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ad_lucem
10-08-2009, 07:35 PM
The Count said, "I smell something fishy!"
Said the Countess, "Stop acting apishy!"
The count looked perplexed
and thought she was hexed
Then he stepped in something squishy.

Over the hill and far far away

talkwrite
10-09-2009, 03:53 AM
Over the hill and far far away
Where the white beaked, grey necked owls stay

oneblindmouse
10-09-2009, 01:24 PM
Over the hill and far far away
Where the white beaked, grey necked owls stay
The poems don't scan

Sir_Nigel
10-09-2009, 01:26 PM
Over the hill and far far away
Where the white beaked, grey necked owls stay
The poems don't scan
(not everyone can)

heth718
10-09-2009, 04:45 PM
Over the hill and far far away
Where the white beaked, grey necked owls stay
The poems don't scan
(not everyone can)
and the water buffalos play


Mine eyes have seen the glory

flyingtart
10-09-2009, 05:33 PM
Mine eyes have seen the glory
It's quite a funny story

Sir_Nigel
10-09-2009, 06:18 PM
Mine eyes have seen the glory
It's quite a funny story -
A goat and two nuns

ad_lucem
10-09-2009, 08:48 PM
Mine eyes have seen the glory
It's quite a funny story -
A goat and two nuns
And two pastry buns

heth718
10-09-2009, 09:25 PM
Mine eyes have seen the glory
It's quite a funny story -
A goat and two nuns
And two pastry buns
are responsible for saving Kind Dory


My brain cannot handle the pressure

Matera the Mad
10-11-2009, 08:44 AM
My brain cannot handle the pressure
Of writing for hours beyond measure

ad_lucem
10-11-2009, 09:30 AM
My brain cannot handle the pressure
Of writing for hours beyond measure
So, you have to agree...

Nymtoc
10-11-2009, 08:42 PM
My brain cannot handle the pressure
Of writing for hours beyond measure
So, you have to agree...
That a nice cup of tea

Steam&Ink
10-12-2009, 01:50 AM
My brain cannot handle the pressure
Of writing for hours beyond measure
So, you have to agree...
That a nice cup of tea
would be an appropriate pleasure.



If considering becoming a writer,

Nymtoc
10-12-2009, 05:50 AM
If considering becoming a writer,
You must get down and train like a fighter

Matera the Mad
10-12-2009, 06:39 AM
If considering becoming a writer,
You must get down and train like a fighter
Punctuation and grammar

Sir_Nigel
10-12-2009, 12:50 PM
If considering becoming a writer,
You must get down and train like a fighter
Punctuation and grammar
(though banned in Alabama)

flyingtart
10-12-2009, 05:50 PM
If considering becoming a writer,
You must get down and train like a fighter
Punctuation and grammar
(though banned in Alabama)
Will help keep your prose so much tighter.


A one-eyed investor called Carl

SanStormin
10-12-2009, 07:12 PM
A one-eyed investor called Carl
A Scotsman who wore blue marl

slcboston
10-12-2009, 07:53 PM
A one-eyed investor called Carl
Was a Scotsman who wore blue marl
He said "hi" to some sheep

Nymtoc
10-12-2009, 09:24 PM
A one-eyed investor called Carl
Was a Scotsman who wore blue marl
He said "hi" to some sheep,
Counted them, fell asleep,

ad_lucem
10-12-2009, 09:39 PM
A one-eyed investor called Carl
Was a Scotsman who wore blue marl
He said "hi" to some sheep,
Counted them, fell asleep,
And woke up with a wolf that did snarl

There is nothing that rhymes with this word!

Nymtoc
10-12-2009, 09:44 PM
There is nothing that rhymes with this word!
Think there is? Then you're being absurd!

ad_lucem
10-12-2009, 09:48 PM
There is nothing that rhymes with this word!
Think there is? Then you're being absurd!
Now don't you tell me...

heth718
10-12-2009, 10:03 PM
There is nothing that rhymes with this word!
Think there is? Then you're being absurd!
Now don't you tell me...
about "i" after "e"

flyingtart
10-12-2009, 10:14 PM
There is nothing that rhymes with this word!
Think there is? Then you're being absurd!
Now don't you tell me...
about "i" after "e"
Or I'll punch out your lights, you fat turd!


A sailor who skippered a sloop

Steam&Ink
10-13-2009, 12:08 AM
A sailor who skippered a sloop
was passionate about hula-hoop

archerjoe
10-13-2009, 12:54 AM
A sailor who skippered a sloop
was passionate about hula-hoop
It tangled a line

Steam&Ink
10-13-2009, 01:01 AM
A sailor who skippered a sloop
was passionate about hula-hoop
It tangled a line
(a very bad sign)

heth718
10-13-2009, 03:15 AM
A sailor who skippered a sloop
was passionate about hula-hoop
It tangled a line
(a very bad sign)
to be short, now he walks with a stoop


My little ponies are neat

Nymtoc
10-13-2009, 03:18 AM
My little ponies are neat
They waltz without skipping a beat

ad_lucem
10-13-2009, 03:34 AM
My little ponies are neat
They waltz without skipping a beat
They also can samba

Steam&Ink
10-13-2009, 03:43 AM
My little ponies are neat
They waltz without skipping a beat
They also can samba
to the tune of "La Bamba"

archerjoe
10-13-2009, 06:34 AM
My little ponies are neat
They waltz without skipping a beat
They also can samba
to the tune of "La Bamba"
And two-step with each pair of feet

But wait, these ponies do more!

Steam&Ink
10-13-2009, 06:38 AM
But wait, these ponies do more!
They breakdance all over the floor!

Nymtoc
10-13-2009, 03:38 PM
But wait, these ponies do more!
They breakdance all over the floor!
And if you like swing

Woof
10-13-2009, 03:47 PM
But wait, these ponies do more!
They breakdance all over the floor!
And if you like swing
And listening to Bing

archerjoe
10-13-2009, 04:45 PM
But wait, these ponies do more!
They breakdance all over the floor!
And if you like swing
And listening to Bing
They'll be back with a swell encore.

Other animals do nifty tricks

The Tin Dog
10-13-2009, 06:12 PM
Other animals do nifty tricks
Like standing on piles of bricks

heth718
10-13-2009, 06:34 PM
Other animals do nifty tricks
Like standing on piles of bricks
or leaping through hoops

ad_lucem
10-14-2009, 04:53 AM
Other animals do nifty tricks
Like standing on piles of bricks
or leaping through hoops
to entertain troops...

Sir_Nigel
10-14-2009, 11:49 AM
Other animals do nifty tricks
Like standing on piles of bricks
or leaping through hoops
to entertain troops
or counting to seventy six.


A lady from North Carolina

Nymtoc
10-14-2009, 12:13 PM
A lady from North Carolina
Decided to open a diner

The Tin Dog
10-14-2009, 05:01 PM
A lady from North Carolina
Decided to open a diner
She sold lots of pasta

flyingtart
10-14-2009, 05:14 PM
A lady from North Carolina
Decided to open a diner
She sold lots of pasta
Which she could cook faster

Nymtoc
10-14-2009, 10:11 PM
A lady from North Carolina
Decided to open a diner
She sold lots of pasta
Which she could cook faster
Than moo goo gai pan shipped from China.

The Duchess of Dunwich is daffy

The Tin Dog
10-14-2009, 11:01 PM
The Duchess of Dunwich is daffy
Spending all of the time in a cafe

heth718
10-14-2009, 11:49 PM
The Duchess of Dunwich is daffy
Spending all of the time in a cafe
if only she'd known

Lavern08
10-15-2009, 12:22 AM
The Duchess of Dunwich is daffy
Spending all of the time in a cafe
if only she'd known
where the coffee was grown

talkwrite
10-15-2009, 04:21 AM
The Duchess of Dunwich is daffy
Spending all of the time in a cafe
if only she'd known
where the coffee was grown
She would stand up and shout "Slap me"

The Duke of Cornwall sought a wife

The Tin Dog
10-15-2009, 04:55 AM
The Duke of Cornwall sought a wife
To calm him down and ease his strife

Steam&Ink
10-15-2009, 05:23 AM
The Duke of Cornwall sought a wife
To calm him down and ease his strife
But oh! How he cried

Nymtoc
10-15-2009, 06:53 AM
The Duke of Cornwall sought a wife
To calm him down and ease his strife
But oh! How he cried
The night when his bride

Matera the Mad
10-15-2009, 08:50 AM
The Duke of Cornwall sought a wife
To calm him down and ease his strife
But oh! How he cried
The night when his bride
Cut off his mm-mm with a knife!

One dark and stormy night there came

archerjoe
10-15-2009, 02:31 PM
One dark and stormy night there came
A man with a sinister name

Sir_Nigel
10-15-2009, 04:51 PM
One dark and stormy night there came
A man with a sinister name -
Mephisto O’Doom

flyingtart
10-15-2009, 05:19 PM
One dark and stormy night there came
A man with a sinister name -
Mephisto O’Doom
His face hushed the room

Lavern08
10-15-2009, 05:53 PM
One dark and stormy night there came
A man with a sinister name -
Mephisto O’Doom
His face hushed the room
And his stand-up routine was quite lame.


While walking my dog in the park

archerjoe
10-15-2009, 06:19 PM
While walking my dog in the park
I went for a streak on a lark

flyingtart
10-15-2009, 07:25 PM
While walking my dog in the park
I went for a streak on a lark
A passing rottweiler

Matera the Mad
10-16-2009, 08:22 AM
While walking my dog in the park
I went for a streak on a lark
A passing rottweiler
Thought I was a miler

archerjoe
10-16-2009, 02:33 PM
While walking my dog in the park
I went for a streak on a lark
A passing rottweiler
Thought I was a miler
And left an unfortunate mark

A budding musician named Fred

Nymtoc
10-16-2009, 03:41 PM
A budding musician named Fred
Used to play the bass fiddle in bed

flyingtart
10-16-2009, 06:19 PM
A budding musician named Fred
Used to play the bass fiddle in bed
But one day his bow

Lavern08
10-16-2009, 08:20 PM
A budding musician named Fred
Used to play the bass fiddle in bed
But one day his bow
Got caught down below

Nymtoc
10-16-2009, 09:31 PM
A budding musician named Fred
Used to play the bass fiddle in bed
But one day his bow
Got caught down below
Which is why Fred will never be wed.

"I'm having a party," said Sandy

talkwrite
10-17-2009, 02:34 AM
"I'm having a party," said Sandy
Wear costumes and bring lots of candy

archerjoe
10-17-2009, 05:02 AM
"I'm having a party," said Sandy
Wear costumes and bring lots of candy
And then at midnight

Matera the Mad
10-17-2009, 05:04 AM
"I'm having a party," said Sandy
Wear costumes and bring lots of candy
And then at midnight
I'll turn out the light

flyingtart
10-17-2009, 04:53 PM
"I'm having a party," said Sandy
Wear costumes and bring lots of candy
And then at midnight
I'll turn out the light
And you can get awfully randy.


A three legged donkey named Clive

archerjoe
10-18-2009, 02:45 AM
A three legged donkey named Clive
Attempted to kick a beehive

Matera the Mad
10-18-2009, 06:43 AM
A three legged donkey named Clive
Attempted to kick a beehive
He sprained a front leg

Nymtoc
10-18-2009, 02:09 PM
A three legged donkey named Clive
Attempted to kick a beehive
He sprained a front leg
Crashed into a keg

flyingtart
10-18-2009, 04:50 PM
A three legged donkey named Clive
Attempted to kick a beehive
He sprained a front leg
Crashed into a keg
Then finished completing a dive.

When Murgatroid pulled out his Luger

archerjoe
10-18-2009, 06:14 PM
When Murgatroid pulled out his Luger
Face to face with a viscious cougar

Nymtoc
10-18-2009, 07:57 PM
When Murgatroid pulled out his Luger
Face to face with a viscious cougar
He realized too late

flyingtart
10-18-2009, 08:10 PM
When Murgatroid pulled out his Luger
Face to face with a viscious cougar
He realized too late
She was really his date

Matera the Mad
10-19-2009, 06:57 AM
When Murgatroid pulled out his Luger
Face to face with a vicious cougar
He realized too late
She was really his date
Now he sits in jail picking at boogers

(no extra charge for spelling correction)

In the middle of town sat an old witch

Melisande
10-19-2009, 09:09 AM
In the middle of town sat an old witch
thinking up spells to cause a magic glitch

Matera the Mad
10-19-2009, 10:49 AM
In the middle of town sat an old witch
thinking up spells to cause a magic glitch
She had hair on her chin

archerjoe
10-19-2009, 05:23 PM
In the middle of town sat an old witch
thinking up spells to cause a magic glitch
She had hair on her chin
And a green-toothed grin

Sir_Nigel
10-19-2009, 05:37 PM
In the middle of town sat an old witch
thinking up spells to cause a magic glitch
She had hair on her chin
And a green-toothed grin
and a rather embarrassing itch.


‘It lives!’ cried the Prof in his lab

Nymtoc
10-19-2009, 07:40 PM
‘It lives!’ cried the Prof in his lab
Worried townsfolk soon started to gab

Lavern08
10-19-2009, 09:21 PM
‘It lives!’ cried the Prof in his lab
Worried townsfolk soon started to gab
When the monster went walking

talkwrite
10-19-2009, 10:30 PM
‘It lives!’ cried the Prof in his lab
Worried townsfolk soon started to gab
When the monster went walking
Nike went stalking

Melisande
10-20-2009, 02:11 AM
‘It lives!’ cried the Prof in his lab
Worried townsfolk soon started to gab
When the monster went walking
Nike went stalking
but got caught in the monster's flab



A girl from the city of Paris

archerjoe
10-20-2009, 05:30 AM
A girl from the city of Paris
Said "What fun my French derrière is!"

Matera the Mad
10-20-2009, 05:53 AM
A girl from the city of Paris
Said "What fun my French derrière is!"
It wiggles and shakes

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2009, 11:36 AM
A girl from the city of Paris
Said "What fun my French derrière is!"
It wiggles and shakes
though my buttocks are fakes

Nymtoc
10-20-2009, 01:29 PM
A girl from the city of Paris
Said "What fun my French derrière is!"
It wiggles and shakes
though my buttocks are fakes
They're inflatable. See where the air is?

When this girl went to swim in the Seine

Sir_Nigel
10-20-2009, 03:52 PM
When this girl went to swim in the Seine
she swore not to do it again

Nymtoc
10-20-2009, 06:18 PM
When this girl went to swim in the Seine
she swore not to do it again
So far did she float

talkwrite
10-21-2009, 01:55 AM
When this girl went to swim in the Seine
she swore not to do it again
So far did she float
Gills grew from her throat

Nymtoc
10-21-2009, 02:02 AM
When this girl went to swim in the Seine
she swore not to do it again
So far did she float
Gills grew from her throat
She cried, "I'd rather be a chienne."

Rip Van Winkle slept twenty years

talkwrite
10-21-2009, 02:12 AM
Rip Van Winkle slept twenty years
Erasing all subliminal fears

archerjoe
10-21-2009, 03:30 AM
Rip Van Winkle slept twenty years
Erasing all subliminal fears
He had pleasant dreams

talkwrite
10-21-2009, 04:11 AM
Rip Van Winkle slept twenty years
Erasing all subliminal fears
He had pleasant dreams
In idyllic scenes

Nymtoc
10-21-2009, 05:23 AM
Rip Van Winkle slept twenty years
Erasing all subliminal fears
He had pleasant dreams
In idyllic scenes
And grew lots of hair in his ears.

They say to be married is grand

Matera the Mad
10-21-2009, 10:27 AM
They say to be married is grand
But I don't know how "they" can stand

Lavern08
10-21-2009, 09:19 PM
They say to be married is grand
But I don't know how "they" can stand
All the rules and the fights

talkwrite
10-22-2009, 01:49 AM
They say to be married is grand
But I don't know how "they" can stand
All the rules and the fights
No more stranger's delights

archerjoe
10-22-2009, 04:45 AM
They say to be married is grand
But I don't know how "they" can stand
All the rules and the fights
No more stranger's delights
All the curse of a wedding band

Mount Everest requires a guide

Nymtoc
10-22-2009, 05:14 AM
Mount Everest requires a guide
Who can catch you when you start to slide

Matera the Mad
10-22-2009, 10:04 AM
Mount Everest requires a guide
Who can catch you when you start to slide
Otherwise hungry yetis

archerjoe
10-22-2009, 10:26 PM
Mount Everest requires a guide
Who can catch you when you start to slide
Otherwise hungry yetis
Craving human spaghettis

Nymtoc
10-22-2009, 10:53 PM
Mount Everest requires a guide
Who can catch you when you start to slide
Otherwise hungry yetis
Craving human spaghettis
Will dine on your succulent hide.

Julius Caesar was one bossy dude

heth718
10-23-2009, 04:10 AM
Julius Caesar was one bossy dude
And some of his underlings thought he was rude

archerjoe
10-23-2009, 04:50 AM
Julius Caesar was one bossy dude
And some of his underlings thought he was rude
At a bacchanalia

Matera the Mad
10-23-2009, 09:08 AM
Julius Caesar was one bossy dude
And some of his underlings thought he was rude
At a bacchanalia
His paraphernalia

Sir_Nigel
10-23-2009, 01:56 PM
Julius Caesar was one bossy dude
And some of his underlings thought he was rude
At a bacchanalia
His paraphernalia
failed to impress and was booed.



The limerick's scan must be true

Nymtoc
10-23-2009, 03:55 PM
The limerick's scan must be true
False rhymes are prohibited, too,

Lavern08
10-23-2009, 06:14 PM
The limerick's scan must be true
False rhymes are prohibited, too,
So don't come a-knockin'

Nymtoc
10-24-2009, 01:20 AM
The limerick's scan must be true
False rhymes are prohibited, too,
So don't come a-knockin'
With schlock. We'll be blockin'

Matera the Mad
10-24-2009, 06:20 AM
The limerick's scan must be true
False rhymes are prohibited, too,
So don't come a-knockin'
With schlock. We'll be blockin'
And give you a taste of the shoe


Writing parodies gives me a tickle

Nymtoc
10-24-2009, 04:17 PM
Writing parodies gives me a tickle
Though my muse can be vexingly fickle

archerjoe
10-24-2009, 05:08 PM
Writing parodies gives me a tickle
Though my muse can be vexingly fickle
My test audience

ad_lucem
10-24-2009, 09:50 PM
Writing parodies gives me a tickle
Though my muse can be vexingly fickle
My test audience
Is often too dense

Nymtoc
10-24-2009, 10:02 PM
Writing parodies gives me a tickle
Though my muse can be vexingly fickle
My test audience
Is often too dense
And hence I remain in a pickle.

One day at a time is my rule

Melisande
10-25-2009, 01:01 AM
One day at a time is my rule
If you don't comply you're a fool

ad_lucem
10-25-2009, 01:45 AM
One day at a time is my rule
If you don't comply you're a fool
But you must admit

archerjoe
10-25-2009, 05:11 AM
One day at a time is my rule
If you don't comply you're a fool
But you must admit
Not every habit

Matera the Mad
10-25-2009, 07:15 AM
One day at a time is my rule
If you don't comply you're a fool
But you must admit
Not every habit
Is conducive to keeping one's cool

Joe Blow was a desperate bloke

Nymtoc
10-25-2009, 08:05 AM
Joe Blow was a desperate bloke
He traded his coat for a smoke

archerjoe
10-25-2009, 11:46 PM
Joe Blow was a desperate bloke
He traded his coat for a smoke
It started snowing

ad_lucem
10-26-2009, 01:12 AM
Joe Blow was a desperate bloke
He traded his coat for a smoke
It started snowing
So he started hoing

Matera the Mad
10-26-2009, 12:09 PM
Joe Blow was a desperate bloke
He traded his coat for a smoke
It started snowing
So he started hoing
And found out that AIDS is no joke

My second grade teacher had pimples

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2009, 02:16 PM
My second grade teacher had pimples,
a squint, a club foot but nice dimples

rosebud1981
10-26-2009, 03:40 PM
My second grade teacher had pimples,
A squint, a club foot but nice dimples,
She had twenty-three sons,

Nymtoc
10-26-2009, 04:43 PM
My second grade teacher had pimples,
A squint, a club foot but nice dimples,
She had twenty-three sons,
And baked honey buns

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2009, 05:06 PM
My second grade teacher had pimples,
A squint, a club foot but nice dimples,
She had twenty-three sons,
And baked honey buns
and would fly to Barbados on impulse

Nymtoc- You missed a sitter there – sons – nuns – wimples ? duh


Oh no Mr Perkins - she said

Nymtoc
10-26-2009, 05:30 PM
Oh no Mr Perkins - she said
I can't let you sleep in my bed

sommemi
10-26-2009, 06:24 PM
Oh no Mr Perkins - she said
I can't let you sleep in my bed
The sheets are quite dirty

Lavern08
10-26-2009, 06:30 PM
Oh no Mr Perkins - she said
I can't let you sleep in my bed
The sheets are quite dirty
Her tone was real flirty

Sir_Nigel
10-26-2009, 06:45 PM
Oh no Mr Perkins - she said
I can't let you sleep in my bed
The sheets are quite dirty
Her tone was real flirty
So we’ll do it on the floor here instead

‘I have a confession’ said Perkins

sommemi
10-26-2009, 06:57 PM
‘I have a confession’ said Perkins
My manhood has taken to hurtin'

Lavern08
10-26-2009, 07:07 PM
‘I have a confession’ said Perkins
My manhood has taken to hurtin'
You just need a pill

talkwrite
10-26-2009, 10:56 PM
‘I have a confession’ said Perkins
My manhood has taken to hurtin'
You just need a pill
to reverse that wilt

Matera the Mad
10-27-2009, 07:38 AM
‘I have a confession’ said Perkins
My manhood has taken to hurtin'
You just need a pill
to reverse that wilt
And soon you'll be humpin' and jerkin'

There was a young cockroach in Newark

talkwrite
10-27-2009, 07:38 PM
There was a young cockroach in Newark
Who was King of the city sewer

archerjoe
10-28-2009, 04:24 AM
There was a young cockroach in Newark
Who was King of the city sewer
Once in Hoboken

Matera the Mad
10-28-2009, 11:45 AM
There was a young cockroach in Newark
Who was King of the city sewer
Once in Hoboken
His cover was broken

Sir_Nigel
10-28-2009, 01:03 PM
There was a young cockroach in Newark
Who was King of the city sewer
Once in Hoboken
His cover was broken
He was squashed. Now the numbers are fewer.


Oh why why, why why, oh why

archerjoe
10-28-2009, 05:08 PM
Oh why why, why why, oh why
Does the drooling weirdo guy

Lavern08
10-28-2009, 05:48 PM
Oh why why, why why, oh why
Does the drooling weirdo guy
Seem to find me attractive

Sir_Nigel
10-28-2009, 06:11 PM
Oh why why, why why, oh why
Does the drooling weirdo guy
Seem to find me attractive
I’m so fat and inactive

Nymtoc
10-28-2009, 10:05 PM
Oh why why, why why, oh why
Does the drooling weirdo guy
Seem to find me attractive
I’m so fat and inactive
And my neck is as thick as my thigh.

There once was a goblin named Fred

archerjoe
10-28-2009, 10:28 PM
There once was a goblin named Fred
Class clown of the realm of undead

ad_lucem
10-28-2009, 10:39 PM
There once was a goblin named Fred
Class clown of the realm of undead
He was so funny

Matera the Mad
10-29-2009, 11:19 AM
There once was a goblin named Fred
Class clown of the realm of undead
He was so funny
He made eyes go runny

Nymtoc
10-29-2009, 11:37 AM
There once was a goblin named Fred
Class clown of the realm of undead
He was so funny
He made eyes go runny
When they saw him float on his head.

At midnight the spirits appear

archerjoe
10-29-2009, 03:55 PM
At midnight the spirits appear
Causing people to retreat in fear

SanStormin
10-29-2009, 08:18 PM
At midnight the spirits appear
Causing people to retreat in fear
They fret and they spew

ad_lucem
10-29-2009, 08:36 PM
At midnight the spirits appear
Causing people to retreat in fear
They fret and they spew
A gelatinous goo

Lavern08
10-29-2009, 08:37 PM
At midnight the spirits appear
Causing people to retreat in fear
They fret and they spew
A gelatinous goo
Then they leave and return the next year.

I wish that I never was born

talkwrite
10-29-2009, 08:42 PM
I wish that I never was born
To a life so sad and forlorn

flyingtart
10-29-2009, 08:48 PM
I wish that I never was born
To a life so sad and forlorn
If I'd been a Queen

Nymtoc
10-29-2009, 10:17 PM
I wish that I never was born
To a life so sad and forlorn
If I'd been a Queen,
So proud and serene,

talkwrite
10-29-2009, 11:44 PM
I wish that I never was born
To a life so sad and forlorn
If I'd been a Queen,
So proud and serene,
Never to blow my own horn.

Beware the ghost of Jane Eyre

archerjoe
10-30-2009, 04:51 AM
Beware the ghost of Jane Eyre
She gave many a man white hair

Nymtoc
10-30-2009, 04:59 AM
Beware the ghost of Jane Eyre
She gave many a man white hair
Deceptively mild,

Sir_Nigel
10-30-2009, 12:46 PM
Beware the ghost of Jane Eyre
She gave many a man white hair
Deceptively mild,
in the sack she was wild

flyingtart
10-30-2009, 06:09 PM
Beware the ghost of Jane Eyre
She gave many a man white hair
Deceptively mild,
in the sack she was wild
But come morning there was no-one there.


Miss Quinn was the star of the show

talkwrite
10-30-2009, 09:04 PM
Miss Quinn was the star of the show
She knew how to make the love flow

heth718
10-31-2009, 12:08 AM
Miss Quinn was the star of the show
She knew how to make the love flow
with a wink and a shiver

Nymtoc
10-31-2009, 12:12 AM
Miss Quinn was the star of the show
She knew how to make the love flow
with a wink and a shiver
She made the guys quiver

Matera the Mad
10-31-2009, 07:29 AM
Miss Quinn was the star of the show
She knew how to make the love flow
with a wink and a shiver
She made the guys quiver
Their eyes and their mm-mms aglow

There was a male stripper named Randy

rosebud1981
10-31-2009, 04:22 PM
There was a male stripper named Randy
Who was addicted to egg-flavoured candy

archerjoe
10-31-2009, 06:39 PM
There was a male stripper named Randy
Who was addicted to egg-flavoured candy
He'd peel off the shell

flyingtart
10-31-2009, 10:58 PM
There was a male stripper named Randy
Who was addicted to egg-flavoured candy
He'd peel off the shell
Then shake it like hell

Nymtoc
10-31-2009, 11:07 PM
There was a male stripper named Randy
Who was addicted to egg-flavoured candy
He'd peel off the shell
Then shake it like hell
While customers doused him with brandy.

Three witches were cackling one night

Lavern08
11-01-2009, 12:17 AM
Three witches were cackling one night
As they gave a truck driver a fright

Matera the Mad
11-01-2009, 11:01 AM
Three witches were cackling one night
As they gave a truck driver a fright
He went in the ditch

flyingtart
11-01-2009, 02:40 PM
Three witches were cackling one night
As they gave a truck driver a fright
He went in the ditch
Which was really a bitch

Nymtoc
11-01-2009, 03:51 PM
Three witches were cackling one night
As they gave a truck driver a fright
He went in the ditch
Which was really a bitch
So he went and got high as a kite.

Be sure to drink milk every day

heth718
11-01-2009, 07:28 PM
Be sure to drink milk every day
From cow, goat or soybean's OK

flyingtart
11-01-2009, 11:11 PM
Be sure to drink milk every day
From cow, goat or soybean's OK
But if the lactose

slcboston
11-02-2009, 12:27 AM
Be sure to drink milk every day
From cow, goat or soybean's OK
But if the lactose
Leaves you morose

SanStormin
11-02-2009, 12:35 AM
Be sure to drink milk every day
From cow, goat or soybean's OK
But if the lactose
Leaves you morose
I trust you'll throw it away.


Strange things happen here at four

Nymtoc
11-02-2009, 12:35 AM
Be sure to drink milk every day
From cow, goat or soybean's OK
But if the lactose
Leaves you morose
Give up milk and drink Pouilly-Fuissé.

Take heart when things seem to go bad

archerjoe
11-02-2009, 04:11 AM
Let's double down!

Strange things happen here at four
Behind the stainless steel door

Take heart when things seem to go bad
Don't worry; let your heart be glad

Nymtoc
11-02-2009, 04:20 AM
Strange things happen here at four
Behind the stainless steel door
The sounds from inside

Take heart when things seem to go bad
Don't worry; let your heart be glad
A new day will dawn

Matera the Mad
11-02-2009, 10:57 AM
Strange things happen here at four
Behind the stainless steel door
The sounds from inside
Will shrivel your hide

Take heart when things seem to go bad
Don't worry; let your heart be glad
A new day will dawn
And you will be drawn

Nymtoc
11-02-2009, 11:23 AM
Strange things happen here at four
Behind the stainless steel door
The sounds from inside
Will shrivel your hide
Survivors recall blood and gore!

Take heart when things seem to go bad
Don't worry; let your heart be glad
A new day will dawn
And you will be drawn
To all kinds of good things, not bad.


There once was a gambler from Philly

Matera the Mad
11-02-2009, 12:54 PM
There once was a gambler from Philly
Who took all his losses so illy

archerjoe
11-02-2009, 03:29 PM
There once was a gambler from Philly
Who took all his losses so illy
He went off his meds

Matera the Mad
11-02-2009, 09:18 PM
There once was a gambler from Philly
Who took all his losses so illy
He went off his meds
And shot a few Feds

Nymtoc
11-02-2009, 11:26 PM
There once was a gambler from Philly
Who took all his losses so illy
He went off his meds
And shot a few Feds
"Shucks," he said, "I just shot willy-nilly."

Beowulf was a hero so bold

archerjoe
11-02-2009, 11:51 PM
Beowulf was a hero so bold
His story has never grown old

Lavern08
11-03-2009, 12:30 AM
Beowulf was a hero so bold
His story has never grown old
Though some might not like it

Woof
11-03-2009, 12:36 AM
Beowulf was a hero so bold
His story has never grown old
Though some might not like it
To them I say, "Hike It!"

Nymtoc
11-03-2009, 12:53 AM
Beowulf was a hero so bold
His story has never grown old
Though some might not like it
To them I say, "Hike It!"
Brave deeds are more precious than gold.

While drinking Jack Daniel's one day

Melisande
11-03-2009, 01:32 AM
While drinking Jack Daniel's one day
A man cried out loud; NAY!

talkwrite
11-03-2009, 01:49 AM
While drinking Jack Daniel's one day
A man cried out loud; NAY!
I will not add Coke

Nymtoc
11-03-2009, 01:57 AM
While drinking Jack Daniel's one day
A man cried out loud; NAY!
I will not add Coke
Mixed drinks are a joke

Melisande
11-03-2009, 01:58 AM
While drinking Jack Daniel's one day
A man cried out loud; NAY!
I will not add Coke
Mixed drinks are a joke
And this I will continue to say!

My father was a humble man

talkwrite
11-03-2009, 02:03 AM
My father was a humble man
Who never worked without a plan

archerjoe
11-03-2009, 06:43 AM
My father was a humble man
Who never worked without a plan
With pencil and paper

Nymtoc
11-03-2009, 07:19 AM
My father was a humble man
Who never worked without a plan
With pencil and paper
He'd outline each caper

Matera the Mad
11-03-2009, 10:57 AM
My father was a humble man
Who never worked without a plan
With pencil and paper
He'd outline each caper
And screw up again and again and again

If they ever repealed Murphy's Law

Sir_Nigel
11-03-2009, 03:58 PM
If they ever repealed Murphy's Law
I would writhe in delight on the floor

flyingtart
11-03-2009, 06:30 PM
If they ever repealed Murphy's Law
I would writhe in delight on the floor
For my fortune would switch

heth718
11-03-2009, 09:32 PM
If they ever repealed Murphy's Law
I would writhe in delight on the floor
For my fortune would switch
and my eyes wouldn't twitch

Nymtoc
11-03-2009, 10:34 PM
If they ever repealed Murphy's Law
I would writhe in delight on the floor
For my fortune would switch
and my eyes wouldn't twitch
And I'd shout, "¡Éxito, mi amor!"

In the land where the candy canes grow

Lavern08
11-04-2009, 12:46 AM
In the land where the candy canes grow
and there's plenty of reindeer and snow

heth718
11-04-2009, 04:04 AM
In the land where the candy canes grow
and there's plenty of reindeer and snow
'twould surprise you to see

archerjoe
11-04-2009, 07:15 AM
In the land where the candy canes grow
and there's plenty of reindeer and snow
'twould surprise you to see
what's given for free

Nymtoc
11-04-2009, 08:39 AM
In the land where the candy canes grow
and there's plenty of reindeer and snow
'twould surprise you to see
what's given for free
if you know how to go with the flow.

My Aunt Dardanella is mad

Matera the Mad
11-04-2009, 10:37 AM
My Aunt Dardanella is mad
But that's not what's really so sad

Sir_Nigel
11-04-2009, 12:45 PM
My Aunt Dardanella is mad
But that's not what's really so sad
Her puppy is lame

flyingtart
11-04-2009, 06:41 PM
My Aunt Dardanella is mad
But that's not what's really so sad
Her puppy is lame
Has a ludicrous name

Sir_Nigel
11-04-2009, 06:51 PM
My Aunt Dardanella is mad
But that's not what's really so sad
Her puppy is lame,
has a ludicrous name
and it’s the only friend she ever had.


But what shall I do with this sponge?

K1P1
11-05-2009, 01:53 AM
But what shall I do with this sponge?
It's black and encrusted with grunge.

talkwrite
11-05-2009, 01:57 AM
But what shall I do with this sponge?
It's black and encrusted with grunge.
This foul, it won't clean

Matera the Mad
11-05-2009, 07:33 AM
But what shall I do with this sponge?
It's black and encrusted with grunge.
This foul, it won't clean
And it soon will turn green

Nymtoc
11-05-2009, 12:00 PM
But what shall I do with this sponge?
It's black and encrusted with grunge.
This foul, it won't clean
And it soon will turn green
So into the trash can should it plunge?

There was once a fair damsel called Belle

Sir_Nigel
11-05-2009, 12:49 PM
There was once a fair damsel called Belle
who belched and exclaimed: ‘F**kin’ ‘ell!’

archerjoe
11-05-2009, 04:52 PM
There was once a fair damsel called Belle
who belched and exclaimed: ‘F**kin’ ‘ell!’
I've tried to be nice

Sir_Nigel
11-05-2009, 05:13 PM
There was once a fair damsel called Belle
who belched and exclaimed: ‘F**kin’ ‘ell!’
I've tried to be nice
but I much prefer vice

Nymtoc
11-05-2009, 05:34 PM
There was once a fair damsel called Belle
who belched and exclaimed: ‘F**kin’ ‘ell!’
I've tried to be nice
but I much prefer vice
so I think I should mention her smell.

On the banks of the old river Po

heth718
11-05-2009, 06:35 PM
On the banks of the old River Po
When the trees wear a dust of white snow

talkwrite
11-05-2009, 07:45 PM
On the banks of the old River Po
When the trees wear a dust of white snow
A bitter wind blew

flyingtart
11-05-2009, 08:01 PM
On the banks of the old River Po
When the trees wear a dust of white snow
A bitter wind blew
On me and on you

talkwrite
11-05-2009, 11:36 PM
On the banks of the old River Po
When the trees wear a dust of white snow
A bitter wind blew
On me and on you
The few memories I have come slow

There was a fur trapper from up north

K1P1
11-06-2009, 05:56 AM
There was a fur trapper from up north
Who one day in his shorts sallied forth.

Sir_Nigel
11-06-2009, 12:24 PM
There was a fur trapper from up north
Who one day in his shorts sallied forth.
his shorts were so short

Nymtoc
11-06-2009, 01:34 PM
There was a fur trapper from up north
Who one day in his shorts sallied forth.
his shorts were so short
They drew many a snort

heth718
11-06-2009, 05:23 PM
There was a fur trapper from up north
Who one day in his shorts sallied forth.
his shorts were so short
They drew many a snort
And he quickly devalued their worth (if you say with an accent it works)

When I woke I had green spotted skin

Sir_Nigel
11-06-2009, 06:12 PM
When I woke I had green spotted skin
and so had my Siamese twin!

Matera the Mad
11-07-2009, 07:31 AM
When I woke I had green spotted skin
and so had my Siamese twin!
We looked at each other

Nymtoc
11-07-2009, 08:15 AM
When I woke I had green spotted skin
and so had my Siamese twin!
We looked at each other
And called for our mother

Melisande
11-07-2009, 06:13 PM
When I woke I had green spotted skin
and so had my Siamese twin!
We looked at each other
And called for our mother
Who sure couldn't help, but grin.

There once was a cow in Alabama

Melisande
11-08-2009, 03:24 AM
There once was a cow in Alabama
who thought she was a hot mama

Matera the Mad
11-08-2009, 06:24 AM
There once was a cow in Alabama
who thought she was a hot mama
She wore a pink bra

archerjoe
11-08-2009, 08:19 PM
There once was a cow in Alabama
who thought she was a hot mama
She wore a pink bra
Utter ooh-la-la

Matera the Mad
11-09-2009, 08:27 AM
There once was a cow in Alabama
who thought she was a hot mama
She wore a pink bra
Utter ooh-la-la
And danced a wild bovine samba


John Henry was a steel-drivin' man

Nymtoc
11-09-2009, 10:53 AM
John Henry was a steel-drivin' man
He had a perpetual tan

flyingtart
11-09-2009, 03:52 PM
John Henry was a steel-drivin' man
He had a perpetual tan
It went down his back

Lavern08
11-10-2009, 12:49 AM
John Henry was a steel-drivin' man
He had a perpetual tan
It went down his back
All the way to his crack (sorry for being crude)

archerjoe
11-10-2009, 01:06 AM
John Henry was a steel-drivin' man
He had a perpetual tan
It went down his back
All the way to his crack
Which earned him many a fan

Wilbur said "About this swine flu"

talkwrite
11-10-2009, 01:33 AM
Wilbur said "About this swine flu"
I'm sorry I just sneezed on you.

Matera the Mad
11-10-2009, 10:30 AM
Wilbur said "About this swine flu"
I'm sorry I just sneezed on you.
I'd have covered my face

flyingtart
11-10-2009, 01:11 PM
Wilbur said "About this swine flu"
I'm sorry I just sneezed on you.
I'd have covered my face
With a cloth, just in case

Sir_Nigel
11-10-2009, 02:21 PM
Wilbur said "About this swine flu"
I'm sorry I just sneezed on you.
I'd have covered my face
With a cloth, just in case
but… aphooey, bleuheurgh, achooo


Oh no, I have stepped in manure

Nymtoc
11-10-2009, 03:31 PM
Oh no, I have stepped in manure
I feel like an absolute boor

Woof
11-10-2009, 04:25 PM
Oh no, I have stepped in manure
I feel like an absolute boor
I smell like a pig

Nymtoc
11-10-2009, 09:21 PM
Oh no, I have stepped in manure
I feel like an absolute boor
I smell like a pig
The cow pie's so big

heth718
11-11-2009, 01:23 AM
Oh no, I have stepped in manure
I feel like an absolute boor
I smell like a pig
The cow pie's so big
No amount of cleaning's a cure
------

I open the door in my robe

Matera the Mad
11-11-2009, 07:22 AM
I open the door in my robe
And my visitor blinked like a strobe

Sir_Nigel
11-11-2009, 03:04 PM
I open the door in my robe
And my visitor blinked like a strobe
my robe was transparent !

Woof
11-11-2009, 04:30 PM
I open the door in my robe
And my visitor blinked like a strobe
my robe was transparent !
no shame was apparent

archerjoe
11-11-2009, 04:43 PM
I open the door in my robe
And my visitor blinked like a strobe
my robe was transparent !
no shame was apparent
Where the aliens attached their probe

Yes, I was abducted last night