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poetinahat
12-05-2005, 07:47 AM
My grandmother's chocolate fudge cookies
should not be eaten by rookies
They're loaded with chips
So if your blood sugar dips
Better postpone your calls to the bookies!

I'm willing to show you the ropes

Perks
12-05-2005, 07:50 AM
I'm willing to show you the ropes
Lim'rick writing is hardly for dopes

PattiTheWicked
12-05-2005, 07:52 AM
I'm willing to show you the ropes
Lim'rick writing is hardly for dopes
Nor for the timid

reph
12-05-2005, 08:34 AM
I'm willing to show you the ropes
Lim'rick writing is hardly for dopes
Nor for the timid
Or one with a slim id

poetinahat
12-05-2005, 08:43 AM
I'm willing to show you the ropes
Lim'rick writing is hardly for dopes
Nor for the timid
Or one with a slim id
or who frequently shows up on 'snopes'

The Brady Bunch family wagon

PrettySpecialGal
12-05-2005, 09:03 AM
The Brady Bunch family wagon-
I'm sorry to say it was draggin'

poetinahat
12-05-2005, 09:05 AM
The Brady Bunch family wagon-
I'm sorry to say it was draggin'
When Alice and Sam

PrettySpecialGal
12-05-2005, 09:07 AM
The Brady Bunch family wagon-
I'm sorry to say it was draggin'
When Alice and Sam
Went to pick up some ham

Pat~
12-05-2005, 09:15 AM
The Brady Bunch family wagon-
I'm sorry to say it was draggin'
When Alice and Sam
Went to pick up some ham
The weight led to serious saggin.'

My brother went off to Morocco

Pthom
12-05-2005, 11:08 AM
My brother went off to Morocco
His hotel was strange: quite rococo.

threedogpeople
12-05-2005, 02:12 PM
My brother went off to Morocco
His hotel was strange: quite rococo.
The bed was quite lumpy.

Pat~
12-05-2005, 06:28 PM
My brother went off to Morocco
His hotel was strange: quite rococo.
The bed was quite lumpy,
No sleep made him grumpy

threedogpeople
12-05-2005, 08:51 PM
My brother went off to Morocco
His hotel was strange: quite rococo.
The bed was quite lumpy,
No sleep made him grumpy
The bellman kept yelling, "Ho! Ho! Ho"

My husband is fighting a cold

Unique
12-05-2005, 09:00 PM
My husband is fighting a cold
but I say it's due to the mold

PattiTheWicked
12-05-2005, 11:15 PM
My husband is fighting a cold
but I say it's due to the mold
His coughin' and sneezin'

Pat~
12-06-2005, 12:34 AM
My husband is fighting a cold
but I say it's due to the mold
His coughin' and sneezin'
is not very pleasin'

threedogpeople
12-07-2005, 12:51 AM
My husband is fighting a cold
but I say it's due to the mold
His coughin' and sneezin'
is not very pleasin'
and frankly it's getting quite old.

I may have a cold or the flu

Pthom
12-07-2005, 12:22 PM
I may have a cold or the flu
So I went to a doctor who knew

reph
12-07-2005, 12:27 PM
I may have a cold or the flu
So I went to a doctor who knew
Every germ in the book

NickDangr
12-07-2005, 07:13 PM
I may have a cold or the flu
So I went to a doctor who knew
Every germ in the book
But when he took a look...

Yeshanu
12-08-2005, 01:46 AM
I may have a cold or the flu
So I went to a doctor who knew
Every germ in the book
But when he took a look
At my throat he found out it was blue!

Last night when it started to snow

Pat~
12-08-2005, 01:48 AM
Last night when it started to snow
And the wind chill felt twenty below

Pthom
12-08-2005, 04:50 AM
Last night when it started to snow
And the wind chill felt twenty below
I sat in my rocker

PattiTheWicked
12-08-2005, 10:09 PM
Last night when it started to snow
And the wind chill felt twenty below
I sat in my rocker
And turned on some soccer

Pat~
12-08-2005, 10:18 PM
Last night when it started to snow
And the wind chill felt twenty below
I sat in my rocker
And turned on some soccer
While outside the towtrucks did tow.

This morning I started a puzzle

Melina
12-08-2005, 11:14 PM
This morning I started a puzzle
And whiskey proceeded to guzzle

Yeshanu
12-09-2005, 05:00 AM
This morning I started a puzzle
And whiskey proceeded to guzzle
I drank forty shots

PattiTheWicked
12-09-2005, 08:25 AM
This morning I started a puzzle
And whiskey proceeded to guzzle
I drank forty shots
And believe it or not

Unique
12-09-2005, 09:31 AM
This morning I started a puzzle
And whiskey proceeded to guzzle
I drank forty shots
And believe it or not
the kids I proceeded to muzzle.



The reindeer are looking so grim

My-Immortal
12-09-2005, 09:48 AM
The reindeer are looking so grim
Cause Santa is still way too trim

reph
12-09-2005, 10:16 AM
The reindeer are looking so grim
Cause Santa is still way too trim
Since he cut out desserts

Melina
12-09-2005, 05:00 PM
The reindeer are looking so grim
Cause Santa is still way too trim
Since he cut out desserts
And wears much smaller shirts,

Pthom
12-09-2005, 10:04 PM
The reindeer are looking so grim
Cause Santa is still way too trim
Since he cut out desserts
And wears much smaller shirts,
The kids just won't recognize him.

I'd fasten my socks to the mantle

Melina
12-10-2005, 12:21 AM
I'd fasten my socks to the mantle
Just under the pine-scented candle

Pat~
12-10-2005, 02:51 AM
I'd fasten my socks to the mantle
Just under the pine-scented candle
But they're probably too small

PattiTheWicked
12-10-2005, 04:17 AM
I'd fasten my socks to the mantle
Just under the pine-scented candle
But they're probably too small
And the stress of it all

threedogpeople
12-11-2005, 10:08 PM
I'd fasten my socks to the mantle
Just under the pine-scented candle
But they're probably too small
And the stress of it all
is much more than I can handle.


My dog has been begging for treats

PattiTheWicked
12-11-2005, 10:42 PM
My dog has been begging for treats
And he's laying on top of my feets

Melina
12-12-2005, 04:59 PM
My dog has been begging for treats
And he's laying on top of my feets
He whines and he drools,

Pat~
12-12-2005, 05:53 PM
My dog has been begging for treats
And he's laying on top of my feets
He whines and he drools,
Till I put down my tools

Yeshanu
12-14-2005, 01:19 AM
My dog has been begging for treats
And he's laying on top of my feets
He whines and he drools,
Till I put down my tools
And give him some treats he can eats.


My cat is a lazy old lump

threedogpeople
12-14-2005, 08:22 AM
My cat is a lazy old lump
if you wake him, he's also a grump

My-Immortal
12-14-2005, 08:54 AM
My cat is a lazy old lump
if you wake him, he's also a grump
I kicked him, he's dead

SusanR
12-14-2005, 05:02 PM
My cat is a lazy old lump
if you wake him, he's also a grump
I kicked him, he's dead,
so I'm going to bed

reph
12-14-2005, 10:09 PM
My cat is a lazy old lump
if you wake him, he's also a grump
I kicked him, he's dead,
so I'm going to bed
Wait a minute! I just saw him jump!

I didn't want a verse to end with a dead cat. Old softie, yeah.

Whenever I start to wash dishes

Yeshanu
12-15-2005, 01:01 AM
I didn't want a verse to end with a dead cat. Old softie, yeah.


Sometimes I do wonder about my cat...

But then he jumps (or at least twitches his tail), and I know he's all right.

Whenever I start to wash dishes
I look at the sink and I wishes

My-Immortal
12-15-2005, 01:04 AM
Whenever I start to wash dishes
I look at the sink and I wishes
My cat wouldn't drink

Pat~
12-15-2005, 01:11 AM
Whenever I start to wash dishes
I look at the sink and I wishes
My cat wouldn't drink
From the dishes that stink

My-Immortal
12-15-2005, 01:17 AM
Whenever I start to wash dishes
I look at the sink and I wishes
My cat wouldn't drink
From the dishes that stink
Then pi$$ in the tank with the fishes...

I want to know right from the start,

SusanR
12-15-2005, 07:52 PM
I want to know right from the start,
What causes my sons both to fart.

PattiTheWicked
12-15-2005, 08:36 PM
I want to know right from the start,
What causes my sons both to fart.
Perhaps it's their diet

Pthom
12-16-2005, 05:32 AM
I want to know right from the start,
What causes my sons both to fart.
Perhaps it's their diet
(an intestinal riot!)

threedogpeople
12-18-2005, 04:06 PM
I want to know right from the start,
What causes my sons both to fart.
Perhaps it's their diet
(an intestinal riot!)
'cause they honed it to an art.

I don't want to cook Christmas dinner

elisadasilva
12-18-2005, 04:27 PM
I don't want to cook Christmas dinner
Which probably makes me a sinner
But I'm far too lazy

Unique
12-18-2005, 04:45 PM
I don't want to cook Christmas dinner
Which probably makes me a sinner
But I'm far too lazy
To make myself crazy

SusanR
12-18-2005, 06:49 PM
I don't want to cook Christmas dinner
Which probably makes me a sinner
But I'm far too lazy
To make myself crazy.
Besides, if I don't, I'll be thinner.

SusanR

Pthom
12-19-2005, 04:54 AM
And now, SusanR, it's your turn to provide the first line of the next limerick.

Please. :)

SusanR
12-20-2005, 06:41 PM
Oh, sorry! I fell asleep at the wheel!

If Santa had once been a hippie,

NeuroFizz
12-21-2005, 12:34 AM
If Santa had once been a hippie,
With his man boobs and the chill, he'd be nippy.

Yeshanu
12-21-2005, 01:21 AM
If Santa had once been a hippie,
With his man boobs and the chill, he'd be nippy.
But his red hat and coat

Pthom
12-22-2005, 12:55 AM
If Santa had once been a hippie,
With his man boobs and the chill, he'd be nippy.
But his red hat and coat
Serve to cover his bloat
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _



*sigh*

Melina
12-28-2005, 08:42 PM
If Santa had once been a hippie,
With his man boobs and the chill, he'd be nippy.
But his red hat and coat
Serve to cover his bloat
'Cause to see him in dreds would be trippy!

The New Year holds so much potential

Annabella
12-28-2005, 10:44 PM
The New Year holds so much potential
Resolutions are essential

poetinahat
12-29-2005, 03:19 PM
The New Year holds so much potential
Resolutions are essential <== meter fix: anyone? Or am I out of tune?
You don't need to keep 'em;

Pthom
12-29-2005, 10:45 PM
The New Year holds so much potential
Resolutions are therefore essential <how's that?
You don't need to keep 'em;
Or even reveal 'em.

Yeshanu
12-29-2005, 11:35 PM
The New Year holds so much potential
Resolutions are therefore essential <much better
You don't need to keep 'em;
Or even reveal 'em.
They just wipe out the inconsequential.


It's Lori B's birthday today

NeuroFizz
12-30-2005, 12:41 AM
It's Lori B's birthday today
And wouldn't it be special if Ray...

pconsidine
12-30-2005, 01:34 AM
It's Lori B's birthday today
And wouldn't it be special if Ray
did a Happy Joy Dance

NeuroFizz
12-30-2005, 02:00 AM
It's Lori B's birthday today
And wouldn't it be special if Ray
did a Happy Joy Dance
without any pants

Unique
12-30-2005, 02:09 AM
It's Lori B's birthday today
And wouldn't it be special if Ray
did a Happy Joy Dance
without any pants
and blew sloppy kisses her way.


And after the party was over

PattiTheWicked
12-30-2005, 02:09 AM
And after the party was over
We all played a game of Red Rover

NeuroFizz
12-30-2005, 08:21 PM
And after the party was over
We all played a game of Red Rover
At three hundred pounds

Pthom
12-31-2005, 06:18 AM
And after the party was over
We all played a game of Red Rover
At three hundred pounds
The plaintiff had grounds

poetinahat
12-31-2005, 11:53 AM
And after the party was over
We all played a game of Red Rover
At three hundred pounds
The plaintiff had grounds
to sandblast the white cliffs of Dover

I met my wife on Jerry Springer

pianoman5
12-31-2005, 01:59 PM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger

threedogpeople
12-31-2005, 11:12 PM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger;
it's guest list was shocking

reph
12-31-2005, 11:22 PM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger;
it's guest list was shocking
Each man wore one stocking

PattiTheWicked
12-31-2005, 11:34 PM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger;
it's guest list was shocking
Each man wore one stocking
And I sat with a transvestite swinger

After taping the show was all done

Yeshanu
01-01-2006, 03:06 AM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger;
it's guest list was shocking
Each man wore one stocking
And I sat with a transvestite swinger

After taping the show was all done
We went out for sushi and fun




(I left in the previous limerick because it seems that we're still continuing the subject...)

pianoman5
01-01-2006, 04:07 AM
I met my wife on Jerry Springer
The episode was a humdinger;
it's guest list was shocking
Each man wore one stocking
And I sat with a transvestite swinger

After taping the show was all done
We went out for sushi and fun.
While Jerry was witty,

Pthom
01-01-2006, 05:03 AM
After taping the show was all done
We went out for sushi and fun.
While Jerry was witty,
His agent was gritty.

poetinahat
01-02-2006, 02:56 PM
After taping the show was all done
We went out for sushi and fun.
While Jerry was witty,
His agent was gritty.
(She's known as Attila the "Hon".)

So next week, I'm on Rikki Lake

NeuroFizz
01-02-2006, 06:01 PM
So next week, I'm on Rikki Lake
And this time so much is at stake.

PattiTheWicked
01-02-2006, 07:58 PM
So next week, I'm on Rikki Lake
And this time so much is at stake.
When they ask "Who's yo daddy?"

Pthom
01-03-2006, 04:07 AM
So next week, I'm on Rikki Lake
And this time so much is at stake.
When they ask "Who's yo daddy?"
I point to the caddy

PrettySpecialGal
01-03-2006, 06:50 AM
So next week, I'm on Rikki Lake
And this time so much is at stake.
When they ask "Who's yo daddy?"
I point to the caddy
He stands up and yells, "You're a snake!"

A snake I am called, yes it's true....

Pat~
01-03-2006, 07:24 AM
A snake I am called, yes it's true....
Now I'm off to Judge Judy to sue;

Pthom
01-03-2006, 11:01 AM
A snake I am called, yes it's true....
Now I'm off to Judge Judy to sue;
But instead, old Judge Wapner

threedogpeople
01-03-2006, 01:31 PM
A snake I am called, yes it's true....
Now I'm off to Judge Judy to sue;
But instead, old Judge Wapner
made my ex a pauper

poetinahat
01-03-2006, 03:08 PM
A snake I am called, yes it's true....
Now I'm off to Judge Judy to sue;
But instead, old Judge Wapner
made my ex a pauper
and greyer than Phil Donahue

The nose of Geraldo Rivera

Pat~
01-03-2006, 07:06 PM
The nose of Geraldo Rivera
Is as smashed as my old great aunt Clara

NeuroFizz
01-03-2006, 07:54 PM
The nose of Geraldo Rivera
Is as smashed as my old great aunt Clara
He pokes it in places

PrettySpecialGal
01-04-2006, 06:05 AM
The nose of Geraldo Rivera
Is as smashed as my old great aunt Clara
He pokes it in places
puts his fingers in spaces

PattiTheWicked
01-04-2006, 06:20 AM
The nose of Geraldo Rivera
Is as smashed as my old great aunt Clara
He pokes it in places
puts his fingers in spaces
While dressed up like Scarlett O'Hara

Sadly, for all those he meets,

Melina
01-04-2006, 10:41 PM
Sadly, for all those he meets,
this insipid advice he repeats:

poetinahat
01-05-2006, 03:10 AM
Sadly, for all those he meets,
this insipid advice he repeats:
"Be happy each day

threedogpeople
01-06-2006, 07:30 PM
Sadly, for all those he meets,
this insipid advice he repeats:
"Be happy each day
but can't tell them the way

poetinahat
01-07-2006, 08:43 AM
Sadly, for all those he meets,
this insipid advice he repeats:
"Be happy each day"
but can't tell them the way
without asking to go 'tween the sheets

My favorite, by far, is Montel

PattiTheWicked
01-07-2006, 11:40 PM
My favorite, by far, is Montel
That bald top we all know so well

poetinahat
01-08-2006, 03:15 PM
My favorite, by far, is Montel
That bald top we all know so well
'Zat him on Spin City?

PattiTheWicked
01-08-2006, 11:23 PM
My favorite, by far, is Montel
That bald top we all know so well
'Zat him on Spin City?
Oh, he look so pretty!

Pthom
01-12-2006, 10:15 AM
My favorite, by far, is Montel
That bald top we all know so well
'Zat him on Spin City?
Oh, he look so pretty!
And his self-help books are so . . . swell!

Why is this thread always mislaid?

poetinahat
01-13-2006, 04:16 AM
Why is this thread always mislaid?
Are the rhyme leprechauns underpaid?

sirensix
01-13-2006, 05:16 AM
Why is this thread always mislaid?
Are the rhyme leprechauns underpaid?
Should we nail it in place?

My-Immortal
01-13-2006, 05:20 AM
Why is this thread always mislaid?
Are the rhyme leprechauns underpaid?
Should we nail it in place?
Or let it fall in disgrace?

poetinahat
01-13-2006, 04:45 PM
Why is this thread always mislaid?
Are the rhyme leprechauns underpaid?
Should we nail it in place?
Or let it fall in disgrace?
Let's not let it wilt in the shade!

Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!

Unique
01-13-2006, 05:25 PM
Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!
Tis tough when your brain is in shards

NeuroFizz
01-13-2006, 05:30 PM
Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!
Tis tough when your brain is in shards
While time is the devil

PrettySpecialGal
01-14-2006, 05:18 AM
Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!
Tis tough when your brain is in shards
While time is the devil
You must keep that head level

poetinahat
01-14-2006, 03:37 PM
Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!
Tis tough when your brain is in shards
While time is the devil
You must keep that head level
But don't you be pikers, old pards*

I'm back in the saddle again


*: paraphrase from Robert Service's The Quitter

Unique
01-14-2006, 03:55 PM
I'm back in the saddle again
and dealing in pesos and yen

Pthom
01-16-2006, 07:35 AM
I'm back in the saddle again
and dealing in pesos and yen
But all of my Euros

poetinahat
01-16-2006, 07:45 AM
I'm back in the saddle again
and dealing in pesos and yen
But all of my Euros
are invested in burros

Pthom
01-16-2006, 07:53 AM
I'm back in the saddle again
and dealing in pesos and yen
But all of my Euros
are invested in burros
And a noisy but egg-laden hen.

We're so glad you learned how to ride

Solatium
01-16-2006, 06:37 PM
We're so glad you learned how to ride
But it's late now: come on back inside

Unique
01-16-2006, 06:40 PM
We're so glad you learned how to ride
But it's late now: come on back inside
You can't bring the horse

Carole
01-17-2006, 03:29 AM
We're so glad you learned how to ride
But it's late now: come on back inside
You can't bring the horse
in for dinner, of course

poetinahat
01-17-2006, 06:14 AM
We're so glad you learned how to ride
But it's late now: come on back inside
You can't bring the horse
in for dinner, of course
he's Clydesdale, not Bonnie or Clyde...

I'm riding a wave of euphoria

Perks
01-17-2006, 06:16 AM
I'm riding a wave of euphoria
But it won't get me through to Peoria

NeuroFizz
01-17-2006, 05:05 PM
I'm riding a wave of euphoria
But it won't get me through to Peoria
With the sun in my eyes

threedogpeople
01-18-2006, 12:56 AM
I'm riding a wave of euphoria
But it won't get me through to Peoria
With the sun in my eyes
and some sand on my thighs

Solatium
01-18-2006, 01:42 AM
I'm riding a wave of euphoria
But it won't get me through to Peoria
With the sun in my eyes
and some sand on my thighs
And a floozy who says her name's Gloria

-

So, what do we know about Nero?

poetinahat
01-18-2006, 02:15 AM
So, what do we know about Nero?
Either fiddler or Wolfe, he's a hero

NeuroFizz
01-18-2006, 09:24 PM
So, what do we know about Nero?
Either fiddler or Wolfe, he's a hero
In toga or spats

Unique
01-18-2006, 09:25 PM
So, what do we know about Nero?
Either fiddler or Wolfe, he's a hero
In toga or spats
He's juggling cats

Pthom
01-18-2006, 11:52 PM
So, what do we know about Nero?
Either fiddler or Wolfe, he's a hero
In toga or spats
He's juggling cats
Why? 'Cause his countdown starts well below zero.

I found a kink in my tape measure

sirensix
01-18-2006, 11:56 PM
I found a kink in my tape measure
I whacked it to show my displeasure

PattiTheWicked
01-19-2006, 12:05 AM
I found a kink in my tape measure
I whacked it to show my displeasure
then to my chagrin

sirensix
01-19-2006, 07:50 PM
I found a kink in my tape measure
I whacked it to show my displeasure
then to my chagrin
Bob Vila walked in

Yeshanu
01-20-2006, 06:00 AM
I found a kink in my tape measure
I whacked it to show my displeasure
then to my chagrin
Bob Vila walked in
And straigtened it out at his lesiure.

Mozart turns 250 this year

PattiTheWicked
01-20-2006, 07:13 AM
Mozart turns 250 this year
Let's all celebrate with a beer!

poetinahat
01-20-2006, 07:18 AM
Mozart turns 250 this year
Let's all celebrate with a beer!
His Divertimenti

Pthom
01-21-2006, 07:37 AM
Mozart turns 250 this year
Let's all celebrate with a beer!
His Divertimenti
with clouds of pink confetti

poetinahat
01-21-2006, 01:54 PM
Mozart turns 250 this year
Let's all celebrate with a beer!
His Divertimenti
with clouds of pink confetti
were fav'rites of old Jan Vermeer

So, if you can play a piano

Meaney
01-22-2006, 11:38 AM
So, if you can play a piano
any better than that iPod Nano

Pthom
01-23-2006, 11:42 AM
So, if you can play a piano
any better than that iPod Nano
and you don't have the flu

poetinahat
01-23-2006, 11:43 AM
So, if you can play a piano
any better than that iPod Nano
and you don't have the flu
then your gig starts at two

Unique
01-23-2006, 05:42 PM
So, if you can play a piano
any better than that iPod Nano
and you don't have the flu
then your gig starts at two
of course we'll provide the soprano.

This soprano, oh how she sings

threedogpeople
01-23-2006, 11:37 PM
This soprano, oh how she sings
almost like sound given wings

NeuroFizz
01-23-2006, 11:46 PM
This soprano, oh how she sings
almost like sound given wings
But she is a he

NeuroFizz
01-23-2006, 11:47 PM
This soprano, oh how she sings
almost like sound given wings
But she is a he
Castrada, you see


(sorry, I couldn't resist doing two in a row. Bash me if I've broken a rule,)

threedogpeople
01-23-2006, 11:58 PM
This soprano, oh how she sings
almost like sound given wings
But she is a he
Castrada, you see
and missing two manly things.


The sun hasn't shined in a week

poetinahat
01-24-2006, 02:50 AM
The sun hasn't shined in a week
So I'm winging it to Martinique

Yeshanu
01-24-2006, 03:08 AM
The sun hasn't shined in a week
So I'm winging it to Martinique
I'll laze on the beach

threedogpeople
01-24-2006, 09:39 AM
The sun hasn't shined in a week
So I'm winging it to Martinique
I'll laze on the beach
a Mai Tai in reach

Unique
01-24-2006, 09:46 AM
The sun hasn't shined in a week
So I'm winging it to Martinique
I'll laze on the beach
a Mai Tai in reach
and a hand rubbing oil on each cheek.

Vacations are great for a tan

Pthom
01-24-2006, 10:32 AM
Vacations are great for a tan
Claimed the eminent Coppertone man

poetinahat
01-24-2006, 10:44 AM
Vacations are great for a tan
Claimed the eminent Coppertone man
I'm covered in oil

sirensix
01-24-2006, 08:48 PM
Vacations are great for a tan
Claimed the eminent Coppertone man
I'm covered in oil
And starting to boil

Yeshanu
01-25-2006, 03:58 AM
Vacations are great for a tan
Claimed the eminent Coppertone man
I'm covered in oil
And starting to boil
Like a fish in a hot frying pan.


My computer is getting quite old

poetinahat
01-25-2006, 04:09 AM
My computer is getting quite old
There's a new thing called 'Windows', I'm told

threedogpeople
01-25-2006, 04:12 AM
My computer is getting quite old
There's a new thing called 'Windows', I'm told.
It's made Gates rich,

poetinahat
01-25-2006, 06:14 AM
My computer is getting quite old
There's a new thing called 'Windows', I'm told.
It's made [Bill] Gates rich, <-- slight correction, if I may
runs at 5 MegaGlitch...

sirensix
01-25-2006, 10:15 PM
My computer is getting quite old
There's a new thing called 'Windows', I'm told.
It's made Bill Gates rich,
runs at 5 MegaGlitch,
but I closed it for fear I'd catch cold.

Flu season's upon us again

Meaney
01-26-2006, 06:07 PM
Flu season's upon us again
I got it from this sickly hen

NeuroFizz
01-26-2006, 06:18 PM
Flu season's upon us again
I got it from this sickly hen
A pandemic of one

poetinahat
01-27-2006, 10:09 AM
Flu season's upon us again
I got it from this sickly hen
A pandemic of one
and a nose Born to Run

threedogpeople
01-27-2006, 05:10 PM
Flu season's upon us again
I got it from this sickly hen
A pandemic of one
and a nose Born to Run
sometimes John Couger's not fun.:Guitar:


(I may have just "aged" myself!)


The chills kinda' give me a thrill

Yeshanu
01-27-2006, 05:14 PM
The chills kinda' give me a thrill
Until the doc hands me his bill

threedogpeople
01-27-2006, 05:25 PM
The chills kinda' give me a thrill
Until the doc hands me his bill
Ten dollars a minute

PattiTheWicked
01-27-2006, 07:19 PM
The chills kinda' give me a thrill
Until the doc hands me his bill
Ten dollars a minute,
but the details within it

Meaney
01-28-2006, 09:04 AM
The chills kinda' give me a thrill
Until the doc hands me his bill
Ten dollars a minute,
but the details within it
read "golf clubs" and "trip to Brazil."

The cop collared Louie the Mule

poetinahat
01-28-2006, 03:30 PM
The cop collared Louie the Mule
when his lookout (the bumbling fool)

Solatium
01-29-2006, 09:27 AM
The cop collared Louie the Mule
when his lookout (the bumbling fool)
started shrieking with terror

PattiTheWicked
01-29-2006, 07:40 PM
The cop collared Louie the Mule
when his lookout (the bumbling fool)
started shrieking with terror
that he'd made a great error

Meaney
01-30-2006, 08:04 AM
The cop collared Louie the Mule
when his lookout (the bumbling fool)
started shrieking with terror
that he'd made a great error
and confounded his stash with his stool.

Sorry, that was revolting. Let me make amends:

A good little girl who wore posies

poetinahat
01-31-2006, 02:59 AM
A good little girl who wore posies
was seen drinking shots down at Josie's

Unique
01-31-2006, 03:03 AM
A good little girl who wore posies
was seen drinking shots down at Josie's
belly up to the bar

poetinahat
01-31-2006, 05:16 AM
A good little girl who wore posies
was seen drinking shots down at Josie's
belly up to the bar
order scotch in a jar

Yeshanu
01-31-2006, 05:28 AM
A good little girl who wore posies
was seen drinking shots down at Josie's
belly up to the bar
order scotch in a jar
then snuggle up next to me cozy.

A young man of means and good breeding

Pat~
01-31-2006, 05:35 AM
A young man of means and good breeding
Spent most of his time simply reading

NeuroFizz
01-31-2006, 05:19 PM
A young man of means and good breeding
Spent most of his time simply reading
When his secret was out

WVWriterGirl
01-31-2006, 08:44 PM
A young man of means and good breeding
Spent most of his time simply reading
When his secret was out
The girls would all pout

Pat~
02-01-2006, 03:25 AM
A young man of means and good breeding
Spent most of his time simply reading
When his secret was out
The girls would all pout
Till he finally gave in to their pleading.

There once was a maid named Rapunzel

poetinahat
02-01-2006, 03:30 AM
There once was a maid named Rapunzel
whose dad said, "Stop spending! Our funds'll

Yeshanu
02-01-2006, 04:57 AM
There once was a maid named Rapunzel
whose dad said, "Stop spending! Our funds'll
deplete to the point

Meaney
02-01-2006, 01:44 PM
There once was a maid named Rapunzel
whose dad said, "Stop spending! Our funds'll
deplete to the point
that your braid's out of joint

poetinahat
02-01-2006, 02:43 PM
There once was a maid named Rapunzel
whose dad said, "Stop spending! Our funds'll
deplete to the point
that your braid's out of joint
and the princes will think everyone's ill!"

I'll serve you a coffee gelato

Pthom
02-02-2006, 12:40 AM
I'll serve you a coffee gelato
Laced with some fine amaretto

NickDangr
02-02-2006, 12:46 AM
I'll serve you a coffee gelato
Laced with some fine amaretto
If you ask for some sweetener

Meaney
02-02-2006, 03:35 PM
I'll serve you a coffee gelato
Laced with some fine amaretto
If you ask for some sweetener
like a fat poncy Etoner

poetinahat
02-02-2006, 03:45 PM
I'll serve you a coffee gelato
Laced with some fine amaretto
If you ask for some sweetener
like a fat poncy Etoner
I'll grace your face with a tomato

The girl ambles by with a rhythm

Yeshanu
02-02-2006, 06:28 PM
The girl ambles by with a rhythm
That says to me, "She's had too much rum

My-Immortal
02-02-2006, 09:45 PM
The girl ambles by with a rhythm
That says to me, "She's had too much rum"
If I lit a match near her

WVWriterGirl
02-02-2006, 09:53 PM
The girl ambles by with a rhythm
That says to me, "She's had too much rum"
If I lit a match near her
The explosion would sear her

threedogpeople
02-03-2006, 12:08 AM
The girl ambles by with a rhythm
That says to me, "She's had too much rum"
If I lit a match near her
The explosion would sear her
with flames coming out of her bum.

Does rhythm really rhyme with rum?

PattiTheWicked
02-03-2006, 12:39 AM
Does rhythm really rhyme with rum?
I'll ponder while nibbling my thumb

NeuroFizz
02-03-2006, 02:01 AM
Does rhythm really rhyme with rum?
I'll ponder while nibbling my thumb
The heck, I'll drink it

threedogpeople
02-03-2006, 03:21 AM
Does rhythm really rhyme with rum?
I'll ponder while nibbling my thumb
The heck, I'll drink it
like some kind of nitwit,



(not really Neuro, it just rhymed, OK?)

Pat~
02-03-2006, 03:30 AM
Does rhythm really rhyme with rum?
I'll ponder while nibbling my thumb
The heck, I'll drink it
like some kind of nitwit,
And hope I won't swallow my gum.

A pig in a poke went to market

threedogpeople
02-03-2006, 05:25 AM
A pig in a poke went to market,
he took a big box of croquettes,

My-Immortal
02-03-2006, 07:51 AM
A pig in a poke went to market,
he took a big box of croquettes,
when he bent over

Solatium
02-03-2006, 10:07 AM
A pig in a poke went to market,
he took a big box of croquettes,
when he bent over
to nibble the clover

poetinahat
02-03-2006, 11:53 AM
A pig in a poke went to market,
he took a big box of croquettes,
when he bent over
to nibble the clover
He bumped into Rosanna Arquette

The barbeque babies of Babel

Jo
02-03-2006, 01:12 PM
The barbeque babies of Babel
were known for cooking up trouble

Solatium
02-03-2006, 03:39 PM
The barbeque babies of Babel
were known for cooking up trouble:
a dash of dissension,

NeuroFizz
02-03-2006, 05:10 PM
The barbeque babies of Babel
were known for cooking up trouble:
a dash of dissension,
and massive retention

Yeshanu
02-04-2006, 04:07 AM
The barbeque babies of Babel
were known for cooking up trouble:
a dash of dissension,
and massive retention
Reduced the whole city to rubble!

I once had fried chicken for lunch

PattiTheWicked
02-04-2006, 05:29 AM
I once had fried chicken for lunch
Examined the bucket, just on a hunch

My-Immortal
02-04-2006, 05:42 AM
I once had fried chicken for lunch
Examined the bucket, just on a hunch
I found something with scales

Pat~
02-04-2006, 05:53 AM
I once had fried chicken for lunch
Examined the bucket, just on a hunch
I found something with scales
And two fingernails

My-Immortal
02-04-2006, 06:06 AM
I once had fried chicken for lunch
Examined the bucket, just on a hunch
I found something with scales
And two fingernails
Which gave the 'chicken' some crunch.

I had Chinese food later that night,

poetinahat
02-04-2006, 04:11 PM
I had Chinese food later that night,
and the chef was especially bright:

Yeshanu
02-05-2006, 04:53 AM
I had Chinese food later that night,
and the chef was especially bright:
Into the fried rice

Pat~
02-05-2006, 09:06 AM
I had Chinese food later that night,
and the chef was especially bright:
Into the fried rice
He stirred an egg twice

poetinahat
02-06-2006, 07:43 AM
I had Chinese food later that night,
and the chef was especially bright:
Into the fried rice
He stirred an egg twice
Then fashioned it into a kite

The surface of Venus is warm

writerterri
02-06-2006, 10:08 AM
I had Chinese food later that night,
and the chef was especially bright:
Into the fried rice
He stirred an egg twice
Then fashioned it into a kite

The surface of Venus is warm
My heated passion is torn

Yeshanu
02-06-2006, 09:47 PM
The surface of Venus is warm
My heated passion is torn
'Tween Sarah and Jane

writerterri
02-07-2006, 12:00 AM
The surface of Venus is warm
My heated passion is torn
'Tween Sarah and Jane
One's heart must be slain

NeuroFizz
02-07-2006, 12:21 AM
The surface of Venus is warm
My heated passion is torn
'Tween Sarah and Jane
One's heart must be slain
And one half of me forever forlorn.

If ever there was a big mess

poetinahat
02-07-2006, 01:43 AM
If ever there was a big mess
It's when teenaged lobsters undress

NeuroFizz
02-07-2006, 01:54 AM
If ever there was a big mess
It's when teenaged lobsters undress
With shells in the molt

Pat~
02-07-2006, 02:28 AM
If ever there was a big mess
It's when teenaged lobsters undress
With shells in the molt
It's a sight to revolt

Yeshanu
02-07-2006, 05:09 AM
If ever there was a big mess
It's when teenaged lobsters undress
With shells in the molt
It's a sight to revolt
The most hardened folks of the press.

Steak and shrimp's fine for dinner, I say

Meaney
02-07-2006, 02:41 PM
Steak and shrimp's fine for dinner, I say
I eat one in and one takeaway

poetinahat
02-07-2006, 04:32 PM
Steak and shrimp's fine for dinner, I say
I eat one in and one takeaway
With a bottle of lager

PattiTheWicked
02-07-2006, 10:29 PM
Steak and shrimp's fine for dinner, I say
I eat one in and one takeaway
With a bottle of lager
and a spandex-clad jogger

PrettySpecialGal
02-07-2006, 10:42 PM
Steak and shrimp's fine for dinner, I say
I eat one in and one takeaway
With a bottle of lager
and a spandex-clad jogger
Try and catch me to join me today


I much prefer meals made from scratch

PattiTheWicked
02-07-2006, 11:15 PM
I much prefer meals made from scratch
Try lasagna! I just made a batch!

Melina
02-08-2006, 12:17 AM
I much prefer meals made from scratch
Try lasagna! I just made a batch!
My linguine's sublime

NeuroFizz
02-08-2006, 01:36 AM
I much prefer meals made from scratch
Try lasagna! I just made a batch!
My linguine's sublime
heavy basil and thyme

poetinahat
02-08-2006, 10:50 AM
I much prefer meals made from scratch
Try lasagna! I just made a batch!
My linguine's sublime
heavy basil and thyme
And a glass of shiraz... down the hatch!

King Crimson, the Who, and Joe Cocker

Meaney
02-08-2006, 03:24 PM
King Crimson, the Who, and Joe Cocker
ducked out for a quick game of soccer

PattiTheWicked
02-08-2006, 05:29 PM
King Crimson, the Who, and Joe Cocker
ducked out for a quick game of soccer
Keith Richards dropped by

NeuroFizz
02-08-2006, 05:50 PM
King Crimson, the Who, and Joe Cocker
ducked out for a quick game of soccer
Keith Richards dropped by
Of course, he was high

PrettySpecialGal
02-08-2006, 09:35 PM
King Crimson, the Who, and Joe Cocker
ducked out for a quick game of soccer
Keith Richards dropped by
Of course, he was high
They all were-hmmm... what a shocker!


If soccer's not game of your choice

Pthom
02-12-2006, 04:52 AM
If soccer's not game of your choice
And you don't own a purple Rolls Royce,

Solatium
02-12-2006, 05:57 AM
If soccer's not game of your choice
And you don't own a purple Rolls Royce,
Then you're more-or-less normal

akelsey333
02-13-2006, 01:15 AM
If soccer's not game of your choice
And you don't own a purple Rolls Royce,
Then you're more-or-less normal
No need to be formal

poetinahat
02-13-2006, 04:46 AM
If soccer's not game of your choice
And you don't own a purple Rolls Royce,
Then you're more-or-less normal
No need to be formal
But don't you use that tone of voice!

I came in last place in the luge

Pthom
02-13-2006, 04:49 AM
If soccer's not game of your choice
And you don't own a purple Rolls Royce,
Then you're more-or-less normal
No need to be formal
Just let your voice come out loud and rejoice!

When the choices for rhymes are not clear

Pthom
02-13-2006, 04:51 AM
LOL, Poet, you got it done before I did. ;)

okay, so I'll work on yours.

I came in last place in the luge
'Cause the booties they gave me were huge.

NeuroFizz
02-13-2006, 05:41 PM
I came in last place in the luge
'Cause the booties they gave me were huge.
Feet first, they're a drag

threedogpeople
02-14-2006, 12:54 AM
I came in last place in the luge
'Cause the booties they gave me were huge.
Feet first, they're a drag
caused my butt to sag

Yeshanu
02-14-2006, 01:59 AM
I came in last place in the luge
'Cause the booties they gave me were huge.
Feet first, they're a drag
caused my butt to sag
I looked like a touqe-wearin' stooge.


While skiing downhill in the winter

threedogpeople
02-14-2006, 03:11 AM
While skiing downhill in the winter
my ski started turning to splinters

poetinahat
02-14-2006, 03:27 AM
While skiing downhill in the winter
my ski started turning to splinters
So I dug in my pole

Unique
02-14-2006, 03:54 AM
While skiing downhill in the winter
my ski started turning to splinters
So I dug in my pole
but I skewered a mole

trumancoyote
02-14-2006, 03:59 AM
While skiing downhill in the winter
my ski started turning to splinters
So I dug in my pole
but I skewered a mole
and now I've got something for dinner.

*

I used to eat nothing but sushi

poetinahat
02-14-2006, 06:31 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy

writerterri
02-14-2006, 06:33 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy
But now she's just sum dum mushy

poetinahat
02-14-2006, 06:45 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy
But now she's just sum dum mushy

Tez, this line doesn't fit in the limerick format.

Lines 3 and 4 are shorter and have a different rhyme or near-rhyme. For example:

While skiing downhill in the winter
my ski started turning to splinters
So I dug in my pole
but I skewered a mole
and now I've got something for dinner.

Have another go!

writerterri
02-14-2006, 07:11 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy
but now she's just dumb





http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_111v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS)

Pthom
02-14-2006, 11:12 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy
but now she's just dumb
poked her eye with her thumb

Yeshanu
02-15-2006, 05:24 AM
I used to eat nothing but sushi
'cos my Japanese girlfriend was pushy
but now she's just dumb
poked her eye with her thumb.
You should see it! Now it's all mushy!

Happy Valentine's Day to you all

poetinahat
02-15-2006, 06:13 AM
Happy Valentine's Day to you all
I've been meaning to give you a call

Pthom
02-15-2006, 06:13 AM
Happy Valentine's Day to you all
Yes, even you there alone in the hall

poetinahat
02-15-2006, 06:24 AM
Happy Valentine's Day to you all
Yes, even you there alone in the hall
Come on over tonight

Solatium
02-15-2006, 06:34 AM
Happy Valentine's Day to you all
Yes, even you there alone in the hall
Come on over tonight;
If your timing is right,

Meaney
02-15-2006, 04:10 PM
Happy Valentine's Day to you all
Yes, even you there alone in the hall
Come on over tonight;
If your timing is right,
we'll explore your abdominal wall.

If the sharks keep on eating our tourists