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MidlifeMark
11-05-2010, 10:00 PM
When Nell went to swim in the lake
She was eyed up-and-down by young Jake
That randy cow poke
was thinkin' "breaststroke!"
And poor Nell was thinking, "mistake!"

The Slovaks are fond of pirohi

iLion
11-06-2010, 12:29 AM
The Slovaks are fond of pirohi
and Mexicans love their frijole

StephanieFox
11-06-2010, 12:57 AM
The Slovaks are fond of pirohi
and Mexicans love their frijole
But it ain't haute cuisine

donroc
11-06-2010, 03:27 AM
The Slovaks are fond of pirohi
and Mexicans love their frijole
But it ain't haute cuisine
Said a snarky Beguine

StephanieFox
11-06-2010, 03:36 AM
The Slovaks are fond of pirohi
and Mexicans love their frijole
But it ain't haute cuisine
Said a snarky Beguine
If you come down with bloody e-coli*

*Yes, yes, I know that you have to mispronounce the name of the intestinal disease mentioned here, but I couldn't help myself.


The banks have foreclosed on my shack

Pthom
11-06-2010, 04:16 AM
The banks have foreclosed on my shack
And they tore down the outhouse out back

donroc
11-06-2010, 05:15 AM
The banks have foreclosed on my shack
And they tore down the outhouse out back
While gandma still sat

Nymtoc
11-06-2010, 09:08 AM
The banks have foreclosed on my shack
And they tore down the outhouse out back
While gandma still sat
In her hen-feathered hat

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 01:29 PM
The banks have foreclosed on my shack
And they tore down the outhouse out back
While gandma still sat
In her hen-feathered hat
Now, all that remains is a plaque.

I chat with my daughter on Skype

flyingtart
11-06-2010, 02:55 PM
I chat with my daughter on Skype
And give my computer a wipe

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 03:34 PM
I chat with my daughter on Skype
And give my computer a wipe
All this technology

donroc
11-06-2010, 04:40 PM
I chat with my daughter on Skype
And give my computer a wipe
All this technology
Makes me say,Golly-gee!"

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 06:11 PM
I chat with my daughter on Skype
And give my computer a wipe
All this technology
Makes me say,Golly-gee!"
It really lives up to the hype!

If an elephant moved in next door

archerjoe
11-06-2010, 06:16 PM
If an elephant moved in next door
It would increase the number to four

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 06:20 PM
If an elephant moved in next door
It would increase the number to four
I'm afraid that the smell

flyingtart
11-06-2010, 06:21 PM
If an elephant moved in next door
It would increase the number to four
I'm afraid that the smell
Would make my wife raise hell

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 08:04 PM
If an elephant moved in next door
It would increase the number to four
I'm afraid that the smell
Would make my wife raise hell
(a condition that I would deplore).

Eight drunk monkeys went out on the town

Nymtoc
11-06-2010, 08:19 PM
Eight drunk monkeys went out on the town
Four wore fezzes, three kilts, one a gown

donroc
11-06-2010, 09:41 PM
Eight drunk monkeys went out on the town
Four wore fezzes, three kilts, one a gown
They rode in Cash Cab

archerjoe
11-06-2010, 10:03 PM
Eight drunk monkeys went out on the town
Four wore fezzes, three kilts, one a gown
They rode in Cash Cab
Ran up a big tab

flyingtart
11-06-2010, 10:55 PM
Eight drunk monkeys went out on the town
Four wore fezzes, three kilts, one a gown
They rode in Cash Cab
Ran up a big tab
Drinking scotch till they nearly did drown.


In Cuba the ladies wear furs

archerjoe
11-06-2010, 11:04 PM
In Cuba the ladies wear furs
In spite of the absence of brrrrs

MidlifeMark
11-06-2010, 11:08 PM
In Cuba the ladies wear furs
In spite of the absence of brrrrs
And the men often wonder

iLion
11-07-2010, 12:32 AM
In Cuba the ladies wear furs
In spite of the absence of brrrrs
And the men often wonder
what's hiding down under

MidlifeMark
11-07-2010, 05:27 AM
In Cuba the ladies wear furs
In spite of the absence of brrrrs
And the men often wonder
what's hiding down under
and what sort of mischief occurs.

A newlywed couple named Kent

archerjoe
11-07-2010, 05:33 AM
A newlywed couple named Kent
Spent two weeks alone in a tent

Matera the Mad
11-07-2010, 08:31 AM
A newlywed couple named Kent
Spent two weeks alone in a tent
Since they never came out

flyingtart
11-07-2010, 12:54 PM
A newlywed couple named Kent
Spent two weeks alone in a tent
Since they never came out
People worried about

donroc
11-07-2010, 06:10 PM
A newlywed couple named Kent
Spent two weeks alone in a tent
Since they never came out
People worried about
A putrid malodorous scent.

A grizzly bear craved some honey

MidlifeMark
11-07-2010, 06:12 PM
A grizzly bear craved some honey
The bees didn't think it was funny

StephanieFox
11-08-2010, 01:44 AM
A grizzly bear craved some honey
The bees didn't think it was funny
They massed in a swarm

MidlifeMark
11-08-2010, 02:52 AM
A grizzly bear craved some honey
The bees didn't think it was funny
They massed in a swarm
And struck like a storm

Nymtoc
11-08-2010, 03:16 AM
A grizzly bear craved some honey
The bees didn't think it was funny
They massed in a swarm
And struck like a storm
And ol' Griz, he ran like a bunny.

I fear that my roof has a leak

archerjoe
11-08-2010, 03:59 AM
I fear that my roof has a leak
It's been this way for a week

Matera the Mad
11-08-2010, 06:39 AM
I fear that my roof has a leak
It's been this way for a week
I can't climb up there

archerjoe
11-08-2010, 08:06 AM
I fear that my roof has a leak
It's been this way for a week
I can't climb up there
I just washed my hair

StephanieFox
11-08-2010, 11:02 AM
I fear that my roof has a leak
It's been this way for a week
I can't climb up there
I just washed my hair
And besides, I might lose my mystique.


I live near the Mall of America

Nymtoc
11-08-2010, 12:13 PM
I live near the Mall of America
Next door to my BFF Erica

Dasaurus
11-08-2010, 12:30 PM
I live near the Mall of America
Next door to my BFF Erica
One day we went shopping

flyingtart
11-08-2010, 02:49 PM
I live near the Mall of America
Next door to my BFF Erica
One day we went shopping
I ended up dropping

archerjoe
11-08-2010, 07:11 PM
I live near the Mall of America
Next door to my BFF Erica
One day we went shopping
I ended up dropping
Two pieces of fine esoterica

The shopkeeper called the police

flyingtart
11-08-2010, 07:35 PM
The shopkeeper called the police
He claimed I molested his niece

Nymtoc
11-08-2010, 09:36 PM
The shopkeeper called the police
He claimed I molested his niece
I said, "That's a lie!"

StephanieFox
11-09-2010, 02:39 AM
The shopkeeper called the police
He claimed I molested his niece
I said, "That's a lie,"
"I am painfully shy!"

MidlifeMark
11-09-2010, 06:24 AM
The shopkeeper called the police
He claimed I molested his niece
I said, "That's a lie,"
"I am painfully shy!"
"Besides, she's been rolling in grease!"

The Pats got their butts kicked on Sunday

Sir_Nigel
11-09-2010, 12:28 PM
The Pats got their butts kicked on Sunday
But Huddersfield Town won on Monday

Dasaurus
11-09-2010, 12:50 PM
The Pats got their butts kicked on Sunday
But Huddersfield Town won on Monday
In celebration I drank

Sir_Nigel
11-09-2010, 01:47 PM
The Pats got their butts kicked on Sunday
But Huddersfield Town won on Monday
In celebration I drank
a whole petrol tank

flyingtart
11-09-2010, 03:02 PM
The Pats got their butts kicked on Sunday
But Huddersfield Town won on Monday
In celebration I drank
a whole petrol tank
So now everyday is a Fun Day


In the days when young ladies were chaste

archerjoe
11-09-2010, 04:34 PM
In the days when young ladies were chaste
Young men had a mission posthaste

iLion
11-09-2010, 05:06 PM
In the days when young ladies were chaste
Young men had a mission posthaste
t'was seen as an art

flyingtart
11-09-2010, 06:02 PM
In the days when young ladies were chaste
Young men had a mission posthaste
t'was seen as an art
To pick up a tart

Sir_Nigel
11-09-2010, 06:17 PM
In the days when young ladies were chaste
Young men had a mission posthaste
t'was seen as an art
to pick up a tart
with no drawers and her bodice unlaced.



Yeah verily, Fie and Forsooth,

flyingtart
11-09-2010, 07:49 PM
'Yeah verily, Fie and Forsooth,'
Said the actor, while sipping vermouth

Nymtoc
11-09-2010, 10:39 PM
'Yeah verily, Fie and Forsooth,'
Said the actor, while sipping vermouth
'And also What ho!'

iLion
11-09-2010, 11:18 PM
'Yeah verily, Fie and Forsooth,'
Said the actor, while sipping vermouth
'And also What ho!'
and 'Blymie', you know?

archerjoe
11-09-2010, 11:32 PM
'Yeah verily, Fie and Forsooth,'
Said the actor, while sipping vermouth
'And also What ho!'
and 'Blymie', you know?
'You're getting quite long in the tooth'

She refilled the drink in his hand

flyingtart
11-10-2010, 12:06 AM
She refilled the drink in his hand
But things didn't go as she'd planned

MidlifeMark
11-10-2010, 05:48 AM
She refilled the drink in his hand
But things didn't go as she'd planned
Though the drink was quite stiff,

Sir_Nigel
11-10-2010, 01:50 PM
She refilled the drink in his hand
But things didn't go as she'd planned
Though the drink was quite stiff,
he rolled up a spliff

flyingtart
11-10-2010, 02:20 PM
She refilled the drink in his hand
But things didn't go as she'd planned
Though the drink was quite stiff,
he rolled up a spliff
Then farted as loud as a band.


This put her in mind of young Claude

Sir_Nigel
11-10-2010, 02:30 PM
This put her in mind of young Claude
whose botty burps folks would applaud

iLion
11-10-2010, 09:12 PM
This put her in mind of young Claude
whose botty burps folks would applaud
He'd stand on the bar

archerjoe
11-10-2010, 09:27 PM
This put her in mind of young Claude
whose botty burps folks would applaud
He'd stand on the bar
Offend near and far

Nymtoc
11-10-2010, 09:33 PM
This put her in mind of young Claude
whose botty burps folks would applaud
He'd stand on the bar
Offend near and far
No wonder they called him a sod.

Young Merton was known as a fool

iLion
11-10-2010, 09:38 PM
Young Merton was known as a fool
For his bride was a very tall mule

PattiTheWicked
11-10-2010, 10:06 PM
Young Merton was known as a fool
For his bride was a very tall mule
He loved her greatly,

flyingtart
11-10-2010, 11:40 PM
Young Merton was known as a fool
For his bride was a very tall mule
He loved her greatly,
But ain't seen her lately

Nymtoc
11-11-2010, 12:13 AM
Young Merton was known as a fool
For his bride was a very tall mule
He loved her greatly,
But ain't seen her lately
Because she ran off with a ghoul.

I'll swim the Atlantic one day

MidlifeMark
11-11-2010, 04:34 AM
I'll swim the Atlantic one day
I'll wrestle some whales on the way

iLion
11-11-2010, 04:40 AM
I'll swim the Atlantic one day
I'll wrestle some whales on the way
If I can survive

MidlifeMark
11-11-2010, 04:44 AM
I'll swim the Atlantic one day
I'll wrestle some whales on the way
If I can survive
I'll steal a bee hive

iLion
11-11-2010, 05:13 AM
I'll swim the Atlantic one day
I'll wrestle some whales on the way
If I can survive
I'll steal a bee hive
and hide it on Santa's toy sleigh.

Every person on the plane had a gun

MidlifeMark
11-11-2010, 05:40 AM
Every person on the plane had a gun
Every father, every mother, each son

archerjoe
11-11-2010, 05:54 AM
Every person on the plane had a gun
Every father, every mother, each son
But when Grandpa farted

MidlifeMark
11-11-2010, 05:56 AM
Every person on the plane had a gun
Every father, every mother, each son
But when Grandpa farted
The melee got started

Nymtoc
11-11-2010, 09:04 AM
Every person on the plane had a gun
Every father, every mother, each son
But when Grandpa farted
The melee got started
And at the end, nobody won.

A donkey, a cow and a pig

Matera the Mad
11-11-2010, 09:45 AM
A donkey, a cow and a pig
Heard a fiddle tune and danced a jig

archerjoe
11-11-2010, 04:19 PM
A donkey, a cow and a pig
Heard a fiddle tune and danced a jig
Tom turkey joined in

flyingtart
11-11-2010, 04:36 PM
A donkey, a cow and a pig
Heard a fiddle tune and danced a jig
Tom turkey joined in
With the terrible din

Sir_Nigel
11-11-2010, 05:58 PM
A donkey, a cow and a pig
Heard a fiddle tune and danced a jig
Tom turkey joined in
With the terrible din
singing ‘Gobble!’ in a bright ginger wig



An implausible tale I feel

flyingtart
11-11-2010, 07:54 PM
An implausible tale I feel
Needs details to make it more real

iLion
11-11-2010, 09:11 PM
An implausible tale I feel
Needs details to make it more real
So paint a scene

MidlifeMark
11-12-2010, 05:07 AM
An implausible tale I feel
Needs details to make it more real
So paint a scene
(but not obscene)

Sir_Nigel
11-12-2010, 01:02 PM
An implausible tale I feel
Needs details to make it more real
So paint a scene
(but not obscene)
Did I mention the horn playing seal?


McGrew was a desperate man

flyingtart
11-12-2010, 04:13 PM
McGrew was a desperate man
Who robbed banks in a fawn coloured van

MidlifeMark
11-12-2010, 05:26 PM
McGrew was a desperate man
Who robbed banks in a fawn coloured van
Till that fateful day

Pthom
11-12-2010, 09:43 PM
McGrew was a desperate man
Who robbed banks in a fawn coloured van
Till that fateful day
When his courage gave way

MidlifeMark
11-12-2010, 11:26 PM
McGrew was a desperate man
Who robbed banks in a fawn coloured van
Till that fateful day
When his courage gave way
He abandoned the van, turned, and ran.

A powerful wizard was Merlin

Nymtoc
11-13-2010, 12:34 AM
A powerful wizard was Merlin
His wand could start hurricanes whirlin'

slcboston
11-13-2010, 02:21 AM
A powerful wizard was Merlin
His wand could start hurricanes whirlin'
But when it came to the lasses

iLion
11-13-2010, 03:41 AM
A powerful wizard was Merlin
His wand could start hurricanes whirlin'
But when it came to the lasses
He needed his glasses

MidlifeMark
11-13-2010, 04:10 AM
A powerful wizard was Merlin
His wand could start hurricanes whirlin'
But when it came to the lasses
He needed his glasses
To make sure he let the right girl in.

My garden was full of tomatoes

iLion
11-13-2010, 04:25 AM
My garden was full of tomatoes
I ate them today with potatos

flyingtart
11-13-2010, 02:27 PM
My garden was full of tomatoes
I ate them today with potatos
Garnished with dill

MidlifeMark
11-13-2010, 04:49 PM
My garden was full of tomatoes
I ate them today with potatos
Garnished with dill
I gobbled my fill

Nymtoc
11-13-2010, 07:41 PM
My garden was full of tomatoes
I ate them today with potatoes
Garnished with dill
I gobbled my fill
The recipe secret was Plato's.

I've bet every last buck on my team

donroc
11-13-2010, 08:00 PM
I've bet every last buck on my team
Which became a horrible dream

MidlifeMark
11-13-2010, 08:46 PM
I've bet every last buck on my team
Which became a horrible dream
For the game that they lost

flyingtart
11-13-2010, 08:56 PM
I've bet every last buck on my team
Which became a horrible dream
For the game that they lost
I have found to my cost

MidlifeMark
11-13-2010, 09:38 PM
I've bet every last buck on my team
Which became a horrible dream
For the game that they lost
I have found to my cost
Proved my bet was an error extreme.

Flyingtart's avatar is quite scary

iLion
11-13-2010, 11:00 PM
Flyingtart's avatar is quite scary
Whereas Mark's is now gone 'cause he's hairy

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 12:18 AM
Flyingtart's avatar is quite scary
Whereas Mark's is now gone 'cause he's hairy
As though iLion should talk,

iLion
11-14-2010, 01:41 AM
Flyingtart's avatar is quite scary
Whereas Mark's is now gone 'cause he's hairy
As though iLion should talk,
He wears a Mohawk

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 01:44 AM
Flyingtart's avatar is quite scary
Whereas Mark's is now gone 'cause he's hairy
As though iLion should talk,
He wears a Mohawk
Which makes him look like a canary.

Well, the summer has turned into fall

Nymtoc
11-14-2010, 03:55 AM
Well, the summer has turned into fall
I can't go nude anymore after all

flyingtart
11-14-2010, 02:21 PM
Well, the summer has turned into fall
I can't go nude anymore after all
I'm wrapped up in furs

Matera the Mad
11-14-2010, 04:14 PM
Well, the summer has turned into fall
I can't go nude anymore after all
I'm wrapped up in furs
So I look like ten curs

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 04:21 PM
Well, the summer has turned into fall
I can't go nude anymore after all
I'm wrapped up in furs
So I look like ten curs
That were run over chasing a ball

Now, the Irish like whiskey and stout

Matera the Mad
11-14-2010, 04:40 PM
Now, the Irish like whiskey and stout
And they'll drink 'til the evening is out

flyingtart
11-14-2010, 05:55 PM
Now, the Irish like whiskey and stout
And they'll drink 'til the evening is out
Then they'll sit by the fire

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 06:11 PM
Now, the Irish like whiskey and stout
And they'll drink 'til the evening is out
Then they'll sit by the fire
And sing songs till they tire

Nymtoc
11-14-2010, 10:41 PM
Now, the Irish like whiskey and stout
And they'll drink 'til the evening is out
Then they'll sit by the fire
And sing songs till they tire
Are they happy as kings? There's no doubt.

Tom Turkey has reason to fear

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 11:02 PM
Tom Turkey has reason to fear
As Thanksgiving dinner draws near

flyingtart
11-14-2010, 11:02 PM
Tom Turkey has reason to fear
As Thanksgiving dinner draws near
He's planning escape

MidlifeMark
11-14-2010, 11:07 PM
Tom Turkey has reason to fear
As Thanksgiving dinner draws near
He's planning escape
Disguised as an ape

iLion
11-15-2010, 01:19 AM
Tom Turkey has reason to fear
As Thanksgiving dinner draws near
He's planning escape
Disguised as an ape
That's why he's been guzzling the beer.

I won't touch the neck with a stick

MidlifeMark
11-15-2010, 03:41 AM
I won't touch the neck with a stick
I don't ever drink Nestle's Quik

iLion
11-15-2010, 04:46 AM
I won't touch the neck with a stick
I don't ever drink Nestle's Quik
What can it mean

MidlifeMark
11-15-2010, 05:37 AM
I won't touch the neck with a stick
I don't ever drink Nestle's Quik
What can it mean
Something obscene

Nymtoc
11-15-2010, 07:25 AM
I won't touch the neck with a stick
I don't ever drink Nestle's Quik
What can it mean
Something obscene
Change subjects, before I get sick.

There's something that doesn't feel right

Sir_Nigel
11-15-2010, 12:47 PM
There's something that doesn't feel right
said Dracula taking a bite

flyingtart
11-15-2010, 02:36 PM
There's something that doesn't feel right
said Dracula taking a bite
And looking, he saw

archerjoe
11-15-2010, 07:06 PM
There's something that doesn't feel right
said Dracula taking a bite
And looking, he saw
A cast-iron bra

flyingtart
11-15-2010, 09:30 PM
"There's something that doesn't feel right,"
said Dracula taking a bite
And looking, he saw
A cast-iron bra
"I hope that my fangs are alright!"


The nuns at the Carmelite order

iLion
11-15-2010, 09:42 PM
The nuns at the Carmelite order
Were told to move on and not loiter

Nymtoc
11-15-2010, 10:47 PM
The nuns at the Carmelite order
Were told to stay clear of the border *
""There's danger out there







*See post above. I'm in a mean mood today, but "loiter" does not rhyme with "order." Go ahead, throw rocks at me! I have a thick skull! :evil

StephanieFox
11-16-2010, 02:46 AM
The nuns at the Carmelite order
Were told to stay clear of the border *
"There's danger out there
Dressed in pope underwear.

Sir_Nigel
11-16-2010, 01:03 PM
The nuns at the Carmelite order
Were told to stay clear of the border *
"There's danger out there
Dressed in pope underwear.
And dose tight Cattlic drawers can be morder.




And the Top o’ the Mornin’ to you

flyingtart
11-16-2010, 02:34 PM
And the Top o’ the Mornin’ to you
Ain't this just what the Oirish would do?

Sir_Nigel
11-16-2010, 03:50 PM
And the Top o’ the Mornin’ to you
Ain't this just what the Oirish would do?
As the little people say:

iLion
11-17-2010, 07:36 AM
And the Top o’ the Mornin’ to you
Ain't this just what the Oirish would do?
As the little people say:
"Lets have a roll in the hay"

flyingtart
11-17-2010, 02:18 PM
And the Top o’ the Mornin’ to you
Ain't this just what the Oirish would do?
As the little people say:
"Lets roll in the hay*
And I'll give you my love so true"


Oh, wee Willie Windsor must wed


*scans better

Sir_Nigel
11-17-2010, 03:12 PM
Oh, wee Willie Windsor must wed
Is this true!?? Because nobody said

flyingtart
11-18-2010, 01:01 AM
Oh, wee Willie Windsor must wed
Is this true!?? Because nobody said
It's been on TV

archerjoe
11-18-2010, 05:09 AM
Oh, wee Willie Windsor must wed
Is this true!?? Because nobody said
It's been on TV,
On buses, you see

flyingtart
11-18-2010, 01:19 PM
Oh, wee Willie Windsor must wed
Is this true!?? Because nobody said
It's been on TV,
On buses, you see
I wish I had stayed in my bed.


The winter wind's starting to blow

Sir_Nigel
11-18-2010, 02:25 PM
The winter wind's starting to blow
There’s a breeze up my kilt, don’t you know

archerjoe
11-18-2010, 07:12 PM
The winter wind's starting to blow
There’s a breeze up my kilt, don’t you know
A cup of hot cider

iLion
11-18-2010, 09:12 PM
The winter wind's starting to blow
There’s a breeze up my kilt, don’t you know
A cup of hot cider
A cuddly pet spider

Nymtoc
11-18-2010, 11:12 PM
The winter wind's starting to blow
There’s a breeze up my kilt, don’t you know
A cup of hot cider
A cuddly pet spider
And I'll feel all snug in the snow.

They tell me the world's going to end

archerjoe
11-19-2010, 12:08 AM
They tell me the world's going to end
But I think it's quite on the mend

MidlifeMark
11-19-2010, 09:43 AM
The winter wind's starting to blow
There’s a breeze up my kilt, don’t you know
A cup of hot cider
A cuddly pet spider
A large mushroom pizza to go.

That last limerick doesn't make sense

Sir_Nigel
11-19-2010, 12:37 PM
That last limerick doesn't make sense
There’s a green kangaroo on my fence.

Dasaurus
11-19-2010, 12:58 PM
That last limerick doesn't make sense
There’s a green kangaroo on my fence
My armpits are itchy,

flyingtart
11-19-2010, 04:27 PM
That last limerick doesn't make sense
There’s a green kangaroo on my fence
My armpits are itchy
I hate to be bitchy

MidlifeMark
11-19-2010, 05:18 PM
That last limerick doesn't make sense
There’s a green kangaroo on my fence
My armpits are itchy
I hate to be bitchy
This poem's getting way too intense.

I'm finally taking vacation

flyingtart
11-19-2010, 07:02 PM
I'm finally taking vacation
But cannot decide on which nation

Nymtoc
11-19-2010, 09:14 PM
I'm finally taking vacation
But cannot decide on which nation
They say Timbuktu

iLion
11-19-2010, 10:00 PM
I'm finally taking vacation
But cannot decide on which nation
They say Timbuktu
Sure beats out Peru

MidlifeMark
11-20-2010, 12:25 AM
I'm finally taking vacation
But cannot decide on which nation
They say Timbuktu
Sure beats out Peru
In terms of carnal excitation.

This Sunday the Pats will host Indy

Pthom
11-21-2010, 05:03 AM
This Sunday the Pats will host Indy
But I have a date with sweet Cindy.

archerjoe
11-21-2010, 05:58 AM
This Sunday the Pats will host Indy
But I have a date with sweet Cindy.
So Peyton and Tom

MidlifeMark
11-21-2010, 06:57 AM
This Sunday the Pats will host Indy
But I have a date with sweet Cindy.
So Peyton and Tom
Will drop back and bomb

Nymtoc
11-21-2010, 07:08 AM
This Sunday the Pats will host Indy
But I have a date with sweet Cindy.
So Peyton and Tom
Will drop back and bomb
While Cin and I practice our Hindi.

I don't really like caviar

Matera the Mad
11-21-2010, 09:56 AM
I don't really like caviar
It's nothing but lumpy fish tar

MidlifeMark
11-21-2010, 03:31 PM
I don't really like caviar
It's nothing but lumpy fish tar
But it's so expensive

flyingtart
11-21-2010, 03:50 PM
I don't really like caviar
It's nothing but lumpy fish tar
But it's so expensive
Its effects are extensive

MidlifeMark
11-22-2010, 07:56 AM
I don't really like caviar
It's nothing but lumpy fish tar
But it's so expensive
Its effects are extensive
You can take it back home in a jar.

Peyton Manning just threw us three picks

StephanieFox
11-22-2010, 09:55 AM
Peyton Manning just threw us three picks
So they sent him back home to the sticks.

flyingtart
11-22-2010, 03:17 PM
Peyton Manning just threw us three picks
So they sent him back home to the sticks.
Where he plucks his banjo

Nymtoc
11-22-2010, 05:23 PM
Peyton Manning just threw us three picks
So they sent him back home to the sticks.
Where he plucks his banjo*
Along with his man Joe






*I am sticking pins in a Flyingtart doll, because "banjo" is one of those unrhymable words. No, you can't rhyme it with "mojo" or "outgrow" or "big toe" or anything else. The FIRST syllable has to rhyme, and the "jo" syllable remains the same. When the accent is on the first syllable of a two-syllable word, that's how rhyming works. So I've come up with a crappy line just so we can get on with it. :rant:

Sir_Nigel
11-22-2010, 06:18 PM
Peyton Manning just threw us three picks
So they sent him back home to the sticks.
Where he plucks his banjo*
Along with his man Joe
and their very close friend Stevie Nix


Last Tuesday I purchased a mango

flyingtart
11-22-2010, 06:28 PM
Last Tuesday I purchased a mango
And mastered the art of the tango

Sir_Nigel
11-22-2010, 06:35 PM
Last Tuesday I purchased a mango
And mastered the art of the tango
combining the two

oneblindmouse
11-22-2010, 07:12 PM
Last Tuesday I purchased a mango
And mastered the art of the tango
combining the two
wearing only one shoe

Sir_Nigel
11-22-2010, 07:19 PM
Last Tuesday I purchased a mango
And mastered the art of the tango.
Combining the two
wearing only one shoe
we danced to guitar legend Django



Slowly it slid from his lap

MidlifeMark
11-22-2010, 07:48 PM
Slowly it slid from his lap
And curled itself up for a nap

flyingtart
11-22-2010, 08:21 PM
Slowly it slid from his lap
And curled itself up for a nap
It may seem absurd

iLion
11-22-2010, 09:47 PM
Slowly it slid from his lap
And curled itself up for a nap
It may seem absurd
That a snake and a bird

Pthom
11-22-2010, 11:09 PM
Slowly it slid from his lap
And curled itself up for a nap.
It may seem absurd
That a snake and a bird
Could actually fall for that trap.

In summer and winter I ski

flyingtart
11-23-2010, 12:01 AM
In summer and winter I ski
Down the mountains of old Hawaii

oneblindmouse
11-23-2010, 12:16 AM
In summer and winter I ski
Down the mountains of old Hawaii
I snowboard and surf

iLion
11-23-2010, 12:57 AM
In summer and winter I ski
Down the mountains of old Hawaii
I snowboard and surf
No matter the turf

oneblindmouse
11-23-2010, 01:05 AM
In summer and winter I ski
Down the mountains of old Hawaii
I snowboard and surf
No matter the turf
Glowing with gladness and glee!

I'm trying to think of a ditty

iLion
11-23-2010, 01:10 AM
I'm trying to think of a ditty
That I can tattoo on my titty

oneblindmouse
11-23-2010, 01:26 AM
I'm trying to think of a ditty
That I can tattoo on my titty
But the thought of a needle

iLion
11-23-2010, 01:51 AM
I'm trying to think of a ditty
That I can tattoo on my titty
But the thought of a needle
Making me bleed'll

oneblindmouse
11-23-2010, 02:45 AM
I'm trying to think of a ditty
That I can tattoo on my titty
But the thought of a needle
Making me bleed'll
Makes me cringe from the real nitty gritty.

A literate turkey that wrote

Pthom
11-23-2010, 04:39 AM
A literate turkey that wrote
A sonnet (oh my!) to a goat

Sir_Nigel
11-23-2010, 02:06 PM
A literate turkey that wrote
a sonnet (oh my!) to a goat
was clearly a winner

flyingtart
11-23-2010, 03:34 PM
A literate turkey that wrote
a sonnet (oh my!) to a goat
was clearly a winner
A real money spinner

MidlifeMark
11-23-2010, 03:58 PM
A literate turkey that wrote
a sonnet (oh my!) to a goat
was clearly a winner
A real money spinner
Now roasts in a tin-foil coat.

An old scatalogical parrot

Nymtoc
11-23-2010, 08:49 PM
An old scatalogical parrot
Served coconut rum in his garret

MidlifeMark
11-23-2010, 09:47 PM
An old scatalogical parrot
Served coconut rum in his garret
And sang bawdy songs

Nymtoc
11-23-2010, 09:53 PM
An old scatalogical parrot
Served coconut rum in his garret
And sang bawdy songs
To women in thongs

MidlifeMark
11-23-2010, 09:55 PM
An old scatalogical parrot
Served coconut rum in his garret
And sang bawdy songs
To women in thongs
And tried to seduce a young ferret.

Thanksgiving is time to talk turkey

iLion
11-23-2010, 10:04 PM
Thanksgiving is time to talk turkey
Although my Turkey is murkey

MidlifeMark
11-23-2010, 10:12 PM
Thanksgiving is time to talk turkey
Although my Turkey is murkey
With all of that stuffin'

flyingtart
11-23-2010, 11:11 PM
Thanksgiving is time to talk turkey
Although my Turkey is murkey
With all of that stuffin'
And huffin' and puffin'

Pthom
11-23-2010, 11:29 PM
Thanksgiving is time to talk turkey
Although my Turkey is murkey
With all of that stuffin'
And huffin' and puffin'
My Cuisinart's just acting quirky!

But cranberry jelly from cans

MidlifeMark
11-23-2010, 11:32 PM
But cranberry jelly from cans
Is what the tradition demands

archerjoe
11-24-2010, 04:38 AM
But cranberry jelly from cans
Is what the tradition demands
Don't do your own grinding

MidlifeMark
11-24-2010, 06:44 AM
But cranberry jelly from cans
Is what the tradition demands
Don't do your own grinding
Or it could be blinding

iLion
11-24-2010, 06:58 AM
But cranberry jelly from cans
Is what the tradition demands
Don't do your own grinding
Or it could be blinding
And hair will grow on your hands.

The turkey was 28 pounds

Sir_Nigel
11-24-2010, 01:09 PM
The turkey was 28 pounds
I shot it with 52 rounds

flyingtart
11-24-2010, 01:27 PM
The turkey was 28 pounds
I shot it with 52 rounds
But still it keep squawking

oneblindmouse
11-24-2010, 06:16 PM
The turkey was 28 pounds
I shot it with 52 rounds
But still it keeps squawking
And just keeps on walking

Nymtoc
11-24-2010, 06:31 PM
The turkey was 28 pounds
I shot it with 52 rounds
But still it keeps squawking
And just keeps on walking
And people who see it cry, "Zounds!"

My kinfolk are due to arrive

oneblindmouse
11-24-2010, 06:45 PM
My kinfolk are due to arrive
Their car is approaching the drive

flyingtart
11-24-2010, 09:27 PM
My kinfolk are due to arrive
Their car is approaching the drive
Perhaps if I hide

MidlifeMark
11-24-2010, 09:54 PM
My kinfolk are due to arrive
Their car is approaching the drive
Perhaps if I hide
Real quiet inside

Nymtoc
11-24-2010, 09:58 PM
My kinfolk are due to arrive
Their car is approaching the drive
Perhaps if I hide
Real quiet inside
They'll leave, and with luck I'll survive.

Grandmother is baking mince pie

Pthom
11-24-2010, 11:41 PM
Grandmother is baking mince pie
And Granfather's out getting high.

flyingtart
11-25-2010, 12:08 AM
Grandmother is baking mince pie
And Granfather's out getting high.
It may sound insane

Nymtoc
11-25-2010, 04:52 AM
Grandmother is baking mince pie
And Granfather's out getting high.
It may sound insane
But turkey chow mein

Sir_Nigel
11-25-2010, 03:07 PM
Grandmother is baking mince pie
And Granfather's out getting high.
It may sound insane
But turkey chow mein
is forbidden by law in Shanghai

‘But soft,’ quoth the love-stricken swain

flyingtart
11-25-2010, 03:27 PM
‘But soft,’ quoth the love-stricken swain
'Did I just hear a cry down that drain?'

Nymtoc
11-25-2010, 04:23 PM
‘But soft,’ quoth the love-stricken swain
'Did I just hear a cry down that drain?
Mayhap some poor soul

Sir_Nigel
11-25-2010, 06:12 PM
But soft,’ quoth the love-stricken swain
'Did I just hear a cry down that drain?
Mayhap some poor soul
is wedged in the hole

flyingtart
11-25-2010, 11:32 PM
But soft,’ quoth the love-stricken swain
'Did I just hear a cry down that drain?
Mayhap some poor soul
is wedged in the hole
I hope they are not in great pain!"


Thanksgiving's the time to give thanks

Nymtoc
11-25-2010, 11:43 PM
Thanksgiving's the time to give thanks
Although we've no money in banks

iLion
11-26-2010, 12:50 AM
Thanksgiving's the time to give thanks
Although we've no money in banks
We're poor and broke

Pthom
11-26-2010, 03:55 AM
Thanksgiving's the time to give thanks
Although we've no money in banks.
We're poor and we're broke;
We're a mess, it's no joke!

Matera the Mad
11-26-2010, 09:44 AM
Thanksgiving's the time to give thanks
Although we've no money in banks.
We're poor and we're broke;
We're a mess, it's no joke!
But the wolves are not biting our shanks!

If we had a way out of this mess

Sir_Nigel
11-26-2010, 02:44 PM
If we had a way out of this mess
we’d doubtless be drinking much less

flyingtart
11-26-2010, 02:54 PM
If we had a way out of this mess
we’d doubtless be drinking much less
Let's cheer ourselves up

Nymtoc
11-26-2010, 04:42 PM
If we had a way out of this mess
we’d doubtless be drinking much less
Let's cheer ourselves up
With a holiday cup

iLion
11-26-2010, 06:57 PM
If we had a way out of this mess
we’d doubtless be drinking much less
Let's cheer ourselves up
With a holiday cup
And do things we'll need to confess.

Friends are the best things in life

Sir_Nigel
11-26-2010, 07:22 PM
‘Friends are the best things in life’
- he explained, wiping blood from the knife.

Pthom
11-27-2010, 02:41 AM
“Friends are the best things in life,”
He explained, wiping blood from the knife.
“I like 'em boiled

Nymtoc
11-27-2010, 02:57 AM
“Friends are the best things in life,”
He explained, wiping blood from the knife.
“I like 'em boiled
Or seasoned and broiled

iLion
11-27-2010, 03:13 AM
“Friends are the best things in life,”
He explained, wiping blood from the knife.
“I like 'em boiled
Or seasoned and broiled
And fed from a spoon by the wife."

My neighbors already have lights

flyingtart
11-27-2010, 02:21 PM
My neighbors already have lights
And dress up in green sequinned tights

Nymtoc
11-27-2010, 05:12 PM
My neighbors already have lights
And dress up in green sequinned tights
Their dog's wearing tulle

iLion
11-28-2010, 12:13 AM
My neighbors already have lights
And dress up in green sequinned tights
Their dog's wearing tulle
And slippers, the fool,

flyingtart
11-28-2010, 02:01 PM
My neighbors already have lights
And dress up in green sequinned tights
Their dog's wearing tulle
And slippers, the fool,
I hope he don't get into fights


I struggled for hours through the blizzard

Nymtoc
11-28-2010, 05:10 PM
I struggled for hours through the blizzard
Accompanied by Phil, my pet lizard

flyingtart
11-28-2010, 06:36 PM
I struggled for hours through the blizzard
Accompanied by Phil, my pet lizard
At last I could see

MidlifeMark
11-29-2010, 02:52 AM
I struggled for hours through the blizzard
Accompanied by Phil, my pet lizard
At last I could see
as Phil stopped to pee

Nymtoc
11-29-2010, 04:03 AM
I struggled for hours through the blizzard
Accompanied by Phil, my pet lizard
At last I could see
as Phil stopped to pee
A beautifully gowned Eddie Izzard.

"Why, Eddie!" I cried. "You're so chic!"

archerjoe
11-29-2010, 04:20 AM
"Why, Eddie!" I cried. "You're so chic!"
"I'd never wear that; I'm too meek!"

Matera the Mad
11-29-2010, 09:24 AM
"Why, Eddie!" I cried. "You're so chic!"
"I'd never wear that; I'm too meek!"
"I'm not bold," he replied,

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2010, 12:50 PM
"Why, Eddie!" I cried. "You're so chic!"
"I'd never wear that; I'm too meek!"
"I'm not bold," he replied,
“I’m just crying inside”

flyingtart
11-29-2010, 01:27 PM
"Why, Eddie!" I cried. "You're so chic!"
"I'd never wear that; I'm too meek!"
"I'm not bold," he replied,
“I’m just crying inside”
Then he went home and sulked for a week


I feared twas the End of the World

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2010, 02:02 PM
I feared twas the End of the World
but those two little tassels she twirled

Nymtoc
11-29-2010, 04:27 PM
I feared twas the End of the World
but those two little tassels she twirled
Were so captivating

Sir_Nigel
11-29-2010, 05:12 PM
I feared twas the End of the World
but those two little tassels she twirled
Were so captivating
the world was kept waiting

archerjoe
11-30-2010, 08:13 AM
I feared twas the End of the World
but those two little tassels she twirled
Were so captivating
the world was kept waiting
I stayed till my freak flag unfurled

There were magical acts on the stage

flyingtart
11-30-2010, 04:24 PM
There were magical acts on the stage
But one sent Justin into a rage

Nymtoc
11-30-2010, 08:44 PM
There were magical acts on the stage
But one sent Justin into a rage
He jumped to his feet

archerjoe
11-30-2010, 11:05 PM
There were magical acts on the stage
But one sent Justin into a rage
He jumped to his feet
Face red like a beet

MidlifeMark
12-01-2010, 05:21 AM
There were magical acts on the stage
But one sent Justin into a rage
He jumped to his feet
Face red like a beet
And assaulted a Senator's Page.

I'm sick of this hackin' and coughin'

iLion
12-01-2010, 06:16 AM
I'm sick of this hackin' and coughin'
I'd rather be wankin' and boffin'

StephanieFox
12-01-2010, 06:57 AM
I'm sick of this hackin' and coughin'
I'd rather be wankin' and boffin'
But I'll drink a hot toddy

Nymtoc
12-01-2010, 10:44 AM
I'm sick of this hackin' and coughin'
I'd rather be wankin' and boffin'
But I'll drink a hot toddy
All winky and noddy

flyingtart
12-01-2010, 03:25 PM
I'm sick of this hackin' and coughin'
I'd rather be wankin' and boffin'
But I'll drink a hot toddy
All winky and noddy
And stop all this huffin' an' puffin'


December's upon us so soon

StephanieFox
12-01-2010, 08:07 PM
December's upon us so soon
Channakkah starts after noon.*








* Note: (Sundown is technically, after noon.)

flyingtart
12-02-2010, 02:08 PM
December's upon us so soon
Channakkah starts after noon.
I'm going to go shopping

iLion
12-02-2010, 05:01 PM
December's upon us so soon
Channakkah starts after noon.
I'm going to go shopping
With my kangaroo hopping