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Paul
04-19-2010, 01:37 AM
The strongman was taking a break,
Two pies, three beers and a steak
But instead of a beer
He drank what was near.
Which turned out to be Superior lake



A limerick which started most gaily

archerjoe
04-19-2010, 06:22 AM
A limerick which started most gaily
Excited a stinking-drunk Yalie

Albedo of Zero
04-19-2010, 08:04 AM
A limerick which started most gaily
Excited a stinking-drunk Yalie
"Boola boola," he added

Matera the Mad
04-19-2010, 08:34 AM
A limerick which started most gaily
Excited a stinking-drunk Yalie
"Boola boola," he added
With meter too padded

Nymtoc
04-19-2010, 08:42 AM
A limerick which started most gaily
Excited a stinking-drunk Yalie
"Boola boola," he added
With meter too padded
While strumming his blue ukulele.

Though she watered her plants, they all died

CatSlave
04-19-2010, 09:27 AM
Though she watered her plants, they all died
So sorry she felt that she cried

flyingtart
04-19-2010, 10:45 AM
Though she watered her plants, they all died
So sorry she felt that she cried
"I don't understand

CatSlave
04-19-2010, 10:55 AM
Though she watered her plants, they all died
So sorry she felt that she cried
"I don't understand
They all looked so grand

Sir_Nigel
04-19-2010, 11:59 AM
Though she watered her plants, they all died
So sorry she felt that she cried
"I don't understand
They all looked so grand”
‘twas a wilted bouquet for the bride.


I’d say he was mad as a hatter

Paul
04-19-2010, 12:03 PM
I’d say he was mad as a hatter
and that should have ended the matter

Paul
04-19-2010, 12:08 PM
It's not that I don't have a date
It's just she takes time to inflate

Just have to say, i keep re=reading that line and laugh every time. in fact the whole limerick is excellent.

oneblindmouse
04-19-2010, 06:50 PM
I’d say he was mad as a hatter
and that should have ended the matter
But someone like Alice

Nymtoc
04-19-2010, 07:12 PM
Id say he was mad as a hatter
and that should have ended the matter
But someone like Alice
said, "You're being callous"

CDSinex
04-19-2010, 08:28 PM
I’d say he was mad as a hatter
and that should have ended the matter
But someone like Alice
said, "You're being callous,"
"And your clean cups make such a clatter."


There once was a girl named Bo Peep.

RevisionIsTheKey
04-19-2010, 08:36 PM
There once was a girl named Bo Peep
Owned a rehab for wayward sheep

Albedo of Zero
04-19-2010, 10:52 PM
There once was a girl named Bo Peep
Owned a rehab for wayward sheep
The baas and the bleats

talkwrite
04-20-2010, 02:15 AM
There once was a girl named Bo Peep
Owned a rehab for wayward sheep
The baas and the bleats
made this a retreat

Autodidact
04-20-2010, 02:23 AM
There once was a girl named Bo Peep
Owned a rehab for wayward sheep
The baas and the bleats
made this a retreat
although it was quite hard to sleep.


When needing a hangover cure,

CDSinex
04-20-2010, 03:56 AM
When needing a hangover cure,
I once tried ethanol liqueur

archerjoe
04-20-2010, 04:09 AM
When needing a hangover cure,
I once tried ethanol liqueur
The taste was sublime

Paul
04-20-2010, 05:47 AM
When needing a hangover cure,
I once tried ethanol liqueur
The taste was sublime
(like vodka with lime)

Kerlee
04-20-2010, 06:48 AM
When needing a hangover cure,
I once tried ethanol liqueur
The taste was sublime
(like vodka with lime)
The reflux I could not endure




A german was taking his bath

RevisionIsTheKey
04-20-2010, 06:58 AM
A German was taking his bath
And a French boy was doing his math

Nymtoc
04-20-2010, 07:37 AM
A German was taking his bath
And a French boy was doing his math
A whimsical Briton

CDSinex
04-20-2010, 07:42 AM
A German was taking his bath
And a French boy was doing his math
A whimsical Briton
Was feeding his kitten.

Albedo of Zero
04-20-2010, 08:13 AM
A German was taking his bath
And a French boy was doing his math
A whimsical Briton
Was feeding his kitten.
And the author was Sylvia Plath.


The dog tried to howl at the moon

oneblindmouse
04-20-2010, 01:06 PM
The dog tried to howl at the moon
Which left all the cats in a swoon

flyingtart
04-20-2010, 01:39 PM
The dog tried to howl at the moon
Which left all the cats in a swoon
For the sound that he made

oneblindmouse
04-20-2010, 03:14 PM
The dog tried to howl at the moon
Which left all the cats in a swoon
For the sound that he made
Did not lessen or fade

Nymtoc
04-20-2010, 03:56 PM
The dog tried to howl at the moon
Which left all the cats in a swoon
For the sound that he made
Did not lessen or fade
And his howling was all out of tune.

There once was a girl from Miami

flyingtart
04-20-2010, 04:59 PM
There once was a girl from Miami
Who was hooked on the taste of salami

archerjoe
04-20-2010, 07:41 PM
There once was a girl from Miami
Who was hooked on the taste of salami
She went to each deli

Autodidact
04-20-2010, 08:37 PM
There once was a girl from Miami
Who was hooked on the taste of salami
She went to each deli
asking for smelly

CDSinex
04-20-2010, 08:42 PM
There once was a girl from Miami
Who was hooked on the taste of salami
She went to each deli
asking for smelly
But all she could find was pastrami.


This fellow had a taste for the grape.

CatSlave
04-20-2010, 09:16 PM
This fellow had a taste for the grape. WRONG METER

Try this:
This guy had a taste for the grape -or-

A taste for the grape was his sin


da DA da da DA da da DA

See?

flyingtart
04-20-2010, 10:05 PM
This guy had a taste for the grape
But it made him behave like an ape

archerjoe
04-20-2010, 10:15 PM
This guy had a taste for the grape
But it made him behave like an ape
When the cork was popped out

RevisionIsTheKey
04-20-2010, 10:44 PM
This guy had a taste for the grape
But it made him behave like an ape
When the cork was popped out
He lumbered about

Autodidact
04-21-2010, 12:08 AM
This guy had a taste for the grape
But it made him behave like an ape
When the cork was popped out
He lumbered about,
he's now serving ten years for rape.


There once was an author from Dallas

Nymtoc
04-21-2010, 12:32 AM
There once was an author from Dallas
Who, like Hepburn, doted on callas

archerjoe
04-21-2010, 05:32 AM
There once was an author from Dallas
Who, like Hepburn, doted on callas
No ink to his paper

Matera the Mad
04-21-2010, 07:15 AM
There once was an author from Dallas
Who, like Hepburn, doted on callas
No ink to his paper
He'd put, but he'd caper

Nymtoc
04-21-2010, 07:23 AM
There once was an author from Dallas
Who, like Hepburn, doted on callas
No ink to his paper
He'd put, but he'd caper
Then go and get stinko at galas.

When Molly went down to the mall

Matera the Mad
04-21-2010, 07:36 AM
When Molly went down to the mall
She was manic, she wanted it all

flyingtart
04-21-2010, 01:02 PM
When Molly went down to the mall
She was manic, she wanted it all
So she maxed out her visa

Sir_Nigel
04-21-2010, 01:07 PM
When Molly went down to the mall
She was manic, she wanted it all
So she maxed out her visa
(she was no Ebeneezer)

flyingtart
04-21-2010, 01:10 PM
When Molly went down to the mall
She was manic, she wanted it all
So she maxed out her visa
(she was no Ebeneezer)
And dressed up in style for the ball.


Miss Purbright was affianced to Neil

Sir_Nigel
04-21-2010, 01:36 PM
Miss Purbright was affianced to Neil
- and expected, at least, a quick feel

Nymtoc
04-21-2010, 02:49 PM
Miss Purbright was affianced to Neil
- and expected, at least, a quick feel
But Neil was so formal

flyingtart
04-21-2010, 03:59 PM
Miss Purbright was affianced to Neil
- and expected, at least, a quick feel
But Neil was so formal
He thought this abnormal

Sir_Nigel
04-21-2010, 04:19 PM
Miss Purbright was affianced to Neil
- and expected, at least, a quick feel
But Neil was so formal
He thought this abnormal
Plus he longed to be known as Lucille


I seem to have only one shoe

Nymtoc
04-21-2010, 08:14 PM
I seem to have only one shoe
Was one lost when I stepped in that glue?

flyingtart
04-21-2010, 08:22 PM
I seem to have only one shoe
Was one lost when I stepped in that glue?
Now I must hop

Autodidact
04-21-2010, 10:31 PM
I seem to have only one shoe
Was one lost when I stepped in that glue?
Now I must hop
down to the shop

Lavern08
04-21-2010, 10:35 PM
I seem to have only one shoe
Was one lost when I stepped in that glue?
Now I must hop
down to the shop
And purchase anothern brand new.

I once left my cell phone at home

CDSinex
04-21-2010, 11:16 PM
I once left my cell phone at home
Where the deer and the antelope roam.

CatSlave
04-22-2010, 12:20 AM
I once left my cell phone at home
Where the deer and the antelope roam.
Where seldom is heard

archerjoe
04-22-2010, 12:48 AM
I once left my cell phone at home
Where the deer and the antelope roam.
Where seldom is heard
An important word

Nymtoc
04-22-2010, 02:29 AM
I once left my cell phone at home
Where the deer and the antelope roam.
Where seldom is heard
An important word
But my beer mug is topped off with foam.

I lost my guitar in the rain

Matera the Mad
04-22-2010, 07:58 AM
I lost my guitar in the rain
And half the strings broke -- what a pain

flyingtart
04-22-2010, 10:46 AM
I lost my guitar in the rain
And half the strings broke -- what a pain
When it was found

Nymtoc
04-22-2010, 10:52 AM
I lost my guitar in the rain
And half the strings broke -- what a pain
When it was found
It made a weird sound

Sir_Nigel
04-22-2010, 12:21 PM
I lost my guitar in the rain
And half the strings broke -- what a pain
When it was found
It made a weird sound
like a Chinaman trapped in a drain


He sneered as he twirled his moustache

flyingtart
04-22-2010, 12:23 PM
He sneered as he twirled his moustache
And casually flicked off some ash

Sir_Nigel
04-22-2010, 04:29 PM
He sneered as he twirled his moustache
And casually flicked off some ash
The chambermaid blushed

flyingtart
04-22-2010, 07:51 PM
He sneered as he twirled his moustache
And casually flicked off some ash
The chambermaid blushed
Then hurriedly rushed

Autodidact
04-22-2010, 11:21 PM
He sneered as he twirled his moustache
And casually flicked off some ash
The chambermaid blushed
Then hurriedly rushed
away with his sheets and his trash.


There once was a farmer from Boise

RevisionIsTheKey
04-22-2010, 11:41 PM
There once was a farmer from Boise
Who spoke with an accent from Joisey

archerjoe
04-22-2010, 11:45 PM
There once was a farmer from Boise
Who spoke with an accent from Joisey
So when we heard "guido"

CatSlave
04-23-2010, 02:20 AM
There once was a farmer from Boise
Who spoke with an accent from Joisey
So when we heard "guido"
We hoped *not in a Speedo*

flyingtart
04-23-2010, 02:42 PM
There once was a farmer from Boise
Who spoke with an accent from Joisey
So when we heard "guido"
We hoped *not in a Speedo*
For that would be raucous and noisy


A canine companion of mine

Kerlee
04-23-2010, 03:41 PM
A canine companion of mine
bore the tail 'n the snout of a swine

Sir_Nigel
04-23-2010, 04:07 PM
A canine companion of mine
bore the tail 'n the snout of a swine
At the postman he Oinked (rhyme that)

archerjoe
04-23-2010, 04:31 PM
A canine companion of mine
bore the tail 'n the snout of a swine
At the postman he Oinked
'bout the legs he had boinked

Sir_Nigel
04-23-2010, 05:33 PM
A canine companion of mine
bore the tail 'n the snout of a swine
At the postman he Oinked
'bout the legs he had boinked
He’s a pig-doggy porky pink Frankenstein


The creature sat up with a jolt

Nymtoc
04-23-2010, 05:42 PM
The creature sat up with a jolt
"Odds bodkins! I'm starting to molt!"

flyingtart
04-23-2010, 06:47 PM
The creature sat up with a jolt
"Odds bodkins! I'm starting to molt!"
For there on the floor

CDSinex
04-23-2010, 08:10 PM
The creature sat up with a jolt
"Odds bodkins! I'm starting to molt!"
For there on the floor
Were feathers and more

Autodidact
04-23-2010, 10:18 PM
The creature sat up with a jolt
"Odds bodkins! I'm starting to molt!"
For there on the floor
Were feathers and more.
"That's my old boa, you dolt."


For all watching American Idol

flyingtart
04-23-2010, 10:34 PM
For all watching American Idol
(Assuming you're not suicidal)

archerjoe
04-23-2010, 11:02 PM
For all watching American Idol
(Assuming you're not suicidal)
You'll suffer brain drain

Autodidact
04-23-2010, 11:29 PM
For all watching American Idol
(Assuming you're not suicidal)
You'll suffer brain drain
from the mangled refrain

RevisionIsTheKey
04-24-2010, 08:53 AM
For all watching American Idol
(Assuming you're not suicidal)
You'll suffer brain drain
from the mangled refrain:
"Would the host be a groom or a bride-l?"

One late summer night in Biloxi

Nymtoc
04-24-2010, 11:51 AM
One late summer night in Biloxi
My car broke down, and I got stuck, see?*


* :Lecture: To match the correct pronunciation of "Biloxi." :D

flyingtart
04-24-2010, 11:57 AM
One late summer night in Biloxi
My car broke down, and I got stuck, see?
A man in a van

Paul
04-24-2010, 12:03 PM
One late summer night in Biloxi
My car broke down, and I got stuck, see?
A man in a van
(with an allover tan)
______________

flyingtart
04-24-2010, 06:16 PM
One late summer night in Biloxi
My car broke down, and I got stuck, see?
A man in a van
(with an allover tan)
Said "I'll give you a lift far as Wuxi."


For years she had written her book

archerjoe
04-24-2010, 06:55 PM
For years she had written her book
But, alas, none dared take a look

Autodidact
04-25-2010, 12:16 AM
For years she had written her book
But, alas, none dared take a look.
Its pages stayed virgin

RevisionIsTheKey
04-25-2010, 04:10 AM
For years she had written her book
But, alas, none dared take a look.
Its pages stayed virgin
Until the porn version

archerjoe
04-25-2010, 04:19 AM
For years she had written her book
But, alas, none dared take a look.
Its pages stayed virgin
Until the porn version
And that's all the prodding it took

The book was an instant best-seller

RevisionIsTheKey
04-25-2010, 04:46 AM
The book was an instant best-seller
which will no doubt quickly propel her

Matera the Mad
04-25-2010, 08:28 AM
The book was an instant best-seller
which will no doubt quickly propel her
To fortune and fame

CDSinex
04-25-2010, 09:13 AM
The book was an instant best-seller
which will no doubt quickly propel her
To fortune and fame
She'll become a big name

flyingtart
04-25-2010, 09:32 AM
The book was an instant best-seller
which will no doubt quickly propel her
To fortune and fame
She'll become a big name
And rub shoulders with Sting and Paul Weller


Miss Marjory Ethrington-Brooke

archerjoe
04-25-2010, 05:16 PM
Miss Marjory Ethrington-Brooke
Had hips that made pious men look

RevisionIsTheKey
04-25-2010, 11:46 PM
Miss Marjory Ethrington-Brooke
Had hips that made pious men look
Their hypnotic sway

StephanieFox
04-26-2010, 12:51 AM
Miss Marjory Ethrington-Brooke
Had hips that made pious men look
Their hypnotic sway
Had them saying, "Oy vay!"

Kerlee
04-26-2010, 02:50 AM
Miss Marjory Ethrington-Brooke
Had hips that made pious men look
Their hypnotic sway
Had them saying, "Oy vay!"
while pondering thoughts rather crook




The preacher got down on his knees

CDSinex
04-26-2010, 03:29 AM
The preacher got down on his knees
Saying, "Sorry, I dropped several peas."

Paul
04-26-2010, 03:37 AM
The preacher got down on his knees
Saying, "Sorry, I dropped several peas."
A light shone from above

RevisionIsTheKey
04-26-2010, 03:44 AM
The preacher got down on his knees
Saying, "Sorry, I dropped several peas."
A light shone from above,
God's hand gave him a shove,

Autodidact
04-26-2010, 05:17 AM
The preacher got down on his knees
Saying, "Sorry, I dropped several peas."
A light shone from above,
God's hand gave him a shove,
Provoking a violent sneeze.


Aha! I've got it at last!

Paul
04-26-2010, 05:22 AM
Aha! I've got it at last!
Finally the dye is cast!

Pat~
04-26-2010, 05:44 AM
Aha! I've got it at last!
Finally the dye is cast!
I'm packing my bags

RevisionIsTheKey
04-26-2010, 06:51 AM
New game? Limerick Light? Each line loses a syllable? Okay, the Rev will follow your silly rules. :)

Aha! I've got it at last!
Finally the dye is cast!
I'm packing my bags
Don't want to brag

Albedo of Zero
04-26-2010, 09:12 AM
Aha! I've got it at last!
Finally the dye is cast!
I'm packing my bags
Don't want to brag
But I've got first-class airfare to Ireland where I will learn all about these limericks...and then I'll come back and let you all in on their secrets!!


There once was a rhyme from Cork County

Matera the Mad
04-26-2010, 11:02 AM
There once was a rhyme from Cork County
About mutiny on the ship Bounty

flyingtart
04-26-2010, 12:19 PM
There once was a rhyme from Cork County
About mutiny on the ship Bounty
The crew, in a huddle

Nymtoc
04-26-2010, 02:36 PM
There once was a rhyme from Cork County
About mutiny on the ship Bounty
The crew, in a huddle,
Said, "We're in a muddle"

Autodidact
04-26-2010, 08:33 PM
There once was a rhyme from Cork County
About mutiny on the ship Bounty
The crew, in a huddle,
Said, "We're in a muddle"
We all thought it told of a Mountie.


Said the author, "I ought to be working

flyingtart
04-26-2010, 09:53 PM
Said the author, "I ought to be working
Instead of on this forum shirking

Autodidact
04-26-2010, 11:09 PM
Said the author, "I ought to be working
Instead of on this forum shirking.
I should post to my blog

archerjoe
04-26-2010, 11:12 PM
Said the author, "I ought to be working
Instead of on this forum shirking.
I should post to my blog
I could go walk my dog

Autodidact
04-26-2010, 11:47 PM
Said the author, "I ought to be working
Instead of on this forum shirking
I should post to my blog
I could go walk my dog
or spend time at AW, lurking.


On Tuesday I climbed in the bath

CatSlave
04-26-2010, 11:56 PM
Said the author, "I ought to be working
Instead of on this forum shirking.
I should post to my blog
I could go walk my dog
But no, on your chain I am jerking.

It's fun to write ditties that rhyme

flyingtart
04-27-2010, 12:03 AM
It's fun to write ditties that rhyme
I find they help fill in the time

Autodidact
04-27-2010, 07:26 AM
It's fun to write ditties that rhyme
I find they help fill in the time.
Sometimes they don't

CatSlave
04-27-2010, 08:15 AM
It's fun to write ditties that rhyme
I find they help fill in the time.
Sometimes they don't
And sometimes I won't

Drachen Jager
04-27-2010, 08:34 AM
It's fun to write ditties that rhyme
I find they help fill in the time.
Sometimes they don't
And sometimes I won't
Procrastination should be a crime

We're all in need of inspiration

flyingtart
04-27-2010, 12:09 PM
We're all in need of inspiration
To prevent writer's constipation

Sir_Nigel
04-27-2010, 02:08 PM
We're all in need of inspiration
To prevent writer's constipation
so words flow diarrhoealy

Nymtoc
04-27-2010, 04:43 PM
We're all in need of inspiration
To prevent writer's constipation
so words flow diarrhoealy
creating ideally

archerjoe
04-27-2010, 05:05 PM
We're all in need of inspiration
To prevent writer's constipation
so words flow diarrhoealy
creating ideally
Prose worthy of a Bartlett's quotation

Miss Molly tried riding her bike

Sir_Nigel
04-27-2010, 05:34 PM
Miss Molly tried riding her bike
“It’s the long cobbled streets that I like”

flyingtart
04-27-2010, 06:38 PM
Miss Molly tried riding her bike
“It’s the long cobbled streets that I like.
The bouncing around

archerjoe
04-27-2010, 08:06 PM
Miss Molly tried riding her bike
“It’s the long cobbled streets that I like.
The bouncing around
Feels good so I found

Nymtoc
04-27-2010, 08:16 PM
Miss Molly tried riding her bike
Its the long cobbled streets that I like.
The bouncing around
Feels good so I found
From now on I'll ride 'stead of hike.

A stranger appeared at the door

Drachen Jager
04-27-2010, 09:26 PM
A stranger appeared at the door
She was pretty, but looked like a whore

RevisionIsTheKey
04-27-2010, 10:46 PM
A stranger appeared at the door
She was pretty, but looked like a whore
I was suspicious

Drachen Jager
04-27-2010, 10:51 PM
A stranger appeared at the door
She was pretty, but looked like a whore
I was suspicious
she said she'd grant me three wishes

Autodidact
04-27-2010, 10:52 PM
A stranger appeared at the door.
She was pretty, but looked like a whore.
I was suspicious--
could she be fictitious?

CDSinex
04-28-2010, 12:58 AM
A stranger appeared at the door.
She was pretty, but looked like a whore.
I was suspicious--
could she be fictitious?
Pinched, she deflated and fell to the floor.

While taking some coal to Newcastle.

RevisionIsTheKey
04-28-2010, 02:48 AM
A stranger appeared at the door.
She was pretty, but looked like a whore.
I was suspicious--
could she be fictitious?
Pinched, she deflated and fell to the floor.


Paul would like her returned, BTW...

RevisionIsTheKey
04-28-2010, 02:50 AM
While taking some coal to Newcastle.
I found a strip teaser's gold tassle

talkwrite
04-28-2010, 03:40 AM
While taking some coal to Newcastle.
I found a strip teaser's gold tassle
I need a second

archerjoe
04-28-2010, 03:46 AM
While taking some coal to Newcastle.
I found a strip teaser's gold tassle
I needed a second
The other one beckoned


I hope it's OK, tw, I added a beat

Paul
04-28-2010, 03:52 AM
While taking some coal to Newcastle.
I found a strip teaser's gold tassle
I needed a second
The other one beckoned
I got it, but I had to wrestle...

The parson's daughter was purty

talkwrite
04-28-2010, 03:56 AM
The parson's daughter was purty
Like all the clan of Mc Murty

RevisionIsTheKey
04-28-2010, 04:00 AM
The parson's daughter was purty
Like all the clan of Mc Murty
She lured me to sin

Paul
04-28-2010, 04:01 AM
Paul would like her returned, BTW...


funnay

Paul
04-28-2010, 04:03 AM
The parson's daughter was purty
Like all the clan of Mc Murty
She lured me to sin
'Twas a wonderous thing
__________________

CatSlave
04-28-2010, 04:29 AM
The parson's daughter was purty
Like all the clan of Mc Murty
She lured me to sin
'Twas a wonderous thing
But it left me exhausted and dirty.

The sins of the flesh, there are many

Paul
04-28-2010, 04:32 AM
The sins of the flesh, there are many
and most can cost a pretty penny

Lavern08
04-28-2010, 05:09 AM
The sins of the flesh, there are many
and most can cost a pretty penny
Be careful where you play

mario_c
04-28-2010, 08:20 AM
The sins of the flesh, there are many
and most can cost a pretty penny
Be careful where you play
Don't grouse what you pay

Drachen Jager
04-28-2010, 08:43 AM
The sins of the flesh, there are many
and most can cost a pretty penny
Be careful where you play
Don't grouse what you pay
Or your privates fall off and you can't get any

There once was a man from Peru

CatSlave
04-28-2010, 08:48 AM
There once was a man from Peru
Who was overly fond of his gnu

Drachen Jager
04-28-2010, 09:09 AM
There once was a man from Peru
Who was overly fond of his gnu
He dreamt of her nightly

Sir_Nigel
04-28-2010, 11:47 AM
There once was a man from Peru
Who was overly fond of his gnu
He dreamt of her nightly
in positions unsightly

Nymtoc
04-28-2010, 12:01 PM
There once was a man from Peru
Who was overly fond of his gnu
He dreamt of her nightly
in positions unsightly
and scoffed at the bourgeois taboo.

Old Caleb set sail in a boat

flyingtart
04-28-2010, 12:21 PM
Old Caleb set sail in a boat
With a crew of six hens and a goat

Sir_Nigel
04-28-2010, 12:49 PM
Old Caleb set sail in a boat
With a crew of six hens and a goat
And at night below decks

Paul
04-28-2010, 01:12 PM
Old Caleb set sail in a boat
With a crew of six hens and a goat
And at night below decks
he worked on his pecs

flyingtart
04-28-2010, 02:23 PM
Old Caleb set sail in a boat
With a crew of six hens and a goat
And at night below decks
he worked on his pecs
Which made a nice bulge in his coat.


I think we must send for a plumber

Nymtoc
04-28-2010, 02:46 PM
I think we must send for a plumber
and hope he gets here by midsummer

CatSlave
04-28-2010, 03:19 PM
I think we must send for a plumber
and hope he gets here by midsummer
The pipes have all burst

Sir_Nigel
04-28-2010, 04:05 PM
I think we must send for a plumber
and hope he gets here by midsummer
The pipes have all burst
my house must be cursed!

CatSlave
04-28-2010, 04:24 PM
I think we must send for a plumber
and hope he gets here by midsummer
The pipes have all burst
my house must be cursed!
Unable to bathe is a bummer.

The cat has sneaked into my bed

archerjoe
04-28-2010, 04:38 PM
The cat has sneaked into my bed
It's curled and purring on my head

flyingtart
04-28-2010, 04:59 PM
The cat has sneaked into my bed
It's curled and purring on my head
That adorable moggie

RevisionIsTheKey
04-28-2010, 10:09 PM
The cat has sneaked into my bed
It's curled and purring on my head
That adorable moggie
Has left my hair soggy

flyingtart
04-28-2010, 11:56 PM
The cat has sneaked into my bed
It's curled and purring on my head
That adorable moggie
Has left my hair soggy
And made my pyjamas turn red.


Miss Hackett was truly irate

CatSlave
04-29-2010, 12:47 AM
Miss Hackett was truly irate
Her boyfriend forgot her birth date

RevisionIsTheKey
04-29-2010, 12:51 AM
Miss Hackett was truly irate
Her boyfriend forgot her birth date
To make matters worse

Kerlee
04-29-2010, 01:28 AM
Miss Hackett was truly irate
Her boyfriend forgot her birth date
To make matters worse
she then got the 'curse'

CatSlave
04-29-2010, 04:15 AM
Miss Hackett was truly irate
Her boyfriend forgot her birth date
To make matters worse
she then got the 'curse'
So the fun times will just have to wait.

He said he was sorry with flowers

talkwrite
04-29-2010, 04:27 AM
He said he was sorry with flowers
My words must have made him cower

Matera the Mad
04-29-2010, 07:30 AM
He said he was sorry with flowers
My words must have made him cower
Twelve roses so red

Paul
04-29-2010, 07:50 AM
He said he was sorry with flowers
My words must have made him cower
Twelve roses so red
(it has often being said)

flyingtart
04-29-2010, 11:43 AM
He said he was sorry with flowers
My words must have made him cower
Twelve roses so red
(it has often being said)
Will make a girl happy, not sour.


When Doris returned from the mall

Sir_Nigel
04-29-2010, 11:54 AM
When Doris returned from the mall
either:
and was counting her shoplifted haul (American)
Or
she fell in the Foss Dyke Canal (Eng)

Paul
04-30-2010, 03:28 AM
When Doris returned from the mall
and was counting her shoplifted haul
Then security guard loomed

archerjoe
04-30-2010, 04:29 AM
When Doris returned from the mall
and was counting her shoplifted haul
Then security guard loomed
And ranted and fumed

Paul
04-30-2010, 04:36 AM
When Doris returned from the mall
and was counting her shoplifted haul
A security guard loomed
And ranted and fumed
Til poor Doris eventually did bawl

When I'm quite rich and famous

RevisionIsTheKey
04-30-2010, 08:40 AM
When I'm quite rich and famous
You'll know I am no ignoramus

Sir_Nigel
04-30-2010, 11:31 AM
When I'm quite rich and famous
You'll know I am no ignoramus
‘Cos the stuff wot I write

flyingtart
04-30-2010, 01:02 PM
When I'm quite rich and famous
You'll know I am no ignoramus
‘Cos the stuff wot I write
Is the critics' delight

Paul
04-30-2010, 01:31 PM
When I'm quite rich and famous
You'll know I am no ignoramus
‘Cos the stuff wot I write
Is the critics' delight
And my muse says 'no one will tame us' (i know, i know, tacky.)


The path to the top was quite slippy

Sir_Nigel
04-30-2010, 03:21 PM
The path to the top was quite slippy
so I gave up and went to the chippy

Nymtoc
04-30-2010, 04:10 PM
The path to the top was quite slippy
so I gave up and went to the chippy
I sat there all day

flyingtart
04-30-2010, 04:42 PM
The path to the top was quite slippy
so I gave up and went to the chippy
I sat there all day
In a nonchalant way

archerjoe
04-30-2010, 04:51 PM
The path to the top was quite slippy
so I gave up and went to the chippy
I sat there all day
In a nonchalant way
And sang drinking songs with a hippy

What's up with these hippies today?

CatSlave
04-30-2010, 05:26 PM
What's up with these hippies today?
No protests, no pot and no play

Autodidact
04-30-2010, 07:36 PM
What's up with these hippies today?
No protests, no pot and no play,
they don't do free love

flyingtart
04-30-2010, 10:28 PM
What's up with these hippies today?
No protests, no pot and no play,
they don't do free love
They just push and shove

CatSlave
04-30-2010, 11:44 PM
What's up with these hippies today?
No protests, no pot and no play,
they don't do free love
They just push and shove
Drink Starbucks, play Wii, blog all day.

The world has become very small

Pthom
04-30-2010, 11:47 PM
The world has become very small
A lot like this beat-up golf ball

archerjoe
05-01-2010, 12:09 AM
The world has become very small
A lot like this beat-up golf ball
A couple good whacks

Paul
05-01-2010, 02:27 AM
The world has become very small
A lot like this beat-up golf ball
A couple good whacks
A number of smacks

talkwrite
05-01-2010, 02:27 AM
The world has become very small
A lot like this beat-up golf ball
A couple good whacks
and it will collapse

archerjoe
05-01-2010, 04:33 AM
The world has become very small
A lot like this beat-up golf ball
A couple good whacks
and it will collapse
We won't have to worry at all

A lost nun found her way to a bar

Drachen Jager
05-01-2010, 07:27 AM
A lost nun found her way to a bar
Her habit was not normally astray by so far

archerjoe
05-01-2010, 08:02 AM
A lost nun found her way to a bar
Her habit was not normally astray by so far

Can you shorten that to 9 beats and match the meter?

Paul
05-01-2010, 09:37 AM
A lost nun found her way to a bar
(the firt time she had strayed so far)
She ordered a whiskey

flyingtart
05-01-2010, 02:36 PM
A lost nun found her way to a bar
(the firt time she had strayed so far)
She ordered a whiskey
Which was very risky

Nymtoc
05-01-2010, 02:52 PM
A lost nun found her way to a bar
(the first time she had strayed so far)
She ordered a whiskey
Which was very risky
Though it went well with her cigar.

There once was a man from New Delhi

flyingtart
05-01-2010, 03:24 PM
There once was a man from New Delhi
Whose feet were all rancid and smelly

RevisionIsTheKey
05-01-2010, 06:45 PM
There once was a man from New Delhi
Whose feet were all rancid and smelly
They attracted stray dogs

CatSlave
05-01-2010, 07:59 PM
There once was a man from New Delhi
Whose feet were all rancid and smelly
They attracted stray dogs
Large flies and green frogs

RevisionIsTheKey
05-01-2010, 08:40 PM
There once was a man from New Delhi
Whose feet were all rancid and smelly
They attracted stray dogs
Large flies and green frogs
That had lashes like Liza Minelli.

When Liza steps onto the stage

StephanieFox
05-02-2010, 04:46 AM
When Liza steps onto the stage
Her pet dog in the audience bays.

Matera the Mad
05-02-2010, 08:25 AM
When Liza steps onto the stage
Her pet dog in the audience bays
He sets off applause

CatSlave
05-02-2010, 09:07 AM
When Liza steps onto the stage
Her pet dog in the audience bays
He sets off applause
And laughter, because

flyingtart
05-02-2010, 02:08 PM
When Liza steps onto the stage
Her pet dog in the audience bays
He sets off applause
And laughter, because
He's more talent than her, in some ways


A nursery teacher from Rhyll

Nymtoc
05-02-2010, 03:11 PM
A nursery teacher from Rhyll
Taught the children about Jack and Jill

Paul
05-02-2010, 03:57 PM
A nursery teacher from Rhyll
Taught the children about Jack and Jill
But a young girl complained
"

Matera the Mad
05-03-2010, 01:10 AM
A nursery teacher from Rhyll
Taught the children about Jack and Jill
But a young girl complained
That while Jack's head was pained

RevisionIsTheKey
05-03-2010, 02:37 AM
A nursery teacher from Rhyll
Taught the children about Jack and Jill
But a young girl complained
That while Jack's head was pained
Poor Jill could be tumbling still.

A help wanted ad in the paper

Paul
05-03-2010, 02:46 AM
A help wanted ad in the paper
caused my concentration to taper

RevisionIsTheKey
05-03-2010, 04:06 AM
A help wanted ad in the paper
caused my concentration to taper
The job was in Rio

archerjoe
05-03-2010, 04:16 AM
A help wanted ad in the paper
caused my concentration to taper
The job was in Rio
The position: CEO

Paul
05-03-2010, 04:21 AM
A help wanted ad in the paper
caused my concentration to taper
The job was in Rio
The position: CEO
For me it was the very caper...

I'm now chief of all things exotic

Matera the Mad
05-03-2010, 04:29 AM
I'm now chief of all things exotic
The flamboyant, the wild and erotic

StephanieFox
05-03-2010, 06:08 AM
I'm now chief of all things exotic
The flamboyant, the wild and erotic
And I dress the part

flyingtart
05-03-2010, 01:20 PM
I'm now chief of all things exotic
The flamboyant, the wild and erotic
And I dress the part
Like a flying tart

Nymtoc
05-03-2010, 01:51 PM
I'm now chief of all things exotic
The flamboyant, the wild and erotic
And I dress the part
Like a flying tart
Who dares say I look idiotic?

When Emmy Lou walks down the street

CatSlave
05-03-2010, 02:01 PM
When Emmy Lou walks down the street
Cats follow along at her feet

oneblindmouse
05-03-2010, 09:15 PM
When Emmy Lou walks down the street
Cats follow along at her feet
They purr and they miaow

flyingtart
05-03-2010, 10:08 PM
When Emmy Lou walks down the street
Cats follow along at her feet
They purr and they miaow
While wondering how

CatSlave
05-03-2010, 10:15 PM
When Emmy Lou walks down the street
Cats follow along at her feet
They purr and they miaow
While wondering how
To get Emmy to feed them a treat.

Those critters are beggars for real

Autodidact
05-04-2010, 02:10 AM
Those critters are beggars for real.
If you don't give them tuna they steal

StephanieFox
05-04-2010, 04:19 AM
Those critters are beggars for real.
If you don't give them tuna they steal
They are worse that those dogs

CDSinex
05-04-2010, 06:34 AM
Those critters are beggars for real.
If you don't give them tuna they steal
They are worse than (?) those dogs
And those miniature hogs

CatSlave
05-04-2010, 09:31 AM
Those critters are beggars for real.
If you don't give them tuna they steal
They are worse than (?) those dogs
And those miniature hogs
Cats demand that you give them a meal.

Although cats are pushy and bold

Sir_Nigel
05-04-2010, 11:51 AM
Although cats are pushy and bold
the dead ones are rigid and cold

flyingtart
05-04-2010, 12:05 PM
Although cats are pushy and bold
the dead ones are rigid and cold
They lie very still

Sir_Nigel
05-04-2010, 01:10 PM
Although cats are pushy and bold
the dead ones are rigid and cold
They lie very still
but with Rosemary and Dill

archerjoe
05-04-2010, 02:39 PM
Although cats are pushy and bold
the dead ones are rigid and cold
They lie very still
but with Rosemary and Dill
They make a fine stew, so I'm told

Young Tony went out for a ride

Nymtoc
05-04-2010, 04:24 PM
Young Tony went out for a ride
with the object of finding a bride

flyingtart
05-04-2010, 04:57 PM
Young Tony went out for a ride
with the object of finding a bride
The first contender

archerjoe
05-04-2010, 05:35 PM
Young Tony went out for a ride
with the object of finding a bride
The first contender
Sat on his fender

Autodidact
05-04-2010, 08:01 PM
Young Tony went out for a ride
with the object of finding a bride
The first contender
Sat on his fender,
which made his load now rather wide.


Young Mavis was all in a dither

Nymtoc
05-04-2010, 11:21 PM
Young Mavis was all in a dither
Upset, she ran hither and thither

flyingtart
05-04-2010, 11:56 PM
Young Mavis was all in a dither
Upset, she ran hither and thither
She tripped on the rug

Lavern08
05-04-2010, 11:58 PM
Young Mavis was all in a dither
Upset, she ran hither and thither
She tripped on the rug
Then stepped on a bug

archerjoe
05-04-2010, 11:58 PM
Young Mavis was all in a dither
Upset, she ran hither and thither
She tripped on the rug
Ingested a bug

Paul
05-05-2010, 02:10 AM
Young Mavis was all in a dither
Upset, she ran hither and thither
She tripped on the rug
Ingested a bug
But found it a little too bitter


The cheesemonger was none too happy

RevisionIsTheKey
05-05-2010, 09:03 AM
They make a fine stew, so I'm told


In CatSlave's absence, I must say, How rude!

RevisionIsTheKey
05-05-2010, 09:08 AM
The cheesemonger was none too happy
The last batch of Swiss was so crappy

CatSlave
05-05-2010, 10:03 AM
The cheesemonger was none too happy
The last batch of Swiss was so crappy
Even mice turned away

Leellana
05-05-2010, 10:48 AM
The cheesemonger was none too happy
The last batch of Swiss was so crappy
Even mice turned away
With nothing to say

Sir_Nigel
05-05-2010, 12:12 PM
The cheesemonger was none too happy
The last batch of Swiss was so crappy
Even mice turned away
With nothing to say
‘You have monged your last cheese!’ yelled his pappy.


There was a young man named Horatio

Nymtoc
05-05-2010, 12:54 PM
There was a young man named Horatio
Who made all his files end in .kco

flyingtart
05-05-2010, 01:11 PM
There was a young man named Horatio
Who made all his files end in .kco
This made his hard drive

Nymtoc
05-05-2010, 01:24 PM
There was a young man named Horatio
Who made all his files end in .kco
This made his hard drive
More dead than alive

Sir_Nigel
05-05-2010, 04:01 PM
There was a young man named Horatio
Who made all his files end in .kco
This made his hard drive
More dead than alive
His mind was on last night’s… Stan Tracey show

Whilst walking he fell down a hole

archerjoe
05-05-2010, 05:17 PM
Whilst walking he fell down a hole
He cried out, "I feel like a mole!"

Etola
05-05-2010, 05:34 PM
Whilst walking he fell down a hole
He cried out, "I feel like a mole!
And what is that smell?

flyingtart
05-05-2010, 06:00 PM
Whilst walking he fell down a hole
He cried out, "I feel like a mole!
And what is that smell?
I'm sure you can tell