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flyingtart
01-06-2011, 11:32 PM
I’m bored’ he declared with a yawn
'and I'm tired of mowing this lawn'
I'll paint it instead
A fine shade of red
Then slumber from dusk until dawn


When old Rip van Winkle awoke

Lavern08
01-06-2011, 11:52 PM
When old Rip van Winkle awoke
He realized he lisp'd when he spoke

Kerlee
01-07-2011, 02:20 AM
When old Rip van Winkle awoke
He realized he lisp'd when he spoke
he fingered his lips

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2011, 12:43 PM
When old Rip van Winkle awoke
He realized he lisp'd when he spoke
he fingered his lips,
put his handth on his hipth

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 01:28 PM
When old Rip van Winkle awoke
He realized he lisp'd when he spoke
he fingered his lips,
put his handth on his hipth
Now what a remarkable bloke!


Please endeavour to keep these lines clean

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2011, 02:07 PM
Please endeavour to keep these lines clean
I really don’t know what you mean

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 02:36 PM
Please endeavour to keep these lines clean
I really don’t know what you mean
The odd innuendo

Apsu
01-07-2011, 02:54 PM
Please endeavour to keep these lines clean
I really don’t know what you mean
The odd innuendo
Poking out-your-end, Oh!

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2011, 03:04 PM
Please endeavour to keep these lines clean
I really don’t know what you mean
The odd innuendo
Poking out-your-end, Oh!
That’s really the worst rhyme I’ve seen.



There was a young lady from Ealing

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 03:11 PM
There was a young lady from Ealing
Who succumbed to a very strange feeling

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2011, 03:24 PM
There was a young lady from Ealing
Who succumbed to a very strange feeling
It was too rude to mention

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 04:26 PM
There was a young lady from Ealing
Who succumbed to a very strange feeling
It was too rude to mention
But caused hypertension

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2011, 05:22 PM
There was a young lady from Ealing
Who succumbed to a very strange feeling
It was too rude to mention
But caused hypertension
and a very large stain on the ceiling


A large and lugubrious Turk

archerjoe
01-07-2011, 06:02 PM
A large and lugubrious Turk
Was ashamed of his delicate quirk

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 06:44 PM
A large and lugubrious Turk
Was ashamed of his delicate quirk
So he kept out of sight

Nymtoc
01-07-2011, 06:59 PM
A large and lugubrious Turk
Was ashamed of his delicate quirk
So he kept out of sight
Except late at night

flyingtart
01-07-2011, 07:01 PM
A large and lugubrious Turk
Was ashamed of his delicate quirk
So he kept out of sight
Except late at night
When he showed it to all with a smirk


She'd repeatedly spurned his advances

oneblindmouse
01-07-2011, 11:47 PM
She repeatedly spurned his advances
While refraining from dinners and dances

Sir_Nigel
01-08-2011, 02:19 AM
She repeatedly spurned his advances
While refraining from dinners and dances
but one bottle of gin

Pthom
01-08-2011, 03:03 AM
She repeatedly spurned his advances
While refraining from dinners and dances
But one bottle of gin
And she said, with a grin:

Kerlee
01-08-2011, 06:17 AM
She repeatedly spurned his advances
While refraining from dinners and dances
But one bottle of gin
And she said, with a grin:
'now I'm suddenly liking your chances'




who said that we must chew the fat

Matera the Mad
01-08-2011, 08:33 AM
Who said that we must chew the fat
I'd like to stomp that idjit flat

flyingtart
01-08-2011, 01:04 PM
Who said that we must chew the fat
I'd like to stomp that idjit flat
It says in the rules

Kerlee
01-08-2011, 03:16 PM
Who said that we must chew the fat
I'd like to stomp that idjit flat
It says in the rules
idjits are just fools

flyingtart
01-09-2011, 04:59 PM
Who said that we must chew the fat
I'd like to stomp that idjit flat
It says in the rules
idjits are just fools
And a pompous one's really a twat


Their love was renowned near and far

oneblindmouse
01-09-2011, 10:44 PM
Their love was renowned near and far
And we drank to their health in the bar

Kerlee
01-10-2011, 05:58 AM
Their love was renowned near and far
And we drank to their health in the bar
the beer tasted bad

Sir_Nigel
01-10-2011, 12:45 PM
Their love was renowned near and far
And we drank to their health in the bar
the beer tasted bad
but what larks we had

Kerlee
01-10-2011, 01:35 PM
Their love was renowned near and far
And we drank to their health in the bar
the beer tasted bad
but what larks we had
when we tied all the cans to the car



a sensible lass in the dark

flyingtart
01-10-2011, 02:25 PM
a sensible lass in the dark
She went for a stroll in the park

oneblindmouse
01-10-2011, 03:50 PM
A sensible lass in the dark
She went for a stroll in the park
Where she met a baboon

flyingtart
01-10-2011, 05:01 PM
A sensible lass in the dark
She went for a stroll in the park
Where she met a baboon
In the light of the moon

Sir_Nigel
01-10-2011, 05:36 PM
A sensible lass in the dark
She went for a stroll in the park
Where she met a baboon
In the light of the moon
Baboon! she was heard to remark


When Geraldine fell down the well

flyingtart
01-10-2011, 06:24 PM
When Geraldine fell down the well
Folks noticed a very queer smell

Sir_Nigel
01-11-2011, 12:56 PM
When Geraldine fell down the well
Folks noticed a very queer smell
They pulled up the bucket

flyingtart
01-11-2011, 02:08 PM
When Geraldine fell down the well
Folks noticed a very queer smell
They pulled up the bucket
Therein found a ducat

Sir_Nigel
01-11-2011, 04:03 PM
When Geraldine fell down the well
folks noticed a very queer smell
They pulled up the bucket
Therein found a ducat,
her corpse and an old leper’s bell!



'It wobbles a bit' he complained

Nymtoc
01-11-2011, 06:32 PM
'It wobbles a bit' he complained
'It's got to be better maintained.'

flyingtart
01-11-2011, 06:36 PM
'It wobbles a bit' he complained
'It's got to be better maintained.'
So he screwed it so tight

Preacher'sWife
01-11-2011, 06:51 PM
'It wobbles a bit' he complained
'It's got to be better maintained.'
So he screwed it so tight
That it snapped and took flight

iLion
01-11-2011, 07:17 PM
'It wobbles a bit' he complained.
'It's got to be better maintained.'
So he screwed it so tight
That it snapped and took flight
Into Paradise, now unrestrained.

My dog took the car for a drive

Nymtoc
01-11-2011, 10:06 PM
My dog took the car for a drive
And sped along Interstate 5

flyingtart
01-11-2011, 10:57 PM
My dog took the car for a drive
And sped along Interstate 5
But he spotted a cat

iLion
01-12-2011, 12:54 AM
My dog took the car for a drive
And sped along Interstate 5
But he spotted a cat
He swerved and *kersplat!*

Nymtoc
01-12-2011, 12:57 AM
My dog took the car for a drive
And sped along Interstate 5
But he spotted a cat
He swerved and *kersplat!*
But the cat (with nine lives) did survive.

What happened ten minutes ago

iLion
01-12-2011, 02:47 AM
What happened ten minutes ago
After eating that old yellow snow

Preacher'sWife
01-12-2011, 06:57 AM
What happened ten minutes ago
After eating that old yellow snow
Would make you turn green

Sir_Nigel
01-12-2011, 02:08 PM
What happened ten minutes ago
After eating that old yellow snow
Would make you turn green
like a month old sardine

flyingtart
01-12-2011, 02:16 PM
What happened ten minutes ago
After eating that old yellow snow
Would make you turn green
like a month old sardine
With its shoelaces tied in a bow


I never knew sardines wore shoes

Sir_Nigel
01-12-2011, 03:13 PM
I never knew sardines wore shoes
but these very strong drugs that I use

Nymtoc
01-12-2011, 05:11 PM
I never knew sardines wore shoes
but these very strong drugs that I use
Are making me think

archerjoe
01-12-2011, 05:54 PM
I never knew sardines wore shoes
but these very strong drugs that I use
Are making me think
Can nightcrawlers blink?

iLion
01-12-2011, 08:51 PM
I never knew sardines wore shoes
but these very strong drugs that I use
Are making me think
Can nightcrawlers blink?
And why is that lamp singing blues?


Some writers appear to have quirks

flyingtart
01-12-2011, 10:38 PM
Some writers appear to have quirks
And some of them act complete jerks

Nymtoc
01-12-2011, 10:59 PM
Some writers appear to have quirks
And some of them act complete jerks
Still others are mopes

Kerlee
01-13-2011, 03:30 AM
Some writers appear to have quirks
And some of them act complete jerks
Still others are mopes
on slippery slopes

Matera the Mad
01-13-2011, 08:12 AM
Some writers appear to have quirks
And some of them act complete jerks
Still others are mopes
on slippery slopes
Always whining about lack of perks

Chronic slushpile inhabitants all

Sir_Nigel
01-13-2011, 12:42 PM
Chronic slushpile inhabitants all
they were lined up at dawn by the wall

flyingtart
01-13-2011, 02:04 PM
Chronic slushpile inhabitants all
they were lined up at dawn by the wall
The shots rang out

Apsu
01-13-2011, 02:34 PM
Chronic slushpile inhabitants all
they were lined up at dawn by the wall
The shots rang out
And without doubt

Sir_Nigel
01-13-2011, 03:08 PM
Chronic slushpile inhabitants all
they were lined up at dawn by the wall
The shots rang out
And without doubt
this was harsh but the outcry was small.


But now on a much lighter note

flyingtart
01-13-2011, 04:03 PM
But now on a much lighter note
It is time to start acting the goat

Sir_Nigel
01-14-2011, 12:46 PM
But now on a much lighter note
It is time to start acting the goat
So don your belled cap

LaceWing
01-14-2011, 12:50 PM
But now on a much lighter note
It is time to start acting the goat
So don your belled cap
and crank up the rap

flyingtart
01-14-2011, 01:24 PM
But now on a much lighter note
It is time to start acting the goat
So don your belled cap
and crank up the rap
And set sail on this raucous boat


A sex-starved hill-walker called Clive

Sir_Nigel
01-14-2011, 02:34 PM
A sex-starved hill-walker called Clive
climbed two peaks for a well earned high five

flyingtart
01-14-2011, 03:24 PM
A sex-starved hill-walker called Clive
climbed two peaks for a well earned high five
He spotted a yak

Nymtoc
01-14-2011, 04:23 PM
A sex-starved hill-walker called Clive
climbed two peaks for a well earned high five
He spotted a yak
And climbed on its back

iLion
01-14-2011, 05:19 PM
A sex-starved hill-walker called Clive
climbed two peaks for a well earned high five
He spotted a yak
And climbed on its back
But the yak was wanting no jive!

So our sex hungry hero moved on

Sir_Nigel
01-14-2011, 06:37 PM
So our sex hungry hero moved on
to an old tart he knew named Yvonne

LaceWing
01-14-2011, 07:16 PM
So our sex hungry hero moved on
to an old tart he knew named Yvonne
who doffed cap and gown

iLion
01-14-2011, 07:57 PM
So our sex hungry hero moved on
to an old tart he knew named Yvonne,
who doffed cap and gown;
Said "Let's go to town!"

Nymtoc
01-14-2011, 10:46 PM
So our sex hungry hero moved on
to an old tart he knew named Yvonne,
who doffed cap and gown;
Said "Let's go to town!"
And soon all his troubles were gone.

I awoke to a very strange sight

Albedo of Zero
01-14-2011, 11:12 PM
I awoke to a very strange sight
Quite odd due to complete lack of light

archerjoe
01-14-2011, 11:18 PM
I awoke to a very strange sight
Quite odd due to complete lack of light
Oh boy, did it glow!

flyingtart
01-14-2011, 11:20 PM
I awoke to a very strange sight
Quite odd due to complete lack of light
Oh boy, did it glow!
And it just goes to show

Nymtoc
01-15-2011, 03:36 PM
I awoke to a very strange sight
Quite odd due to complete lack of light
Oh boy, did it glow!
And it just goes to show
This limerick turned out all right.

Miss Mulligan cooked up a stew

iLion
01-15-2011, 03:59 PM
Miss Mulligan cooked up a stew
And added a pint of fine brew

flyingtart
01-15-2011, 04:08 PM
Miss Mulligan cooked up a stew
And added a pint of fine brew
She stirred it for hours

iLion
01-15-2011, 04:16 PM
Miss Mulligan cooked up a stew
And added a pint of fine brew
She stirred it for hours
Mixed in some red flowers

flyingtart
01-15-2011, 04:55 PM
Miss Mulligan cooked up a stew
And added a pint of fine brew
She stirred it for hours
Mixed in some red flowers
Why'd she bother? I haven't a clue!


Intent on achieving his aim

iLion
01-15-2011, 06:29 PM
Intent on achieving his aim
His arrow now cocked and aflame

flyingtart
01-15-2011, 11:34 PM
Intent on achieving his aim
His arrow now cocked and aflame
He fired with zeal

iLion
01-16-2011, 03:53 AM
Intent on achieving his aim
His arrow now cocked and aflame
He fired with zeal
Deep down she could feel

flyingtart
01-16-2011, 01:17 PM
Intent on achieving his aim
His arrow now cocked and aflame
He fired with zeal
Deep down she could feel
That he was living up to his name


A corpulent banker called Hans

Nymtoc
01-16-2011, 04:29 PM
A corpulent banker called Hans
Decided to buy some Cezannes

archerjoe
01-16-2011, 08:35 PM
A corpulent banker called Hans
Decided to buy some Cezannes
At Christie's he bid

iLion
01-16-2011, 10:49 PM
A corpulent banker called Hans
Decided to buy some Cezannes
At Christie's he bid
Twenty five quid

Nymtoc
01-16-2011, 10:57 PM
A corpulent banker called Hans
Decided to buy some Cezannes
At Christie's he bid
Twenty five quid
A laughably meager response.

This year we'll see startling events

flyingtart
01-16-2011, 11:10 PM
This year we'll see startling events
Like millionaires living in tents

Nymtoc
01-17-2011, 12:19 AM
This year we'll see startling events
Like millionaires living in tents
But I'd like to see

Matera the Mad
01-17-2011, 03:40 AM
This year we'll see startling events
Like millionaires living in tents
But I'd like to see
Something nice come to me

flyingtart
01-17-2011, 03:09 PM
This year we'll see startling events
Like millionaires living in tents
But I'd like to see
Something nice come to me
Like lodgers all paying their rents


He told her to get off his lawn

Sir_Nigel
01-17-2011, 03:53 PM
He told her to get off his lawn
and stop blowing that bloody French Horn

flyingtart
01-17-2011, 05:00 PM
He told her to get off his lawn
and stop blowing that bloody French Horn
So off she went

Nymtoc
01-17-2011, 05:30 PM
He told her to get off his lawn
and stop blowing that bloody French Horn
So off she went
But did not repent

archerjoe
01-17-2011, 09:08 PM
He told her to get off his lawn
and stop blowing that bloody French Horn
So off she went
But did not repent
And came back with a tuba at dawn

Poor Michael's unlucky in love

iLion
01-17-2011, 11:21 PM
Poor Michael's unlucky in love,
His nose is as big as a glove

flyingtart
01-17-2011, 11:34 PM
Poor Michael's unlucky in love,
His nose is as big as a glove
The ladies he meets

iLion
01-18-2011, 03:44 AM
Poor Michael's unlucky in love,
His nose is as big as a glove
The ladies he meets
Prefer to have sweets

Nymtoc
01-18-2011, 03:53 AM
Poor Michael's unlucky in love,
His nose is as big as a glove
The ladies he meets
Prefer to have sweets
Instead of what he's thinking of.

Belinda had too many beaux

iLion
01-18-2011, 04:09 AM
Belinda had too many beaux
They all made her wiggle her toes

Sir_Nigel
01-18-2011, 02:19 PM
Belinda had too many beaux
They all made her wiggle her toes
Her wiggling display

flyingtart
01-18-2011, 02:25 PM
Belinda had too many beaux
They all made her wiggle her toes
Her wiggling display
Sure helped pass the day

Sir_Nigel
01-18-2011, 03:27 PM
Belinda had too many beaux
They all made her wiggle her toes
Her wiggling display
Sure helped pass the day
and her toe obsessed audience grows


And she had a good trick with her thumb

Nymtoc
01-18-2011, 03:52 PM
And she had a good trick with her thumb
She used it to play a bass drum

flyingtart
01-18-2011, 04:15 PM
And she had a good trick with her thumb
She used it to play a bass drum
Then stuck five bob bits

iLion
01-18-2011, 04:45 PM
And she had a good trick with her thumb
She used it to play a bass drum
Then stuck five bob bits
Neatly under her tits (I mean c'mon.. it nearly wrote itself.)

Sir_Nigel
01-18-2011, 05:29 PM
And she had a good trick with her thumb
She used it to play a bass drum
Then stuck five bob bits
Neatly under her tits (I mean c'mon.. it nearly wrote itself.)
and I’ll avoid smut, unlike some.


There once was a fun-loving nanny

flyingtart
01-18-2011, 06:22 PM
There once was a fun-loving nanny
Who was known for being thrifty and canny

Sir_Nigel
01-19-2011, 12:48 PM
There once was a fun-loving nanny
Who was known for being thrifty and canny
She was so parsimonious

Nymtoc
01-19-2011, 02:00 PM
There once was a fun-loving nanny
Who was known for being thrifty and canny
She was so parsimonious
It was felonious

flyingtart
01-19-2011, 03:00 PM
There once was a fun-loving nanny
Who was known for being thrifty and canny
She was so parsimonious
It was felonious
When she high kicked she fell on her fanny


"Please stop all this frivolous banter!"

Sir_Nigel
01-19-2011, 03:21 PM
"Please stop all this frivolous banter!
The Yankees are burning Atlanta!”

Nymtoc
01-19-2011, 07:59 PM
"Please stop all this frivolous banter!
The Yankees are burning Atlanta!Ē
"Oh, fiddle-dee-dee!

flyingtart
01-19-2011, 08:21 PM
"Please stop all this frivolous banter!
The Yankees are burning Atlanta!”
"Oh, fiddle-dee-dee!"
Said Mrs Dupree

iLion
01-19-2011, 10:14 PM
"Please stop all this frivolous banter!
The Yankees are burning Atlanta!”
"Oh, fiddle-dee-dee!"
Said Mrs Dupree
"And I don't give a damn about Santa."

Some limericks don't make sense at all

Sir_Nigel
01-20-2011, 12:54 PM
Some limericks don't make sense at all
Fair point but that line will appall

flyingtart
01-20-2011, 01:35 PM
Some limericks don't make sense at all
Fair point but that line will appall
You do need the sense

Nymtoc
01-20-2011, 02:02 PM
Some limericks don't make sense at all
Fair point but that line will appall
You do need the sense
That one's mind is not dense

iLion
01-20-2011, 04:31 PM
Some limericks don't make sense at all.
Fair point, but that line will appall.
You do need the sense,
That one's mind is not dense.
Tho' goofy will sometimes enthrall.

I'm so tired of shoveling snow

flyingtart
01-20-2011, 04:42 PM
I'm so tired of shoveling snow
And there's one thing that I'd like to know

Matera the Mad
01-21-2011, 05:03 AM
I'm so tired of shoveling snow
And there's one thing that I'd like to know
Why, if each flake's unique

Sir_Nigel
01-21-2011, 12:28 PM
I'm so tired of shoveling snow
And there's one thing that I'd like to know
Why, if each flake's unique
I saw this one last week

flyingtart
01-21-2011, 01:28 PM
I'm so tired of shoveling snow
And there's one thing that I'd like to know
Why, if each flake's unique
I saw this one last week
That looked just like old Russell Crowe!


The Kindle is really the rage

Sir_Nigel
01-21-2011, 03:48 PM
The Kindle is really the rage
But just not for me at this stage

flyingtart
01-21-2011, 04:10 PM
The Kindle is really the rage
But just not for me at this stage
I can't figure out

Nymtoc
01-21-2011, 05:02 PM
The Kindle is really the rage
But just not for me at this stage
I can't figure out
What it's all about

flyingtart
01-21-2011, 11:30 PM
The Kindle is really the rage
But just not for me at this stage
I can't figure out
What it's all about
Technology I can't engage


"Look out!" Cried the hoary old gun

MidlifeMark
01-22-2011, 01:33 AM
"Look out!" Cried the hoary old gun
When the cop set his taser on stun.

oneblindmouse
01-22-2011, 02:50 AM
"Look out!" Cried the hoary old gun
When the cop set his taser on stun.
"This is going to hurt!

Nightfly
01-22-2011, 01:28 PM
"Look out!" Cried the hoary old gun.
When the cop set his taser on stun.
"This is going to hurt!
Help yourself to some dirt."

flyingtart
01-22-2011, 03:30 PM
"Look out!" Cried the hoary old gun.
When the cop set his taser on stun.
"This is going to hurt!
Help yourself to some dirt."
Then he killed him stone dead just for fun.


When Julia wrote her memoir

Nymtoc
01-22-2011, 03:46 PM
When Julia wrote her memoir
The critics said she went too far

flyingtart
01-22-2011, 04:47 PM
When Julia wrote her memoir
The critics said she went too far
It was indiscreet

MidlifeMark
01-22-2011, 05:14 PM
When Julia wrote her memoir
The critics said she went too far
It was indiscreet
And far too complete

iLion
01-22-2011, 06:44 PM
When Julia wrote her memoir
The critics said she went too far
It was indiscreet
And far too complete
yet readers all clamoring are.

"I love you", he said to his gal

Nymtoc
01-22-2011, 10:58 PM
"I love you", he said to his gal
As she locked him up in the corral

flyingtart
01-22-2011, 11:00 PM
"I love you", he said to his gal
As she locked him up in the corral
So he screamed for an hour

slcboston
01-23-2011, 12:47 AM
"I love you", he said to his gal
As she locked him up in the corral
So he screamed for an hour
While she pondered the flowers

iLion
01-23-2011, 01:54 AM
"I love you", he said to his gal
As she locked him up in the corral
So he screamed for an hour
While she pondered the flowers
Then revealed 'her' name to be Cal.

If love makes the world go 'round,

Kerlee
01-23-2011, 06:04 AM
If love makes the world go 'round,
we should all pay by the pound

Nymtoc
01-23-2011, 10:46 AM
If love makes the world go 'round,
we should all pay by the pound
But isn't love free?

Albedo of Zero
01-23-2011, 11:48 AM
If love makes the world go 'round,
we should all pay by the pound
But isn't love free?
You're asking me?

Kerlee
01-23-2011, 12:56 PM
If love makes the world go 'round,
we should all pay by the pound
But isn't love free?
You're asking me
when marriage'll cost you a mound!



a little hiccup came to stay

flyingtart
01-23-2011, 04:18 PM
a little hiccup came to stay
And he made me feel terribly gay

Nymtoc
01-23-2011, 10:14 PM
A little hiccup came to stay
And he made me feel terribly gay
I skip down the lane

flyingtart
01-23-2011, 11:31 PM
A little hiccup came to stay
And he made me feel terribly gay
I skip down the lane
As if I'm insane

iLion
01-24-2011, 12:18 AM
A little hiccup came to stay
And he made me feel terribly gay
I skip down the lane
As if I'm insane
And people stay out of my way.

The British are crazy for tea

Nymtoc
01-24-2011, 07:13 PM
The British are crazy for tea
They're tea-obsessed as they can be

Sir_Nigel
01-25-2011, 12:33 PM
The British are crazy for tea
They're tea-obsessed as they can be
And alcohol too

flyingtart
01-25-2011, 03:53 PM
The British are crazy for tea
They're tea-obsessed as they can be
And alcohol too
Will most surely do

Sir_Nigel
01-25-2011, 05:28 PM
The British are crazy for tea
They're tea- obsessed as they can be
And alcohol too
Will most surely do
but it’s tea, tea for tea-obsessed me.


Yep tea is a marvellous beverage

Nymtoc
01-25-2011, 06:23 PM
Yep tea is a marvellous beverage
It gives me emotional leverage

flyingtart
01-25-2011, 07:28 PM
Yep tea is a marvellous beverage
It gives me emotional leverage
It boosts my esteem

iLion
01-25-2011, 09:49 PM
Yep tea is a marvellous beverage
It gives me emotional leverage
It boosts my esteem
Tho sometimes I scream

Nymtoc
01-25-2011, 09:58 PM
Yep tea is a marvellous beverage
It gives me emotional leverage
It boosts my esteem
Tho sometimes I scream
For help from my good buddy Severidge.

Now, others say coffee's the thing

iLion
01-25-2011, 10:24 PM
Now, others say coffee's the thing;
But me, I prefer a good sting.

Sir_Nigel
01-26-2011, 12:39 PM
Now, others say coffee's the thing;
But me, I prefer a good sting.
When I jump in a hive

flyingtart
01-26-2011, 04:19 PM
Now, others say coffee's the thing;
But me, I prefer a good sting.
When I jump in a hive
The busy bees strive

Sir_Nigel
01-26-2011, 05:24 PM
Now, others say coffee's the thing;
But me, I prefer a good sting.
When I jump in a hive
The busy bees strive
to provide a good ring a ding ding



They bowed to the mighty Wazir

Nymtoc
01-26-2011, 06:19 PM
They bowed to the mighty Wazir
Although they were quaking with fear

flyingtart
01-26-2011, 06:21 PM
They bowed to the mighty Wazir
Although they were quaking with fear
But what caught his eye

iLion
01-26-2011, 09:43 PM
They bowed to the mighty Wazir
Although they were quaking with fear
But what caught his eye
Was a young butterfly

Nymtoc
01-26-2011, 10:12 PM
They bowed to the mighty Wazir
Although they were quaking with fear
But what caught his eye
Was a young butterfly
That was laying its eggs in his ear.

"Eureka!" exclaimed the inventor

Jon Rowlison
01-26-2011, 10:23 PM
"Eureka!" exclaimed the inventor
When he met his friend at the center

flyingtart
01-26-2011, 10:32 PM
"Eureka!" exclaimed the inventor
When he met his friend at the center
"I now know just how

Nymtoc
01-27-2011, 02:48 AM
"Eureka!" exclaimed the inventor
When he met his friend at the center
"I now know just how,
With my virtual cow,

archerjoe
01-27-2011, 04:32 AM
"Eureka!" exclaimed the inventor
When he met his friend at the center
"I now know just how,
With my virtual cow,
I'll never again be a renter!"

Virtual milk's the rage around here

flyingtart
01-27-2011, 01:55 PM
Virtual milk's the rage around here
But don't put it in virtual beer

Sir_Nigel
01-28-2011, 02:05 PM
Virtual milk's the rage around here
But don't put it in virtual beer
I don’t understand

flyingtart
01-28-2011, 02:35 PM
Virtual milk's the rage around here
But don't put it in virtual beer
I don’t understand
Why it doesn't come canned

Sir_Nigel
01-28-2011, 02:47 PM
Virtual milk's the rage around here
But don't put it in virtual beer
I don’t understand
Why it doesn't come canned
‘But one day it shall’ said the seer


The cops came and took him away

Matera the Mad
01-28-2011, 04:07 PM
The cops came and took him away
But his influence is here to stay

flyingtart
01-28-2011, 04:49 PM
The cops came and took him away
But his influence is here to stay
His ten thousand fans

Sir_Nigel
01-28-2011, 05:07 PM
The cops came and took him away
But his influence is here to stay
His ten thousand fans
do his mad chicken dance

Matera the Mad
01-28-2011, 05:44 PM
The cops came and took him away
But his influence is here to stay
His ten thousand fans
do his mad chicken dance
And leap over ten bales of hay

If I had my druthers this morning

MidlifeMark
01-28-2011, 05:57 PM
If I had my druthers this morning
I'd fly to Elmira and Corning

Sir_Nigel
01-28-2011, 06:15 PM
If I had my druthers this morning
I'd fly to Elmira and Corning
I’d flangle my grobblers

flyingtart
01-28-2011, 06:19 PM
If I had my druthers this morning
I'd fly to Elmira and Corning
I’d flangle my grobblers
To several cobblers

Matera the Mad
01-28-2011, 06:31 PM
If I had my druthers this morning
I'd fly to Elmira and Corning
I’d flangle my grobblers
To several cobblers
And all my self-doubt'd die a-borning

I once had a friend who sold Amway

flyingtart
01-29-2011, 02:51 PM
I once had a friend who sold Amway
From his boot down the docks by the tramway

MidlifeMark
01-29-2011, 06:44 PM
I once had a friend who sold Amway
From his boot down the docks by the tramway
But one day he lost hope

flyingtart
01-29-2011, 08:17 PM
I once had a friend who sold Amway
From his boot down the docks by the tramway
But one day he lost hope
Felt he just couldn't cope

Nymtoc
01-29-2011, 11:02 PM
I once had a friend who sold Amway
From his boot down the docks by the tramway
But one day he lost hope
Felt he just couldn't cope
With a scheme that was really a sham way.

When Marie wore her polka-dot dress

flyingtart
01-29-2011, 11:07 PM
When Marie wore her polka-dot dress
She believed she was bound to impress

Kerlee
01-30-2011, 02:45 AM
When Marie wore her polka-dot dress
She believed she was bound to impress
with cleavage on show

flyingtart
01-30-2011, 05:40 PM
When Marie wore her polka-dot dress
She believed she was bound to impress
with cleavage on show
Admirers would go

MidlifeMark
01-30-2011, 06:20 PM
When Marie wore her polka-dot dress
She believed she was bound to impress
with cleavage on show
Admirers would go
And desist only under duress.

The snow's nearly up to my tush

flyingtart
01-30-2011, 06:52 PM
The snow's nearly up to my tush
And the wildlife hide under a bush

Nymtoc
01-30-2011, 08:43 PM
The snow's nearly up to my tush
And the wildlife hide under a bush
I'm starting to fear

MidlifeMark
01-31-2011, 01:44 AM
The snow's nearly up to my tush
And the wildlife hide under a bush
I'm starting to fear
Now that winter is here

Matera the Mad
01-31-2011, 07:23 AM
The snow's nearly up to my tush
And the wildlife hide under a bush
I'm starting to fear
Now that winter is here
My muse will freeze up and not gush

But if writer's block grabs by the short hairs

Nymtoc
01-31-2011, 07:29 AM
But if writer's block grabs the short hairs
The scribbler quite often despairs

Sir_Nigel
01-31-2011, 12:50 PM
But if writer's block grabs the short hairs
The scribbler quite often despairs
This mind constipation

flyingtart
01-31-2011, 03:38 PM
But if writer's block grabs the short hairs
The scribbler quite often despairs
This mind constipation
Causes much consternation

Sir_Nigel
01-31-2011, 05:36 PM
But if writer's block grabs the short hairs
The scribbler quite often despairs
This mind constipation
Causes much consternation
with the…something.. and ….DAMMIT WHO CARES?


It’s life Jim but not as we know it

Nymtoc
01-31-2011, 05:47 PM
Itís life Jim but not as we know it
We're bonkers but better not show it.

flyingtart
01-31-2011, 06:49 PM
It’s life Jim but not as we know it
We're bonkers but better not show it.
Let's hide by this rock

MidlifeMark
02-01-2011, 06:15 AM
It’s life Jim but not as we know it
We're bonkers but better not show it.
Let's hide by this rock
And stare at the clock

Nymtoc
02-01-2011, 09:26 AM
Itís life Jim but not as we know it
We're bonkers but better not show it.
Let's hide by this rock
And stare at the clock
I'll pick up the rock and you throw it.

A leprechaun came here one day

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2011, 12:59 PM
A leprechaun came here one day
with a gnome he’d picked up on the way

flyingtart
02-01-2011, 03:00 PM
A leprechaun came here one day
with a gnome he’d picked up on the way
His Blarney Stone kiss

MidlifeMark
02-01-2011, 03:52 PM
A leprechaun came here one day
with a gnome he’d picked up on the way
His Blarney Stone kiss
Was delivered with bliss

flyingtart
02-01-2011, 04:28 PM
A leprechaun came here one day
with a gnome he’d picked up on the way
His Blarney Stone kiss
Was delivered with bliss
And of course he had plenty to say


In Stalingrad, General Munch

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2011, 05:22 PM
In Stalingrad, General Munch
was felled by a shot putter’s punch

Nymtoc
02-01-2011, 07:40 PM
In Stalingrad, General Munch
was felled by a shot putterís punch
The onlookers cheered

flyingtart
02-01-2011, 08:11 PM
In Stalingrad, General Munch
was felled by a shot putter’s punch
The onlookers cheered
But Muscovites sneered

Sir_Nigel
02-02-2011, 02:35 PM
In Stalingrad, General Munch
was felled by a shot putter’s punch
The onlookers cheered
But Muscovites sneered
crying ‘Oooh! what a sickening crunch’


He found a small hole in the floor

flyingtart
02-02-2011, 02:58 PM
He found a small hole in the floor
Which led to an underground store

Nymtoc
02-02-2011, 05:38 PM
He found a small hole in the floor
Which led to an underground store
It was run by a troll

Sir_Nigel
02-02-2011, 07:01 PM
He found a small hole in the floor
Which led to an underground store
It was run by a troll
selling barbecued mole

flyingtart
02-03-2011, 01:41 PM
He found a small hole in the floor
Which led to an underground store
It was run by a troll
selling barbecued mole
And I cannot say anything more.


The prisoner stepped up to the block

archerjoe
02-03-2011, 09:12 PM
The prisoner stepped up to the block
And eyed the crowd coming to gawk

iLion
02-03-2011, 09:53 PM
The prisoner stepped up to the block
And eyed the crowd coming to gawk
"To Hell with you all!"

Nymtoc
02-03-2011, 10:31 PM
The prisoner stepped up to the block
And eyed the crowd coming to gawk
"To Hell with you all!
When you see my head fall

archerjoe
02-04-2011, 05:30 AM
The prisoner stepped up to the block
And eyed the crowd coming to gawk
"To Hell with you all!
When you see my head fall
I'll leave this cruel world with a shock.

There once was a man from Decatur

Nymtoc
02-04-2011, 07:08 AM
There once was a man from Decatur
Who sailed on a sinister freighter

iLion
02-04-2011, 07:35 AM
There once was a man from Decatur
Who sailed on a sinister freighter
The cargo was death

Sir_Nigel
02-04-2011, 12:46 PM
There once was a man from Decatur
Who sailed on a sinister freighter
The cargo was death
and a fat bloke called Seth

flyingtart
02-04-2011, 01:10 PM
There once was a man from Decatur
Who sailed on a sinister freighter
The cargo was death
and a fat bloke called Seth
Was hired as its faux navigator


In moments of worry and stress

Sir_Nigel
02-04-2011, 02:15 PM
In moments of worry and stress
he would put on a polka dot dress

flyingtart
02-04-2011, 06:24 PM
In moments of worry and stress
he would put on a polka dot dress
And prance round the town

Sir_Nigel
02-04-2011, 06:40 PM
In moments of worry and stress
he would put on a polka dot dress
And prance round the town
with a like-minded clown

Nymtoc
02-04-2011, 07:44 PM
In moments of worry and stress
he would put on a polka dot dress
And prance round the town
with a like-minded clown
Why they bothered is anyone's guess.

A monster lives under my bed

flyingtart
02-04-2011, 08:42 PM
A monster lives under my bed
At least that's what Grandfather said

archerjoe
02-04-2011, 08:59 PM
A monster lives under my bed
At least that's what Grandfather said
It eats the odd sock

iLion
02-04-2011, 10:15 PM
A monster lives under my bed
At least that's what Grandfather said
It eats the odd sock
At eleven o'clock

MidlifeMark
02-04-2011, 11:08 PM
A monster lives under my bed
At least that's what Grandfather said
It eats the odd sock
At eleven o'clock
And at midnight rolls over, quite dead.

There once was a girl from Gibraltar

flyingtart
02-04-2011, 11:42 PM
There once was a girl from Gibraltar
Determined to get to the altar

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 02:51 AM
There once was a girl from Gibraltar
Determined to get to the altar
But somehow, enroute,

oneblindmouse
02-05-2011, 03:42 AM
There once was a girl from Gibraltar
Determined to get to the altar
But somehow, enroute,
She met King Canute

Nymtoc
02-05-2011, 04:03 AM
There once was a girl from Gibraltar
Determined to get to the altar
But somehow, enroute,
She met King Canute
Who took her away in a halter.

Jill went for a ride on a trolley

Pthom
02-05-2011, 04:31 AM
Jill went for a ride on a trolley
Bill said, "I think, darlin', that's folly!"

Kerlee
02-05-2011, 04:44 AM
Jill went for a ride on a trolley
Bill said, "I think, darlin', that's folly!"
the wheel hit a ditch

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 06:38 AM
Jill went for a ride on a trolley
Bill said, "I think, darlin', that's folly!"
the wheel hit a ditch
the trolley did pitch

flyingtart
02-05-2011, 07:05 PM
Jill went for a ride on a trolley
Bill said, "I think, darlin', that's folly!"
the wheel hit a ditch
the trolley did pitch
And she landed in Kansas, by Golly!


Writing her book was a calling

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 07:17 PM
Writing her book was a calling
But her editor's comments were galling.

iLion
02-05-2011, 08:54 PM
Writing her book was a calling
But her editor's comments were galling.
She loaded her gun

flyingtart
02-05-2011, 09:12 PM
Writing her book was a calling
But her editor's comments were galling.
She loaded her gun
And then, just for fun

iLion
02-05-2011, 09:26 PM
Writing her book was a calling
But her editor's comments were galling.
She loaded her gun
And then, just for fun
Forced him to fix all her scrawling.

She only could type with her toes

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 09:39 PM
She only could type with her toes
The pages, she turned with her nose

flyingtart
02-05-2011, 10:41 PM
She only could type with her toes
The pages, she turned with her nose
And the page at the front

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 10:45 PM
She only could type with her toes
The pages, she turned with her nose
And the page at the front
Took a daredevil stunt

Nymtoc
02-05-2011, 10:58 PM
She only could type with her toes
The pages, she turned with her nose
And the page at the front
Took a daredevil stunt
Yet she still thinks she smells like a rose.

Some hooligan stole my left shoe

MidlifeMark
02-05-2011, 11:16 PM
Some hooligan stole my left shoe
And filled it with fresh doggie doo

slcboston
02-06-2011, 01:53 AM
Some hooligan stole my left shoe
And filled it with fresh doggie doo
But the joke is on him

MidlifeMark
02-06-2011, 02:11 AM
Some hooligan stole my left shoe
And filled it with fresh doggie doo
But the joke is on him
'Cause he just lost a limb

flyingtart
02-06-2011, 04:52 PM
Some hooligan stole my left shoe
And filled it with fresh doggie doo
But the joke is on him
'Cause he just lost a limb
When he cooked his arm in a beef stew.


"Please tell me, my darling Nanette

MidlifeMark
02-06-2011, 07:48 PM
"Please tell me, my darling Nanette
Why is it you always forget