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Carole
09-29-2005, 04:29 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
As I'd flit and I'd flutter

reph
09-29-2005, 04:37 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
But maybe I'd molt

poetinahat
09-29-2005, 04:43 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
As I'd flit and I'd flutter
I'd cause folks to shudder

threedogpeople
09-29-2005, 04:48 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
But maybe I'd molt

I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
But maybe I'd molt
'til I feel like a dolt

Pat~
09-29-2005, 06:04 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
As I'd flit and I'd flutter
I'd cause folks to shudder
But I love doing dangerous things.

A dog on a log in a bog

Yeshanu
09-29-2005, 06:10 AM
I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
As I'd flit and I'd flutter
I'd cause folks to shudder
'Cause along with the wings I'd have stings!

I wish I'd been born with grand wings
The feeling that smooth soaring brings
But maybe I'd molt
'til I feel like a dolt
Then exit after packing my things.


(Edit: Use the dog on a log prompt...)

Meaney
09-29-2005, 06:43 AM
I'm glad I stayed out of that fray. We need some rules for this thread. :faint:

A dog on a log in a bog
Got busy digging dirt in his blog

poetinahat
09-29-2005, 07:46 AM
I'm glad I stayed out of that fray. We need some rules for this thread. :faint:
You're not wrong, Meaney. Too much for this one-track mind to follow. (By the way, what's with the different font all the time? Huh? Huh?)

A dog on a log in a bog
Got busy digging dirt in his blog <-- attention, meter police
But a hog in the fog

Pat~
09-29-2005, 08:55 AM
A dog on a log in a bog
Got busy digging dirt in his blog
But a hog in the fog
Began dialogue

reph
09-29-2005, 09:35 AM
(Meter police? Speaking of literary law enforcement, let's get the rhyme gendarmes in here. Limericks go "aabba," not "aaaaa.")

A dog on a log in a bog
Got busy digging dirt in his blog
But a hog in the fog
Began dialogue
With "Welcome, friends! Have an egg nog!"

Transcriptionists met in Missouri

poetinahat
09-29-2005, 09:54 AM
(Meter police? Speaking of literary law enforcement, let's get the rhyme gendarmes in here. Limericks go "aabba," not "aaaaa.")
I say "aaaaa":"aabba"::square:rectangle. You'll never make it stick, copper!

Transcriptionists met in Missouri
where native handwriting is blurry

Pthom
09-29-2005, 10:19 AM
Transcriptionists met in Missouri
where native handwriting is blurry.
But they perservered

reph
09-29-2005, 10:51 AM
Transcriptionists met in Missouri
where native handwriting is blurry.
But they all persevered
With notations so weird

poetinahat
09-29-2005, 10:56 AM
Transcriptionists met in Missouri
where native handwriting is blurry.
But they all persevered
With notations so weird
That the state gave up trial by jury

If you eat everything on your plate

Pthom
09-29-2005, 12:04 PM
If you eat everything on your plate
And to Sunday school never are late,

Meaney
09-29-2005, 03:07 PM
I say "aaaaa":"aabba"::square:rectangle. You'll never make it stick, copper!Props.


(By the way, what's with the different font all the time? Huh? Huh?)Franklin Gothic. Great name for a character, no?


If you eat everything on your plate
And to Sunday school never are late,
and you always say please,

Pat~
09-29-2005, 04:13 PM
If you eat everything on your plate
And to Sunday school never are late,
and you always say please,
you might start to wheeze

threedogpeople
09-29-2005, 10:45 PM
If you eat everything on your plate
And to Sunday school never are late,
and you always say please,
you might start to wheeze
in a holy and satisfied state.

I made pasta for dinner last night

Pthom
09-30-2005, 12:34 AM
I made pasta for dinner last night
And they tell me it came out all right.

threedogpeople
09-30-2005, 01:00 AM
I made pasta for dinner last night
And they tell me it came out all right.
I put cheese in the sauce

Pat~
09-30-2005, 02:03 AM
I made pasta for dinner last night
And they tell me it came out all right.
I put cheese in the sauce
(That pleases The Boss)

poetinahat
09-30-2005, 02:11 AM
Franklin Gothic. Great name for a character, no?
Yeah! Better than my brainstorm this morning: Xavier Breath....

I made pasta for dinner last night
And they tell me it came out all right.
I put cheese in the sauce
(That pleases The Boss)
and Greg Brady said, "Gee! Outta sight!"

For the hundred-and-fiftieth time

threedogpeople
09-30-2005, 02:26 AM
For the hundred-and-fiftieth time
You can not buy our house for a dime

Alphabet
09-30-2005, 02:43 AM
For the hundred-and-fiftieth time
You can not buy our house for a dime
It is worth more than that

Unique
09-30-2005, 03:01 AM
For the hundred-and-fiftieth time
You can not buy our house for a dime
It is worth more than that
Just go ask my cat

reph
09-30-2005, 03:14 AM
For the hundred-and-fiftieth time
You can not buy our house for a dime
It is worth more than that
Just go ask my cat
Now please let me get back to my rhyme!

Do you think squirrels dream about peanuts?

poetinahat
09-30-2005, 03:24 AM
Do you think squirrels dream about peanuts?
Are they saner, or less so, than we nuts?

Meaney
09-30-2005, 11:32 AM
Do you think squirrels dream about peanuts?
Are they saner, or less so, than we nuts?
We dream about sex.

Unique
09-30-2005, 02:25 PM
Do you think squirrels dream about peanuts?
Are they saner, or less so, than we nuts?
We dream about sex.
while chasing T-Rex

Pat~
09-30-2005, 07:26 PM
Do you think squirrels dream about peanuts?
Are they saner, or less so, than we nuts?
We dream about sex.
while chasing T-Rex
and landing the perfect double lutz.

[well, hey, I do anyway...]

The mobster got sent to the slammer (I'm tired of franklin gothic)

Meaney
09-30-2005, 08:43 PM
The mobster got sent to the slammer
For using abominable grammar


[sorry, Pat; I'm prejudiced against Comic Sans]

Unique
09-30-2005, 08:49 PM
The mobster got sent to the slammer
For using abominable grammar
His verb and his nouns

threedogpeople
09-30-2005, 09:02 PM
The mobster got sent to the slammer
For using abominable grammar
His verb and his nouns
were all mixed around

Pat~
09-30-2005, 09:11 PM
The mobster got sent to the slammer
For using abominable grammar
His verb and his nouns
were all mixed around
and each sentence began with a stammer.

I thought that I'd write you a sonnet

Solatium
10-01-2005, 06:54 AM
I thought that I'd write you a sonnet.
I'm stalling; I ought to get on it.

reph
10-01-2005, 10:43 AM
I thought that I'd write you a sonnet.
I'm stalling; I ought to get on it.
Just as soon as I find

poetinahat
10-01-2005, 03:44 PM
I thought that I'd write you a sonnet.
I'm stalling; I ought to get on it.
Just as soon as I find
a muse who's aligned

Yeshanu
10-01-2005, 09:02 PM
I thought that I'd write you a sonnet.
I'm stalling; I ought to get on it.
Just as soon as I find
a muse who's aligned
with the poetic bee in my bonnet.


The leaves on the trees are all yellow

threedogpeople
10-01-2005, 09:14 PM
The leaves on the trees are all yellow
and we crave hot chocolate with marshmallow**




**I like more than one marshmallow but that doesn't rhyme. http://absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif

reph
10-02-2005, 07:42 AM
The leaves on the trees are all yellow
and we crave hot chocolate with marshmallow
As we dress all in wool

Honey Nut Loop
10-02-2005, 01:35 PM
The leaves on the trees are all yellow
and we crave hot chocolate with marshmallow
As we dress all in wool,
We're feeling quite full,

Carole
10-02-2005, 07:28 PM
The leaves on the trees are all yellow
and we crave hot chocolate with marshmallow
As we dress all in wool,
We're feeling quite full,
from the pumpkin face made out of jello.
_____________

I once found a shiny new penny

Unique
10-02-2005, 09:34 PM
I once found a shiny new penny
Twas odd since I hadn't found many

Meaney
10-03-2005, 05:21 AM
I once found a shiny new penny
'Twas odd since I hadn't found many
But to my chagrin

Pat~
10-03-2005, 05:39 AM
I once found a shiny new penny
'Twas odd since I hadn't found many
But to my chagrin
I lost it again

Meaney
10-03-2005, 08:12 AM
I once found a shiny new penny
'Twas odd since I hadn't found many
But to my chagrin
I lost it again
'Twas as if I'd never found any.

My gym teacher in second grade

reph
10-03-2005, 08:31 AM
My gym teacher in second grade
Doubled as a housekeeper and maid

Solatium
10-03-2005, 12:32 PM
My gym teacher in second grade
Doubled as a housekeeper and maid
And had one other duty

Meaney
10-03-2005, 12:59 PM
My gym teacher in second grade
Doubled as a housekeeper and maid
And had one other duty:
to shake that fine booty

threedogpeople
10-03-2005, 11:55 PM
My gym teacher in second grade
Doubled as a housekeeper and maid
And had one other duty:
to shake that fine booty
Only in my kid dreams, I got laid.

Pthom
10-04-2005, 12:04 AM
... and?

Carole
10-04-2005, 12:31 AM
*crickets chirping*

Unique
10-04-2005, 02:06 AM
A sprightly old lady from Leeds

Yeshanu
10-04-2005, 02:42 AM
A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds

Carole
10-04-2005, 02:54 AM
A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg

Unique
10-04-2005, 03:02 AM
A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg
and then started to beg

poetinahat
10-04-2005, 03:06 AM
A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg
and then started to beg
for photosynthetic misdeeds

The lions and tigers and bears

Pthom
10-04-2005, 03:26 AM
The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs

threedogpeople
10-04-2005, 06:34 AM
The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips

poetinahat
10-04-2005, 06:40 AM
The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips,
Gladys Knight and the Pips

Pthom
10-04-2005, 08:34 AM
The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips,
Gladys Knight and the Pips
And said, "This beats drafty old lairs."

But the tigers had their own agenda

reph
10-04-2005, 10:25 AM
But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda

PattiTheWicked
10-04-2005, 04:37 PM
But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze

Carole
10-04-2005, 05:33 PM
But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
they earned all their fees

Unique
10-04-2005, 05:34 PM
But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
While scratching their fleas

threedogpeople
10-04-2005, 11:08 PM
But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
While scratching their fleas
and wound up in a pile up-enda (literary license, OK?)

The bears began beating a path

Unique
10-05-2005, 12:17 AM
The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath

PattiTheWicked
10-05-2005, 01:32 AM
The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing

Unique
10-05-2005, 02:30 AM
The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing
While the bears were obsessing

poetinahat
10-05-2005, 02:35 AM
The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing
While the bears were obsessing
about how to stage 'Grapes of Wrath'

So the lions took up a collection

PattiTheWicked
10-05-2005, 02:56 AM
So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection

Pat~
10-05-2005, 03:17 AM
So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.

reph
10-05-2005, 03:30 AM
So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.
And they merciless-LEE

Meaney
10-05-2005, 06:57 AM
So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.
And mercilessly
gave the tigers the best seating section.

The tigers that night had a ball

Pthom
10-05-2005, 07:00 AM
The tigers that night had a ball
With the bears and the lions and all.

Solatium
10-05-2005, 08:14 AM
The tigers that night had a ball
With the bears and the lions and all.
They ended their revels

poetinahat
10-05-2005, 08:19 AM
The tigers that night had a ball
With the bears and the lions and all.
They ended their revels
with T-squares and levels

Pthom
10-05-2005, 10:19 AM
The tigers that night had a ball
With the bears and the lions and all.
They ended their revels
with T-squares and levels
And drew up a huge shopping mall.


When a new pair of shoes doesn't fit

reph
10-05-2005, 11:16 AM
When a new pair of shoes doesn't fit
You can rub it with paste wax and spit

poetinahat
10-05-2005, 11:54 AM
When a new pair of shoes doesn't fit
You can rub it with paste wax and spit
If you do, don't forget

Meaney
10-05-2005, 05:10 PM
When a new pair of shoes doesn't fit
You can rub it with paste wax and spit
If you do, don't forget
the tar de cigarette

Pat~
10-05-2005, 07:03 PM
When a new pair of shoes doesn't fit
You can rub it with paste wax and spit
If you do, don't forget
the tar de cigarette
You'll find it won't hurt them a bit.

When giving a speech to your peers

poetinahat
10-05-2005, 07:09 PM
When giving a speech to your peers
take care not to bore the poor dears

PattiTheWicked
10-05-2005, 07:12 PM
When giving a speech to your peers
take care not to bore the poor dears
You might make them snooze

Pthom
10-06-2005, 02:46 AM
When giving a speech to your peers
take care not to bore the poor dears
You might make them snooze
and for that, you would lose

poetinahat
10-06-2005, 02:53 AM
When giving a speech to your peers
take care not to bore the poor dears
You might make them snooze
and for that, you would lose
Any chance of a few volunteers

A town with two bars and no church

Zonk
10-06-2005, 03:12 AM
A town with two bars and no church
can be found if you're willing to search


:D:D:D

Unique
10-06-2005, 03:23 AM
A town with two bars and no church
can be found if you're willing to search
but don't look in the South

Meaney
10-06-2005, 07:40 AM
A town with two bars and no church
can be found if you're willing to search
but don't look in the South
for a beer-swilling mouth

poetinahat
10-06-2005, 07:48 AM
A town with two bars and no church
can be found if you're willing to search
but don't look in the South
for a beer-swilling mouth
'Less you want your butt whupped with a birch

A Martian, King Tut, and the Pope

Pthom
10-06-2005, 09:07 AM
A Martian, King Tut, and the Pope
All tried out some soap on a rope.

reph
10-06-2005, 09:55 AM
A Martian, King Tut, and the Pope
All tried out some soap on a rope.
Then they shampooed their hair

threedogpeople
10-06-2005, 09:56 AM
A Martian, King Tut, and the Pope
All tried out some soap on a rope.
Then they shampooed their hair,
also washing "down there",

Unique
10-06-2005, 11:42 PM
A Martian, King Tut, and the Pope
All tried out some soap on a rope.
Then they shampooed their hair,
also washing "down there",
It's sad but they're all out of hope.


A wily gunfighter named West

Pthom
10-07-2005, 01:59 AM
A wily gunfighter named West
Thought he'd do what he could that was best

Carole
10-07-2005, 02:00 AM
A wily gunfighter named West
Thought he'd do what he could that was best
Being quick on the draw

Pthom
10-07-2005, 02:03 AM
A wily gunfighter named West
Thought he'd do what he could that was best
Being quick on the draw
With a plug in his jaw

poetinahat
10-07-2005, 02:49 AM
A wily gunfighter named West
Thought he'd do what he could that was best
Being quick on the draw
With a plug in his jaw
But he can't, since his gun's repossessed

The lovers, the dreamers and me*




*: extra rep points for knowing where this comes from

Pat~
10-07-2005, 05:16 AM
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Is a song sung by Kermit, you see*

* "The Rainbow Connection"

written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams



Kermit: Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.


All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...


... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.


Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

PattiTheWicked
10-07-2005, 05:31 AM
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Is a song sung by Kermit, you see
and ol' Fozzie Bear

threedogpeople
10-07-2005, 05:53 AM
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Is a song sung by Kermit, you see
and ol' Fozzie Bear
lives life without care

Zonk
10-07-2005, 06:15 AM
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Is a song sung by Kermit, you see
and ol' Fozzie Bear
lives life without care
On the street that they call Sesame


The was a young fellow named Hyde


:D:D:D

PattiTheWicked
10-07-2005, 07:19 AM
The was a young fellow named Hyde
who climbed on his pony to ride

threedogpeople
10-07-2005, 07:30 AM
The was a young fellow named Hyde
who climbed on his pony to ride
'til he began to ache

reph
10-07-2005, 10:32 AM
There was a young fellow named Hyde
who climbed on his pony to ride
'til he started to ache [meter adjusted]
And yelled "Hey, where's the brake?"

poetinahat
10-07-2005, 10:39 AM
There was a young fellow named Hyde
who climbed on his pony to ride
'til he started to ache [meter adjusted]
And yelled "Hey, where's the brake?
I'm Jekyll, not Bonnie and Clyde!"

When Caesar strode into the Senate

reph
10-07-2005, 11:54 AM
When Caesar did Senateward stride, yeah,

???

poetinahat
10-07-2005, 11:57 AM
What's wrong with the original line? Looks fine to me.

Pat~
10-07-2005, 12:00 PM
When Caesar strode into the Senate
He shouted, "I told you, I meant it!"

Pthom
10-07-2005, 11:57 PM
When Caesar strode into the Senate
He shouted, "I told you, I meant it!"
He then in his toga

Unique
10-08-2005, 12:00 AM
When Caesar strode into the Senate
He shouted, "I told you, I meant it!"
He then in his toga
went back to his yoga

PattiTheWicked
10-08-2005, 12:22 AM
When Caesar strode into the Senate
He shouted, "I told you, I meant it!"
He then in his toga
went back to his yoga
and turned on some Loreena McKennitt.

But later, when Brutus came in

threedogpeople
10-08-2005, 12:44 AM
But later, when Brutus came in
all covered in crap to his chin

Pat~
10-09-2005, 05:11 AM
But later, when Brutus came in
all covered in crap to his chin
he turned off the music

mkcbunny
10-09-2005, 05:25 AM
But later, when Brutus came in
all covered in crap to his chin
he turned off the music
and washed off his whoosit

Lantern Jack
10-09-2005, 12:03 PM
I tire of your toves and your mimsies.
A truth which only this him sees.
Either call it or a wrap,
or you'll get a slap,
No more e-tomes spun on a whim, please.

Lantern Jack
10-09-2005, 12:07 PM
On my behind appears there a dapple,
Hued as an unjuiced Granny Apple.
It turneth me gut,
this growth on me butt.
"While out, shall I fetch anyone a Snapple?"

Lantern Jack
10-09-2005, 12:11 PM
I once knew a gal who, like Venus,
Could levitate any man's weenus.
Up it would go,
The opposite of slow,
Before you say even T-Minus!

Lantern Jack
10-09-2005, 12:13 PM
I am bored, quite, O and alas.
I'm down to the dregs of me glass.
My prose, she can't ripple,
So much as a nipple,
I'm too bored to finish this, you do it...

poetinahat
10-09-2005, 03:26 PM
But later, when Brutus came in
all covered in crap to his chin
he turned off the music
and washed off his whoosit
then danced on the head of a pin

Can anyone tell me the way

Meaney
10-09-2005, 03:58 PM
Lantern Jack, the rule of this thread is that you supply one line of a limerick at a time. If you finish the limerick, you begin the next.

Meaney
10-09-2005, 04:11 PM
Can anyone tell me the way
from tap dance to modern ballet?

reph
10-09-2005, 09:56 PM
Can anyone tell me the way
from tap dance to modern ballet?
And are these the wrong shoes

DeniseK
10-09-2005, 09:58 PM
Can anyone tell me the way
from tap dance to modern ballet?
And are these the wrong shoes
to boogie woogy to the blues?

poetinahat
10-10-2005, 02:58 AM
Can anyone tell me the way
from tap dance to modern ballet?
And are these the wrong shoes
to boogie woogy to the blues?
If Tommy Tune says so, OK

I've worked my way up from the bottom

Unique
10-10-2005, 03:07 AM
I've worked my way up from the bottom
Rejections, a fistful - I've got 'em

Yeshanu
10-10-2005, 05:37 AM
I've worked my way up from the bottom
Rejections, a fistful - I've got 'em
One day I'll be rich

poetinahat
10-10-2005, 05:48 AM
I've worked my way up from the bottom
Rejections, a fistful - I've got 'em
One day I'll be rich
'cause the public loves kitsch

Alphabet
10-11-2005, 10:00 AM
I've worked my way up from the bottom
Rejections, a fistful - I've got 'em
One day I'll be rich
'cause the public loves kitsch
And have I got a kitchen or not one?

A new day is dawning, my friend

Pthom
10-11-2005, 10:35 AM
A new day is dawning, my friend
When to our assignments we wend

pianoman5
10-11-2005, 01:22 PM
A new day is dawning, my friend
When to our assignments we wend
With ten digits flying

Meaney
10-11-2005, 04:17 PM
A new day is dawning, my friend
When to our assignments we wend
With ten digits flying
and no-one replying

poetinahat
10-11-2005, 04:27 PM
A new day is dawning, my friend
When to our assignments we wend
With ten digits flying
and no-one replying
We'll have Sweet FA cash to spend

I picked the wrong wish to come true:

PattiTheWicked
10-11-2005, 04:31 PM
I picked the wrong wish to come true:
but sometimes we have to make do

poetinahat
10-11-2005, 04:40 PM
I picked the wrong wish to come true:
but sometimes we have to make do
So now that I'm weightless,

Pthom
10-12-2005, 12:31 AM
I picked the wrong wish to come true:
but sometimes we have to make do
So now that I'm weightless,
I'm glad that I ate less

Unique
10-12-2005, 02:13 AM
I picked the wrong wish to come true:
but sometimes we have to make do
So now that I'm weightless,
I'm glad that I ate less
To better display this tatoo.



A cranky old mare they called Belle

PattiTheWicked
10-12-2005, 02:16 AM
A cranky old mare they called Belle
developed an interesting smell

reph
10-12-2005, 03:26 AM
A cranky old mare they called Belle
developed an interesting smell
It wasn't patchouli

mkcbunny
10-12-2005, 03:30 AM
A cranky old mare they called Belle
developed an interesting smell
It wasn't patchouli
nor pasta fazool

poetinahat
10-12-2005, 03:54 AM
A cranky old mare they called Belle
developed an interesting smell
It wasn't patchouli
nor pasta fazool
But it told us she didn't feel well

A French commandant named Laporte

Pthom
10-12-2005, 05:08 AM
A French commandant named Laporte
Was reviewing his troops in the fort

mkcbunny
10-12-2005, 05:10 AM
A French commandant named Laporte
Was reviewing his troops in the fort
when yon he heard cannons

Meaney
10-12-2005, 05:34 AM
A French commandant named Laporte
Was reviewing his troops in the fort
when yon he heard cannons,
said, "Ambush! My plan ends!"

PattiTheWicked
10-12-2005, 06:41 AM
A French commandant named Laporte
Was reviewing his troops in the fort
when yon he heard cannons,
said, "Ambush! My plan ends!"
and to his soldiers he shouted "abort!"

An army consisting of mice

Pat~
10-12-2005, 06:44 AM
An army consisting of mice
Lay seige to a pantry of rice

Meaney
10-12-2005, 04:17 PM
An army consisting of mice
Lay siege to a pantry of rice
But their battering ram

Unique
10-12-2005, 04:20 PM
An army consisting of mice
Lay siege to a pantry of rice
But their battering ram
made of strawberry jam

Meaney
10-12-2005, 04:28 PM
An army consisting of mice
Lay siege to a pantry of rice
But their battering ram
made of strawberry jam
was ridiculously imprecise.

The pantry withstood the assault

PattiTheWicked
10-12-2005, 07:55 PM
The pantry withstood the assault
(it was locked up tight as a vault)

reph
10-12-2005, 08:26 PM
The pantry withstood the assault
(it was locked up tight as a vault)
The mousies withdrew

Zonk
10-12-2005, 09:25 PM
The pantry withstood the assault
(it was locked up tight as a vault)
The mousies withdrew
A new plan to brew


:D:D:D

Unique
10-12-2005, 09:29 PM
The pantry withstood the assault
(it was locked up tight as a vault)
The mousies withdrew
A new plan to brew
They started with basic Gestalt.


A virtuous barmaid from Kent

pconsidine
10-12-2005, 09:47 PM
A virtuous barmaid from Kent
walked with legs that couldn't be bent.

Pat~
10-13-2005, 08:28 AM
A virtuous barmaid from Kent
walked with legs that couldn't be bent.
When she tried to sit down

reph
10-13-2005, 09:07 AM
A virtuous barmaid from Kent
walked with legs that couldn't be bent.
When she tried to sit down
She would shock the whole town

poetinahat
10-13-2005, 10:21 AM
A virtuous barmaid from Kent
walked with legs that couldn't be bent.
When she tried to sit down
She would shock the whole town
by giving up knickers for Lent

The courtship of Browning and Barrett

reph
10-13-2005, 11:14 AM
The courtship of Browning and Barrett
Was brimming with poetic merit

Zonk
10-13-2005, 07:25 PM
The courtship of Browning and Barrett
Was brimming with poetic merit
With lines finely metered


:D:D:D

Meaney
10-14-2005, 03:31 AM
The courtship of Browning and Barrett
Was brimming with poetic merit
With lines finely metered
their love never petered

poetinahat
10-14-2005, 03:44 AM
The courtship of Browning and Barrett
Was brimming with poetic merit
With lines finely metered
their love never petered
The romantic shoe fits, so they'll wear it

The difference between you and me

Unique
10-14-2005, 04:03 AM
The difference between you and me
is not always easy to see

Pthom
10-14-2005, 04:44 AM
The difference between you and me
Is not always easy to see.
But we struggle along,

pianoman5
10-14-2005, 07:03 AM
The difference between you and me
Is not always easy to see.
But we struggle along,
In Speedos and thong

Zonk
10-14-2005, 08:12 AM
The difference between you and me
Is not always easy to see.
But we struggle along,
In Speedos and thong
Tweedledum versus Tweedledee...


A lady of uncertain age


:D:D:D

poetinahat
10-14-2005, 08:42 AM
A lady of uncertain age
danced topless for years in a cage

Unique
10-14-2005, 10:28 PM
A lady of uncertain age
danced topless for years in a cage
but one day she said

pconsidine
10-15-2005, 01:31 AM
A lady of uncertain age
danced topless for years in a cage
but one day she said,
"I'd be better off dead

threedogpeople
10-15-2005, 01:37 AM
A lady of uncertain age
danced topless for years in a cage
but one day she said,
"I'd be better off dead
than jiggling for minimum wage."


I saw the doc about my hands

Unique
10-15-2005, 03:10 AM
I saw the doc about my hands
He said they looked like old tin cans

threedogpeople
10-15-2005, 03:25 AM
I saw the doc about my hands
He said they looked like old tin cans
a little rusted

Unique
10-15-2005, 05:32 AM
I saw the doc about my hands
He said they looked like old tin cans
a little rusted
not to be trusted

Meaney
10-15-2005, 03:52 PM
I saw the doc about my hands
He said they looked like old tin cans
a little rusted
not to be trusted
(like old Volkswagen Combi vans)

The spaceman stepped out of his craft

Carole
10-15-2005, 07:38 PM
The spaceman stepped out of his craft
And instantly fell down a shaft

threedogpeople
10-15-2005, 07:45 PM
The spaceman stepped out of his craft
And instantly fell down a shaft
His airhose got tangled

Pat~
10-16-2005, 03:25 AM
The spaceman stepped out of his craft
And instantly fell down a shaft
His airhose got tangled
His helmet got mangled

rhymegirl
10-16-2005, 04:13 AM
The spaceman stepped out of his craft
And instantly fell down a shaft
His airhose got tangled
His helmet got mangled--
This spaceman was really quite daft!


There's a full moon right now in the sky

Tiaga
10-16-2005, 04:20 AM
There's a full moon right now in the sky
She sips her Manhattan, I nurse my rye

reph
10-16-2005, 04:29 AM
. . . umm, er, too many syllables . . .

Tiaga
10-16-2005, 04:56 AM
. . . umm, er, too many syllables . . .

your right but only two in cymbals

Unique
10-16-2005, 04:58 AM
There's a full moon right now in the sky
She sips her Manhattan, I nurse my rye
But we're at the bar




(can we fix it?)

Pthom
10-16-2005, 06:40 AM
There's a full moon right now in the sky
She sips her Manhattan, I nurse my rye
But we're at the bar




(can we fix it?)We could try this:

There's a full moon right now in the sky
She sips her Manhattan and I
Nurse my rye at the bar,
Put a tip in the jar

rhymegirl
10-16-2005, 07:53 AM
[QUOTE=Pthom]We could try this:

There's a full moon right now in the sky
She sips her Manhattan and I
Nurse my rye at the bar,
Put a tip in the jar
With my other hand rubbing her thigh.

Very soon it will be Halloween!

threedogpeople
10-16-2005, 10:51 PM
Very soon it will be Halloween!
and the kids will make quite a scene

Unique
10-16-2005, 11:14 PM
Very soon it will be Halloween!
and the kids will make quite a scene
They'll squeal and they'll squall

threedogpeople
10-17-2005, 12:58 AM
Very soon it will be Halloween!
and the kids will make quite a scene
They'll squeal and they'll squall
(they'll make quite a haul)

Pat~
10-17-2005, 01:39 AM
Very soon it will be Halloween!
and the kids will make quite a scene
They'll squeal and they'll squall
(they'll make quite a haul)
till eating those treats turns them green.

I fell on a cactus while hiking

threedogpeople
10-17-2005, 01:40 AM
I fell on a cactus while hiking
It really was not to my liking

Alphabet
10-17-2005, 02:23 AM
I fell on a cactus while hiking
It really was not to my liking
One needle got stuck

reph
10-17-2005, 03:41 AM
I fell on a cactus while hiking
It really was not to my liking
One needle got stuck
In my knee, just my luck!

threedogpeople
10-17-2005, 04:27 AM
I fell on a cactus while hiking
It really was not to my liking
One needle got stuck
In my knee, just my luck!
At least I wasn't out biking.


I bought some strawberry ice cream

Meaney
10-17-2005, 04:36 AM
I bought some strawberry ice cream
through a fraudulent pyramid scheme

Tiaga
10-17-2005, 04:49 AM
I bought some strawberry ice cream
through a fraudulent pyramid scheme
The cones turned yellow
from this conniving fellow

Alphabet
10-17-2005, 05:09 AM
I bought some strawberry ice cream
through a fraudulent pyramid scheme
The cones turned yellow
from this conniving fellow
Who's moved on to selling sea-bream

Oh why won't they cut me some slack?

threedogpeople
10-17-2005, 06:04 AM
Oh why won't they cut me some slack?
Instead they point out what I lack

poetinahat
10-17-2005, 07:43 AM
Oh why won't they cut me some slack?
Instead they point out what I lack
I don't fill out a sweater

Pthom
10-17-2005, 09:55 AM
Oh why won't they cut me some slack?
Instead they point out what I lack
I don't fill out a sweater
And can't write a letter

Tiaga
10-17-2005, 10:41 AM
Oh why won't they cut me some slack?
Instead they point out what I lack
I don't fill out a sweater
And can't write a letter
don't they know I'm good in the sack!



All dressed up with nowhere to go

poetinahat
10-17-2005, 10:47 AM
All dressed up with nowhere to go,
complained Curly, Larry and Moe

Tiaga
10-17-2005, 10:55 AM
All dressed up with nowhere to go,
complained Curly, Larry and Moe
Who went out on the town

Meaney
10-17-2005, 12:57 PM
All dressed up with nowhere to go,
complained Curly, Larry and Moe,
who went out on the town
wearing 'tween them a crown

Pat~
10-17-2005, 09:55 PM
All dressed up with nowhere to go,
complained Curly, Larry and Moe,
who went out on the town
wearing 'tween them a crown
and a gold ring on every toe.

There once was a man named Clyde

pconsidine
10-17-2005, 10:59 PM
There once was a man named Clyde
whose neurons were permanently fried.

PattiTheWicked
10-17-2005, 11:18 PM
There once was a man named Clyde
whose neurons were permanently fried.
When eating a ham

Pthom
10-17-2005, 11:24 PM
There once was a man named Clyde
whose neurons were permanently fried.
When eating a ham
With strawberry jam

Tiaga
10-17-2005, 11:31 PM
There once was a man named Clyde
whose neurons were permanently fried.
When eating a ham
With strawberry jam
realized he was cross-eyed


The deep blue sea

Pthom
10-17-2005, 11:32 PM
The deep blue sea <-- hasn't enough syllables for the opening line of a limerick

threedogpeople
10-17-2005, 11:38 PM
How about we fix it? How about?

Holding my breath in the deep blue sea

Pthom
10-17-2005, 11:43 PM
Holding my breath in the deep blue sea

Well, this has the right number of syllables...but the meter's wrong. Using normal limerick meter, it'd come out like this:

Holding my breath in the deep blue sea

Let's try a slight modification:


The sea is a deep blue abyss

threedogpeople
10-18-2005, 12:03 AM
The sea is a deep blue abyss,
Although I'm some times clueless,

Unique
10-18-2005, 01:30 AM
The sea is a deep blue abyss,
Although I'm some times clueless,
I swim near and far

Tiaga
10-18-2005, 01:42 AM
The sea is a deep blue abyss,
Although I'm some times clueless,
I swim near and far
to find the pool's bar

poetinahat
10-18-2005, 02:52 AM
The sea is a deep blue abyss,
Although I'm some times clueless,
I swim near and far
to find the pool's bar
and miss Scylla and Charybdis

A number divided by two

Pat~
10-18-2005, 03:00 AM
A number divided by two
Makes it equal for me and for you

Tiaga
10-18-2005, 03:21 AM
A number divided by two
Makes it equal for me and for you
a big piece for us each

PattiTheWicked
10-18-2005, 03:30 AM
A number divided by two
Makes it equal for me and for you
a big piece for us each
is a good way to teach

Unique
10-18-2005, 03:41 AM
A number divided by two
Makes it equal for me and for you
a big piece for us each
is a good way to teach
it's easier serving beef stew.


I had an old playhouse out back

reph
10-18-2005, 06:07 AM
I had an old playhouse out back
Where I'd go for a drink and a snack

poetinahat
10-18-2005, 06:30 AM
I had an old playhouse out back
Where I'd go for a drink and a snack
But one day, Michael Moore

Perks
10-18-2005, 06:36 AM
I had an old playhouse out back
Where I'd go for a drink and a snack
But one day, Michael Moore
Stopped to rant for the poor

Carole
10-18-2005, 06:52 AM
I had an old playhouse out back
Where I'd go for a drink and a snack
But one day, Michael Moore
Stopped to rant for the poor
So my snack and I never went back
_______________

My dog loves to play "Fetch the Bear"

poetinahat
10-18-2005, 09:01 AM
My dog loves to play "Fetch the Bear"
For which our state cops* just don't care


*: see C.W. McCall, Convoy, for more on this CB term.

mkcbunny
10-18-2005, 09:21 AM
My dog loves to play "Fetch the Bear"
For which our state cops* just don't care
But such is my pooch

Meaney
10-18-2005, 12:29 PM
My dog loves to play "Fetch the Bear"
For which our state cops* just don't care
But such is my pooch
that Ursidae mooch

threedogpeople
10-18-2005, 10:23 PM
My dog loves to play "Fetch the Bear"
For which our state cops* just don't care
But such is my pooch
that Ursidae mooch
Brings them back both on foul days and fair.

My uncle's a grumpy old guy

Unique
10-19-2005, 12:24 AM
My uncle's a grumpy old guy
His house is a smelly old sty

Pthom
10-19-2005, 01:22 AM
My uncle's a grumpy old guy
His house is a smelly old sty.
When he makes the bed

Pat~
10-19-2005, 02:27 AM
My uncle's a grumpy old guy
His house is a smelly old sty.
When he makes the bed
The bedbugs see red

Carole
10-19-2005, 03:20 AM
My uncle's a grumpy old guy
His house is a smelly old sty.
When he makes the bed
The bedbugs see red
Unfortunately, I don't lie.
_______________

The knock on the door gave me shivers

rhymegirl
10-19-2005, 03:53 AM
[QUOTE=Carole]My uncle's a grumpy old guy
His house is a smelly old sty.
When he makes the bed
The bedbugs see red
Unfortunately, I don't lie.
_______________

The knock on the door gave me shivers
Cuz behind it stood wrinkly Joan Rivers,

Tiaga
10-19-2005, 05:22 AM
The knock on the door gave me shivers
Cuz behind it stood wrinkly Joan Rivers,
Botoxed from tubes,
Plastic cheek, chin and boobs

Meaney
10-19-2005, 07:56 AM
Tiaga, one line at a time. Not allowed to hog all the glory.

Tiaga
10-19-2005, 11:09 AM
Tiaga, one line at a time. Not allowed to hog all the glory.
Sorry Meaney just trying to tell the story.

Pthom
10-19-2005, 11:55 AM
Using Tiaga's ideas, but fixing a bit of meter, I get this:

The knock on the door gave me shivers
Cuz behind it stood wrinkly Joan Rivers,
Her Botoxed thin skin,
Plastic boobs, cheek and chin


--------------
now quit quibbling and finish it. ;)

Solatium
10-19-2005, 12:15 PM
The knock on the door gave me shivers
Cuz behind it stood wrinkly Joan Rivers,
Her Botoxed thin skin,
Plastic boobs, cheek and chin --
And a memory as long as the Giver's.

---

Good heavens! What do we have here?

Pthom
10-19-2005, 12:19 PM
Good heavens! What do we have here?
Tuna sandwich, an egg and some beer.

poetinahat
10-19-2005, 12:31 PM
Good heavens! What do we have here?
Tuna sandwich, an egg and some beer.
But with some paprika,

Tiaga
10-19-2005, 01:56 PM
Good heavens! What do we have here?
Tuna sandwich, an egg and some beer.
But with some paprika,
we'll soon cry "Eureka"

Meaney
10-20-2005, 08:27 AM
Good heavens! What do we have here?
Tuna sandwich, an egg and some beer.
But with some paprika,
we'll soon cry "Eureka!"
"We've discovered the cure for swimmers' ear!"




Yeah, I know, the meter sucks. So negative rep me.


The grizzly bear chewed on my leg

Pthom
10-20-2005, 09:48 AM
The grizzly bear chewed on my leg
'Cause he ran out of beer; had no egg.

Unique
10-20-2005, 03:16 PM
The grizzly bear chewed on my leg
'Cause he ran out of beer; had no egg.
But with salt and some lime

Tiaga
10-20-2005, 04:55 PM
The grizzly bear chewed on my leg
'Cause he ran out of beer; had no egg.
But with salt and some lime
patience and time

Solatium
10-20-2005, 06:39 PM
The grizzly bear chewed on my leg
'Cause he ran out of beer; had no egg.
But with salt and some lime
patience and time
We'll find him a hen and a keg.

---

The library's haunted, I think

Meaney
10-20-2005, 08:52 PM
The library's haunted, I think.
Well, that's what I said to my shrink.

PattiTheWicked
10-20-2005, 09:32 PM
The library's haunted, I think.
Well, that's what I said to my shrink.
Those books over there

pconsidine
10-20-2005, 09:38 PM
The library's haunted, I think.
Well, that's what I said to my shrink.
Those books over there
are ready to share,

poetinahat
10-21-2005, 03:08 AM
The library's haunted, I think.
Well, that's what I said to my shrink.
Those books over there
are ready to share,
and Shakespeare just gave me a wink.

Last night at a quarter to ten

Pat~
10-21-2005, 03:12 AM
Last night at a quarter to ten
I heard a loud crash in the den

PattiTheWicked
10-21-2005, 03:16 AM
Last night at a quarter to ten
I heard a loud crash in the den
I picked up my beer

Meaney
10-21-2005, 05:09 AM
Last night at a quarter to ten
I heard a loud crash in the den
I picked up my beer
succumbing to fear