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Albedo of Zero
02-13-2010, 09:42 AM
My prose graces many a wall
From Fresno to stately Broomall
I don't mean to suggest
I'm the brightest and best
But it got my number out after all



Interrupting is such a rude thing,

brad_b
02-13-2010, 11:22 AM
Interrupting is such a rude thing,
whether to pauper, or poet, or king

Pthom
02-13-2010, 12:33 PM
Interrupting is such a rude thing,
whether to pauper, or poet, or king
Put a sock in your mouth

flyingtart
02-13-2010, 03:29 PM
Interrupting is such a rude thing,
whether to pauper, or poet, or king
Put a sock in your mouth
And don't be uncouth

Pthom
02-14-2010, 01:58 AM
Interrupting is such a rude thing,
whether to pauper, or poet, or king
Put a sock in your mouth
And don't be uncouth

Hey, who put syrup in the laundry?





[Sorry for interrupting. Now back to your regularly scheduled limerick]

CDSinex
02-14-2010, 04:35 AM
Interrupting is such a rude thing,
whether to pauper, or poet, or king
Put a sock in your mouth
And don't be uncouth
Is that true even when your ailing?

(We'll use Pthom's line with some editing)

Hey, who put cough syrup in the laundry?

Meaney
02-14-2010, 05:45 PM
(We'll use Pthom's line with some editing)

Hey, who put cough syrup in the laundry?

Great idea... but that line is not anapestic (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1963576&postcount=5444). Allow me to correct the meter:

The laundry had cough syrup in it

flyingtart
02-14-2010, 06:26 PM
The laundry had cough syrup in it
So the laundry maid said "Wait a minute -

archerjoe
02-15-2010, 01:05 AM
The laundry had cough syrup in it
So the laundry maid said "Wait a minute -
It tastes like it's maple

CDSinex
02-15-2010, 01:33 AM
I stand corrected. The link to anapestic is ironic.


The laundry had cough syrup in it
So the laundry maid said "Wait a minute -
It tastes like it's maple
Around here quite a staple

Pthom
02-15-2010, 01:58 AM
The laundry had cough syrup in it
So the laundry maid said "Wait a minute -
It tastes like it's maple
Around here quite a staple
It's so much more tasty than rennet.

The anapest warn't yet a pome...

CDSinex
02-15-2010, 07:09 AM
The anapest warn't yet a pome...
At least so said my garden gnome.

Matera the Mad
02-15-2010, 09:10 AM
The anapest warn't yet a pome...
At least so said the hollow garden gnome.
I reckon I'll tweak it

Albedo of Zero
02-15-2010, 10:28 AM
The anapest warn't yet a pome...
At least so said the hollow garden gnome.
I reckon I'll tweak it
or meany might emit

Pthom
02-15-2010, 11:32 AM
The anapest warn't yet a pome...
At least so said my garden gnome.
I reckon I'll tweak it
Or meany might emit
A little too much shaving foam!

I shore do like playin' this game!

CatSlave
02-15-2010, 11:44 AM
I shore do like playin' this game!
Though some of the rhymes are quite lame.

RevisionIsTheKey
02-15-2010, 11:50 AM
I shore do like playin' this game!
Though some of the rhymes are quite lame.
I'm now sleep-deprived

CatSlave
02-15-2010, 11:56 AM
I shore do like playin' this game!
Though some of the rhymes are quite lame.
I'm now sleep-deprived
My words are contrived

Albedo of Zero
02-15-2010, 12:19 PM
I shore do like playin' this game!
Though some of the rhymes are quite lame.
I'm now sleep-deprived
My words are contrived
and my meter really sucks the anapestic, for shame.



With all the tom-foolery finished

Meaney
02-15-2010, 12:37 PM
and my meter really sucks the anapestic, for shame.

Bonus points for irony! :)


With all the tom-foolery finished
the good mood of the room had diminished

Sir_Nigel
02-15-2010, 12:46 PM
With all the tom-foolery finished
the good mood of the room had diminished
Disgruntlement grew

flyingtart
02-15-2010, 01:17 PM
With all the tom-foolery finished
the good mood of the room had diminished
Disgruntlement grew
Till one day it blew

Sir_Nigel
02-15-2010, 02:32 PM
With all the tom-foolery finished
the good mood of the room had diminished
Disgruntlement grew
Till one day it blew
‘cos Popeye was utterly spinached


His girl was the fair Olive Oyl

archerjoe
02-15-2010, 04:58 PM
His girl was the fair Olive Oyl
And Bluto a terrible foil

flyingtart
02-15-2010, 05:48 PM
His girl was the fair Olive Oyl
And Bluto a terrible foil
His adventures at sea

brad_b
02-15-2010, 06:49 PM
His girl was the fair Olive Oyl
And Bluto a terrible foil
His adventures at sea
Were accomplished with glee

iLion
02-15-2010, 09:50 PM
His girl was the fair Olive Oyl
And Bluto a terrible foil
His adventures at sea
Were accomplished with glee
But he misses spoiling his goil.


She wanted to play with her friend

CDSinex
02-15-2010, 11:21 PM
She wanted to play with her friend
Which she loved to do without end.

iLion
02-15-2010, 11:33 PM
She wanted to play with her friend
Which she loved to do without end.
She teased and she pleased

archerjoe
02-16-2010, 04:37 AM
She wanted to play with her friend
Which she loved to do without end.
She teased and she pleased
She rubbed and she squeezed

RevisionIsTheKey
02-16-2010, 07:34 AM
She wanted to play with her friend
Which she loved to do without end.
She teased and she pleased
She rubbed and she squeezed
Thank goodness her friend's just pretend.

The IRS sent me a note

CatSlave
02-16-2010, 07:59 AM
The IRS sent me a note
Demanding my cash, and I quote:

Nightfly
02-16-2010, 09:11 AM
The IRS sent me a note
Demanding my cash, and I quote:
"Don't screw with us pal!

Matera the Mad
02-16-2010, 11:08 AM
The IRS sent me a note
Demanding my cash, and I quote:
"Don't screw with us pal!
We'll unplug you like Hal

CatSlave
02-16-2010, 11:19 AM
The IRS sent me a note
Demanding my cash, and I quote:
"Don't screw with us pal!
We'll unplug you like Hal
Then take all your money and gloat!"

A shy lad who never was kissed

Matera the Mad
02-16-2010, 11:21 AM
A shy lad who never was kissed
Hoped to find out what he had missed

CatSlave
02-16-2010, 11:24 AM
A shy lad who never was kissed
Hoped to find out what he had missed
The girl of his dreams

Matera the Mad
02-16-2010, 11:25 AM
A shy lad who never was kissed
Hoped to find out what he had missed
The girl of his dreams
Got wise to his schemes

CatSlave
02-16-2010, 11:28 AM
A shy lad who never was kissed
Hoped to find out what he had missed
The girl of his dreams
Got wise to his schemes
He ended up kissing her fist.

A monster lives under my bed

Sir_Nigel
02-16-2010, 01:47 PM
A monster lives under my bed
- a multi-fanged Scroogle named Fred

flyingtart
02-16-2010, 05:44 PM
A monster lives under my bed
- a multi-fanged Scroogle named Fred
His twenty inch claws

Meaney
02-16-2010, 05:55 PM
A monster lives under my bed—
a multi-fanged Scroogle named Fred.
His twenty inch claws
and unwelcome applause

NickDangr
02-16-2010, 07:07 PM
A monster lives under my bed—
a multi-fanged Scroogle named Fred.
His twenty inch claws
and unwelcome applause
Are enough to give pause to the dead.


A harried young miss from New Foundland....

CDSinex
02-17-2010, 01:46 AM
A harried young miss from Newfoundland
Had a big black piano which she played grand

CatSlave
02-17-2010, 03:54 AM
A harried young miss from Newfoundland
Had a big black piano which she played grand
Arpeggios lightly

iLion
02-17-2010, 07:08 AM
A harried young miss from Newfoundland
Had a big black piano which she played grand
Arpeggios lightly
Vibrato slightly

CatSlave
02-17-2010, 07:16 AM
A harried young miss from Newfoundland
Had a big black piano which she played grand
Arpeggios lightly
Vibrato slightly
Her playing was much in demand.


My gumbo got burned in the pot

Pthom
02-17-2010, 11:44 AM
My gumbo got burned in the pot
The stove was turned up way too hot

Sir_Nigel
02-17-2010, 05:13 PM
My gumbo got burned in the pot
The stove was turned up way too hot
I scolded the cook

flyingtart
02-17-2010, 06:33 PM
My gumbo got burned in the pot
The stove was turned up way too hot
I scolded the cook
And gave her a look

iLion
02-17-2010, 08:51 PM
My gumbo got burned in the pot
The stove was turned up way too hot
I scolded the cook
And gave her a look
That withered her right on the spot.


Lunch time is just way too short

Lavern08
02-17-2010, 09:22 PM
Lunch time is just way too short
I get lost in the crowded food court

Pthom
02-18-2010, 12:45 AM
Lunch time is just way too short
I get lost in the crowded food court
With a tray and a drink

CatSlave
02-18-2010, 01:48 AM
Lunch time is just way too short
I get lost in the crowded food court
With a tray and a drink
Too noisy to think

CDSinex
02-18-2010, 03:53 AM
Lunch time is just way too short
I get lost in the crowded food court
With a tray and a drink
Too noisy to think
And the cashier's thumb had a gross wart.

I wish I had more time to play

Pthom
02-18-2010, 04:41 AM
I wish I had more time to play
But this wart on my thumb's in the way!

CDSinex
02-18-2010, 05:00 AM
I wish I had more time to play
But this wart on my thumb's in the way!
I could work as a cashier.

CatSlave
02-18-2010, 05:22 AM
I wish I had more time to play
But this wart on my thumb's in the way!
I could work as a cashier
Or eat pretzels, drink beer

Matera the Mad
02-18-2010, 08:20 AM
I wish I had more time to play
But this wart on my thumb's in the way!
I could work as a cashier
Or eat pretzels, drink beer
But this damn wart's determined to stay.

Granny laughed as she ripped a CD

CatSlave
02-18-2010, 11:25 AM
Granny laughed as she ripped a CD
She's really quite dotty, you see

Lavern08
02-18-2010, 06:36 PM
Granny laughed as she ripped a CD
She's really quite dotty, you see
She sang an old tune

NickDangr
02-18-2010, 06:36 PM
Granny laughed as she ripped a CD
She's really quite dotty, you see
She sang an old tune
And pulled songs off her Zune

flyingtart
02-18-2010, 09:06 PM
Granny laughed as she ripped a CD
She's really quite dotty, you see
She sang an old tune
And pulled songs off her Zune
Then danced until quarter to three.


My uncle was famous in Wales

iLion
02-18-2010, 09:20 PM
My uncle was famous in Wales
He knew all the guards at the jails

CDSinex
02-19-2010, 12:17 AM
My uncle was famous in Wales
He knew all the guards at the jails
He knew all of their wives.

iLion
02-19-2010, 01:57 AM
My uncle was famous in Wales
He knew all the guards at the jails
He knew all their wives
And their favorite dives

brad_b
02-19-2010, 03:21 AM
My uncle was famous in Wales
He knew all the guards at the jails
He knew all their wives
And their favorite dives
But then who doesn't know all his tales

There was a little ditty on the net

Paul
02-19-2010, 03:38 AM
There was a little ditty on the net
which caused me to fret

Pthom
02-19-2010, 04:27 AM
There was a little ditty on the net
which caused me to fret
Watch your anapests, people, anapests :D
A ditty there was on the net
So bad it did cause me to fret
My excuses are few

CatSlave
02-19-2010, 04:59 AM
A ditty there was on the net
So bad it did cause me to fret
My excuses are few
But as Mod I can do

archerjoe
02-19-2010, 06:48 AM
A ditty there was on the net
So bad it did cause me to fret
My excuses are few
But as Mod I can do
What it takes to get these right yet

A snow-loving man in Vancouver

Albedo of Zero
02-19-2010, 07:08 AM
A snow-loving man in Vancouver
made his skis from the slats of a louver

CatSlave
02-19-2010, 07:20 AM
A snow-loving man in Vancouver
made his skis from the slats of a louver
He slipped and he slid

Matera the Mad
02-19-2010, 07:52 AM
A snow-loving man in Vancouver
made his skis from the slats of a louver
He slipped and he slid
Like a truck in a skid

CatSlave
02-19-2010, 07:58 AM
A snow-loving man in Vancouver
made his skis from the slats of a louver
He slipped and he slid
Like a truck in a skid
His friends could not match his maneuver.

There was an old lady from York

Matera the Mad
02-19-2010, 07:59 AM
There was an old lady from York
Who ate nothing but beans and salt pork

CatSlave
02-19-2010, 08:08 AM
There was an old lady from York
Who ate nothing but beans and salt pork
Her breath was so vile

Preacher'sWife
02-19-2010, 08:44 AM
There was an old lady from York
Who ate nothing but beans and salt pork
Her breath was so vile
That the stench from her smile

CatSlave
02-19-2010, 08:54 AM
There was an old lady from York
Who ate nothing but beans and salt pork
Her breath was so vile
That the stench from her smile
Would gag you, my dear, with a fork.

Your cell phone is deadly, you know

Matera the Mad
02-19-2010, 10:21 AM
Your cell phone is deadly, you know
It radiates energy so

Preacher'sWife
02-19-2010, 10:26 AM
Your cell phone is deadly, you know
It radiates energy so
Without even knowing,
__________________

archerjoe
02-19-2010, 04:07 PM
Your cell phone is deadly, you know
It radiates energy so
Without even knowing,
Your brain cells are slowing

Preacher'sWife
02-19-2010, 07:51 PM
Your cell phone is deadly, you know
It radiates energy so
Without even knowing,
Your brain cells are slowing
And your eyes are beginning to glow.

When old spinster Sal got a toothache

Pthom
02-20-2010, 01:48 AM
When old spinster Sal got a toothache
She couldn't Uncle Fred's wake.

Preacher'sWife
02-20-2010, 03:12 AM
When old spinster Sal got a toothache
She couldn't attend Uncle Fred's wake. (I think you were missing a word-so I added it!)
So Sal drank some whiskey

CatSlave
02-20-2010, 03:55 AM
When old spinster Sal got a toothache
She couldn't attend Uncle Fred's wake.
So Sal drank some whiskey
It made her so frisky

Pthom
02-20-2010, 06:11 AM
When old spinster Sal got a toothache
She couldn't attend Uncle Fred's wake.
So Sal drank some whiskey
It made her so frisky
She went out and ate a whole plum cake!

Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts

Pthom
02-20-2010, 06:11 AM
When old spinster Sal got a toothache
She couldn't attend Uncle Fred's wake.
So Sal drank some whiskey
It made her so frisky
She went out and ate a whole plum cake!

Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts

archerjoe
02-20-2010, 06:17 AM
Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts
There is something wrong in its guts

Preacher'sWife
02-20-2010, 06:21 AM
Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts
There is something wrong in its guts
So you pop off a key

CatSlave
02-20-2010, 06:25 AM
Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts
There is something wrong in its guts
So you pop off a key
Search for crumbs or spilled tea

archerjoe
02-20-2010, 07:00 AM
Sometime the old keyboard goes nuts
There is something wrong in its guts
So you pop off a key
Search for crumbs or spilled tea
I'll bet this thing's older than Tut's

Sweet Mary posed nude for the artist

Preacher'sWife
02-20-2010, 07:04 AM
Sweet Mary posed nude for the artist
Who, though talented, was not the smartest

CatSlave
02-20-2010, 07:10 AM
Sweet Mary posed nude for the artist
Who, though talented, was not the smartest
He picked up his pen

Preacher'sWife
02-20-2010, 07:14 AM
Sweet Mary posed nude for the artist
Who, though talented, was not the smartest
He picked up his pen
Approached Mary and then

Meaney
02-20-2010, 08:24 AM
Permit me to tighten the meter of the second line...

Sweet Mary posed nude for the artist.
Though talented, he's not the smartest.
He picked up his pen,
approached Mary, and then
redesigned her as avant-gardist!

This leprosy's getting me down

Matera the Mad
02-20-2010, 08:27 AM
This leprosy's getting me down
My nose might fall off when I frown!

archerjoe
02-20-2010, 08:43 AM
This leprosy's getting me down
My nose might fall off when I frown!
Forget exfoliant

Matera the Mad
02-20-2010, 08:46 AM
This leprosy's getting me down
My nose might fall off when I frown!
Forget exfoliant
I must be valiant

(or...
This leprosy's getting me down
My nose might fall off when I frown!
I keep losing clumps
I'm down in the dumps)

CatSlave
02-20-2010, 08:53 AM
This leprosy's getting me down
My nose might fall off when I frown!
I keep losing clumps
I'm down in the dumps
The rest of my skin's turning brown.


A vampire who wanted a bite

brad_b
02-20-2010, 03:31 PM
A vampire who wanted a bite
Gave Zelda, a lass, such a fright

iLion
02-20-2010, 05:39 PM
A vampire who wanted a bite
Gave Zelda, a lass, such a fright.
He bared his long fangs

Meaney
02-20-2010, 06:07 PM
A vampire who wanted a bite
Gave Zelda, a lass, such a fright.
He bares his long fangs
before he harangues

(I secretly changed the verb tense so I could rhyme!)

Paul
02-20-2010, 06:12 PM
A vampire who wanted a bite
Gave Zelda, a lass, such a fright.
He bares his long fangs
before he harangues
Then settles right in for the night

(I secretly changed the verb tense so I could rhyme!)


The was a young lady from Essex

flyingtart
02-20-2010, 06:18 PM
The was a young lady from Essex
Who went on a day trip to Wessex

iLion
02-20-2010, 06:52 PM
The was a young lady from Essex
Who went on a day trip to Wessex
She took extra money

CDSinex
02-21-2010, 01:49 AM
The was a young lady from Essex
Who went on a day trip to Wessex
She took extra money
Then looked for a honey

Paul
02-21-2010, 02:11 AM
The was a young lady from Essex
Who went on a day trip to Wessex
She took extra money
Then looked for a honey
only to end up legless in Sussex....

he he, ah yes the s.e.x. word

Young Tolly Tompson

CatSlave
02-21-2010, 03:25 AM
Young Tolly Tompson

I think you're missing something...

Pthom
02-21-2010, 03:41 AM
Or we could go with a variant of Paul's comment...:D

He, he, ah S. E. X. word

Paul
02-21-2010, 03:46 AM
Em, what about
Young Tolly Thompson
Bought her beau a ronson

Paul
02-21-2010, 03:48 AM
Or we could go with a variant of Paul's comment...:D

He, he, ah S. E. X. word

Em hard to get the rhythm right with that particular word...

Paul
02-21-2010, 04:10 AM
Young Tolly Thompson
Bought her beau a new ronson*
But when she asked for a light



*cigarette lighter

Meaney
02-21-2010, 05:30 AM
Paul, that isn't a limerick. That's a nursery rhyme.

Limericks have eight beats in lines one, two and five, and five beats in lines three and four.

Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum
Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum
Ba-da-da ba-dum
Ba-da-da ba-dum
Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum

There are several references to correct meter in this post (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4622943&postcount=11476). Please make sure you understand the form.

Meaney
02-21-2010, 05:33 AM
He giggled, "the S-E-X word!"

CatSlave
02-21-2010, 06:10 AM
He giggled, "the S-E-X word!"
'Twas naughty, or so he had heard

CDSinex
02-21-2010, 08:30 AM
He giggled, "the S-E-X word!"
'Twas naughty, or so he had heard
He just thought it was funny.

RevisionIsTheKey
02-21-2010, 10:20 AM
He giggled, "the S-E-X word!"
'Twas naughty, or so he had heard
He just thought it was funny
His "date" wanted money

Preacher'sWife
02-21-2010, 10:46 AM
He giggled, "the S-E-X word!"
'Twas naughty, or so he had heard
He just thought it was funny
His "date" wanted money
Then drove off and flipped her the bird.


Be careful when lacing a corset

CatSlave
02-21-2010, 11:18 AM
Be careful when lacing a corset
It hurts if you manage to force it

flyingtart
02-21-2010, 03:56 PM
Be careful when lacing a corset
It hurts if you manage to force it
And over-strong tugs

archerjoe
02-21-2010, 06:40 PM
Be careful when lacing a corset
It hurts if you manage to force it
And over-strong tugs
Or Aunt Mabel's hugs

Meaney
02-21-2010, 08:36 PM
Be careful when lacing a corset
It hurts if you manage to force it
And over-strong tugs
Or Aunt Mabel's hugs
will sling you from London to Dorset.

The pianist in the bar played

Paul
02-21-2010, 08:44 PM
Paul, that isn't a limerick. That's a nursery rhyme.

Limericks have eight beats in lines one, two and five, and five beats in lines three and four.

Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum
Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum
Ba-da-da ba-dum
Ba-da-da ba-dum
Da-dum Ba-da-dum Ba-da-dum

There are several references to correct meter in this post (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4622943&postcount=11476). Please make sure you understand the form.

Thank you, em, meaney, ahem

The pianist in the bar played Mozart (meter)(we'll split the half beat:))

iLion
02-21-2010, 08:56 PM
The pianist in the bar played Mozart
The singer sang a lot off key

Paul
02-21-2010, 09:01 PM
The pianist in the bar played Mozart
The singer sang a lot off key
but along came a drunk

flyingtart
02-21-2010, 09:03 PM
The pianist in the bar played Mozart
The singer sang a lot off key
But along came a drunk
Saying "What about rhymes?"

iLion
02-21-2010, 10:56 PM
The pianist in the bar played Mozart
The singer sang a lot off key
But along came a drunk
Saying "What about rhymes?"
"Ish thish a free form lymric, er what?"

(What the hell was that?!):Shrug:


My dog likes to howl at the moon,

archerjoe
02-21-2010, 11:45 PM
My dog likes to howl at the moon,
Especially on hot nights in June

flyingtart
02-21-2010, 11:51 PM
My dog likes to howl at the moon,
Especially on hot nights in June
Then he rolls on his back

CDSinex
02-22-2010, 12:50 AM
My dog likes to howl at the moon,
Especially on hot nights in June
Then he rolls on his back
So I give him a smack.

Paul
02-22-2010, 12:58 AM
My dog likes to howl at the moon,
Especially on hot nights in June
Then he rolls on his back
So I give him a smack
And now he sings to my tune!
__________________

Every time I take a wander (it's 8 beats, honest)

Albedo of Zero
02-22-2010, 02:03 AM
Every time I take a wander (it's 8 beats, honest)
I usually go yonder (to grab a dozen donuts)

Paul
02-22-2010, 02:21 AM
Every time I take a wander
I do like a good ponder

Lavern08
02-22-2010, 02:39 AM
** Sneaks in **

OK, who keeps messing the Limerick thread up? :rant:

** Sneaks out **

Paul
02-22-2010, 02:47 AM
** Sneaks in **

OK, who keeps messing the Limerick thread up? :rant:

** Sneaks out **


It was meany miss, honest

Lavern08
02-22-2010, 02:53 AM
Every time I take a wander
I do like a good ponder
I stop and I think

CDSinex
02-22-2010, 03:25 AM
Every time I take a wander
I do like a good ponder
I stop and I think
Why do some Limericks stink?

Albedo of Zero
02-22-2010, 04:17 AM
Umm...I just want to go on record saying that syllables aren't necessarily beats.

Preacher'sWife
02-22-2010, 04:26 AM
Every time I take a wander
I do like a good ponder
I stop and I think
Why do some Limericks stink?
'Cuz they're made up by blondes who went blonder!
(I can say that because I was born blonde! :tongue)

Let's get back on track, shall we?

The damsel was in quite a mess,

Preacher'sWife
02-22-2010, 04:35 AM
Umm...I just want to go on record saying that syllables aren't necessarily beats.

Quite right.

In lines one, two, and five, there are three beats of emphasis. Syllabic number could be anywhere from 8 to 10. Lines three and four have two beats of emphasis, and there are normally 5 or 6 syllables. The number of syllables ideally should match in lines one, two, and five, and the same goes for lines three and four. The emphasis should be natural--don't force it on a syllable; ie: you would normally say WAN-der. It doesn't sound natural to say wan-DER. Clear as mud?

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 04:44 AM
What she said:

one, TWO, three, four, FIVE, six, seven, EIGHT

There once was a lady from Kent

Albedo of Zero
02-22-2010, 04:45 AM
The damsel was in quite a mess,
when the dragon bit into her dress

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 04:50 AM
Or another example:

one, two, THREE, four, five, SIX, seven, eight, NINE, ten, eleven, TWELVE

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

ETA: Too long for a limerick, but you can see how the beat works.

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 04:51 AM
The damsel was in quite a mess,
when the dragon bit into her dress
He ripped and he tore

archerjoe
02-22-2010, 06:42 AM
The damsel was in quite a mess,
when the dragon bit into her dress
He ripped and he tore
She cursed and she swore

CDSinex
02-22-2010, 07:32 AM
The damsel was in quite a mess,
when the dragon bit into her dress
He ripped and he tore
She cursed and she swore
Then she yelled at him give it a rest.

My dog always sleeps near the door.

Meaney
02-22-2010, 07:41 AM
The damsel was in quite a mess,
when the dragon bit into her dress
He ripped and he tore
She cursed and she swore:
"That's silk, and it's permanent press!"

D'oh!

My dog always sleeps near the door.
He's given the run of the floor.

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 07:58 AM
My dog always sleeps near the door.
He's given the run of the floor.
The cat strutted past

Matera the Mad
02-22-2010, 08:29 AM
My dog always sleeps near the door.
He's given the run of the floor.
The cat strutted past
And the dog woke, aghast

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 08:54 AM
My dog always sleeps near the door.
He's given the run of the floor.
The cat strutted past
And the dog woke, aghast
Now the cat is strutting no more.

A monkey climbed high up a tree

CDSinex
02-22-2010, 10:23 AM
A monkey climbed high up a tree
Just to see how far he could see

Matera the Mad
02-22-2010, 10:24 AM
A monkey climbed high up a tree
Just to see how far he could see
He had no sunglasses

Meaney
02-22-2010, 01:31 PM
A monkey climbed high up a tree
Just to see how far he could see
He had no sunglasses
was slow as molasses

Nymtoc
02-22-2010, 02:56 PM
A monkey climbed high up a tree
Just to see how far he could see
He had no sunglasses
was slow as molasses
No wonder he couldn't see me.

In a house on the wrong side of town

Sir_Nigel
02-22-2010, 03:34 PM
In a house on the wrong side of town
lived a broken down, drink sodden clown

Meaney
02-22-2010, 05:18 PM
In a house on the wrong side of town
lived a broken down, drink-sodden clown.
His rent in arrears

Sir_Nigel
02-22-2010, 05:41 PM
In a house on the wrong side of town
lived a broken down, drink-sodden clown.
His rent in arrears
he stalked Britney Spears

flyingtart
02-22-2010, 06:44 PM
In a house on the wrong side of town
lived a broken down, drink-sodden clown.
His rent in arrears
he stalked Britney Spears
In a full sequinned silk evening gown


Letitia was fond of blues rock

Sir_Nigel
02-22-2010, 07:18 PM
Letitia was fond of blues rock
‘til a pointy eared Vulcan named Spock

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 07:26 PM
Letitia was fond of blues rock
‘til a pointy eared Vulcan named Spock
Appeared from nowhere

Meaney
02-22-2010, 07:45 PM
Letitia was fond of blues rock
‘til a pointy eared Vulcan named Spock
Appeared from nowhere
with a long questionnaire

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 07:51 PM
Letitia was fond of blues rock
‘til a pointy eared Vulcan named Spock
Appeared from nowhere
with a long questionnaire
And asked her to rock 'round the clock.

My boyfriend of many a year

archerjoe
02-22-2010, 07:56 PM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear

iLion
02-22-2010, 08:40 PM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear
He applied for a job

Lavern08
02-22-2010, 09:23 PM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear
He applied for a job
I was thrilled and I sobbed

iLion
02-22-2010, 09:54 PM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear
He applied for a job
I was thrilled and I sobbed
Till he blew all his money on beer.
---------------------------------

My spouse hid the tv remote

CatSlave
02-22-2010, 10:10 PM
My spouse hid the tv remote
In order to sit back and gloat

Albedo of Zero
02-23-2010, 01:57 AM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear
He applied for a job
as a mug for the mob

CDSinex
02-23-2010, 04:15 AM
My boyfriend of many a year
Decided to get off his rear
He applied for a job
as a mug for the mob
'cause he thought they would fill it with beer.

My neighbor who thinks he's so handy.

archerjoe
02-23-2010, 05:24 AM
My neighbor who thinks he's so handy.
Was fooling around with Miss Mandy

iLion
02-23-2010, 05:33 AM
My neighbor who thinks he's so handy
Was fooling around with Miss Mandy
He screwed in her lights

Preacher'sWife
02-23-2010, 07:01 AM
My neighbor who thinks he's so handy
Was fooling around with Miss Mandy
He screwed in her lights
While wearing her tights

iLion
02-23-2010, 07:06 AM
My neighbor who thinks he's so handy
Was fooling around with Miss Mandy
He screwed in her lights
While wearing her tights
Now Mandy thinks handymans dandy.
------------------------------------

My buddy likes walking his dog

CDSinex
02-23-2010, 07:10 AM
My buddy likes walking his dog
While his neighbor likes walking her hog.

Albedo of Zero
02-23-2010, 07:10 AM
My buddy likes walking his dog
and his cat and his rabbit and his frog

Preacher'sWife
02-23-2010, 08:54 AM
My buddy likes walking his dog
his cat and his rabbit and frog
It conjures some stares

Sir_Nigel
02-23-2010, 12:52 PM
My buddy likes walking his dog
his cat and his rabbit and frog
It conjures some stares
from envious hares

Paul
02-23-2010, 01:59 PM
My buddy likes walking his dog
his cat and his rabbit and frog
It conjures some stares
from envious hares
who proceeded to get drunk on some grog


It isn't that I don't think you're funny

archerjoe
02-23-2010, 04:27 PM
It isn't that I don't think you're funny
And I wish you would stop saying "punny"

flyingtart
02-23-2010, 05:52 PM
It isn't that I don't think you're funny
And I wish you would stop saying "punny"
I find it absurd

archerjoe
02-23-2010, 06:29 PM
It isn't that I don't think you're funny
And I wish you would stop saying "punny"
I find it absurd
And fit for a nerd

Pthom
02-24-2010, 02:37 AM
It isn't that I don't think you're funny
And I wish you would stop saying "punny"
I find it absurd
And fit for a nerd
That your clothes all look fit for a bunny.

To go around beating one's drum

CDSinex
02-24-2010, 03:44 AM
To go around beating one's drum.
Is a suitable enterprise for some.

archerjoe
02-24-2010, 06:16 AM
To go around beating one's drum.
Is a suitable enterprise for some.
Be it tomtom or snare

CDSinex
02-24-2010, 06:19 AM
To go around beating one's drum.
Is a suitable enterprise for some.
Be it tom-tom or snare
Electronic or air

Paul
02-24-2010, 09:00 AM
To go around beating one's drum.
Is a suitable enterprise for some.
Be it tom-tom or snare
Electronic or air
as long as the rhythm is fun


A damsel in digress once countered
or
The damsel in the dress did counter

CDSinex
02-24-2010, 09:09 AM
A damsel in digress? Distress?

Meaney
02-24-2010, 11:38 AM
I rather like "a damsel in digress!" :)

A damsel in digress once countered:
"What rescue?! Your warhorse has foundered!"

Albedo of Zero
02-24-2010, 11:56 AM
A damsel in digress once countered:
"What rescue?! Your warhorse has foundered!"
"And where is my knight?"

Nymtoc
02-24-2010, 01:46 PM
A damsel in digress once countered:
"What rescue?! Your warhorse has foundered!"
"And where is my knight?
Won't he come and fight?

Meaney
02-24-2010, 04:04 PM
A damsel in digress once countered:
"What rescue?! Your warhorse has foundered!"
"And where is my knight?
Won't he come and fight?"
And left she in direction southward.

My toaster just won't shut up talking

slcboston
02-24-2010, 06:57 PM
My toaster just won't shut up talking
And the fridge has taken to walking

Lavern08
02-24-2010, 08:07 PM
My toaster just won't shut up talking
And the fridge has taken to walking
The tea kettle spoke

iLion
02-24-2010, 09:17 PM
My toaster just won't shut up talking
And the fridge has taken to walking
The tea kettle spoke
The oven awoke

Nymtoc
02-24-2010, 09:28 PM
My toaster just won't shut up talking
And the fridge has taken to walking
The tea kettle spoke
The oven awoke
What a bother! The whole town is gawking.

Young Jimmy believed he could fly

Lavern08
02-24-2010, 09:33 PM
Young Jimmy believed he could fly
He would point to the birds in the sky

iLion
02-24-2010, 09:44 PM
Young Jimmy believed he could fly.
He would point to the birds in the sky.
So he lept from the roof

archerjoe
02-24-2010, 09:49 PM
Young Jimmy believed he could fly.
He would point to the birds in the sky.
So he lept from the roof,
His ideas went poof

Pthom
02-24-2010, 10:07 PM
Young Jimmy believed he could fly.
He would point to the birds in the sky.
So he lept from the roof,
His ideas went poof
As kersplat! he lit in the pig sty.

I never could ever win Tetris

archerjoe
02-24-2010, 10:57 PM
I never could ever win Tetris
I'm quick but I'm not very dexterous

flyingtart
02-24-2010, 11:05 PM
I never could ever win Tetris
I'm quick but I'm not very dexterous
So instead I try

CDSinex
02-25-2010, 01:50 AM
I never could ever win Tetris
I'm quick but I'm not very dexterous
So instead I try
To tie a dry-fly.

Pthom
02-25-2010, 02:29 AM
I never could ever win Tetris
I'm quick but I'm not very dexterous
So instead I try
To tie a dry-fly.
But my thumbs seem as big as a mattress!

The cocoa I made just this morning

Paul
02-25-2010, 03:29 AM
The cocoa I made just this morning
has set my jaw a- yawning

__________________

CDSinex
02-25-2010, 05:48 AM
The cocoa I made just this morning
has set my jaw a- yawning
It started repeating.

Matera the Mad
02-25-2010, 08:46 AM
The cocoa I made just this morning
has set my jaw a- yawning
It started repeating
'Til I lost my seating

Paul
02-25-2010, 10:38 AM
The cocoa I made just this morning
has set my jaw a- yawning
It started repeating
'Til I lost my seating
and I found myself on the floor fawning


The sailor revealed his tattoo

Paul
02-25-2010, 10:42 AM
A damsel in digress? Distress?

A play on word, (honest)
you see, she's countering...

:)


not saying a good play, but a play.
"The subtext jarred a little against my finer sensibilities, though the central role was well, adequately delivered...."

CDSinex
02-25-2010, 10:52 AM
A play on word, (honest)
you see, she's countering...

:)


not saying a good play, but a play.
"The subtext jarred a little against my finer sensibilities, though the central role was well, adequately delivered...."


I'm kind of slow sometimes. Thanks for clearing it up.

CDSinex
02-25-2010, 10:55 AM
The sailor revealed his tattoo
Which he really didn't have to do.

Paul
02-25-2010, 11:11 AM
The sailor revealed his tattoo
Which he really didn't have to do
So I took out a plaster

Pthom
02-25-2010, 12:02 PM
The sailor revealed his tattoo
Which he really didn't have to do
So I took out a plaster
And covered it faster

Nymtoc
02-25-2010, 12:45 PM
The sailor revealed his tattoo
Which he really didn't have to do
So I took out a plaster
And covered it faster
And beat a retreat. Toodle-oo!

We always have dinner at eight

Meaney
02-25-2010, 01:33 PM
We always have dinner at eight
Lord have mercy if you are late

flyingtart
02-25-2010, 06:29 PM
We always have dinner at eight
Lord have mercy if you are late
For all will be eaten

Paul
02-25-2010, 07:13 PM
We always have dinner at eight
Lord have mercy if you are late
For all will be eaten
whether standing or seating (he he)
__________________

iLion
02-25-2010, 09:30 PM
We always have dinner at eight,
Lord have mercy if ever you're late.
For all will be eaten,
Whether standin' or seatin',
And nothin' will be on your plate.

-------------------------

A young man who wanted ten kids,

slcboston
02-25-2010, 10:34 PM
A young man who wanted ten kids,
Bought goats from a man on the skids,

CDSinex
02-25-2010, 11:33 PM
A young man who wanted ten kids,
Bought goats from a man on the skids,
He set them to graze

Paul
02-26-2010, 03:00 AM
A young man who wanted ten kids,
Bought goats from a man on the skids,
He set them to graze
until they were raised

Autodidact
02-26-2010, 03:19 AM
A young man who wanted ten kids,
Bought goats from a man on the skids,
He set them to graze
until they were raised
and sold all at sizable bids.


This year on American Idol

Paul
02-26-2010, 03:25 AM
This year on American Idol
Simon Scowl strapped on a bridle

Matera the Mad
02-26-2010, 07:05 AM
This year on American Idol
Simon Scowl strapped on a bridle
With the bit in his teeth

Preacher'sWife
02-26-2010, 07:30 AM
This year on American Idol
Simon Scowl strapped on a bridle
With the bit in his teeth
And his hooves underneath

brad_b
02-26-2010, 07:50 AM
This year on American Idol
Simon Scowl strapped on a bridle
With the bit in his teeth
And his hooves underneath
He grumped as to the stage he did sidle.

It is not the plight of the bee

archerjoe
02-26-2010, 07:58 AM
It is not the plight of the bee
To make honey for my toast, you see.

CatSlave
02-26-2010, 08:26 AM
It is not the plight of the bee
To make honey for my toast, you see.
They dance in the flowers

brad_b
02-26-2010, 08:36 AM
It is not the plight of the bee
To make honey for my toast, you see.
They dance in the flowers
To pass all the hours

Nymtoc
02-26-2010, 09:38 AM
It is not the plight of the bee
To make honey for my toast, you see.
They dance in the flowers
To pass all the hours
And sting all intruders with glee.

A werewolf appeared in my dream

Sir_Nigel
02-26-2010, 01:15 PM
A werewolf appeared in my dream
with a large can of UHT cream

CDSinex
02-26-2010, 11:35 PM
A werewolf appeared in my dream
with a large can of UHT cream
He offered to share it.

Paul
02-27-2010, 12:07 AM
A werewolf appeared in my dream
with a large can of UHT cream
He offered to share it.
Or else "I could wear it"
__________________

Autodidact
02-27-2010, 12:47 AM
A werewolf appeared in my dream
with a large can of UHT cream
He offered to share it.
Or else "I could wear it"
Thus ultra and high, it would seem.


A Republican from deepest Ohio

CDSinex
02-27-2010, 02:51 AM
A Republican from deepest Ohio
Was a Republican't, oh me, oh my-o.

Paul
02-27-2010, 03:21 AM
A Republican from deepest Ohio
Was a Republican't, oh me, oh my-o.
but when it came to cash

Nymtoc
02-27-2010, 03:36 AM
A Republican from deepest Ohio
Was a Republican't, oh me, oh my-o.
but when it came to cash
he had quite a stash

Preacher'sWife
02-27-2010, 05:17 AM
A Republican from deepest Ohio
Was a Republican't, oh me, oh my-o.
but when it came to cash
he had quite a stash
That could pay off the debt you and I owe.

Maid Myrtle tried milking her cow

CatSlave
02-27-2010, 05:24 AM
Maid Myrtle tried milking her cow
Her hands were quite rough from the plow

archerjoe
02-27-2010, 06:02 AM
Maid Myrtle tried milking her cow
Her hands were quite rough from the plow
Away went the pail

CatSlave
02-27-2010, 07:05 AM
Maid Myrtle tried milking her cow
Her hands were quite rough from the plow
Away went the pail
When the cow flailed her tail

Meaney
02-27-2010, 07:23 AM
Maid Myrtle tried milking her cow
Her hands were quite rough from the plow
Away went the pail
When the cow flailed her tail
'Cause, frankly, she didn't know how.

The foreman tore off his hard hat

Nymtoc
02-27-2010, 09:26 AM
The foreman tore off his hard hat,
Exclaiming "The boss is a rat!"

Matera the Mad
02-27-2010, 09:27 AM
The foreman tore off his hard hat,
Exclaiming "The boss is a rat!"
The workers agreed

CatSlave
02-27-2010, 09:40 AM
The foreman tore off his hard hat,
Exclaiming "The boss is a rat!"
The workers agreed
The foreman should lead

Meaney
02-27-2010, 11:58 AM
The foreman tore off his hard hat,
Exclaiming "The boss is a rat!"
The workers agreed
the foreman should lead
a revolt to depose the fat cat.

The reign of King Herbert the Dunce

Albedo of Zero
02-27-2010, 01:29 PM
The reign of King Herbert the Dunce
could be pondered while smoking some blunts

flyingtart
02-27-2010, 05:33 PM
The reign of King Herbert the Dunce
could be pondered while smoking some blunts
It was famed near and far

K1P1
02-27-2010, 05:57 PM
The reign of King Herbert the Dunce
could be pondered while smoking some blunts
It was famed near and far
How he bellied the bar

Meaney
02-27-2010, 06:53 PM
The reign of King Herbert the Dunce
could be pondered while smoking some blunts
It was famed near and far
How he bellied the bar
and called his constituents cuckoo. ;)

Whatever became of the Fonz?