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Paul
03-22-2010, 02:53 PM
A friend I bumped into today
in a cathouse in old Monteray
Asked, "Charlie, my friend"

flyingtart
03-22-2010, 05:44 PM
A friend I bumped into today
in a cathouse in old Monteray
Asked, "Charlie, my friend,
Do you think you could send

Sir_Nigel
03-22-2010, 07:02 PM
A friend I bumped into today,
in a cathouse in old Monteray,
asked, "Charlie, my friend,
do you think you could send
in Miss Thrashwell and a seafood buffet?”


Then later exhausted and sore

slcboston
03-22-2010, 07:02 PM
A friend I bumped into today
in a cathouse in old Monteray
Asked, "Charlie, my friend,
Do you think you could send
A dozen antibiotics my way?


Abroad in the land West of Nod

Paul
03-22-2010, 07:09 PM
A friend I bumped into today,
in a cathouse in old Monteray,
asked, "Charlie, my friend,
do you think you could send
in Miss Thrashwell and a seafood buffet?”


Then later exhausted and sore

Have to go with the funnier ending...

Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore (just going with the premise;))

Autodidact
03-22-2010, 09:18 PM
Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore,
"My dear can you give

flyingtart
03-22-2010, 09:26 PM
Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore,
"My dear can you give
Me a reason to live?"

slcboston
03-22-2010, 09:39 PM
Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore,
"My dear can you give
Me a reason to live?"
She said "That'll be fifty more."

Abroad in the land west of Nod


(hopefully not cross-posted this time :D)

rhymegirl
03-22-2010, 09:42 PM
Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore,
"My dear can you give
Me a reason to live?"
She laughed as she slammed the front door.

She thought he just wasn't that cool

Paul
03-22-2010, 09:46 PM
Then later exhausted and sore
he called aside a sprightly young whore,
"My dear can you give
Me a reason to live?"
She said "That'll be fifty more."

Abroad in the land west of Nod


(hopefully not cross-posted this time :D)

Going with funniest post again.

Abroad in the land west of Nod
lived a solitary old gent named Tod

Etola
03-22-2010, 09:49 PM
Abroad in the land west of Nod
lived a solitary old gent named Tod
He lived by his wits

rhymegirl
03-22-2010, 09:54 PM
funny is subjective

Paul
03-22-2010, 10:01 PM
funny is subjective

ha ha!

Sorry rg, but the previous poster was already bumped, so you know...

(plus it was a little funnier...)

Autodidact
03-22-2010, 10:18 PM
Abroad in the land west of Nod
lived a solitary old gent named Tod
He lived by his wits
and his girlfriends tits

CDSinex
03-22-2010, 10:19 PM
Abroad in the land west of Nod
lived a solitary old gent named Tod
He lived by his wits
And survived on tidbits.

oneblindmouse
03-22-2010, 10:55 PM
Abroad in the land west of Nod
lived a solitary old gent named Tod
He lived by his wits
And survived on tidbits
But his neighbours all thought he was odd.

A giraffe with a very short neck

CDSinex
03-22-2010, 10:59 PM
A giraffe with a very short neck
Was sent to a zoo in Quebec.

flyingtart
03-22-2010, 11:00 PM
A giraffe with a very short neck
Was sent to a zoo in Quebec.
The keeper retorted

oneblindmouse
03-22-2010, 11:04 PM
A giraffe with a very short neck
Was sent to a zoo in Quebec.
The keeper retorted
"Now let's get you sorted!"

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 12:59 AM
A giraffe with a very short neck
Was sent to a zoo in Quebec.
The keeper retorted
"Now let's get you sorted!"
To reach the trees we'll have to build you a deck.

A girl I once dated in school.

oneblindmouse
03-23-2010, 01:30 AM
A girl I once dated in school
Was alternative, clever and cool

Paul
03-23-2010, 01:55 AM
A girl I once dated in school
Was alternative, clever and cool
But then she grew breasts

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 02:17 AM
A girl I once dated in school
Was alternative, clever and cool
But then she grew breasts
You can imagine the rest.

flyingtart
03-23-2010, 02:33 AM
A girl I once dated in school
Was alternative, clever and cool
But then she grew breasts
You can imagine the rest
And she made all the older boys drool.


While fishing for trout in a lake

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 02:52 AM
While fishing for trout in a lake
I caught two tires, a boot, and a crate.

Paul
03-23-2010, 04:16 AM
While fishing for trout in a lake
I caught two tires , a boot, and a crate.
So I built a small fire

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 05:46 AM
While fishing for trout in a lake
I caught two tires , a boot, and a crate.
So I built a small fire
The only fuel was the tires.

Matera the Mad
03-23-2010, 09:47 AM
While fishing for trout in a lake
I caught two tires , a boot, and a crate.
So I built a small fire
The only fuel was the tires
The crate, alas, dried out too late

An ice fisherman who was daring

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 11:39 AM
An ice fisherman who was daring
Drove his truck on the ice without caring.

archerjoe
03-23-2010, 03:27 PM
An ice fisherman who was daring
Drove his truck on the ice without caring.
The ice was too thin

Sir_Nigel
03-23-2010, 05:05 PM
An ice fisherman who was daring
Drove his truck on the ice without caring.
The ice was too thin
so the fat sod fell in

Nymtoc
03-23-2010, 05:14 PM
An ice fisherman who was daring
Drove his truck on the ice without caring.
The ice was too thin
so the fat sod fell in
and was promptly consumed by a herring.

Miss Podunk vowed she'd be a star

Etola
03-23-2010, 08:22 PM
Miss Podunk vowed she'd be a star
She told all her friends she'd go far

CDSinex
03-23-2010, 09:12 PM
Miss Podunk vowed she'd be a star
She told all her friends she'd go far
Just how far is on tape.

archerjoe
03-23-2010, 10:08 PM
Miss Podunk vowed she'd be a star
She told all her friends she'd go far
Just how far is on tape.
She's in fantastic shape

Paul
03-24-2010, 03:33 AM
Miss Podunk vowed she'd be a star
She told all her friends she'd go far
Just how far is on tape.
She's in fantastic shape
But her face would scare dogs from afar


Barney had a face like a bucket

Lavern08
03-24-2010, 03:42 AM
Young Terry Tinkle had a good sprinkle
He was limber with nary a wrinkle

Paul
03-24-2010, 03:45 AM
Oh, changed it, cos i thought it was the wrong beat. but fire away...

CDSinex
03-24-2010, 06:23 AM
Young Terry Tinkle had a good sprinkle
He was limber with nary a wrinkle
But he did have one flaw.

archerjoe
03-24-2010, 06:40 AM
Young Terry Tinkle had a good sprinkle
He was limber with nary a wrinkle
But he did have one flaw.
Sadly frowned on by law

RevisionIsTheKey
03-24-2010, 09:17 AM
Young Terry Tinkle had a good sprinkle
He was limber with nary a wrinkle
But he did have one flaw.
Sadly frowned on by law
Now his eyes just don't have that old twinkle.

John's doctor is not very smart

Matera the Mad
03-24-2010, 09:20 AM
John's doctor is not very smart
He used acid to burn off a wart

CDSinex
03-24-2010, 09:23 AM
John's doctor is not very smart
He used acid to burn off a wart
It sizzled and smoked.

CatSlave
03-24-2010, 09:59 AM
John's doctor is not very smart
He used acid to burn off a wart
It sizzled and smoked
"You're on fire, John," he joked

Sir_Nigel
03-24-2010, 05:06 PM
John's doctor is not very smart
He used acid to burn off a wart
It sizzled and smoked
"You're on fire, John," he joked
“And you’re fat and your girlfriends a tart.”


‘It’s true’ said his girlfriend contritely

Lavern08
03-24-2010, 05:47 PM
‘It’s true’ said his girlfriend contritely
"I'm not like that Holly Golightly"

archerjoe
03-24-2010, 06:08 PM
‘It’s true’ said his girlfriend contritely
"I'm not like that Holly Golightly"
I do like to flirt

Paul
03-24-2010, 06:10 PM
‘It’s true’ said his girlfriend contritely
"I'm not like that Holly Golightly
I do like to flirt,
occasionally dish dirt
_____________

Sir_Nigel
03-24-2010, 06:23 PM
‘It’s true’ said his girlfriend contritely
"I'm not like that Holly Golightly
I do like to flirt,
occasionally dish dirt
and I'm banging the doctor twice nightly.



But lo, what fellow goes yonder?

archerjoe
03-24-2010, 06:30 PM
But lo, what fellow goes yonder?
It gives me a headache to ponder

oneblindmouse
03-24-2010, 08:04 PM
But lo, what fellow goes yonder?
It gives me a headache to ponder
Could it be a ghost?

flyingtart
03-24-2010, 08:30 PM
But lo, what fellow goes yonder?
It gives me a headache to ponder
Could it be a ghost?
Or the heavenly host?

oneblindmouse
03-24-2010, 09:43 PM
But lo, what fellow goes yonder?
It gives me a headache to ponder
Could it be a ghost?
Or the heavenly host?
Or someone of whom I am fonder?

"It's me!" cried a voice from the dark

Etola
03-24-2010, 09:45 PM
"It's me!" cried a voice from the dark
As I jogged, late one night, in the park

archerjoe
03-24-2010, 09:47 PM
"It's me!" cried a voice from the dark
As I jogged, late one night, in the park
I can't find my clothes

oneblindmouse
03-24-2010, 09:48 PM
"It's me!" cried a voice from the dark
As I jogged, late one night, in the park
I can't find my clothes
And nobody knows

archerjoe
03-24-2010, 09:57 PM
"It's me!" cried a voice from the dark
As I jogged, late one night, in the park
I can't find my clothes
And nobody knows
How I got this strange alien mark

The police are looking for me

CDSinex
03-24-2010, 10:02 PM
The police are looking for me
But, I swear I thought it was tea.

oneblindmouse
03-24-2010, 11:19 PM
The police are looking for me
But, I swear I thought it was tea.
The fingerprints showed

talkwrite
03-25-2010, 12:37 AM
The police are looking for me
But, I swear I thought it was tea.
The fingerprints showed
My name was not Flo

oneblindmouse
03-25-2010, 02:02 AM
The police are looking for me
But, I swear I thought it was tea.
The fingerprints showed
My name was not Flo
But the cops just will not let me be.

In a castle on top of a hill

CDSinex
03-25-2010, 03:27 AM
In a castle on top of a hill
At meals they serve nothing but swill.

CatSlave
03-25-2010, 04:30 AM
In a castle on top of a hill
At meals they serve nothing but swill.
The servants are thin

archerjoe
03-25-2010, 05:37 AM
In a castle on top of a hill
At meals they serve nothing but swill.
The servants are thin
And thrive mainly on gin

Sir_Nigel
03-25-2010, 12:46 PM
In a castle on top of a hill
At meals they serve nothing but swill.
The servants are thin
And thrive mainly on gin
and the job satisfaction is nil


There was a young girl from Nantucket (an old classic)

archerjoe
03-25-2010, 03:27 PM
There was a young girl from Nantucket
Who carried her cat in a bucket

Nymtoc
03-25-2010, 03:52 PM
There was a young girl from Nantucket
Who carried her cat in a bucket.
She took it to school

CDSinex
03-25-2010, 04:20 PM
There was a young girl from Nantucket
Who carried her cat in a bucket.
She took it to school
Which wasn't too cool.

The Tin Dog
03-25-2010, 05:39 PM
There was a young girl from Nantucket
Who carried her cat in a bucket.
She took it to school
Which wasn't too cool.
When the head teacher tried to cook it !

There was an old dog from South Wales

CDSinex
03-25-2010, 05:45 PM
There was an old dog from South Wales
That loved to eat garlic and snails.

Lavern08
03-25-2010, 07:57 PM
There was an old dog from South Wales
That loved to eat garlic and snails.
His breath was atrocious

CatSlave
03-25-2010, 08:27 PM
There was an old dog from South Wales
That loved to eat garlic and snails.
His breath was atrocious
Behavior ferocious

Etola
03-25-2010, 10:03 PM
There was an old dog from South Wales
That loved to eat garlic and snails.
His breath was atrocious
Behavior ferocious
And a face that could rust iron nails


There once was a girl with a dream

oneblindmouse
03-25-2010, 11:55 PM
There once was a girl with a dream
But a face that made everyone scream

Paul
03-26-2010, 12:01 AM
There once was a girl with a dream
But a face that made everyone scream
But she plucked up her courage

Paul
03-26-2010, 12:04 AM
[QUOTE=Sir_Nigel;


There was a young girl from Nantucket (an old classic)[/QUOTE]

that's not fair! I've avoided Nantucket since i stared this game!!!

:(

Closest i came was bucket...;)

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 12:08 AM
There once was a girl with a dream
But a face that made everyone scream
But she plucked up her courage
and swallowed some burrage

Paul
03-26-2010, 12:15 AM
There once was a girl with a dream
But a face that made everyone scream
But she plucked up her courage
and swallowed some burrage

em, you mean borage, perhaps?

CDSinex
03-26-2010, 12:17 AM
There once was a girl with a dream
But a face that made everyone scream
But she plucked up her courage
and swallowed some burrage burrage?
And wore a gallon-and-a-half of face cream.


There once was a boy with a bike.

Paul
03-26-2010, 12:35 AM
There once was a boy with a bike.
a handsome, well meaning tyke
__________________

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 12:55 AM
There once was a boy with a bike.
a handsome, well meaning tyke
His first name was Paul

talkwrite
03-26-2010, 01:00 AM
There once was a boy with a bike.
a handsome, well meaning tyke
His first name was Paul
And man, could he haul...

Paul
03-26-2010, 01:06 AM
There once was a boy with a bike.
a handsome, well meaning tyke
His first name was Paul
And man, could he haul...
As much witticism as a body could like

There once was a smart ass called 'mouse'...

talkwrite
03-26-2010, 01:12 AM
There once was a smart ass called 'mouse'
Who sought a sweet and patient spouse

CDSinex
03-26-2010, 01:16 AM
There once was a smart ass called 'mouse'
Who sought a sweet and patient spouse
He looked on Crag's List.

Paul
03-26-2010, 01:20 AM
There once was a smart ass called 'mouse'
Who sought a sweet and patient spouse
He looked on Craig's List.
But then bawled up his fist

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 02:01 AM
There once was a smart ass called 'mouse'
Who sought a sweet and patient spouse
He looked on Craig's List.
But then bawled up his fist
On finding no Gregory House

A joker who loved playing cards

Paul
03-26-2010, 02:04 AM
A joker who loved playing cards
But wished he wrote like the bards

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 02:09 AM
A joker who loved playing cards
But wished he wrote like the bards
Got his posts in a tangle

Paul
03-26-2010, 02:14 AM
A joker who loved playing cards
But wished he wrote like the bards
Got his posts in a tangle
But from which he did wrangle

Paul
03-26-2010, 02:18 AM
CD, ha ha, you've been pretty unlucky of late, but what the hey

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 02:18 AM
A joker who loved playing cards
But wished he wrote like the bards
Got his posts in a tangle
But from which he did wrangle
Some rhymes from amidst all the shards

A poster who was frequently slow

Paul
03-26-2010, 02:21 AM
nice one mouse (ie the shards line )

A poster who was frequently slow
did protest 'its not that i dont know'

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 02:22 AM
A poster who was frequently slow
did protest 'its not that i dont know'
but my brain is so tiny

Paul
03-26-2010, 02:25 AM
A poster who was frequently slow
did protest 'its not that i dont know'
but my brain is so tiny
thank God for my hiney

oneblindmouse
03-26-2010, 02:46 AM
A poster who was frequently slow
did protest 'its not that i dont know'
but my brain is so tiny
thank God for my hiney
which just does nothing but grow.

A pig with a wart on its ear

CDSinex
03-26-2010, 06:50 AM
A pig with a wart on its ear
Had ten more all over his rear.

Matera the Mad
03-26-2010, 07:32 AM
A pig with a wart on its ear
Had ten more all over his rear
He tried wearing shorts

Nymtoc
03-26-2010, 07:45 AM
A pig with a wart on its ear
Had ten more all over his rear
He tried wearing shorts
But was greeted with snorts

CatSlave
03-26-2010, 08:19 AM
A pig with a wart on its ear
Had ten more all over his rear
He tried wearing shorts
But was greeted with snorts
Indicating there's no silk purse here.

A chocolate truffle divine

Paul
03-26-2010, 08:43 AM
A chocolate truffle divine
when eaten, is always sublime

CatSlave
03-26-2010, 09:15 AM
A chocolate truffle divine
when eaten, is always sublime
The taste lingers still

Paul
03-26-2010, 09:17 AM
A chocolate truffle divine
when eaten, is always sublime
The taste lingers still
sending a quivering chill

Matera the Mad
03-26-2010, 09:59 AM
A chocolate truffle divine
when eaten, is always sublime
The taste lingers still
sending a quivering chill
Like a heavenly bolt down my spine

Oh Chocolate, food of the gods

Paul
03-26-2010, 10:01 AM
Oh Chocolate, food of the gods
loved by newbies to supermods

Sir_Nigel
03-26-2010, 03:15 PM
Oh Chocolate, food of the gods
loved by newbies to supermods
Beloved by the Aztecs

archerjoe
03-26-2010, 03:30 PM
Oh Chocolate, food of the gods
loved by newbies to supermods
Beloved by the Aztecs
For some better than sex

Sir_Nigel
03-26-2010, 03:54 PM
Oh Chocolate, food of the gods
loved by newbies to supermods
Beloved by the Aztecs
For some better than sex
(but these tend to be fat friendless odd bods)


The natives seem restless today

flyingtart
03-26-2010, 04:13 PM
The natives seem restless today
They're eyeing me in a strange way

Nymtoc
03-26-2010, 04:26 PM
The natives seem restless today
They're eyeing me in a strange way
What's worse, their head cook

archerjoe
03-26-2010, 05:34 PM
The natives seem restless today
They're eyeing me in a strange way
What's worse, their head cook
Has this lip-smackin' look

Sir_Nigel
03-26-2010, 06:06 PM
The natives seem restless today
They're eyeing me in a strange way
What's worse, their head cook
Has this lip-smackin' look
I think I’ll just sidle away


‘Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed

archerjoe
03-26-2010, 06:13 PM
‘Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed
'That rug looks like it's been maimed!"

flyingtart
03-26-2010, 06:29 PM
Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed
'That rug looks like it's been maimed!"
'Oh dear," he replied

Sir_Nigel
03-26-2010, 06:39 PM
Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed
'That rug looks like it's been maimed!"
'Oh dear," he replied
‘Mmmm’ she sighed

archerjoe
03-26-2010, 06:39 PM
Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed
'That rug looks like it's been maimed!"
'Oh dear," he replied
'Twas the cat', he lied.

archerjoe
03-26-2010, 06:44 PM
Rats, too slow!

Continuing with Sir Nigel's:

Young master!’ The housemaid exclaimed
'That rug looks like it's been maimed!"
'Oh dear," he replied
‘Mmmm’ she sighed
'That cat!' he said, 'I've been framed!'

Young master hemmed and he hawed.

Lavern08
03-26-2010, 08:32 PM
Young master hemmed and he hawed.
The ice queen he froze had just thawed

CDSinex
03-26-2010, 08:42 PM
Young master hemmed and he hawed.
The ice queen he froze had just thawed
She said, "If you feared revenge ..."

Paul
03-27-2010, 12:56 AM
Young master hemmed and he hawed.
The ice queen he froze had just thawed
She said, "If you feared revenge ..."
let me add this appendage (Come on - its revenge for chrissakes...)
__________________

flyingtart
03-27-2010, 01:12 AM
Young master hemmed and he hawed.
The ice queen he froze had just thawed
She said, "If you feared revenge ...
let me add this appendage
What you have done should be outlawed!"


When Boris went out on a date

CDSinex
03-27-2010, 01:39 AM
When Boris went out on a date
He endeavored to never be late.

writeronfire
03-27-2010, 06:37 AM
When Boris went out on a date
He endeavored to never be late
but when chained to his bed

CDSinex
03-27-2010, 08:09 AM
When Boris went out on a date
He endeavored to never be late
but when chained to his bed
He wished he had said.

RevisionIsTheKey
03-27-2010, 08:39 AM
When Boris went out on a date
He endeavored to never be late
but when chained to his bed
He wished he had said,
"Gee warden, I thought you were straight."

The meter maid left him a note

CDSinex
03-27-2010, 08:48 AM
The meter maid left him a note
Saying this space is reserved for a goat.

Matera the Mad
03-27-2010, 10:35 AM
The meter maid left him a note
Saying this space is reserved for a goat
"Well, my goodness!" said he

Nymtoc
03-27-2010, 10:53 AM
The meter maid left him a note
Saying this space is reserved for a goat
"Well, my goodness!" said he
"I'm a goat myself. See?"

CDSinex
03-27-2010, 12:27 PM
The meter maid left him a note
Saying this space is reserved for a goat
"Well, my goodness!" said he
"I'm a goat myself. See?"
And I'll pay any fine in groats.


A neighbor who lives on the hill,

Kerlee
03-27-2010, 01:26 PM
A neighbor who lives on the hill
was seen with her ass on a grill

flyingtart
03-27-2010, 03:54 PM
A neighbor who lives on the hill
was seen with her ass on a grill
The ass kicked and brayed

archerjoe
03-27-2010, 05:31 PM
A neighbor who lives on the hill
was seen with her ass on a grill
The ass kicked and brayed
And we're all afraid

Nymtoc
03-27-2010, 10:59 PM
A neighbor who lives on the hill
was seen with her ass on a grill
The ass kicked and brayed
And we're all afraid
That it gave her a weird kind of thrill.

"We're letting you go," said the boss

RevisionIsTheKey
03-28-2010, 12:00 AM
"We're letting you go," said the boss
"You spend all day hitting the sauce."

CDSinex
03-28-2010, 12:03 AM
"We're letting you go," said the boss
"You spend all day hitting the sauce."
"I'm sure you'll be fine."

archerjoe
03-28-2010, 12:05 AM
"We're letting you go," said the boss
"You spend all day hitting the sauce."
"I'm sure you'll be fine."
"There's lots of cheap wine."

CDSinex
03-28-2010, 12:10 AM
"We're letting you go," said the boss
"You spend all day hitting the sauce."
"I'm sure you'll be fine."
"There's lots of cheap wine."
And your unemployment should cover the cost.


Bill just hates to stand there in line.

Kerlee
03-28-2010, 12:47 AM
Bill just hates to stand there in line
he's hungry and waiting to dine

CatSlave
03-28-2010, 01:38 AM
Bill just hates to stand there in line
He's hungry and waiting to dine
But the soup kitchen's busy

CDSinex
03-28-2010, 01:45 AM
Bill just hates to stand there in line
He's hungry and waiting to dine
But the soup kitchen's busy
And he was in quite a tizzy.

Paul
03-28-2010, 01:51 AM
Bill just hates to stand there in line
He's hungry and waiting to dine
But the soup kitchen's busy
And he was in quite a tizzy.
So he decided to get drunk off the vine


It's not that I'm not a good lover
__________________

Paul
03-28-2010, 02:39 AM
It's not that I'm not a good lover
It's just that I dont really bovver (London spelling)

writeronfire
03-28-2010, 03:35 AM
It's not that I'm not a good lover
It's just that I dont really bovver (London spelling)
I don't shave my pits

Paul
03-28-2010, 04:17 AM
It's not that I'm not a good lover
It's just that I dont really bovver (London spelling)
I don't shave my pits
I won't blitz my zits

writeronfire
03-28-2010, 04:32 AM
It's not that I'm not a good lover
It's just that I dont really bovver (London spelling)
I don't shave my pits
I won't blitz my zits
and my face, well it's best undercover.


I'm really a very strange woman

Kerlee
03-28-2010, 06:05 AM
I'm really a very strange woman
I'm alone but still run a harem

Matera the Mad
03-28-2010, 08:25 AM
I'm really a very strange woman
I'm alone but still run a harem
I delegate tasks

Kerlee
03-28-2010, 08:43 AM
I'm really a very strange woman
I'm alone but still run a harem
I delegate tasks
behind many masks

RevisionIsTheKey
03-28-2010, 08:57 AM
I'm really a very strange woman
I'm alone but still run a harem
I delegate tasks
behind many masks
one of which looks like Harry S. Truman

The monk had not spoken in years

Albedo of Zero
03-28-2010, 09:57 AM
The monk had not spoken in years
a devotion he shared with his peers

CDSinex
03-28-2010, 11:35 AM
The monk had not spoken in years
a devotion he shared with his peers
They would sometimes just nod.

Kerlee
03-28-2010, 01:12 PM
The monk had not spoken in years
a devotion he shared with his peers
They would sometimes just nod.
at the noobs who were shod

Paul
03-28-2010, 02:09 PM
The monk had not spoken in years
a devotion he shared with his peers
They would sometimes just nod.
at the noobs who were shod
Then stood back to have a good leer

Long-tongued Timmy had a talent tremendous

flyingtart
03-28-2010, 03:56 PM
Long-tongued Timmy had a talent tremendous
And his box office sales were stupendous

archerjoe
03-28-2010, 04:24 PM
Long-tongued Timmy had a talent tremendous
And his box office sales were stupendous
His co-stars were pleased

Paul
03-28-2010, 04:34 PM
Long-tongued Timmy had a talent tremendous
And his box office sales were stupendous
His co-stars were pleased
for the women he teased
__________________

Paul
03-28-2010, 09:48 PM
Long-tongued Timmy had a talent tremendous
And his box office sales were stupendous
His co-stars were pleased
for the women he teased
were nothing short of horrendous

(well , i did wait five hours..)

The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal

CDSinex
03-28-2010, 10:01 PM
The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal.
And the tip was hard, like a fossil.

flyingtart
03-28-2010, 10:26 PM
The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal.
And the tip was hard, like a fossil.
The nostrils flared

RevisionIsTheKey
03-29-2010, 08:32 AM
The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal.
And the tip was hard, like a fossil.
The nostrils flared
But he didn't care

(Psst...Paul, before I :gone:...It's 8, 8, 5, 5, 8 for the beats per line in a limerick. You're making this too hard! ;) Now I'm outta here...you didn't see me...this is me :gone:)

(And bear in mind I waited 11 hours...:))

flyingtart
03-29-2010, 01:09 PM
(edited)


Young Timmy's nose was colossal.
And the tip was hard, like a fossil.
The nostrils flared
But he didn't care
For he looked like St John The Apostle


She found that wherever she went

Nymtoc
03-29-2010, 01:12 PM
She found that wherever she went
She stepped into fresh-poured cement

Sir_Nigel
03-29-2010, 01:20 PM
She found that wherever she went
She stepped into fresh-poured cement
She soon ‘went’ no more

Paul
03-29-2010, 02:58 PM
She found that wherever she went
She stepped into fresh-poured cement
She soon ‘went’ no more
Being wedged to the floor

Paul
03-29-2010, 03:03 PM
(Psst...Paul, before I :gone:...It's 8, 8, 5, 5, 8 for the beats per line in a limerick. You're making this too hard! ;) Now I'm outta here...you didn't see me...this is me :gone:)




I cant help it if I'm smarter than the average...

Yes, I changed that twice, still couldn't get it right! I go with the Nantucket one in my mind, but not always successfully. Not sure what 8,8 etc means but i know the rhythm follows the Nantucket 'principle'. Still, there is a little room for variety - if i do manage to get the beat right.

flyingtart
03-29-2010, 03:38 PM
She found that wherever she went
She stepped into fresh-poured cement
She soon ‘went’ no more
Being wedged to the floor
And her shoes got all icky and bent.


The comic was clever and witty

Paul
03-29-2010, 03:52 PM
The comic was clever and witty
his pacing though, a little shitty

archerjoe
03-29-2010, 04:29 PM
The comic was clever and witty
his pacing though, a little shitty
When he told the punch line

Paul
03-29-2010, 10:13 PM
The comic was clever and witty
his pacing though, a little shitty
When he told the punch line
his fans did incline
__________________

CDSinex
03-29-2010, 10:40 PM
The comic was clever and witty
his pacing though, a little shitty
When he told the punch line
his fans did incline
To show him a great deal of pity.


I really need something to do.

RevisionIsTheKey
03-29-2010, 11:52 PM
I really need something to do
I'm just going to hang around you

archerjoe
03-30-2010, 12:01 AM
I really need something to do
I'm just going to hang around you
Never mind my hygiene

Kerlee
03-30-2010, 01:50 AM
I really need something to do
I'm just going to hang around you
Never mind my hygiene
I like gross and unclean

RevisionIsTheKey
03-30-2010, 02:09 AM
I really need something to do
I'm just going to hang around you
Never mind my hygiene
I like gross and unclean
And I'm hoping *wink* you do too. ;)

The state patrol stopped me today

rhymegirl
03-30-2010, 02:25 AM
The state patrol stopped me today
I was texting--my crime, I must say

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 02:39 AM
The state patrol stopped me today
I was texting--my crime, I must say
Is a dangerous trend

Nymtoc
03-30-2010, 02:45 AM
The state patrol stopped me today
I was texting--my crime, I must say
Is a dangerous trend
That can lead to The End

Paul
03-30-2010, 03:08 AM
The state patrol stopped me today
I was texting--my crime, I must say
Is a dangerous trend
That can lead to The End
I really must stop living this way


Young Tommy made an eight beat poem

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 03:20 AM
Young Tommy made an eight beat poem
Counted to nine on his way home-um.



Are beats the same as syllables in Limericks?

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 03:31 AM
Limericks - The form
Limericks consist of five anapaestic lines.

Lines 1, 2, and 5 of Limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another.
Lines 3 and 4 of Limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

Click here for rules (http://www.poetry-online.org/limericks.htm)

Paul
03-30-2010, 03:41 AM
Limericks - The form
Limericks consist of five anapaestic lines.

Lines 1, 2, and 5 of Limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another.
Lines 3 and 4 of Limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

Click here for rules (http://www.poetry-online.org/limericks.htm)

Er, does the first line have 8? I thought it does?

oh, right read that, got you. so the disputed line below has eleven and so doesn't count?
The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal.

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 03:51 AM
Young Tommy made an eight beat poem ... Not.

Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats

Eight is usual, but you can use seven to ten according to the rules.
If the first line is seven, then the second and fifth line have to be seven also.

Paul
03-30-2010, 03:55 AM
Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats
Then he started to dance to the beats

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 03:56 AM
Er, does the first line have 8? I thought it does?

oh, right read that, got you. so the disputed line below has eleven and so doesn't count?
The size of young Timmy's nose was colossal.

If beats are syllables then your first line is nine, because poem is two syllables.

Paul
03-30-2010, 03:57 AM
Young Tommy made an eight beat poem ... Not.

Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats

Eight is usual, but you can use seven to ten according to the rules.
If the first line is seven, then the second and fifth line have to be seven also.

Merci (also, mercy, ;))

Yeah, wasn't fully happy with the previous.

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 03:59 AM
Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats
Then he started to dance in the streets
He banged on his drum

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 04:01 AM
Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats
Then he started to dance in the streets
He banged on his drum
And started to hum.

Paul
03-30-2010, 04:04 AM
Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats
Then he started to dance in the streets
He banged on his drum
And started to hum.
Then started to hand out some sweets

Young Mattie was slow on the draw

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 04:22 AM
Young Mattie was slow on the draw
A trait she picked up from her pa.

rhymegirl
03-30-2010, 04:31 AM
Young Mattie was slow on the draw
A trait she picked up from her pa,
She flunked out of school

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 05:07 AM
Young Mattie was slow on the draw
A trait she picked up from her pa,
She flunked out of school
Which was not very cool





same word:
Young Tom made a rhyme of eight beats
Then he started to dance to the beats

rhymegirl
03-30-2010, 05:24 AM
Young Mattie was slow on the draw
A trait she picked up from her pa,
She flunked out of school
Which was not very cool
But then neither was breaking the law.

Soon young Mattie was turning to crime

archerjoe
03-30-2010, 06:25 AM
Soon young Mattie was turning to crime
Not remotely afraid to do time

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 06:41 AM
Soon young Mattie was turning to crime
Not remotely afraid to do time
Since her watch ran so fast.

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 07:19 AM
Soon young Mattie was turning to crime
Not remotely afraid to do time
Since her watch ran so fast
Time in jail would fly past

RevisionIsTheKey
03-30-2010, 08:12 AM
Soon young Mattie was turning to crime
Not remotely afraid to do time
Since her watch ran so fast
Time in jail would fly past
Unaware of the blatant sophime.

(I'm giving myself permission to use an obsolete word, and pronouncing it as I wish :)
because the meaning of "a clever deception" was too good to pass up. Could not find the pronunciation, by the way.)

I knew I was headed for trouble

Albedo of Zero
03-30-2010, 08:17 AM
I knew I was headed for trouble
after winning that last daily double

CatSlave
03-30-2010, 09:08 AM
I knew I was headed for trouble
After winning that last daily double
The cash in my hand

CDSinex
03-30-2010, 11:36 AM
I knew I was headed for trouble
After winning that last daily double
The cash in my hand
Just north of two-grand

Sir_Nigel
03-30-2010, 12:18 PM
I knew I was headed for trouble
After winning that last daily double
The cash in my hand
Just north of two-grand.
- I’d just swindled Vinny the Bubble *

*(rhyming slang – Bubble and Squeak** – Greek)

** a dish comprising warmed up leftover potatoes and cabbage***)

***cabbage - a popular cultivar of the species Brassica oleracea Linne (Capitata Group) of the Family Brassicaceae (or Cruciferae****),


**** oh sod off


He fell down the apples and pairs

flyingtart
03-30-2010, 12:29 PM
He fell down the apples and pairs
And landed between two brown bears

Paul
03-30-2010, 01:16 PM
e fell down the apples and pairs
And landed between two brown bears
He called to the strife

(for those who don't know rhyming slang too well check out the link)
http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/

Sir_Nigel
03-30-2010, 02:09 PM
'e fell down the apples and pairs
And landed between two brown bears
He called to the strife
(dear reader that’s 'wife') - no idea what brown bears is

Nymtoc
03-30-2010, 02:29 PM
'e fell down the apples and pairs
And landed between two brown bears
He called to the strife
(dear reader that’s 'wife') - no idea what brown bears is
Who tore out his sparse fanny blairs.

'e scratched 'is poor old loaf of bread

flyingtart
03-30-2010, 03:47 PM
e scratched 'is poor old loaf of bread
An' turned to 'is china and said:

Sir_Nigel
03-30-2010, 04:43 PM
‘e scratched 'is poor old loaf of bread
An' turned to 'is china and said:
‘I sound a bit loike…’

Paul
03-30-2010, 04:55 PM
‘e scratched 'is poor old loaf of bread
An' turned to 'is china and said:
‘I sound a bit loike…’
I've come from a dyke

Kerlee
03-31-2010, 01:16 AM
‘e scratched 'is poor old loaf of bread
An' turned to 'is china and said:
‘I sound a bit loike…’
I've come from a dyke
with an ol' nag that's better off dead



I once saw green eggs as divine ;-D

CDSinex
03-31-2010, 05:39 AM
I once saw green eggs as divine
And would eat them three at a time.

archerjoe
03-31-2010, 05:55 AM
I once saw green eggs as divine
And would eat them three at a time.
As far as the ham goes

CDSinex
03-31-2010, 08:09 AM
I once saw green eggs as divine
And would eat them three at a time.
As far as the ham goes
I would turn up my nose

RevisionIsTheKey
03-31-2010, 09:53 AM
I once saw green eggs as divine
And would eat them three at a time.
As far as the ham goes
I would turn up my nose
'Cause before it was ham, it was swine.

I just ate a marshmallow peep

Sir_Nigel
03-31-2010, 12:06 PM
I just ate a marshmallow peep
in the shape of a Welsh Mountain Sheep

Nymtoc
03-31-2010, 01:59 PM
I just ate a marshmallow peep
in the shape of a Welsh Mountain Sheep
It tasted so queer

archerjoe
03-31-2010, 02:27 PM
I just ate a marshmallow peep
in the shape of a Welsh Mountain Sheep
It tasted so queer
Washed down with flat beer

Paul
03-31-2010, 02:28 PM
ha ha, great minds...

Sir_Nigel
03-31-2010, 02:45 PM
I just ate a marshmallow peep
in the shape of a Welsh Mountain Sheep
It tasted so queer
Washed down with flat beer
But beer and sheep help me sleep ha ha


‘Dammit’ cursed old man Dupree

flyingtart
03-31-2010, 03:57 PM
‘Dammit’ cursed old man Dupree
As he pulled over needing a pee

archerjoe
03-31-2010, 04:34 PM
‘Dammit’ cursed old man Dupree
As he pulled over needing a pee
After only one beer

flyingtart
03-31-2010, 04:53 PM
‘Dammit’ cursed old man Dupree
As he pulled over needing a pee
After only one beer
His prostate, I fear

flyingtart
03-31-2010, 10:36 PM
‘Dammit’ cursed old man Dupree
As he pulled over needing a pee
After only one beer
His prostate, I fear
Was giving him pure agony.


Maria was learning to ski

archerjoe
03-31-2010, 10:59 PM
Maria was learning to ski
It took a great toll on her knee

CDSinex
04-01-2010, 12:02 AM
Maria was learning to ski
It took a great toll on her knee
Her boots were too loose.

Autodidact
04-01-2010, 12:28 AM
Maria was learning to ski
It took a great toll on her knee
Her boots were too loose,
and her caboose

archerjoe
04-01-2010, 03:58 AM
Maria was learning to ski
It took a great toll on her knee
Her boots were too loose,
and her caboose
Landed not so gently on me

Tomorrow is April Fools day

CDSinex
04-01-2010, 04:04 AM
Tomorrow is April Fools' Day
And there's not much else I can say.

CatSlave
04-01-2010, 04:33 AM
Tomorrow is April Fools' Day
And there's not much else I can say.
Beware of the tricks

CDSinex
04-01-2010, 11:14 AM
Tomorrow is April Fools' Day
And there's not much else I can say.
Beware of the tricks
The stones and the bricks.

Matera the Mad
04-01-2010, 11:14 AM
Tomorrow is April Fools' Day
And there's not much else I can say.
Beware of the tricks
The stones and the bricks
For Absolute Mods have a way....

When your avatar turns into cornflakes

flyingtart
04-01-2010, 03:20 PM
When your avatar turns into cornflakes
It's so annoying for Heaven's Sakes!

talkwrite
04-01-2010, 07:47 PM
When your avatar turns into cornflakes
It's so annoying for Heaven's Sakes!
You spent all that time

Matera the Mad
04-02-2010, 06:03 AM
When your avatar turns into cornflakes
It's so annoying for Heaven's Sakes!
You spent all that time
Just to make your sig rhyme

CDSinex
04-02-2010, 06:16 AM
When your avatar turns into cornflakes
It's so annoying for Heaven's Sakes!
You spent all that time
Just to make your sig rhyme
Because you made so many mistakes.


Once when I was going to school.

RevisionIsTheKey
04-02-2010, 10:16 AM
Once when I was going to school
A friend challenged me to a duel

flyingtart
04-02-2010, 02:39 PM
Once when I was going to school
A friend challenged me to a duel
We took twenty paces

RevisionIsTheKey
04-02-2010, 02:43 PM
Once when I was going to school
A friend challenged me to a duel
We took twenty paces
Untied our shoelaces

Nymtoc
04-02-2010, 04:10 PM
Once when I was going to school
A friend challenged me to a duel
We took twenty paces
Untied our shoelaces
And dueled with our pens. It was cool.

Last night the old clock struck thirteen

flyingtart
04-02-2010, 04:50 PM
Last night the old clock struck thirteen
I don't know where the mainspring has been

CDSinex
04-03-2010, 12:52 AM
Last night the old clock struck thirteen
I don't know where the mainspring has been
It fell on the floor

RevisionIsTheKey
04-03-2010, 01:18 AM
Last night the old clock struck thirteen
I don't know where the mainspring has been
It fell on the floor
After striking one more

CDSinex
04-03-2010, 05:15 AM
Last night the old clock struck thirteen
I don't know where the mainspring has been
It fell on the floor
After striking one more
'twas the last time it e'er was seen.


Oh, I wish I didn't stay up so late.

Matera the Mad
04-03-2010, 06:38 AM
Oh, I wish I didn't stay up so late
To go to bed at dawn is my fate

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 07:12 AM
slightly revised:

Oh, I wish I did not stay up late
To bed down at dawn is my fate
The clock rings too soon

Autodidact
04-03-2010, 07:27 AM
Oh, I wish I did not stay up late
To bed down at dawn is my fate
The clock rings too soon
at 9 after noon,

Albedo of Zero
04-03-2010, 07:28 AM
I'd like to gripe about these revisions.......GRIPE!

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 07:51 AM
I'd like to gripe about these revisions.......GRIPE!
Then work with the originals. :)

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 07:59 AM
Oh, I wish I did not stay up late
To bed down at dawn is my fate
The clock rings too soon
at 9 after noon,
Awakening me, which I hate.


I drag myself out of the bed

RevisionIsTheKey
04-03-2010, 08:20 AM
I drag myself out of the bed
And cursing the throb in my head

Nymtoc
04-03-2010, 08:23 AM
I drag myself out of the bed
And cursing the throb in my head
I aim for the loo

CatSlave
04-03-2010, 08:45 AM
I drag myself out of the bed
And cursing the throb in my head
I aim for the loo
But it lands in my shoe