PDA

View Full Version : Limericks Live!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 [50] 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90

RevisionIsTheKey
04-03-2010, 09:17 AM
(Going by the posted times...)

I drag myself out of the bed
And cursing the throb in my head
I aim for the loo
But it lands in my shoe
I guess I'll go barefoot instead.

I dreamt I was on Oprah's show

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 10:06 AM
I dreamt I was on Oprah's show
My book wowed the audience, so

flyingtart
04-03-2010, 11:57 AM
I dreamt I was on Oprah's show
My book wowed the audience, so
When I awoke

Meaney
04-03-2010, 06:07 PM
I dreamt I was on Oprah's show;
My book wowed the audience, so
when I awoke
I'd thunk I'd misspoke

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 08:26 PM
I dreamt I was on Oprah's show;
My book wowed the audience, so
when I awoke
I'd thunk I'd misspoke
So I better start writing, I know.

The spotlight is shining on me

Nymtoc
04-03-2010, 09:40 PM
The spotlight is shining on me
But I don't know why. Let me see.

flyingtart
04-03-2010, 10:16 PM
The spotlight is shining on me
But I don't know why. Let me see.
Could glory and fame

Nymtoc
04-03-2010, 11:36 PM
The spotlight is shining on me
But I don't know why. Let me see.
Could glory and fame
Be attached to my name

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 02:29 AM
The spotlight is shining on me
But I don't know why. Let me see.
Could glory and fame
Be attached to my name?
It's the cops, so now I must flee.

A bunny appeared on my lawn

RevisionIsTheKey
04-04-2010, 02:43 AM
A bunny appeared on my lawn
He twitched his nose once, then was gone

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 02:47 AM
A bunny appeared on my lawn
He twitched his nose once, then was gone
A creature so shy

StephanieFox
04-04-2010, 04:27 AM
A bunny appeared on my lawn
He twitched his nose once, then was gone
A creature so shy
Or perhaps it's so sly

CDSinex
04-04-2010, 06:09 AM
A bunny appeared on my lawn
He twitched his nose once, then was gone
A creature so shy
Or perhaps it's so sly
He left all my flowers chewed-on.


This fellow I know from my work.

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 06:18 AM
This fellow I know from my work
Has lately been labeled a jerk

RevisionIsTheKey
04-04-2010, 06:29 AM
This fellow I know from my work
Has lately been labeled a jerk
He has a habit

Meaney
04-04-2010, 06:36 AM
This fellow I know from my work
Has lately been labeled a jerk
He has a habit
like that of a rabbit:

Albedo of Zero
04-04-2010, 06:56 AM
This fellow I know from my work
Has lately been labeled a jerk
He has a habit
like that of a rabbit:
Prolific talk, he thinks, is a perk. :Shrug:



It happened one day in mid-spring

RevisionIsTheKey
04-04-2010, 07:28 AM
It happened one day in mid-spring
The robins had started to sing

rhymegirl
04-04-2010, 07:44 AM
It happened one day in mid-spring
The robins had started to sing
and bees were buzzin'

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 08:42 AM
It happened one day in mid-spring
The robins had started to sing
and bees were buzzin'
I said to my cousin:

CDSinex
04-04-2010, 08:58 AM
It happened one day in mid-spring
The robins had started to sing
and bees were buzzin'
I said to my cousin:
"A time when our heart strings go zing"


The roses are starting to bloom.

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 09:08 AM
The roses are starting to bloom
Their fragrance drifts into my room

Nymtoc
04-04-2010, 09:18 AM
The roses are starting to bloom
Their fragrance drifts into my room
I smell it and smile

CatSlave
04-04-2010, 09:23 AM
The roses are starting to bloom
Their fragrance drifts into my room
I smell it and smile
And think all the while

Matera the Mad
04-04-2010, 10:42 AM
The roses are starting to bloom
Their fragrance drifts into my room
I smell it and smile
And think all the while
Of anything but nuclear doom

A frog in a blender's no joke

flyingtart
04-04-2010, 02:14 PM
A frog in a blender's no joke
I prefer a pig in a poke

rhymegirl
04-04-2010, 11:12 PM
A frog in a blender's no joke
I prefer a pig in a poke,
Cuz piggies are cute

CDSinex
04-05-2010, 12:59 AM
A frog in a blender's no joke
I prefer a pig in a poke,
Cuz piggies are cute
But none play the flute.

Paul
04-05-2010, 04:24 AM
A frog in a blender's no joke
I prefer a pig in a poke,
Cuz piggies are cute
But none play the flute.
Though some are generous with coke

Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous

Nymtoc
04-05-2010, 05:17 AM
Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous
And yet it soon proved quite contagious

rhymegirl
04-05-2010, 05:30 AM
Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous
And yet it soon proved quite contagious
Because he had lice

Autodidact
04-05-2010, 06:50 AM
Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous
And yet it soon proved quite contagious
Because he had lice
he caught from his vice

CDSinex
04-05-2010, 06:53 AM
Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous
And yet it soon proved quite contagious
Because he had lice
He shared since he's nice.

Albedo of Zero
04-05-2010, 07:36 AM
Timmy's stubble was quite outrageous
And yet it soon proved quite contagious
Because he had lice
He shared since he's nice.
To kiss him would be courageous. (and icky)


The one who kissed Timmy was desperate

RevisionIsTheKey
04-05-2010, 08:14 AM
The one who kissed Timmy was desperate
She hurried to buy a No-Pest Strip

archerjoe
04-05-2010, 05:47 PM
The one who kissed Timmy was desperate
She hurried to buy a No-Pest Strip
She made a cute skirt

flyingtart
04-05-2010, 06:21 PM
The one who kissed Timmy was desperate
She hurried to buy a No-Pest Strip
She made a cute skirt
Behaved like a flirt

RevisionIsTheKey
04-06-2010, 12:04 AM
The one who kissed Timmy was desperate
She hurried to buy a No-Pest Strip
She made a cute skirt
Behaved like a flirt
And the lice still thrive in her armpits.

Young Dan's glad it's opening day

CatSlave
04-06-2010, 12:36 AM
Young Dan's glad it's opening day
He's anxious to go out and play

rhymegirl
04-06-2010, 12:45 AM
Young Dan's glad it's opening day
He's anxious to go out and play
but his baseball is square

Lavern08
04-06-2010, 01:10 AM
Young Dan's glad it's opening day
He's anxious to go out and play
but his baseball is square
And he's lost all his hair

talkwrite
04-06-2010, 03:44 AM
Young Dan's glad it's opening day
He's anxious to go out and play
but his baseball is square
And he's lost all his hair
So what? Strawberry's the same way!!

I filled out my census today

rhymegirl
04-06-2010, 05:41 AM
I filled out my census today
In invisible ink, I must say

archerjoe
04-06-2010, 06:36 AM
I filled out my census today
In invisible ink, I must say
Do I count all the ghosts?

RevisionIsTheKey
04-06-2010, 07:13 AM
I filled out my census today
In invisible ink, I must say
Do I count all the ghosts?
There are five, at most

Matera the Mad
04-06-2010, 09:28 AM
I filled out my census today
In invisible ink, I must say
Do I count all the ghosts?
There are five, at most
And they're awfully amusing at play

If ghosts were all counted at census

RevisionIsTheKey
04-06-2010, 09:45 AM
If ghosts were all counted at census
How'd we know if they're women or mensus?

Nymtoc
04-06-2010, 02:36 PM
If ghosts were all counted at census
How'd we know if they're women or mensus?
Do they wear different clothes?

archerjoe
04-06-2010, 04:21 PM
If ghosts were all counted at census
How'd we know if they're women or mensus?
Do they wear different clothes?
Or a kilt if they chose?

Albedo of Zero
04-07-2010, 01:01 AM
If ghosts were all counted at census
How'd we know if they're women or mensus?
Do they wear different clothes?
Or a kilt if they chose?
or just sheets lettered mister and missus.


The ghost of the house came a'knocking

Lavern08
04-07-2010, 01:08 AM
The ghost of the house came a'knocking
As our four-poster bed was a 'rockin'

talkwrite
04-07-2010, 02:24 AM
The ghost of the house came a'knocking
As our four-poster bed was a 'rockin'
The message they brought

CatSlave
04-07-2010, 03:29 AM
The ghost of the house came a'knocking
As our four-poster bed was a 'rockin'
The message they brought
Was not what we thought

Matera the Mad
04-07-2010, 07:17 AM
The ghost of the house came a'knocking
As our four-poster bed was a 'rockin'
The message they brought
Was not what we thought
But a plea that the fridge be unlocking

If you think my behavior is normal

flyingtart
04-07-2010, 12:17 PM
If you think my behavior is normal
And possibly semi-informal

Nymtoc
04-07-2010, 01:50 PM
If you think my behavior is normal
And possibly semi-informal
Then let me explain

flyingtart
04-07-2010, 02:33 PM
If you think my behavior is normal
And possibly semi-informal
Then let me explain
I've this thing in my brain

Nymtoc
04-07-2010, 03:05 PM
If you think my behavior is normal
And possibly semi-informal
Then let me explain
I've this thing in my brain
Which can get quite tempesty and stormal.

There was a young lady from Derry

archerjoe
04-07-2010, 04:39 PM
There was a young lady from Derry
A stunt double for Halle Berry

Meaney
04-07-2010, 06:23 PM
There was a young lady from Derry
A stunt double for Halle Berry
who, on Oscar night

flyingtart
04-07-2010, 08:28 PM
There was a young lady from Derry
A stunt double for Halle Berry
who, on Oscar night
Got into a fight

Autodidact
04-07-2010, 11:50 PM
There was a young lady from Derry
A stunt double for Halle Berry
who, on Oscar night
Got into a fight
The whole thing was extraordinary.


Last night when I turned on the news

Lavern08
04-08-2010, 12:03 AM
Last night when I turned on the news
The broadcaster gave me the blues

CatSlave
04-08-2010, 01:21 AM
Last night when I turned on the news
The broadcaster gave me the blues
The world's going to hell

StephanieFox
04-08-2010, 01:56 AM
Last night when I turned on the news
The broadcaster gave me the blues
The world's going to hell
In a basket - farewell!

Paul
04-08-2010, 03:40 AM
Last night when I turned on the news
The broadcaster gave me the blues
The world's going to hell
In a basket - farewell!
for tonight I light my last fuse...


The beauty of life is not obvious (tough, i know, he he)

RevisionIsTheKey
04-08-2010, 04:03 AM
The beauty of life is not obvious
Especially when Paul is so devious

Paul
04-08-2010, 04:05 AM
The beauty of life is not obvious
Especially when Paul is so devious

:D

CatSlave
04-08-2010, 04:06 AM
The beauty of life is not obvious
Especially when Paul is so devious
Slow down and pay heed

Matera the Mad
04-08-2010, 08:14 AM
The beauty of life is not obvious
Especially when Paul is so devious
Slow down and pay heed
Relax, smoke some weed

Albedo of Zero
04-08-2010, 08:53 AM
The beauty of life is not obvious
Especially when Paul is so devious
Slow down and pay heed
Relax, smoke some weed
(if we're caught, I know a lawyer who will free us)



The cops found the stash in the closet

Matera the Mad
04-08-2010, 09:19 AM
The cops found the stash in the closet
But little did most of them know, it

flyingtart
04-08-2010, 03:56 PM
The cops found the stash in the closet
But little did most of them know, it
Belonged to my aunt

Meaney
04-08-2010, 05:37 PM
The cops found the stash in the closet
But little did most of them know, it
Belonged to my aunt
who called for detente

Paul
04-08-2010, 06:43 PM
The cops found the stash in the closet
But little did most of them know, it
Belonged to my aunt
who called for detente
now both aunt and the law are quite Cosette*

* French name meaning victory for/of the people. (betchyadidntknowthat)


Paul's last post was quite obscure

flyingtart
04-08-2010, 08:13 PM
Paul's last post was quite obscure
Or even a pile of manure

Preacher'sWife
04-08-2010, 09:33 PM
Paul's last post was quite obscure
Or even a pile of manure
What's in that man's brain?

CatSlave
04-08-2010, 10:20 PM
Paul's last post was quite obscure
Or even a pile of manure
What's in that man's brain?
A trainwreck or train?

CatSlave
04-08-2010, 10:21 PM
(Whatever, it's screwed up for sure.)

OK, someone else can finish it.

flyingtart
04-08-2010, 10:41 PM
Wouldn't dream of it, CatSlave.

Paul's last post was quite obscure
Or even a pile of manure
What's in that man's brain?
A trainwreck or train?
Whatever, it's screwed up for sure.


Her pet was a slavering beast

Lavern08
04-08-2010, 10:43 PM
Paul's last post was quite obscure
Or even a pile of manure
What's in that man's brain?
A trainwreck or train?
We'll know when they operate for sure

What? Come on, he didn't give us much to work with, now did he? :Shrug:

I bought an old car from a clown ...

Autodidact
04-09-2010, 01:54 AM
I bought an old car from a clown,
too small to drive around town

CatSlave
04-09-2010, 02:46 AM
I bought an old car from a clown
Too small to drive around town
My nose hit my knees

Preacher'sWife
04-09-2010, 03:54 AM
I bought an old car from a clown
Too small to drive around town
My nose hit my knees
Which conjured a sneeze

archerjoe
04-09-2010, 04:41 AM
I bought an old car from a clown
Too small to drive around town
My nose hit my knees
Which conjured a sneeze
And turned my clown-smile to a frown

<this was/is flyingtart's>
Her pet was a slavering beast
Revered as a god in the East

CatSlave
04-09-2010, 04:45 AM
Her pet was a slavering beast
Revered as a god in the East
With fangs oh so sharp

RevisionIsTheKey
04-09-2010, 08:50 AM
Her pet was a slavering beast
Revered as a god in the East
With fangs oh so sharp
And gills like a carp

flyingtart
04-09-2010, 11:48 AM
Her pet was a slavering beast
Revered as a god in the East
With fangs oh so sharp
And gills like a carp
It lived on bananas and yeast.


The vet primed a hypo and said

Leellana
04-09-2010, 01:16 PM
The vet primed a hypo and said
That he better lay down in his bed

flyingtart
04-09-2010, 06:40 PM
The vet primed a hypo and said
That he better lay down in his bed
He felt so exhausted

archerjoe
04-09-2010, 10:34 PM
The vet primed a hypo and said
That he better lay down in his bed
He felt so exhausted
From being accosted

flyingtart
04-09-2010, 10:46 PM
The vet primed a hypo and said
That he better lay down in his bed
He felt so exhausted
From being accosted
By one of the canine undead.


We went on a boat trip to Spain

CatSlave
04-09-2010, 11:15 PM
We went on a boat trip to Spain
The women were proud and so vain

Lavern08
04-10-2010, 01:53 AM
We went on a boat trip to Spain
The women were proud and so vain
Although they were pretty

archerjoe
04-10-2010, 03:29 AM
We went on a boat trip to Spain
The women were proud and so vain
Although they were pretty
I'm like Walter Mitty

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 03:35 AM
We went on a boat trip to Spain
The women were proud and so vain
Although they were pretty
I'm like Walter Mitty
All of my conquests are feigned.

I just saw an albino squirrel

(Really, I just did...)

CatSlave
04-10-2010, 03:55 AM
I just saw an albino squirrel
Chasing its tail in a whirl

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 04:00 AM
I just saw an albino squirrel
Chasing its tail in a whirl
The sight made me dizzy

CatSlave
04-10-2010, 04:03 AM
I just saw an albino squirrel
Chasing its tail in a whirl
The sight made me dizzy
That rascal's so busy

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:27 AM
Em, thanks you guys....


:D

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:32 AM
I just saw an albino squirrel
Chasing its tail in a whirl
The sight made me dizzy
That rascal's so busy
I just had to ring my friend Cyril

The slur was unsubstantiated

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:35 AM
I'm kiddin - I'm kiddin


The unset jelly began to wobble

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 04:36 AM
Em, thanks you guys....


:D

Paul, are you telling us you have taken the form of an albino squirrel recently seen by the Rev? :eek:

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:38 AM
Em, I'm not sure...

Do I look that cute?

Hmmmm

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 04:41 AM
I'm confused, so I thought I would pick this one and add to the confusion:

The slur was unsubstantiated
But after we had Paul sedated

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:48 AM
The slur was unsubstantiated
So we had to have Paul sedated
But the straps were unfastened

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 04:55 AM
Messin' with the Rev's wording, eh Paul? :rant:

The slur was unsubstantiated
So we had to have Paul sedated
But the straps were unfastened
By that squirrel filled with passion

Paul
04-10-2010, 04:57 AM
please don't let the next post end with the word 'mated'


:popcorn:

thankfully it's my bedtime

RevisionIsTheKey
04-10-2010, 05:02 AM
The Rev had not thought that far ahead (which is unusual for her) but she is going to allow someone else to complete the limerick.

Paul
04-10-2010, 05:04 AM
ahh, yes, the aul third person self referencing...


'it vants no straps'


:D

nighty night

archerjoe
04-10-2010, 05:51 AM
The slur was unsubstantiated
So we had to have Paul sedated
But the straps were unfastened
By that squirrel filled with passion
Who kept the affair PG rated

Is that better than ending with mated?

Squirrels drive my poor dachshund nuts

flyingtart
04-10-2010, 02:09 PM
Squirrels drive my poor dachshund nuts
And he ends up covered in cuts

Lavern08
04-10-2010, 07:46 PM
Squirrels drive my poor dachshund nuts
And he ends up covered in cuts
But my dog has a plan

Paul
04-11-2010, 01:21 AM
Squirrels drive my poor dachshund nuts
And he ends up covered in cuts
But my dog has a plan
Which involves a small van

(nice one Archerjoe)

Albedo of Zero
04-11-2010, 01:52 AM
Squirrels drive my poor dachshund nuts
And he ends up covered in cuts
But my dog has a plan
Which involves a small van
and the game warden named Homer Butts




There once was a warden named Butts

archerjoe
04-11-2010, 02:39 AM
There once was a warden named Butts
Renowned for his valor and guts

Paul
04-11-2010, 02:54 AM
There once was a warden named Butts
Renowned for his valor and guts
He had only one flaw

RevisionIsTheKey
04-11-2010, 04:17 AM
There once was a warden named Butts
Renowned for his valor and guts
He had only one flaw
He felt he was the Law

Paul
04-11-2010, 04:24 AM
There once was a warden named Butts
Renowned for his valor and guts
He had only one flaw
He felt he was the Law
But all he was left with was cuts

Jimmy James made a wild concoction

Albedo of Zero
04-11-2010, 04:41 AM
Jimmy James made a wild concoction
which he tested without any caution

Paul
04-11-2010, 04:42 AM
Jimmy James made a wild concoction
which he tested without any caution
it bubbled and spluttered

RevisionIsTheKey
04-11-2010, 04:51 AM
Jimmy James made a wild concoction
which he tested without any caution
it bubbled and spluttered
as Jimmy James uttered:

Paul
04-11-2010, 04:57 AM
Jimmy James made a wild concoction
which he tested without any caution
it bubbled and spluttered
as Jimmy James uttered:
'Damn it, I'll sell it at auction'

I'lll let someone else start...

RevisionIsTheKey
04-11-2010, 05:07 AM
Paul's letting another one start
'Cause nothing's as big as his heart

Paul
04-11-2010, 05:12 AM
Paul's letting another one start
'Cause nothing's as big as his heart
'cept maybe one thing...

RevisionIsTheKey
04-11-2010, 05:22 AM
Okay...the Rev is :gone:

Paul
04-11-2010, 05:24 AM
Okay...the Rev is :gone:

?
Bedtime?

RevisionIsTheKey
04-11-2010, 10:03 AM
Paul's letting another one start
'Cause nothing's as big as his heart
'cept maybe one thing...
Garth and Wayne called it schwing

Matera the Mad
04-11-2010, 11:45 AM
Paul's letting another one start
'Cause nothing's as big as his heart
'cept maybe one thing...
Garth and Wayne called it schwing
My friend calls it my classic fart

Okay, so my download time sucks

Paul
04-11-2010, 02:18 PM
Ok, so my download time sucks
And I'm low on ready bucks


(nice ending on prev. MtM. :))

flyingtart
04-11-2010, 09:58 PM
Ok, so my download time sucks
And I'm low on ready bucks
I'll just have to see

Paul
04-11-2010, 10:23 PM
Ok, so my download time sucks
And I'm low on ready bucks
I'll just have to see
between my banker and me

flyingtart
04-11-2010, 11:11 PM
Ok, so my download time sucks
And I'm low on ready bucks
I'll just have to see
between my banker and me
Who shrugs shoulders and mutters "Aw, shucks!"


Some folks don't get iambic metre

CatSlave
04-11-2010, 11:47 PM
Some folks don't get iambic metre
Which makes the limerick neater

RevisionIsTheKey
04-12-2010, 01:03 AM
Some folks don't get iambic metre
Which makes the limerick neater
Some follow the rules

Preacher'sWife
04-12-2010, 01:31 AM
Some folks don't get iambic metre
Which makes the limerick neater
Some follow the rules
While others are fools

CatSlave
04-12-2010, 02:31 AM
Some folks don't get iambic metre
Which makes the limerick neater
Some follow the rules
While others are fools
And say any old thing just to cheat. Er.

Sometimes when I try to be funny

Paul
04-12-2010, 06:03 AM
Some folks don't get iambic metre
Which makes the limerick neater
But at what cost?
He said in riposte
for the muse, he could never cheat her.

Paul
04-12-2010, 06:05 AM
Sometimes when I try to be funny
I feel a slight pain in my tummy

CatSlave
04-12-2010, 07:41 AM
Sometimes when I try to be funny
I feel a slight pain in my tummy
When words don't quite rhyme

Paul
04-12-2010, 07:52 AM
Sometimes when I try to be funny
I feel a slight pain in my tummy
When words don't quite rhyme
I resort to snarkiness
I bide my time

CatSlave
04-12-2010, 08:34 AM
Sometimes when I try to be funny
I feel a slight pain in my tummy
When words don't quite rhyme
(I resort to snarkiness)
I bide my time
'Cause snarkiness doesn't work, honey.

One time I was playing a game

Kerlee
04-12-2010, 11:16 AM
One time I was playing a game
each move like the last was the same

archerjoe
04-12-2010, 04:50 PM
One time I was playing a game
each move like the last was the same
Who knew Monopoly

RevisionIsTheKey
04-12-2010, 06:06 PM
One time I was playing a game
each move like the last was the same
Who knew MonopoŽly
Could progress so slowly

flyingtart
04-12-2010, 06:39 PM
One time I was playing a game
each move like the last was the same
Who knew MonopoŽly
Could progress so slowly
I should go for something less tame


So how about Russian Roulette?

Nymtoc
04-12-2010, 06:41 PM
So how about Russian Roulette?
You play, and I'll place a bet.

Paul
04-13-2010, 02:13 AM
So how about Russian Roulette?
You play, and I'll place a bet.
Though always remember

Albedo of Zero
04-13-2010, 02:20 AM
So how about Russian Roulette?
You play, and I'll place a bet.
Though always remember
that unless you're a club member

Paul
04-13-2010, 02:36 AM
So how about Russian Roulette?
You play, and I'll place a bet.
Though always remember
that unless you're a club member
incorrect metre may result in your death

An unnamed poet refused to settle

(:D / ;) )

CatSlave
04-13-2010, 03:10 AM
Sigh.

How to Write Limericks (http://www.mahalo.com/how-to-write-a-limerick-poem)

Preacher'sWife
04-13-2010, 03:19 AM
:roll:

Albedo of Zero
04-13-2010, 05:40 AM
A poet, unnamed, wouldn't settle

CatSlave
04-13-2010, 06:07 AM
A poet, unnamed, wouldn't settle
For words that were not in fine fettle

archerjoe
04-13-2010, 06:23 AM
A poet, unnamed, wouldn't settle
For words that were not in fine fettle
No bumbling along

CatSlave
04-13-2010, 06:32 AM
A poet, unnamed, wouldn't settle
For words that were not in fine fettle
No bumbling along
Writing words that are wrong

Albedo of Zero
04-13-2010, 07:16 AM
A poet, unnamed, wouldn't settle
For words that were not in fine fettle
No bumbling along
Writing words that are wrong
for a Haiku about a rose petal.




There once was a poet named Bard

CatSlave
04-13-2010, 07:32 AM
There once was a poet named Bard
Who considered himself quite the card

RevisionIsTheKey
04-13-2010, 07:35 AM
There once was a poet named Bard
Who considered himself quite the card
His sonnets drew laughs

Kerlee
04-13-2010, 08:47 AM
There once was a poet named Bard
Who considered himself quite the card
His sonnets drew laughs
recited in half(s)

Matera the Mad
04-13-2010, 08:50 AM
There once was a poet named Bard
Who considered himself quite the card
His sonnets drew laughs
recited in half(s)
But they laughed 'cause he was such a 'tard.

There once was an ant on a peony

flyingtart
04-13-2010, 12:06 PM
There once was an ant on a peony
Considered by peers as a phoney

Sir_Nigel
04-13-2010, 12:28 PM
There once was an ant on a peony
Considered by peers as a phoney
Expelled from the colony

Kerlee
04-13-2010, 01:17 PM
There once was an ant on a peony
Considered by peers as a phoney
Expelled from the colony
he studied homogony

Paul
04-13-2010, 01:18 PM
There once was an ant on a peony
Considered by peers as a phoney
Expelled from the colony
"cruel words, they fall on me"

(No need for the sigh Catslave, I'm poking fun at myself as much as any. ;))

flyingtart
04-13-2010, 01:26 PM
There once was an ant on a peony
Considered by peers as a phoney
Expelled from the colony
he studied homogeny
And set up a clinic in Coney


While riding the late train to Rhyll

Kerlee
04-13-2010, 01:31 PM
While riding the late train to Rhyll
the dentist extracted a drill











**wants a cyber eraser**

Sir_Nigel
04-13-2010, 01:39 PM
While riding the late train to Rhyll
the dentist extracted a drill
‘Is it safe?’ he enquired

Paul
04-13-2010, 01:51 PM
While riding the late train to Rhyll
the dentist extracted a drill
‘Is it safe?’ he enquired
"or shall we be mired

Kerlee
04-13-2010, 02:18 PM
While riding the late train to Rhyll
the dentist extracted a drill
‘Is it safe?’ he enquired
"or shall we be mired
by infected root canal swill







the old bear was riding a buck ;-D

Sir_Nigel
04-13-2010, 03:59 PM
the old bear was riding a buck
It’s tattooed on my chest – take a look

flyingtart
04-13-2010, 04:00 PM
the old bear was riding a buck
It’s tattooed on my chest – take a look
But instead of a face

archerjoe
04-13-2010, 04:25 PM
the old bear was riding a buck
It’s tattooed on my chest – take a look
But instead of a face
There is frilly pink lace

flyingtart
04-13-2010, 09:36 PM
the old bear was riding a buck
It’s tattooed on my chest – take a look
But instead of a face
There is frilly pink lace
And instead of a claw there's a hook


While walking my dog on the Fells

RevisionIsTheKey
04-14-2010, 12:22 AM
While walking my dog on the Fells
I encountered an awful smell

Kerlee
04-14-2010, 08:06 AM
While walking my dog on the Fells
I encountered an awful smell
I looked at my shoe

CatSlave
04-14-2010, 08:18 AM
While walking my dog on the Fells
I encountered an awful smell
I looked at my shoe
It was covered with goo

RevisionIsTheKey
04-14-2010, 08:48 AM
While walking my dog on the Fells
I encountered an awful smell
I looked at my shoe
It was covered with goo
Left by a kitten cartel.

There once was a girl named Moon Unit

Albedo of Zero
04-14-2010, 10:45 AM
There once was a girl named Moon Unit
and many a rag did lampoon it

Kerlee
04-14-2010, 10:57 AM
There once was a girl named Moon Unit
and many a rag did lampoon it
she'd lift up her leg

Matera the Mad
04-14-2010, 11:16 AM
There once was a girl named Moon Unit
and many a rag did lampoon it
she'd lift up her leg
To show it was no peg

flyingtart
04-14-2010, 01:23 PM
There once was a girl named Moon Unit
and many a rag did lampoon it
she'd lift up her leg
To show twas no peg
Then get an old salt to harpoon it


A lady who lived in the Bronx

Sir_Nigel
04-14-2010, 01:41 PM
A lady who lived in the Bronx
Cried: 'Jesus this place really honks'

flyingtart
04-14-2010, 09:38 PM
A lady who lived in the Bronx
Cried: 'Jesus this place really honks'
For the fish gutting plant

Paul
04-14-2010, 11:42 PM
A lady who lived in the Bronx
Cried: "Jesus this place really honks,
for the fish gutting plant,"
he continued to rant
"
__________________

RevisionIsTheKey
04-15-2010, 05:36 AM
A lady who lived in the Bronx
Cried: "Jesus this place really honks,
for the fish gutting plant,"
she continued to rant,
"attracts ichthyology wonks."

While driving through Alabama

Matera the Mad
04-15-2010, 08:06 AM
While driving through Alabama
Young Jamie was thrown in the slamma

CatSlave
04-15-2010, 08:24 AM
While driving through Alabama
Young Jamie was thrown in the slamma
For drivin' and drinkin'

Matera the Mad
04-15-2010, 09:22 AM
While driving through Alabama
Young Jamie was thrown in the slamma
For drivin' and drinkin'
(What was that boy thinkin'!)

Albedo of Zero
04-15-2010, 11:02 AM
While driving through Alabama
Young Jamie was thrown in the slamma
For drivin' and drinkin'
(What was that boy thinkin'!)
He reformed and became the new Dali Lama


His religion was very confusing

Sir_Nigel
04-15-2010, 12:09 PM
His religion was very confusing
(its the odd herbal cigs he was using)

Nymtoc
04-15-2010, 12:34 PM
His religion was very confusing
(its the odd herbal cigs he was using)
He'd stand on his head

flyingtart
04-15-2010, 01:09 PM
His religion was very confusing
(its the odd herbal cigs he was using)
He'd stand on his head
Until he turned red

Sir_Nigel
04-15-2010, 01:20 PM
His religion was very confusing
(its the odd herbal cigs he was using)
He'd stand on his head
Until he turned red
then head to the pub to start boozing.


His entrance was grand and dramatic

flyingtart
04-15-2010, 03:16 PM
His entrance was grand and dramatic
His voice commanding and emphatic

archerjoe
04-15-2010, 05:48 PM
His entrance was grand and dramatic
His voice commanding and emphatic
His wardrobe malfunction

Sir_Nigel
04-15-2010, 06:07 PM
His entrance was grand and dramatic
His voice commanding and emphatic
His wardrobe malfunction
showed he’d smeared his cream unction

Autodidact
04-15-2010, 09:18 PM
His entrance was grand and dramatic
His voice commanding and emphatic
His wardrobe malfunction
showed he’d smeared his cream unction;
his exit was then automatic.


I blog and I facebook and tweet

archerjoe
04-15-2010, 09:34 PM
I blog and I facebook and tweet
And foursquare each turn on the street

Autodidact
04-16-2010, 03:06 AM
I blog and I facebook and tweet
And foursquare each turn on the street.
When I use the new media

Paul
04-16-2010, 05:21 AM
I blog and I facebook and tweet
And foursquare each turn on the street.
When I use the new media
I trawl wikipedia

CatSlave
04-16-2010, 06:18 AM
I blog and I facebook and tweet
And foursquare each turn on the street.
When I use the new media
I trawl wikipedia
Now searching for info's real sweet.


My grandson is learning to read

Matera the Mad
04-16-2010, 07:41 AM
My grandson is learning to read
I hope that he's soon up to speed

RevisionIsTheKey
04-16-2010, 07:47 AM
My grandson is learning to read
I hope that he's soon up to speed
So far he's read Plato

CatSlave
04-16-2010, 08:41 AM
My grandson is learning to read
I hope that he's soon up to speed
So far he's read Plato
Pliny and Cato

Kerlee
04-16-2010, 08:47 AM
My grandson is learning to read
I hope that he's soon up to speed
So far he's read Plato
Pliny and Cato
and has a strange penchant for tweed



the old frog was having a rest

Matera the Mad
04-16-2010, 09:03 AM
The old frog was having a rest
When he noticed a bird on its nest

RevisionIsTheKey
04-16-2010, 09:23 AM
The old frog was having a rest
When he noticed a bird on its nest
Temptation was strong

Nymtoc
04-16-2010, 03:00 PM
The old frog was having a rest
When he noticed a bird on its nest
Temptation was strong
To croak out a song

Kerlee
04-16-2010, 03:10 PM
The old frog was having a rest
When he noticed a bird on its nest
Temptation was strong
To croak out a song
'til bird's beak impaled his chest




I once saw a stinky goanna

flyingtart
04-16-2010, 03:42 PM
I once saw a stinky goanna
Eating a blackened banana

Sir_Nigel
04-16-2010, 04:17 PM
I once saw a stinky goanna
Eating a blackened banana
Then he lounged on a rock

flyingtart
04-16-2010, 04:48 PM
I once saw a stinky goanna
Eating a blackened banana
Then he lounged on a rock
In a pink frilly frock

Kerlee
04-16-2010, 04:56 PM
I once saw a stinky goanna
Eating a blackened banana
Then he lounged on a rock
In a pink frilly frock
and said 'y'all call me Joanna'




a couple went out on a jaunt

Sir_Nigel
04-16-2010, 05:33 PM
a couple went out on a jaunt
but the fellow looked tired and gaunt

flyingtart
04-16-2010, 06:01 PM
a couple went out on a jaunt
but the fellow looked tired and gaunt
He turned and said

Sir_Nigel
04-16-2010, 06:38 PM
a couple went out on a jaunt
but the fellow looked tired and gaunt
He turned and said
'I got locked in the shed'

Autodidact
04-16-2010, 10:09 PM
a couple went out on a jaunt
but the fellow looked tired and gaunt
He turned and said
'I got locked in the shed,
That's why I'm no bon vivant.'


One day on the South Jersey Shore,

RevisionIsTheKey
04-16-2010, 10:23 PM
One day on the South Jersey Shore,
I bumped into V.P. Al Gore

flyingtart
04-16-2010, 11:19 PM
One day on the South Jersey Shore,
I bumped into V.P. Al Gore
"Hey Al!" Said I,

Nymtoc
04-17-2010, 01:24 AM
One day on the South Jersey Shore,
I bumped into V.P. Al Gore
"Hey Al!" Said I,
"What's happenin', big guy?"

archerjoe
04-17-2010, 03:09 AM
One day on the South Jersey Shore,
I bumped into V.P. Al Gore
"Hey Al!" Said I,
"What's happenin', big guy?"
"Dodging paparazzi's a chore."

A hyper aggressive seagull

RevisionIsTheKey
04-17-2010, 03:25 AM
A hyper aggressive seagull
Had its eye on a snoozing beagle

Matera the Mad
04-17-2010, 08:36 AM
A hyper aggressive seagull
Had its eye on a snoozing beagle
The ears? No, the tail

RevisionIsTheKey
04-17-2010, 09:11 AM
A hyper aggressive seagull
Had its eye on a snoozing beagle
The ears? No, the tail
The dog let out a wail

Kerlee
04-17-2010, 01:24 PM
A hyper aggressive seagull
Had its eye on a snoozing beagle
The ears? No, the tail
The dog let out a wail
'asshole you know that's illegal'





ant rode along with the cricket

Meaney
04-17-2010, 04:56 PM
The ant rode along with the cricket
(The cricket had had a spare ticket)

HappyToWrite
04-17-2010, 05:24 PM
The ant rode along with the cricket
(The cricket had had a spare ticket)
and even though he had told him to stick it

Nymtoc
04-17-2010, 05:32 PM
Uh-oh...The above post won't work for a limerick. The third and fourth lines should each have five (sometimes six) syllables and must introduce a new rhyme. The rhythm should be Da DUM da-da Dum (or Da DUM da-da DUM-DUM). Examples: "They walked for a mile" or "They went to the river." :D

archerjoe
04-17-2010, 05:58 PM
Here's one that works:

The ant rode along with the cricket
(The cricket had had a spare ticket)
He said "Thanks for the ride"

oneblindmouse
04-17-2010, 08:53 PM
The ant rode along with the cricket
(the cricket had had a spare ticket)
He said "Thanks for the ride"
which just wounded his pride

Paul
04-17-2010, 09:14 PM
a couple went out on a jaunt
but the fellow looked tired and gaunt
he turned to his wife

RevisionIsTheKey
04-18-2010, 01:03 AM
Something must be in the water today....

Paul, you accidentally added to the limerick at the bottom of page 499.

Silly goose!

RevisionIsTheKey
04-18-2010, 01:12 AM
The ant rode along with the cricket
(the cricket had had a spare ticket)
He said "Thanks for the ride"
which just wounded his pride
Next time he'll more carefully pick it.

The verse today sounds a bit loopy

Kerlee
04-18-2010, 02:37 AM
I noticed Paul's booboo is the exact same line which I did.. I might mention I refreshed my page numerous times to ensure that didn't happen but alas... the joke woz on me

Kerlee
04-18-2010, 02:39 AM
.The verse today sounds a bit loopy
must be coz the eyes are all droopy

Paul
04-18-2010, 02:52 AM
.The verse today sounds a bit loopy
must be coz the eyes are all droopy
i yawn and i yawn

Kerlee
04-18-2010, 02:54 AM
The verse today sounds a bit loopy
must be coz the eyes are all droopy
i yawn and i yawn
releasing gross spawn

Paul
04-18-2010, 02:56 AM
The verse today sounds a bit loopy
must be coz the eyes are all droopy
i yawn and i yawn
releasing gross spawn
and feeling a little like Snoopy

It's not that I don't have a date

RevisionIsTheKey
04-18-2010, 03:19 AM
It's not that I don't have a date
It's just she takes time to inflate

archerjoe
04-18-2010, 03:53 AM
It's not that I don't have a date
It's just she takes time to inflate
With those come-hither eyes

RevisionIsTheKey
04-18-2010, 04:07 AM
It's not that I don't have a date
It's just she takes time to inflate
With those come-hither eyes
And lush latex thighs

Nymtoc
04-18-2010, 04:13 AM
It's not that I don't have a date
It's just she takes time to inflate
With those come-hither eyes
And lush latex thighs
She's not quite a 10, but she's an 8.

Every boy in our class fell for Millie

RevisionIsTheKey
04-18-2010, 07:22 AM
Every boy in our class fell for Millie
The easiest girl in South Philly

Matera the Mad
04-18-2010, 08:40 AM
Every boy in our class fell for Millie
The easiest girl in South Philly
They carried her books

archerjoe
04-18-2010, 09:57 AM
Every boy in our class fell for Millie
The easiest girl in South Philly
They carried her books
With adoring looks

Kerlee
04-18-2010, 02:11 PM
Every boy in our class fell for Millie
The easiest girl in South Philly
They carried her books
With adoring looks
But she knew they all guilded the lily





the strongman was taking a break

oneblindmouse
04-18-2010, 04:06 PM
The strongman was taking a break,
Two pies, three beers and a steak

flyingtart
04-18-2010, 10:22 PM
The strongman was taking a break,
Two pies, three beers and a steak
But instead of a beer

CDSinex
04-19-2010, 01:08 AM
The strongman was taking a break,
Two pies, three beers and a steak
But instead of a beer
He drank what was near.