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archerjoe
07-31-2009, 05:20 PM
A woman with stars in her eyes
Met her date and what a surprise!

Woof
07-31-2009, 05:38 PM
A woman with stars in her eyes
Met her date and what a surprise!
He had a long tail

flyingtart
07-31-2009, 08:16 PM
A woman with stars in her eyes
Met her date and what a surprise!
He had a long tail
And had just been in jail

Nymtoc
07-31-2009, 09:09 PM
A woman with stars in her eyes
Met her date and what a surprise!
He had a long tail
And had just been in jail
And his kisser was covered with flies.

There once was a paranoid farmer

Admiral Snuggles
07-31-2009, 09:13 PM
There once was a paranoid farmer
Who had the cool rep of a charmer

archerjoe
07-31-2009, 09:56 PM
There once was a paranoid farmer
Who had the cool rep of a charmer
He'd woo women in

Nightfly
08-01-2009, 03:26 AM
Then think "Wait. Not again."

archerjoe
08-01-2009, 07:27 AM
There once was a paranoid farmer
Who had the cool rep of a charmer
He'd woo women in
Then think "Wait. Not again."
I'll stick with the sheep, they're warmer.

When sheep saw him they would stampede

Nymtoc
08-01-2009, 08:58 AM
When sheep saw him they would stampede
Knowing all too well how he'd proceed

Woof
08-01-2009, 05:03 PM
When sheep saw him they would stampede
Knowing all too well how he'd proceed
They knitted their brows

Nymtoc
08-01-2009, 05:46 PM
When sheep saw him they would stampede
Knowing all too well how he'd proceed
They knitted their brows
As if they were sows

Nightfly
08-02-2009, 09:07 AM
When sheep saw him they would stampede
Knowing all too well how he'd proceed
They knitted their brows
As if they were sows
One said "This guy's nuts." All agreed.


When one sets to planning a caper

oneblindmouse
08-02-2009, 03:21 PM
When one sets to planning a caper
It's better to put pen to paper

flyingtart
08-02-2009, 05:00 PM
When one sets to planning a caper
It's better to put pen to paper
Do not overlook

archerjoe
08-02-2009, 06:54 PM
When one sets to planning a caper
It's better to put pen to paper
Do not overlook
While writing this book

Nymtoc
08-02-2009, 07:50 PM
When one sets to planning a caper
It's better to put pen to paper
Do not overlook
While writing this book
You may have to be an escaper.

They gave him a ten-gun salute

Woof
08-02-2009, 08:06 PM
They gave him a ten-gun salute
Which was a shock to the old galoot

Nymtoc
08-02-2009, 08:08 PM
They gave him a ten-gun salute
Which was a shock to the old galoot
Because, truth to tell,

Woof
08-02-2009, 08:22 PM
They gave him a ten-gun salute
Which was a shock to the old galoot
Because, truth to tell,
He was corrupt as hell

Nymtoc
08-02-2009, 08:36 PM
They gave him a ten-gun salute
Which was a shock to the old galoot
Because, truth to tell,
He was corrupt as hell
And he stashed all his bribes in his boot.

"A fine thing!" the headmaster said

Woof
08-02-2009, 08:42 PM
"A fine thing!" the headmaster said
"I caned that student, now he's dead"

Nymtoc
08-02-2009, 08:44 PM
"A fine thing!" the headmaster said
"I caned that student, now he's dead.
But I'm not to blame

Woof
08-02-2009, 08:51 PM
"A fine thing!" the headmaster said
"I caned that student, now he's dead.
But I'm not to blame,
He was already lame

Nymtoc
08-02-2009, 08:57 PM
"A fine thing!" the headmaster said
"I caned that student, now he's dead.
But I'm not to blame,
He was already lame
And he had the most unsightly head."

There once was a camel who swore

flyingtart
08-02-2009, 09:19 PM
There once was a camel who swore
The desert would hold him no more

archerjoe
08-03-2009, 03:40 AM
There once was a camel who swore
The desert would hold him no more
In the Amazon

Nightfly
08-03-2009, 08:10 AM
There once was a camel who swore
The desert would hold him no more
In the Amazon
He'd get his groove on

Matera the Mad
08-03-2009, 10:19 AM
There once was a camel who swore
The desert would hold him no more
In the Amazon
He'd get his groove on
But the dampness just made his hump sore

If world peace was sold by the bag

Nymtoc
08-03-2009, 11:14 AM
If world peace was sold by the bag
You can bet sales wouldn't sag

Matera the Mad
08-04-2009, 06:02 AM
If world peace was sold by the bag
You can bet sales wouldn't sag
So many would buy

archerjoe
08-04-2009, 06:07 AM
If world peace was sold by the bag
You can bet sales wouldn't sag
So many would buy
And no longer cry

flyingtart
08-04-2009, 09:53 PM
If world peace was sold by the bag
You can bet sales wouldn't sag
So many would buy
And no longer cry
Regardless of the old price tag


A friend of mine went for a punt

Stella Omega
08-04-2009, 11:08 PM
A friend of mine went for a punt
His first time in more than a munt'

archerjoe
08-05-2009, 06:39 AM
A friend of mine went for a punt
His first time in more than a munt'
He risked twenty quid

Matera the Mad
08-05-2009, 08:44 AM
A friend of mine went for a punt
His first time in more than a munt'
He risked twenty quid
Like a dumb greenass kid

flyingtart
08-05-2009, 12:04 PM
A friend of mine went for a punt
His first time in more than a munt'
He risked twenty quid
Like a dumb greenass kid
Now why pull such a stupid stunt?


My cousin from North Carolina

archerjoe
08-05-2009, 02:37 PM
My cousin from North Carolina
Tried to dig a hole clear to China

Nymtoc
08-05-2009, 03:02 PM
My cousin from North Carolina
Tried to dig a hole clear to China
He got halfway down

Woof
08-05-2009, 04:18 PM
My cousin from North Carolina
Tried to dig a hole clear to China
He got halfway down
When he met a clown

Nymtoc
08-05-2009, 04:24 PM
My cousin from North Carolina
Tried to dig a hole clear to China
He got halfway down
When he met a clown
Doing somersaults while singing "Dinah."

Two rascals went down to the beach

Woof
08-05-2009, 04:26 PM
Two rascals went down to the beach
Their mission: to collect every leech

flyingtart
08-05-2009, 10:13 PM
Two rascals went down to the beach
Their mission: to collect every leech
They found twenty-three

Matera the Mad
08-06-2009, 07:44 AM
Two rascals went down to the beach
Their mission: to collect every leech
They found twenty-three
On one rock just alee

slcboston
08-06-2009, 08:32 AM
Two rascals went down to the beach
Their mission: to collect every leech
They found twenty-three
On one rock just alee
And cooked them over a fire of beech


Four pigs went to market on Sunday

oneblindmouse
08-06-2009, 10:38 AM
Four pigs went to market on Sunday
determined to have them a fun day

Nymtoc
08-06-2009, 11:14 AM
Four pigs went to market on Sunday
determined to have them a fun day
But when they got there

Woof
08-06-2009, 03:30 PM
Four pigs went to market on Sunday
determined to have them a fun day
But when they got there
They encountered a hare

Nymtoc
08-06-2009, 04:24 PM
Four pigs went to market on Sunday
determined to have them a fun day
But when they got there
They encountered a hare
Who shot them dead, saying, "It's Gun Day."

A lady who lived in a trailer

Woof
08-06-2009, 04:45 PM
A lady who lived in a trailer
Just loved to read Norman Mailer

Nymtoc
08-06-2009, 04:50 PM
A lady who lived in a trailer
Just loved to read Norman Mailer
She thrilled at his prose

Woof
08-06-2009, 04:52 PM
A lady who lived in a trailer
Just loved to read Norman Mailer
She thrilled at his prose
And the way he'd expose

archerjoe
08-06-2009, 05:13 PM
A lady who lived in a trailer
Just loved to read Norman Mailer
She thrilled at his prose
And the way he'd expose
But she knew in the end he'd fail her

I want to trade-in my clunker

DuskKincaid
08-06-2009, 05:28 PM
I want to trade-in my clunker
But that means leaving my bunker

flyingtart
08-06-2009, 07:51 PM
I want to trade-in my clunker
But that means leaving my bunker
Instead of cash

Nymtoc
08-06-2009, 11:11 PM
I want to trade-in my clunker
But that means leaving my bunker
Instead of cash
I'll offer some hash

Nightfly
08-07-2009, 06:35 AM
I want to trade-in my clunker
But that means leaving my bunker
Instead of cash
I'll offer some hash
If they turn me down, guess I'll junk her


A magician I know who has stage fright

flyingtart
08-07-2009, 12:16 PM
A magician I know who has stage fright
Called a hypnotist to aid his plight

Lavern08
08-07-2009, 11:41 PM
A magician I know who has stage fright
Called a hypnotist to aid his plight
He would not fall asleep ...

Rulato
08-08-2009, 03:42 AM
A magician I know who has stage fright
Called a hypnotist to aid his plight
He would not fall asleep ...
Because he was afraid the creep

Matera the Mad
08-08-2009, 06:24 AM
A magician I know who has stage fright
Called a hypnotist to aid his plight
He would not fall asleep ...
Because he was afraid the creep
Would hold him in unfailing sight


In a MacDonalds burger one fateful day

archerjoe
08-09-2009, 02:01 AM
In a MacDonalds burger one fateful day
An alien pathogen came to stay

Stella Omega
08-09-2009, 02:58 AM
In a MacDonalds burger one fateful day
An alien pathogen came to stay
Its tentacles waved,

Matera the Mad
08-09-2009, 06:28 AM
In a MacDonalds burger one fateful day
An alien pathogen came to stay
Its tentacles waved,
And joyful it raved,

Kmcelhinny
08-09-2009, 07:16 AM
In a MacDonalds burger one fateful day
An alien pathogen came to stay
Its tentacles waved,
And joyful it raved,
At Burger king I could have it my way!

Happy feet do all of the dancing

Matera the Mad
08-09-2009, 07:44 AM
Happy feet do all of the dancing
When polka lovers are prancing

archerjoe
08-09-2009, 07:26 PM
Happy feet do all of the dancing
When polka lovers are prancing
Tubas go oompah

flyingtart
08-09-2009, 07:56 PM
Happy feet do all of the dancing
When polka lovers are prancing
Tubas go oompah
Leaving no room for

Nightfly
08-09-2009, 08:52 PM
Happy feet do all of the dancing
When polka lovers are prancing
Tubas go oompah
Leaving no room for
The accordion players romancing


There are UFC cats in my back yard

flyingtart
08-09-2009, 10:45 PM
There are UFC cats in my back yard
And dealing with them is so hard

Matera the Mad
08-10-2009, 06:56 AM
There are UFC cats in my back yard
And dealing with them is so hard
They go on all night

archerjoe
08-10-2009, 08:28 PM
There are UFC cats in my back yard
And dealing with them is so hard
They go on all night
Arranging each fight

flyingtart
08-10-2009, 09:25 PM
There are UFC cats in my back yard
And dealing with them is so hard
They go on all night
Arranging each fight
And usually catch me off guard.


She woke in the night in a sweat

archerjoe
08-11-2009, 06:53 AM
She woke in the night in a sweat
"The things I have done on a bet!"

Nightfly
08-12-2009, 05:58 AM
She woke in the night in a sweat
"The things I have done on a bet!"
She said "That's the last time...

Matera the Mad
08-12-2009, 10:00 AM
She woke in the night in a sweat
"The things I have done on a bet!"
She said "That's the last time...
Then she turned on a dime

Nymtoc
08-12-2009, 11:05 AM
She woke in the night in a sweat
"The things I have done on a bet!"
She said "That's the last time...
Then she turned on a dime
And used it to get out of debt.

A little lost lamb went astray

oneblindmouse
08-12-2009, 10:41 PM
A little lost lamb went astray
When searching for needles in hay

flyingtart
08-12-2009, 11:17 PM
A little lost lamb went astray
When searching for needles in hay
Then to his surprise

Matera the Mad
08-13-2009, 08:08 AM
A little lost lamb went astray
When searching for needles in hay
Then to his surprise
A wolf did arise

archerjoe
08-13-2009, 06:15 PM
A little lost lamb went astray
When searching for needles in hay
Then to his surprise
A wolf did arise
And they both danced the night away

The temperature hit ninety-three

flyingtart
08-13-2009, 06:26 PM
The temperature hit ninety-three
So I took a boat on the sea

Matera the Mad
08-14-2009, 11:23 AM
The temperature hit ninety-three
So I took a boat on the sea
The breeze cooled my face

flyingtart
08-14-2009, 08:33 PM
The temperature hit ninety-three
So I took a boat on the sea
The breeze cooled my face
And one other place

Nightfly
08-15-2009, 05:14 AM
The temperature hit ninety-three
So I took a boat on the sea
The breeze cooled my face
And one other place
The sun usually doesn't see.


I headed on down to the pub

Nymtoc
08-15-2009, 08:50 AM
I headed on down to the pub
To get me a beer and some grub

oneblindmouse
08-15-2009, 01:05 PM
I headed on down to the pub
To bet me a beer and some grub
A packet of crisps

Nightfly
08-15-2009, 09:03 PM
I headed on down to the pub
To get me a beer and some grub
A packet of crisps
My brew induced lisps

flyingtart
08-15-2009, 10:41 PM
I headed on down to the pub
To get me a beer and some grub
A packet of crisps
My brew induced lisps
Which made me sound mad, there's the rub.


An outrageous transvestite called Lil

archerjoe
08-15-2009, 11:00 PM
An outrageous transvestite called Lil
Lived two doors down from Buffalo Bill

Lavern08
08-16-2009, 03:39 AM
An outrageous transvestite called Lil
Lived two doors down from Buffalo Bill
Bill tried to avoid her

Matera the Mad
08-16-2009, 05:48 AM
An outrageous transvestite called Lil
Lived two doors down from Buffalo Bill
Bill tried to avoid her
All the time paranoider

Nightfly
08-16-2009, 06:02 AM
An outrageous transvestite called Lil
Lived two doors down from Buffalo Bill
Bill tried to avoid her
All the time paranoider
'Til the urge was just too strong to kill

A disgruntled plumber once said

archerjoe
08-16-2009, 06:12 AM
A disgruntled plumber once said
Bored housewives want me in their bed

Matera the Mad
08-16-2009, 08:23 AM
A disgruntled plumber once said
Bored housewives want me in their bed
He readied his tools

Lavern08
08-17-2009, 02:58 AM
A disgruntled plumber once said
Bored housewives want me in their bed
He readied his tools
And he followed the rules

Matera the Mad
08-17-2009, 08:30 AM
A disgruntled plumber once said
Bored housewives want me in their bed
He readied his tools
And he followed the rules
But a ticked husband still shot him dead

There was a young man in Milwaukee

Nymtoc
08-17-2009, 09:56 AM
There was a young man in Milwaukee
Who had a brand-new walkie-talkie

Matera the Mad
08-17-2009, 10:04 AM
There was a young man in Milwaukee
Who had a brand-new walkie-talkie
He carried it where

flyingtart
08-17-2009, 02:36 PM
There was a young man in Milwaukee
Who had a brand-new walkie-talkie
He carried it where
Nobody would dare

Nymtoc
08-17-2009, 02:51 PM
There was a young man in Milwaukee
Who had a brand-new walkie-talkie
He carried it where
Nobody would dare
Say that using it made him look gawky.

My granny earned money by sewing

flyingtart
08-17-2009, 05:36 PM
My granny earned money by sewing
Enough to buy shares in Boeing

Nightfly
08-18-2009, 04:25 AM
My granny earned money by sewing
Enough to buy shares in Boeing
Her forte was flags

Nymtoc
08-18-2009, 04:47 AM
My granny earned money by sewing
Enough to buy shares in Boeing
Her forte was flags
And dainty tea bags

Matera the Mad
08-18-2009, 07:33 AM
My granny earned money by sewing
Enough to buy shares in Boeing
Her forte was flags
And dainty tea bags
That kept leaves from in the cups going

How many the marvels of nature!

Nymtoc
08-18-2009, 08:38 AM
How many the marvels of nature!
Jus' look a' tha' beautiful crature!

Sir_Nigel
08-18-2009, 01:22 PM
How many the marvels of nature!
Jus' look a' tha' beautiful crature!
But Jaysus begorrah

Albedo of Zero
08-18-2009, 02:19 PM
How many the marvels of nature!
Jus' look a' tha' beautiful crature!
But Jaysus begorrah
What's that? A Menorah?

_________________

Nightfly
08-19-2009, 05:37 AM
How many the marvels of nature!
Jus' look a' tha' beautiful crature!
But Jaysus begorrah
What's that? A Menorah?
Please pahd'n my strange nomenclature.

Now Betty was one hot tomato

archerjoe
08-19-2009, 06:00 AM
Now Betty was one hot tomato
Watched by the FBI and NATO

Lavern08
08-19-2009, 06:01 AM
Now Betty was one hot tomato
Watched by the FBI and NATO
She worked at a bar

Nymtoc
08-19-2009, 06:23 AM
Now Betty was one hot tomato
Watched by the FBI and NATO
She worked at a bar
And drove a fast car

Matera the Mad
08-19-2009, 07:12 AM
Now Betty was one hot tomato
Watched by the FBI and NATO
She worked at a bar
And drove a fast car
But her boyfriend looked like a potato

Whenever I read aloud, lisping

Sir_Nigel
08-19-2009, 11:26 AM
Whenever I read aloud, lisping
(cos my dentures are constantly shifting)

Lavern08
08-19-2009, 07:19 PM
Whenever I read aloud, lisping
(cos my dentures are constantly shifting)
It sounds like I'm singing

flyingtart
08-19-2009, 10:11 PM
Whenever I read aloud, lisping
(cos my dentures are constantly shifting)
It sounds like I'm singing
And in danger of bringing

Nightfly
08-20-2009, 03:35 AM
Whenever I read aloud, lisping
(cos my dentures are constantly shifting)
It sounds like I'm singing
And in danger of bringing
Drew Barrymore out for assisting


So now Favre plays for Minnesota

archerjoe
08-20-2009, 04:06 AM
So now Favre plays for Minnesota
Some think it's his musical coda

Matera the Mad
08-20-2009, 09:29 AM
So now Favre plays for Minnesota
Some think it's his musical coda
Well, a coda's a tail

flyingtart
08-20-2009, 12:26 PM
So now Favre plays for Minnesota
Some think it's his musical coda
Well, a coda's a tail
So I can't see it fail

Lavern08
08-20-2009, 08:00 PM
So now Favre plays for Minnesota
Some think it's his musical coda
Well, a coda's a tail
So I can't see it fail
'Cause he's reached his retirement quota

I'd just started making a pie

Matera the Mad
08-21-2009, 09:07 AM
I'd just started making a pie
When I heard a most pitiful cry

poetinahat
08-21-2009, 09:26 AM
I'd just started making a pie
When I heard a most pitiful cry
And there, in the oven,

Sir_Nigel
08-21-2009, 11:33 AM
I'd just started making a pie
When I heard a most pitiful cry
And there, in the oven
was the girl I’d bin lovin’

flyingtart
08-21-2009, 05:26 PM
I'd just started making a pie
When I heard a most pitiful cry
And there, in the oven
was the girl I’d bin lovin’
"Would you like some dinner?" Said I.


A left-handed painter named Clare

Lavern08
08-21-2009, 06:46 PM
A left-handed painter named Clare
Exclaimed "I have nothing to wear"

archerjoe
08-21-2009, 09:55 PM
A left-handed painter named Clare
Exclaimed "I have nothing to wear"
Not that it matters

Lavern08
08-21-2009, 11:36 PM
A left-handed painter named Clare
Exclaimed "I have nothing to wear"
Not that it matters
Except that her hatters

flyingtart
08-22-2009, 12:35 PM
A left-handed painter named Clare
Exclaimed "I have nothing to wear"
Not that it matters
Except that her hatters
Made her a top hat for a dare.


The beer-swilling Bishop of York

Matera the Mad
08-22-2009, 03:55 PM
The beer-swilling Bishop of York
Drank ten foaming mugs with roast pork

archerjoe
08-22-2009, 06:17 PM
The beer-swilling Bishop of York
Drank ten foaming mugs with roast pork
He passed the roast beef

trocadero
08-22-2009, 06:45 PM
The beer-swilling Bishop of York
Drank ten foaming mugs with roast pork
He passed the roast beef
Midst intestinal grief

Nymtoc
08-22-2009, 07:40 PM
The beer-swilling Bishop of York
Drank ten foaming mugs with roast pork
He passed the roast beef
Midst intestinal grief
And calamitous digestive torque.

"Come live with me, Babe," said the goon

Lavern08
08-22-2009, 10:08 PM
"Come live with me, Babe," said the goon
We'll dance by the light of the moon

Albedo of Zero
08-23-2009, 03:39 AM
"Come live with me, Babe," said the goon
We'll dance by the light of the moon
but if it' eclipsing

Nightfly
08-23-2009, 06:35 AM
"Come live with me Babe," said the goon
We'll dance by the light of the moon
But if it' eclipsing
You'll see me lip synching

Matera the Mad
08-23-2009, 08:17 AM
"Come live with me Babe," said the goon
We'll dance by the light of the moon
But if it's eclipsing
You'll see me lip synching
But maybe not until noon

If I had my druthers, I'd be

archerjoe
08-23-2009, 11:17 PM
If I had my druthers, I'd be
On a luxury cruise at sea

Matera the Mad
08-24-2009, 10:48 AM
If I had my druthers, I'd be
On a luxury cruise at sea
But I'm sitting here

flyingtart
08-24-2009, 12:03 PM
If I had my druthers, I'd be
On a luxury cruise at sea
But I'm sitting here
Wasting time I fear

Sir_Nigel
08-24-2009, 03:03 PM
If I had my druthers, I'd be
On a luxury cruise at sea
But I'm sitting here
Wasting time I fear
dunking stale Custard Creams in my tea



He was struck by a blow from behind

Lavern08
08-24-2009, 08:58 PM
He was struck by a blow from behind
By a bloke that nobody could find

sommemi
08-24-2009, 09:01 PM
He was struck by a blow from behind,
By a bloke that nobody could find,
Blood spilled from his head,

Lavern08
08-24-2009, 09:14 PM
He was struck by a blow from behind,
By a bloke that nobody could find,
Blood spilled from his head,
They thought he was dead

Nymtoc
08-25-2009, 12:45 AM
He was struck by a blow from behind,
By a bloke that nobody could find,
Blood spilled from his head,
They thought he was dead
But he was just deaf, dumb and blind.

If nobody knew how to write

Sir_Nigel
08-25-2009, 11:20 AM
If nobody knew how to write
there’d be no bloody need for this site

flyingtart
08-25-2009, 02:18 PM
If nobody knew how to write
there’d be no bloody need for this site
Instead we'd waste time

Matera the Mad
08-25-2009, 02:57 PM
If nobody knew how to write
there’d be no bloody need for this site
Instead we'd waste time
Shouting insults in rhyme

flyingtart
08-25-2009, 03:32 PM
If nobody knew how to write
there’d be no bloody need for this site
Instead we'd waste time
Shouting insults in rhyme
Then later go out and get tight.


A maneating shark from the south

Sir_Nigel
08-25-2009, 04:01 PM
A maneating shark from the south
whilst munching a fat bloke from Louth

talkwrite
08-26-2009, 12:48 AM
A maneating shark from the south
whilst munching a fat bloke from Louth
broke an incisor

archerjoe
08-26-2009, 02:45 AM
A maneating shark from the south
whilst munching a fat bloke from Louth
broke an incisor
spewed like a geyser

Nightfly
08-26-2009, 09:13 AM
A maneating shark from the south
whilst munching a fat bloke from Louth
broke an incisor
spewed like a geyser
said "Yawl, this old boy broke my mouth."


I'm streaking, just minding my... business

Matera the Mad
08-26-2009, 09:54 AM
I'm streaking, just minding my... business
But some damnfool upholder of niceness

archerjoe
08-26-2009, 05:47 PM
I'm streaking, just minding my... business
But some damnfool upholder of niceness
Interrupts my run

flyingtart
08-26-2009, 11:57 PM
I'm streaking, just minding my... business
But some damnfool upholder of niceness
Interrupts my run
And spoils the fun

Lavern08
08-27-2009, 12:29 AM
I'm streaking, just minding my... business
But some damnfool upholder of niceness
Interrupts my run
And spoils the fun
Thereby creating a crisis

What? It's the best I could do....I mean, who uses business in a limerick?


I thought that I'd make a good writer...[and thus starts the new limerick]

Albedo of Zero
08-27-2009, 03:49 AM
He was struck by a blow from behind
and was told he was cutting in line

Matera the Mad
08-27-2009, 08:40 AM
He was struck by a blow from behind
And was told he was cutting in line
Enraged and confused

Sir_Nigel
08-27-2009, 12:00 PM
He was struck by a blow from behind
And was told he was cutting in line
Enraged and confused
and horribly bruised

flyingtart
08-27-2009, 02:42 PM
He was struck by a blow from behind
And was told he was cutting in line
Enraged and confused
and horribly bruised
He nearly went out of his mind.

(Now resurrecting lavern08's first line)
I thought that I'd make a good writer

Sir_Nigel
08-27-2009, 03:50 PM
I thought that I'd make a good writer
But I need to get my lines a little bit tighter

Lavern08
08-27-2009, 07:41 PM
I thought that I'd make a good writer
But I need to get my lines a little bit tighter
I went to AW's forum

sommemi
08-27-2009, 08:07 PM
forum? are you serious??? wow.... ok...


I thought that I'd make a good writer
But I need to get my lines a little bit tighter
I went to AW's forum
and broke their decorum...

Lavern08
08-27-2009, 08:11 PM
I thought that I'd make a good writer
But I need to get my lines a little bit tighter
I went to AW's forum
and broke their decorum...
I made it my business to bore 'em

sommemi
08-28-2009, 12:16 AM
There once was a man from....

ahem. I mean....

I once put a mouse in my pocket, ...

rhymegirl
08-28-2009, 01:36 AM
I once put a mouse in my pocket,
And a finger inside a light socket,

Lavern08
08-28-2009, 02:35 AM
I once put a mouse in my pocket,
And a finger inside a light socket,
The mouse started fryin'

Sir_Nigel
08-28-2009, 12:47 PM
I once put a mouse in my pocket,
And a finger inside a light socket,
The mouse started fryin',
yelled “Help me, I’m dyin’!“

flyingtart
08-28-2009, 02:23 PM
I once put a mouse in my pocket,
And a finger inside a light socket,
The mouse started fryin',
yelled “Help me, I’m dyin’!“
Then shot into space like a rocket.


One morning while walking my dog

Lavern08
08-28-2009, 06:22 PM
One morning while walking my dog
I got lost in the midst of some fog

talkwrite
08-28-2009, 08:39 PM
One morning while walking my dog
I got lost in the midst of some fog
I heard a sweet song

Albedo of Zero
08-29-2009, 05:02 AM
One morning while walking my dog
I got lost in the midst of some fog
I heard a sweet song
in a tune that was wrong

Matera the Mad
08-29-2009, 08:01 AM
One morning while walking my dog
I got lost in the midst of some fog
I heard a sweet song
in a tune that was wrong
And my dog and I fell in a bog

As the moon rose full and shone high

Nightfly
08-29-2009, 08:51 AM
As the moon rose full and shone high
There appeared this excitable guy

archerjoe
08-29-2009, 11:26 AM
As the moon rose full and shone high
There appeared this excitable guy
He was sprouting hair

flyingtart
08-29-2009, 12:49 PM
As the moon rose full and shone high
There appeared this excitable guy
He was sprouting hair
From I can't say where

Lavern08
08-29-2009, 05:56 PM
As the moon rose full and shone high
There appeared this excitable guy
He was sprouting hair
From I can't say where
But I fled without saying goodbye


I picked up a dime from the ground

oneblindmouse
08-29-2009, 06:18 PM
I picked up a dime from the ground
Thinking that it was a pound

archerjoe
08-29-2009, 07:19 PM
I picked up a dime from the ground
Thinking that it was a pound
It was counterfeit

Albedo of Zero
08-30-2009, 12:50 PM
I picked up a dime from the ground
Thinking that it was a pound
It was counterfeit
but was good when I bit

flyingtart
08-30-2009, 01:19 PM
I picked up a dime from the ground
Thinking that it was a pound
It was counterfeit
but was good when I bit
For chocolate inside's what I found.


A baker who lived on the coast

Lavern08
08-30-2009, 04:07 PM
A baker who lived on the coast
Specialized in making weird toast

archerjoe
08-30-2009, 09:53 PM
A baker who lived on the coast
Specialized in making weird toast
He didn't use bread

Lavern08
08-31-2009, 12:20 AM
A baker who lived on the coast
Specialized in making weird toast
He didn't use bread
But what he used instead

Nightfly
08-31-2009, 02:00 AM
A baker who lived on the coast
Specialized in making weird toast
He didn't use bread
But what he used instead
Well, it's not soylent green... But almost.


"Look, the pope - Hey there pope, how are you?"

Matera the Mad
08-31-2009, 08:50 AM
"Look, the pope - Hey there pope, how are you?"
"Why, bless you for asking--I'm blue"

flyingtart
08-31-2009, 02:41 PM
"Look, the pope - Hey there pope, how are you?"
"Why, bless you for asking--I'm blue
I just got a text

Lavern08
08-31-2009, 05:47 PM
"Look, the pope - Hey there pope, how are you?"
"Why, bless you for asking--I'm blue
I just got a text
And I wondered what's next

talkwrite
08-31-2009, 06:47 PM
"Look, the pope - Hey there pope, how are you?"
"Why, bless you for asking--I'm blue
I just got a text
And I wondered what's next
I just don't know how this works, do you?

A mayor of a small river town

Nymtoc
08-31-2009, 08:54 PM
A mayor of a small river town
Ran his staff meetings dressed as a clown

flyingtart
08-31-2009, 09:41 PM
A mayor of a small river town
Ran his staff meetings dressed as a clown
With a red shiny nose

Lavern08
08-31-2009, 09:54 PM
A mayor of a small river town
Ran his staff meetings dressed as a clown
With a red shiny nose
And some plaid lederhose

sommemi
08-31-2009, 11:43 PM
A mayor of a small river town
Ran his staff meetings dressed as a clown
With a red shiny nose
And some plaid lederhose
His townspeople never wore frowns!

In the mail I received a red letter,

Lavern08
09-01-2009, 12:00 AM
In the mail I received a red letter,
I felt bad, but it made me feel better

sommemi
09-01-2009, 12:02 AM
In the mail I received a red letter,
I felt bad, but it made me feel better,
For what was inside

Lavern08
09-01-2009, 12:06 AM
In the mail I received a red letter,
I felt bad, but it made me feel better,
For what was inside
Restored my wounded pride

sommemi
09-01-2009, 12:12 AM
In the mail I received a red letter,
I felt bad, but it made me feel better,
For what was inside
Restored my wounded pride
and admittedly made me a bit wetter.

The sign on the door said "Men only"...

Nymtoc
09-01-2009, 02:17 AM
The sign on the door said "Men only"...
But Lola knew men can get lonely

Nightfly
09-01-2009, 03:29 AM
The sign on the door said "Men only"...
But Lola knew men can get lonely
She sauntered on in

archerjoe
09-01-2009, 05:27 AM
The sign on the door said "Men only"...
But Lola knew men can get lonely
She sauntered on in
And said with a grin

Matera the Mad
09-01-2009, 06:48 AM
The sign on the door said "Men only"...
But Lola knew men can get lonely
She sauntered on in
And said with a grin
"Would you-all like a ride on my pony?"

When Shakespeare set out to write Hamlet

Sir_Nigel
09-01-2009, 12:48 PM
When Shakespeare set out to write Hamlet
- a pretty good show but no ‘Spamalot’

Matera the Mad
09-02-2009, 09:18 AM
When Shakespeare set out to write Hamlet
- a pretty good show but no ‘Spamalot’
He first dipped his pen

Nymtoc
09-02-2009, 12:33 PM
When Shakespeare set out to write Hamlet
- a pretty good show but no ‘Spamalot’
He first dipped his pen
In Malmsey, and then

flyingtart
09-02-2009, 02:23 PM
When Shakespeare set out to write Hamlet
- a pretty good show but no ‘Spamalot’
He first dipped his pen
In Malmsey, and then
Got writers' block and said "Damn" a lot!


When plotting a novel I find

archerjoe
09-02-2009, 03:45 PM
When plotting a novel I find
My muse is lazy and unkind

Lavern08
09-02-2009, 07:16 PM
When plotting a novel I find
My muse is lazy and unkind
So I get up and go for a ride

sommemi
09-03-2009, 05:41 PM
When plotting a novel I find
My muse is lazy and unkind
So I (get up and) go for a ride
with my dog by my side

flyingtart
09-03-2009, 09:47 PM
When plotting a novel I find
My muse is lazy and unkind
So I (get up and) go for a ride
with my dog by my side
And sort it all out in my mind.


A Bishop who had a strange vice

sommemi
09-04-2009, 12:43 AM
A Bishop who had a strange vice
Often filled his pockets with mice

talkwrite
09-04-2009, 04:10 AM
A Bishop who had a strange vice
Often filled his pockets with mice
They jumbled about

archerjoe
09-04-2009, 04:31 AM
A Bishop who had a strange vice
Often filled his pockets with mice
They jumbled about
He would rant and shout

Sir_Nigel
09-04-2009, 12:10 PM
A Bishop who had a strange vice
Often filled his pockets with mice
They jumbled about
He would rant and shout
yelling ‘Ooh yeah baby that’s nice’



Two people with nothing to do

flyingtart
09-04-2009, 03:51 PM
Two people with nothing to do
For a laugh put a bird in their stew

Nymtoc
09-04-2009, 04:07 PM
Two people with nothing to do
For a laugh put a bird in their stew
With feathers and beak

Sir_Nigel
09-04-2009, 04:23 PM
Two people with nothing to do
For a laugh put a bird in their stew
With feathers and beak
So they chewed for a week

flyingtart
09-04-2009, 10:44 PM
Two people with nothing to do
For a laugh put a bird in their stew
With feathers and beak
So they chewed for a week
And were left with a big pot of goo.


A lass from my youth called Leigh Hunt

sommemi
09-04-2009, 10:59 PM
you're joking, right??? lmao ok ok ok.... let's see if I can do this WITHOUT cahnneling Andrew Dice Clay...

A lass from my youth called Leigh Hunt
spilled a chocolate shake down her front

Nightfly
09-05-2009, 12:15 AM
A lass from my youth called Leigh Hunt
Spilled a chocolate shake down her front
The drink was quite chilly

flyingtart
09-06-2009, 09:50 PM
A lass from my youth called Leigh Hunt
Spilled a chocolate shake down her front
The drink was quite chilly
And frosted the filly

Matera the Mad
09-07-2009, 05:48 AM
A lass from my youth called Leigh Hunt
Spilled a chocolate shake down her front
The drink was quite chilly
And frosted the filly
Who was so shocked she hardly could grunt

In days of yore knights rescued maidens

Sir_Nigel
09-07-2009, 12:24 PM
In days of yore knights rescued maidens
from dragons - yep those guys were brave ‘uns

Nymtoc
09-07-2009, 05:26 PM
In days of yore knights rescued maidens
from dragons - yep those guys were brave ‘uns
Today, though, most blokes

Sir_Nigel
09-07-2009, 05:34 PM
In days of yore knights rescued maidens
from dragons - yep those guys were brave ‘uns
Today, though, most blokes
seek less dangerous pokes

archerjoe
09-07-2009, 05:51 PM
In days of yore knights rescued maidens
from dragons - yep those guys were brave ‘uns
Today, though, most blokes
seek less dangerous pokes
But tweet they're on dangerous raidin's

Kent was addicted to Twitter

flyingtart
09-07-2009, 06:55 PM
Kent was addicted to Twitter
Which made his girlfriend very bitter

SanStormin
09-07-2009, 11:51 PM
Kent was addicted to Twitter
Which made his girlfriend very bitter

She decided to take action

Matera the Mad
09-08-2009, 09:48 AM
Kent was addicted to Twitter
Which made his girlfriend very bitter
She decided to take action
And started a faction


-----------------------------
we scans better when we counts on our fingers :tongue

flyingtart
09-08-2009, 03:42 PM
Kent was addicted to Twitter
Which made his girlfriend very bitter
She decided to take action
And started a faction
Assisted by Melvin, the fitter.


In the year nineteen seventy-eight

Sir_Nigel
09-08-2009, 04:20 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
when Elton John was still straight

archerjoe
09-09-2009, 03:35 AM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
when Elton John was still straight
wearing large glasses

Matera the Mad
09-09-2009, 08:22 AM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
when Elton John was still straight
wearing large glasses
and admiring tight ---es

Sir_Nigel
09-09-2009, 06:26 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
when Elton John was still straight
wearing large glasses
and admiring tight ---es
I was 17 stone overweight!


‘Forsooth!’ cried the short-tempered knave

Lavern08
09-09-2009, 07:09 PM
‘Forsooth!’ cried the short-tempered knave
I just fell in someone's open grave

SanStormin
09-09-2009, 08:57 PM
‘Forsooth!’ cried the short-tempered knave
I just fell in someone's open grave
Twas the fault of a wicket spirit

flyingtart
09-09-2009, 09:47 PM
‘Forsooth!’ cried the short-tempered knave
I just fell in someone's open grave
Twas the fault of a (wicket) spirit
Who rose form under it

Nymtoc
09-09-2009, 11:06 PM
‘Forsooth!’ cried the short-tempered knave
I just fell in someone's open grave
Twas the fault of a (wicket) spirit
Who rose from under it
Giving me quite a close shave.

"I haven't been drinking," Sam lied

Lavern08
09-09-2009, 11:40 PM
"I haven't been drinking," Sam lied
But he couldn't stand up, though he tried

archerjoe
09-10-2009, 05:19 AM
"I haven't been drinking," Sam lied
But he couldn't stand up, though he tried
All I had was some gin

Sir_Nigel
09-10-2009, 01:27 PM
"I haven't been drinking," Sam lied
But he couldn't stand up, though he tried
“All I had was some gin
with some absinthe mixed in”

flyingtart
09-10-2009, 02:49 PM
"I haven't been drinking," Sam lied
But he couldn't stand up, though he tried
“All I had was some gin
with some absinthe mixed in.
Now I fear that my brain cells are fried!"


A foul-mouthed pig farmer from Maine

ejaycee
09-10-2009, 03:55 PM
A foul-mouthed pig farmer from Maine
Declared that he wasn't to blame

Sir_Nigel
09-10-2009, 04:01 PM
A foul-mouthed pig farmer from Maine
Declared that he wasn't to blame
for that ****ing old sow

flyingtart
09-10-2009, 04:52 PM
A foul-mouthed pig farmer from Maine
Declared that he wasn't to blame
for that ****ing old sow
Who had ******ed her brow

Sir_Nigel
09-10-2009, 05:03 PM
A foul-mouthed pig farmer from Maine
Declared that he wasn't to blame
for that ****ing old sow
Who had ******ed her brow
- in his holiday postcard from Spain



The matador shouted ‘Ole!’

Lavern08
09-10-2009, 05:21 PM
The matador shouted ‘Ole!’
As the bull he proceeded to slay

flyingtart
09-10-2009, 06:48 PM
The matador shouted ‘Ole!’
As the bull he proceeded to slay
But the crowd looked askance

Lavern08
09-10-2009, 08:13 PM
The matador shouted ‘Ole!’
As the bull he proceeded to slay
But the crowd looked askance
When they started to dance

ejaycee
09-11-2009, 12:12 PM
The matador shouted ‘Ole!’
As the bull he proceeded to slay
But the crowd looked askance
When they started to dance
And the bull the flute started to play.

A clever young bloke from Australia,

flyingtart
09-11-2009, 12:24 PM
A clever young bloke from Australia,
Was starting to feel like a failure