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flyingtart
07-01-2010, 04:46 PM
Let's shuffle the cards for a game
I promise no two are the same
Double or quits

K1P1
07-01-2010, 06:22 PM
Let's shuffle the cards for a game
I promise no two are the same
Double or quits
Come try it, you gits!

Sir_Nigel
07-01-2010, 06:43 PM
Let's shuffle the cards for a game
I promise no two are the same
Double or quits
Come try it, you gits!

I can’t decide between:
-shrieked the gambling pantomime dame
- then he dropped the whole pack – that’s a shame.
- Untrustworthy Jack was his name
-But the punchline turned out to be lame

you can have ‘em all.



He just couldn’t make up his mind

Nymtoc
07-01-2010, 06:49 PM
He just couldn't make up his mind
He didn't know which clock to wind

flyingtart
07-01-2010, 07:22 PM
He just couldn't make up his mind
He didn't know which clock to wind
And so instead

Nymtoc
07-01-2010, 08:17 PM
He just couldn't make up his mind
He didn't know which clock to wind
And so instead
He took to his bed

flyingtart
07-01-2010, 11:02 PM
He just couldn't make up his mind
He didn't know which clock to wind
And so instead
He took to his bed
An hourglass of a different kind


Matilda was caught in the act

donroc
07-01-2010, 11:13 PM
Matilda was caught in the act
Of boffing an autodidact

talkwrite
07-01-2010, 11:52 PM
Matilda was caught in the act
Of boffing an autodidact
" It's not what you think"

K1P1
07-02-2010, 02:42 AM
Matilda was caught in the act
Of boffing an autodidact
" It's not what you think"
We were just on the brink

RevisionIsTheKey
07-02-2010, 06:17 AM
Matilda was caught in the act
Of boffing an autodidact
"It's not what you think
We were just on the brink
Of ousting a Faustian pact."

Young Pierpont was filled with regret

Nymtoc
07-02-2010, 06:22 AM
Young Pierpont was filled with regret
He had lost his racehorse on a bet

CatSlave
07-02-2010, 07:04 AM
Young Pierpont was filled with regret
He had lost his racehorse on a bet
What a foolish mistake

Matera the Mad
07-02-2010, 08:13 AM
Young Pierpont was filled with regret
He had lost his racehorse on a bet
What a foolish mistake
-- the last he would make!

Sir_Nigel
07-02-2010, 11:27 AM
Young Pierpont was filled with regret
He had lost his racehorse on a bet
What a foolish mistake
-- the last he would make!
No, he hasn’t made another as yet.



The empire was starting to crumble

flyingtart
07-02-2010, 12:26 PM
The empire was starting to crumble
Forces lined up for a rumble

CatSlave
07-02-2010, 02:51 PM
The empire was starting to crumble
Forces lined up for a rumble
There was fear in the ranks

Sir_Nigel
07-02-2010, 05:55 PM
The empire was starting to crumble
Forces lined up for a rumble
There was fear in the ranks
from the Gauls and the Franks

donroc
07-02-2010, 06:50 PM
The empire was starting to crumble
Forces lined up for a rumble
There was fear in the ranks
from the Gauls and the Franks
While they prayed Attila would bumble.

The Huns were malodorous scum

StephanieFox
07-02-2010, 07:11 PM
The Huns were malodorous scum
But they dressed with a certain aplomb

flyingtart
07-02-2010, 07:39 PM
The Huns were malodorous scum
But they dressed with a certain aplomb
In their red satin hose

Nymtoc
07-02-2010, 08:49 PM
The Huns were malodorous scum
But they dressed with a certain aplomb
In their red satin hose
With lavender bows

donroc
07-02-2010, 10:36 PM
The Huns were malodorous scum
But they dressed with a certain aplomb
In their red satin hose
With lavender bows
And a smile on each little bum.

"You soiled my antimacassar!"

flyingtart
07-02-2010, 11:18 PM
"You soiled my antimacassar!"
Cried the irate Principle of Vassar

CatSlave
07-03-2010, 02:07 AM
"You soiled my antimacassar!"
Cried the irate Principle of Vassar
And how dare you grin

Albedo of Zero
07-03-2010, 05:50 AM
"You soiled my antimacassar!"
Cried the irate Principle of Vassar
And how dare you grin
My doily's done in!

Nymtoc
07-03-2010, 07:27 AM
"You soiled my antimacassar!"
Cried the irate Principle of Vassar
And how dare you grin
My doily's done in!
And you are the world's worst harasser!"

Come meet me tonight at the mill

CatSlave
07-03-2010, 10:11 AM
Come meet me tonight at the mill
We'll go 'round and 'round for a thrill

Nightfly
07-03-2010, 12:32 PM
Come meet me tonight at the mill
We'll go 'round and 'round for a thrill
And when no one's lookin'

smsarber
07-03-2010, 12:51 PM
Come meet me tonight at the mill
We'll go 'round and 'round for a thrill
And when no one's lookin'
Our heat'll be cookin'

Nymtoc
07-03-2010, 01:25 PM
Come meet me tonight at the mill
We'll go 'round and 'round for a thrill
And when no one's lookin'
Our heat'll be cookin'
Without some goldarn motel bill.

"Don't eat so much mustard," she said

flyingtart
07-03-2010, 01:41 PM
"Don't eat so much mustard," she said
"It will cause untold harm to your head!"

smsarber
07-03-2010, 02:20 PM
"Don't eat so much mustard," she said
"It will cause untold harm to your head!"
So I slathered my dog

flyingtart
07-03-2010, 09:54 PM
"Don't eat so much mustard," she said
"It will cause untold harm to your head!"
So I slathered my dog
With the guts of a hog

CatSlave
07-03-2010, 10:56 PM
"Don't eat so much mustard," she said
"It will cause untold harm to your head!"
So I slathered my dog
With the guts of a hog
And some sauerkraut and onions instead.

The hotdog still made me quite ill

K1P1
07-03-2010, 11:32 PM
The hotdog still made me quite ill
Even though it did nothing to fill

CatSlave
07-04-2010, 02:46 AM
The hotdog still made me quite ill
Even though it did nothing to fill
My junk food obsession

Nightfly
07-04-2010, 03:28 AM
The hotdog still made me quite ill
Even though it did nothing to fill
My junk food obsession
"Well, there's our next session"

StephanieFox
07-04-2010, 08:46 AM
The hotdog still made me quite ill
Even though it did nothing to fill
My junk food obsession
"Well, there's are next session"
Which works like a birth control pill.


A senator from Arizona

Matera the Mad
07-04-2010, 08:56 AM
A senator from Arizona
Said, "Perdoneme, gente y doña"

flyingtart
07-04-2010, 11:55 AM
A senator from Arizona
Said, "Perdoneme, gente y doña"
I cannot think why

CatSlave
07-04-2010, 03:31 PM
A senator from Arizona
Said, "Perdoneme, gente y doña"
I cannot think why
The tears in your eye

flyingtart
07-04-2010, 10:39 PM
A senator from Arizona
Said, "Perdoneme, gente y doña"
I cannot think why
The tears in your eye
Make me think of my days in Paloma


I celebrate this holiday

Nightfly
07-04-2010, 11:29 PM
I celebrate this holiday
By strutting like a popinjay

CatSlave
07-05-2010, 12:19 AM
I celebrate this holiday
By strutting like a popinjay
The land of the free

Sir_Nigel
07-05-2010, 11:54 AM
I celebrate this holiday
By strutting like a popinjay
The land of the free
where they run yelling Wheeeee!

CatSlave
07-05-2010, 02:00 PM
I celebrate this holiday
By strutting like a popinjay
The land of the free
where they run yelling Wheeeee!
Should give thanks for our blessings each day.


The fireworks were massive and bright

flyingtart
07-05-2010, 02:15 PM
The fireworks were massive and bright
But to have them indoors wasn't right

CatSlave
07-05-2010, 02:38 PM
The fireworks were massive and bright
But to have them indoors wasn't right
The firemen were mad

Sir_Nigel
07-05-2010, 04:30 PM
The fireworks were massive and bright
But to have them indoors wasn't right
The firemen were mad
with the match toting lad

flyingtart
07-05-2010, 04:49 PM
The fireworks were massive and bright
But to have them indoors wasn't right
The firemen were mad
with the match toting lad
And put him behind bars for the night


The next day he faced the old judge

CatSlave
07-05-2010, 04:53 PM
The next day he faced the old judge
Who gave him a wink and a nudge

Nymtoc
07-05-2010, 05:18 PM
The next day he faced the old judge
Who gave him a wink and a nudge
"When I was a kid

CatSlave
07-05-2010, 05:32 PM
The next day he faced the old judge
Who gave him a wink and a nudge
"When I was a kid
The things that I did

K1P1
07-05-2010, 05:53 PM
The next day he faced the old judge
Who gave him a wink and a nudge
"When I was a kid
The things that I did
Dragged my family's name right through the sludge!"

I'm really from Tristan da Cunha

flyingtart
07-05-2010, 07:53 PM
I'm really from Tristan da Cunha
Where the landscape could not be called lunar

Sir_Nigel
07-06-2010, 11:59 AM
I'm really from Tristan da Cunha
Where the landscape could not be called lunar
They call it remote

Nymtoc
07-06-2010, 03:39 PM
I'm really from Tristan da Cunha
Where the landscape could not be called lunar
They call it remote
There's nary a goat

flyingtart
07-06-2010, 05:04 PM
I'm really from Tristan da Cunha
Where the landscape could not be called lunar
They call it remote
There's nary a goat
And the natives eat mellon and tuna


Mcfarlane's the man of the hour

RevisionIsTheKey
07-06-2010, 09:04 PM
Mcfarlane's the man of the hour
He possesses a magical power

Sir_Nigel
07-07-2010, 11:59 AM
Mcfarlane's the man of the hour
He possesses a magical power
But casting a spell

flyingtart
07-07-2010, 12:22 PM
Mcfarlane's the man of the hour
He possesses a magical power
But casting a spell
Is hard, you can tell

Nymtoc
07-07-2010, 02:42 PM
Mcfarlane's the man of the hour
He possesses a magical power
But casting a spell
Is hard, you can tell
Especially when he's in the shower.

It's so hot here the street's like a griddle

K1P1
07-07-2010, 05:29 PM
Kt's so hot here the street's like a griddle .
It makes me feel sick in my middle.

flyingtart
07-07-2010, 08:28 PM
Kt's so hot here the street's like a griddle .
It makes me feel sick in my middle.
I'll take some iced tea

Nightfly
07-07-2010, 11:09 PM
It's so hot here the street's like a griddle
It makes me feel sick in my middle
I'll take some iced tea
Enough for twice three

RevisionIsTheKey
07-07-2010, 11:26 PM
It's so hot here the street's like a griddle
It makes me feel sick in my middle
I'll take some iced tea
Enough for twice three
So tonight I'll do nothing but piddle.

Old Festus could not find his teeth

donroc
07-07-2010, 11:37 PM
Old Festus could not find his teeth
His son said, They're out on the heath."

Matera the Mad
07-08-2010, 09:03 AM
Old Festus could not find his teeth
His son said, "They're out on the heath."
"Oh, now I recall--

flyingtart
07-08-2010, 09:24 AM
Old Festus could not find his teeth
His son said, "They're out on the heath."
"Oh, now I recall--
I was having a ball

Sir_Nigel
07-08-2010, 11:34 AM
Old Festus could not find his teeth
His son said, "They're out on the heath."
"Oh, now I recall--
I was having a ball
with young Daisy May from Dalkeith


Sadly he waved them goodbye

flyingtart
07-08-2010, 02:13 PM
Sadly he waved them goodbye
Then turned with a glint in his eye

K1P1
07-08-2010, 08:38 PM
Sadly he waved them goodbye
Then turned with a glint in his eye
Thank heavens they're gone

flyingtart
07-08-2010, 11:42 PM
Sadly he waved them goodbye
Then turned with a glint in his eye
Thank heavens they're gone
Now I must call Ron

Matera the Mad
07-09-2010, 06:55 AM
Sadly he waved them goodbye
Then turned with a glint in his eye
Thank heavens they're gone
Now I must call Ron
And tell him it's safe to come nigh!

Troubled waters don't need oil poured on them

flyingtart
07-09-2010, 12:54 PM
Troubled waters don't need oil poured on them
And fools don't need liars to con them

Sir_Nigel
07-09-2010, 01:57 PM
Troubled waters don't need oil poured on them
And fools don't need liars to con them
But bakers knead bread

K1P1
07-09-2010, 06:15 PM
Troubled waters don't need oil poured on them
And fools don't need liars to con them
But bakers knead bread
And fighters kneed Fred

flyingtart
07-09-2010, 07:06 PM
Troubled waters don't need oil poured on them
And fools don't need liars to con them
But bakers knead bread
And fighters kneed Fred
So pick up your knee highs and don them


That last line was tougher I think

Pthom
07-10-2010, 01:32 AM
That last line was tougher I think
'Cause preceding line, it did stink.

StephanieFox
07-10-2010, 04:03 AM
That last line was tougher I think
'Cause preceding line, it did stink.
Of the top of my head,

K1P1
07-10-2010, 06:30 AM
That last line was tougher I think
'Cause preceding line, it did stink.
Of the top of my head,
Which I shampooed with dead

Matera the Mad
07-10-2010, 08:33 AM
That last line was tougher I think
'Cause preceding line, it did stink.
Of the top of my head,
Which I shampooed with dead
Weeds and then rinsed in the sink.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an old story

flyingtart
07-10-2010, 11:55 AM
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an old story
Of the love of two lads, Brad and Rory

K1P1
07-10-2010, 10:30 PM
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an old story
Of the love of two lads, Brad and Rory.
They rode side by side

StephanieFox
07-11-2010, 01:08 AM
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an old story
Of the love of two lads, Brad and Rory.
They rode side by side,
One as groom, one as bride

Nymtoc
07-11-2010, 06:25 AM
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, an old story
Of the love of two lads, Brad and Rory.
They rode side by side,
One as groom, one as bride.
One's a Lib Dem, the other's a Tory.

In the darkness of night came a shriek

RevisionIsTheKey
07-11-2010, 06:57 AM
In the darkness of night came a shriek
Seems old Grandpa decided to streak

Preacher'sWife
07-11-2010, 07:04 AM
In the darkness of night came a shriek
Seems old Grandpa decided to streak
The air was quite chilly

flyingtart
07-11-2010, 03:02 PM
In the darkness of night came a shriek
Seems old Grandpa decided to streak
The air was quite chilly
Which shrivelled his willy

Nymtoc
07-11-2010, 09:31 PM
In the darkness of night came a shriek
Seems old Grandpa decided to streak
The air was quite chilly
Which shrivelled his willy
And kept people laughing all week.

I drove off in your car by mistake

flyingtart
07-11-2010, 11:58 PM
I drove off in your car by mistake
It's an error a halfwit would make

Pthom
07-12-2010, 05:14 AM
I drove off in your car by mistake
It's an error a halfwit would make
But like buttermilk curdles

RevisionIsTheKey
07-12-2010, 07:14 AM
I drove off in your car by mistake
It's an error a halfwit would make
But like buttermilk curdles
And Shatner wears girdles

Nymtoc
07-12-2010, 08:14 AM
I drove off in your car by mistake
It's an error a halfwit would make
But like buttermilk curdles
And Shatner wears girdles
The fact is, I'm kind of a flake.

When Murgatroyd got out of jail

Pthom
07-12-2010, 10:41 AM
When Murgatroyd got out of jail
(For selling ice cream made of hail!)

flyingtart
07-12-2010, 11:54 AM
When Murgatroyd got out of jail
(For selling ice cream made of hail!)
His long suff'ring spouse

The Tin Dog
07-12-2010, 05:15 PM
When Murgatroyd got out of jail
(For selling ice cream made of hail!)
His long suff'ring spouse
Who resembled a mouse

RevisionIsTheKey
07-13-2010, 12:47 AM
When Murgatroyd got out of jail
(For selling ice cream made of hail!)
His long suff'ring spouse
Who resembled a mouse
Feared his interest would be old wife's tail.

Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer

Daisylee
07-13-2010, 03:21 AM
Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer
Convicted for nailing him with a hammer

Nymtoc
07-13-2010, 03:35 AM
*The second line above doesn't scan. It has too many syllables. Alternatives might be:

Convicted for using a hammer

or

Caught nailing the dude with a hammer

Daisylee
07-13-2010, 03:43 AM
Thank you, Nym
So, Ok, I shall work on learning the ins and outs of limerick requirements...

Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer
Convicted for using a hammer

iLion
07-13-2010, 04:17 AM
Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer,
Convicted for using a hammer.
She'd swung at his head

Nymtoc
07-13-2010, 04:26 AM
Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer,
Convicted for using a hammer.
She'd swung at his head
And left him for dead

donroc
07-13-2010, 05:18 AM
Soon Lindsay will be in the slammer,
Convicted for using a hammer.
She'd swung at his head
And left him for dead
For that, she's lost all her glammer.

His knight jumped over the bishop

Matera the Mad
07-13-2010, 08:16 AM
His knight jumped over the bishop
Waving a bouquet of hyssop

flyingtart
07-13-2010, 12:49 PM
His knight jumped over the bishop
Waving a bouquet of hyssop
This wasn't chess

archerjoe
07-13-2010, 05:09 PM
His knight jumped over the bishop
Waving a bouquet of hyssop
This wasn't chess
More like a mess

K1P1
07-13-2010, 05:30 PM
His knight jumped over the bishop
Waving a bouquet of hyssop
This wasn't chess
More like a mess.
Knight-to-Queen wanting to kiss up!

I once had a boyfriend in Chatham

iLion
07-13-2010, 08:53 PM
I once had a boyfriend in Chatham
Who cheated one night with a madam

flyingtart
07-13-2010, 09:59 PM
I once had a boyfriend in Chatham
Who cheated one night with a madam
When he confessed

iLion
07-14-2010, 12:11 AM
I once had a boyfriend in Chatham
Who cheated one night with a madam
When he confessed
As he got undressed

Pthom
07-14-2010, 01:02 AM
I once had a boyfriend in Chatham
Who cheated one night with a madam
When he confessed
As he got undressed
"I'm all out of condoms; you have 'em?"

She snidely did sneer at his faux pas

RevisionIsTheKey
07-14-2010, 05:54 AM
She snidely did sneer at his faux pas
Then saucily mounted her Vespa

Sir_Nigel
07-14-2010, 11:52 AM
She snidely did sneer at his faux pas
Then saucily mounted her Vespa
She loved to ride scooters

flyingtart
07-14-2010, 01:45 PM
(edited to scan better)

She snidely sneered at his faux pas
Then saucily rode her Vespa
She loved to ride scooters
Which showed off her hooters

Sir_Nigel
07-14-2010, 04:37 PM
She snidely sneered at his faux pas
Then saucily rode her Vespa
She loved to ride scooters
Which showed off her hooters
in a top cut exceeding low – hah!


‘I see’ said the grizzled detective

flyingtart
07-14-2010, 04:46 PM
‘I see’ said the grizzled detective
'It would seem that his plot was defective.

RevisionIsTheKey
07-14-2010, 07:39 PM
(edited to scan better)

She snidely sneered at his faux pas
Then saucily rode her Vespa
She loved to ride scooters
Which showed off her hooters

Two thoughts:

1. Flyingtart sure has a pair for correcting Pthom! :eek:
2. But in correcting him, she deleted my perfect verb mounted.
Good thing there's an ocean between us and my schedule is rather full today... :mad:

Nymtoc
07-14-2010, 07:41 PM
‘I see’ said the grizzled detective
'It would seem that his plot was defective.
His fingerprints show

flyingtart
07-14-2010, 08:13 PM
Two thoughts:

1. Flyingtart sure has a pair for correcting Pthom! :eek:
2. But in correcting him, she deleted my perfect verb mounted.
Good thing there's an ocean between us and my schedule is rather full today... :mad:
A pair of what, Rev?
Please don't get upset. As your username says, Revision Is The Key! ;)

RevisionIsTheKey
07-14-2010, 08:28 PM
A pair of what, Rev?
Please don't get upset. As your username says, Revision Is The Key! ;)

As we all know, revision comes from Latin meaning to look at again , to revisit. But, of course, I can never visit my word again because someone—who shall be nameless, but it rhymes with spyingdart—gave it the Mary, Queen of Scots treatment.

RevisionIsTheKey
07-14-2010, 08:37 PM
‘I see’ said the grizzled detective
'It would seem that his plot was defective.
His fingerprints show
Clear traces of blow

talkwrite
07-15-2010, 01:21 AM
I see’ said the grizzled detective
'It would seem that his plot was defective.
His fingerprints show
Clear traces of blow
From the taste, he wasn't even selective.

A fly got caught in a time machine

RevisionIsTheKey
07-15-2010, 05:13 AM
K1P1 responded to the wrong post. Talkwrite has a scan issue. I will move in to give Nymtoc a break from being the bad cop.

A time machine sucked up a fly
And spit it out on Nixon's tie

Matera the Mad
07-15-2010, 10:34 AM
A time machine sucked up a fly
And spit it out on Nixon's tie
The fly flew to the wall

flyingtart
07-15-2010, 11:48 AM
A time machine sucked up a fly
And spit it out on Nixon's tie
The fly flew to the wall
Clearly having a ball
Then landed in Kissinger's eye!

(sorry - couldn't resist finishing it!)


The poor Secretary of State

RevisionIsTheKey
07-15-2010, 12:19 PM
The poor Secretary of State
Is looking quite peaked of late

K1P1
07-15-2010, 06:30 PM
The poor Secretary of State
Is looking quite peaked of late
The world is in turmoil

RevisionIsTheKey
07-16-2010, 12:44 AM
The poor Secretary of State
Is looking quite peaked of late
The world is in turmoil
It's making her blood boil

StephanieFox
07-16-2010, 01:19 AM
The poor Secretary of State
Is looking quite peaked of late
The world is in turmoil
It's making her blood boil
But it's better than trailing her mate.


Pink, they say, is the new black

Pthom
07-16-2010, 01:41 AM
Pink, they say, is the new black
But a coroner might give you flack

Nymtoc
07-16-2010, 02:15 AM
Pink, they say, is the new black
But a coroner might give you flack
To repaint his hearse

Preacher'sWife
07-16-2010, 02:21 AM
Pink, they say, is the new black
But a coroner might give you flack
To repaint his hearse
Just like Miss Piggy's purse

flyingtart
07-16-2010, 12:37 PM
Pink, they say, is the new black
But a coroner might give you flack
To repaint his hearse
Just like Miss Piggy's purse
With a gold lame stole on the back!


A Lim'rick's a troublesome beast

Sir_Nigel
07-16-2010, 12:51 PM
A Lim'rick's a troublesome beast
- said Father O’Leary – a priest

archerjoe
07-16-2010, 02:27 PM
A Lim'rick's a troublesome beast
- said Father O’Leary – a priest
When topics are bawdy

Nymtoc
07-16-2010, 03:41 PM
A Lim'rick's a troublesome beast
- said Father O’Leary – a priest
When topics are bawdy
Some folks say, "Oh, Lawdy!"

Sir_Nigel
07-16-2010, 04:13 PM
A Lim'rick's a troublesome beast
- said Father O’Leary – a priest
When topics are bawdy
Some folks say, "Oh, Lawdy!"
but the appeal is greatly increased



So…..

‘Oh my’ the young chambermaid said

archerjoe
07-16-2010, 05:01 PM
‘Oh my’ the young chambermaid said
There's no room for the crew in my bed

flyingtart
07-16-2010, 05:55 PM
‘Oh my’ the young chambermaid said
There's no room for the crew in my bed
If it's not too shocking

archerjoe
07-16-2010, 06:31 PM
‘Oh my’ the young chambermaid said
There's no room for the crew in my bed
If it's not too shocking
With furniture rocking

K1P1
07-16-2010, 06:58 PM
‘Oh my’ the young chambermaid said
There's no room for the crew in my bed
If it's not too shocking
With furniture rocking
We'll shift them all to the poop deck instead.

If puppies can fall from the air

iLion
07-16-2010, 08:59 PM
If puppies can fall from the air
and kitties rain down without care

Nymtoc
07-16-2010, 09:39 PM
If puppies can fall from the air
and kitties rain down without care
can rats tumble, too?

Pthom
07-17-2010, 12:24 AM
If puppies can fall from the air
And kitties rain down without care
Can rats tumble, too?
If they do, oh, boo hoo!

RevisionIsTheKey
07-17-2010, 01:16 AM
If puppies can fall from the air
And kitties rain down without care
Can rats tumble, too?
If they do, oh, boo hoo!
But only look up if you dare.

While lounging around by the pool

StephanieFox
07-17-2010, 01:23 AM
While lounging around by the pool
While I should have been sitting in school

Nymtoc
07-17-2010, 03:18 AM
While lounging around by the pool
While I should have been sitting in school
I thought up a plan

iLion
07-17-2010, 05:16 AM
While lounging around by the pool
While I should have been sitting in school
I thought up a plan
To be a rich man

K1P1
07-17-2010, 05:21 AM
While lounging around by the pool
While I should have been sitting in school
I thought up a plan
To be a rich man
If I could find enough people to fool

The Ponzi scheme started out fine

iLion
07-17-2010, 05:27 AM
The Ponzi scheme started out fine
But I fear I just drank too much wine

K1P1
07-17-2010, 05:32 AM
The Ponzi scheme started out fine
But I fear I just drank too much wine
I've lost the address

Nymtoc
07-17-2010, 06:07 AM
The Ponzi scheme started out fine
But I fear I just drank too much wine
I've lost the address
Bernie gave me, I guess,

archerjoe
07-17-2010, 08:31 AM
The Ponzi scheme started out fine
But I fear I just drank too much wine
I've lost the address
Bernie gave me, I guess,
Now none of the money is mine

I'm frightened they'll haul me to jail

flyingtart
07-17-2010, 01:23 PM
I'm frightened they'll haul me to jail
For doing my poo in a pail

Nightfly
07-17-2010, 01:33 PM
I'm frightened they'll take me to jail
For doing my poo in a pail
But I can't be blamed

Nymtoc
07-17-2010, 02:46 PM
I'm frightened they'll take me to jail
For doing my poo in a pail
But I can't be blamed
And I'm not ashamed

flyingtart
07-17-2010, 03:06 PM
I'm frightened they'll take me to jail
For doing my poo in a pail
But I can't be blamed
And I'm not ashamed
But when I get sentenced I'll wail


My friend loves her pet caribou

The Tin Dog
07-17-2010, 03:56 PM
My friend loves her pet caribou
Her mooses and antelope too

archerjoe
07-17-2010, 06:25 PM
My friend loves her pet caribou
Her mooses and antelope too
She had to admit

K1P1
07-17-2010, 07:21 PM
My friend loves her pet caribou
Her mooses and antelope too
She had to admit
It's a tight squeeze to fit

Nymtoc
07-17-2010, 08:13 PM
My friend loves her pet caribou
Her mooses and antelope too
She had to admit
It's a tight squeeze to fit
All her pets in her cute little zoo.

Miss Miller performs on a swing

flyingtart
07-17-2010, 09:56 PM
Miss Miller performs on a swing
Wearing quite an assortment of bling

StephanieFox
07-18-2010, 01:25 AM
Miss Miller performs on a swing
Wearing quite an assortment of bling
While she's awing the crowd

Preacher'sWife
07-18-2010, 06:50 AM
Miss Miller performs on a swing
Wearing quite an assortment of bling
While she's awing the crowd
Her squeals get quite loud

Matera the Mad
07-18-2010, 09:36 AM
Miss Miller performs on a swing
Wearing quite an assortment of bling
While she's awing the crowd
Her squeals get quite loud
So earplugs have become quite the thing.

If I knew why pig's tails had that curl

RevisionIsTheKey
07-18-2010, 11:20 AM
If I knew why pig's tails had that curl
I'd give porcine breeding a whirl

flyingtart
07-18-2010, 12:04 PM
If I knew why pig's tails had that curl
I'd give porcine breeding a whirl
But what puts me off

K1P1
07-18-2010, 05:04 PM
If I knew why pig's tails had that curl
I'd give porcine breeding a whirl
But what puts me off
Is they gorge in the trough

donroc
07-18-2010, 05:26 PM
If I knew why pig's tails had that curl
I'd give porcine breeding a whirl
But what puts me off
Is they gorge in the trough
And repeat jokes older than Milton Berle.

A cougar and her boy-toy

RevisionIsTheKey
07-18-2010, 10:16 PM
Slight fix due to lurking limerick lawyers...:)

My cougar aunt and her boy-toy
Flew off to an isle they enjoy

flyingtart
07-18-2010, 10:54 PM
My cougar aunt and her boy-toy
Flew off to an isle they enjoy
She's such an old crone

Nymtoc
07-19-2010, 12:35 AM
My cougar aunt and her boy-toy
Flew off to an isle they enjoy
She's such an old crone
And he's such a young drone

StephanieFox
07-19-2010, 04:00 AM
My cougar aunt and her boy-toy
Flew off to an isle they enjoy
She's such an old crone
And he's such a young drone
That they ended up in Illinois.

The grass, it needs mowing again

K1P1
07-19-2010, 04:50 AM
The grass, it needs mowing again
And Barbie should do it, not Ken

Pthom
07-19-2010, 05:04 AM
The grass, it needs mowing again
And Barbie should do it, not Ken
'Cause she's got the gams

Sir_Nigel
07-19-2010, 11:41 AM
The grass, it needs mowing again
And Barbie should do it, not Ken
'Cause she's got the gams
and the hidden web cams

Nymtoc
07-19-2010, 02:21 PM
The grass, it needs mowing again
And Barbie should do it, not Ken
'Cause she's got the gams
and the hidden web cams
And in Ken's eyes, that doll is a ten.

I think I'll go swimming today

flyingtart
07-19-2010, 02:36 PM
I think I'll go swimming today
At my favourite spot in the bay

K1P1
07-19-2010, 07:19 PM
I think I'll go swimming today
At my favourite spot in the bay
The currents are vicious

Nymtoc
07-19-2010, 07:21 PM
I think I'll go swimming today
At my favourite spot in the bay
The currents are vicious
But I'll be judicious

Preacher'sWife
07-19-2010, 11:36 PM
I think I'll go swimming today
At my favourite spot in the bay
The currents are vicious
But I'll be judicious
If it's bad, I'll just use my bidet!


Gert's girdle is extremely tight
__________________

archerjoe
07-20-2010, 12:22 AM
Gert's girdle is extremely tight
But her figure is quite the delight

donroc
07-20-2010, 12:23 AM
Gert's girdle is extremely tight
But her figure is quite the delight
She's so hour glass

iLion
07-20-2010, 04:44 AM
Gert's girdle is extremely tight
But her figure is quite the delight
She's so hour glass
With a wonderful ass

Nymtoc
07-20-2010, 05:04 AM
Gert's girdle is extremely tight
But her figure is quite the delight
She's so hour glass
With a wonderful ass
That makes gentlemen sigh at the sight.

Ms. Palin invented a word

donroc
07-20-2010, 05:16 AM
Ms. Palin invented a word
That we agreed was quite absurd

Pthom
07-20-2010, 06:33 AM
Ms. Palin invented a word
That we agreed was quite absurd
Then CNN said it

flyingtart
07-20-2010, 12:04 PM
Ms. Palin invented a word
That we agreed was quite absurd
Then CNN said it
They really should edit

Sir_Nigel
07-20-2010, 12:46 PM
Ms. Palin invented a word
That we agreed was quite absurd
Then CNN said it
They really should edit
that dim, pretty, word-mangling bird



‘Ah, treacle’ the vicar declared

flyingtart
07-20-2010, 01:51 PM
‘Ah, treacle’ the vicar declared
And poured it on plums he had pared

Sir_Nigel
07-20-2010, 02:05 PM
‘Ah, treacle’ the vicar declared
And poured it on plums he had pared
‘and jam and molasses!’

Matera the Mad
07-20-2010, 03:03 PM
‘Ah, treacle’ the vicar declared
And poured it on plums he had pared
‘and jam and molasses!’
He then wiped his glasses

flyingtart
07-20-2010, 07:42 PM
‘Ah, treacle’ the vicar declared
And poured it on plums he had pared
‘and jam and molasses!’
He then wiped his glasses
And ate it - surprising he dared!


His gut was so swollen and tender

archerjoe
07-20-2010, 08:24 PM
His gut was so swollen and tender
Results of a seven day bender

K1P1
07-20-2010, 09:29 PM
His gut was so swollen and tender
Results of a seven day bender
But hair of the dog

Pthom
07-20-2010, 10:34 PM
His gut was so swollen and tender
Results of a seven day bender
But hair of the dog
And a few pints of nog

K1P1
07-21-2010, 05:42 AM
His gut was so swollen and tender
Results of a seven day bender
But hair of the dog
And a few pints of nog
And he could 'a been a contender.

There once was an East Ender Lender

iLion
07-21-2010, 06:06 AM
There once was an East Ender Lender
Who loved to give out legal tender

RevisionIsTheKey
07-21-2010, 08:22 AM
There once was an East Ender Lender
Who loved to give out legal tender
To transgender babes

Pthom
07-21-2010, 10:07 AM
There once was an East Ender Lender
Who loved to give out legal tender
To transgender babes
And daughters of slaves

Sir_Nigel
07-21-2010, 11:44 AM
There once was an East Ender Lender
Who loved to give out legal tender
To transgender babes
And daughters of slaves
and sleazy dwarves out on a bender



There was an old man from Peru

flyingtart
07-21-2010, 11:56 AM
There was an old man from Peru
Who lived in a balsa canoe

Sir_Nigel
07-21-2010, 12:22 PM
There was an old man from Peru
Who lived in a balsa canoe
He paddled to Lima

Nightfly
07-21-2010, 01:10 PM
There was an old man from Peru
Who lived in a balsa canoe
He paddled to Lima
Despite emphysema

Nymtoc
07-21-2010, 02:11 PM
There was an old man from Peru
Who lived in a balsa canoe
He paddled to Lima
Despite emphysema
But sadly, he died of the flu.

When Casey struck out, people booed

flyingtart
07-21-2010, 02:49 PM
When Casey struck out, people booed
And spat on the ground where he stood

Sir_Nigel
07-21-2010, 05:27 PM
Booed/Stood? Oh, OK you’re Scottish

When Casey struck out, people booed
And spat on the ground where he stood
‘Och noo!’ he implored

archerjoe
07-21-2010, 05:41 PM
When Casey struck out, people booed
And spat on the ground where he stood
‘Och noo!’ he implored
'You numpty!" they roared

flyingtart
07-21-2010, 05:46 PM
When Casey struck out, people booed
And spat on the ground where he stood
‘Och noo!’ he implored
'You numpty!" they roared
Which sounded most terribly rude.


Sir Nigel is troubled by vowels

Sir_Nigel
07-21-2010, 06:01 PM
Sir Nigel is troubled by vowels
‘Harrumph’ he ill-temperedly growls

archerjoe
07-21-2010, 06:09 PM
Sir Nigel is troubled by vowels
‘Harrumph’ he ill-temperedly growls
'They scratch in my throat'

flyingtart
07-21-2010, 10:17 PM
Sir Nigel is troubled by vowels
‘Harrumph’ he ill-temperedly growls
'They scratch in my throat
So I can't sing a note!'

Nymtoc
07-21-2010, 10:28 PM
Sir Nigel is troubled by vowels
‘Harrumph’ he ill-temperedly growls
'They scratch in my throat
So I can't sing a note!
All I do is make blood-curdling howls!'

There's no way to please flyingtart

flyingtart
07-21-2010, 11:52 PM
There's no way to please flyingtart
Her nitpicking's truly an art

archerjoe
07-22-2010, 12:01 AM
There's no way to please flyingtart
Her nitpicking's truly an art
Nothing gets by her

RevisionIsTheKey
07-22-2010, 04:00 AM
There's no way to please flyingtart
Her nitpicking's truly an art
Nothing gets by her
that human trip wire

K1P1
07-22-2010, 04:26 AM
There's no way to please flyingtart
Her nitpicking's truly an art
Nothing gets by her
that human trip wire
though rude rhymes hold a place in her heart

Double dactyls are quite a production

iLion
07-22-2010, 07:03 AM
Double dactyls are quite a production
Higgeldy-piggeldy is my seduction

RevisionIsTheKey
07-22-2010, 10:43 AM
*Blows on silver whistle to stop the game*

Pthom, having deputized the Rev to make citizen's arrests, will wholeheartedly support the following meter-fix. The Rev's heart is pained to delete higgeldy-piggeldy because it is a perfect double dactly (not to mention fun to say) but that doesn't mean the line fits. To make iLion feel better, her user name has been incorporated into the correction.

*Loud tweet on silver whistle*

Back to the game.


Double dactyls are quite a production
And iLion's well-versed in seduction

Sir_Nigel
07-22-2010, 11:57 AM
Double dactyls are quite a production
And iLion's well-versed in seduction
But mess with his line

flyingtart
07-22-2010, 12:53 PM
(Ooh, Rev - you're impressive when you put your foot down! ;))

Double dactyls are quite a production
And iLion's well-versed in seduction
But mess with his line
And he'll give you a sign

Sir_Nigel
07-22-2010, 01:27 PM
Double dactyls are quite a production
And iLion's well-versed in seduction
But mess with his line
And he'll give you a sign -
a simple two-fingered instruction.




They only use one in the States

Nymtoc
07-22-2010, 03:15 PM
They only use one in the States
It's one of their curious traits

flyingtart
07-22-2010, 06:38 PM
They only use one in the States
It's one of their curious traits
So give it a try

K1P1
07-22-2010, 07:41 PM
They only use one in the States
It's one of their curious traits
So give it a try
You'll see by-and-by

RevisionIsTheKey
07-22-2010, 11:33 PM
To make iLion feel better, her user name has been incorporated into the correction.



*Blast from silver whistle*

The Rev sincerely apologizes for reassigning iLion's gender in her previous post. She hopes this has not caused any psychological confusion for iLion (but she worries because his profile says he often feels discontented) and she will help defray costs of therapy in the event the need arises.

*Blast from silver whistle*


They only use one in the States
It's one of their curious traits
So give it a try
You'll see by-and-by
The interesting time that awaits.

The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle

archerjoe
07-22-2010, 11:42 PM
The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle

K1P1
07-23-2010, 01:05 AM
The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle

I'm sorry, but are you sure the meter of that first line is acceptable? I don't think so...

Nymtoc
07-23-2010, 01:28 AM
I'm sorry, but are you sure the meter of that first line is acceptable? I don't think so...

It would be acceptable if read as follows:

The REV sleeps with HER silver WHIStle.

(admittedly not the way it hits the eye, but it does scan.)

RevisionIsTheKey
07-23-2010, 02:06 AM
It would be acceptable if read as follows:

The REV sleeps with HER silver WHIStle.

(admittedly not the way it hits the eye, but it does scan.)

The Rev thanks Nym for his support, but she also sees K1P1's point and admits she could have done better. It's just that she was rushing off to a stake-out at the home of a poet who was mangling the sonnet form...

StephanieFox
07-23-2010, 03:25 AM
The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle

The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle...

sounds fine to me. That's the way I read it the first time I tried it.


The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle
Held tight in her hand,

Nymtoc
07-23-2010, 04:23 AM
The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle
Held tight in her hand,
It comforts her, and

iLion
07-23-2010, 06:23 AM
The Rev sleeps with her silver whistle
It sure beats a necklace of thistle
Held tight in her hand,
It comforts her, and
Sometimes makes all of us bristle.

It's late and I'm tired and grumpy

Sir_Nigel
07-23-2010, 11:34 AM
It's late and I'm tired and grumpy
said the one-legged rat-catcher Stumpy

flyingtart
07-23-2010, 12:16 PM
(Hey, I thought I was the Nitpicking Queen around here? ;))

It's late and I'm tired and grumpy
said the one-legged rat-catcher Stumpy
My bag's nearly full

Nymtoc
07-23-2010, 06:31 PM
It's late and I'm tired and grumpy
said the one-legged rat-catcher Stumpy
My bag's nearly full
Don't give me no bull

K1P1
07-23-2010, 10:56 PM
It's late and I'm tired and grumpy
said the one-legged rat-catcher Stumpy
My bag's nearly full
Don't give me no bul
And find me a bed that's not lumpy.

In the sky there's just one little cloud

Lavern08
07-23-2010, 11:26 PM
In the sky there's just one little cloud
But the shape of it draws a big crowd

flyingtart
07-23-2010, 11:38 PM
In the sky there's just one little cloud
But the shape of it draws a big crowd
It looks like a horse

Nymtoc
07-24-2010, 12:58 AM
In the sky there's just one little cloud
But the shape of it draws a big crowd
It looks like a horse
Or Thor, god of the Norse,

iLion
07-24-2010, 02:50 AM
In the sky there's just one little cloud
But the shape of it draws a big crowd
It looks like a horse
Or Thor, god of Norse,
But it's naked, so we were all wowed.

Matera the Mad
07-24-2010, 10:05 AM
(fillin' in)
To start a new limerick Bob was bound

flyingtart
07-24-2010, 11:59 AM
(Touch of editing to scan)

Bob had to start a limerick
But could not choose one rhyme to pick

iLion
07-24-2010, 07:55 PM
Bob had to start a limerick
But could not choose one rhyme to pick
His meter was off

flyingtart
07-25-2010, 12:23 PM
Bob had to start a limerick
But could not choose one rhyme to pick
His meter was off
It made people scoff

Nymtoc
07-25-2010, 03:20 PM
Bob had to start a limerick
But could not choose one rhyme to pick
His meter was off
It made people scoff
It even made some people sick.

When Homer was milking the cow

iLion
07-25-2010, 06:21 PM
When Homer was milking the cow
He mistakenly grabbed a fat sow

flyingtart
07-25-2010, 06:43 PM
When Homer was milking the cow
He mistakenly grabbed a fat sow
He yanked at her teat