Limericks Live!

... and?

*crickets chirping*

There - have at

A sprightly old lady from Leeds

A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds

A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg

A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg
and then started to beg

A sprightly old lady from Leeds
Was gardening, pulling some weeds
When a weed pulled her leg
and then started to beg
for photosynthetic misdeeds

The lions and tigers and bears

The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs

The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips

The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips,
Gladys Knight and the Pips

The lions and tigers and bears
Sat 'round the TV in their chairs
They ate lots of chips,
Gladys Knight and the Pips
And said, "This beats drafty old lairs."

But the tigers had their own agenda

But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda

But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze

But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
they earned all their fees

But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
While scratching their fleas

But the tigers had their own agenda
They were swift as a Flying Wallenda
Up on a trapeze
While scratching their fleas
and wound up in a pile up-enda (literary license, OK?)

The bears began beating a path

The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath

The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing

The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing
While the bears were obsessing

The bears began beating a path
for the last book by Sylvia Plath
It was rather depressing
While the bears were obsessing
about how to stage 'Grapes of Wrath'

So the lions took up a collection

So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection

So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.

So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.
And they merciless-LEE

So the lions took up a collection
to save the bears from rejection
They hocked the T.V.
And mercilessly
gave the tigers the best seating section.

The tigers that night had a ball

The tigers that night had a ball
With the bears and the lions and all.