My favorite, by far, is Montel
That bald top we all know so well
'Zat him on Spin City?
Oh, he look so pretty!
And his self-help books are so . . . swell!
Why is this thread always mislaid?
Are the rhyme leprechauns underpaid?
Should we nail it in place?
Or let it fall in disgrace?
Let's not let it wilt in the shade!
Keep it going, you line-by-line bards!
Tis tough when your brain is in shards
While time is the devil
You must keep that head level
But don't you be pikers, old pards*
We're so glad you learned how to ride
But it's late now: come on back inside
You can't bring the horse
in for dinner, of course
he's Clydesdale, not Bonnie or Clyde...
I'm riding a wave of euphoria
But it won't get me through to Peoria
With the sun in my eyes
and some sand on my thighs
And a floozy who says her name's Gloria
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