask
And in her hip pocket, a flask
A headdress of feathers
A tutu and leathers
Underneath, you don't want to ask

She kissed him on top his bald head

flyingtart
10-15-2011, 06:54 PM
She kissed him on top his bald head
Then told him to lie on the bed

MidlifeMark
10-15-2011, 07:50 PM
She kissed him on top his bald head
Then told him to lie on the bed
A can of whipped cream

Nymtoc
10-15-2011, 08:04 PM
She kissed him on top his bald head
Then told him to lie on the bed
A can of whipped cream
Would pump up the theme

Pthom
10-16-2011, 01:49 AM
She kissed him on top his bald head
Then told him to lie on the cold bed . . . adjusted for matching meter
A can of whipped cream
Would pump up the theme
And the sex will be better (so she said).

One day we'll all find ourselves wanting.

Matera the Mad
10-16-2011, 07:14 AM
One day we'll all find ourselves wanting.
It'll do no good whining and ranting

annetpfeffer
10-16-2011, 07:23 AM
One day we'll all find ourselves wanting.
It'll do no good whining and ranting
So, suck it up, all

Steve Coate
10-16-2011, 09:09 AM
One day we'll all find ourselves wanting.
It'll do no good whining and ranting
So, suck it up, all
We'll have a ball

MidlifeMark
10-16-2011, 05:34 PM
One day we'll all find ourselves wanting.
It'll do no good whining and ranting
So, suck it up, all
We'll have a ball
Tomorrow will not seem so daunting.

The Cowboys are here in Gillette

Nymtoc
10-16-2011, 07:15 PM
The Cowboys are here in Gillette
And Brady's as good as they get

annetpfeffer
10-17-2011, 05:24 AM
The Cowboys are here in Gillette
And Brady's as good as they get
But in Cleveland, the Browns

flyingtart
10-17-2011, 04:49 PM
The Cowboys are here in Gillette
And Brady's as good as they get
But in Cleveland, the Browns
Are causing some frowns

Matera the Mad
10-18-2011, 03:29 AM
The Cowboys are here in Gillette
And Brady's as good as they get
But in Cleveland, the Browns
Are causing some frowns
With scores some would like to forget

I wish football season was over

Steve Coate
10-18-2011, 03:50 AM
I wish football season was over
I'd much rather be in Hanover

Sir_Nigel
10-18-2011, 11:37 AM
I wish football season was over
I'd much rather be in Hanover
or darkest Peru

flyingtart
10-18-2011, 12:36 PM
I wish football season was over
I'd much rather be in Hanover
or darkest Peru
Where, at half past two

Sir_Nigel
10-18-2011, 12:58 PM
I wish football season was over
I'd much rather be in Hanover
or darkest Peru
Where, at half past two
they roll in elation in clover.


She finally found one that fitted

flyingtart
10-18-2011, 03:26 PM
She finally found one that fitted
But it just didn't suit, she admited

Sir_Nigel
10-18-2011, 04:14 PM
She finally found one that fitted
But it just didn't suit, she admitted
The sales lady said:

flyingtart
10-18-2011, 05:26 PM
She finally found one that fitted
But it just didn't suit, she admitted
The sales lady said:
"Try it over your head"

Sir_Nigel
10-18-2011, 06:28 PM
She finally found one that fitted
But it just didn't suit, she admitted
The sales lady said:
"Try it over your head
as your skin tone is greasy and pitted."


She swung for the acid-tongued cow

annetpfeffer
10-18-2011, 08:26 PM
She swung for the acid-tongued cow
On my life, sir, I couldn't see how

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2011, 02:42 PM
She swung for the acid-tongued cow
On my life, sir, I couldn't see how
But after a scuffle

flyingtart
10-19-2011, 04:00 PM
She swung for the acid-tongued cow
On my life, sir, I couldn't see how
But after a scuffle
And quite a kerfuffle

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2011, 05:12 PM
She swung for the acid-tongued cow
On my life, sir, I couldn't see how
But after a scuffle
And quite a kerfuffle
they agreed no more scrapping for now.



Old Ted and his terrier Spot

flyingtart
10-19-2011, 05:46 PM
Old Ted and his terrier Spot
Like roaming the hillsides a lot

Pthom
10-19-2011, 08:55 PM
Old Ted and his terrier Spot
Like roaming the hillsides a lot
One time, with a big stick

Nymtoc
10-19-2011, 09:09 PM
Old Ted and his terrier Spot
Like roaming the hillsides a lot
One time, with a stick* (*meter)
They tried a new trick

flyingtart
10-19-2011, 09:45 PM
Old Ted and his terrier Spot
Like roaming the hillsides a lot
One time, with a stick
They tried a new trick
The details of which I've forgot


Don't tell me you did it again

annetpfeffer
10-19-2011, 10:41 PM
Don't tell me you did it again
It infuriates all of us when

Steve Coate
10-20-2011, 05:47 AM
Don't tell me you did it again
It infuriates all of us when
You leave out the comma

annetpfeffer
10-20-2011, 06:55 AM
Don't tell me you did it again
It infuriates all of us when
You leave out the comma,
I'm calling your mamma

Nymtoc
10-20-2011, 08:10 AM
Don't tell me you did it again
It infuriates all of us when
You leave out the comma,
I'm calling your mamma
I bet that you'll be sorry then!

She lived on the forty-fifth floor

Pthom
10-20-2011, 10:32 AM
She lived on the forty-fifth floor
And her terrace had nary a door

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2011, 12:05 PM
She lived on the forty-fifth floor
And her terrace had nary a door
Alone and depressed

flyingtart
10-20-2011, 12:46 PM
She lived on the forty-fifth floor
And her terrace had nary a door
Alone and depressed
She took off her vest

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2011, 02:34 PM
She lived on the forty-fifth floor
And her terrace had nary a door
Alone and depressed
She took off her vest.
It was wool and her knockers were sore.



He sailed to the far off Antipodes

flyingtart
10-20-2011, 03:38 PM
He sailed to the far off Antipodes
Where ladies wear skirts past their knees

annetpfeffer
10-20-2011, 03:56 PM
He sailed to the far off Antipodes
Where ladies wear skirts past their knees
He swam in the ocean

iLion
10-20-2011, 08:37 PM
He sailed to the far off Antipodes
Where ladies wear skirts past their knees
He swam in the ocean
Forgot to use lotion

Nymtoc
10-20-2011, 09:22 PM
He sailed to the far off Antipodes
Where ladies wear skirts past their knees
He swam in the ocean
Forgot to use lotion
But managed to swim to Belize.

My dog has the world's longest ears

flyingtart
10-20-2011, 09:27 PM
My dog has the world's longest ears
Which means he is greeted with cheers

Pthom
10-20-2011, 10:39 PM
My dog has the world's longest ears
Which means he is greeted with cheers
And then there's his nose

GreenEpic
10-20-2011, 11:48 PM
My dog has the world's longest ears
Which means he is greeted with cheers
And then there's his nose
So short that he woes

MidlifeMark
10-21-2011, 05:46 AM
My dog has the world's longest ears
Which means he is greeted with cheers
And then there's his nose
So short that he woes
And treats all his sorrows with beers

The Jets and Rex Ryan are losers

annetpfeffer
10-21-2011, 05:53 AM
The Jets and Rex Ryan are losers
Let's hope not because they are boozers

Nymtoc
10-21-2011, 09:24 AM
The Jets and Rex Ryan are losers
Let's hope not because they are boozers
The Chargers are tough

annetpfeffer
10-21-2011, 09:56 AM
The Jets and Rex Ryan are losers
Let's hope not because they are boozers
The Chargers are tough
The Jets have it rough

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2011, 11:57 AM
The Jets and Rex Ryan are losers
Let's hope not because they are boozers
The Chargers are tough
The Jets have it rough
But beggars it seems can’t be choosers


When Bury play Wigan Athletic

flyingtart
10-21-2011, 12:44 PM
When Bury play Wigan Athletic
Their left field defence is pathetic

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2011, 02:19 PM
When Bury play Wigan Athletic
Their left field defence is pathetic
And the bloke up the front

flyingtart
10-21-2011, 03:24 PM
When Bury play Wigan Athletic
Their left field defence is pathetic
And the bloke up the front
Is a scrawny wee runt

annetpfeffer
10-21-2011, 04:00 PM
When Bury play Wigan Athletic
Their left field defence is pathetic
And the bloke up the front
Is a scrawny wee runt
who needs change a bit more than cosmetic


I don't have a cent to my name

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2011, 04:03 PM
I don't have a cent to my name
I might have to go on the game

Nymtoc
10-21-2011, 05:17 PM
I don't have a cent to my name
I might have to go on the game
Or sing on the street

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2011, 05:43 PM
I don't have a cent to my name
I might have to go on the game
Or sing on the street
with a dog at my feet

flyingtart
10-21-2011, 05:52 PM
I don't have a cent to my name
I might have to go on the game
Or sing on the street
with a dog at my feet
Who will look on my efforts with shame


His pit bull was fiercer than most

Lavern08
10-21-2011, 07:56 PM
His pit bull was fiercer than most
Folks said he looked just like a ghost

GreenEpic
10-21-2011, 08:26 PM
His pit bull was fiercer than most
Folks said he looked just like a ghost
With brilliant white hair

iLion
10-21-2011, 08:37 PM
His pit bull was fiercer than most
Folks said he looked just like a ghost
With brilliant white hair
And face that would scare

MidlifeMark
10-22-2011, 02:40 AM
His pit bull was fiercer than most
Folks said he looked just like a ghost
With brilliant white hair
And face that would scare
A fresh loaf of bread into toast.

A bashful young scholar from Eton

Nymtoc
10-22-2011, 02:54 AM
A bashful young scholar from Eton
When playing chess could not be beaten

annetpfeffer
10-22-2011, 04:00 AM
A bashful young scholar from Eton
When playing chess could not be beaten
"Check mate!" he announced

Nymtoc
10-22-2011, 04:10 AM
A bashful young scholar from Eton
When playing chess could not be beaten
"Check mate!" he announced,
But monitors pounced

annetpfeffer
10-22-2011, 04:19 AM
A bashful young scholar from Eton
When playing chess could not be beaten
"Check mate!" he announced,
But monitors pounced,
saying he was a sham and a cretin.


The two things that scare me the most

Steve Coate
10-22-2011, 06:32 AM
The two things that scare me the most
are spiders and the smell of burnt toast

Nymtoc
10-22-2011, 06:42 AM
The two things that scare me the most
Are worms* and the smell of burnt toast (*meter)
Chills run up my spine

Pthom
10-22-2011, 07:41 AM
The two things that scare me the most
Are worms and the smell of burnt toast
Chills run up my spine
Like spiders* on twine



(* to restore spiders to the verse :))

annetpfeffer
10-22-2011, 09:39 AM
The two things that scare me the most
Are worms and the smell of burnt toast
Chills run up my spine
Like spiders* on twine
When I serve them for snacks as a host.


There rose up a hullaballoo.

Nymtoc
10-22-2011, 09:48 AM
There rose up a hullaballoo
When Anne went to visit the zoo

Albedo of Zero
10-22-2011, 10:18 AM
There rose up a hullaballoo
When Anne went to visit the zoo
There was a new sign

flyingtart
10-22-2011, 01:36 PM
There rose up a hullaballoo
When Anne went to visit the zoo
There was a new sign
Saying "Monkeys are Fine"

MidlifeMark
10-22-2011, 04:01 PM
There rose up a hullaballoo
When Anne went to visit the zoo
There was a new sign
Saying "Monkeys are Fine"
They tap-dance and play the kazoo!

The trees are in full autumn splendor

flyingtart
10-22-2011, 04:39 PM
The trees are in full autumn splendor
Though leaves are not real legal tender

Nymtoc
10-22-2011, 08:05 PM
The trees are in full autumn splendor
Though leaves are not real legal tender
Some fall to the ground

MidlifeMark
10-22-2011, 11:16 PM
The trees are in full autumn splendor
Though leaves are not real legal tender
Some fall to the ground
And pile in a mound

flyingtart
10-22-2011, 11:56 PM
The trees are in full autumn splendor
Though leaves are not real legal tender
Some fall to the ground
And pile in a mound
Where lies some old tramp on a bender


Do not come near me with that thing

annetpfeffer
10-23-2011, 12:24 AM
Do not come near me with that thing
I'll jump like I sat on a spring

MidlifeMark
10-23-2011, 02:46 AM
Do not come near me with that thing
I'll jump like I sat on a spring
I'm not in the mood

annetpfeffer
10-23-2011, 11:58 AM
Do not come near me with that thing
I'll jump like I sat on a spring
I'm not in the mood
I'd rather just brood

MidlifeMark
10-23-2011, 05:46 PM
Do not come near me with that thing
I'll jump like I sat on a spring
I'm not in the mood
I'd rather just brood
But I'll sing, if you bring some bling.

The clouds have all gathered o'erhead

flyingtart
10-23-2011, 05:54 PM
The clouds have all gathered o'erhead
I'm thinking of going to bed

annetpfeffer
10-23-2011, 07:59 PM
The clouds have all gathered o'erhead
I'm thinking of going to bed
I'll roll in depression

MidlifeMark
10-24-2011, 07:04 AM
The clouds have all gathered o'erhead
I'm thinking of going to bed
I'll roll in depression
Devoid of expression

annetpfeffer
10-24-2011, 08:25 AM
The clouds have all gathered o'erhead.
I'm thinking of going to bed.
I'll roll in depression,
Devoid of expression.
My loved ones have wisely all fled.



I'm such a cantankerous dude

Nymtoc
10-24-2011, 08:28 AM
I'm such a cantankerous dude
And everyone tells me I'm rude

flyingtart
10-24-2011, 12:36 PM
I'm such a cantankerous dude
And everyone tells me I'm rude
The reason, you see

annetpfeffer
10-24-2011, 01:37 PM
I'm such a cantankerous dude
And everyone tells me I'm rude
The reason, you see
is that being me

flyingtart
10-24-2011, 02:24 PM
I'm such a cantankerous dude
And everyone tells me I'm rude
The reason, you see
is that being me
Sucks a dog's cock, to be crude


But really it could be much worse

annetpfeffer
10-24-2011, 04:00 PM
But really it could be much worse
I could spend my time writing verse

kellysaid
10-24-2011, 07:10 PM
But really it could be much worse
I could spend my time writing verse
and singing off key

iLion
10-24-2011, 08:09 PM
But really it could be much worse
I could spend my time writing verse
and singing off key
Till a quarter to three

Nymtoc
10-24-2011, 09:05 PM
But really it could be much worse
I could spend my time writing verse
and singing off key
Till a quarter to three
When I'd be led away by my nurse.

These lim'ricks are mad'ningly hard

flyingtart
10-24-2011, 09:50 PM
These lim'ricks are mad'ningly hard
Unless you're a poetic bard

annetpfeffer
10-24-2011, 10:41 PM
These lim'ricks are mad'ningly hard
Unless you're a poetic bard
The rhyme and the meter

kellysaid
10-25-2011, 01:35 AM
These lim'ricks are mad'ningly hard
Unless you're a poetic bard
The rhyme and meter
Can often deter

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 02:26 AM
These lim'ricks are mad'ningly hard
Unless you're a poetic bard
The rhyme and the meter
get harder and fleeter (corrected for rhyme)
I think I'll go sun in my yard.



I wanna be lazy today

Steve Coate
10-25-2011, 05:40 AM
I wanna be lazy today
Just let come what may

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 06:20 AM
I wanna be lazy today
Just let come what may
I'll lie in the shade

Nymtoc
10-25-2011, 07:56 AM
What's going on here? :Huh:

I wanna be lazy today
My motto is "let come what may."* (*meter)
I'll lie in the shade
And drink lemonade

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 09:22 AM
I wanna be lazy today
My motto is "let come what may."
I'll lie in the shade
And drink lemonade
and swat all the fruitflies away.


The proof of the pudding's the eating

flyingtart
10-25-2011, 12:00 PM
The proof of the pudding's the eating
But rhubarb is always repeating

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 02:25 PM
The proof of the pudding's the eating
But rhubarb is always repeating
and speaking of gas

Matera the Mad
10-25-2011, 05:15 PM
The proof of the pudding's the eating
But rhubarb is always repeating
and speaking of gas
this wisdom I'll pass

flyingtart
10-25-2011, 06:16 PM
The proof of the pudding's the eating
But rhubarb is always repeating
and speaking of gas
this wisdom I'll pass
The chef should be given a beating


Fan letters are really too sad

Nymtoc
10-25-2011, 07:00 PM
Fan letters are really too sad
"Pure crap" is the best that I've had

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 07:09 PM
Fan letters are really too sad
"Pure crap" is the best that I've had
The fans want to stone me

iLion
10-25-2011, 08:12 PM
Fan letters are really too sad
"Pure crap" is the best that I've had
The fans want to stone me
And flog me and bone me

Nymtoc
10-25-2011, 08:33 PM
Fan letters are really too sad
"Pure crap" is the best that I've had
The fans want to stone me
And flog me and bone me
Is my riting rilly that bad?

I failed every class that I took

iLion
10-25-2011, 08:42 PM
I failed every class that I took
So now I work hard as a crook

annetpfeffer
10-25-2011, 08:56 PM
I failed every class that I took
So now I work hard as a crook
You can't ever trust me

Pthom
10-25-2011, 10:19 PM
I failed every class that I took
So now I work hard as a crook
You can't ever trust me
Might as well bust me

GreenEpic
10-25-2011, 11:07 PM
I failed every class that I took
So now I work hard as a crook
You can't ever trust me
Might as well bust me
Because I'm as bad as I look


My teeth are all crooked and black

annetpfeffer
10-26-2011, 02:53 AM
My teeth are all crooked and black
My dentist, I fear, is a hack

Steve Coate
10-26-2011, 04:05 AM
My teeth are all crooked and black
My dentist, I fear, is a hack
My gums are sore and bleeding

Nymtoc
10-26-2011, 04:08 AM
My teeth are all crooked and black
My dentist, I fear, is a hack
My gums are still bleeding* (*meter)
And soon I'll be needing

annetpfeffer
10-26-2011, 05:16 AM
My teeth are all crooked and black
My dentist, I fear, is a hack
My gums are still bleeding* (*meter)
And soon I'll be needing
a new set of teeth, free of plaque.



I'm such an intelligent gal

Nymtoc
10-26-2011, 09:44 AM
I'm such an intelligent gal
They say I'm as smart as Pascal

flyingtart
10-26-2011, 01:00 PM
I'm such an intelligent gal
They say I'm as smart as Pascal
I know lots of facts

annetpfeffer
10-26-2011, 03:56 PM
I'm such an intelligent gal
They say I'm as smart as Pascal
I know lots of facts
but smartness detracts

GreenEpic
10-26-2011, 08:37 PM
I'm such an intelligent gal
They say I'm as smart as Pascal
I know lots of facts
but smartness detracts
From the fact my real name is Sal.


I know a guy with a stutter

annetpfeffer
10-26-2011, 08:44 PM
I know a young guy with a stutter ** meter
There's barely a word he can utter

iLion
10-26-2011, 09:20 PM
I know a young guy with a stutter
There's barely a word he can utter
I love him no less

annetpfeffer
10-26-2011, 10:17 PM
I know a young guy with a stutter
There's barely a word he can utter
I love him no less
and you never would guess

flyingtart
10-26-2011, 10:24 PM
I know a young guy with a stutter
There's barely a word he can utter
I love him no less
and you never would guess
He is a fastidious rutter


Matilda, the Duchess of Kent

Nymtoc
10-26-2011, 10:29 PM
Matilda, the Duchess of Kent,
Attended a shocking event

Pthom
10-26-2011, 11:49 PM
Matilda, the Duchess of Kent,
Attended a shocking event.
Everyone there

flyingtart
10-27-2011, 12:10 AM
Matilda, the Duchess of Kent,
Attended a shocking event.
Everyone there
Was totally bare

Pthom
10-27-2011, 03:17 AM
Matilda, the Duchess of Kent,
Attended a shocking event.
Everyone there
Was totally bare
And were glad for the thick canvass tent.

Hey you, do you know where she went?

annetpfeffer
10-27-2011, 04:37 AM
Hey you, do you know where she went?
She failed to get Daddy's consent.

annetpfeffer
10-27-2011, 05:35 AM
Oops, Mark, you went back in time...

Hey you, do you know where she went?
She failed to get Daddy's consent
She eloped with a plumber

Nymtoc
10-27-2011, 08:39 AM
Hey you, do you know where she went?
She failed to get Daddy's consent
She eloped with a plumber
Called Joe--what a bummer!

flyingtart
10-27-2011, 10:49 AM
Hey you, do you know where she went?
She failed to get Daddy's consent
She eloped with a plumber
Called Joe--what a bummer!
Then found that his pipes were all bent.


Poor Joe was then left in the lurch

Nymtoc
10-27-2011, 04:17 PM
Poor Joe was then left in the lurch
He waited in vain at the church

annetpfeffer
10-27-2011, 05:13 PM
Poor Joe was then left in the lurch
He waited in vain at the church
He wept at the altar

iLion
10-27-2011, 10:16 PM
Poor Joe was then left in the lurch
He waited in vain at the church
He wept at the altar
Then planned to assault her

Pthom
10-27-2011, 11:14 PM
Poor Joe was then left in the lurch
He waited in vain at the church
He wept at the altar
Then planned to assault her
With buckets of old rotting perch.

The fisherman died in his dory

flyingtart
10-27-2011, 11:46 PM
The fisherman died in his dory
The end of a miserable story

annetpfeffer
10-28-2011, 12:42 AM
The fisherman died in his dory
The end of a miserable story
What happened, they say,

iLion
10-28-2011, 01:13 AM
The fisherman died in his dory
The end of a miserable story
What happened, they say,
With a mermaid that day

Nymtoc
10-28-2011, 02:55 AM
The fisherman died in his dory
The end of a miserable story
What happened, they say,
With a mermaid that day
Shocked Labour and Lib Dem and Tory.

They buried the fellow at sea

kellysaid
10-28-2011, 04:49 AM
They buried the fellow at sea
and laughed when he screamed, "No, matey!"

flyingtart
10-28-2011, 12:46 PM
They buried the fellow at sea
and laughed when he screamed, "No, matey!"
The minister said

annetpfeffer
10-28-2011, 07:53 PM
They buried the fellow at sea
and laughed when he screamed, "No, matey!"
The minister said
while scratching his head

Lavern08
10-28-2011, 08:03 PM
They buried the fellow at sea
and laughed when he screamed, "No, matey!"
The minister said
while scratching his head
"That mermaid was hot, wasn't she?"

I'm not gonna say "Trick or Treat"

Nymtoc
10-28-2011, 08:09 PM
I'm not gonna say "Trick or Treat"
Such childishness is indiscreet

iLion
10-28-2011, 08:11 PM
I'm not gonna say "Trick or Treat"
Such childishness is indiscreet
But I'll wear a mask

Lavern08
10-28-2011, 08:18 PM
I'm not gonna say "Trick or Treat"
Such childishness is indiscreet
But I'll wear a mask
And drink from my flask

iLion
10-28-2011, 08:28 PM
I'm not gonna say "Trick or Treat"
Such childishness is indiscreet
But I'll wear a mask
And drink from my flask
And scare all the people I meet.

I'm "dressed" as a porn star tonight

kellysaid
10-28-2011, 09:15 PM
I'm "dressed" as a porn star tonight
while frying bacon (which ain't bright)

iLion
10-29-2011, 12:17 AM
I'm "dressed" as a porn star tonight
while frying bacon (which ain't bright)
My guests may all scream

MidlifeMark
10-29-2011, 01:23 AM
I'm "dressed" as a porn star tonight
while frying bacon (which ain't bright)
My guests may all scream
It's like a bad dream

annetpfeffer
10-29-2011, 01:38 AM
I'm "dressed" as a porn star tonight
while frying the bacon (not bright) ** meter
My guests may all scream
It's like a bad dream
But, to me, I'm a glamorous sight.


Remember, when you are in love,

Nymtoc
10-29-2011, 02:40 AM
Remember, when you are in love,
There's just one thing you're thinking of

annetpfeffer
10-29-2011, 03:27 PM
Remember, when you are in love,
There's one thing that you're thinking of ** meter
It's not just the sex

flyingtart
10-29-2011, 03:46 PM
Remember, when you are in love,
There's one thing that you're thinking of
It's not just the sex
Or lovey-dove pecks

annetpfeffer
10-29-2011, 06:12 PM
Remember, when you are in love,
There's one thing that you're thinking of
It's not just the sex
Or lovey-dove pecks
It's remembering to put on the glove.



He lost his umbrella again

MidlifeMark
10-29-2011, 06:25 PM
He lost his umbrella again
And somewhere he's misplaced his pen

flyingtart
10-29-2011, 06:54 PM
He lost his umbrella again
And somewhere he's misplaced his pen
He'd forget his head

Lavern08
10-29-2011, 07:00 PM
He lost his umbrella again
And somewhere he's misplaced his pen
He'd forget his head
His Mum often said

MidlifeMark
10-29-2011, 09:02 PM
He lost his umbrella again
And somewhere he's misplaced his pen
He'd forget his head
His Mum often said
And where would the poor man be then?

A pregnant young couple from Maine

flyingtart
10-29-2011, 09:38 PM
A pregnant young couple from Maine
Found an outhouse to shelter from rain

Lavern08
10-29-2011, 10:57 PM
A pregnant young couple from Maine
Found an outhouse to shelter from rain
The baby came early

Steve Coate
10-29-2011, 11:06 PM
A pregnant young couple from Maine
Found an outhouse to shelter from rain
The baby came early
They named him Curly

annetpfeffer
10-30-2011, 12:39 AM
A pregnant young couple from Maine
Found an outhouse to shelter from rain
The baby came early
They named him Curly
He grew up outstandingly plain.


An angel came down from the sky

Nymtoc
10-30-2011, 03:04 AM
An angel came down from the sky
It blessed all the pigs in my sty

annetpfeffer
10-30-2011, 03:33 AM
An angel came down from the sky
It blessed all the pigs in my sty
The pigs were in bliss

Steve Coate
10-30-2011, 08:52 AM
An angel came down from the sky
It blessed all the pigs in my sty
The pigs were in bliss
Not a thing was amiss

annetpfeffer
10-30-2011, 09:13 AM
An angel came down from the sky
It blessed all the pigs in my sty
The pigs were in bliss
Not a thing was amiss--
The pigs became sausages -- why?


I haven't got time for you now

flyingtart
10-30-2011, 02:16 PM
I haven't got time for you now
I'm just far to busy, and how

annetpfeffer
10-30-2011, 08:00 PM
I haven't got time for you now
I'm just far to busy, and how
I'm checking my list

flyingtart
10-30-2011, 08:03 PM
I haven't got time for you now
I'm just far too busy, and how
I'm checking my list
And getting quite pissed

MidlifeMark
10-30-2011, 08:41 PM
I haven't got time for you now
I'm just far too busy, and how
I'm checking my list
And getting quite pissed
And soon I'll get nasty, I vow.

The Pats play the Steelers in Pittsburgh

annetpfeffer
10-30-2011, 10:49 PM
The Pats play the Steelers in Pittsburgh
They'll surely get in a few hits- burgh (Yeah, well, you do better!)

MidlifeMark
10-30-2011, 10:57 PM
The Pats play the Steelers in Pittsburgh
They'll surely get in a few hits- burgh
Tom Brady will rule

Nymtoc
10-30-2011, 11:12 PM
The Pats play the Steelers in Pittsburgh
They'll surely get in a few hits- burgh
Tom Brady will rule
Big Ben is a fool

MidlifeMark
10-30-2011, 11:41 PM
The Pats play the Steelers in Pittsburgh
They'll surely get in a few hits- burgh
Tom Brady will rule
Big Ben is a fool
And the cheerleaders, they'll shake their tits- burgh.

There's a foot of new snow on the ground

flyingtart
10-31-2011, 12:42 AM
There's a foot of new snow on the ground
So it's quite hard to breakdance I've found

annetpfeffer
10-31-2011, 01:16 AM
There's a foot of new snow on the ground
So it's quite hard to breakdance I've found
I'll slide down the hill

flyingtart
10-31-2011, 03:19 PM
There's a foot of new snow on the ground
So it's quite hard to breakdance I've found
I'll slide down the hill
And won't stop until

annetpfeffer
10-31-2011, 05:11 PM
There's a foot of new snow on the ground
So it's quite hard to breakdance I've found
I'll slide down the hill
And won't stop until
My new contact lenses are found.


It's been so annoying today

Sir_Nigel
10-31-2011, 05:20 PM
It's been so annoying today
So I shot it, I’m sorry, OK?

flyingtart
10-31-2011, 05:49 PM
It's been so annoying today
So I shot it, I’m sorry, OK?
Please don't make a fuss

iLion
10-31-2011, 08:18 PM
It's been so annoying today
So I shot it, I’m sorry, OK?
Please don't make a fuss
Over parrots that cuss

annetpfeffer
10-31-2011, 08:32 PM
It's been so annoying today
So I shot it, I’m sorry, OK?
Please don't make a fuss
Over parrots that cuss
It smelled like a corpse anyway.


Now I've gotta get rid of the thing

iLion
10-31-2011, 08:37 PM
Now I've gotta get rid of the thing
Before the canary can sing

Nymtoc
10-31-2011, 08:45 PM
Now I've gotta get rid of the thing
Before the canary can sing
That damned yellow bird

Pthom
11-01-2011, 03:10 AM
Now I've gotta get rid of the thing
Before the canary can sing
That damned yellow bird
Learned to tweet! How absurd!

annetpfeffer
11-01-2011, 03:32 AM
Now I've gotta get rid of the thing
Before the canary can sing
That damned yellow bird
Learned to tweet! How absurd!
And soon he'll give PETA a ring!


A limo arrived at my door

Steve Coate
11-01-2011, 04:41 AM
A limo arrived at my door
My jaw nearly hit the floor

annetpfeffer
11-01-2011, 07:17 AM
A limo arrived at my door
My jaw nearly hit the floor
I hadn't expected

Nymtoc
11-01-2011, 08:11 AM
A limo arrived at my door
My jaw nearly fell through* the floor (*meter)
I hadn't expected
To be reelected

annetpfeffer
11-01-2011, 09:12 AM
A limo arrived at my door
My jaw nearly fell through* the floor (*meter)
I hadn't expected
To be reelected
So now I'm supposed to do more?


I'll clean up the crime in the city.

Matera the Mad
11-01-2011, 11:23 AM
I'll clean up the crime in the city.
I'll be fair-handed, good-tempered, and witty

annetpfeffer
11-01-2011, 12:34 PM
I'll clean up the crime in the city.
I'll be fair-handed, good-tempered, and witty
I'll pave all the roads

flyingtart
11-01-2011, 01:38 PM
I'll clean up the crime in the city.
I'll be *fair and good-tempered and witty (*fits better)
I'll pave all the roads
For heavier loads

Sir_Nigel
11-01-2011, 03:28 PM
I'll clean up the crime in the city.
I'll be fair and good-tempered and witty
I'll pave all the roads
For heavier loads
Or maybe I won’t – what a pity.

There was a young fellow named Herbert

flyingtart
11-01-2011, 04:51 PM
There was a young fellow named Herbert
Who was constantly gobbling sherbet