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Woof
06-01-2009, 04:13 PM
A young expert in versification
for a rhyme searched in sheer desperation
She scoured the web,
Found no rhyme for "cubeb,"
So she asked her brainy Alsatian.


A flea who worked out at the gym

Nymtoc
06-01-2009, 08:58 PM
A flea who worked out at the gym
Found barbells especially grim

Woof
06-01-2009, 09:01 PM
A flea who worked out at the gym
Found barbells especially grim
He preferred to run laps

archerjoe
06-01-2009, 09:09 PM
A flea who worked out at the gym
Found barbells especially grim
He preferred to run laps
In Russian fur caps

Woof
06-01-2009, 09:21 PM
A flea who worked out at the gym
Found barbells especially grim
He preferred to run laps
In Russian fur caps
While singing a religious hymn.


A writer who channeled the bard

Rebekah7
06-02-2009, 12:47 AM
A writer who channeled the bard
Hit the bottle too hard

archerjoe
06-02-2009, 04:15 AM
A writer who channeled the bard
Hit the bottle too hard
He had double vision

Matera the Mad
06-02-2009, 06:12 AM
A writer who channeled the bard
Hit the bottle too hard
He had double vision
Which caused some elision

Sir_Nigel
06-02-2009, 04:10 PM
A writer who channelled the bard
Hit the bottle too hard
He had double vision
Which caused some elision
In the absence of words he la la-d.


‘Ho hum’ said the fishmonger’s wife

Woof
06-02-2009, 04:19 PM
‘Ho hum’ said the fishmonger’s wife
(she'd been carping the whole of her life)

flyingtart
06-02-2009, 07:00 PM
‘Ho hum’ said the fishmonger’s wife
(she'd been carping the whole of her life)
And then the old trout

oneblindmouse
06-02-2009, 11:29 PM
'Ho hum' said the fishmonger's wife
(she'd been carping the whole of her life)
And then the old trout
drank a bottle of stout

Pthom
06-03-2009, 12:39 AM
'Ho hum' said the fishmonger's wife
(she'd been carping the whole of her life)
And then the old trout
drank a bottle of stout
Through the holes of an old wooden fife.

When it's June and it's raining and cold,

oneblindmouse
06-03-2009, 01:22 AM
When it's June and it's raining and cold
those who go for a swim must be bold

talkwrite
06-03-2009, 01:25 AM
When it's June and it's raining and cold
those who go for a swim must be bold
Unless you're down south

vox
06-03-2009, 01:30 AM
When it's June and it's raining and cold
those who go for a swim must be bold
Unless you're down south
where just with your mouth

talkwrite
06-03-2009, 01:35 AM
When it's June and it's raining and cold
those who go for a swim must be bold
Unless you're down south
where just with your mouth
You are just as cool as you are told

Once a King wished for a mentor

Nymtoc
06-03-2009, 02:51 AM
Once a King wished for a mentor,
A wise teacher, not a tormentor,

Matera the Mad
06-03-2009, 06:35 AM
Once a King wished for a mentor,
A wise teacher, not a tormentor,
But all his wise men

Nymtoc
06-03-2009, 07:49 AM
Once a King wished for a mentor,
A wise teacher, not a tormentor,
But all his wise men
Had been sent to the pen

Matera the Mad
06-03-2009, 09:47 AM
Once a King wished for a mentor,
A wise teacher, not a tormentor,
But all his wise men
Had been sent to the pen
And the Prime Minister's an impostor!

His Majesty aired advertisements

flyingtart
06-03-2009, 04:55 PM
His Majesty aired advertisements
For holidays staying in big tents

Rebekah7
06-04-2009, 02:04 AM
His Majesty aired advertisements
For holidays staying in big tents
The price wasn't too high

StephanieFox
06-04-2009, 03:51 AM
His Majesty aired advertisements
For holidays staying in big tents
The price wasn't too high
And if you aren't shy

Matera the Mad
06-04-2009, 07:04 AM
His Majesty aired advertisements
For holidays staying in big tents
The price wasn't too high
And if you aren't shy
You could enjoy royal amusements.


If a man had a terrible life

Nymtoc
06-04-2009, 08:44 AM
If a man had a terrible life,
A life that was rife with pure strife,

archerjoe
06-04-2009, 10:55 AM
If a man had a terrible life,
A life that was rife with pure strife,
He could watch MTV

vox
06-04-2009, 03:54 PM
If a man had a terrible life,
A life that was rife with pure strife,
He could watch MTV
And ne'er fail to see

Sir_Nigel
06-04-2009, 04:00 PM
If a man had a terrible life,
A life that was rife with pure strife,
He could watch MTV
And ne'er fail to see
his terrible witch of a wife


As he jumped up and down on the bed

flyingtart
06-04-2009, 05:28 PM
As he jumped up and down on the bed
He turned to his mistress and said

Nymtoc
06-05-2009, 01:50 AM
As he jumped up and down on the bed
He turned to his mistress and said,
"I think we're in luck!

Matera the Mad
06-05-2009, 06:13 AM
As he jumped up and down on the bed
He turned to his mistress and said,
"I think we're in luck!
The feathers are duck,

Sir_Nigel
06-05-2009, 11:36 AM
As he jumped up and down on the bed
He turned to his mistress and said,
"I think we're in luck!
The feathers are duck.”
But his mistress was already dead.


The outlook is certainly bleak

vox
06-05-2009, 03:54 PM
The outlook is certainly bleak
When you've a nail stuck right through your beak.

Woof
06-05-2009, 04:11 PM
The outlook is certainly bleak
When you've a nail stuck right through your beak.
You're all in a flap

donroc
06-05-2009, 07:10 PM
The outlook is certainly bleak
When you've a nail stuck right through your beak.
You're all in a flap
'Cause they've shut your big yap

Woof
06-05-2009, 09:09 PM
The outlook is certainly bleak
When you've a nail stuck right through your beak.
You're all in a flap
'Cause they've shut your big yap
And you run off to take a big leak.


"I shall slash my wrists with a pen"

Nymtoc
06-05-2009, 09:31 PM
"I shall slash my wrists with a pen"
Quoth the poet again and again

Matera the Mad
06-06-2009, 08:00 AM
"I shall slash my wrists with a pen"
Quoth the poet again and again
But he was ignored

Kmcelhinny
06-09-2009, 01:19 AM
"I shall slash my wrists with a pen"
Quoth the poet again and again
But he was ignored
cause the people were bored

Matera the Mad
06-09-2009, 08:29 AM
"I shall slash my wrists with a pen"
Quoth the poet again and again
But he was ignored
cause the people were bored
With his whining self-touting paean


"Oh why," quoth the languishing maiden,

Sir_Nigel
06-09-2009, 02:01 PM
“Oh why," quoth the languishing maiden,
“is your pocket so bulgingly laden”

flyingtart
06-09-2009, 03:43 PM
“Oh why," quoth the languishing maiden,
“is your pocket so bulgingly laden?”
I say with a smile

Sir_Nigel
06-09-2009, 03:59 PM
“Oh why," quoth the languishing maiden,
“is your pocket so bulgingly laden?”
I say with a smile
‘Play your cards right and I’ll….

Nymtoc
06-09-2009, 08:12 PM
“Oh why," quoth the languishing maiden,
“is your pocket so bulgingly laden?”
I say with a smile
"Play your cards right and I’ll….
set the scene with a rapturous fade-in."

:e2brows:

On a cold day in June, Mr. Bumpit

vox
06-09-2009, 08:24 PM
On a cold day in June, Mr. Bumpit
Discovered he'd married a strumpet

ad_lucem
06-09-2009, 08:24 PM
On a cold day in June, Mr. Bumpit
Discovered he'd married a strumpet
but he didn't mind

flyingtart
06-09-2009, 10:13 PM
On a cold day in June, Mr. Bumpit
Discovered he'd married a strumpet
but he didn't mind
for her manner was kind

Kmcelhinny
06-10-2009, 06:46 AM
On a cold day in June, Mr. Bumpit
Discovered he'd married a strumpet
but he didn't mind
for her manner was kind
and all she did was bonk it


OHHHH the sailor was a shining lad

Matera the Mad
06-10-2009, 06:54 AM
OHHHH the sailor was a shining lad
AAAND sixteen pence was all he had

Kmcelhinny
06-10-2009, 07:04 AM
OHHHH the sailor was a shining lad
AAAND sixteen pence was all he had
HEEEE bought all the spinach

Matera the Mad
06-10-2009, 07:28 AM
OHHHH the sailor was a shining lad
AAAND sixteen pence was all he had
HEEEE bought all the spinach
OHHH no cried his stomach

Sir_Nigel
06-10-2009, 12:26 PM
OHHHH the sailor was a shining lad
AAAND sixteen pence was all he had
HEEEE bought all the spinach
OHHH no cried his stomach
-That rhyme was remarkably bad


He took a firm hold of the bulwarks

archerjoe
06-10-2009, 05:23 PM
He took a firm hold of the bulwarks
And eyed a moat full of tiger sharks

vox
06-10-2009, 05:31 PM
He took a firm hold of the bulwarks
And eyed a moat full of tiger sharks
With a prayer he did leap

Woof
06-10-2009, 06:39 PM
He took a firm hold of the bulwarks
And eyed a moat full of tiger sharks
With a prayer he did leap
But tripped on a sheep

Kmcelhinny
06-11-2009, 02:09 AM
He took a firm hold of the bulwarks
And eyed a moat full of tiger sharks
With a prayer he did leap
But tripped on a sheep
and landed with bloody marks

When we would go sailing

Matera the Mad
06-11-2009, 07:17 AM
When we would go sailing
We ended up bailing

flyingtart
06-14-2009, 04:00 PM
(I've taken the liberty of editing to get the metre right)

When often times we would go sailing
We often times ended up bailing
Because the great swell

Matera the Mad
06-15-2009, 05:51 AM
When often times we would go sailing
We often times ended up bailing
Because the great swell
Made us wallow like hell

archerjoe
06-15-2009, 06:00 AM
When often times we would go sailing
We often times ended up bailing
Because the great swell
Made us wallow like hell
I often times puked over the railing

Some writers are more like smart alecks

Matera the Mad
06-15-2009, 06:05 AM
Some writers are more like smart alecks
Whose sentences are proper trainwrecks

flyingtart
06-15-2009, 03:50 PM
Some writers are more like smart alecks
Whose sentences are proper trainwrecks
And their paragraphs

archerjoe
06-15-2009, 05:35 PM
Some writers are more like smart alecks
Whose sentences are proper trainwrecks
And their paragraphs
Stretch out like giraffes

Matera the Mad
06-16-2009, 07:09 AM
Some writers are more like smart alecks
Whose sentences are proper trainwrecks
And their paragraphs
Stretch out like giraffes
Until they are liable to break their necks


In a fit of pretentious verbosity

Nymtoc
06-16-2009, 10:05 AM
In a fit of pretentious verbosity
The writer produced an atrocity

Sir_Nigel
06-16-2009, 12:40 PM
In a fit of pretentious verbosity
The writer produced an atrocity
“I am the very essence of erudititious perspicacity!” he roared

donroc
06-16-2009, 03:44 PM
In a fit of pretentious verbosity
The writer produced an atrocity
“I am the very essence of erudititious perspicacity!” he roared
So prolix with lack of veracity

flyingtart
06-16-2009, 07:35 PM
In a fit of pretentious verbosity
The writer produced an atrocity
“I am the very essence of erudititious perspicacity!” he roared
So prolix with lack of veracity
Now here I must end this monstrosity!


A coke-snorting dancer named Clive

Nymtoc
06-16-2009, 09:56 PM
A coke-snorting dancer named Clive
Said, "Blow is what keeps me alive!"

Matera the Mad
06-17-2009, 08:48 AM
A coke-snorting dancer named Clive
Said, "Blow is what keeps me alive!"
He tangoed and tapped

StephanieFox
06-17-2009, 08:53 AM
A coke-snorting dancer named Clive
Said, "Blow is what keeps me alive!"
He tangoed and tapped
Till he crashed. Then he napped.

Matera the Mad
06-17-2009, 09:14 AM
A coke-snorting dancer named Clive
Said, "Blow is what keeps me alive!"
He tangoed and tapped
Till he crashed. Then he napped.
But his dreams were all boogie and jive.


A paranoid schizo sky diver

Sir_Nigel
06-17-2009, 12:24 PM
A paranoid schizo sky diver
leapt out dressed as Lady Godiva

archerjoe
06-17-2009, 05:02 PM
A paranoid schizo sky diver
leapt out dressed as Lady Godiva
She pulled the rip cord

flyingtart
06-17-2009, 05:52 PM
A paranoid schizo sky diver
leapt out dressed as Lady Godiva
She pulled the rip cord
On her authentic sword

Sir_Nigel
06-17-2009, 06:02 PM
A paranoid schizo sky diver
leapt out dressed as Lady Godiva
She pulled the rip cord
On her authentic sword
And shouted ‘I’m yours for a fiver!!!!’



A poet in a pink cravat

vox
06-17-2009, 06:33 PM
A poet in a pink cravat
Was hooked on the Cat in the Hat

Woof
06-17-2009, 07:21 PM
A poet in a pink cravat
Was hooked on the Cat in the Hat
His chapeau was striped

Matera the Mad
06-18-2009, 09:10 AM
A poet in a pink cravat
Was hooked on the Cat in the Hat
His chapeau was striped
And while verses he typed

Nymtoc
06-18-2009, 10:35 AM
A poet in a pink cravat
Was hooked on the Cat in the Hat
His chapeau was striped
And while verses he typed
On a big red-striped cushion he sat.

Miranda wove baskets of wicker

Sir_Nigel
06-18-2009, 11:33 AM
Miranda wove baskets of wicker
but the basket machine made ‘em quicker

flyingtart
06-18-2009, 10:47 PM
Miranda wove baskets of wicker
but the basket machine made ‘em quicker
And so she invested

Matera the Mad
06-19-2009, 07:42 AM
Miranda wove baskets of wicker
but the basket machine made ‘em quicker
And so she invested
In one, and she tested

Sir_Nigel
06-19-2009, 11:23 AM
Miranda wove baskets of wicker
but the basket machine made ‘em quicker
And so she invested
in one, and she tested
it out. Then she sold ‘em for twenty five nicker.


Two slugs in a puddle of slime

Nymtoc
06-19-2009, 04:56 PM
Two slugs in a puddle of slime
Decided to muck up a rhyme

vox
06-19-2009, 04:59 PM
Two slugs in a puddle of slime
Decided to muck up a rhyme
But try as they might

Woof
06-19-2009, 05:14 PM
Two slugs in a puddle of slime
Decided to muck up a rhyme
But try as they might
They couldn't incite

Nymtoc
06-19-2009, 08:58 PM
Two slugs in a puddle of slime
Decided to muck up a rhyme
But try as they might
They couldn't incite
Any critics to call them sublime.

A crazy Nebraskan called Biff

flyingtart
06-20-2009, 12:01 AM
A crazy Nebraskan called Biff
Found that parts of his body were stiff

donroc
06-20-2009, 01:21 AM
A crazy Nebraskan called Biff
Found that parts of his body were stiff
But not his genetals

Matera the Mad
06-20-2009, 09:45 AM
A crazy Nebraskan called Biff
Found that parts of his body were stiff
But not his genitals
If he'd been at all

flyingtart
06-20-2009, 04:49 PM
A crazy Nebraskan called Biff
Found that parts of his body were stiff
But not his genitals
If he'd been at all
Trying to launch off a high cliff.


The Duchess of Malfi was peeved

Matera the Mad
06-21-2009, 10:39 AM
The Duchess of Malfi was peeved
At her brothers, so prim and long-sleeved

flyingtart
06-21-2009, 11:55 PM
The Duchess of Malfi was peeved
At her brothers, so prim and long-sleeved
They said, with straight faces

Matera the Mad
06-22-2009, 07:18 AM
The Duchess of Malfi was peeved
At her brothers, so prim and long-sleeved
They said, with straight faces
She'd undone her laces

Sir_Nigel
06-23-2009, 11:30 AM
The Duchess of Malfi was peeved
At her brothers, so prim and long-sleeved
They said, with straight faces
She'd undone her laces
and danced in the buff they believed


She frolicked and capered all night

archerjoe
06-23-2009, 04:59 PM
She frolicked and capered all night
Bathed in bacchanalian moonlight

flyingtart
06-23-2009, 05:00 PM
She frolicked and capered all night
Bathed in bacchanalian moonlight
But at light of dawn

talkwrite
06-24-2009, 12:46 AM
She frolicked and capered all night
Bathed in bacchanalian moonlight
But at light of dawn
face down on the lawn,

Matera the Mad
06-24-2009, 08:11 AM
She frolicked and capered all night
Bathed in bacchanalian moonlight
But at light of dawn
face down on the lawn,
She was a deplorable sight

Alas, when the good dame awoke

archerjoe
06-24-2009, 05:05 PM
Alas, when the good dame awoke
With help from a lucky young bloke

donroc
06-24-2009, 05:17 PM
Saint Nick has a message for you-who
Being naughty is something you will rue
That big gift you wished for

Woof
06-24-2009, 05:31 PM
Alas, when the good dame awoke
With help from a lucky young bloke
Her locket was found

Nymtoc
06-24-2009, 10:05 PM
Alas, when the good dame awoke
With help from a lucky young bloke
Her locket was found
In the house of a hound

flyingtart
06-25-2009, 12:08 AM
Alas, when the good dame awoke
With help from a lucky young bloke
Her locket was found
In the house of a hound
Right under a kilo of coke.


While yachting one day in the Med

oneblindmouse
06-25-2009, 01:11 AM
While yachting one day in the Med
A dashing young sailor named Fred

Matera the Mad
06-25-2009, 04:49 AM
While yachting one day in the Med
A dashing young sailor named Fred
Put salt in his tea

archerjoe
06-25-2009, 06:41 AM
While yachting one day in the Med
A dashing young sailor named Fred
Put salt in his tea
And gurgled, "Dear me!"

Nymtoc
06-25-2009, 07:15 AM
While yachting one day in the Med
A dashing young sailor named Fred
Put salt in his tea
And gurgled, "Dear me!"
So he drank cappuccino instead.

:e2coffee:

An elderly spinster named Flo

Sempine
06-25-2009, 08:08 AM
An elderly spinster named Flo
Said, "Spare me the details no mo'"

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2009, 11:51 AM
An elderly spinster named Flo
Said, "Spare me the details no mo'"
So he spilled all the beans

flyingtart
06-25-2009, 06:56 PM
An elderly spinster named Flo
Said, "Spare me the details no mo'"
So he spilled all the beans
Creating some scenes

Matera the Mad
06-26-2009, 10:26 AM
An elderly spinster named Flo
Said, "Spare me the details no mo'"
So he spilled all the beans
Creating some scenes
That showed her up as an old ho


A man had but three hairs in his mustache

archerjoe
06-26-2009, 04:56 PM
A man had but three hairs in his mustache
And this stifled his elan and dash

Nymtoc
06-26-2009, 05:53 PM
A man had but three hairs in his mustache
And this stifled his elan and dash
So he tried some Rogaine

donroc
06-26-2009, 06:41 PM
A man had but three hairs in his mustache
And this stifled his elan and dash
So he tried some Rogaine
For growth and a migraine

Woof
06-26-2009, 09:02 PM
A man had but three hairs in his mustache
And this stifled his elan and dash
So he tried some Rogaine
For growth and a migraine
But it gave him an unsightly rash.


A man with a duck on his head

oneblindmouse
06-26-2009, 09:26 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Said "I wish this old fowl wasn't dead"

flyingtart
06-26-2009, 10:53 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Said "I wish this old fowl wasn't dead
For the weight of its beak

talkwrite
06-26-2009, 11:20 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Said "I wish this old fowl wasn't dead
For the weight of its beak
Denies me the right to speak

Matera the Mad
06-27-2009, 08:56 AM
A man with a duck on his head
Said "I wish this old fowl wasn't dead
For the weight of its beak
Denies me the right to speak"
(At least that's what he would have said)

There was a fair maiden in Albuquerque

Rebekah7
06-27-2009, 10:01 AM
There was a fair maiden in Albuquerque
Who always put bugs in my tea

flyingtart
06-27-2009, 01:24 PM
There was a fair maiden in Albuquerque
Who always put bugs in my tea
"Young lady," said I

archerjoe
06-28-2009, 02:18 AM
There was a fair maiden in Albuquerque
Who always put bugs in my tea
"Young lady," said I
Giving her the eye

Matera the Mad
06-28-2009, 10:45 AM
There was a fair maiden in Albuquerque
Who always put bugs in my tea
"Young lady," said I
Giving her the eye
"It's not bugs but you that bug me."


The queen of the faeries one day

donroc
06-28-2009, 03:51 PM
The queen of the faeries one day
Thought Oberon was acting too fey

flyingtart
06-28-2009, 05:27 PM
The queen of the faeries one day
Thought Oberon was acting too fey
With a wave of her wand

Nymtoc
06-28-2009, 09:34 PM
The queen of the faeries one day
Thought Oberon was acting too fey
With a wave of her wand
She created a blonde

Woof
06-28-2009, 11:04 PM
The queen of the faeries one day
Thought Oberon was acting too fey
With a wave of her wand
She created a blonde
Who was pretty and witty and gay.


The street gangs were dancing in sync

flyingtart
06-28-2009, 11:56 PM
The street gangs were dancing in sync
To the hits of Mike Jackson, I think

Admiral Snuggles
06-29-2009, 02:32 AM
The street gangs were dancing in sync
To the hits of Mike Jackson, I think
The music was fly

Matera the Mad
06-29-2009, 09:43 AM
The street gangs were dancing in sync
To the hits of Mike Jackson, I think
The music was fly
And it lit up the sky

archerjoe
06-29-2009, 04:54 PM
The street gangs were dancing in sync
To the hits of Mike Jackson, I think
The music was fly
And it lit up the sky
With a bonus encore of Pink

Summer's a great time for grilling

vox
06-29-2009, 07:35 PM
Summer's a great time for grilling
But not if the meat still needs killing.

Woof
06-29-2009, 09:36 PM
Summer's a great time for grilling
But not if the meat still needs killing.
So clobber the beast

mario_c
06-29-2009, 09:48 PM
Summer's a great time for grilling
But not if the meat still needs killing.
So clobber the beast
Call your kin for a feast

Matera the Mad
06-30-2009, 05:03 AM
Summer's a great time for grilling
But not if the meat still needs killing.
So clobber the beast
Call your kin for a feast
And we'll all have a bite--butcher willing

A shepherd who treated sheep roughly

donroc
06-30-2009, 06:42 AM
A shepherd who treated sheep roughly
Faced a ram who said to him gruffly,

Matera the Mad
06-30-2009, 08:13 AM
A shepherd who treated sheep roughly
Faced a ram who said to him gruffly,
"Get off of my ewe

Woof
06-30-2009, 04:57 PM
A shepherd who treated sheep roughly
Faced a ram who said to him gruffly,
"Get off of my ewe
Or I'll have you for stew"

Matera the Mad
07-01-2009, 07:46 AM
A shepherd who treated sheep roughly
Faced a ram who said to him gruffly,
"Get off of my ewe
Or I'll have you for stew"
Said the man, "Vegetarian toughy!"

Doctor Who met a traveling salesman

flyingtart
07-02-2009, 09:13 PM
Doctor Who met a traveling salesman
Who flogged back issues of "The Dalesman"

talkwrite
07-03-2009, 01:22 AM
Doctor Who met a traveling salesman
Who flogged back issues of "The Dalesman"
He asked who Who was

Matera the Mad
07-03-2009, 07:41 AM
Doctor Who met a traveling salesman
Who flogged back issues of "The Dalesman"
He asked who Who was
Reading what, but a buzz

vox
07-03-2009, 08:47 AM
Doctor Who met a traveling salesman
Who flogged back issues of "The Dalesman"
He asked who Who was
Reading what, but a buzz
And the logic of this kinda fails, man.

The man in the moon flew to Saturn

donroc
07-03-2009, 03:49 PM
The man in the moon flew to Saturn,
Ate hot chili, and had heartburn

flyingtart
07-03-2009, 07:04 PM
The man in the moon flew to Saturn,
Ate hot chili, and had heartburn
So without much ado

donroc
07-03-2009, 07:44 PM
The man in the moon flew to Saturn,
Ate hot chili, and had heartburn
So without much ado
He made plenty of poo

talkwrite
07-03-2009, 08:58 PM
The man in the moon flew to Saturn,
Ate hot chili, and had heartburn
So without much ado
He made plenty of poo
And now everyone in China wants their turn

Pen in hand, one nation's leaders

vox
07-04-2009, 12:33 AM
Pen in hand, one nation's leaders
Signed a law to protect all the cedars.

Matera the Mad
07-04-2009, 07:38 AM
Pen in hand, one nation's leaders
Signed a law to protect all the cedars.
They must not fall

Kmcelhinny
07-04-2009, 07:45 AM
Pen in hand, one nation's leaders
Signed a law to protect all the cedars.
They must not fall
Or shame them all

Matera the Mad
07-04-2009, 08:18 AM
Pen in hand, one nation's leaders
Signed a law to protect all the cedars.
They must not fall
Or shame them all
Turned to books for idle readers.

A space cadet named Rupert Buckler

slcboston
07-04-2009, 08:23 AM
A space cadet named Rupert Buckler
Did battle the famous horned tuckler

archerjoe
07-04-2009, 05:22 PM
A space cadet named Rupert Buckler
Did battle the famous horned tuckler
He had a close call

slcboston
07-04-2009, 06:41 PM
A space cadet named Rupert Buckler
Did battle the famous horned tuckler
He had a close call
But was spot on the ball

Matera the Mad
07-05-2009, 07:30 AM
A space cadet named Rupert Buckler
Did battle the famous horned tuckler
He had a close call
But was spot on the ball
When he gave it his famous six-knuckler

Science fiction is full of weird aliens

StephanieFox
07-06-2009, 02:55 AM
Science fiction is full of weird aliens
And politics Governor Palians

Matera the Mad
07-06-2009, 05:02 AM
Science fiction is full of weird aliens
And politics Governor Palians
We shall never lack

Nymtoc
07-06-2009, 07:26 AM
Science fiction is full of weird aliens
And politics Governor Palians
We shall never lack
A political hack

archerjoe
07-06-2009, 04:56 PM
Science fiction is full of weird aliens
And politics Governor Palians
We shall never lack
A political hack
As strange as UFO-groupie Raëlians

A man with two bottles of gin

Nymtoc
07-06-2009, 05:52 PM
A man with two bottles of gin
said, "I'll share if you tickle my chin."

Woof
07-06-2009, 06:13 PM
A man with two bottles of gin
said, "I'll share if you tickle my chin."
"And if you rub my back"

Sir_Nigel
07-06-2009, 06:29 PM
A man with two bottles of gin
said, "I'll share if you tickle my chin."
"And if you rub my back
then this hot tasty snack…

flyingtart
07-07-2009, 02:23 PM
A man with two bottles of gin
said, "I'll share if you tickle my chin.
And if you rub my back
then this hot tasty snack!"
But surely, m'lud, that's a sin!

I woke in the night in a sweat

donroc
07-07-2009, 03:35 PM
I woke in the night in a sweat
To a loan shark I can't pay my debt

Nymtoc
07-07-2009, 04:26 PM
I woke in the night in a sweat
To a loan shark I can't pay my debt
If I don't act fast

archerjoe
07-07-2009, 05:25 PM
I woke in the night in a sweat
To a loan shark I can't pay my debt
If I don't act fast
My leg's in a cast

Matera the Mad
07-09-2009, 06:27 AM
I woke in the night in a sweat
To a loan shark I can't pay my debt
If I don't act fast
My leg's in a cast
And my arm is a very bad bet.

A preacher who left his fly open

Sir_Nigel
07-09-2009, 11:53 AM
A preacher who left his fly open
was indicted for flashin’ and gropin’

archerjoe
07-09-2009, 04:44 PM
A preacher who left his fly open
was indicted for flashin’ and gropin’
His unholy sermon

Nymtoc
07-09-2009, 04:53 PM
A preacher who left his fly open
was indicted for flashin’ and gropin’
His unholy sermon
Had gentlefolk squirmin'

Matera the Mad
07-10-2009, 08:10 AM
A preacher who left his fly open
was indicted for flashin’ and gropin’
His unholy sermon
Had gentlefolk squirmin'
But some of the ladies were hopin'

On a pinhead danced seventy angels

flyingtart
07-10-2009, 11:32 PM
On a pinhead danced seventy angels
A sight that was terribly strangels

Matera the Mad
07-11-2009, 04:14 AM
On a pinhead danced seventy angels
A sight that was terribly strangels
Said one seraph, "You see,

Admiral Snuggles
07-11-2009, 10:00 PM
On a pinhead danced seventy angels
A sight that was terribly strangels
Said one seraph, "You see,
this is how statues pee."

flyingtart
07-11-2009, 11:17 PM
On a pinhead danced seventy angels
A sight that was terribly strangels
Said one seraph, "You see,
this is how statues pee."
But the danger is they can catch mangels.


A tricky old fellow is Len

Matera the Mad
07-12-2009, 07:51 AM
A tricky old fellow is Len
He's smarter than most aging men

Admiral Snuggles
07-12-2009, 04:10 PM
A tricky old fellow is Len
He's smarter than most aging men
He'll beat you at checkers

Woof
07-12-2009, 07:57 PM
A tricky old fellow is Len
He's smarter than most aging men
He'll beat you at checkers
He steals from woodpeckers

Nymtoc
07-12-2009, 09:17 PM
A tricky old fellow is Len
He's smarter than most aging men
He'll beat you at checkers
He steals from woodpeckers
And dallies with maids in the glen.

Miss Marple's exceedingly smart

Matera the Mad
07-13-2009, 07:09 AM
Miss Marple's exceedingly smart
Her crime-solving skill is an art

archerjoe
07-13-2009, 05:23 PM
Miss Marple's exceedingly smart
Her crime-solving skill is an art
While weeding flowers

donroc
07-13-2009, 06:18 PM
Miss Marple's exceedingly smart
Her crime-solving skill is an art
While weeding flowers
Solves murders in hours

vox
07-13-2009, 09:57 PM
Miss Marple's exceedingly smart
Her crime-solving skill is an art
While weeding flowers
Solves murders in hours
Yet somehow can't hear herself fart


I got some strange news in a letter

Pthom
07-14-2009, 01:42 AM
I got some strange news in a letter
Which I folded and stuffed in my sweater

archerjoe
07-14-2009, 03:26 AM
I got some strange news in a letter
Which I folded and stuffed in my sweater
I will inherit

Nymtoc
07-14-2009, 03:30 AM
I got some strange news in a letter
Which I folded and stuffed in my sweater
I will inherit
Two prunes and a carrot

Matera the Mad
07-14-2009, 07:19 AM
I got some strange news in a letter
Which I folded and stuffed in my sweater
I will inherit
Two prunes and a carrot
A million or two would be better :(

"Just what do you think you are doing,"

Sir_Nigel
07-14-2009, 11:44 AM
"Just what do you think you are doing,
you’re fro-ing when you ought to be to-ing”

Nymtoc
07-14-2009, 04:03 PM
"Just what do you think you are doing,
you’re fro-ing when you ought to be to-ing.
You're ups are all down

vox
07-14-2009, 04:38 PM
Just what do you think you are doing,
you’re fro-ing when you ought to be to-ing.
You're ups are all down
'Stead of smile, you frown

Matera the Mad
07-15-2009, 07:39 AM
Just what do you think you are doing,
you’re fro-ing when you ought to be to-ing.
You're ups are all down
'Stead of smile, you frown
And you've lost every girl you've been wooing!

In Michigan lived a fair maiden

flyingtart
07-15-2009, 08:29 PM
In Michigan lived a fair maiden
Who bra was most heavily laden

archerjoe
07-15-2009, 11:47 PM
In Michigan lived a fair maiden
Who bra was most heavily laden
She ran past Detroit

Matera the Mad
07-16-2009, 09:20 AM
In Michigan lived a fair maiden
Who bra was most heavily laden
She ran past Detroit
With a bounce so adroit

Nymtoc
07-16-2009, 10:28 AM
In Michigan lived a fair maiden
Who bra was most heavily laden
She ran past Detroit
With a bounce so adroit
That it took her from Dearborn to Aden.

My grandfather's clock is so old

Sir_Nigel
07-16-2009, 12:38 PM
My grandfather's clock is so old
that you can’t tell the time for the mould

flyingtart
07-16-2009, 02:44 PM
My grandfather's clock is so old
that you can’t tell the time for the mould
And the poor rusty gears

archerjoe
07-16-2009, 04:11 PM
My grandfather's clock is so old
that you can’t tell the time for the mould
And the poor rusty gears
Have been squeaking for years

Sir_Nigel
07-16-2009, 05:04 PM
My grandfather's clock is so old
that you can’t tell the time for the mould
And the poor rusty gears
Have been squeaking for years
You can hear ‘em from Stowe-on-the-Wold!



King Zog and his flunkey were sad

donroc
07-16-2009, 06:17 PM
King Zog and his flunkey were sad
Italy invaded his pad

flyingtart
07-16-2009, 07:07 PM
King Zog and his flunkey were sad
Italy invaded his pad
Said the flunkey to Zog

vox
07-16-2009, 08:17 PM
King Zog and his flunkey were sad
Italy invaded his pad
Said the flunkey to Zog
If it weren't for the fog

Nymtoc
07-17-2009, 12:00 AM
King Zog and his flunkey were sad
Italy invaded his pad
Said the flunkey to Zog
If it weren't for the fog
I could see whether you're wearing plaid.

The racers were ready to run

Matera the Mad
07-17-2009, 06:56 AM
The racers were ready to run
'Til a badly miss-aimed starting gun

archerjoe
07-17-2009, 09:35 PM
The racers were ready to run
'Til a badly miss-aimed starting gun
Hit one in "the jewels"

Nymtoc
07-17-2009, 09:50 PM
The racers were ready to run
'Til a badly miss-aimed starting gun
Hit one in "the jewels"
Draining him of his fuels

Matera the Mad
07-18-2009, 08:59 AM
The racers were ready to run
'Til a badly miss-aimed starting gun
Hit one in "the jewels"
Draining him of his fuels
And making him miss all the fun

A randy young man at a clam-bake

flyingtart
07-18-2009, 11:56 AM
A randy young man at a clam-bake
Found all of his limbs start to shake

oneblindmouse
07-19-2009, 12:34 AM
A randy young man at a clam-bake
Found all of his limbs start to shake
He skewered a mussel

Matera the Mad
07-19-2009, 06:42 AM
A randy young man at a clam-bake
Found all of his limbs start to shake
He skewered a mussel
But had quite a tussle

archerjoe
07-20-2009, 07:00 AM
A randy young man at a clam-bake
Found all of his limbs start to shake
He skewered a mussel
But had quite a tussle
Till he slipped and fell into the lake

Radio blowhards on the airwaves

Matera the Mad
07-20-2009, 08:26 AM
Radio blowhards on the airwaves
Rant on and on, Jeeeeeeezus saves!"

Nymtoc
07-20-2009, 09:01 AM
Radio blowhards on the airwaves
Rant on and on, Jeeeeeeezus saves!"
Hallelujah! Send money!

archerjoe
07-20-2009, 06:27 PM
Radio blowhards on the airwaves
Rant on and on, Jeeeeeeezus saves!"
Hallelujah! Send money!
Your skies will be sunny!

donroc
07-20-2009, 06:40 PM
Radio blowhards on the airwaves
Rant on and on, Jeeeeeeezus saves!"
Hallelujah! Send money!
Your skies will be sunny!
And you will be one of the Lord's faves.

Did Moses stutter at the Red Sea?

Sir_Nigel
07-21-2009, 01:02 PM
Did Moses stutter at the Red Sea?
yelling ‘Israelites fer fer fer follow me!’ ?

Matera the Mad
07-22-2009, 03:20 AM
Did Moses stutter at the Red Sea?
yelling ‘Israelites fer fer fer follow me!’ ?
Or did he speak out

flyingtart
07-22-2009, 11:16 PM
Did Moses stutter at the Red Sea?
yelling ‘Israelites fer fer fer follow me!’ ?
Or did he speak out,
And shamelessly shout

slcboston
07-23-2009, 01:13 AM
Did Moses stutter at the Red Sea?
yelling ‘Israelites fer fer fer follow me!’ ?
Or did he speak out,
And shamelessly shout
"Behold, I've a staff that's not wee!"?


From Glengary hailed our friend Glen

Matera the Mad
07-23-2009, 04:56 AM
From Glengary hailed our friend Glen
And likewise friends Gary and Gwen

Sir_Nigel
07-23-2009, 11:17 AM
From Glengary hailed our friend Glen
And likewise friends Gary and Gwen.
This sociable Jock

Matera the Mad
07-24-2009, 08:07 AM
From Glengary hailed our friend Glen
And likewise friends Gary and Gwen.
This sociable Jock
And his comrades did flock

Nymtoc
07-24-2009, 12:21 PM
From Glengary hailed our friend Glen
And likewise friends Gary and Gwen.
This sociable Jock
And his comrades did flock
Making Merry with Sally and Sven.

In the quaint little village of Totten

Sir_Nigel
07-24-2009, 04:05 PM
In the quaint little village of Totten
lived a floozy whose name I’ve forgotten

archerjoe
07-24-2009, 05:10 PM
In the quaint little village of Totten
lived a floozy whose name I’ve forgotten
I still have a rash

flyingtart
07-24-2009, 08:38 PM
In the quaint little village of Totten
lived a floozy whose name I’ve forgotten
I still have a rash
And she took all my cash

Matera the Mad
07-26-2009, 07:46 AM
In the quaint little village of Totten
lived a floozy whose name I’ve forgotten
I still have a rash
And she took all my cash
But the lesson lives on while she's rottin'

Let men quake when dragon courts dragon

Sir_Nigel
07-27-2009, 11:32 AM
Let men quake when dragon courts dragon
Cos soon they’ll be merrily shaggin’

flyingtart
07-27-2009, 04:52 PM
Let men quake when dragon courts dragon
Cos soon they’ll be merrily shaggin’
And breathing their fire

archerjoe
07-27-2009, 05:46 PM
Let men quake when dragon courts dragon
Cos soon they’ll be merrily shaggin’
And breathing their fire
With side-effects dire

Sir_Nigel
07-27-2009, 05:58 PM
Let men quake when dragon courts dragon
Cos soon they’ll be merrily shaggin’
And breathing their fire
With side-effects dire
But handy for lighting your fag on.



I wouldn’t say boo to a goose

Matera the Mad
07-28-2009, 05:02 AM
I wouldn’t say boo to a goose
Lest I scare pints of excrement loose

Nightfly
07-28-2009, 06:03 AM
I wouldn't say boo to goose
Lest I scare pints of excrement loose
I would say however

flyingtart
07-28-2009, 12:45 PM
I wouldn't say boo to goose
Lest I scare pints of excrement loose
I would say however
That I almost never

Nymtoc
07-28-2009, 04:02 PM
I wouldn't say boo to goose
Lest I scare pints of excrement loose
I would say however
That I almost never
Attempt to hitch rides on a moose.

Last night at a bend in the river

Sir_Nigel
07-28-2009, 04:58 PM
Last night at a bend in the river
I feasted on entrails and liver

flyingtart
07-28-2009, 06:18 PM
Last night at a bend in the river
I feasted on entrails and liver
When along came a yak

Nymtoc
07-28-2009, 10:06 PM
Last night at a bend in the river
I feasted on entrails and liver
When along came a yak
With a goon on its back

Matera the Mad
07-29-2009, 04:19 AM
Last night at a bend in the river
I feasted on entrails and liver
When along came a yak
With a goon on its back
Yelling, "Hey! The foul swine stole my flivver!"

I once had a bowl filled with cherries

Nightfly
07-29-2009, 04:40 AM
But then Dean said "C'mon now that's Jerry's."

slcboston
07-29-2009, 06:20 AM
I once had a bowl filled with cherries
But then Dean said "C'mon now that's Jerry's."
Then Frank said, "So what?"

archerjoe
07-29-2009, 07:21 AM
I once had a bowl filled with cherries
But then Dean said "C'mon now that's Jerry's."
Then Frank said, "So what?"
Sammy took his cut

slcboston
07-29-2009, 07:34 AM
I once had a bowl filled with cherries
But then Dean said "C'mon now that's Jerry's."
Then Frank said, "So what?"
Sammy took his cut
And Peter got left with the pits.

There once was a cup filled with juice

flyingtart
07-29-2009, 08:00 PM
There once was a cup filled with juice
Which sat on the back of a moose

Matera the Mad
07-31-2009, 09:16 AM
There once was a cup filled with juice
Which sat on the back of a moose
With each step he took

Nymtoc
07-31-2009, 09:23 AM
There once was a cup filled with juice
Which sat on the back of a moose
With each step he took
The dratted cup shook

Woof
07-31-2009, 04:41 PM
There once was a cup filled with juice
Which sat on the back of a moose
With each step he took
The dratted cup shook
And it spilled all over a goose.


A woman with stars in her eyes