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flyingtart
08-02-2011, 12:31 PM
The owl in my oak tree goes "Hoooo!"
The bird in my clock goes "Cuckoo!"
But my mangy canary
Just goes "Cheery cherry!"
Oh what can a bird lover do?


Nymtoc was a great fan of snooker

Nymtoc
08-02-2011, 07:54 PM
Nymtoc was a great fan of snooker
He learned how to play from a hooker

archerjoe
08-02-2011, 08:45 PM
Nymtoc was a great fan of snooker
He learned how to play from a hooker
She was quick with a cue

iLion
08-02-2011, 09:33 PM
Nymtoc was a great fan of snooker
He learned how to play from a hooker
She was quick with a cue
Knocked his balls all askew

Nymtoc
08-03-2011, 03:19 AM
Nymtoc was a great fan of snooker
He learned how to play from a hooker
She was quick with a cue
Knocked his balls all askew
"Ow!" he said, "but at least she's a looker."

When flyingtart flies, people stare

MidlifeMark
08-03-2011, 03:52 AM
When flyingtart flies, people stare
Why she does it, they don't really care

GailD
08-03-2011, 04:11 AM
When flyingtart flies, people stare
Why she does it, they don't really care
It's all in her style

MidlifeMark
08-03-2011, 04:41 AM
When flyingtart flies, people stare
Why she does it, they don't really care
It's all in her style
As she soars with a smile

Nymtoc
08-03-2011, 07:38 AM
When flyingtart flies, people stare
Why she does it, they don't really care
It's all in her style
As she soars with a smile
Looking fair, way up there in the air.

My thingamabob fell apart

Elana
08-03-2011, 08:33 AM
My thingamabob fell apart
With a clatter that gave me a start

flyingtart
08-03-2011, 09:48 AM
My thingamabob fell apart
With a clatter that gave me a start
I picked up the bits

kellysaid
08-03-2011, 07:33 PM
My thingamabob fell apart
With a clatter that gave me a start
I picked up the bits
while doing the splits

Lavern08
08-03-2011, 09:19 PM
My thingamabob fell apart
With a clatter that gave me a start
I picked up the bits
While doing the splits
And eating a strawberry tart.

I just found a bag filled with money

kellysaid
08-03-2011, 10:45 PM
I just found a bag filled with money
but it looks like it might be funny

flyingtart
08-03-2011, 11:40 PM
I just found a bag filled with money
but it looks like it might be funny
Cos the ten dollar bills

Pthom
08-04-2011, 04:43 AM
I just found a bag filled with money
but it looks like it might be funny
Cos the ten dollar bills
Have the wrong kind of frills

Nymtoc
08-04-2011, 04:53 AM
I just found a bag filled with money
but it looks like it might be funny
Cos the ten dollar bills
Have the wrong kind of frills
And the picture of Al's overdone-y.

I went for a job, but they said

MidlifeMark
08-04-2011, 05:50 AM
I went for a job, but they said
"Your hair is impossibly red!"

flyingtart
08-04-2011, 08:48 AM
I went for a job, but they said
"Your hair is impossibly red!"
Which hardly seems fair

Nymtoc
08-04-2011, 09:47 AM
I went for a job, but they said
"Your hair is impossibly red!"
Which hardly seems fair
Since most of my hair

flyingtart
08-04-2011, 10:00 AM
I went for a job, but they said
"Your hair is impossibly red!"
Which hardly seems fair
Since most of my hair
Fell out when I got out of bed


Your signature juggles his balls

Albedo of Zero
08-04-2011, 10:24 AM
Your signature juggles his balls
in a space excruciatingly small

GailD
08-04-2011, 03:56 PM
Your signature juggles his balls
in a space excruciatingly small
Now if size doesn't count

flyingtart
08-04-2011, 04:59 PM
Your signature juggles his balls
in a space excruciatingly small
Now if size doesn't count
That tiny amount

Nymtoc
08-04-2011, 07:19 PM
Your signature juggles his balls
in a space excruciatingly small
Now if size doesn't count
That tiny amount
Still amazes, still thrills, still enthralls!

A spy lurks among us, I think

GailD
08-04-2011, 08:24 PM
A spy lurks among us, I think
In the guise of an amiable shrink

iLion
08-04-2011, 09:13 PM
A spy lurks among us, I think
In the guise of an amiable shrink
He writes it all

Nymtoc
08-04-2011, 09:22 PM
A spy lurks among us, I think
In the guise of an amiable shrink
He writes it all
In a Viennese scrawl

Lavern08
08-04-2011, 09:46 PM
A spy lurks among us, I think
In the guise of an amiable shrink
He writes it all
In a Viennese scrawl
While teetering just on the brink

The weatherman said it would rain

kellysaid
08-04-2011, 10:03 PM
The weatherman said it would rain
alas the sun shines through my pane

Lavern08
08-04-2011, 10:52 PM
The weatherman said it would rain
alas the sun shines through my pane
I took my umbrella

Pthom
08-05-2011, 01:56 AM
The weatherman said it would rain;
Alas the sun shines through my pane.
I took my umbrella
In search of a fella

Nymtoc
08-05-2011, 03:24 AM
The weatherman said it would rain;
Alas the sun shines through my pane.
I took my umbrella
In search of a fella
Who'd show me the way to Cockaigne.

The house on the hill has a ghost

talkwrite
08-05-2011, 03:40 AM
The house on the hill has a ghost
Who looks like Al Capone-almost

MidlifeMark
08-05-2011, 03:49 AM
The house on the hill has a ghost
Who looks like Al Capone-almost
He wears a fedora

Nymtoc
08-05-2011, 04:19 AM
The house on the hill has a ghost
Who looks like Al Capone-almost
He wears a fedora
And has a dark aura

Pthom
08-05-2011, 04:25 AM
Minor adjustment for meter:

The house on the hill has a ghost
Who looks like Capone (Al) --almost
He wears a fedora
Goes out with sweet Dora oops
And has a dark aura
And loves to eat jam on his toast.

(sorry)

My reason for being is mush

MidlifeMark
08-05-2011, 05:20 AM
My reason for being is mush
Though some people think I'm a lush

Matera the Mad
08-05-2011, 06:10 AM
My reason for being is mush
Though some people think I'm a lush
I'm really depressed

Nymtoc
08-05-2011, 06:38 AM
My reason for being is mush
Though some people think I'm a lush
I'm really depressed
And look how I'm dressed!

Albedo of Zero
08-05-2011, 07:32 AM
My reason for being is mush
Though some people think I'm a lush
I'm really depressed
And look how I'm dressed!
In a diaper (but keep it hush-hush)


Next Tuesday is when I'll begin

MidlifeMark
08-05-2011, 02:37 PM
Next Tuesday is when I'll begin
I'm planning a cardinal sin

flyingtart
08-05-2011, 03:28 PM
Next Tuesday is when I'll begin
I'm planning a cardinal sin
I'll sneak out the back

MidlifeMark
08-05-2011, 05:26 PM
Next Tuesday is when I'll begin
I'm planning a cardinal sin
I'll sneak out the back
And dress all in black

Nymtoc
08-05-2011, 06:54 PM
Next Tuesday is when I'll begin
I'm planning a cardinal sin
I'll sneak out the back
And dress all in black
And practice my blood-chilling grin.

And then I will creep down the street

Lavern08
08-05-2011, 07:15 PM
And then I will creep down the street
And tell everyone that I meet

flyingtart
08-05-2011, 08:17 PM
And then I will creep down the street
And tell everyone that I meet
Their pants are on fire

iLion
08-05-2011, 08:58 PM
And then I will creep down the street
And tell everyone that I meet
Their pants are on fire
my hose is for hire

Lavern08
08-05-2011, 09:20 PM
And then I will creep down the street
And tell everyone that I meet
Their pants are on fire
my hose is for hire
But I will be very discreet

I've never seen elephants fly

iLion
08-05-2011, 09:41 PM
I've never seen elephants fly
Though I push them off buildings to try

flyingtart
08-05-2011, 10:37 PM
I've never seen elephants fly
Though I push them off buildings to try
They flap their great ears

Nymtoc
08-05-2011, 10:38 PM
I've never seen elephants fly
Though I push them off buildings to try
They flap their great ears
The crowd below cheers

Lavern08
08-05-2011, 11:22 PM
I've never seen elephants fly
Though I push them off buildings to try
They flap their great ears
The crowd below cheers
As pachyderms fall from the sky

The circus had run out of fleas

MidlifeMark
08-06-2011, 12:48 AM
The circus had run out of fleas
At the flea market, I sold them these

GailD
08-06-2011, 01:10 AM
The circus had run out of fleas
At the flea market, I sold them these
They're small and they hop

Nymtoc
08-06-2011, 01:16 AM
The circus had run out of fleas
At the flea market, I sold them these
They're small and they hop
They do a flip-flop

MidlifeMark
08-06-2011, 02:18 AM
The circus had run out of fleas
At the flea market, I sold them these
They're small and they hop
They do a flip-flop
And when the song's over, they freeze.

I'm fixing my motorbike's wiring

talkwrite
08-06-2011, 02:23 AM
I'm fixing my motorbike's wiring
It can't seem to stop misfiring

kellysaid
08-06-2011, 02:25 AM
I'm fixing my motorbike's wiring
It can't seem to stop misfiring
I've tried twisting this

iLion
08-06-2011, 05:56 AM
I'm fixing my motorbike's wiring
It can't seem to stop misfiring
I've tried twisting this
and gave it a kiss

MidlifeMark
08-06-2011, 06:11 AM
I'm fixing my motorbike's wiring
It can't seem to stop misfiring
I've tried twisting this
and gave it a kiss
These efforts, though, seem uninspiring.

Aha! I have found a blown fuse

kellysaid
08-06-2011, 06:26 AM
Aha! I have found a blown fuse
it's the one that sparks up your muse

flyingtart
08-06-2011, 11:28 AM
Aha! I have found a blown fuse
it's the one that sparks up your muse
That sure does explain

GailD
08-06-2011, 01:55 PM
Aha! I have found a blown fuse
it's the one that sparks up your muse
That sure does explain
The lack of refrain

flyingtart
08-06-2011, 04:57 PM
Aha! I have found a blown fuse
it's the one that sparks up your muse
That sure does explain
The lack of refrain
And my procrastinating ruse


A rock singer whose name was Renard

Nymtoc
08-06-2011, 06:04 PM
A rock singer whose name was Renard
Changed his act and became Hildegarde

MidlifeMark
08-06-2011, 10:27 PM
A rock singer whose name was Renard
Changed his act and became Hildegarde
But he didn't pass muster

Lavern08
08-06-2011, 11:28 PM
A rock singer whose name was Renard
Changed his act and became Hildegarde
But he didn't pass muster
He then became "Buster"

MidlifeMark
08-07-2011, 12:13 AM
A rock singer whose name was Renard
Changed his act and became Hildegarde
But he didn't pass muster
He then became "Buster"
And bought a new black leotard.

A circus knife-juggler named Feeney

Albedo of Zero
08-07-2011, 02:20 AM
A circus knife-juggler named Feeney
Had a good friend, a barber, named Sweeney

MidlifeMark
08-07-2011, 04:46 AM
A circus knife-juggler named Feeney
Had a good friend, a barber, named Sweeney
Who told him a story

Nymtoc
08-07-2011, 06:49 AM
A circus knife-juggler named Feeney
Had a good friend, a barber, named Sweeney
Who told him a story,
Incredibly gory,

Albedo of Zero
08-07-2011, 07:27 AM
A circus knife-juggler named Feeney
Had a good friend, a barber, named Sweeney
Who told him a story,
Incredibly gory,
And Feeney called Sweeney a meanie.


Pinnochio's nose was made short

kellysaid
08-07-2011, 09:25 AM
Pinnochio's nose was made short
but grew with a lie to report

flyingtart
08-07-2011, 12:52 PM
Pinnochio's nose was made short
but grew with a lie to report
It grew and it grew

MidlifeMark
08-07-2011, 02:27 PM
Pinnochio's nose was made short
but grew with a lie to report
It grew and it grew
When his words were untrue

flyingtart
08-07-2011, 02:41 PM
Pinnochio's nose was made short
but grew with a lie to report
It grew and it grew
When his words were untrue
Thank heaven the poor lad got caught


I've saved all my cash for a year

GailD
08-07-2011, 03:16 PM
I've saved all my cash for a year
I can go down to the pub, with a cheer

MidlifeMark
08-07-2011, 05:55 PM
I've saved all my cash for a year
I'll go to the pub, with a cheer*
I'll buy the first round

*edited for meter.

flyingtart
08-07-2011, 06:15 PM
I've saved all my cash for a year
I'll go to the pub, with a cheer*
I'll buy the first round
And gather around

MidlifeMark
08-08-2011, 02:09 AM
I've saved all my cash for a year
I'll go to the pub, with a cheer*
I'll buy the first round
And gather around
the fire, and sip on my beer.

Now, some people think on their feet

iLion
08-08-2011, 05:30 AM
Now, some people think on their feet
And lie without skipping a beat

MidlifeMark
08-08-2011, 05:58 AM
Now, some people think on their feet
And lie without skipping a beat
But my alibis

Matera the Mad
08-08-2011, 07:55 AM
Now, some people think on their feet
And lie without skipping a beat
But my alibis
Will never catch flies

GailD
08-08-2011, 04:02 PM
Now, some people think on their feet
And lie without skipping a beat
But my alibis
Will never catch flies
'Cos I smile and look sweet when I cheat.


Matera's white hat is quite blinding

flyingtart
08-08-2011, 05:35 PM
Matera's white hat is quite blinding
And while trying to post I am finding

Lavern08
08-08-2011, 09:49 PM
Matera's white hat is quite blinding
And while trying to post I am finding
It's such a distraction

Pthom
08-09-2011, 03:51 AM
Matera's white hat is quite blinding
And while trying to post I am finding
It's such a distraction
In the midst of the action

MidlifeMark
08-09-2011, 06:30 AM
Matera's white hat is quite blinding
And while trying to post I am finding
It's such a distraction
Amidst all the action *
I find that my molars are grinding.

A witch rides a broom through the sky

* Edited for meter

flyingtart
08-09-2011, 10:05 AM
A witch rides a broom through the sky
But it's not something I'd like to try

Lavern08
08-09-2011, 05:45 PM
A witch rides a broom through the sky
But it's not something I'd like to try
'Cause heights make me dizzy

iLion
08-09-2011, 08:56 PM
A witch rides a broom through the sky
But it's not something I'd like to try
'Cause heights make me dizzy
My hair gets all frizzy

archerjoe
08-09-2011, 09:12 PM
A witch rides a broom through the sky
But it's not something I'd like to try
'Cause heights make me dizzy
My hair gets all frizzy
In this skirt? No way, I'm too shy

A Scotsman's first ride in a plane

iLion
08-09-2011, 09:16 PM
A Scotsman's first ride in a plane
Made his kilt fly up to his brain

flyingtart
08-09-2011, 09:35 PM
A Scotsman's first ride in a plane
Made his kilt fly up to his brain
The young stewardess

Pthom
08-10-2011, 12:26 AM
A Scotsman's first ride in a plane
Made his kilt fly up to his brain
The young stewardess
Spilled the drinks, made a mess

Nymtoc
08-10-2011, 12:43 AM
A Scotsman's first ride in a plane
Made his kilt fly up to his brain
The young stewardess
Spilled the drinks, made a mess,
Then said, "Won't you do it again?" *

A worrywart known as Gerard





* Pronunciation sometimes heard in the US Atlantic states and elsewhere.

Pthom
08-10-2011, 02:26 AM
A worrywart known as Gerard
Had an unfounded fear of canard

MidlifeMark
08-10-2011, 04:48 AM
A worrywart known as Gerard
Had an unfounded fear of canard
His pet duck got loose

flyingtart
08-10-2011, 10:39 AM
A worrywart known as Gerard
Had an unfounded fear of canard
His pet duck got loose
And rogered a goose

GailD
08-10-2011, 02:47 PM
A worrywart known as Gerard
Had an unfounded fear of canard
His pet duck got loose
And rogered a goose
Who in turn plucked his duck in the yard.



Is a riot a party gone wrong?

flyingtart
08-10-2011, 04:03 PM
Is a riot a party gone wrong?
Is an opera an overweight song?

Nymtoc
08-10-2011, 05:45 PM
Is a riot a party gone wrong?
Is an opera an overweight song?
Is poker a sport?

archerjoe
08-10-2011, 06:47 PM
Is a riot a party gone wrong?
Is an opera an overweight song?
Is poker a sport?
A treehouse a fort?

Pthom
08-10-2011, 09:15 PM
Is a riot a party gone wrong?
Is an opera an overweight song?
Is poker a sport?
A tree house a fort?
Did Zhou Enlai serve Mao Zedong?

Who knows or who cares? Why should I?

archerjoe
08-10-2011, 09:32 PM
Who knows or who cares? Why should I?
It's rhetoric, pie-in-the-sky

flyingtart
08-10-2011, 10:18 PM
Who knows or who cares? Why should I?
It's rhetoric, pie-in-the-sky
Idle speculation

Nymtoc
08-11-2011, 02:40 AM
Who knows or who cares? Why should I?
It's rhetoric, pie-in-the-sky
And vain speculation
Just leads to frustration

Matera the Mad
08-11-2011, 06:19 AM
Who knows or who cares? Why should I?
It's rhetoric, pie-in-the-sky
And vain speculation
Just leads to frustration
We're born, we live, and we die

A rock star who swallowed a guitar pick

Nymtoc
08-11-2011, 08:16 AM
A rocker who swallowed his pick
Said, "Now my guitar will sound sick"

flyingtart
08-11-2011, 10:04 AM
A rocker who swallowed his pick
Said, "Now my guitar will sound sick"
So he puked on the floor

Pthom
08-11-2011, 10:20 PM
A rocker who swallowed his pick
Said, "Now my guitar will sound sick."
So he puked on the floor
And the crowd yelled for more

flyingtart
08-11-2011, 10:30 PM
A rocker who swallowed his pick
Said, "Now my guitar will sound sick."
So he puked on the floor
And the crowd yelled for more
So he puked up his ring, what a dick.


Miss Johnston for pasta did hanker

Nymtoc
08-11-2011, 10:38 PM
Miss Johnston for pasta did hanker
To afford it, she went to her banker

Pthom
08-12-2011, 04:25 AM
Miss Johnston for pasta did hanker
To afford it, she went to her banker.
The banker said, "Ma'am,"

flyingtart
08-12-2011, 09:39 AM
Miss Johnston for pasta did hanker
To afford it, she went to her banker.
The banker said, "Ma'am,
You should try Parma ham"

Nymtoc
08-12-2011, 10:32 AM
Miss Johnston for pasta did hanker
To afford it, she went to her banker.
The banker said, "Ma'am,
You should try Parma ham"
"Get lost," said Miss Johnston with rancor.

And then she met Carlo Coletti

Albedo of Zero
08-12-2011, 11:07 AM
And then she met Carlo Coletti
Who was famous for his french fried spaghetti

Pthom
08-12-2011, 11:20 AM
[A little meter adjustment here...]

And then she met Carlo Coletti
Famous for French fried spaghetti
"The trick," he said, grinning

flyingtart
08-12-2011, 12:36 PM
And then she met Carlo Coletti
Famous for French fried spaghetti
"The trick," he said, grinning
"Is washing and spinning"

Matera the Mad
08-12-2011, 02:31 PM
And then she met Carlo Coletti
Famous for French fried spaghetti
"The trick," he said, grinning
"Is washing and spinning
And never let your guard down," said he.

Alas, all too often we goof up

Pthom
08-13-2011, 12:30 AM
Alas, all too often we goof up
Like washing out socks in your tea cup.

Nymtoc
08-13-2011, 01:47 AM
Alas, all too often we goof up
Like washing out socks in your tea cup
Or mowing your rug

GailD
08-13-2011, 03:53 AM
Alas, all too often we goof up
Like washing out socks in your tea cup
Or mowing your rug
Filling a bath with no plug

Nymtoc
08-13-2011, 04:49 AM
Alas, all too often we goof up
Like washing out socks in your tea cup
Or mowing your rug,
Taking baths with no plug, (adjusted for meter)
Breaking crossbeams when putting your roof up.

Great riches are all I desire

Albedo of Zero
08-13-2011, 05:39 AM
Great riches are all I desire
And maybe addressed as Sire

flyingtart
08-13-2011, 12:00 PM
(slight adjustment for metre)

Great riches are all I desire
And maybe address me as Sire
To walk down the street

Nymtoc
08-13-2011, 03:21 PM
Great riches are all I desire
And maybe address me as Sire
To walk down the street
Where all whom I meet

iLion
08-13-2011, 04:06 PM
Great riches are all I desire
And maybe address me as Sire
To walk down the street
Where all whom I meet
Will break into song like a choir.

All people should bow as I pass

flyingtart
08-13-2011, 05:46 PM
All people should bow as I pass
And spend each day kissing my ass

iLion
08-14-2011, 03:11 AM
All people should bow as I pass
And spend each day kissing my ass
They'll bow and scrape

Nymtoc
08-14-2011, 05:18 AM
All people should bow as I pass
And spend each day kissing my ass
They'll bow and scrape
And throw ticker tape

Albedo of Zero
08-14-2011, 05:27 AM
All people should bow as I pass
And spend each day kissing my ass
They'll bow and scrape
And throw ticker tape
But that's a pipe dream.."who brought this grass?"



Perhaps I will settle for Earl

Nymtoc
08-14-2011, 06:30 AM
Perhaps I will settle for Earl
Now that he's no longer a girl

flyingtart
08-14-2011, 10:43 AM
Perhaps I will settle for Earl
Now that he's no longer a girl
His bosoms have gone

Albedo of Zero
08-14-2011, 10:47 PM
Perhaps I will settle for Earl
Now that he's no longer a girl
His bosoms have gone
And it won't be long

Nymtoc
08-14-2011, 11:10 PM
Perhaps I will settle for Earl
Now that he's no longer a girl
His bosoms have gone
And it won't be long
Till we see an attachment unfurl.

While walking alone in the park

iLion
08-15-2011, 12:04 AM
While walking alone in the park
With thoughts all about Noah's arc

Albedo of Zero
08-15-2011, 02:36 AM
While walking alone in the park
With thoughts all about Noah's arc
Two chipmunks ran past

flyingtart
08-15-2011, 12:17 PM
While walking alone in the park
With thoughts all about Noah's ark
Two chipmunks ran past
Alarmingly fast

Nymtoc
08-15-2011, 07:26 PM
While walking alone in the park
With thoughts all about Noah's ark
Two chipmunks ran past
Alarmingly fast
I think they were fleeing a shark

While finding a rhyme for my verse

archerjoe
08-15-2011, 07:54 PM
While finding a rhyme for my verse
I was hit by a writer's block curse

Pthom
08-16-2011, 03:57 AM
While finding a rhyme for my verse
I was hit by a writer's block curse
With no words that worked well

Nymtoc
08-16-2011, 05:12 AM
While finding a rhyme for my verse
I was hit by a writer's block curse
With no words that worked well
I'd have nothing to sell

iLion
08-16-2011, 09:10 PM
While finding a rhyme for my verse
I was hit by a writer's block curse
With no words that worked well
I'd have nothing to sell
They'd take me away in a hearse.

My finger got stuck in my nose

archerjoe
08-16-2011, 09:13 PM
My finger got stuck in my nose
Just when I knelt down to propose

flyingtart
08-16-2011, 10:27 PM
My finger got stuck in my nose
Just when I knelt down to propose
So the love of my life

kellysaid
08-17-2011, 07:11 AM
My finger got stuck in my nose
Just when I knelt down to propose
So the love of my life
tried to pry with a knife

Nymtoc
08-17-2011, 07:51 AM
My finger got stuck in my nose
Just when I knelt down to propose
So the love of my life
tried to pry with a knife
But it slipped and she cut off my toes.

She served her new lover zucchini

flyingtart
08-17-2011, 10:39 AM
She served her new lover zucchini
While dressed in an amber bikini

archerjoe
08-17-2011, 04:17 PM
She served her new lover zucchini
While dressed in an amber bikini
He said with a sneer

Nymtoc
08-17-2011, 07:40 PM
She served her new lover zucchini
While dressed in an amber bikini
He said with a sneer,
"I like it with beer"

flyingtart
08-17-2011, 07:53 PM
She served her new lover zucchini
While dressed in an amber bikini
He said with a sneer,
"I like it with beer,
"I need it to rinse off my weeny!"


Delilah was covered in bling

Pthom
08-17-2011, 08:52 PM
Delilah was covered in bling
But not just in bling was the thing.

iLion
08-17-2011, 09:49 PM
Delilah was covered in bling
But not just in bling was the thing.
She also had zits

Lavern08
08-18-2011, 12:06 AM
Delilah was covered in bling
But not just in bling was the thing.
She also had zits
On her lady bits

Albedo of Zero
08-18-2011, 07:53 AM
Delilah was covered in bling
But not just in bling was the thing.
She also had zits
On her lady bits
And man, did her g-string sting.


There's Sampson with newly cut hair

Elana
08-18-2011, 09:27 AM
There's Sampson with newly cut hair
His noggin shaved daringly bare

Matera the Mad
08-18-2011, 09:58 AM
There's Sampson with newly cut hair
His noggin shaved daringly bare
Delilah's broad smirk

Nymtoc
08-18-2011, 10:14 AM
There's Sampson with newly cut hair
His noggin shaved daringly bare
Delilah's broad smirk
Proved she'd done her work

flyingtart
08-18-2011, 03:55 PM
There's Sampson with newly cut hair
His noggin shaved daringly bare
Delilah's broad smirk
Proved she'd done her work
And Sampson, he just doesn't care.


She picked at some ham at the deli

Lavern08
08-18-2011, 06:20 PM
She picked at some ham at the deli
While stuffing her face and her belly

kellysaid
08-18-2011, 08:32 PM
She picked at some ham at the deli
While stuffing her face and her belly
Her buttons broke free

iLion
08-18-2011, 08:34 PM
She picked at some ham at the deli
While stuffing her face and her belly
Her buttons broke free
And all could then see

Pthom
08-18-2011, 09:19 PM
She picked at some ham at the deli
While stuffing her face and her belly
Her buttons broke free
And all could then see
That her firmness was all due to jelly.

There once was a trollop named Babs

iLion
08-18-2011, 09:46 PM
There once was a trollop named Babs
Who'd contracted a case of the crabs

archerjoe
08-18-2011, 09:47 PM
There once was a trollop named Babs
Who'd contracted a case of the crabs
She scratched herself silly

iLion
08-18-2011, 09:50 PM
There once was a trollop named Babs
Who'd contracted a case of the crabs
She scratched herself silly
And gave them to Willy

flyingtart
08-18-2011, 09:57 PM
There once was a trollop named Babs
Who'd contracted a case of the crabs
She scratched herself silly
And gave them to Willy
Whose scratching gave him lots of scabs

I don't like all these STDs

Nymtoc
08-18-2011, 10:56 PM
I don't like all these STDs
I'd rather be coping with fleas

Lavern08
08-19-2011, 12:45 AM
I don't like all these STDs
I'd rather be coping with fleas
Though both make me itchy

talkwrite
08-19-2011, 01:19 AM
I don't like all these STDs
I'd rather be coping with fleas
Though both make me itchy
And forever bitchy

Pthom
08-19-2011, 03:42 AM
I don't like all these STDs
I'd rather be coping with fleas
Though both make me itchy
And forever bitchy
They're not as bad as a disease.

It's hard to rhyme some acronyms.

Albedo of Zero
08-19-2011, 03:49 AM
It's hard to rhyme some acronyms.
I only like green M&Ms

archerjoe
08-19-2011, 07:06 AM
It's hard to rhyme some acronyms.
I only like green M&Ms
Add some TLC

flyingtart
08-19-2011, 09:52 AM
It's hard to rhyme some acronyms.
I only like green M&Ms
Add some TLC
And ASAP

Sir_Nigel
08-19-2011, 11:51 AM
It's hard to rhyme some acronyms.
I only like green M&Ms
Add some TLC
And ASAP
they’ll be singing your praises in hymns


But surely you have it in beige?

flyingtart
08-19-2011, 12:13 PM
But surely you have it in beige?
Those cute fur lined pants are the rage

Nymtoc
08-19-2011, 04:22 PM
But surely you have it in beige?
Those cute fur lined pants are the rage
I won't wear hot pink

archerjoe
08-19-2011, 05:28 PM
But surely you have it in beige?
Those cute fur lined pants are the rage
I won't wear hot pink
It's tacky, I think
____________

Lavern08
08-19-2011, 08:13 PM
But surely you have it in beige?
Those cute fur lined pants are the rage
I won't wear hot pink
It's tacky, I think
Especially for someone your age

I waited for him for an hour

iLion
08-19-2011, 09:10 PM
I waited for him for an hour
I was tired of such a long shower

Albedo of Zero
08-19-2011, 09:21 PM
I waited for him for an hour
I was tired of such a long shower
I opened the door

Nymtoc
08-20-2011, 08:00 AM
I waited for him for an hour
I was tired of such a long shower
I opened the door
My towel fell on the floor

flyingtart
08-20-2011, 11:48 AM
I waited for him for an hour
I was tired of such a long shower
I opened the door
My towel fell on the floor
Which turned the proceedings quite sour


Balthazar reread the letter

Nymtoc
08-20-2011, 07:26 PM
Balthazar reread the letter
His hound dog had eaten his sweater

Lavern08
08-21-2011, 02:25 AM
Balthazar reread the letter
His hound dog had eaten his sweater
He cursed and he swore

archerjoe
08-21-2011, 05:36 AM
Balthazar reread the letter
His hound dog had eaten his sweater
He cursed and he swore "That mutt is no more!"

Nymtoc
08-21-2011, 06:25 AM
Balthazar reread the letter
His hound dog had eaten his sweater
He cursed and he swore
"That mutt is no more!"
Now he owns a nice Irish setter.

The mailman brought Jim shocking news

flyingtart
08-21-2011, 10:33 AM
The mailman brought Jim shocking news
A faux pas no one could excuse

MidlifeMark
08-22-2011, 04:49 AM
The mailman brought Jim shocking news
A faux pas no one could excuse
The letter informed him

Sir_Nigel
08-22-2011, 11:24 AM
The mailman brought Jim shocking news
A faux pas no one could excuse
The letter informed him
that the lady who warmed him

flyingtart
08-22-2011, 02:43 PM
The mailman brought Jim shocking news
A faux pas no one could excuse
The letter informed him
that the lady who warmed him
Had done it to steal, what a ruse!


Her name was Delores Latrine

Sir_Nigel
08-22-2011, 05:27 PM
Her name was Delores Latrine
She was friendless and not very clean

Lavern08
08-22-2011, 07:09 PM
Her name was Delores Latrine
She was friendless and not very clean
But oh, could she sing

iLion
08-22-2011, 08:55 PM
Her name was Delores Latrine
She was friendless and not very clean
But oh, could she sing
midst passionate fling

Nymtoc
08-23-2011, 09:11 AM
Her name was Delores Latrine
She was friendless and not very clean
But oh, could she sing
midst passionate fling
With ecstasy. Know what I mean?

The general said to his aide

Pthom
08-23-2011, 10:58 AM
The general said to his aide:
"Why, Captain Longbottom Kincaid!

flyingtart
08-23-2011, 12:41 PM
The general said to his aide:
"Why, Captain Longbottom Kincaid!
Your pants are too short

Sir_Nigel
08-23-2011, 03:06 PM
The general said to his aide:
"Why, Captain Longbottom Kincaid!
Your pants are too short
and may land you in court

Nymtoc
08-23-2011, 06:04 PM
The general said to his aide:
"Why, Captain Longbottom Kincaid!
Your pants are too short
and may land you in court
And get rid of that personal braid!"

In truth, the dark side of the moon

Pthom
08-24-2011, 12:32 AM
In truth, the dark side of the moon
Isn't there: it's a lie, a false tune!

MidlifeMark
08-24-2011, 04:23 AM
In truth, the dark side of the moon
Isn't there: it's a lie, a false tune!
And there's no green cheese

Nymtoc
08-24-2011, 04:53 AM
In truth, the dark side of the moon
Isn't there: it's a lie, a false tune!
And there's no green cheese
Stop kidding me! Please!

Pthom
08-24-2011, 05:48 AM
In truth, the dark side of the moon
Isn't there: it's a lie, a false tune!
And there's no green cheese
Stop kidding me! Please!
After Pluto? Oh no! I might swoon!

But if you go there, you can say:

Nymtoc
08-24-2011, 08:25 AM
But if you go there, you can say:
"A Moon Maid and I played croquet"

flyingtart
08-24-2011, 10:16 AM
But if you go there, you can say:
"A Moon Maid and I played croquet
We danced a quadrille

Sir_Nigel
08-24-2011, 11:17 AM
But if you go there, you can say:
"A Moon Maid and I played croquet
We danced a quadrille
then tangoed until

Nymtoc
08-24-2011, 03:29 PM
But if you go there, you can say:
"A Moon Maid and I played croquet
We danced a quadrille
then tangoed until
The Man in the Moon hit the hay."

I send you my deepest regrets

flyingtart
08-24-2011, 03:52 PM
I send you my deepest regrets
Your puppy has died at the Vet's

Pthom
08-24-2011, 08:35 PM
I send you my deepest regrets
Your puppy has died at the Vet's
But dearest, take heart

iLion
08-24-2011, 08:42 PM
I send you my deepest regrets
Your puppy has died at the Vet's
But dearest, take heart
His will did impart

MidlifeMark
08-25-2011, 05:36 AM
I send you my deepest regrets
Your puppy has died at the Vet's
But dearest, take heart
His will did impart
To you, three old antique Corvettes.

iLion looks good in his tux

Nymtoc
08-25-2011, 08:20 AM
iLion looks good in his tux
I'm betting it cost mega-bucks

flyingtart
08-25-2011, 10:45 AM
iLion looks good in his tux
I'm betting it cost mega-bucks
An outfit so snazzy

iLion
08-25-2011, 08:20 PM
iLion looks good in his tux
I'm betting it cost mega-bucks
An outfit so snazzy
And haircut tres jazzy

__________________

Nymtoc
08-25-2011, 08:54 PM
iLion looks good in his tux
I'm betting it cost mega-bucks
An outfit so snazzy
And haircut très jazzy
Implies a lifestyle très deluxe.

I wish I had clothes just as cool

Lavern08
08-25-2011, 08:56 PM
I wish I had clothes just as cool
'Cause then I would totally rule

Pthom
08-25-2011, 09:25 PM
I wish I had clothes just as cool
'Cause then I would totally rule
But since I'm a nudist

flyingtart
08-25-2011, 09:35 PM
I wish I had clothes just as cool
'Cause then I would totally rule
But since I'm a nudist
My wardrobe's the rudest

Pthom
08-25-2011, 11:02 PM
I wish I had clothes just as cool
'Cause then I would totally rule
But since I'm a nudist
My wardrobe's the rudest
And I don't have to change for the pool!

A hurricane's just a big wind

Nymtoc
08-25-2011, 11:24 PM
A hurricane's just a big wind
I looked at the forecast and grinned

Lavern08
08-26-2011, 12:02 AM
A hurricane's just a big wind
I looked at the forecast and grinned
I won't leave my houseboat

MidlifeMark
08-26-2011, 03:22 AM
A hurricane's just a big wind
I looked at the forecast and grinned
I won't leave my houseboat
All dressed in my housecoat

Nymtoc
08-26-2011, 03:31 AM
A hurricane's just a big wind
I looked at the forecast and grinned
I won't leave my houseboat
All dressed in my housecoat
The storm only hits those who've sinned.

Still, I'm stocking up on supplies

Pthom
08-26-2011, 04:08 AM
Still, I'm stocking up on supplies
You know: hot dogs and burgers and fries.

Albedo of Zero
08-26-2011, 04:47 AM
Still, I'm stocking up on supplies
You know: hot dogs and burgers and fries.
I hope it will last

flyingtart
08-26-2011, 10:18 AM
Still, I'm stocking up on supplies
You know: hot dogs and burgers and fries.
I hope it will last
Till I've broke my fast

Nymtoc
08-26-2011, 10:43 AM
Still, I'm stocking up on supplies
You know: hot dogs and burgers and fries.
I hope it will last
Till I've broke my fast
I don't fancy an early demise.

The creepiest story I know

Sir_Nigel
08-26-2011, 11:44 AM
The creepiest story I know
is the one about Six Fingered Joe

flyingtart
08-26-2011, 12:25 PM
The creepiest story I know
is the one about Six Fingered Joe
He crept in the crypt

Sir_Nigel
08-26-2011, 05:41 PM
The creepiest story I know
is the one about Six Fingered Joe
He crept in the crypt
where the dead oozed and dripped

Lavern08
08-26-2011, 06:49 PM
The creepiest story I know
is the one about Six Fingered Joe
He crept in the crypt
where the dead oozed and dripped
And slept with a woman named Flo.

Now Joe was a very big fella

iLion
08-26-2011, 08:29 PM
Now Joe was a very big fella
He's the guy who married Cruella

Nymtoc
08-26-2011, 08:44 PM
Now Joe was a very big fella
He's the guy who married Cruella
They dined on Dalmatian

Pthom
08-26-2011, 09:19 PM
Now Joe was a very big fella
He's the guy who married Cruella
They dined on Dalmatian
With rabid elation

Lavern08
08-26-2011, 09:53 PM
Now Joe was a very big fella
He's the guy who married Cruella
They dined on Dalmatian
With rabid elation
While watching the movie Old Yella

This hurricane's making me skittish

Nymtoc
08-27-2011, 02:00 AM
This hurricane's making me skittish
I'll run from it lickety-splittish

MidlifeMark
08-27-2011, 03:30 AM
This hurricane's making me skittish
I'll run from it lickety-splittish
Wet, windy, and dark

Nymtoc
08-27-2011, 07:51 AM
This hurricane's making me skittish
I'll run from it lickety-splittish
Wet, windy, and dark
Should I build an ark?

Pthom
08-27-2011, 11:21 AM
This hurricane's making me skittish
I'll run from it lickety-splittish
Wet, windy, and dark
Should I build an ark?
I don't want my socks to get wettish.

I guess we could move to Ohio

MidlifeMark
08-27-2011, 11:25 PM
I guess we could move to Ohio
And then I could say, in my bio:

Matera the Mad
08-28-2011, 02:10 AM
I guess we could move to Ohio
And then I could say, in my bio:
I just changed my state

flyingtart
08-28-2011, 01:33 PM
I guess we could move to Ohio
And then I could say, in my bio:
I just changed my state
But one thing I hate

Nymtoc
08-29-2011, 03:35 AM
I guess we could move to Ohio
And then I could say, in my bio:
I just changed my state
But one thing I hate
Is the way they sing "O Sole My-o."

At last I've discovered a way

Pthom
08-29-2011, 07:03 AM
At last I've discovered a way
To have sex without all that old hay.

flyingtart
08-29-2011, 12:46 PM
At last I've discovered a way
To have sex without all that old hay.
I sit in my closet

Nymtoc
08-29-2011, 08:19 PM
At last I've discovered a way
To have sex without all that old hay.
I sit in my closet
And stay there, because it

iLion
08-30-2011, 08:53 PM
At last I've discovered a way
To have sex without all that old hay.
I sit in my closet
And stay there, because it
Is private, and hides me from Ray

She walked in the room without knocking

Pthom
08-30-2011, 09:18 PM
She walked in the room without knocking
Though her knees to each other were talking.