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annetpfeffer
09-23-2011, 03:34 AM
The eye test proved Justin deluded.
He was legally blind, it concluded,
And yet he could see
To stand tall and pee
(Unaware that his manhood protruded).


But then he perceived a cool breeze

MidlifeMark
09-23-2011, 05:51 AM
But then he perceived a cool breeze
(His pants were still down 'round his knees)

annetpfeffer
09-23-2011, 06:18 AM
But then he perceived a cool breeze
(His pants were still down 'round his knees).
He gave it a shake

Nymtoc
09-23-2011, 10:42 AM
But then he perceived a cool breeze
(His pants were still down 'round his knees).
He gave it a shake
And felt something break

Sir_Nigel
09-23-2011, 11:46 AM
But then he perceived a cool breeze
(His pants were still down 'round his knees).
He gave it a shake
And felt something break
The lesson is - Don’t let it freeze.


As jolly King Henry once said

annetpfeffer
09-23-2011, 12:13 PM
As jolly King Henry once said,
"I'm sick of her! Off with her head!"

Sir_Nigel
09-23-2011, 01:29 PM
As jolly King Henry once said,
"I'm sick of her! Off with her head!"
As they led her away

flyingtart
09-23-2011, 02:31 PM
As jolly King Henry once said,
"I'm sick of her! Off with her head!"
As they led her away
She was heard to say

Sir_Nigel
09-23-2011, 04:25 PM
As jolly King Henry once said,
"I'm sick of her! Off with her head!"
As they led her away
She was heard to say
‘You may be king, you may oversee the separation of the Church of England from papal authority, the Dissolution of the Monasteries and establish yourself as the Supreme Head of the Church of England but you’re rubbish in bed.’



She was not very pleased to be spurned

flyingtart
09-23-2011, 05:11 PM
As jolly King Henry once said,
"I'm sick of her! Off with her head!"
As they led her away
She was heard to say
‘You may be king, you may oversee the separation of the Church of England from papal authority, the Dissolution of the Monasteries and establish yourself as the Supreme Head of the Church of England but you’re rubbish in bed.’



She was not very pleased to be spurned

(I can see why he had her executed.)

She was not very pleased to be spurned
And sought to steal all that he'd earned

annetpfeffer
09-23-2011, 05:41 PM
She was not very pleased to be spurned
And sought to steal all that he'd earned.
But lacking a head,

Matera the Mad
09-23-2011, 07:20 PM
She was not very pleased to be spurned
And sought to steal all that he'd earned.
But lacking a head,
(And being quite dead)

Lavern08
09-23-2011, 07:54 PM
She was not very pleased to be spurned
And sought to steal all that he'd earned.
But lacking a head,
(And being quite dead)
Was cast into hell where she burned.

It's Friday and I have to say

iLion
09-23-2011, 08:06 PM
It's Friday and I have to say
My landlord wants payment today

annetpfeffer
09-23-2011, 09:20 PM
It's Friday and I have to say
My landlord wants payment today
But I'm short on cash

MidlifeMark
09-23-2011, 11:51 PM
It's Friday and I have to say
My landlord wants payment today
But I'm short on cash
So I've got to dash

Nymtoc
09-23-2011, 11:53 PM
It's Friday and I have to say
My landlord wants payment today
But I'm short on cash
So I've got to dash
Eviction's just minutes away!

If I have to live on the street

MidlifeMark
09-23-2011, 11:59 PM
If I have to live on the street
I'll need a good place to excrete.

Nymtoc
09-24-2011, 01:42 AM
If I have to live on the street
I'll need a good place to excrete.
A bucket seems crude

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 02:13 AM
If I have to live on the street
I'll need a good place to excrete.
A bucket seems crude,
But why be a prude?

Lavern08
09-24-2011, 02:32 AM
If I have to live on the street
I'll need a good place to excrete.
A bucket seems crude,
But why be a prude?
I'll certainly be real discreet

But what shall I do with the bucket?

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 02:37 AM
But what shall I do with the bucket?
I'd throw it if people would duck it.

Nymtoc
09-24-2011, 03:02 AM
But what shall I do with the bucket?
I'd throw it if people would duck it.
Of course, if a cop

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 04:14 AM
But what shall I do with the bucket?
I'd throw it if people would duck it.
Of course, if a cop
Should come by here and stop
_________________
_

MidlifeMark
09-24-2011, 05:39 AM
But what shall I do with the bucket?
I'd throw it if people would duck it.
Of course, if a cop
Should come by here and stop
I'd fire up my pickup and truck it.

Disposing of fresh fecal matter

Nymtoc
09-24-2011, 06:15 AM
Disposing of fresh fecal matter
Has no place in dining-room chatter

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 07:00 AM
Disposing of fresh fecal matter
Has no place in dining-room chatter.
It's most impolite

MidlifeMark
09-24-2011, 08:18 PM
Disposing of fresh fecal matter
Has no place in dining-room chatter.
It's most impolite
And could cause a fright

Nymtoc
09-24-2011, 08:22 PM
Disposing of fresh fecal matter
Has no place in dining-room chatter.
It's most impolite
And could cause a fright
And upchucking into a platter.

The night of her wedding, young Sue

MidlifeMark
09-24-2011, 08:28 PM
The night of her wedding, young Sue
Confused K-Y jelly with glue.

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 08:32 PM
The night of her wedding, young Sue
Confused K-Y jelly with glue.
Her new husband Nate

flyingtart
09-24-2011, 08:41 PM
The night of her wedding, young Sue
Confused K-Y jelly with glue.
Her new husband Nate
Did not think it great

MidlifeMark
09-24-2011, 08:55 PM
The night of her wedding, young Sue
Confused K-Y jelly with glue.
Her new husband Nate
Did not think it great
But all the spectators sure do.

The nefarious Baron of Claverham

annetpfeffer
09-24-2011, 11:01 PM
The nefarious Baron of Claverham
told the countess to "use what God gave her, m'am."

annetpfeffer
09-25-2011, 08:40 AM
Hmmm... since no one's biting, I'll go again.

The nefarious Baron of Claverham
told the countess to "use what God gave her, m'am."
She pulled out a breast

flyingtart
09-25-2011, 12:06 PM
The nefarious Baron of Claverham
told the countess to "use what God gave her, m'am."
She pulled out a breast
With uncommon zest

MidlifeMark
09-25-2011, 04:21 PM
The nefarious Baron of Claverham
told the countess to "use what God gave her, m'am."
She pulled out a breast
With uncommon zest
And posed at the top of the Hoover Dam.

The Patriots take on the Bills

flyingtart
09-25-2011, 10:22 PM
The Patriots take on the Bills
There's bound to be plenty of thrills

Albedo of Zero
09-25-2011, 11:43 PM
The Patriots take on the Bills
There's bound to be plenty of thrills
If Brady gets sacked

MidlifeMark
09-25-2011, 11:50 PM
The Patriots take on the Bills
There's bound to be plenty of thrills
If Brady gets sacked
Or hurried, or whacked

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 01:32 AM
The Patriots take on the Bills
There's bound to be plenty of thrills
If Brady gets sacked
Or hurried, or whacked
What happened, we'll think, to his skills?


Now... football -- will someone explain

MidlifeMark
09-26-2011, 01:41 AM
Now... football -- will someone explain
How come, when they play it in Spain

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 01:44 AM
Now... football -- will someone explain
How come, when they play it in Spain,
the ball's nice and round

MidlifeMark
09-26-2011, 02:16 AM
Now... football -- will someone explain
How come, when they play it in Spain,
the ball's nice and round
and rolls on the ground

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 03:15 AM
Now... football -- will someone explain
How come, when they play it in Spain,
the ball's nice and round
and rolls on the ground.
While here it can't touch the terrain!


The quarterback's palming the ball

Nymtoc
09-26-2011, 04:29 AM
The quarterback's palming the ball
A quarterback sneak is the call

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 05:58 AM
The quarterback's palming the ball
A quarterback sneak is the call.
He gains just a yard

Nymtoc
09-26-2011, 06:19 AM
The quarterback's palming the ball
A quarterback sneak is the call.
He gains just a yard
The tackling was hard

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 06:27 AM
The quarterback's palming the ball
A quarterback sneak is the call.
He gains just a yard
The tackling was hard.
The poor guy's reduced to a crawl.


But they got a first down on the play

flyingtart
09-26-2011, 01:51 PM
But they got a first down on the play
And then scored in the usual way

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 03:05 PM
But they got a first down on the play
And then scored in the usual way
Though his pain was intense

Sir_Nigel
09-26-2011, 03:47 PM
But they got a first down on the play
And then scored in the usual way
Though his pain was intense
His head was quite dense

Nymtoc
09-26-2011, 09:58 PM
But they got a first down on the play
And then scored in the usual way
Though his pain was intense
His head was quite dense
And he's totally gaga today.

However, his team won the game

annetpfeffer
09-26-2011, 10:52 PM
However, his team won the game,
went on to earn riches and fame

annetpfeffer
09-27-2011, 08:43 AM
Where is everyone?

However, his team won the game,
went on to earn riches and fame.
But quarterback Joe

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2011, 11:58 AM
However, his team won the game,
went on to earn riches and fame.
But quarterback Joe
joined a ladyboy show

flyingtart
09-27-2011, 12:11 PM
However, his team won the game,
went on to earn riches and fame.
But quarterback Joe
joined a ladyboy show
Which the rest of the team thought a shame


McCrackin was up with the lark

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2011, 03:13 PM
McCrackin was up with the lark
to go shouting at ducks in the park

flyingtart
09-27-2011, 04:00 PM
McCrackin was up with the lark
to go shouting at ducks in the park
But the ducks had flown south

Nymtoc
09-27-2011, 05:15 PM
McCrackin was up with the lark
to go shouting at ducks in the park
But the ducks had flown south
Mac was down in the mouth

annetpfeffer
09-27-2011, 06:01 PM
McCrackin was up with the lark
to go shouting at ducks in the park
But the ducks had flown south
Mac was down in the mouth.
No more shouting -- he'd lost all his spark.

I ate a persimmon today

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2011, 06:30 PM
I ate a persimmon today
whilst wafted by fronds in Bombay

Lavern08
09-27-2011, 06:46 PM
I ate a persimmon today
whilst wafted by fronds in Bombay
The angels were singing

annetpfeffer
09-27-2011, 06:51 PM
I ate a persimmon today
whilst wafted by fronds in Bombay
The angels were singing,
My mouth was still stinging

flyingtart
09-27-2011, 08:13 PM
I ate a persimmon today
whilst wafted by fronds in Bombay
The angels were singing,
My mouth was still stinging
And swelled in a troublesome way


Don't ever put chillies on toast

annetpfeffer
09-27-2011, 09:06 PM
Don't ever put chillies on toast.
Your tongue will inflame and then roast

iLion
09-27-2011, 09:08 PM
Don't ever put chillies on toast.
Your tongue will inflame and then roast
Your eyes will bug out

flyingtart
09-27-2011, 09:38 PM
Don't ever put chillies on toast.
Your tongue will inflame and then roast
Your eyes will bug out
You'll scream and you'll shout

iLion
09-27-2011, 09:43 PM
Don't ever put chillies on toast.
Your tongue will inflame and then roast;
Your eyes will bug out,
You'll scream and you'll shout,
And you'll wish you could give up the ghost.

At three in the morning I woke

Nymtoc
09-27-2011, 09:46 PM
At three in the morning I woke
My dreams had been weirdly baroque

iLion
09-27-2011, 09:50 PM
At three in the morning I woke
My dreams had been weirdly baroque
I'd spilled all my snuff

Lavern08
09-27-2011, 10:27 PM
At three in the morning I woke
My dreams had been weirdly baroque
I'd spilled all my snuff
But oddly enough

annetpfeffer
09-27-2011, 11:16 PM
At three in the morning I woke
My dreams had been weirdly baroque
I'd spilled all my snuff
But oddly enough
I'm a gal now, instead of a bloke!


I've got different parts than before

Lavern08
09-27-2011, 11:25 PM
I've got different parts than before
And shaving my legs are a chore

flyingtart
09-27-2011, 11:37 PM
I've got different parts than before
And shaving my legs are a chore
But the freakiest bits

annetpfeffer
09-28-2011, 02:18 AM
I've got different parts than before
And shaving my legs are a chore
But the freakiest bits
Are those Double D t**ts


(Thanks for setting that one up for me, flyingtart!)

Nymtoc
09-28-2011, 03:31 AM
I've got different parts than before
And shaving my legs are a chore
But the freakiest bits
Are those Double D t**ts
So I'll try not to dress like a whore.

My cousin Bernard knows a trick

MidlifeMark
09-28-2011, 06:12 AM
My cousin Bernard knows a trick
He does with a lit candle wick

Sir_Nigel
09-28-2011, 02:24 PM
My cousin Bernard knows a trick
He does with a lit candle wick,
two doves and a rabbit

annetpfeffer
09-28-2011, 02:49 PM
My cousin Bernard knows a trick
He does with a lit candle wick,
two doves and a rabbit.
He's taken the habit

flyingtart
09-28-2011, 07:29 PM
My cousin Bernard knows a trick
He does with a lit candle wick,
two doves and a rabbit.
He's taken the habit
Shame that he's really quite thick


A gunslinging loser named Jedd

iLion
09-28-2011, 08:08 PM
A gunslinging loser named Jedd
Sleeps nude but wears guns when in bed

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 03:45 AM
A gunslinging loser named Jedd
Sleeps nude but wears guns when in bed.
He's careful to hide

MidlifeMark
09-29-2011, 05:20 AM
A gunslinging loser named Jedd
Sleeps nude but wears guns when in bed.
He's careful to hide
A spare cartridge inside

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 08:59 AM
A gunslinging loser named Jedd
Sleeps nude but wears guns when in bed.
He's careful to hide
A spare cartridge inside
And the thing almost blows off his head.


A dancer from France named Marie

Sir_Nigel
09-29-2011, 11:19 AM
A dancer from France named Marie
when asked if she would said: Oui Oui !

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 02:09 PM
A dancer from France named Marie
when asked if she would said: Oui Oui !
She twirled and she kicked

flyingtart
09-29-2011, 03:57 PM
A dancer from France named Marie
when asked if she would said: Oui Oui !
She twirled and she kicked
Till sadly she sicked

Sir_Nigel
09-29-2011, 04:06 PM
A dancer from France named Marie
when asked if she would said: Oui Oui !
She twirled and she kicked
Till sadly she sicked
up her lunch of escargot and brie.



Trembling he knocked on the door

flyingtart
09-29-2011, 05:50 PM
Trembling he knocked on the door
Which was opened by Tilly, a whore

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 06:08 PM
Trembling he knocked on the door
Which was opened by Tilly, a whore.
She threw off her knickers

Sir_Nigel
09-29-2011, 06:27 PM
Trembling he knocked on the door
Which was opened by Tilly, a whore.
She threw off her knickers
for she loved potent liquors

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 06:58 PM
Trembling he knocked on the door
Which was opened by Tilly, a whore.
She threw off her knickers
for she loved potent liquors,
a wildwoman, down to the core.


I visited London today

Lavern08
09-29-2011, 06:59 PM
I visited London today
And while it was nice, I must say

annetpfeffer
09-29-2011, 07:37 PM
I visited London today
And while it was nice, I must say,
I prefer Budapest

iLion
09-29-2011, 08:59 PM
I visited London today
And while it was nice, I must say,
I prefer Budapest
They're not as repressed

flyingtart
09-29-2011, 11:32 PM
I visited London today
And while it was nice, I must say,
I prefer Budapest
They're not as repressed
And the wine bars are open all day


Penelope lives down my street

Nymtoc
09-29-2011, 11:36 PM
Penelope lives down my street
She gives all the fellows a treat

Lavern08
09-30-2011, 12:36 AM
Penelope lives down my street
She gives all the fellows a treat
< ---- Miss Penny has skills

annetpfeffer
09-30-2011, 01:57 AM
Penelope lives down my street
She gives all the fellows a treat
< ---- Miss Penny has skills
Of the type to give thrills

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 04:23 AM
Penelope lives down my street
She gives all the fellows a treat
< ---- Miss Penny has skills
Of the type to give thrills
Besides that, she's really quite sweet.

I remember my teacher, Miss Mooney,

Nymtoc
09-30-2011, 07:28 AM
I remember my teacher, Miss Mooney,
She always thought I was quite loony

Matera the Mad
09-30-2011, 07:42 AM
I remember my teacher, Miss Mooney,
She always thought I was quite loony
I had fun in class

Sir_Nigel
09-30-2011, 11:50 AM
I remember my teacher, Miss Mooney,
She always thought I was quite loony
I had fun in class
appraising her ass

Nymtoc
09-30-2011, 01:33 PM
I remember my teacher, Miss Mooney,
She always thought I was quite loony
I had fun in class
appraising her ass
Which could certainly not be called puny.

My writing, she said, was appalling

flyingtart
09-30-2011, 01:48 PM
My writing, she said, was appalling
No wonder my grades kept on falling

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 02:42 PM
My writing, she said, was appalling
No wonder my grades kept on falling
My participles dangled

Sir_Nigel
09-30-2011, 02:45 PM
My writing, she said, was appalling
No wonder my grades kept on falling
My participles dangled
my potential was strangled

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 02:49 PM
My writing, she said, was appalling
No wonder my grades kept on falling
My participles dangled
my potential was strangled
The pen, it seemed, was not my calling.

Alfredo, a bum from the Bowery,

annetpfeffer
09-30-2011, 03:03 PM
Alfredo, a bum from the Bowery,
wrote poems both silly and flowery

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 03:19 PM
Alfredo, a bum from the Bowery,
wrote poems both silly and flowery
He'd guzzle some wine

flyingtart
09-30-2011, 03:27 PM
Alfredo, a bum from the Bowery,
wrote poems both silly and flowery
He'd guzzle some wine
Then scribble a line

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 08:03 PM
Alfredo, a bum from the Bowery,
wrote poems both silly and flowery
He'd guzzle some wine
Then scribble a line,
Then vomit, all chunky and soury.

A lip-reading scoundrel named Tom

annetpfeffer
09-30-2011, 08:42 PM
A lip-reading scoundrel named Tom
Had unresolved issues with Mom.

iLion
09-30-2011, 08:53 PM
A lip-reading scoundrel named Tom
Had unresolved issues with Mom.
He wanted to date her

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 09:17 PM
A lip-reading scoundrel named Tom
Had unresolved issues with Mom.
He wanted to date her
And so, killed his Pater

annetpfeffer
09-30-2011, 09:24 PM
A lip-reading scoundrel named Tom
Had unresolved issues with Mom.
He wanted to date her
And so, killed his Pater,
Then brought Mother Dear to the prom.


He was wearing a powder blue tux

iLion
09-30-2011, 09:40 PM
He was wearing a powder blue tux
And tight shorts and knee socks just for yucks

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 10:17 PM
He was wearing a powder blue tux
And tight shorts and knee socks just for yucks
But what I found absurd

flyingtart
09-30-2011, 10:35 PM
He was wearing a powder blue tux
And tight shorts and knee socks just for yucks
But what I found absurd
Was he's spread lemon curd

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 10:38 PM
He was wearing a powder blue tux
And tight shorts and knee socks just for yucks
But what I found absurd
Was he's spread lemon curd
On the brim of his top hat. That sucks!

Oh, if I could be king for a day,

annetpfeffer
09-30-2011, 10:56 PM
Oh, if I could be king for a day,
I would gather the people and say

MidlifeMark
09-30-2011, 10:57 PM
Oh, if I could be king for a day,
I would gather the people and say
"I hereby decree

Pthom
09-30-2011, 11:49 PM
Oh, if I could be king for a day,
I would gather the people and say
"I hereby decree
There will be no fee

annetpfeffer
10-01-2011, 12:04 AM
Oh, if I could be king for a day,
I would gather the people and say
"I hereby decree
There will not be a fee.
(I just stole all your land, anyway.)"



In matters of marriage and love,

Nymtoc
10-01-2011, 08:44 AM
In matters of marriage and love,
Sometimes you must give things a shove

annetpfeffer
10-01-2011, 07:53 PM
In matters of marriage and love,
Sometimes you must give things a shove.
A lace bustier

flyingtart
10-01-2011, 08:26 PM
In matters of marriage and love,
Sometimes you must give things a shove.
A lace bustier
Can make him lustier

annetpfeffer
10-02-2011, 04:52 AM
In matters of marriage and love,
Sometimes you must give things a shove.
A lace bustier
Can make him lustier
But he still better put on a glove.


I'm always genteel and refined

iLion
10-02-2011, 04:56 AM
In matters of marriage and love,
Sometimes you must give things a shove.
A lace bustier
Can make him lustier
And forget to shove on a glove.

I wonder if this night's the night

Nymtoc
10-02-2011, 05:00 AM
2 for 1, folks!


I'm always genteel and refined,
Agreeable, tender and kind


I wonder if this night's the night
When finally things will go right

annetpfeffer
10-02-2011, 05:19 AM
Double jeopardy -- kewl!


I'm always genteel and refined,
Agreeable, tender and kind
But, one little thing...




I wonder if this night's the night
When finally things will go right
I wore my best heels

MidlifeMark
10-02-2011, 07:22 AM
I'm always genteel and refined,
Agreeable, tender and kind
But, one little thing...
I sure like to sing




I wonder if this night's the night
When finally things will go right
I wore my best heels
(Made from baby seals)

Matera the Mad
10-02-2011, 09:20 AM
I'm always genteel and refined,
Agreeable, tender and kind
But, one little thing...
I sure like to sing
Loud as hell when I need to unwind


I wonder if this night's the night
When finally things will go right
I wore my best heels
(Made from baby seals)
And I hope I don't get in a fight


You never know when you might find a

Pthom
10-02-2011, 10:18 AM
You never know when you might find a
Moron who dances the samba.

annetpfeffer
10-02-2011, 04:38 PM
You never know when you might find a
Moron who dances the samba.
His rhythm is off

flyingtart
10-02-2011, 04:39 PM
You never know when you might find a
Moron who dances the samba.
His rhythm is off
His steps make you cough

MidlifeMark
10-02-2011, 05:14 PM
You never know when you might find a
Moron who dances the samba.
His rhythm is off
His steps make you cough
I'd prefer Viola de Gamba

Oh, what will the Pats do today?

annetpfeffer
10-02-2011, 07:04 PM
Oh, what will the Pats do today?
Achieve greatness or just be okay?

Nymtoc
10-02-2011, 07:24 PM
:Lecture: Just here to annoy you again. In the above limerick, "find a" does not rhyme with "samba." No way, nowhere, nohow.

This brings up regional differences, which we've discussed before. In much of the UK, and in certain parts of the US, a rhyme for "find a" could be "binder," "kinder" or "grinder," etc. Some Americans seem to find this bizarre, but it's perfectly acceptable in New York City, where I live. "I wish I could find-a and remind-a that she borrowed my bind-a," etc., is heard all the time, especially from native-born New Yorkers.

Yes, I am indulging in a :rant:. Take it for what it's worth--or expel me from this forum and lose the benefit of my incomparable wisdom. :D

MidlifeMark
10-02-2011, 08:12 PM
Oh, what will the Pats do today?
Achieve greatness or just be okay?
Well, I'm thinking they'll win

MidlifeMark
10-02-2011, 08:14 PM
:Lecture: Just here to annoy you again. In the above limerick, "find a" does not rhyme with "samba." No way, nowhere, nohow.

This brings up regional differences, which we've discussed before. In much of the UK, and in certain parts of the US, a rhyme for "find a" could be "binder," "kinder" or "grinder," etc. Some Americans seem to find this shocking, but it's perfectly acceptable in New York City, where I live. "I wish I could find-a and remind-a that she borrowed my bind-a," etc., is heard all the time, especially from native-born New Yorkers.

Yes, I am indulging in a :rant:. Take it for what it's worth--or expel me from this forum and lose the benefit of my incomparable wisdom. :D

But you missed the meter issue in the same line. If you're gonna critique, finish the job! :D

Nymtoc
10-02-2011, 08:40 PM
Oh, what will the Pats do today?
Achieve greatness or just be okay?
Well, I'm thinking they'll win
To Oakland's chagrin

annetpfeffer
10-02-2011, 09:54 PM
Oh, what will the Pats do today?
Achieve greatness or just be okay?
Well, I'm thinking they'll win
To Oakland's chagrin.
Go, Patriots, go-- all the way!


I ate a whole pizza for lunch

MidlifeMark
10-03-2011, 05:40 AM
I ate a whole pizza for lunch
Dessert, a one pound Nestle's Crunch

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 06:15 AM
I ate a whole pizza for lunch
Dessert, a one pound Nestle's Crunch.
By three I was groaning

Matera the Mad
10-03-2011, 07:47 AM
I ate a whole pizza for lunch
Dessert, a one pound Nestle's Crunch.
By three I was groaning
Weeping and moaning

Nymtoc
10-03-2011, 08:35 AM
I ate a whole pizza for lunch
Dessert, a one pound Nestle's Crunch.
By three I was groaning
Weeping and moaning
I emptied it into the punch.

Miranda makes figures of clay

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 10:31 AM
Miranda makes figures of clay,
then puts the things out on display.

Sir_Nigel
10-03-2011, 12:16 PM
Miranda makes figures of clay,
then puts the things out on display.
But they’re ugly and squat

flyingtart
10-03-2011, 03:02 PM
Miranda makes figures of clay,
then puts the things out on display.
But they’re ugly and squat
And what's more they're not

Sir_Nigel
10-03-2011, 04:40 PM
Miranda makes figures of clay,
then puts the things out on display.
But they’re ugly and squat
And what's more they're not
even baked so they’re squidgy and grey.



Professor van Klomp in his lab

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 05:05 PM
Professor van Klomp in his lab
determined this fact about flab:

flyingtart
10-03-2011, 05:19 PM
Professor van Klomp in his lab
determined this fact about flab:
The larger the wobble

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 05:39 PM
Professor van Klomp in his lab
determined this fact about flab:
The larger the wobble
the more you will hobble

Sir_Nigel
10-03-2011, 05:46 PM
Professor van Klomp in his lab
determined this fact about flab:
The larger the wobble
the more you will hobble
So lay off that second kebab.


He called for his manservant Raoul

Nymtoc
10-03-2011, 08:55 PM
He called for his manservant Raoul,
A hunchback who spoke with a growl,

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 09:21 PM
Now hold on a second Nymtoc :)

You're pronouncing Raoul as if rhymes with growl? I've always thought of it as Rah-ool, which doesn't rhyme with much of anything except made-up words, like the one I put in: haoul. (Pronounced Hah-ool).

**shrugs** I guess it all comes down to what you learned in
schah - ool. :) :)




He called for his manservant Raoul,
A hunchback who spoke with a growl.
Raoul wouldn't come

flyingtart
10-03-2011, 09:38 PM
He called for his manservant Raoul,
A hunchback who spoke with a growl.
Raoul wouldn't come,
The big lazy bum

annetpfeffer
10-03-2011, 10:01 PM
He called for his manservant Raoul,
A hunchback who spoke with a gra-ool.
Raoul wouldn't come.
The big lazy bum?
No, he just thought his boss a tah --ool.



The pumpkins are ripe on the vine

Pthom
10-04-2011, 04:34 AM
The pumpkins are ripe on the vine
But from them you can't make good wine.

annetpfeffer
10-04-2011, 04:40 AM
The pumpkins are ripe on the vine
But from them you can't make good wine.
The pies, though, are great

Sir_Nigel
10-04-2011, 11:51 AM
The pumpkins are ripe on the vine
But from them you can't make good wine.
The pies, though, are great
Don’t drink – masticate !

flyingtart
10-04-2011, 12:11 PM
The pumpkins are ripe on the vine
But from them you can't make good wine.
The pies, though, are great
Don’t drink – masticate !
Or fuck 'em and you'll do just fine.


When Doris and Boris were wed

annetpfeffer
10-04-2011, 04:34 PM
When Doris and Boris were wed
They didn't jump straight into bed

iLion
10-04-2011, 08:36 PM
When Doris and Boris were wed
They didn't jump straight into bed
'cause Grandpa was there

archerjoe
10-04-2011, 09:24 PM
When Doris and Boris were wed
They didn't jump straight into bed
'cause Grandpa was there
arm-wrestling a bear

annetpfeffer
10-04-2011, 09:44 PM
When Doris and Boris were wed
They didn't jump straight into bed
'cause Grandpa was there
arm-wrestling a bear.
"No four-ways for me!" Doris said.


So Doris ran out to their car

flyingtart
10-04-2011, 10:20 PM
So Doris ran out to their car
But sadly she did not get far

annetpfeffer
10-05-2011, 12:43 AM
So Doris ran out to their car
But sadly she did not get far
The bear ran and caught her

Matera the Mad
10-05-2011, 09:20 AM
So Doris ran out to their car
But sadly she did not get far
The bear ran and caught her
They fought; he out-fought her

annetpfeffer
10-05-2011, 09:38 AM
So Doris ran out to their car
But sadly she did not get far
The bear ran and caught her
They fought; he out-fought her.
Now Doris is inside the b'ar.


I really should write every day

Sir_Nigel
10-05-2011, 12:19 PM
I really should write every day
But here in the bar I must stay

flyingtart
10-05-2011, 02:00 PM
I really should write every day
But here in the bar I must stay
For boozing, I find

Sir_Nigel
10-05-2011, 03:15 PM
I really should write every day
But here in the bar I must stay
For boozing, I find
has made me half blind

annetpfeffer
10-05-2011, 04:44 PM
I really should write every day
But here in the bar I must stay
For boozing, I find
has made me half blind
with nothing whatever to say.


I'm normally very well spoken
__________________

iLion
10-05-2011, 08:05 PM
I'm normally very well spoken
But Amanda has got me all chokin'

iLion
10-06-2011, 04:00 AM
(*Let's get this party started!)

I'm normally very well spoken
But Amanda has got me all chokin'
I'm glad she is out

Matera the Mad
10-06-2011, 05:23 AM
I'm normally very well spoken
But Amanda has got me all chokin'
I'm glad she is out
For, without a doubt,

annetpfeffer
10-06-2011, 05:45 AM
I'm normally very well spoken
But Amanda has got me all chokin'
I'm glad she is out
For, without a doubt,
That girl is amazingly smokin'.


A girl named Miranda McGee

Matera the Mad
10-06-2011, 06:25 AM
A girl named Miranda McGee
Put some kind of hoodoo on me

MidlifeMark
10-06-2011, 06:43 AM
A girl named Miranda McGee
Put some kind of hoodoo on me
A four hour woodie

Sir_Nigel
10-06-2011, 11:55 AM
A girl named Miranda McGee
Put some kind of hoodoo on me
A four hour woodie
whilst locked in my study

flyingtart
10-06-2011, 12:43 PM
A girl named Miranda McGee
Put some kind of hoodoo on me
A four hour woodie
whilst locked in my study
How safe will my computer be?


The news was received with despair

Sir_Nigel
10-06-2011, 01:20 PM
The news was received with despair
though some people just didn’t care

annetpfeffer
10-06-2011, 01:42 PM
The news was received with despair
though some people just didn’t care
that self-stimulation

flyingtart
10-06-2011, 02:06 PM
The news was received with despair
though some people just didn’t care
that self-stimulation
was sweeping the nation

Sir_Nigel
10-06-2011, 02:37 PM
The news was received with despair
though some people just didn’t care
that self-stimulation
was sweeping the nation
Y’all having fun over there?


They wrote with lascivious glee

annetpfeffer
10-06-2011, 06:46 PM
They wrote with lascivious glee
"It's perverted and base, you'll agree,"

Lavern08
10-06-2011, 09:30 PM
They wrote with lascivious glee
"It's perverted and base, you'll agree,"
But don't you feel silly

annetpfeffer
10-06-2011, 10:33 PM
They wrote with lascivious glee
"It's perverted and base, you'll agree,"
But don't you feel silly
while whacking your willy

Pthom
10-07-2011, 03:09 AM
They wrote with lascivious glee
"It's perverted and base, you'll agree,"
But don't you feel silly
While whacking your willy
To find it is really your knee?

Whatever became of good sense?

Matera the Mad
10-07-2011, 07:26 AM
Whatever became of good sense?
It must have jumped over the fence

annetpfeffer
10-07-2011, 07:57 AM
Whatever became of good sense?
It must have jumped over the fence.
My brain's on vacation

flyingtart
10-07-2011, 01:00 PM
Whatever became of good sense?
It must have jumped over the fence.
My brain's on vacation
I lack concentration

Sir_Nigel
10-07-2011, 01:49 PM
Whatever became of good sense?
It must have jumped over the fence.
My brain's on vacation
I lack concentration.
My Mars bar cost 70 pence.


Oi less of your sauce - she declared

flyingtart
10-07-2011, 01:51 PM
Oi less of your sauce - she declared
But the punter just sat there and glared

Nymtoc
10-07-2011, 08:55 PM
Oi less of your sauce - she declared
But the punter just sat there and glared
The coins in his fist

iLion
10-07-2011, 09:10 PM
Oi less of your sauce - she declared
But the punter just sat there and glared
The coins in his fist
Her eyes all amist

flyingtart
10-07-2011, 10:36 PM
Oi less of your sauce - she declared
But the punter just sat there and glared
The coins in his fist
Her eyes all amist
And only his ignorance bared


She'd often imagined a scene

annetpfeffer
10-08-2011, 12:25 AM
She'd often imagined a scene
in which, from a vending machine,

MidlifeMark
10-08-2011, 02:01 AM
She'd often imagined a scene
in which, from a vending machine,
she purchased a condom

Nymtoc
10-08-2011, 02:54 AM
She'd often imagined a scene
in which, from a vending machine,
she purchased a condom
For Jimmy McFondom

annetpfeffer
10-08-2011, 03:56 AM
She'd often imagined a scene
in which, from a vending machine,
she purchased a condom
For Jimmy McFondom,
who's hung with a near submarine.


When Jimmy came over to play

Pthom
10-08-2011, 03:59 AM
She'd often imagined a scene
in which, from a vending machine,
she purchased a condom
For Jimmy McFondom
Or maybe for Billy Modine.

Pricilla Fragilla Magoo

When Jimmy came over to play
He brought with him oodles of clay

flyingtart
10-08-2011, 10:38 AM
When Jimmy came over to play
He brought with him oodles of clay
"Forgive me," he said

annetpfeffer
10-08-2011, 04:58 PM
When Jimmy came over to play
He brought with him oodles of clay
"Forgive me," he said
while hanging his head

Pthom
10-09-2011, 12:02 AM
When Jimmy came over to play
He brought with him oodles of clay
"Forgive me," he said
while hanging his head
"But my mommy said I couldn't stay."

Pricilla Fragilla Magoo

Nymtoc
10-09-2011, 12:36 AM
Pricilla Fragilla Magoo
Makes thingamabobs of bamboo

MidlifeMark
10-09-2011, 12:40 AM
Pricilla Fragilla Magoo
Makes thingamabobs of bamboo
With dubious uses

annetpfeffer
10-09-2011, 05:04 AM
Pricilla Fragilla Magoo
Makes thingamabobs of bamboo
With dubious uses
and outright abuses

flyingtart
10-09-2011, 11:29 AM
Pricilla Fragilla Magoo
Makes thingamabobs of bamboo
With dubious uses
and outright abuses
Of people in old Timbuktu


She stripped the adverbs from her prose

MidlifeMark
10-09-2011, 03:14 PM
She stripped the adverbs from her prose
And won't compare love to a rose

annetpfeffer
10-09-2011, 06:48 PM
She stripped the adverbs from her prose
And won't compare love to a rose.
Her powerful verbs

flyingtart
10-09-2011, 07:12 PM
She stripped the adverbs from her prose
And won't compare love to a rose.
Her powerful verbs
Are like heady herbs

Nymtoc
10-09-2011, 07:42 PM
She stripped the adverbs from her prose
And won't compare love to a rose.
Her powerful verbs
Are like heady herbs
That tickle your tongue and your nose.

When Cynthia went for a swim

flyingtart
10-09-2011, 08:14 PM
When Cynthia went for a swim
She encountered a diver called Jim

annetpfeffer
10-09-2011, 09:53 PM
When Cynthia went for a swim
She encountered a diver called Jim.
They dove really deep

iLion
10-10-2011, 02:16 AM
When Cynthia went for a swim
She encountered a diver called Jim.
They dove really deep
But the tide.. it was neap

Nymtoc
10-10-2011, 03:10 AM
When Cynthia went for a swim
She encountered a diver called Jim.
They dove really deep
But the tide.. it was neap
And since then, no one's seen her or him.

The captain cried, "All hands on deck!"

kellysaid
10-10-2011, 05:05 AM
The captain cried, "All hands on deck!"
"Man your stations before we wreck!"

Sir_Nigel
10-10-2011, 03:56 PM
The captain cried, "All hands on deck!"
"Man your stations before we wreck!"
But sadly they drowned

annetpfeffer
10-10-2011, 03:59 PM
The captain cried, "All hands on deck!"
"Man your stations before we wreck!"
But sadly they drowned
The news went around

Sir_Nigel
10-10-2011, 04:40 PM
The captain cried, "All hands on deck!"
"Man your stations before we wreck!"
But sadly they drowned
The news went around
via pigeon – it was very low-tech.



I appear to be stuck in the mud

Nymtoc
10-10-2011, 07:37 PM
I appear to be stuck in the mud
I'm sitting here chewing my cud

kellysaid
10-10-2011, 08:10 PM
I appear to be stuck in the mud
I'm sitting here chewing my cud
While life sprints on by

iLion
10-10-2011, 08:31 PM
I appear to be stuck in the mud
I'm sitting here chewing my cud
While life sprints on by
I ask myself why

Nymtoc
10-10-2011, 08:33 PM
I appear to be stuck in the mud
I'm sitting here chewing my cud
While life sprints on by
I ask myself why
I turned out to be such a dud.

I think I'll head down to the beach

iLion
10-10-2011, 08:41 PM
I think I'll head down to the beach
To try and find Chong's buddy Cheech

Nymtoc
10-10-2011, 10:31 PM
I think I'll head down to the beach
To try and find Chong's buddy Cheech
I'll bet that he's got

annetpfeffer
10-10-2011, 10:56 PM
I appear to be stuck in the mud
I'm sitting here chewing my cud.
A cow's life's a tough one

Nymtoc
10-10-2011, 11:03 PM
Nice, but you're on the wrong page, annetpfeffer. ;)

Pthom
10-11-2011, 12:51 AM
I think I'll head down to the beach
To try and find Chong's buddy Cheech
I'll bet that he's got
A very great lot

Matera the Mad
10-11-2011, 03:42 AM
I think I'll head down to the beach
To try and find Chong's buddy Cheech
I'll bet that he's got
A very great lot
Of bud; I want one bag for each :D

The tree surgeon went out on a limb

Steve Coate
10-11-2011, 03:43 AM
The tree surgeon went out on a limb
His chances were less than slim

annetpfeffer
10-11-2011, 03:52 AM
Ha ha... sorry for the mess up ...!

The tree surgeon went out on a limb
His chances were not even slim ( ** meter)
The limb cracked and sagged


__________________

Sir_Nigel
10-11-2011, 01:21 PM
The tree surgeon went out on a limb
His chances were not even slim
The limb cracked and sagged
‘You’re nuts’ – his wife nagged

annetpfeffer
10-11-2011, 04:36 PM
The tree surgeon went out on a limb
His chances were not even slim
The limb cracked and sagged
‘You’re nuts’ – his wife nagged.
As he fell, he cried, "It was a whim!"


They buried him under that tree

Sir_Nigel
10-11-2011, 05:05 PM
They buried him under that tree
but he doggedly dug himself free

kellysaid
10-11-2011, 07:06 PM
They buried him under that tree
but he doggedly dug himself free
he then cast a spell

annetpfeffer
10-11-2011, 07:20 PM
They buried him under that tree
but he doggedly dug himself free
he then cast a spell
but his horrible smell

Nymtoc
10-11-2011, 08:19 PM
They buried him under that tree
but he doggedly dug himself free
he then cast a spell
but his horrible smell
Made them lock him back in with a key.

My uncle and aunt are from Venus

iLion
10-11-2011, 08:26 PM
My uncle and aunt are from Venus
And my nephew and niece are from Mars

Nymtoc
10-11-2011, 08:30 PM
My uncle and aunt are from Venus
And my nephew and niece are from Mars

Hey, iLion, it won't work! :e2woo: Those two lines gotta rhyme, dude! :e2hammer:

My uncle and aunt are from Venus
They come from an alternate genus

iLion
10-11-2011, 08:34 PM
My uncle and aunt are from Venus
They come from an alternate genus
They kiss with their feet

Matera the Mad
10-11-2011, 11:08 PM
My uncle and aunt are from Venus
They come from an alternate genus
They kiss with their feet
Which I think is sweet

(and I can see where this might be headed and I'm glad it's somebody else's turn :ROFL: )

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 01:14 AM
My uncle and aunt are from Venus
They come from an alternate genus
They kiss with their feet
Which I think is sweet
And my uncle drinks tea with his penis.




So, Nymtoc, I hope that you're happy

Nymtoc
10-12-2011, 02:30 AM
So, Nymtoc, I hope that you're happy
And not more than typically sappy

annetpfeffer
10-12-2011, 05:06 AM
So, Nymtoc, I hope that you're happy
And not more than typically sappy
The ruder the rhyme

MidlifeMark
10-12-2011, 05:12 AM
So, Nymtoc, I hope that you're happy
And not more than typically sappy
The ruder the rhyme
(please stop short of crime)