PDA

View Full Version : Limericks Live!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 [38] 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90

ad_lucem
04-21-2009, 05:22 AM
Texas, it's said, may secede
And many implore "Godspeed!"
The sooner it splits[/quote]

The less we'll hear from the twits
But I fear they'll continue to breed.

(Don't kill me. Don't kill me. My mom came from Texas...I'm seeing a counselor...)

Matera the Mad
04-21-2009, 07:37 AM
new line plz

flyingtart
04-21-2009, 05:48 PM
Continuing nymtoc's one:

"You ran a red light," the cop said.
As he hit his baton off my head

ad_lucem
04-21-2009, 07:10 PM
Continuing nymtoc's one:

"You ran a red light," the cop said.
As he hit his baton off my head

Snatching his doughnut
I ran like you-know-what

Nymtoc
04-21-2009, 07:36 PM
Snatching his doughnut
I ran like you-know-what
And gobbled it down

Matera the Mad
04-21-2009, 07:37 PM
"You ran a red light," the cop said.
As he hit his baton off my head
Snatching his doughnut
I ran like you-know-what
And what a mad chase scene I led!


Unknown to its owner, a faery

ad_lucem
04-21-2009, 07:44 PM
Unknown to its owner, a faery
Had procured a lawyer named Larry

Matera the Mad
04-21-2009, 08:01 PM
Unknown to its owner, a faery
Had procured a lawyer named Larry
To sue for the garden

donroc
04-21-2009, 08:07 PM
A digression:

There's chaos in Limerick Land

Matera the Mad
04-21-2009, 08:16 PM
Digression2: there's slower posting for some, total confusion for others. /me gives up for the day

talkwrite
04-22-2009, 12:57 AM
Unknown to its owner, a faery
Had procured a lawyer named Larry
To sue for the garden
His heart did harden

archerjoe
04-22-2009, 01:03 AM
Unknown to its owner, a faery
Had procured a lawyer named Larry
To sue for the garden
His heart did harden
He replaced the garden with prairie

An obstinate lawyer met the judge

ad_lucem
04-22-2009, 01:12 AM
An obstinate lawyer met the judge
To settle some family's grudge

talkwrite
04-22-2009, 01:12 AM
An obstinate lawyer met the judge
Against whom he held a nasty grudge

flyingtart
04-23-2009, 10:23 PM
An obstinate lawyer met the judge
Against whom he held a nasty grudge
Without a word

ad_lucem
04-23-2009, 10:40 PM
An obstinate lawyer met the judge
Against whom he held a nasty grudge
Without a word
He flipped em' the bird

Matera the Mad
04-24-2009, 05:07 AM
An obstinate lawyer met the judge
Against whom he held a nasty grudge
Without a word
He flipped em' the bird
And now in the jail he's a drudge.


A famous musician in Poland

Sir_Nigel
04-24-2009, 11:14 AM
A famous musician in Poland
met a sad-eyed lady of the lowland

flyingtart
04-24-2009, 02:22 PM
A famous musician in Poland
met a sad-eyed lady of the lowland
She gave him a wink

archerjoe
04-24-2009, 02:29 PM
A famous musician in Poland
met a sad-eyed lady of the lowland
She gave him a wink
And he did not think

Sir_Nigel
04-24-2009, 03:03 PM
A famous musician in Poland
met a sad-eyed lady of the lowland
She gave him a wink
And he did not think
that her favourite cheese would be Bowland



The page looked foreboding and blank

donroc
04-24-2009, 03:06 PM
The page looked foreboding and blank
And distressed a writer named Frank

Nymtoc
04-24-2009, 03:10 PM
The page looked foreboding and blank
And distressed a writer named Frank
He started to scribble

donroc
04-24-2009, 04:09 PM
The page looked foreboding and blank
And distressed a writer named Frank
He started to scribble
But his beta did quibble

archerjoe
04-24-2009, 04:33 PM
The page looked foreboding and blank
And distressed a writer named Frank
He started to scribble
But his beta did quibble
"Frank, I really hope it's a prank"

"It's bad," said the grizzled mechanic

Matera the Mad
04-25-2009, 07:08 AM
"It's bad," said the grizzled mechanic
But the little old maid did not panic

Nymtoc
04-25-2009, 11:02 PM
"It's bad," said the grizzled mechanic
But the little old maid did not panic.
She made him a cuppa

Matera the Mad
04-26-2009, 07:45 AM
"It's bad," said the grizzled mechanic
But the little old maid did not panic.
She made him a cuppa
Laced with a strong uppa

ad_lucem
04-26-2009, 06:57 PM
"It's bad," said the grizzled mechanic
But the little old maid did not panic.
She made him a cuppa
Laced with a strong uppa
And he blazed through the job like a manic.

There once was a dotty old loon...

donroc
04-26-2009, 07:51 PM
There once was a dotty old loon...
Who bought a tux for his pet baboon

Nymtoc
04-26-2009, 11:31 PM
There once was a dotty old loon...
Who bought a tux for his pet baboon
They went to a ball

archerjoe
04-27-2009, 01:28 AM
There once was a dotty old loon...
Who bought a tux for his pet baboon
They went to a ball
With hopes to enthrall

Nymtoc
04-27-2009, 02:18 AM
There once was a dotty old loon...
Who bought a tux for his pet baboon
They went to a ball
With hopes to enthrall
But the loon was declared a buffoon.

:roll:

I heard something strange in the night

Matera the Mad
04-27-2009, 08:34 AM
I heard something strange in the night
Anyone else would have run in a fright

flyingtart
04-27-2009, 07:50 PM
I heard something strange in the night
Anyone else would have run in a fright
This unholy wailing

archerjoe
04-27-2009, 08:20 PM
I heard something strange in the night
Anyone else would have run in a fright
This unholy wailing
Has my courage bailing

ad_lucem
04-27-2009, 08:25 PM
I heard something strange in the night
Anyone else would have run in a fright
This unholy wailing
Has my courage bailing
And my hair turning a most dazzling white


The ancient king's burial mound

flyingtart
04-27-2009, 08:27 PM
The ancient king's burial mound
Contained treasures most sure to astound

talkwrite
04-28-2009, 12:41 AM
The ancient king's burial mound
Contained treasures most sure to astound
But, could it be reached?

Matera the Mad
04-28-2009, 10:53 AM
The ancient king's burial mound
Contained treasures most sure to astound
But, could it be reached?
"Let us try," he beseeched

Nymtoc
04-28-2009, 11:11 AM
The ancient king's burial mound
Contained treasures most sure to astound
But, could it be reached?
"Let us try," he beseeched
Yet to this day no treasure's been found.

:cool:

Old Jed had an ornery mule

Sir_Nigel
04-28-2009, 11:25 AM
Old Jed had an ornery mule
And it just wouldn’t budge from the pool

archerjoe
04-28-2009, 02:19 PM
Old Jed had an ornery mule
And it just wouldn’t budge from the pool
He offered a treat

talkwrite
04-28-2009, 10:06 PM
Old Jed had an ornery mule
And it just wouldn’t budge from the pool
He offered a treat
And dug in his feet

Matera the Mad
04-29-2009, 04:20 AM
Old Jed had an ornery mule
And it just wouldn’t budge from the pool
He offered a treat
And dug in his feet
But the mule made him look like a fool

If the Wizard of Oz had a budget

archerjoe
04-29-2009, 05:55 AM
If the Wizard of Oz had a budget
He'd hide behind the curtain and fudge it

talkwrite
04-29-2009, 10:24 PM
If the Wizard of Oz had a budget
He'd hide behind the curtain and fudge it
10 K for P.R.

ad_lucem
04-29-2009, 10:50 PM
If the Wizard of Oz had a budget
He'd hide behind the curtain and fudge it
10 K for P.R.
To be a big star

Matera the Mad
04-30-2009, 05:06 AM
If the Wizard of Oz had a budget
He'd hide behind the curtain and fudge it
10 K for P.R.
To be a big star
But a little bit over he'd nudge it

What a marvelous meteor shower

archerjoe
04-30-2009, 05:21 AM
What a marvelous meteor shower
It glows like a celestial flower

Sir_Nigel
04-30-2009, 12:18 PM
What a marvellous meteor shower
It glows like a celestial flower
But it portends our doom

Kmcelhinny
04-30-2009, 05:30 PM
What a marvellous meteor shower
It glows like a celestial flower
But it portends our doom
That will come all to soon

Sir_Nigel
04-30-2009, 06:03 PM
What a marvellous meteor shower
It glows like a celestial flower
But it portends our doom
That will come all to soon
The world ends in just under an hour!



Well it wasn’t too bad while it lasted

flyingtart
04-30-2009, 06:40 PM
Well it wasn’t too bad while it lasted
Except for the time when she fasted

archerjoe
04-30-2009, 06:50 PM
Well it wasn’t too bad while it lasted
Except for the time when she fasted
She made it a week

Kmcelhinny
05-01-2009, 03:07 AM
Well it wasn’t too bad while it lasted
Except for the time when she fasted
She made it a week
and became too meek

Matera the Mad
05-01-2009, 07:27 AM
Well it wasn’t too bad while it lasted
Except for the time when she fasted
She made it a week
and became too meek
To say no, and left no man untasted

However can heffalumps hump

Sir_Nigel
05-01-2009, 02:39 PM
However can heffalumps hump
when they’re making a parachute jump?

Nymtoc
05-01-2009, 03:38 PM
However can heffalumps hump
when they’re making a parachute jump?
Do trunks get entwined?

flyingtart
05-01-2009, 10:31 PM
However can heffalumps hump
when they’re making a parachute jump?
Do trunks get entwined?
Or stuck up their behind

archerjoe
05-01-2009, 10:39 PM
However can heffalumps hump
when they’re making a parachute jump?
Do trunks get entwined?
Or stuck up their behind
Do they use the turbulence to pump?

I sat in the house as it rained

flyingtart
05-01-2009, 11:21 PM
I sat in the house as it rained
With my dog who is hardly house-trained

donroc
05-01-2009, 11:26 PM
I sat in the house as it rained
With my dog who is hardly house-trained
She pooped and she piddled

Matera the Mad
05-02-2009, 08:39 AM
I sat in the house as it rained
With my dog who is hardly house-trained
She pooped and she piddled
While I with words twiddled

flyingtart
05-02-2009, 06:09 PM
I sat in the house as it rained
With my dog who is hardly house-trained
She pooped and she piddled
While I with words twiddled
And to clear it all up I disdained.


Now swine flu's the talk of the media

Nymtoc
05-02-2009, 09:42 PM
Now swine flu's the talk of the media
Though it's not in my encyclopedia

Matera the Mad
05-03-2009, 05:16 AM
Now swine flu's the talk of the media
Though it's not in my encyclopedia
The pigs in my 'hood

archerjoe
05-03-2009, 05:40 AM
Now swine flu's the talk of the media
Though it's not in my encyclopedia
The pigs in my 'hood
Would leave if they could

flyingtart
05-03-2009, 05:55 PM
Now swine flu's the talk of the media
Though it's not in my encyclopedia
The pigs in my 'hood
Would leave if they could
Then there'd be no sausage to feed ya.


Do monkeys and donkeys like cheese?

Nymtoc
05-04-2009, 12:00 AM
Do monkeys and donkeys like cheese?
Can crocodiles learn to say, "Please?"

archerjoe
05-04-2009, 04:10 AM
Do monkeys and donkeys like cheese?
Can crocodiles learn to say, "Please?"
Will animals learn

flyingtart
05-04-2009, 07:05 PM
Do monkeys and donkeys like cheese?
Can crocodiles learn to say, "Please?"
Will animals learn
To save what they earn

Sir_Nigel
05-05-2009, 12:08 PM
Do monkeys and donkeys like cheese?
Can crocodiles learn to say, "Please?"
Will animals learn
To save what they earn
before showing their knobbly knees?


Please keep it quiet, she said

archerjoe
05-05-2009, 02:40 PM
Please keep it quiet, she said
This migraine is splitting my head

flyingtart
05-05-2009, 05:34 PM
Please keep it quiet, she said
This migraine is splitting my head
Your incessant singing

donroc
05-05-2009, 06:31 PM
Please keep it quiet, she said
This migraine is splitting my head
Your incessant singing
And noise from your blinging

MarkR
05-05-2009, 07:53 PM
Please keep it quiet, she said
This migraine is splitting my head
Your incessant singing
And noise from your blinging
Shut it up or get out of the bed!

The old man was drinking vermouth

Nymtoc
05-05-2009, 08:05 PM
The old man was drinking vermouth
He swallowed a quart. That's the truth.

talkwrite
05-05-2009, 09:47 PM
The old man was drinking vermouth
He swallowed a quart. That's the truth.
It leaked through his ears

archerjoe
05-05-2009, 09:56 PM
The old man was drinking vermouth
He swallowed a quart. That's the truth.
It leaked through his ears
And gummed up his tears

Sir_Nigel
05-06-2009, 11:32 AM
The old man was drinking vermouth
He swallowed a quart. That's the truth.
It leaked through his ears
And gummed up his tears
And his language was rude and uncouth.


“You *&@*ing old *£$&*ers!!!!” he said.

poetinahat
05-06-2009, 11:40 AM
“You *&@*ing old *£$&*ers!!!!” he said.
"I ordered the kippers! Instead,

archerjoe
05-06-2009, 04:19 PM
“You *&@*ing old *£$&*ers!!!!” he said.
"I ordered the kippers! Instead,
You brought #$$^ ¥©€ cod

ad_lucem
05-06-2009, 05:01 PM
“You *&@*ing old *£$&*ers!!!!” he said.
"I ordered the kippers! Instead,
You brought #$$^ ¥©€ cod
You stupid old sod

flyingtart
05-06-2009, 05:18 PM
“You *&@*ing old *£$&*ers!!!!” he said.
"I ordered the kippers! Instead,
You brought #$$^ ¥©€ cod
You stupid old sod
Now @£$% off to your bed!"


When Simon arrived at her door

archerjoe
05-06-2009, 05:37 PM
When Simon arrived at her door
She'd sworn off "Idol" the night before

ad_lucem
05-06-2009, 05:42 PM
When Simon arrived at her door
She'd sworn off "Idol" the night before
It messed with her head

Matera the Mad
05-07-2009, 08:46 AM
When Simon arrived at her door
She'd sworn off "Idol" the night before
It messed with her head
Left her feeling like lead

Sir_Nigel
05-07-2009, 02:34 PM
When Simon arrived at her door
She'd sworn off "Idol" the night before
It messed with her head
Left her feeling like lead
And her whatsit was still very sore.



What shall we do with the pie?

archerjoe
05-07-2009, 02:37 PM
What shall we do with the pie?
I'm so hungry I think I could cry.

Kmcelhinny
05-07-2009, 04:27 PM
What shall we do with the pie?
I'm so hungry I think I could cry.
I must hurry and eat it.

flyingtart
05-07-2009, 06:20 PM
What shall we do with the pie?
I'm so hungry I think I could cry.
I must hurry and eat it.
If that's not conceited

talkwrite
05-07-2009, 09:13 PM
What shall we do with the pie?
I'm so hungry I think I could cry.
I must hurry and eat it.
If that's not conceited
While I am eating you can reply

Excuse me, have you seen my bliss?

oneblindmouse
05-07-2009, 10:18 PM
Excuse me, have you seen my bliss?
The serpent then asked with a hiss

archerjoe
05-08-2009, 05:37 PM
Excuse me, have you seen my bliss?
The serpent then asked with a hiss
In exchange for this fruit

ad_lucem
05-08-2009, 06:52 PM
Excuse me, have you seen my bliss?
The serpent then asked with a hiss
In exchange for this fruit
I'll give you a suit

donroc
05-08-2009, 08:57 PM
Excuse me, have you seen my bliss?
The serpent then asked with a hiss
In exchange for this fruit
I'll give you a suit
And a wet forked tongue French kiss.

Who wed Cain in the land of Nod?

Nymtoc
05-08-2009, 09:13 PM
Who wed Cain in the land of Nod?
Her existence is certainly odd

flyingtart
05-08-2009, 10:08 PM
Who wed Cain in the land of Nod?
Her existence is certainly odd
He tried on-line dating

Kmcelhinny
05-08-2009, 10:23 PM
Who wed Cain in the land of Nod?
Her existence is certainly odd
He tried on-line dating
But then he decided he was tired of mating

Matera the Mad
05-09-2009, 07:45 AM
Who wed Cain in the land of Nod?
Her existence is certainly odd
He tried on-line dating
But then he decided he was tired of mating
Which got him in trouble with God


If Adam and Eve had been Protestant

Nymtoc
05-09-2009, 10:44 AM
If Adam and Eve had been Protestant
They wouldn't have slept in the hottest tent

archerjoe
05-09-2009, 06:11 PM
If Adam and Eve had been Protestant
They wouldn't have slept in the hottest tent
They'd eat pot-luck dinners

Kmcelhinny
05-09-2009, 06:34 PM
If Adam and Eve had been Protestant
They wouldn't have slept in the hottest tent
They'd eat pot-luck dinners
And they'd both be winners

donroc
05-09-2009, 06:42 PM
If Adam and Eve had been Protestant
They wouldn't have slept in the hottest tent
They'd eat pot-luck dinners
And they'd both be winners
But would they still be innocent?

Who circumcised Adam I ask

Woof
05-09-2009, 06:44 PM
Who circumcised Adam I ask
Was it God with a surgical mask?

flyingtart
05-09-2009, 06:47 PM
Who circumcised Adam I ask
Was it God with a surgical mask?
Or perhaps it was Eve

Woof
05-09-2009, 06:49 PM
Who circumcised Adam I ask
Was it God with a surgical mask?
Or perhaps it was Eve
Chopping with a heave

Nymtoc
05-09-2009, 09:40 PM
Who circumcised Adam I ask
Was it God with a surgical mask?
Or perhaps it was Eve
Chopping with a heave
Think she might have enjoyed the task?

:hat:

Did that first couple know about kink?

ad_lucem
05-10-2009, 05:34 AM
Did that first couple know about kink?
She said with a nod and a wink

flyingtart
05-10-2009, 07:15 PM
Did that first couple know about kink?
She said with a nod and a wink
When they conjugated

StephanieFox
05-11-2009, 02:39 AM
Did that first couple know about kink?
She said with a nod and a wink
When they conjugated
His (something) deflated

ad_lucem
05-11-2009, 04:54 AM
Did that first couple know about kink?
She said with a nod and a wink
When they conjugated
His (something) deflated
So she promptly left for a stiff drink.

There's nothing quite like apple pie

Matera the Mad
05-11-2009, 07:28 AM
There's nothing quite like apple pie
Said Adam to Eve with a sigh

Sir_Nigel
05-11-2009, 05:01 PM
There's nothing quite like apple pie
Said Adam to Eve with a sigh
But God said “AHEM”

archerjoe
05-11-2009, 05:52 PM
There's nothing quite like apple pie
Said Adam to Eve with a sigh
But God said “AHEM”
Banished both of them

ad_lucem
05-11-2009, 07:16 PM
There's nothing quite like apple pie
Said Adam to Eve with a sigh
But God said “AHEM”
Banished both of them
Talk about a poke in the eye!

Methinks I detect a theme...

archerjoe
05-11-2009, 07:52 PM
Methinks I detect a theme...
A Garden of Eden meme

talkwrite
05-11-2009, 11:39 PM
Methinks I detect a theme...
A Garden of Eden meme
Are we all hungry?

ad_lucem
05-12-2009, 12:55 AM
Methinks I detect a theme...
A Garden of Eden meme
Are we all hungry?
Or just a bit angry

archerjoe
05-12-2009, 01:02 AM
Methinks I detect a theme...
A Garden of Eden meme
Are we all hungry?
Or just a bit angry
The pie didn't come with ice cream

To think it all started with a pair

Nymtoc
05-12-2009, 01:42 AM
To think it all started with a pair
More innocent than debonair

ad_lucem
05-12-2009, 03:05 AM
To think it all started with a pair
More innocent than debonair
Is preposterous at best

Matera the Mad
05-12-2009, 07:25 AM
To think it all started with a pair
More innocent than debonair
Is preposterous at best
Surely God loves a jest

Sir_Nigel
05-12-2009, 11:36 AM
To think it all started with a pair
More innocent than debonair
Is preposterous at best
Surely God loves a jest
Imagine the incest down there


And now, on a different matter

archerjoe
05-12-2009, 02:32 PM
And now, on a different matter
Enough with the Edenic chatter

ad_lucem
05-12-2009, 07:04 PM
And now, on a different matter
Enough with the Edenic chatter
Did you ever see?

flyingtart
05-12-2009, 10:12 PM
And now, on a different matter
Enough with the Edenic chatter
Did you ever see
A lactating tree?

ad_lucem
05-13-2009, 01:35 AM
And now, on a different matter
Enough with the Edenic chatter
Did you ever see
A lactating tree
Or a cake made with pure gold batter?

She said, "Jim, you're an Übermensch"

donroc
05-13-2009, 03:11 AM
She said, "Jim, you're an Übermensch"
He said, "You are a clever wench."

archerjoe
05-13-2009, 05:56 AM
She said, "Jim, you're an Übermensch"
He said, "You are a clever wench.
If I had my druthers

Matera the Mad
05-13-2009, 07:31 AM
She said, "Jim, you're an Übermensch"
He said, "You are a clever wench.
If I had my druthers
I'd sack my sons' mothers

flyingtart
05-13-2009, 07:55 PM
She said, "Jim, you're an Übermensch"
He said, "You are a clever wench.
If I had my druthers
I'd sack my sons' mothers
And all of my fists I'd unclench."


Have you heard of the cowboy named Joe?

Nymtoc
05-13-2009, 10:01 PM
Have you heard of the cowboy named Joe?
Who loved to read stories by Poe?

archerjoe
05-13-2009, 11:33 PM
Have you heard of the cowboy named Joe?
Who loved to read stories by Poe?
His horse was named Raven

talkwrite
05-14-2009, 12:44 AM
Have you heard of the cowboy named Joe?
Who loved to read stories by Poe?
His horse was named Raven
He was not once caught bathin'

ad_lucem
05-14-2009, 02:53 AM
Have you heard of the cowboy named Joe?
Who loved to read stories by Poe?
His horse was named Raven
He was not once caught bathin'
And his smell was the cause of much woe.

They say the moon is made of cheese

donroc
05-14-2009, 02:59 AM
They say the moon is made of cheese
With a smile that suggests John Cleese

Matera the Mad
05-14-2009, 08:20 AM
They say the moon is made of cheese
With a smile that suggests John Cleese
But I think it's a waste

Pthom
05-14-2009, 10:06 AM
They say the moon is made of cheese
With a smile that suggests John Cleese
But I think it's a waste
That something can taste

flyingtart
05-14-2009, 06:15 PM
They say the moon is made of cheese
With a smile that suggests John Cleese
But I think it's a waste
That something can taste
Like Methusela's knobbly knees.


What did you think of Lucretia?

Sir_Nigel
05-14-2009, 06:36 PM
What did you think of Lucretia?
She has BO, VD and alopecia

ad_lucem
05-14-2009, 06:52 PM
What did you think of Lucretia?
She has BO, VD and alopecia
But, other than that

archerjoe
05-14-2009, 08:39 PM
What did you think of Lucretia?
She has BO, VD and alopecia
But, other than that
and a psychotic cat

Matera the Mad
05-15-2009, 05:38 AM
What did you think of Lucretia?
She has BO, VD and alopecia
But, other than that
and a psychotic cat
She has some pretty good featia.


If my love were a rosebush so thorny

archerjoe
05-15-2009, 06:15 AM
If my love were a rosebush so thorny
I'd be covered with bandaids and horny

Nymtoc
05-15-2009, 06:29 AM
If my love were a rosebush so thorny
I'd be covered with bandaids and horny
But still, her sweet scent

Sir_Nigel
05-15-2009, 02:05 PM
If my love were a rosebush so thorny
I'd be covered with bandaids and horny
But still, her sweet scent
means my time would be spent

flyingtart
05-15-2009, 06:15 PM
If my love were a rosebush so thorny
I'd be covered with bandaids and horny
But still, her sweet scent
means my time would be spent
Composing love poems so corny.


Was Shakespeare the master of prose?

Matera the Mad
05-16-2009, 07:00 AM
Was Shakespeare the master of prose?
Or did the Bard turn up his nose

flyingtart
05-16-2009, 08:28 PM
Was Shakespeare the master of prose?
Or did the Bard turn up his nose
Preferring to rhyme

donroc
05-16-2009, 09:30 PM
Was Shakespeare the master of prose?
Or did the Bard turn up his nose
Preferring to rhyme
All his sonnets sublime

Nymtoc
05-16-2009, 09:52 PM
Was Shakespeare the master of prose?
Or did the Bard turn up his nose
Preferring to rhyme
All his sonnets sublime
So iambic's the meter he chose?
:e2writer:

She lit a new candle each night

Matera the Mad
05-17-2009, 07:48 AM
She lit a new candle each night
Inspired by her true-love's plight

flyingtart
05-17-2009, 06:27 PM
She lit a new candle each night
Inspired by her true-love's plight
And wrote him a letter

Matera the Mad
05-18-2009, 07:09 AM
She lit a new candle each night
Inspired by her true-love's plight
And wrote him a letter
His heart to unfetter

flyingtart
05-18-2009, 07:08 PM
She lit a new candle each night
Inspired by her true-love's plight
And wrote him a letter
His heart to unfetter
But sadly the contents were shite.

Poor Nell met an untimely end

talkwrite
05-19-2009, 02:17 AM
Poor Nell met an untimely end
After her taxes she did send

ad_lucem
05-19-2009, 02:21 AM
Poor Nell met an untimely end
After her taxes she did send
Hit by a truck

Matera the Mad
05-19-2009, 06:08 AM
Poor Nell met an untimely end
After her taxes she did send
Hit by a truck
To the pavement she stuck

Kmcelhinny
05-19-2009, 07:01 AM
Poor Nell met an untimely end
After her taxes she did send
Hit by a truck
To the pavement she stuck
She lays flat still cursing her luck

MarkR
05-19-2009, 07:31 AM
You mind if I start this one? I'm just trying to keep things going and I thought the Adam and Eve ones were such fun.


While Eve talked to a snake in the tree.

Matera the Mad
05-19-2009, 11:09 AM
While Eve talked to a snake in the tree
Adam tried to tune in MTV

archerjoe
05-19-2009, 04:18 PM
While Eve talked to a snake in the tree
Adam tried to tune in MTV
"Who is Kurt Loder?"

donroc
05-19-2009, 04:45 PM
While Eve talked to a snake in the tree
Adam tried to tune in MTV
"Who is Kurt Loder?"
The Da Vinci Coder?

flyingtart
05-19-2009, 06:38 PM
While Eve talked to a snake in the tree
Adam tried to tune in MTV
"Who is Kurt Loder?"
The Da Vinci Coder?"
"Well it's no use looking at me!"


The Queen smiled so sweetly and said

Sir_Nigel
05-19-2009, 06:42 PM
The Queen smiled so sweetly and said
I ordered a QUEEN-SIZED BED!!!

archerjoe
05-19-2009, 07:17 PM
The Queen smiled so sweetly and said
I ordered a QUEEN-SIZED BED!!!
This one's a twin

ad_lucem
05-19-2009, 08:16 PM
The Queen smiled so sweetly and said
I ordered a QUEEN-SIZED BED!!!
This one's a twin
And I'm tired of when...

Matera the Mad
05-20-2009, 04:37 AM
The Queen smiled so sweetly and said
I ordered a QUEEN-SIZED BED!!!
This one's a twin
And I'm tired of when
I roll over and bump my poor head.


The King took a moment to think

StephanieFox
05-20-2009, 08:33 AM
The King took a moment to think
Then turned to The Queen with a wink

ad_lucem
05-20-2009, 09:03 AM
The King took a moment to think
Then turned to The Queen with a wink
Horny Goat Weed in hand

archerjoe
05-20-2009, 06:47 PM
The King took a moment to think
Then turned to The Queen with a wink
Horny Goat Weed in hand
"Let's strke up the band!"

Nymtoc
05-21-2009, 02:29 AM
The King took a moment to think
Then turned to The Queen with a wink
Horny Goat Weed in hand
"Let's strike up the band!"
"But first," said she. "Pour me a drink."

:e2crown:

She rode on a swift palomino

archerjoe
05-21-2009, 02:51 AM
She rode on a swift palomino
In her bota, a quart of fine vino

donroc
05-21-2009, 02:56 AM
She rode on a swift palomino
In her bota, a quart of fine vino
Her flamenco was hot

Matera the Mad
05-21-2009, 07:09 AM
She rode on a swift palomino
In her bota, a quart of fine vino
Her flamenco was hot
But her kissing was not

Nymtoc
05-21-2009, 07:48 AM
She rode on a swift palomino
In her bota, a quart of fine vino
Her flamenco was hot
But her kissing was not,
Though her lips were a bright maraschino.

In a tumble-down shack on a hill

ad_lucem
05-21-2009, 07:55 AM
In a tumble-down shack on a hill
Lived a woman, we'll call her Jill

Matera the Mad
05-21-2009, 07:57 AM
In a tumble-down shack on a hill
Lived a woman, we'll call her Jill
Her poor S.O., Jack,

Nymtoc
05-21-2009, 08:26 AM
In a tumble-down shack on a hill
Lived a woman, we'll call her Jill
Her poor S.O., Jack,
Was a pulp-fiction hack

K_Woods
05-21-2009, 10:36 AM
In a tumble-down shack on a hill
Lived a woman, we'll call her Jill
Her poor S.O., Jack,
Was a pulp-fiction hack
But his scraps made good fuel for the grill.

The bookworm's a curious creature

Rebekah7
05-21-2009, 10:54 AM
The bookworm's a curious creature
That fell in love with a preacher

Sir_Nigel
05-21-2009, 03:09 PM
The bookworm's a curious creature
That fell in love with a preacher
“I’m yours” it declared

flyingtart
05-21-2009, 05:36 PM
The bookworm's a curious creature
That fell in love with a preacher
“I’m yours” it declared
And his heart ensnared

Sir_Nigel
05-21-2009, 06:36 PM
The bookworm's a curious creature
That fell in love with a preacher
“I’m yours” it declared
And his heart ensnared
he said ‘You’re so nice I could eat ya’


He swallowed the scholarly worm

archerjoe
05-21-2009, 07:42 PM
He swallowed the scholarly worm
With no thought towards virus or germ

flyingtart
05-21-2009, 08:56 PM
He swallowed the scholarly worm
With no thought towards virus or germ
But found that it wriggled

Matera the Mad
05-22-2009, 04:21 AM
He swallowed the scholarly worm
With no thought towards virus or germ
But found that it wriggled
Inside him. He squiggled

Sir_Nigel
05-22-2009, 11:56 AM
He swallowed the scholarly worm
With no thought towards virus or germ
But found that it wriggled
Inside him. He squiggled
And unsure what to say he said ‘..Erm…’


I also don’t know what to say

flyingtart
05-22-2009, 05:54 PM
I also don’t know what to say
It puzzles me both night and day

archerjoe
05-22-2009, 11:08 PM
I also don’t know what to say
It puzzles me both night and day
American Idol

Matera the Mad
05-23-2009, 05:46 AM
I also don’t know what to say
It puzzles me both night and day
American Idol
Leaves my brain-cells idle

ad_lucem
05-23-2009, 06:23 AM
also don’t know what to say
It puzzles me both night and day
American Idol
Leaves my brain-cells idle
And meaningful thoughts float away!

I don't mean to be flippant

Matera the Mad
05-23-2009, 07:44 AM
I don't mean to be flippant
But sometimes I do slip and

flyingtart
05-23-2009, 01:31 PM
I don't mean to be flippant
But sometimes I do slip and
While tumbling down

Nymtoc
05-23-2009, 06:16 PM
I don't mean to be flippant
But sometimes I do slip and
While tumbling down
I may wear a frown

ad_lucem
05-23-2009, 07:05 PM
I don't mean to be flippant
But sometimes I do slip and
While tumbling down
I may wear a frown
But not because I'm a pissant.

Sometimes, you just need a stiff drink

archerjoe
05-23-2009, 07:24 PM
Sometimes, you just need a stiff drink
And I know what you need, I think

tinselcleo
05-23-2009, 08:39 PM
Sometimes, you just need a stiff drink
And I know what you need, I think
A Jack and Coke

Kmcelhinny
05-23-2009, 09:46 PM
Sometimes, you just need a stiff drink
And I know what you need, I think
A Jack and Coke
A rum and a smoke

Matera the Mad
05-24-2009, 08:08 AM
Sometimes, you just need a stiff drink
And I know what you need, I think
A Jack and Coke
A rum and a smoke
And a big chair in which you can sink


Right now, I'm on top of the world

flyingtart
05-24-2009, 05:03 PM
Right now, I'm on top of the world
My hair is all powdered and curled

donroc
05-24-2009, 05:39 PM
Right now, I'm on top of the world
My hair is all powdered and curled
Hey, look at me, Ma'.

archerjoe
05-24-2009, 06:42 PM
Right now, I'm on top of the world
My hair is all powdered and curled
Hey, look at me, Ma'.
I look just like Pa

Bobster
05-24-2009, 10:58 PM
Right now, I'm on top of the world
My hair is all powdered and curled
Hey, look at me, Ma'.
I look just like Pa
Way back when that man was a girl

I found an old 30's zoot suit

flyingtart
05-24-2009, 11:19 PM
I found an old 30's zoot suit
With trimmings that made me look cute

Matera the Mad
05-25-2009, 03:49 AM
I found an old 30's zoot suit
With trimmings that made me look cute
I wore it to work

Nymtoc
05-25-2009, 03:57 AM
I found an old 30's zoot suit
With trimmings that made me look cute
I wore it to work
My boss said, "You jerk!"

Matera the Mad
05-25-2009, 04:21 AM
I found an old 30's zoot suit
With trimmings that made me look cute
I wore it to work
My boss said, "You jerk!"
Unemployed, I am quite out of loot


Whatever became of that nincompoop

flyingtart
05-25-2009, 10:06 PM
Whatever became of that nincompoop
Who sat on the grass drinking chicken soup

donroc
05-25-2009, 10:12 PM
Whatever became of that nincompoop
Who sat on the grass drinking chicken soup
In green Golden Gate Park

Matera the Mad
05-26-2009, 07:06 AM
Whatever became of that nincompoop
Who sat on the grass drinking chicken soup
In green Golden Gate Park
Till it was almost dark

Sir_Nigel
05-26-2009, 01:04 PM
Whatever became of that nincompoop
Who sat on the grass drinking chicken soup
In green Golden Gate Park
Till it was almost dark?
- He fell in a great pile of stinkin’ poop.

A two-headed lady from Brest

flyingtart
05-26-2009, 07:28 PM
A two-headed lady from Brest
Put all of her men to the test

Nymtoc
05-26-2009, 07:55 PM
A two-headed lady from Brest
Put all of her men to the test
Not one would succeed

Pthom
05-26-2009, 11:43 PM
A two-headed lady from Brest
Put all of her men to the test
Not one would succeed
But many would bleed

Matera the Mad
05-27-2009, 10:34 AM
A two-headed lady from Brest
Put all of her men to the test
Not one would succeed
But many would bleed
For she bit them to prove who was best


A double-fanged vampire was she

Rebekah7
05-27-2009, 10:38 AM
A double-fanged vampire was she
Who eschewed the neck for the knee

Sir_Nigel
05-27-2009, 12:03 PM
A double-fanged vampire was she
Who eschewed the neck for the knee
As she chewed your patella

donroc
05-27-2009, 03:17 PM
A double-fanged vampire was she
Who eschewed the neck for the knee
As she chewed your patella
She sang a capella

Nymtoc
05-27-2009, 03:29 PM
A double-fanged vampire was she
Who eschewed the neck for the knee
As she chewed your patella
She sang a capella
And munched your meniscus with glee.

A man who climbed buildings for fun

flyingtart
05-27-2009, 03:57 PM
A man who climbed buildings for fun
Went everywhere armed with a gun

Sir_Nigel
05-27-2009, 05:57 PM
A man who climbed buildings for fun
Went everywhere armed with a gun
with murderous intent

Rebekah7
05-27-2009, 07:26 PM
A man who climbed buildings for fun
Went everywhere armed with a gun
with murderous intent
He stole a large vent

archerjoe
05-27-2009, 09:28 PM
A man who climbed buildings for fun
Went everywhere armed with a gun
with murderous intent
He stole a large vent
Fell inside, his climbing is done

My clothing, when summer is here

Nymtoc
05-27-2009, 10:28 PM
My clothing, when summer is here
Is light, she said, and no brassiere

Pthom
05-28-2009, 03:24 AM
"My clothing, when summer is here
Is light," she said, "and no brassiere
To hamper my style

ad_lucem
05-28-2009, 04:37 AM
"My clothing, when summer is here
Is light," she said, "and no brassiere
To hamper my style
Or to pinch me while

Matera the Mad
05-28-2009, 08:56 AM
"My clothing, when summer is here
Is light," she said, "and no brassiere
To hamper my style
Or to pinch me while
I'm wiggling my scantly clad rear


"Oh dear," said the maidenly aunt

Rebekah7
05-28-2009, 11:01 AM
"Oh dear," said the maidenly aunt
While looking at the burning plant

Sir_Nigel
05-28-2009, 11:15 AM
"Oh dear," said the maidenly aunt
While looking at the burning plant
‘You shameless young hussy’

flyingtart
05-28-2009, 07:42 PM
"Oh dear," said the maidenly aunt
While looking at the burning plant
‘You shameless young hussy’
You can't be too fussy

archerjoe
05-29-2009, 06:19 AM
"Oh dear," said the maidenly aunt
While looking at the burning plant
‘You shameless young hussy’
You can't be too fussy
When I talk to foliage, I rant

Now that kids are on summer break

Matera the Mad
05-29-2009, 09:57 AM
Now that kids are on summer break
The whole neighborhood's kept awake

flyingtart
05-29-2009, 04:01 PM
Now that kids are on summer break
The whole neighborhood's kept awake
With incessant skating

Sir_Nigel
05-29-2009, 04:50 PM
Now that kids are on summer break
The whole neighborhood's kept awake
with incessant skating
and elephant castrating

flyingtart
05-29-2009, 06:14 PM
Now that kids are on summer break
The whole neighborhood's kept awake
with incessant skating
and elephant castrating
Till all hours, for Goodness' Sake!

Don't ever put glue on your face

Pthom
05-30-2009, 01:39 AM
Don't ever put glue on your face
You might have to kiss Auntie Grace!

Nymtoc
05-30-2009, 02:25 AM
Don't ever put glue on your face
You might have to kiss Auntie Grace!
And if you're all sticky

donroc
05-30-2009, 03:09 AM
Don't ever put glue on your face
You might have to kiss Auntie Grace!
And if you're all sticky
She'l make licky-licky

archerjoe
05-30-2009, 03:38 AM
Don't ever put glue on your face
You might have to kiss Auntie Grace!
And if you're all sticky
She'l make licky-licky
And probably spray you with mace

A daring young man from L.A.

Matera the Mad
05-30-2009, 08:07 AM
A daring young man from L.A.
Went starkers the first day of May

flyingtart
05-31-2009, 06:32 PM
A daring young man from L.A.
Went starkers the first day of May
He ran down the street

archerjoe
06-01-2009, 05:33 AM
A daring young man from L.A.
Went starkers the first day of May
He ran down the street
Track shoes on his feet

Kmcelhinny
06-01-2009, 05:52 AM
A daring young man from L.A.
Went starkers the first day of May
He ran down the street
Track shoes on his feet
Getting into the people's way!

Matera the Mad
06-01-2009, 06:43 AM
A young expert in versification

Sir_Nigel
06-01-2009, 11:50 AM
A young expert in versification
for a rhyme searched in sheer desperation

archerjoe
06-01-2009, 02:32 PM
A young expert in versification
for a rhyme searched in sheer desperation
She scoured the web

Nymtoc
06-01-2009, 03:33 PM
A young expert in versification
for a rhyme searched in sheer desperation
She scoured the web,
Found no rhyme for "cubeb,"