Limericks Live!

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Solatium

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A salesman walked into a bar
Pitching lies about some old used car
When the bartender said:
"Are you out of your head?

---

The traffic was bumper to bumper
When I went out to buy a new jumper

(Yeah? Let's see you do better.)
 

threedogpeople

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A salesman walked into a bar
Pitching lies about some old used car
When the bartender said:
"Are you out of your head?
All it's engine parts come in a jar"

---

The traffic was bumper to bumper
When I went out to buy a new jumper
The store clerk was crass
 

Pat~

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The traffic was bumper to bumper
When I went out to buy a new jumper
The store clerk was crass
And tried to harass
 

Meaney

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The traffic was bumper to bumper
When I went out to buy a new jumper
The store clerk was crass
And tried to harass
me for choosing one featuring Thumper
(does anyone remember Bambi?)

My mother was taken away
 

Pthom

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(does anyone remember Bambi? ---- yes, I do.)

My mother was taken away
And I really had nothing to say



(do you remember when Bambi met Godzilla?)
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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My mother was taken away
And I really had nothing to say
Instead, to avenge her,
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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My mother was taken away
And I really had nothing to say
Instead, to avenge her,
I decided to venture
a pox on the whole NRA

My accountant is quite the magician
 

Pthom

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My accountant is quite the magician:
Looking out for my fiscal position.
 

reph

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My accountant is quite the magician:
Looking out for my fiscal position.
But dollars and cents
because I am dense
Still elude me despite all my wishin'.

It has lights, bells, and five fancy levers
 

reph

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On a fig tree, presumably
It has lights, bells, and five fancy levers
Starting it takes damn near forever
But, I give it a try
Whoops! I'm up in the sky!
 

Pthom

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It has lights, bells, and five fancy levers
Starting it takes damn near forever
But, I give it a try
Whoops! I'm up in the sky!
It's a plane, not a car -- Oh, whatever!



Gilbert and Sullivan plays are a hoot
 

Pthom

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I think I screwed up. My prompt doesn't fit the meter, and threedogpeople's second line is even worse (although I think this could go in another venue, it's gonna be a stretch to make this a limerick).

So, lemme try over:

Old Gilbert and Sullivan's rhymes
 

Pat~

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Old Gilbert and Sullivan's rhymes
Have been sung to their tunes many times
 

poetinahat

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Old Gilbert and Sullivan's rhymes
Have been sung to their tunes many times
But their water ballet
 

Pat~

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Old Gilbert and Sullivan's rhymes
Have been sung to their tunes many times
But their water ballet
Was less known in its day
 

Pthom

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Old Gilbert and Sullivan's rhymes
Have been sung to their tunes many times
But their water ballet
Was less known in its day
'Cause they lived in such freezing cold climes!


A ballet of chimps is just silly
 

Pat~

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A ballet of chimps is just silly
Their dance moves are all willy-nilly
 

poetinahat

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A ballet of chimps is just silly
Their dance moves are all willy-nilly
And they interpret Swan Lake
 
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