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Matera the Mad
09-20-2010, 05:50 AM
I'm hoping to win the grand prize
with my kumquat of record size
It's as big as Kong's thumb

flyingtart
09-20-2010, 01:47 PM
I'm hoping to win the grand prize
with my kumquat of record size
It's as big as Kong's thumb
And resembles him bum

Sir_Nigel
09-20-2010, 02:33 PM
I'm hoping to win the grand prize
with my kumquat of record size
It's as big as Kong's thumb
And resembles his bum
being hairy and swarming with flies.


He fell from a very great height

flyingtart
09-20-2010, 03:27 PM
He fell from a very great height
And broke a few bones, as one might

Sir_Nigel
09-20-2010, 03:52 PM
He fell from a very great height
And broke a few bones, as one might
The sickening splat

iLion
09-20-2010, 08:32 PM
He fell from a very great height
And broke a few bones, as one might
The sickening splat
From tons of fat

flyingtart
09-20-2010, 09:53 PM
He fell from a very great height
And broke a few bones, as one might
The sickening splat
From tons of fat
Made one woman's hair set alight.


While plucking duck feathers one morn

iLion
09-20-2010, 11:25 PM
While plucking duck feathers one morn
My underwear somehow got torn

Nymtoc
09-21-2010, 12:11 AM
While plucking duck feathers one morn
My underwear somehow got torn
Alas! What to do?

Sir_Nigel
09-21-2010, 11:45 AM
While plucking duck feathers one morn
My underwear somehow got torn
Alas! What to do?
Really Officer – it’s true.

flyingtart
09-21-2010, 01:23 PM
While plucking duck feathers one morn
My underwear somehow got torn
Alas! What to do?
Really Officer – it’s true.
There is no need to view me with scorn.


My toothbrush is really surprising

Nymtoc
09-21-2010, 02:05 PM
My toothbrush is really surprising
It talks, and it won't stop advising

iLion
09-21-2010, 03:45 PM
My toothbrush is really surprising
It talks, and it won't stop advising
It warns of decay

flyingtart
09-21-2010, 03:51 PM
My toothbrush is really surprising
It talks, and it won't stop advising
It warns of decay
Most every day

Sir_Nigel
09-21-2010, 04:50 PM
My toothbrush is really surprising
It talks, and it won't stop advising
It warns of decay
Most every day
A pain in the ass I’m surmising.


And speaking of chatty utensils

donroc
09-21-2010, 07:13 PM
And speaking of chatty utensils
I have some quite literate pencils

flyingtart
09-21-2010, 07:55 PM
And speaking of chatty utensils
I have some quite literate pencils
Their high aspirations

Nymtoc
09-21-2010, 09:29 PM
And speaking of chatty utensils
I have some quite literate pencils
Their high aspirations
Refine my notations

donroc
09-21-2010, 09:36 PM
And speaking of chatty utensils
I have some quite literate pencils
Their high aspirations
Refine my notations
Which I then apply to some old stencils.

I got high on mimeograph fluid

Nymtoc
09-21-2010, 09:51 PM
I got high on mimeograph fluid
And convinced myself I was a druid

flyingtart
09-21-2010, 11:01 PM
I got high on mimeograph fluid
And convinced myself I was a druid
I stripped myself bare

RevisionIsTheKey
09-22-2010, 01:29 AM
I got high on mimeograph fluid
And convinced myself I was a druid
I stripped myself bare
Smeared my butt with éclair

Nymtoc
09-22-2010, 03:17 AM
I got high on mimeograph fluid
And convinced myself I was a druid
I stripped myself bare
Smeared my butt with éclair,
And my dose, too. Don't dow what I'm dooid'.

Someday I will be a great star

Albedo of Zero
09-22-2010, 08:33 AM
Someday I will be a great star
and get away from these clowns in this car

flyingtart
09-22-2010, 12:13 PM
Someday I will be a great star
and get away from these clowns in this car
I'll sit by my pool

Sir_Nigel
09-22-2010, 12:47 PM
Someday I will be a great star
and get away from these clowns in this car
I'll sit by my pool
with a prostitute who’ll....

Rufus Coppertop
09-22-2010, 12:57 PM
Someday I will be a great star
and get away from these clowns in this car
I'll sit by my pool
with a prostitute who’ll
tickle my feet from afar.

Those clowns in the car were quite mad,

flyingtart
09-22-2010, 01:13 PM
Those clowns in the car were quite mad,
And yet it was terribly sad

Nymtoc
09-22-2010, 01:30 PM
Those clowns in the car were quite mad,
And yet it was terribly sad
I tried not to cry

Sir_Nigel
09-22-2010, 02:09 PM
Those clowns in the car were quite mad,
And yet it was terribly sad
I tried not to cry
At the tragic drive-by

flyingtart
09-22-2010, 02:19 PM
Those clowns in the car were quite mad,
And yet it was terribly sad
I tried not to cry
At the tragic drive-by
Till they crashed and invented a fad.


My cousin belongs in a zoo

Nymtoc
09-22-2010, 03:08 PM
My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu

Sir_Nigel
09-22-2010, 04:55 PM
My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his lady friend Deborah

Rufus Coppertop
09-22-2010, 05:06 PM
My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his lady friend Deborah

My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his lady friend Deborah,
made socks for a zebra

Nymtoc
09-22-2010, 07:55 PM
My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his lady friend Deborah,
made socks for a zebra


:rant: We find ourselves in another one of those no-rhyme situations that we've been trying to avoid. There are no known rhymes for "Deborah," at least not in the English language. "Zebra" is a nice try, but not a true rhyme. To solve this problem, I'm changing the first of the two lines. Anyone who's dissatisfied with this can meet me behind the bar at midnight, and we'll settle it the old-fashioned way. :Headbang:

My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his friend who's a Libra
made socks for a zebra

iLion
09-22-2010, 08:45 PM
My cousin belongs in a zoo
In fact, he resembles a gnu
his friend who's a Libra
made socks for a zebra
And maybe a pair for you.

My laptop sends pictures of me

flyingtart
09-22-2010, 10:51 PM
My laptop sends pictures of me
To a good friend in Coventry

Nymtoc
09-22-2010, 11:19 PM
My laptop sends pictures of me
To a good friend in Coventry
The pics are exotic

RevisionIsTheKey
09-23-2010, 01:27 AM
My laptop sends pictures of me
To a good friend in Coventry
The pics are exotic
Though I look psychotic

iLion
09-23-2010, 02:44 AM
My laptop sends pictures of me
To a good friend in Coventry
The pics are exotic
Though I look psychotic
'cause I'm naked and hugging a tree.

I sat on a cactus today

Nymtoc
09-23-2010, 03:44 AM
I sat on a cactus today
in Spain, so I shouted "¡Olé!"

Sir_Nigel
09-23-2010, 11:52 AM
I sat on a cactus today
in Spain, so I shouted "¡Olé!"
And “Ooh ooh ow ow”

Nymtoc
09-23-2010, 12:53 PM
I sat on a cactus today
in Spain, so I shouted "¡Olé!"
And “Ooh ooh ow ow”
And then a kind cow

flyingtart
09-23-2010, 02:11 PM
I sat on a cactus today
in Spain, so I shouted "¡Olé!"
And “Ooh ooh ow ow”
And then a kind cow
Healed it up with a mouthful of hay.


Lucilla is sailing for Chile

Sir_Nigel
09-23-2010, 02:14 PM
Lucilla is sailing for Chile
with a fat greasy roadie named Billy

Rufus Coppertop
09-23-2010, 03:12 PM
Lucilla is sailing for Chile
with a fat greasy roadie named Billy

Lucilla is sailing for Chile
with a fat greasy roadie named Billy
who once was a drummer

Nymtoc
09-23-2010, 08:06 PM
Lucilla is sailing for Chile
with a fat greasy roadie named Billy
who once was a drummer
who drove a pink Hummer

iLion
09-23-2010, 08:31 PM
Lucilla is sailing for Chile
with a fat greasy roadie named Billy
who once was a drummer
who drove a pink Hummer
And now just looks dumb and silly.

I asked my new boss for a raise

Nymtoc
09-23-2010, 10:47 PM
I asked my new boss for a raise
His laughter could be heard for days

flyingtart
09-23-2010, 10:55 PM
I asked my new boss for a raise
His laughter could be heard for days
He told me instead

Nymtoc
09-23-2010, 10:58 PM
I asked my new boss for a raise
His laughter could be heard for days
He told me instead
To go soak my head

iLion
09-24-2010, 12:52 AM
I asked my new boss for a raise
His laughter could be heard for days
He told me instead
To go soak my head
So now I work with malaise.


My aunt is a terrible driver

donroc
09-24-2010, 03:15 AM
My aunt is a terrible driver
When she plays the fairway with a fiver

flyingtart
09-24-2010, 01:39 PM
My aunt is a terrible driver
When she plays the fairway with a fiver
And her terrible putts

Sir_Nigel
09-24-2010, 01:45 PM
My aunt is a terrible driver
When she plays the fairway with a fiver
And her terrible putts
make her look like a klutz

Nymtoc
09-24-2010, 02:31 PM
My aunt is a terrible driver
When she plays the fairway with a fiver
And her terrible putts
make her look like a klutz
She'd do better to ape Jenny Diver.

Young Prudence got lost in the glen

flyingtart
09-24-2010, 02:31 PM
Young Prudence got lost in the glen
While ogling hundreds of men

donroc
09-24-2010, 04:31 PM
Young Prudence got lost in the glen
While ogling hundreds of men
I showed her my sporran

Sir_Nigel
09-24-2010, 05:13 PM
Young Prudence got lost in the glen
While ogling hundreds of men
I showed her my sporran
She said ‘Ah - Ecuadoran’

oneblindmouse
09-24-2010, 05:54 PM
Young Prudence got lost in the glen
While ogling hundreds of men
I showed her my sporran
She said ‘Ah - Ecuadoran.
Why don't you come into my den?"

He proffered a small bunch of heather

Sir_Nigel
09-24-2010, 06:45 PM
He proffered a small bunch of heather
and some fetishist gear made of leather

Nymtoc
09-24-2010, 06:54 PM
He proffered a small bunch of heather
and some fetishist gear made of leather
She said with a wink,

flyingtart
09-24-2010, 07:26 PM
He proffered a small bunch of heather
and some fetishist gear made of leather
She said with a wink,
"Now that makes me think

iLion
09-24-2010, 08:05 PM
He proffered a small bunch of heather
and some fetishist gear made of leather
She said with a wink,
"Now that makes me think
it's to tickle my regions neather."


Snowy weather is coming too soon

oneblindmouse
09-25-2010, 12:02 AM
"Snowy weather is coming too soon,"
lamented the Man in the Moon

Nymtoc
09-25-2010, 12:16 AM
"Snowy weather is coming too soon,"
lamented the Man in the Moon
"That lucky old sun

RevisionIsTheKey
09-25-2010, 07:27 AM
"Snowy weather is coming too soon,"
lamented the Man in the Moon
"That lucky old sun
gets to have all the fun

flyingtart
09-25-2010, 01:40 PM
"Snowy weather is coming too soon,"
lamented the Man in the Moon
"That lucky old sun
gets to have all the fun
What a shame he's a slovenly goon."


The Sun heard this and wasn't impressed

Nymtoc
09-25-2010, 03:29 PM
The Sun heard this and wasn't impressed
"That loon needs a lunacy test!

Lavern08
09-25-2010, 06:57 PM
The Sun heard this and wasn't impressed
"That loon needs a lunacy test!
He gave him a pencil

flyingtart
09-25-2010, 10:33 PM
The Sun heard this and wasn't impressed
"That loon needs a lunacy test!"
He gave him a pencil
And told him to stencil

Albedo of Zero
09-26-2010, 06:48 AM
The Sun heard this and wasn't impressed
"That loon needs a lunacy test!"
He gave him a pencil
And told him to stencil
some clothes since the man was undressed.


The north wind was full of hot air

iLion
09-26-2010, 07:07 AM
The north wind was full of hot air;
Thonged sunners were getting the stare

flyingtart
09-26-2010, 11:48 AM
The north wind was full of hot air;
Thonged sunners were getting the stare
And so they tried

iLion
09-26-2010, 10:16 PM
The north wind was full of hot air;
Thonged sunners were getting the stare.
And so they tried
Their butts to hide

Nymtoc
09-26-2010, 10:22 PM
The north wind was full of hot air;
Thonged sunners were getting the stare.
And so they tried
Their butts to hide
With a cream puff or chocolate éclair.

I've made plans for this Halloween

donroc
09-26-2010, 10:43 PM
I've made plans for this Halloween
That excludes the fool Charlie Sheen

flyingtart
09-27-2010, 10:50 AM
I've made plans for this Halloween
That excludes the fool Charlie Sheen
I'm going to dress up

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2010, 12:48 PM
I've made plans for this Halloween
That excludes the fool Charlie Sheen
I'm going to dress up
as the Rugby League Cup

Nymtoc
09-27-2010, 01:17 PM
I've made plans for this Halloween
That excludes the fool Charlie Sheen
I'm going to dress up
as the Rugby League Cup
and do things that are slightly obscene.

My uncle makes fabulous soup

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2010, 04:01 PM
My uncle makes fabulous soup
- a gooey gelatinous gloop

flyingtart
09-27-2010, 04:45 PM
My uncle makes fabulous soup
- a gooey gelatinous gloop
It's full of beans

Sir_Nigel
09-27-2010, 05:05 PM
My uncle makes fabulous soup
- a gooey gelatinous gloop
It's full of beans
Which unfortunately means

iLion
09-27-2010, 08:31 PM
My uncle makes fabulous soup
- a gooey gelatinous gloop
It's full of beans
Which unfortunately means
I'll spend the whole day going *foooop!*.

I tried taking Bean-o one time

flyingtart
09-27-2010, 10:01 PM
I tried taking Bean-o one time
I drink it with lager and lime

RevisionIsTheKey
09-28-2010, 12:02 AM
I tried taking Bean-o one time
I drink it with lager and lime
Now each fart expelled

Matera the Mad
09-28-2010, 08:02 AM
I tried taking Bean-o one time
I drink it with lager and lime
Now each fart expelled
Is the worst ever smelled

Nymtoc
09-28-2010, 08:50 AM
I tried taking Bean-o one time
I drink it with lager and lime
Now each fart expelled
Is the worst ever smelled
Though most dung beetles find it sublime.

In a cave on the island of Crete

Sir_Nigel
09-28-2010, 11:48 AM
In a cave on the island of Crete
lived a hermit named Billy Goat Pete

flyingtart
09-28-2010, 03:21 PM
In a cave on the island of Crete
lived a hermit named Billy Goat Pete
He daubed funny rhymes

Nymtoc
09-28-2010, 03:37 PM
In a cave on the island of Crete
lived a hermit named Billy Goat Pete
He daubed funny rhymes
And used bat bones for chimes

oneblindmouse
09-28-2010, 04:23 PM
In a cave on the island of Crete
lived a hermit named Billy Goat Pete
He daubed funny rhymes
And used bat bones for chimes
And made bonfires of batshit for heat.

But on waking, one cold frosty morning,

iLion
09-28-2010, 08:58 PM
But on waking, one cold frosty morning,
The Creteans gave Pete a stern warning.

Nymtoc
09-28-2010, 09:02 PM
But on waking, one cold frosty morning,
The Creteans gave Pete a stern warning.
"Either fumigate now

flyingtart
09-28-2010, 10:37 PM
But on waking, one cold frosty morning,
The Creteans gave Pete a stern warning.
"Either fumigate now
Or we'll show you how

Nymtoc
09-29-2010, 05:20 AM
But on waking, one cold frosty morning,
The Creteans gave Pete a stern warning.
"Either fumigate now
Or we'll show you how
Hermits flee from our drumming and horning."

No girl was more clever than Sally

RevisionIsTheKey
09-29-2010, 10:57 AM
No girl was more clever than Sally
With the boys she was not one to dally

flyingtart
09-29-2010, 01:35 PM
No girl was more clever than Sally
With the boys she was not one to dally
She preferred her books

Nymtoc
09-29-2010, 02:43 PM
No girl was more clever than Sally
With the boys she was not one to dally
She preferred her books,
And as for her looks

RevisionIsTheKey
09-29-2010, 08:21 PM
No girl was more clever than Sally
With the boys she was not one to dally
She preferred her books,
And as for her looks
She'd too many warts to tally.

The quarterback has a strange tic

Lavern08
09-29-2010, 09:12 PM
The quarterback has a strange tic
They benched him and brought in a Vick

Nymtoc
09-29-2010, 09:26 PM
The quarterback has a strange tic
They benched him and brought in a Vick
But that didn't work

flyingtart
09-29-2010, 10:09 PM
The quarterback has a strange tic
They benched him and brought in a Vick
But that didn't work
The man was a jerk

Nymtoc
09-30-2010, 01:26 PM
The quarterback has a strange tic
They benched him and brought in a Vick
But that didn't work
The man was a jerk
Let's face it. The man was a prick.

A witch has to care for her broom

flyingtart
09-30-2010, 03:32 PM
A witch has to care for her broom
Kept it locked in a large padded room

RevisionIsTheKey
09-30-2010, 11:36 PM
A witch has to care for her broom
Kept it locked in a large padded room
But a mean poltergeist

flyingtart
10-01-2010, 03:16 PM
A witch has to care for her broom
Keep it locked in a large padded room
But a mean poltergeist
Used it once for a heist

slcboston
10-01-2010, 07:00 PM
A witch has to care for her broom
Keep it locked in a large padded room
But a mean poltergeist
Used it once for a heist
And now it's lost some of it's zoom


I once met a mummy in Cairo

Nymtoc
10-01-2010, 09:40 PM
I once met a mummy in Cairo
who, 3,000 years old, was no tyro

RevisionIsTheKey
10-02-2010, 09:18 AM
I once met a mummy in Cairo
who, 3,000 years old, was no tyro
Wrapped up in a shroud

flyingtart
10-02-2010, 03:59 PM
I once met a mummy in Cairo
who, 3,000 years old, was no tyro
Wrapped up in a shroud
He moaned out loud

iLion
10-02-2010, 05:01 PM
I once met a mummy in Cairo
who, 3,000 years old, was no tyro
Wrapped up in a shroud
He moaned out loud
If only I'd not been a Pyro-

Halloween is a day I don't like

Nymtoc
10-02-2010, 05:33 PM
Halloween is a day I don't like
When ghosts appear I go on strike

flyingtart
10-02-2010, 06:51 PM
Halloween is a day I don't like
When ghosts appear I go on strike
Hiding under my bed

Nymtoc
10-02-2010, 07:50 PM
Halloween is a day I don't like
When ghosts appear I go on strike
Hiding under my bed
I avoid the undead

Matera the Mad
10-03-2010, 04:41 AM
Halloween is a day I don't like
When ghosts appear I go on strike
Hiding under my bed
I avoid the undead
And hope the spooks don't steal my bike


There is nothing so round as a pumpkin

Nymtoc
10-03-2010, 07:58 AM
"There is nothing so round as a pumpkin,"
Said Alexander Naumovich Frumkin*






*(1895–1976), Russian electrochemist

flyingtart
10-03-2010, 02:59 PM
"There is nothing so round as a pumpkin,"
Said Alexander Naumovich Frumkin*
But the rest of the class

MidlifeMark
10-04-2010, 06:39 AM
"There is nothing so round as a pumpkin,"
Said Alexander Naumovich Frumkin*
But the rest of the class
told him, "Don't be an ass,
you old electrochemical bumpkin!"

An old airline pilot named Dwayne

flyingtart
10-04-2010, 11:54 AM
An old airline pilot named Dwayne
Once crashed in a beat up biplane

Nymtoc
10-04-2010, 02:13 PM
An old airline pilot named Dwayne
Once crashed in a beat up biplane
He ditched in a lake

flyingtart
10-04-2010, 07:37 PM
An old airline pilot named Dwayne
Once crashed in a beat up biplane
He ditched in a lake
And encountered a snake

archerjoe
10-04-2010, 08:32 PM
An old airline pilot named Dwayne
Once crashed in a beat up biplane
He ditched in a lake
And encountered a snake
His passenger said, "I'm not payin'!"

A bumbling grave robber named Bart

MidlifeMark
10-05-2010, 01:27 AM
A bumbling grave robber named Bart
went digging, in search of a heart.

RevisionIsTheKey
10-05-2010, 01:51 AM
A bumbling grave robber named Bart
went digging, in search of a heart.
He chose the wrong plot

Matera the Mad
10-05-2010, 07:06 AM
A bumbling grave robber named Bart
went digging, in search of a heart.
He chose the wrong plot
Quoth the vampire, "Baht,

flyingtart
10-05-2010, 03:37 PM
A bumbling grave robber named Bart
went digging, in search of a heart.
He chose the wrong plot
Quoth the vampire, "Baht,
You won't find nought here but a fart!"


McTavish, a locksmith from Kent

Sir_Nigel
10-05-2010, 04:25 PM
McTavish, a locksmith from Kent
declared ‘ Doctor, it appears to be bent’

donroc
10-05-2010, 05:46 PM
McTavish, a locksmith from Kent
declared ‘ Doctor, it appears to be bent’
"Take two twigs and duct tape."

flyingtart
10-05-2010, 05:52 PM
McTavish, a locksmith from Kent
declared ‘ Doctor, it appears to be bent’
"Take two twigs and duct tape.
Mold it back into shape,

MidlifeMark
10-05-2010, 08:13 PM
McTavish, a locksmith from Kent
declared ‘ Doctor, it appears to be bent’
"Take two twigs and duct tape.
Mold it back into shape;
Otherwise, find yourself a bent vent."

The Miami field-goal kicker

Nymtoc
10-05-2010, 08:25 PM
"The Miami field-goal kicker" doesn't scan properly. It needs another syllable. :)

Miami's big-time field-goal kicker
Got plastered on Tampa Bay liquor

flyingtart
10-05-2010, 10:38 PM
Miami's big-time field-goal kicker
Got plastered on Tampa Bay liquor
He stripped himself bare

Lavern08
10-05-2010, 11:04 PM
Miami's big-time field-goal kicker
Got plastered on Tampa Bay liquor
He stripped himself bare
And ran outta there

RevisionIsTheKey
10-06-2010, 12:09 AM
Miami's big-time field-goal kicker
Got plastered on Tampa Bay liquor
He stripped himself bare
And ran outta there
To show the police he was quicker.

Good heavens! I've lost my pet ferret!

MidlifeMark
10-06-2010, 02:28 AM
Good heavens! I've lost my pet ferret!
Perhaps I did something to scare it?

Nymtoc
10-06-2010, 05:13 AM
Good heavens! I've lost my pet ferret!
Perhaps I did something to scare it?
I only said, "Boo!"

Matera the Mad
10-06-2010, 05:44 AM
Good heavens! I've lost my pet ferret!
Perhaps I did something to scare it?
I only said, "Boo!"
And it dove in the loo

Nymtoc
10-06-2010, 07:59 AM
Good heavens! I've lost my pet ferret!
Perhaps I did something to scare it?
I only said, "Boo!"
And it dove in the loo
If it doesn't come back, I can't bear it!

I'm digging a well in my yard

Matera the Mad
10-06-2010, 08:12 AM
I'm digging a well in my yard
The back-breaking labor is hard

RevisionIsTheKey
10-06-2010, 08:30 AM
I'm digging a well in my yard
The back-breaking labor is hard
No sign of oil yet

flyingtart
10-06-2010, 11:40 AM
I'm digging a well in my yard
The back-breaking labor is hard
No sign of oil yet
With my luck I'll get

Sir_Nigel
10-06-2010, 04:33 PM
I'm digging a well in my yard
The back-breaking labor is hard
No sign of oil yet
With my luck I'll get
dragged back to my cell by the guard.


‘You’ve startled the duchess’ he said

flyingtart
10-06-2010, 04:52 PM
'You’ve startled the duchess’ he said
'Now take that snakeskin off your head!'

iLion
10-06-2010, 08:25 PM
'You’ve startled the duchess’ he said
'Now take that snakeskin off your head!'
Put on your pants

RevisionIsTheKey
10-06-2010, 10:37 PM
'You’ve startled the duchess’ he said
'Now take that snakeskin off your head!'
Put on your pants,
The Tour's over, Lance

MidlifeMark
10-07-2010, 05:06 AM
'You’ve startled the duchess’ he said
'Now take that snakeskin off your head!'
Put on your pants,
The Tour's over, Lance
Go take a cold shower, instead.

A librarian up in Vermont

Matera the Mad
10-07-2010, 06:43 AM
A librarian up in Vermont
Had a definite preference for font

flyingtart
10-07-2010, 11:58 AM
A librarian up in Vermont
Had a definite preference for font
He tried Comic Sans

Lavern08
10-07-2010, 07:02 PM
A librarian up in Vermont
Had a definite preference for font
He tried Comic Sans
And typed with both hands

Nymtoc
10-07-2010, 08:46 PM
A librarian up in Vermont
Had a definite preference for font
He tried Comic Sans
And typed with both hands
And proceeded to act nonchalant.

Paris Hilton believes she's a star

iLion
10-07-2010, 08:53 PM
Paris Hilton believes she's a star
But really she's only bizzare

flyingtart
10-07-2010, 10:50 PM
Paris Hilton believes she's a star
But really she's only bizarre
Her very odd habits

RevisionIsTheKey
10-07-2010, 11:08 PM
Paris Hilton believes she's a star
But really she's only bizarre
Her very odd habits
And entourage nitwits

RevisionIsTheKey
10-08-2010, 12:39 AM
TWEET! Nym, being too nice to embarrass the Rev in public, sent her a message pointing out that nitwits is not a rhyme for habits. Now that she has sobered up, the Rev has to agree, but in her defense, very few words that would make sense in the rhyme are available. Still, she cannot let the aforementioned weak effort stand:

Paris Hilton believes she's a star
But really she's only bizarre
Her very odd habits
Fur thongs made of rabbits

TWEET! Carry on.

iLion
10-08-2010, 01:04 AM
*Thx coach!

Paris Hilton believes she's a star
But really she's only bizarre
Her very odd habits
Fur thongs made of rabbits
And slips of the nips in her car.

Babies on planes can be loud

archerjoe
10-08-2010, 01:49 AM
Babies on planes can be loud
Annoying the jet-setting crowd

iLion
10-08-2010, 02:30 AM
Babies on planes can be loud
Annoying the jet-setting crowd
They wail and cry

Albedo of Zero
10-08-2010, 02:49 AM
Babies on planes can be loud
Annoying the jet-setting crowd
They wail and cry
and the pilots ask why

Nymtoc
10-08-2010, 03:07 AM
Babies on planes can be loud
Annoying the jet-setting crowd
They wail and cry
and the pilots ask why
We can't chuck them into a cloud.

A new island rose from the sea

Pat~
10-08-2010, 03:09 AM
A new island rose from the sea,
Its mango trees beckoning me

MidlifeMark
10-08-2010, 04:08 AM
A new island rose from the sea,
Its mango trees beckoning me
My hopes were then dashed

MidlifeMark
10-08-2010, 04:57 AM
A new island rose from the sea,
Its mango trees beckoning me
My hopes were then dashed
when the Internet crashed

flyingtart
10-08-2010, 12:31 PM
A new island rose from the sea,
Its mango trees beckoning me
My hopes were then dashed
when the Internet crashed
And I had to dash off for a pee.


Ab-writers are sensitive folks

Sir_Nigel
10-08-2010, 02:20 PM
Ab-writers are sensitive folks
Except for us red-blooded blokes

MidlifeMark
10-08-2010, 03:33 PM
Ab-writers are sensitive folks
Except for us red-blooded blokes
You can say to a guy
what would make ladies cry

flyingtart
10-08-2010, 04:44 PM
Ab-writers are sensitive folks
Except for us red-blooded blokes
You can say to a guy
what would make ladies cry
And they just toss them round like some jokes.


But Cecil is very austere

archerjoe
10-08-2010, 04:48 PM
But Cecil is very austere
No smile crossed his face in a year

MidlifeMark
10-08-2010, 05:21 PM
But Cecil is very austere
No smile crossed his face in a year
His wife, he ignores

MidlifeMark
10-08-2010, 06:59 PM
But Cecil is very austere
No smile crossed his face in a year
His wife, he ignores
Spends evenings indoors

Pthom
10-08-2010, 09:41 PM
But Cecil is very austere
No smile crossed his face in a year
His wife, he ignores
Spends evenings indoors
Reading volumes on how to make beer.

He has just one problem: the hops.

Nymtoc
10-08-2010, 09:57 PM
He has just one problem: the hops.
They make his brew bitter. It flops.

flyingtart
10-08-2010, 10:16 PM
He has just one problem: the hops.
They make his brew bitter. It flops.
So in desperation

RevisionIsTheKey
10-09-2010, 01:59 AM
He has just one problem: the hops.
They make his brew bitter. It flops.
So in desperation
He phoned an Alsatian

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 02:44 AM
He has just one problem: the hops.
They make his brew bitter. It flops.
So in desperation
He phoned an Alsatian
and here's where this Limerick stops.

My airplane is tucked in the hangar,

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 05:32 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 06:20 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.
The season is turning,

iLion
10-09-2010, 06:21 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.
The season is turning,
My passion is burning

Qbynewbie
10-09-2010, 06:22 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.
The season is turning,
And pilots are yearning

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 06:22 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.
The season is turning,
and pilots are yearning
to fly to Augusta and Bangor. ;)

Qbynewbie
10-09-2010, 06:22 AM
Oops! I was too late!! Sorry! :D

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 06:40 AM
My airplane is tucked in the hangar,
the leaves on the trees fall in languor.
The season is turning,
and pilots are yearning
to fly to Augusta and Bangor. ;)

Oops, forgot the next line. This one's for you, Brian! ;)

My plane spends its time in the shop;
I just had to buy a new prop.

Qbynewbie
10-09-2010, 07:03 AM
My plane spends its time in the shop;
I just had to buy a new prop.
But my engine is back :D

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 07:06 AM
My plane spends its time in the shop;
I just had to buy a new prop.
But my engine is back :D
And the crank had no crack

Qbynewbie
10-09-2010, 07:13 AM
My plane spends its time in the shop;
I just had to buy a new prop.
But my engine is back :D
And the crank had no crack.
It's time to go for a hop!

iLion
10-09-2010, 07:14 AM
My plane spends its time in the shop;
I just had to buy a new prop.
But my engine is back :D
And the crank had no crack
And my flying has been a big flop.

This Autumn I'll make apple cidar

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 07:21 AM
This Autumn I'll make apple cider
My daughter will help me; I'll guide her

flyingtart
10-09-2010, 01:52 PM
This Autumn I'll make apple cider
My daughter will help me; I'll guide her
We'll gather the fruit

Nymtoc
10-09-2010, 03:28 PM
This Autumn I'll make apple cider
My daughter will help me; I'll guide her
We'll gather the fruit,
Then puree--not dilute!

MidlifeMark
10-09-2010, 04:35 PM
This Autumn I'll make apple cider
My daughter will help me; I'll guide her
We'll gather the fruit,
Then puree--not dilute!
This project will surely excite her.

A puppy is coming to visit

flyingtart
10-09-2010, 08:01 PM
A puppy is coming to visit
And I won't have much time to quiz it

Nymtoc
10-09-2010, 08:32 PM
A puppy is coming to visit
And I won't have much time to quiz it
They tell me it's smart

iLion
10-09-2010, 08:46 PM
A puppy is coming to visit
And I won't have much time to quiz it
They tell me it's smart
And has a big heart

Matera the Mad
10-10-2010, 06:42 AM
A puppy is coming to visit
And I won't have much time to quiz it
They tell me it's smart
And has a big heart
I just hope that it knows its limits.

My cat does not like canine guests

RevisionIsTheKey
10-10-2010, 07:14 AM
My cat does not like canine guests
To him they are nothing but pests

flyingtart
10-10-2010, 02:50 PM
My cat does not like canine guests
To him they are nothing but pests
He'll sit on the stair

MidlifeMark
10-10-2010, 05:04 PM
My cat does not like canine guests
To him they are nothing but pests
He'll sit on the stair
He'll spit, hiss, and glare

MidlifeMark
10-10-2010, 06:35 PM
My cat does not like canine guests
To him they are nothing but pests
He'll sit on the stair
He'll spit, hiss, and glare,
aiming virtual cat arbalests.

The essence of orthogonality
is when things maintain their neutrality

flyingtart
10-10-2010, 07:25 PM
The essence of orthogonality
is when things maintain their neutrality
But to someone like me

MidlifeMark
10-10-2010, 07:34 PM
The essence of orthogonality
is when things maintain their neutrality
But to someone like me,
I am struggling to see
what this has to do with reality.

Some folks study the liberal arts

Pthom
10-10-2010, 11:33 PM
[First line meter needs fixing:]

Some study the liberal arts
And some are content to play darts

Nymtoc
10-10-2010, 11:41 PM
Some study the liberal arts
And some are content to play darts
But me? I crave action

MidlifeMark
10-11-2010, 12:49 AM
Some study the liberal arts
And some are content to play darts
But me? I crave action
with noise, smoke, and traction

flyingtart
10-11-2010, 01:34 AM
Some study the liberal arts
And some are content to play darts
But me? I crave action
with noise, smoke, and traction
And anything that gives me farts.


Munchhausen was out on his yacht

Nymtoc
10-11-2010, 04:10 PM
Munchhausen was out on his yacht
With the mermaids he'd cleverly got

archerjoe
10-11-2010, 08:46 PM
Munchhausen was out on his yacht
With the mermaids he'd cleverly gotHe spoke with a whale

iLion
10-11-2010, 08:52 PM
Munchhausen was out on his yacht
With the mermaids he'd cleverly got
He spoke with a whale
To get some tail

Nymtoc
10-11-2010, 09:35 PM
Munchhausen was out on his yacht
With the mermaids he'd cleverly got
He spoke with a whale
To get him some tail
But he only got diddly-squat.

The leaves are fast turning to gold

flyingtart
10-11-2010, 10:31 PM
The leaves are fast turning to gold
And the evenings are getting quite cold

Matera the Mad
10-12-2010, 07:39 AM
The leaves are fast turning to gold
And the evenings are getting quite cold
It's time to light fires

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2010, 11:53 AM
The leaves are fast turning to gold
And the evenings are getting quite cold
It's time to light fires
under heretic Friars

flyingtart
10-12-2010, 01:32 PM
The leaves are fast turning to gold
And the evenings are getting quite cold
It's time to light fires
under heretic Friars
(That last line was terribly bold!)


There once was heretic friar

Nymtoc
10-12-2010, 01:41 PM
There once was heretic friar
Who claimed that Saint George was a liar

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2010, 01:54 PM
There once was heretic friar
Who claimed that Saint George was a liar
He said he was braggin’

flyingtart
10-12-2010, 02:58 PM
There once was heretic friar
Who claimed that Saint George was a liar
He said he was braggin’
His courage was saggin'

archerjoe
10-12-2010, 04:27 PM
There once was heretic friar
Who claimed that Saint George was a liar
He said he was braggin’
His courage was saggin'
The wyrm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wyrm)set his trousers on fire

But no one believed his tall tales

MidlifeMark
10-13-2010, 04:11 AM
But no one believed his tall tales
Not even St. Francis de Sales

Matera the Mad
10-13-2010, 09:54 AM
But no one believed his tall tales
Not even St. Francis de Sales
Whose virtuous heart

flyingtart
10-13-2010, 12:07 PM
But no one believed his tall tales
Not even St. Francis de Sales
Whose virtuous heart
Was known from the start

Sir_Nigel
10-13-2010, 01:44 PM
But no one believed his tall tales
Not even St. Francis de Sales
Whose virtuous heart
Was known from the start
(Though later he went of the rails)


He eloped with flighty young nun

flyingtart
10-13-2010, 02:24 PM
He eloped with flighty young nun
They spent over a year on the run

Nymtoc
10-13-2010, 03:40 PM
He eloped with flighty young nun
They spent over a year on the run
Until in Seattle

archerjoe
10-13-2010, 04:52 PM
He eloped with flighty young nun
They spent over a year on the run
Until in Seattle
In one epic battle

flyingtart
10-13-2010, 05:14 PM
He eloped with flighty young nun
They spent over a year on the run
Until in Seattle
In one epic battle
He shot the Archbishop for fun.


She planted her plum tree with care

StephanieFox
10-13-2010, 08:45 PM
She planted her plum tree with care
In the ground instead of the air.

MidlifeMark
10-14-2010, 05:27 AM
She planted her plum tree with care
In the ground instead of the air.
But it yielded no plums

Nymtoc
10-14-2010, 06:19 AM
She planted her plum tree with care
In the ground instead of the air.
But it yielded no plums
And even her chums

MidlifeMark
10-14-2010, 06:33 AM
She planted her plum tree with care
In the ground instead of the air.
But it yielded no plums
And even her chums
Remarked upon its branches bare.

I've just spent a fortune on pottery

RevisionIsTheKey
10-14-2010, 09:46 AM
I've just spent a fortune on pottery
And some have described me as doddery

flyingtart
10-14-2010, 12:12 PM
I've just spent a fortune on pottery
And some have described me as doddery
But when it comes to clay

Nymtoc
10-14-2010, 02:51 PM
I've just spent a fortune on pottery
And some have described me as doddery
But when it comes to clay
Blue glaze makes my day

flyingtart
10-14-2010, 03:15 PM
I've just spent a fortune on pottery
And some have described me as doddery
But when it comes to clay
Blue glaze makes my day
It's better than winning the lottery.


Delilah the pole dancer said

Sir_Nigel
10-14-2010, 04:34 PM
Delilah the pole dancer said
'Will you please let me out of this shed'

Nymtoc
10-14-2010, 08:45 PM
Delilah the pole dancer said
'Will you please let me out of this shed?
I've got work to do

iLion
10-14-2010, 08:58 PM
Delilah the pole dancer said
'Will you please let me out of this shed?
I've got work to do
Shaking tatas at you

Lavern08
10-14-2010, 09:03 PM
Delilah the pole dancer said
'Will you please let me out of this shed?
I've got work to do
Shaking tatas at you
Unaware that her captor was dead.

I think I just found Kaiser's keys

iLion
10-14-2010, 09:08 PM
I think I just found Kaiser's keys
while crawling around on my knees

Nymtoc
10-15-2010, 12:06 AM
I think I just found Kaiser's keys
while crawling around on my knees
But you'll never guess

MidlifeMark
10-15-2010, 02:58 AM
I think I just found Kaiser's keys
while crawling around on my knees
But you'll never guess
And I won't confess

StephanieFox
10-15-2010, 04:54 AM
I think I just found Kaiser's keys
while crawling around on my knees
But you'll never guess
And I won't confess
How his keys ended up in the cheese.


I've been watching the saga of miners

MidlifeMark
10-15-2010, 04:56 AM
You're up, Stephanie. Give us a line!

archerjoe
10-15-2010, 05:02 AM
I've been watching the saga of miners
And listening to silly one-liners

flyingtart
10-15-2010, 11:50 AM
I've been watching the saga of miners
And listening to silly one-liners
If I hear one more joke

Nymtoc
10-15-2010, 01:49 PM
I've been watching the saga of miners
And listening to silly one-liners
If I hear one more joke
I'd probably choke

flyingtart
10-15-2010, 02:03 PM
I've been watching the saga of miners
And listening to silly one-liners
If I hear one more joke
I'd probably choke
And dish out some well-deserved shiners.


Do not be a miner in Chile

Apsu
10-15-2010, 02:06 PM
Do not be a miner in Chile
Unless you don't mind looking silly

MidlifeMark
10-15-2010, 03:07 PM
Do not be a miner in Chile
Unless you don't mind looking silly
I can think of few ways

Lavern08
10-15-2010, 08:48 PM
Do not be a miner in Chile
Unless you don't mind looking silly
I can think of few ways
To spend all your days

archerjoe
10-15-2010, 09:02 PM
Do not be a miner in Chile
Unless you don't mind looking silly
I can think of few ways
To spend all your days
Lip-syncing to Milli Vanilli

Vanilla Ice has a new TV show is this beat is acceptable?

iLion
10-15-2010, 09:53 PM
Vanilla Ice has a new TV show
Flipping homes, if you wanted to know.