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MidlifeMark
10-15-2010, 10:34 PM
Vanilla Ice has a new TV show
Flipping homes, if you wanted to know.
But I can't see the logic

Nymtoc
10-15-2010, 11:23 PM
Vanilla Ice has a new TV show
Flipping homes, if you wanted to know.
But I can't see the logic
He's not demagogic

Lavern08
10-16-2010, 12:02 AM
Vanilla Ice has a new TV show
Flipping homes, if you wanted to know.
But I can't see the logic
He's not demagogic
I'm sure his new program will blow.

The mailman got mad and went postal

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 01:08 AM
The mailman got mad and went postal
And, sadly, his victims went ghostal

archerjoe
10-16-2010, 02:10 AM
The mailman got mad and went postal
And, sadly, his victims went ghostal
They haunted his route

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 02:48 AM
The mailman got mad and went postal
And, sadly, his victims went ghostal
They haunted his route
In constant pursuit

Nymtoc
10-16-2010, 04:19 AM
The mailman got mad and went postal
And, sadly, his victims went ghostal
They haunted his route
In constant pursuit
Till he went to hell, where he got roastal.

I think I'll try robbing a bank

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 04:51 AM
I think I'll try robbing a bank
I'll drive through the door in a tank

StephanieFox
10-16-2010, 08:38 AM
I think I'll try robbing a bank
I'll drive through the door in a tank,
Stuff the lira in sacks

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 01:11 PM
I think I'll try robbing a bank
I'll drive through the door in a tank,
Stuff the lira in sacks
Stack the sacks in their racks

flyingtart
10-16-2010, 01:41 PM
I think I'll try robbing a bank
I'll drive through the door in a tank,
Stuff the lira in sacks
Stack the sacks in their racks
Then escape with my accomplice, Frank

But I don't fancy life on the lam

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 01:59 PM
But I don't fancy life on the lam
Though it beats twenty years in the slam

Nymtoc
10-16-2010, 07:05 PM
But I don't fancy life on the lam
Though it beats twenty years in the slam
What if Frank spills the beans?

MidlifeMark
10-16-2010, 07:25 PM
But I don't fancy life on the lam
Though it beats twenty years in the slam
What if Frank spills the beans?
Um, well, frankly, that means

flyingtart
10-16-2010, 09:49 PM
But I don't fancy life on the lam
Though it beats twenty years in the slam
What if Frank spills the beans?
Um, well, frankly, that means
I'll conclude our romance was a sham


She pranced every night on the stage

Nymtoc
10-17-2010, 03:38 PM
She pranced every night on the stage,
Unusual for someone her age,

archerjoe
10-18-2010, 07:08 AM
She pranced every night on the stage,
Unusual for someone her age,
My Grandpa's a fan

flyingtart
10-18-2010, 10:37 AM
She pranced every night on the stage,
Unusual for someone her age,
My Grandpa's a fan
The dirty old man

Sir_Nigel
10-18-2010, 12:01 PM
She pranced every night on the stage,
Unusual for someone her age,
My Grandpa's a fan
The dirty old man
You can see the whole act on this page

They gingerly clicked on the link

flyingtart
10-18-2010, 12:05 PM
They gingerly clicked on the link
But it wasn't the shock you would think

iLion
10-18-2010, 08:08 PM
They gingerly clicked on the link
But it wasn't the shock you would think
Instead they just saw

Nymtoc
10-18-2010, 08:17 PM
They gingerly clicked on the link
But it wasn't the shock you would think
Instead they just saw
A skirt made of straw

StephanieFox
10-19-2010, 01:01 AM
They gingerly clicked on the link
But it wasn't the shock you would think
Instead they just saw
A skirt made of straw
On an elderly lawyer named Fink.


Halloween wasn't always so scary

MidlifeMark
10-19-2010, 05:59 AM
"Halloween wasn't always so scary"
reminisced an old spinster named Mary.

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2010, 11:17 AM
"Halloween wasn't always so scary"
reminisced an old spinster named Mary
in her tall pointy hat

flyingtart
10-19-2010, 12:45 PM
"Halloween wasn't always so scary"
reminisced an old spinster named Mary
in her tall pointy hat
Stroking her black cat

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2010, 01:19 PM
"Halloween wasn't always so scary"
reminisced an old spinster named Mary
in her tall pointy hat
Stroking her black cat
“and this wart wasn’t always so hairy.”



He woke from his sleep with a jolt

Nymtoc
10-19-2010, 02:05 PM
He woke from his sleep with a jolt
The prisoners were in revolt

flyingtart
10-19-2010, 02:45 PM
He woke from his sleep with a jolt
The prisoners were in revolt
He leapt from his bed

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2010, 04:21 PM
He woke from his sleep with a jolt
The prisoners were in revolt
He leapt from his bed
with a flourish and said:

slcboston
10-19-2010, 05:37 PM
He woke from his sleep with a jolt
The prisoners were in a revolt
He leapt from his bed
with a flourish and said:
"I knew we should have gotten good bolts."


There once was a pumpkin so fair

flyingtart
10-19-2010, 06:03 PM
There once was a pumpkin so fair
Who rolled down a hill for a dare

Nymtoc
10-19-2010, 06:29 PM
There once was a pumpkin so fair
Who rolled down a hill for a dare
"I hope my great dash

slcboston
10-19-2010, 07:03 PM
There once was a pumpkin so fair
Who rolled down a hill for a dare
"I hope my great dash
doesn't end with a smash."

flyingtart
10-19-2010, 07:08 PM
There once was a pumpkin so fair
Who rolled down a hill for a dare
"I hope my great dash
doesn't end with a smash."
But it did, and it ruined her hair.


They knew he was destined for greatness

slcboston
10-19-2010, 07:52 PM
They knew he was destined for greatness
When he danced he seemed almost weightless

MidlifeMark
10-20-2010, 06:50 AM
They knew he was destined for greatness
When he danced he seemed almost weightless
Never once did his heels

flyingtart
10-20-2010, 12:08 PM
They knew he was destined for greatness
When he danced he seemed almost weightless
Never once did his heels
Collide, but one feels

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2010, 12:39 PM
They knew he was destined for greatness
When he danced he seemed almost weightless
Never once did his heels
Collide, but one feels
Did he need to dress up as a waitress??


But surely Miss Perkins you jest

flyingtart
10-20-2010, 01:40 PM
But surely Miss Perkins you jest
This coffee you made is the best

archerjoe
10-20-2010, 02:34 PM
But surely Miss Perkins you jest
This coffee you made is the best
The aroma divine

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2010, 02:50 PM
But surely Miss Perkins you jest
This coffee you made is the best
The aroma divine
And your gerbil soup…….fine

flyingtart
10-20-2010, 03:38 PM
But surely Miss Perkins you jest
This coffee you made is the best
The aroma divine
And your gerbil soup…….fine
Would you mind if I fondled your breast?


She slapped him as hard as she could

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2010, 04:06 PM
She slapped him as hard as she could
“OK then, your coffee’s like mud”

archerjoe
10-20-2010, 04:19 PM
She slapped him as hard as she could
“OK then, your coffee’s like mud”
The smell makes me gag

Nymtoc
10-20-2010, 08:16 PM
She slapped him as hard as she could
“OK then, your coffee’s like mud
The smell makes me gag
You're an ugly old bag

iLion
10-20-2010, 08:50 PM
She slapped him as hard as she could
“OK then, your coffee’s like mud
The smell makes me gag
You're an ugly old bag
And you skin is splintered like wood!"

She grabbed him this time by the ass

flyingtart
10-20-2010, 10:09 PM
She grabbed him this time by the ass
"You've a fine way of making a pass!"

archerjoe
10-20-2010, 11:34 PM
She grabbed him this time by the ass
"You've a fine way of making a pass!"
"If you kissed me instead"

Nymtoc
10-20-2010, 11:42 PM
She grabbed him this time by the ass
"You've a fine way of making a pass!"
"If you kissed me instead
I might give you...bread

MidlifeMark
10-21-2010, 05:50 AM
She grabbed him this time by the ass
"You've a fine way of making a pass!"
"If you kissed me instead
I might give you...bread
But you just had to be so damn crass.

In the woods lives a hermit named Harvey

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2010, 11:39 AM
In the woods lives a hermit named Harvey
whose head is infested with larvae

flyingtart
10-21-2010, 12:18 PM
In the woods lives a hermit named Harvey
whose head is infested with larvae
He tried lots of cures

Sir_Nigel
10-21-2010, 01:17 PM
In the woods lives a hermit named Harvey
whose head is infested with larvae
He tried lots of cures
he’d dragged from the sewers

Nymtoc
10-21-2010, 02:32 PM
In the woods lives a hermit named Harvey
whose head is infested with larvae
He tried lots of cures
he’d dragged from the sewers
But he ended up sickly and starvey.

Elizabeth Pym was a tease

flyingtart
10-21-2010, 05:33 PM
Elizabeth Pym was a tease
With her skimpy dress high above her knees

archerjoe
10-21-2010, 06:34 PM
Elizabeth Pym was a tease
With her skimpy dress high above her knees
Guys walked into walls

Nymtoc
10-21-2010, 07:49 PM
Elizabeth Pym was a tease
With her skimpy dress high above her knees
Guys walked into walls
Ballplayers dropped balls

iLion
10-21-2010, 08:31 PM
Elizabeth Pym was a tease
With her skimpy dress high above her knees
Guys walked into walls
Ballplayers dropped balls
And they ogled her great double-Ds.

They drooled when she went walking by,

flyingtart
10-21-2010, 09:52 PM
They drooled when she went walking by,
Until one lusty soul thought he'd try

StephanieFox
10-22-2010, 10:27 AM
They drooled when she went walking by,
Until one lusty soul thought he'd try
Using his tongue

Sir_Nigel
10-22-2010, 11:22 AM
They drooled when she went walking by,
Until one lusty soul thought he'd try
using his tongue
to woo her in song

flyingtart
10-22-2010, 12:28 PM
They drooled when she went walking by,
Until one lusty soul thought he'd try
using his tongue
to woo her in song
But his caterwauling made her cry.


When Doris and Boris first met

Nymtoc
10-22-2010, 12:38 PM
When Doris and Boris first met
They sang a delightful duet

Sir_Nigel
10-22-2010, 01:11 PM
When Doris and Boris first met
They sang a delightful duet
‘Daa daa dum de deeeee ‘

MidlifeMark
10-22-2010, 03:39 PM
When Doris and Boris first met
They sang a delightful duet
‘Daa daa dum de deeeee ‘
First went he, and then she

Sir_Nigel
10-22-2010, 03:48 PM
When Doris and Boris first met
They sang a delightful duet
‘Daa daa dum de deeeee ‘
First went he, and then she
They don’t know the lyrics as yet.


The dong had a luminous nose

MidlifeMark
10-22-2010, 03:56 PM
The dong had a luminous nose
(This sounds really bad, but here goes...)

Lavern08
10-22-2010, 05:32 PM
The dong had a luminous nose
(This sounds really bad, but here goes...)
That schozzola was huge

flyingtart
10-22-2010, 05:45 PM
The dong had a luminous nose
(This sounds really bad, but here goes...)
That schozzola was huge
And when painted with rouge

MidlifeMark
10-22-2010, 07:07 PM
The dong had a luminous nose
(This sounds really bad, but here goes...)
That schozzola was huge
And when painted with rouge
It can't be described with mere prose.

An orangutan, out on a date,

flyingtart
10-22-2010, 07:46 PM
An orangutan, out on a date,
Had too many nuts on his plate

MidlifeMark
10-22-2010, 07:50 PM
An orangutan, out on a date,
Had too many nuts on his plate.
He solved this dilemma

StephanieFox
10-23-2010, 03:47 AM
An orangutan, out on a date,
Had too many nuts on his plate.
He solved this dilemma,
Changed from macho to femma

MidlifeMark
10-23-2010, 04:44 AM
An orangutan, out on a date,
Had too many nuts on his plate.
He solved this dilemma,
Changed from macho to femma
To which his date could not relate.

In New Haven they bake a fine pizza

StephanieFox
10-23-2010, 05:04 AM
In New Haven they bake a fine pizza
With the pizza dough laid out on sheet=za.

Nymtoc
10-23-2010, 05:29 AM
In New Haven they bake a fine pizza
With the pizza dough laid out on sheet=za.
The people, they wait

flyingtart
10-23-2010, 11:22 AM
In New Haven they bake a fine pizza
With the pizza dough laid out on sheet=za.
The people, they wait
Till quarter past eight

Nymtoc
10-23-2010, 11:41 AM
In New Haven they bake a fine pizza
With the pizza dough laid out on sheet-za.
The people, they wait
Till quarter past eight
Then gorge themselves on the rare treat-za.

If writers can't rhyme what I write

MidlifeMark
10-23-2010, 05:15 PM
Their efforts are flimsy and trite.

flyingtart
10-23-2010, 05:17 PM
If writers can't rhyme what I write
Their efforts are flimsy and trite.
It's simple enough

MidlifeMark
10-23-2010, 05:30 PM
If writers can't rhyme what I write
Their efforts are flimsy and trite.
It's simple enough
It's just not that tough

Nymtoc
10-23-2010, 09:08 PM
If writers can't rhyme what I write
Their efforts are flimsy and trite.
It's simple enough
It's just not that tough
At least if you struggle all night.

My pet is a two-headed rat

MidlifeMark
10-23-2010, 09:11 PM
My pet is a two-headed rat
that hasn't the brains of a gnat

iLion
10-23-2010, 09:17 PM
My pet is a two-headed rat
that hasn't the brains of a gnat
He runs into walls

Matera the Mad
10-23-2010, 09:50 PM
My pet is a two-headed rat
that hasn't the brains of a gnat
He runs into walls
And down stairs he falls

iLion
10-23-2010, 09:58 PM
My pet is a two-headed rat
that hasn't the brains of a gnat
He runs into walls
And down stairs he falls
And hides in the mouth of my cat.

Some spys are tapping my phone

flyingtart
10-23-2010, 11:35 PM
Some spies are tapping my phone
I wish they would leave me alone

MidlifeMark
10-23-2010, 11:36 PM
Some spies are tapping my phone
I wish they would leave me alone
They trail me down streets

Nymtoc
10-24-2010, 12:00 AM
Some spies are tapping my phone
I wish they would leave me alone
They trail me down streets,
Spike my Marguerites,

MidlifeMark
10-24-2010, 01:59 AM
Some spies are tapping my phone
I wish they would leave me alone
They trail me down streets,
Spike my Marguerites,
Then skulk off to places unknown.

I'd rather drink whiskey than beer

flyingtart
10-24-2010, 01:46 PM
I'd rather drink whiskey than beer
But it makes me moody, I fear

MidlifeMark
10-24-2010, 03:11 PM
I'd rather drink whiskey than beer
But it makes me moody, I fear
They tell me that whiskey

StephanieFox
10-24-2010, 08:19 PM
I'd rather drink whiskey than beer
But it makes me moody, I fear
They tell me that whiskey
Can make a lad frisky,

MidlifeMark
10-24-2010, 09:00 PM
I'd rather drink whiskey than beer
But it makes me moody, I fear
They tell me that whiskey
Can make a lad frisky,
Yet beer makes one's rear inspire fear.

For beer causes noxious clouds

Matera the Mad
10-24-2010, 10:17 PM
For beer causes noxious clouds
Embarrassing when one's in crowds

MidlifeMark
10-25-2010, 02:15 AM
For beer causes noxious clouds
Embarrassing when one's in crowds
And one little poof

archerjoe
10-25-2010, 06:22 AM
For beer causes noxious clouds
Embarrassing when one's in crowds
And one little poofAn odius goof

Nymtoc
10-25-2010, 07:04 AM
For beer causes noxious clouds
Embarrassing when one's in crowds
And one little poof
An odius goof
Turns the silences into alouds.

A hot dog with mustard is bliss

Albedo of Zero
10-25-2010, 08:37 AM
A hot dog with mustard is bliss
if topped with a fat slice of Swiss

Sir_Nigel
10-25-2010, 11:27 AM
A hot dog with mustard is bliss
if topped with a fat slice of Swiss
That slaughterhouse waste

flyingtart
10-25-2010, 12:29 PM
A hot dog with mustard is bliss
if topped with a fat slice of Swiss
That slaughterhouse waste
Is magic to taste

Sir_Nigel
10-25-2010, 01:25 PM
A hot dog with mustard is bliss
if topped with a fat slice of Swiss
That slaughterhouse waste
Is magic to taste
But I reckon I’ll give it a miss.


‘I’m afraid it’s a rather tight squeeze ‘

Apsu
10-25-2010, 01:40 PM
‘I’m afraid it’s a rather tight squeeze ‘
Constipated and forced to my knees,

flyingtart
10-25-2010, 01:59 PM
‘I’m afraid it’s a rather tight squeeze ‘
Constipated and forced to my knees,
Yoga's not for me

Nymtoc
10-25-2010, 02:49 PM
‘I’m afraid it’s a rather tight squeeze ‘
Constipated and forced to my knees,
Yoga's not for me
I'll just go climb a tree

iLion
10-25-2010, 08:51 PM
‘I’m afraid it’s a rather tight squeeze ‘
Constipated and forced to my knees,
Yoga's not for me
I'll just go climb a tree
And drop kumquats on people I sees.

My dog bit a man on the butt

StephanieFox
10-25-2010, 09:15 PM
My dog bit a man on the butt
Which is better than gnawing his nut

Nymtoc
10-25-2010, 09:18 PM
My dog bit a man on the butt
Which is better than gnawing his nut
However, the man

iLion
10-25-2010, 09:29 PM
My dog bit a man on the butt
Which is better than gnawing his nut
However, the man
had his own plan

Nymtoc
10-25-2010, 09:49 PM
My dog bit a man on the butt
Which is better than gnawing his nut
However, the man
had his own plan
So he simply bit into the mutt.

Meg Minnifer lived in a trailer

iLion
10-25-2010, 09:52 PM
Meg Minnifer lived in a trailer
and hated her husband, the sailor.

flyingtart
10-25-2010, 09:55 PM
Meg Minnifer lived in a trailer
and hated her husband, the sailor.
"When he goes to sea

Nymtoc
10-25-2010, 10:11 PM
Meg Minnifer lived in a trailer
and hated her husband, the sailor.
"When he goes to sea
I'm finally free

StephanieFox
10-26-2010, 12:11 AM
Meg Minnifer lived in a trailer
and hated her husband, the sailor.
"When he goes to sea
I'm finally free
To go dancing with Mavis the tailor.


I'm stuffing a cabbage with meat

Nymtoc
10-26-2010, 12:31 AM
I'm stuffing a cabbage with meat
Although it's a dish some won't eat

MidlifeMark
10-26-2010, 06:28 AM
I'm stuffing a cabbage with meat
Although it's a dish some won't eat
They don't know what's good

iLion
10-26-2010, 06:56 AM
I'm stuffing a cabbage with meat
Although it's a dish some won't eat
They don't know what's good
'cause they eat in the hood

Nymtoc
10-26-2010, 07:36 AM
I'm stuffing a cabbage with meat
Although it's a dish some won't eat
They don't know what's good
'cause they eat in the hood
Where food is impossibly sweet.

The candidate swore she would be

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2010, 12:01 PM
The candidate swore she would be
an small-minded bigot like me

flyingtart
10-26-2010, 12:22 PM
The candidate swore she would be
a small-minded bigot like me
But she doesn't know

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2010, 12:36 PM
The candidate swore she would be
a small-minded bigot like me
But she doesn't know
I’m a sexist pig so

flyingtart
10-26-2010, 02:48 PM
The candidate swore she would be
a small-minded bigot like me
But she doesn't know
I’m a sexist pig so
The joke is on her, hee hee hee!


Hallowe'en's not far away

Nymtoc
10-26-2010, 04:11 PM
Now, Hallowe'en's not far away*
I'll be treat-or-treating all day






*The line needed another syllable :)

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2010, 04:34 PM
Now, Hallowe'en's not far away
I'll be tricking-or-treating all day
With my menacing pumpkin (rhyme that)

Nymtoc
10-26-2010, 04:48 PM
Now, Hallowe'en's not far away
I'll be tricking-or-treating all day
With my menacing pumpkin,
Costumed as a bumpkin,

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2010, 05:16 PM
Now, Hallowe'en's not far away
I'll be tricking-or-treating all day
With my menacing pumpkin,
costumed as a bumpkin
who’s been caught in a baler of hay.


She let out a hideous cackle

flyingtart
10-26-2010, 05:46 PM
She let out a hideous cackle
That made all her broken teeth crackle

archerjoe
10-26-2010, 07:54 PM
She let out a hideous cackle
That made all her broken teeth crackle
She belched up a toad

Nymtoc
10-26-2010, 08:20 PM
She let out a hideous cackle
That made all her broken teeth crackle
She belched up a toad
With some worms à la mode

Pthom
10-27-2010, 02:27 AM
She let out a hideous cackle
That made all her broken teeth crackle
She belched up a toad
With some worms à la mode
And the head of a partly-chewed grackle.



I'm off to the Cape by the sea
To see them launch spacecraft, whoopie!
It's the very last one
For Discovery, my son
And it's something I just have to see.

:D (see you guys next Thursday)

And now, on with the game:

If you can't be good, just be good at it.

Nymtoc
10-27-2010, 03:56 AM
If you can't be good, just be good at it.
If the pitch is good, make sure you bat it.

flyingtart
10-27-2010, 10:36 AM
If you can't be good, just be good at it.
If the pitch is good, make sure you bat it.
These banal homilies

Sir_Nigel
10-27-2010, 11:34 AM
If you can't be good, just be good at it.
If the pitch is good, make sure you bat it.
These banal homilies
have rhythmic anomalies

Nymtoc
10-27-2010, 12:10 PM
If you can't be good, just be good at it.
If the pitch is good, make sure you bat it.
These banal homilies
have rhythmic anomalies,
I find them annoying, drat it!

In Shakespeare's accursed Scottish play

flyingtart
10-27-2010, 01:14 PM
In Shakespeare's accursed Scottish play
One character seems rather fey

Sir_Nigel
10-27-2010, 05:26 PM
In Shakespeare's accursed Scottish play
One character seems rather fey
I wouldn’t say who

flyingtart
10-27-2010, 06:14 PM
In Shakespeare's accursed Scottish play
One character seems rather fey
I wouldn’t say who
That would never do

Sir_Nigel
10-27-2010, 06:42 PM
In Shakespeare's accursed Scottish play
One character seems rather fey
I wouldn’t say who
That would never do
We better just keep it that way


'It moved!' cried the twitchy embalmer

iLion
10-27-2010, 09:01 PM
'It moved!' cried the twitchy embalmer.
'I'll drink till I feel much calmer.'

Nymtoc
10-27-2010, 09:19 PM
'It moved!' cried the twitchy embalmer.
'I'll drink till I feel somewhat calmer,
And should the corpse choose

flyingtart
10-27-2010, 09:48 PM
'It moved!' cried the twitchy embalmer.
'I'll drink till I feel somewhat calmer,
And should the corpse choose
To sample my booze

Nymtoc
10-27-2010, 10:12 PM
'It moved!' cried the twitchy embalmer.
'I'll drink till I feel somewhat calmer,
And should the corpse choose
To sample my booze
I'll reckon that he's Jeffrey Dahmer.

Miss Miggsley was strict with her class

iLion
10-28-2010, 05:51 AM
Miss Miggsley was strict with her class
She never would take any sass

flyingtart
10-28-2010, 12:46 PM
Miss Miggsley was strict with her class
She never would take any sass
But one day young Sean

Nymtoc
10-28-2010, 03:21 PM
Miss Miggsley was strict with her class
She never would take any sass
But one day young Sean
Said, "F**k!" with a yawn

archerjoe
10-28-2010, 09:25 PM
Miss Miggsley was strict with her class
She never would take any sass
But one day young Sean
Said, "F**k!" with a yawn
He landed outside on his ass

He jumped up and threatened to sue

flyingtart
10-28-2010, 10:03 PM
He jumped up and threatened to sue
He raved till his face turned bright blue

Nymtoc
10-29-2010, 01:49 AM
He jumped up and threatened to sue
He raved till his face turned bright blue
But Miggsley just laughed

StephanieFox
10-29-2010, 03:28 AM
He jumped up and threatened to sue
He raved till his face turned bright blue
But Miggsley just laughed
Because President Taft

MidlifeMark
10-29-2010, 04:47 AM
He jumped up and threatened to sue
He raved till his face turned bright blue
But Miggsley just laughed
Because President Taft
was her great, great grandfather, that's who!

I'm holding back gas at both ends

StephanieFox
10-29-2010, 05:46 AM
I'm holding back gas at both ends
Afraid what I'll do to my friends.

Nymtoc
10-29-2010, 07:01 AM
I'm holding back gas at both ends
Afraid what I'll do to my friends.
But still, before long

flyingtart
10-29-2010, 11:58 AM
I'm holding back gas at both ends
Afraid what I'll do to my friends.
But still, before long
There'll be a queer pong

Nymtoc
10-29-2010, 01:19 PM
I'm holding back gas at both ends
Afraid what I'll do to my friends
But still, before long
There'll be a queer pong
And a vaporous cloud that offends.

Matilda swore she'd never wed

flyingtart
10-29-2010, 01:45 PM
Matilda swore she'd never wed
Yet took multitudes into her bed

MidlifeMark
10-29-2010, 04:06 PM
Matilda swore she'd never wed
Yet took multitudes into her bed
As she gave each her tour,

iLion
10-29-2010, 08:50 PM
Matilda swore she'd never wed
Yet took multitudes into her bed
As she gave each her tour,
complete with brochure,

Nymtoc
10-29-2010, 09:02 PM
Matilda swore she'd never wed
Yet took multitudes into her bed
As she gave each her tour,
complete with brochure,
They were filmed by a cam overhead.

I heard a strange knock at my door

iLion
10-29-2010, 09:08 PM
I heard a strange knock at my door
And heard someone say "Nevermore"

flyingtart
10-29-2010, 09:53 PM
I heard a strange knock at my door
And heard someone say "Nevermore"
It wasn't a ghost

MidlifeMark
10-29-2010, 10:29 PM
I heard a strange knock at my door
And heard someone say "Nevermore"
It wasn't a ghost
Or a heavenly host

donroc
10-30-2010, 12:11 AM
I heard a strange knock at my door
And heard someone say "Nevermore"
It wasn't a ghost
Or a heavenly host
'Twas Raven that repetitive bore.

He arranged a Lovecrafted fate

Nymtoc
10-30-2010, 12:28 AM
He arranged a Lovecrafted fate
Where Rats in the Walls might await

MidlifeMark
10-30-2010, 12:52 AM
He arranged a Lovecrafted fate
Where Rats in the Walls might await
But tables were turned

Preacher'sWife
10-30-2010, 07:43 AM
He arranged a Lovecrafted fate
Where Rats in the Walls might await
But tables were turned
When one lover learned

Nymtoc
10-30-2010, 12:47 PM
He arranged a Lovecrafted fate
Where Rats in the Walls might await
But tables were turned
When one lover learned
What had really been burned in the grate.

A cloud drifted over the moon

flyingtart
10-30-2010, 01:32 PM
A cloud drifted over the moon
For midday that was really too soon

MidlifeMark
10-30-2010, 04:15 PM
A cloud drifted over the moon
For midday that was really too soon
But the weather forecast

archerjoe
10-30-2010, 06:36 PM
A cloud drifted over the moon
For midday that was really too soon
But the weather forecast
Stated "Bad weather fast!"

flyingtart
10-30-2010, 06:57 PM
A cloud drifted over the moon
For midday that was really too soon
But the weather forecast
Stated "Bad weather fast!"
And tomorrow some sun, that's a boon!


While Dracula sharpened his fangs

donroc
10-30-2010, 07:10 PM
While Dracula sharpened his fangs
Miss clueless combed out her blonde bangs

archerjoe
10-30-2010, 10:54 PM
While Dracula sharpened his fangs
Miss clueless combed out her blonde bangs
Her décolletage

flyingtart
10-30-2010, 11:55 PM
While Dracula sharpened his fangs
Miss clueless combed out her blonde bangs
Her décolletage
His lust did assuage

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 12:24 AM
While Dracula sharpened his fangs
Miss clueless combed out her blonde bangs
Her décolletage
His lust did assuage
Til he learned that her bangs were from gangs.

A butcher, while honing his cleaver,

Albedo of Zero
10-31-2010, 12:47 AM
A butcher, while honing his cleaver,
thought of herbs to put on the beaver

iLion
10-31-2010, 01:13 AM
A butcher, while honing his cleaver,
thought of herbs to put on the beaver
catnip and cumin

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 01:49 AM
A butcher, while honing his cleaver,
thought of herbs to put on the beaver
catnip and cumin
and garlic to drum in

iLion
10-31-2010, 04:48 AM
A butcher, while honing his cleaver,
thought of herbs to put on the beaver
catnip and cumin
and garlic to drum in
and now he's got hot mountain fever.

There on the dining room table

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 05:53 AM
There on the dining room table
Lay a blonde-haired bimbo named Mabel.

Nymtoc
10-31-2010, 10:00 AM
There on the dining room table
Lay a blonde bimbo named Mabel.
She wore not a stitch

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 04:07 PM
There on the dining room table
Lay a blonde bimbo named Mabel.
She wore not a stitch
But her partner, named Mitch,

flyingtart
10-31-2010, 04:30 PM
There on the dining room table
Lay a blonde bimbo named Mabel.
She wore not a stitch
But her partner, named Mitch,
Thought she must be mentally unstable.


I'm all geared for Nanowrimo

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 07:42 PM
I'm all geared for Nanowrimo
I've rented a long black limo

archerjoe
10-31-2010, 07:52 PM
I'm all geared for Nanowrimo
I've rented a long black limo
I'll type in the back

iLion
10-31-2010, 08:00 PM
I'm all geared for Nanowrimo
I've rented a long black limo
I'll type in the back
using my Mac

Nymtoc
10-31-2010, 09:35 PM
I'm all geared for Nanowrimo
I've rented a long black limo
I'll type in the back
using my Mac
Then stop and work out at the gym. Oh?

When Richard the Third wanted power

MidlifeMark
10-31-2010, 11:18 PM
When Richard the Third wanted power
He'd climb to the top of his tower

Matera the Mad
11-01-2010, 05:38 AM
When Richard the Third wanted power
He'd climb to the top of his tower
Where he'd take off his socks

Nymtoc
11-01-2010, 06:07 AM
When Richard the Third wanted power
He'd climb to the top of his tower
Where he'd take off his socks
And fill them with rocks

flyingtart
11-01-2010, 03:44 PM
When Richard the Third wanted power
He'd climb to the top of his tower
Where he'd take off his socks
And fill them with rocks
Then go home and have a cold shower


Will Shakespeare is oft called the Bard

Nymtoc
11-01-2010, 05:29 PM
Will Shakespeare is oft called the Bard
Of course, he was also a card

donroc
11-01-2010, 06:49 PM
Will Shakespeare is oft called the Bard
Of course, he was also a card
His puns are delicious

iLion
11-01-2010, 08:04 PM
Will Shakespeare is oft called the Bard
Of course, he was also a card
His puns are delicious
And ne'er superstitious

flyingtart
11-01-2010, 10:57 PM
Will Shakespeare is oft called the Bard
Of course, he was also a card
His puns are delicious
And ne'er superstitious
But his metre is terribly hard.


A business exec thought logistics

Nymtoc
11-02-2010, 03:34 AM
A business exec thought logistics
Should always be handled by mystics

Preacher'sWife
11-02-2010, 04:38 AM
A business exec thought logistics
Should always be handled by mystics
They use crystal balls

Matera the Mad
11-02-2010, 08:58 AM
A business exec thought logistics
Should always be handled by mystics
They use crystal balls
That they buy in the malls

Sir_Nigel
11-02-2010, 01:23 PM
A business exec thought logistics
Should always be handled by mystics
They use crystal balls
That they buy in the malls
I think it’s a load of ballistics


Two gentlemen, one with a beard

Nymtoc
11-02-2010, 01:33 PM
A business exec thought logistics
Should always be handled by mystics
They use crystal balls
That they buy in the malls
I think it's a load of ballistics.

Two gentlemen, one with a beard,
Suddenly both disappeared

flyingtart
11-02-2010, 02:49 PM
Two gentlemen, one with a beard,
Suddenly both disappeared
Their rascally faces

iLion
11-02-2010, 04:18 PM
Two gentlemen, one with a beard,
Suddenly both disappeared
Their rascally faces
in post office places

Sir_Nigel
11-02-2010, 05:33 PM
Two gentlemen, one with a beard,
Suddenly both disappeared
Their rascally faces
in post office places
were removed as the populace cheered.


He suddenly figured it out

Rufus Coppertop
11-02-2010, 06:05 PM
He suddenly figured it out,
announcing it with a great shout.

Nymtoc
11-02-2010, 07:29 PM
He suddenly figured it out,
announcing it with a great shout.
"The world is a bubble!"

iLion
11-02-2010, 08:00 PM
He suddenly figured it out,
announcing it with a great shout.
"The world is a bubble!"
"and only gives trouble"

archerjoe
11-02-2010, 10:17 PM
He suddenly figured it out,
announcing it with a great shout.
"The world is a bubble!"
"and only gives trouble"
"I'm dumping Budweiser for stout."

Admiring her hair in the mirror

Nymtoc
11-02-2010, 10:26 PM
Admiring her hair in the mirror
She said, "I look like Norma Shearer"

flyingtart
11-02-2010, 11:44 PM
Admiring her hair in the mirror
She said, "I look like Norma Shearer"
But the mirror it lied

donroc
11-03-2010, 12:01 AM
Admiring her hair in the mirror
She said, "I look like Norma Shearer"
But the mirror it lied
"You're Thalberg," it cried

Nymtoc
11-03-2010, 01:36 AM
Admiring her hair in the mirror
She said, "I look like Norma Shearer"
But the mirror it lied
"You're Thalberg," it cried,
"And Joan Crawford would be the first sneerer."

She wandered alone through the gloom

donroc
11-03-2010, 03:15 AM
She wandered alone through the gloom
Humming Jack Benny's themE LOVE IN BLOOM

MidlifeMark
11-03-2010, 04:27 AM
She wandered alone through the gloom
Humming Jack Benny's themE LOVE IN BLOOM
Then her GPS failed

Sir_Nigel
11-03-2010, 01:24 PM
She wandered alone through the gloom
Humming Jack Benny's theme LOVE IN BLOOM
Then her GPS failed
“Oh bollox” she wailed

Nymtoc
11-03-2010, 02:18 PM
She wandered alone through the gloom
Humming Jack Benny's theme LOVE IN BLOOM
Then her GPS failed
“Oh bollox” she wailed,
"Is this Kansas or is it Khartoum?"

My psychiatrist thinks he's a horse

flyingtart
11-03-2010, 05:37 PM
My psychiatrist thinks he's a horse
He consults in a stable of course

iLion
11-03-2010, 07:59 PM
My psychiatrist thinks he's a horse
He consults in a stable of course
For "no" he says "neigh!"

flyingtart
11-03-2010, 08:41 PM
My psychiatrist thinks he's a horse
He consults in a stable of course
For "no" he says "neigh!"
And he eats lots of hay

iLion
11-03-2010, 08:46 PM
My psychiatrist thinks he's a horse
He consults in a stable of course
For "no" he says "neigh!"
And he eats lots of hay
and makes me ride him by force.

I'm Jack, and my sister is Jill

Nymtoc
11-04-2010, 03:14 AM
I'm Jack, and my sister is Jill
And our half-witted cousin is Bill

MidlifeMark
11-04-2010, 03:20 AM
I'm Jack, and my sister is Jill
And our half-witted cousin is Bill
Our parents divorced

donroc
11-04-2010, 05:16 AM
I'm Jack, and my sister is Jill
And our half-witted cousin is Bill
Our parents divorced
With lawyers outsourced

Nymtoc
11-04-2010, 06:28 AM
I'm Jack, and my sister is Jill
And our half-witted cousin is Bill
Our parents divorced
With lawyers outsourced
No wonder we're feeling so ill.

"I'll write something chilling," said Charlotte

Matera the Mad
11-04-2010, 09:05 AM
"I'll write something chilling," said Charlotte
"About zombies who ravish a harlot!"

flyingtart
11-04-2010, 11:09 AM
"I'll write something chilling," said Charlotte
"About zombies who ravish a harlot!"
But while she was writing

iLion
11-04-2010, 04:13 PM
"I'll write something chilling," said Charlotte
"About zombies who ravish a harlot!"
But while she was writing
She felt it exciting

Sir_Nigel
11-04-2010, 05:53 PM
"I'll write something chilling," said Charlotte
"About zombies who ravish a harlot!"
But while she was writing
She felt it exciting -
The Dead-Ravished Floozie in Scarlett


Enough of the wayward undead

archerjoe
11-04-2010, 05:58 PM
Enough of the wayward undead
Let's talk of the living, instead

flyingtart
11-04-2010, 06:35 PM
Enough of the wayward undead
Let's talk of the living, instead
They might be a bore

iLion
11-04-2010, 09:20 PM
Enough of the wayward undead
Let's talk of the living, instead
They might be a bore
But the gore is a chore

flyingtart
11-04-2010, 11:06 PM
Enough of the wayward undead
Let's talk of the living, instead
They might be a bore
But the gore is a chore
Let's take all that horror as read.


I do hate the month of November

iLion
11-05-2010, 01:03 AM
I do hate the month of November;
In August I shunned clothes - remember?

Nymtoc
11-05-2010, 03:17 AM
I do hate the month of November;
In August I shunned clothes - remember?
I strolled around bare

MidlifeMark
11-05-2010, 05:10 AM
I do hate the month of November;
In August I shunned clothes - remember?
I strolled around bare
Which gave folks a scare

Nymtoc
11-05-2010, 05:41 AM
I do hate the month of November;
In August I shunned clothes - remember?
I strolled around bare
Which gave folks a scare
Hee-hee! I'll do worse in December!

My parrot is writing this verse

Matera the Mad
11-05-2010, 09:31 AM
My parrot is writing this verse
I suppose it's good he doesn't curse

Sir_Nigel
11-05-2010, 01:07 PM
My parrot is writing this verse
I suppose it's good he doesn't curse
So what rhymes with Squawk?

Nymtoc
11-05-2010, 02:17 PM
My parrot is writing this verse
I suppose it's good he doesn't curse
So what rhymes with Squawk?
He writes salty talk

flyingtart
11-05-2010, 02:24 PM
My parrot is writing this verse
I suppose it's good he doesn't curse
So what rhymes with Squawk?
He writes salty talk
And my love he won't reimburse.


My nano story is a farce

MidlifeMark
11-05-2010, 04:11 PM
My nano story is a farce
My sentences don't even parse

archerjoe
11-05-2010, 04:24 PM
My nano story is a farce
My sentences don't even parse
The coffee shop closed

MidlifeMark
11-05-2010, 04:45 PM
My nano story is a farce
My sentences don't even parse
The coffee shop closed
Why do you suppose

Sir_Nigel
11-05-2010, 05:31 PM
“My nano story is a farce
My sentences don't even parse
The coffee shop closed
Why, do you suppose?”
- asked the baffled Norwegian called Lars


Whilst baffled Norwegians are few

flyingtart
11-05-2010, 07:03 PM
Whilst baffled Norwegians are few
You can usually spot one in a queue

MidlifeMark
11-05-2010, 07:15 PM
Whilst baffled Norwegians are few
You can usually spot one in a queue
As opposed to the Swedes

donroc
11-05-2010, 08:10 PM
Whilst baffled Norwegians are few
You can usually spot one in a queue
As opposed to the Swedes
And Danes smoking weeds

Nymtoc
11-05-2010, 08:32 PM
Whilst baffled Norwegians are few
You can usually spot one in a queue
As opposed to the Swedes
And Danes smoking weeds
And Finns who prefer to sniff glue.

When Nell went to swim in the lake

archerjoe
11-05-2010, 09:05 PM
When Nell went to swim in the lake
She was eyed up-and-down by young Jake

flyingtart
11-05-2010, 09:09 PM
When Nell went to swim in the lake
She was eyed up-and-down by young Jake
That randy cow poke

iLion
11-05-2010, 09:15 PM
When Nell went to swim in the lake
She was eyed up-and-down by young Jake
That randy cow poke
was thinkin' "breaststroke!"