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oneblindmouse
01-23-2009, 08:19 PM
Vampirette had a ghoulish allure
But her suitors got fewer and fewer
She sucked them dry
In order to fly

donroc
01-23-2009, 08:23 PM
Vampirette had a ghoulish allure
But her suitors got fewer and fewer
She sucked them dry
In order to fly
To her next Bloody Mary de jour.

The Lycans are coming, hurrah!

Pthom
01-24-2009, 05:25 AM
The Lycans are coming, hurrah!
Let's all go meet them in the raw!

Deccydiva
01-24-2009, 02:51 PM
The Lycans are coming, hurrah!
Let's all go meet them in the raw!
Blowing our whistles

Nymtoc
01-24-2009, 05:06 PM
The Lycans are coming, hurrah!
Let's all go meet them in the raw!
Blowing our whistles
While brushing off thistles

K1P1
01-24-2009, 05:35 PM
The Lycans are coming, hurrah!
Let's all go meet them in the raw!
Blowing our whistles
While brushing off thistles
And burning our least favorite bra.

There once was a brave legislator

Deccydiva
01-24-2009, 05:59 PM
There once was a brave legislator
Who had a full grown alligator

K1P1
01-24-2009, 06:14 PM
There once was a brave legislator
Who had a full grown alligator
He walked it each day

flyingtart
01-24-2009, 08:58 PM
There once was a brave legislator
Who had a full grown alligator
He walked it each day
In a casual way

Deccydiva
01-24-2009, 08:59 PM
There once was a brave legislator
Who had a full grown alligator
He walked it each day
Keeping out of the way

oneblindmouse
01-24-2009, 09:38 PM
There once was a brave legislator
Who had a full grown alligator
He walked it each day
In a casual way
But never found someone to mate her.

The problem with having no nose

Nymtoc
01-24-2009, 10:03 PM
The problem with having no nose
Is that one cannot smell a rose

oneblindmouse
01-24-2009, 10:41 PM
The problem with having no nose
Is that one cannot smell a rose
No matter how pungent

Nymtoc
01-24-2009, 10:51 PM
The problem with having no nose
Is that one cannot smell a rose
No matter how pungent
Olfaction is done, gent,

donroc
01-24-2009, 10:55 PM
The problem with having no nose
Is that one cannot smell a rose
No matter how pungent
Olfaction is done, gent,
But I still hear Cher on my Bose.

One Prince in the Tower was sad

Nymtoc
01-24-2009, 11:11 PM
One Prince in the Tower was sad.
His brother said, "Uncle Rick's bad."

flyingtart
01-24-2009, 11:28 PM
One Prince in the Tower was sad.
His brother said, "Uncle Rick's bad.
The glint in his eye

Nymtoc
01-25-2009, 10:09 AM
One Prince in the Tower was sad.
His brother said, "Uncle Rick's bad.
The glint in his eye
Means he wants us to die

oneblindmouse
01-25-2009, 03:14 PM
One Prince in the Tower was sad.
His brother said, "Uncle Rick's bad.
The glint in his eye
Means he wants us to die,
Our demise would make him quite glad."

Poor Richard was unfairly blamed

Nymtoc
01-25-2009, 03:51 PM
Poor Richard was unfairly blamed,
Or so his apologists claimed

flyingtart
01-25-2009, 07:16 PM
Poor Richard was unfairly blamed,
Or so his apologists claimed
It was not he

MsK
01-25-2009, 08:15 PM
Poor Richard was unfairly blamed,
Or so his apologists claimed
It was not he
Who started the melee

K1P1
01-25-2009, 10:21 PM
Poor Richard was unfairly blamed,
Or so his apologists claimed
It was not he
Who started the melee
"It's true, I was actually framed!"

When Clarence was drowned in the butt

Nymtoc
01-26-2009, 07:42 AM
When Clarence was drowned in the butt.
Some called him a wine-swilling mutt

oneblindmouse
01-26-2009, 01:38 PM
When Clarence was drowned in the butt.
Some called him a wine-swilling mutt,
But given the chance

flyingtart
01-26-2009, 03:31 PM
When Clarence was drowned in the butt.
Some called him a wine-swilling mutt,
But given the chance
He'd happily dance

Sir_Nigel
01-26-2009, 07:07 PM
When Clarence was drowned in the butt.
Some called him a wine-swilling mutt,
But given the chance
He'd happily dance
And boy could that dead wino strut


If you’re shoved in a barrel head first

Nymtoc
01-26-2009, 07:28 PM
If you’re shoved in a barrel head first
Use your head and start slaking your thirst.

oneblindmouse
01-26-2009, 10:04 PM
If you’re shoved in a barrel head first
Use your head and start slaking your thirst.
Enjoy all you swallow

Autodidact
01-26-2009, 10:29 PM
If you’re shoved in a barrel head first
Use your head and start slaking your thirst.
Enjoy all you swallow
for what surely will follow

Deccydiva
01-26-2009, 10:49 PM
If you’re shoved in a barrel head first
Use your head and start slaking your thirst.
Enjoy all you swallow
for what surely will follow
An imminent wish that you'll burst!


I went shopping for pizza and peas

Nymtoc
01-27-2009, 01:12 AM
I went shopping for pizza and peas
And a barrel of Limburger cheese

donroc
01-27-2009, 01:30 AM
I went shopping for pizza and peas
And a barrel of Limburger cheese
My breath became rancid

Nymtoc
01-27-2009, 02:00 AM
I went shopping for pizza and peas
And a barrel of Limburger cheese
My breath became rancid,
Like dog doo enhan-ced,

K1P1
01-27-2009, 02:40 AM
I went shopping for pizza and peas
And a barrel of Limburger cheese
My breath became rancid,
Like dog doo enhan-ced.
Some Listerine, quick, if you please!

The darkness is thicker than muck

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 02:46 AM
The darkness is thicker than muck
Which seldom increases my luck

Pthom
01-27-2009, 03:31 AM
The darkness is thicker than muck
Which seldom increases my luck
But I have these matches

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 01:58 PM
The darkness is thicker than muck
Which seldom increases my luck
But I have these matches
And gelignite patches

flyingtart
01-27-2009, 02:53 PM
The darkness is thicker than muck
Which seldom increases my luck
But I have these matches
And gelignite patches
To be honest I don't give a f***!


They called her the Red Bitch of Krakow

Sir_Nigel
01-27-2009, 03:25 PM
They called her the Red Bitch of Krakow
- a town she would fain see the back of

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 03:27 PM
They called her the Red Bitch of Krakow
- a town she would fain see the back of;
Her venom and spite

Sir_Nigel
01-27-2009, 06:02 PM
They called her the Red Bitch of Krakow
- a town she would fain see the back of;
Her venom and spite
in a girl on girl fight

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 06:09 PM
They called her the Red Bitch of Krakow
- a town she would fain see the back of;
Her venom and spite
in a girl on girl fight
revealed simply what she had a knack of.

Sir Nigel just comes here to frolic

Nymtoc
01-27-2009, 06:12 PM
Sir Nigel just comes here to frolic
His muse is a tad diabolic

flyingtart
01-27-2009, 06:12 PM
Sir Nigel just comes here to frolic
His muse is a tad diabolic
The wit of his rhymes

Deccydiva
01-27-2009, 06:17 PM
Sir Nigel just comes here to frolic
His muse is a tad diabolic
The wit of his rhymes
Is a sign of the times

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 06:19 PM
Sir Nigel just comes here to frolic
His muse is a tad diabolic
The wit of his rhymes
Is a sign of the times
And usually gives me a colic.

I'm starving and craving my lunch

Sir_Nigel
01-27-2009, 06:32 PM
I'm starving and craving my lunch
Me too I’m…. munch munch munch munch

donroc
01-27-2009, 06:34 PM
I'm starving and craving my lunch
Me too I’m…. munch munch munch munch
But my post-prandial

Nymtoc
01-27-2009, 09:32 PM
I'm starving and craving my lunch
Me too I’m…. munch munch munch munch
But my post-prandial
Will be purely brandy-al

oneblindmouse
01-27-2009, 09:46 PM
I'm starving and craving my lunch
Me too I’m…. munch munch munch munch
But my post-prandial
Will be purely brandy-al
And nothing at all like a brunch.

In the end I just had a sandwich

K1P1
01-28-2009, 05:08 PM
In the end I just had a sandwich
Finding bread was a trial and bitch

donroc
01-28-2009, 05:35 PM
In the end I just had a sandwich
Finding bread was a trial and bitch
So I tried stale matzoh

Sir_Nigel
01-28-2009, 07:36 PM
In the end I just had a sandwich
Finding bread was a trial and bitch
So I tried stale matzoh
(I’m a gluttonous fatso)

Deccydiva
01-29-2009, 02:36 AM
In the end I just had a sandwich
Finding bread was a trial and bitch
So I tried stale matzoh
(I’m a gluttonous fatso)
And fell sound asleep in a ditch.

It's my birthday and I'm all alone

Pthom
01-29-2009, 02:56 AM
It's my birthday and I'm all alone
Except for this (ow!) kidney stone.

Nymtoc
01-29-2009, 12:26 PM
It's my birthday and I'm all alone
Except for this (ow!) kidney stone.
Still, I'm baking a cake

Sir_Nigel
01-29-2009, 01:14 PM
It's my birthday and I'm all alone
Except for this (ow!) kidney stone.
Still, I'm baking a cake
for my forthcoming wake

Deccydiva
01-29-2009, 01:54 PM
It's my birthday and I'm all alone
Except for this (ow!) kidney stone.
Still, I'm baking a cake
for my forthcoming wake
Then I'll issue the invites by phone.


I won a small prize on the Lotto;

Sir_Nigel
01-29-2009, 02:43 PM
I won a small prize on the Lotto
So I bought a small African potto

Nymtoc
01-29-2009, 03:14 PM
I won a small prize on the Lotto
So I bought a small African potto.
It's really quite quiet

Deccydiva
01-29-2009, 04:23 PM
I won a small prize on the Lotto
So I bought a small African potto.
It's really quite quiet
But has a strange diet

flyingtart
01-29-2009, 04:29 PM
I won a small prize on the Lotto
So I bought a small African potto.
It's really quite quiet
But has a strange diet
Of marzipan, cheese and risotto.


A lady who lives down our street

K1P1
01-29-2009, 08:52 PM
A lady who lives down our street
Proved impossible for me to meet

Nymtoc
01-29-2009, 09:38 PM
A lady who lives down our street
Proved impossible for me to meet,
So I camped on her lawn

oneblindmouse
01-29-2009, 09:50 PM
A lady who lives down our street
Proved impossible for me to meet,
So I camped on her lawn
Amidst the frogspawn

Sir_Nigel
01-30-2009, 01:02 PM
A lady who lives down our street
Proved impossible for me to meet,
So I camped on her lawn
Amidst the frogspawn
And flung myself down at her feet

‘I’m calling the coppers’ she said

Nymtoc
01-30-2009, 02:23 PM
‘I’m calling the coppers’ she said.
'Try that stunt again and you're dead.'

K1P1
01-30-2009, 04:28 PM
‘I’m calling the coppers’ she said.
'Try that stunt again and you're dead.
You're crushing my roses!

donroc
01-30-2009, 05:07 PM
‘I’m calling the coppers’ she said.
'Try that stunt again and you're dead.
You're crushing my roses!
Now get off my toeses!

flyingtart
01-30-2009, 05:52 PM
I’m calling the coppers’ she said.
'Try that stunt again and you're dead.
You're crushing my roses!
Now get off my toeses!
Before I lock you up in my shed!'


The police were the first on the scene

oneblindmouse
01-30-2009, 07:28 PM
The police were the first on the scene
And, boy, were they nasty and mean

Nymtoc
01-30-2009, 10:49 PM
The police were the first on the scene
And, boy, were they nasty and mean
They shoved me around

flyingtart
01-30-2009, 11:50 PM
The police were the first on the scene
And, boy, were they nasty and mean
They shoved me around
Without making a sound

onestepp
01-31-2009, 10:02 PM
The police were the first on the scene
And, boy, were they nasty and mean,
They shoved me around
Without making a sound
Into their car I did careen.

The soccer team played wild and free

Nymtoc
01-31-2009, 11:07 PM
The soccer team played wild and free
But sadly, they lost 4 to 3

donroc
02-01-2009, 12:42 AM
The soccer team played wild and free
But sadly, they lost 4 to 3.
The crowd went berserk

Nymtoc
02-01-2009, 01:30 AM
The soccer team played wild and free
But sadly, they lost 4 to 3.
The crowd went berserk
"That goalie's a jerk!"

WittyWordsmith
02-01-2009, 02:28 AM
The soccer team played wild and free
But sadly, they lost 4 to 3.
The crowd went berserk
"That goalie's a jerk!"
But he yelled, "Don't blame it on me!"

Deccydiva
02-01-2009, 02:29 AM
The soccer team played wild and free
But sadly, they lost 4 to 3.
The crowd went berserk
"That goalie's a jerk!"
then went off on a riotous spree.

The country's gone into recession

WittyWordsmith
02-01-2009, 02:32 AM
The country's gone into recession
Some think it feels like a depression

K1P1
02-01-2009, 05:59 AM
The country's gone into recession
Some think it feels like a depression
If I got my wish

Nymtoc
02-01-2009, 08:03 AM
The country's gone into recession
Some think it feels like a depression
If I got my wish
CEOs are dead fish

WittyWordsmith
02-01-2009, 11:46 AM
The country's gone into recession
Some think it feels like a depression
If I got my wish
CEOs are dead fish
And then they would all learn their lesson!




I haven't done laundry since Friday

flyingtart
02-01-2009, 02:55 PM
I haven't done laundry since Friday
Which makes my apparel untidy

WittyWordsmith
02-01-2009, 09:49 PM
I haven't done laundry since Friday
Which makes my apparel untidy
My friends say I stink

donroc
02-01-2009, 11:15 PM
I haven't done laundry since Friday
Which makes my apparel untidy
My friends say I stink
Like an unwashed skink

Nymtoc
02-02-2009, 12:48 AM
I haven't done laundry since Friday
Which makes my apparel untidy
My friends say I stink
Like an unwashed skink
I just say, "My regret's bona fide."

:cool:

When Nimrod constructed a tower
________________


http://h1.ripway.com/chaud/FAIRYG3400.JPG

donroc
02-02-2009, 12:50 AM
When Nimrod constructed a tower
The Lord looked down with a glower

Nymtoc
02-02-2009, 01:41 AM
When Nimrod constructed a tower
The Lord looked down with a glower
"How darest thou try

________________

http://h1.ripway.com/chaud/FAIRYG3400.JPG

Woof
02-02-2009, 01:43 AM
When Nimrod constructed a tower
The Lord looked down with a glower
"How darest thou try
To reach for the sky?"

WittyWordsmith
02-02-2009, 01:45 AM
When Nimrod constructed a tower
The Lord looked down with a glower
"How darest thou try
To reach for the sky?"
Then Nimrod was dead in an hour.



One time, I saw an new world

StephanieFox
02-02-2009, 03:41 AM
One time, I saw a new world
'Twas a vision, like a flag it unfurled.

WittyWordsmith
02-02-2009, 09:03 AM
One time, I saw a new world
'Twas a vision, like a flag it unfurled.
Before my bright eyes

Sir_Nigel
02-02-2009, 02:09 PM
One time, I saw a new world
'Twas a vision, like a flag it unfurled.
Before my bright eyes
flew two custard pies

flyingtart
02-02-2009, 06:31 PM
One time, I saw a new world
'Twas a vision, like a flag it unfurled.
Before my bright eyes
flew two custard pies
Which were by a protester hurled.


In the year nineteen seventy eight

Woof
02-02-2009, 06:31 PM
One time, I saw a new world
'Twas a vision, like a flag it unfurled.
Before my bright eyes
flew two custard pies
Which right in my face were hurled.


There once was a man with a tusk

Nymtoc
02-02-2009, 06:46 PM
There once was a man with a tusk
Whose manner was gratingly brusque

________________
http://h1.ripway.com/chaud/FAIRYG3400.JPG

Woof
02-02-2009, 06:50 PM
There once was a man with a tusk
Whose manner was gratingly brusque
He gored all his friends

Joycecwilliams
02-02-2009, 10:28 PM
There once was a man with a tusk
Whose manner was gratingly brusque
He gored all his friends
They were friends to the end

flyingtart
02-02-2009, 11:31 PM
There once was a man with a tusk
Whose manner was gratingly brusque
He gored all his friends
They were friends to the end
For they loved his aroma of musk.


In the year nineteen seventy eight

donroc
02-02-2009, 11:50 PM
In the year nineteen seventy eight
I packed a great deal of weight

Pthom
02-03-2009, 01:48 AM
In the year nineteen seventy eight
I packed a great deal of weight
But since then I stopped

WittyWordsmith
02-03-2009, 02:21 AM
In the year nineteen seventy eight
I packed a great deal of weight
But since then I stopped
And shaved off my mop

Pthom
02-03-2009, 02:40 AM
In the year nineteen seventy eight
I packed a great deal of weight
But since then I stopped
And shaved off my mop
And now can eat all on my plate.

:D

O, wonderous, glorious hair!

Deccydiva
02-03-2009, 02:43 AM
O, wonderous, glorious hair!
Maintained with a great deal of care

WittyWordsmith
02-03-2009, 03:17 AM
O, wonderous, glorious hair!
Maintained with a great deal of care
Why must you fall out?

donroc
02-03-2009, 03:23 AM
O, wonderous, glorious hair!
Maintained with a great deal of care
Why must you fall out?
But grow in my snout

Nymtoc
02-03-2009, 03:34 AM
O, wonderous, glorious hair!
Maintained with a great deal of care
Why must you fall out
But grow in my snout?
I no longer feel debonair.

;)

I'm rowing my way to Tasmania

oneblindmouse
02-03-2009, 02:16 PM
I'm rowing my way to Tasmania
not knowing of anything zanier

Deccydiva
02-03-2009, 02:47 PM
I'm rowing my way to Tasmania
not knowing of anything zanier
I have a fine crew

donroc
02-03-2009, 04:23 PM
I'm rowing my way to Tasmania
not knowing of anything zanier
I have a fine crew
And the Bounty's best brew

flyingtart
02-03-2009, 04:39 PM
I'm rowing my way to Tasmania
not knowing of anything zanier
I have a fine crew
And the Bounty's best brew
Do you think I am suffering from mania?


She rode like the wind through the night

Nymtoc
02-03-2009, 09:14 PM
She rode like the wind through the night
And she looked an absolute fright

donroc
02-03-2009, 09:16 PM
She rode like the wind through the night
And she looked an absolute fright
With a wen on her nose

oneblindmouse
02-03-2009, 10:14 PM
She rode like the wind through the night
And she looked an absolute fright
With a wen on her nose
And old laddered hose

donroc
02-04-2009, 12:12 AM
She rode like the wind through the night
And she looked an absolute fright
With a wen on her nose
And old laddered hose
Her Immelmans caused much delight.

Richthofen loved his red Fokker

flyingtart
02-04-2009, 12:53 AM
Richthofen loved his red Fokker
Which made him a bit of a sucker

WittyWordsmith
02-04-2009, 01:50 AM
Richthofen loved his red Fokker
Which made him a bit of a sucker
When it flew through the air

flyingtart
02-04-2009, 02:36 PM
Richthofen loved his red Fokker
Which made him a bit of a sucker
When it flew through the air
People everywhere

Nymtoc
02-04-2009, 03:22 PM
Richthofen loved his red Fokker
Which made him a bit of a sucker
When it flew through the air
People everywhere
Said, "We'll get Snoopy to bring down that joker."

:snoopy:

Few were shrewder than Nic Machiavelli

Woof
02-04-2009, 05:00 PM
Few were shrewder than Nic Machiavelli
Or had more ambition in their belly

Nymtoc
02-04-2009, 05:27 PM
Few were shrewder than Nic Machiavelli
Or had more ambition in their belly
Princes must maintain power

Woof
02-04-2009, 05:30 PM
Few were shrewder than Nic Machiavelli
Or had more ambition in their belly
Princes must maintain power
And live in an ivory tower

flyingtart
02-05-2009, 01:53 PM
Few were shrewder than Nic Machiavelli
Or had more ambition in their belly
Princes must maintain power
And live in an ivory tower
Even if like him they're quite smelly.


A fellow I know from Nantucket

Nymtoc
02-05-2009, 02:28 PM
A fellow I know from Nantucket
Tried writing but always would muck it

donroc
02-05-2009, 04:17 PM
A fellow I know from Nantucket
Tried writing but always would muck it
His plots were too thin

Nymtoc
02-05-2009, 04:55 PM
A fellow I know from Nantucket
Tried writing but always would muck it
His plots were too thin,
His syntax a sin

oneblindmouse
02-05-2009, 10:56 PM
A fellow I know from Nantucket
Tried writing but always would muck it
His plots were too thin,
His syntax a sin
And his characters lived in a bucket. ;)

No cussing's allowed on this forum

Sir_Nigel
02-06-2009, 05:17 PM
No cussing's allowed on this forum
We’re masters of taste and decorum

Nymtoc
02-06-2009, 05:31 PM
No cussing's allowed on this forum
We’re masters of taste and decorum
With some slight exceptions

Woof
02-06-2009, 06:30 PM
No cussing's allowed on this forum
We’re masters of taste and decorum
With some slight exceptions
And clever deceptions

flyingtart
02-06-2009, 06:40 PM
No cussing's allowed on this forum
We’re masters of taste and decorum
With some slight exceptions
And clever deceptions
That bypass the moderator quorum


A Scotsman went fishing with bait

Woof
02-06-2009, 06:44 PM
A Scotsman went fishing with bait
Along with a kilt-wearing mate

oneblindmouse
02-06-2009, 06:47 PM
A Scotsman went fishing with bait
which he kept in a small wicker crate

flyingtart
02-07-2009, 07:56 PM
A Scotsman went fishing with bait
which he kept in a small wicker crate
When he got out his rod

Nymtoc
02-07-2009, 08:09 PM
A Scotsman went fishing with bait
which he kept in a small wicker crate
When he got out his rod
He hooked a huge cod

Pthom
02-08-2009, 03:58 AM
A Scotsman went fishing with bait
which he kept in a small wicker crate
When he got out his rod
He hooked a huge cod
Which he sent off last year to Kuwait.

(pheeeieuie!)

Whenever I look in the mirror

Nymtoc
02-08-2009, 05:48 AM
Whenever I look in the mirror
An unwelcome fact becomes clearer

flyingtart
02-08-2009, 03:13 PM
Whenever I look in the mirror
An unwelcome fact becomes clearer
The wrinkles and lines

Pthom
02-09-2009, 04:24 AM
Whenever I look in the mirror
An unwelcome fact becomes clearer
The wrinkles and lines
Should be worthy of fines!

Sir_Nigel
02-09-2009, 02:03 PM
Whenever I look in the mirror
an unwelcome fact becomes clearer
The wrinkles and lines
Should be worthy of fines!
plus DEATH is that little bit nearer


I couldn’t believe what she said

Deccydiva
02-09-2009, 02:17 PM
I couldn’t believe what she said
As she slapped me and got out of bed

donroc
02-09-2009, 04:33 PM
I couldn’t believe what she said
As she slapped me and got out of bed.
"I refuse to do that."

Sir_Nigel
02-09-2009, 04:54 PM
I couldn’t believe what she said
As she slapped me and got out of bed.
"I refuse to do that.
That’s my grandmother’s cat.”

oneblindmouse
02-09-2009, 05:44 PM
I couldn’t believe what she said
As she slapped me and got out of bed.
"I refuse to do that.
That’s my grandmother’s cat.
And this is the gardener's shed."

The answer to all of our troubles

Sir_Nigel
02-09-2009, 06:30 PM
The answer to all of our troubles
is a red-headed hooker named Bubbles.

oneblindmouse
02-09-2009, 07:27 PM
The answer to all of our troubles
is a red-headed hooker named Bubbles.
She's great with her hands

flyingtart
02-09-2009, 07:59 PM
The answer to all of our troubles
is a red-headed hooker named Bubbles.
She's great with her hands
And long rubber bands

Nymtoc
02-10-2009, 01:22 PM
The answer to all of our troubles
is a red-headed hooker named Bubbles.
She's great with her hands
And long rubber bands
That she snaps on guys' unshaven stubbles.

:rolleyes:

Marie liked her beer with a cherry

oneblindmouse
02-10-2009, 01:26 PM
Marie liked her beer with a cherry
It made her lighthearted and merry

flyingtart
02-10-2009, 06:05 PM
Marie liked her beer with a cherry
It made her lighthearted and merry
The guys in the bar

Sir_Nigel
02-10-2009, 07:29 PM
Marie liked her beer with a cherry
It made her lighthearted and merry
The guys in the bar,
- all pirates, cried ‘Ahaaargghh’

oneblindmouse
02-10-2009, 08:11 PM
Marie liked her beer with a cherry
It made her lighthearted and merry
The guys in the bar,
- all pirates, cried ‘Ahaaargghh’
while sipping their glasses of sherry.

I once had a one-legged parrot

Nymtoc
02-10-2009, 10:11 PM
I once had a one-legged parrot
Who fell for a two-headed ferret

oneblindmouse
02-10-2009, 10:29 PM
I once had a one-legged parrot
Who fell for a two-headed ferret
They rented a kite

Pthom
02-11-2009, 12:06 PM
I once had a one-legged parrot
Who fell for a two-headed ferret
They rented a kite
And went out at night

Nymtoc
02-11-2009, 01:05 PM
I once had a one-legged parrot
Who fell for a two-headed ferret
They rented a kite
And went out at night
To the lair of a bear who served claret.

;)

Maid Marian loved plucky Robin

flyingtart
02-11-2009, 05:01 PM
Maid Marian loved plucky Robin
Except for his habit of gobbin'

oneblindmouse
02-12-2009, 02:03 AM
Maid Marian loved plucky Robin
Except for his habit of gobbin'.
They lived in yon Sherwood

Nymtoc
02-12-2009, 07:37 PM
Maid Marian loved plucky Robin
Except for his habit of gobbin'.
They lived in yon Sherwood
Midst oak, elm and fir wood

talkwrite
02-13-2009, 12:11 AM
Maid Marian loved plucky Robin
Except for his habit of gobbin'.
They lived in yon Sherwood
Midst oak, elm and fir wood
Perfect for their distilling of gin

StephanieFox
02-13-2009, 07:39 AM
A scientist had an idea

flyingtart
02-13-2009, 02:19 PM
A scientist had an idea
About finding a cure for diarrhoea

Goodchild
02-13-2009, 02:23 PM
A scientist had an idea
About finding a cure for diarrhoea
He called up his mum

Nymtoc
02-13-2009, 03:52 PM
A scientist had an idea
About finding a cure for diarrhoea
He called up his mum,
Who swore by hot rum,

flyingtart
02-13-2009, 07:09 PM
A scientist had an idea
About finding a cure for diarrhoea
He called up his mum,
Who swore by hot rum,
But it only increased it, I fear.


The Dowager sipped on her gin

MsK
02-13-2009, 09:08 PM
The Dowager sipped on her gin
What a long time it had been

talkwrite
02-13-2009, 11:36 PM
The Dowager sipped on her gin
What a long time it had been
Chilled gin warmed her heart

flyingtart
02-14-2009, 12:01 AM
The Dowager sipped on her gin
What a long time it had been
Chilled gin warmed her heart
But then made her fart

StephanieFox
02-14-2009, 12:06 AM
The Dowager sipped on her gin
What a long time it had been
Chilled gin warmed her heart
But then made her fart
So she'll stick with her glasses of Zin



It's not a recession, he said.

Nymtoc
02-14-2009, 08:44 AM
It's not a recession, he said,
As he grimaced and bobbled his head,

Goodchild
02-14-2009, 03:14 PM
It's not a recession, he said,
As he grimaced and bobbled his head,
It's a financial drought, yes drought!

flyingtart
02-14-2009, 08:56 PM
It's not a recession, he said,
As he grimaced and bobbled his head,
It's a financial drought, yes drought!
Of that there's no doubt

Nymtoc
02-15-2009, 12:41 AM
It's not a recession, he said,
As he grimaced and bobbled his head,
It's a financial drought, yes drought!
Of that there's no doubt.
How much longer can we afford bread?

:Headbang:

When Wall Street execs stuff their pockets

oneblindmouse
02-15-2009, 02:50 AM
When Wall Street execs stuff their pockets
The rest of us stick pins in sockets

flyingtart
02-15-2009, 03:25 PM
When Wall Street execs stuff their pockets
The rest of us stick pins in sockets
Their increasing wealth

Nymtoc
02-15-2009, 03:35 PM
When Wall Street execs stuff their pockets
The rest of us stick pins in sockets
Their increasing wealth,
Their cunning and stealth,

MaybeThisTime
02-15-2009, 05:23 PM
When Wall Street execs stuff their pockets
The rest of us stick pins in sockets
Their increasing wealth,
Their cunning and stealth,
Will result, we can hope, in court dockets.


There once was a werewolf named Larry

oneblindmouse
02-16-2009, 12:16 AM
There once was a werewolf named Larry
Who fell for a vampire named Harry

donroc
02-16-2009, 01:53 AM
There once was a werewolf named Larry
Who fell for a vampire named Harry
By the light of the moon

Sir_Nigel
02-16-2009, 06:47 PM
There once was a werewolf named Larry
Who fell for a vampire named Harry
By the light of the moon
they devoured a Walloon

Nymtoc
02-16-2009, 06:59 PM
There once was a werewolf named Larry
Who fell for a vampire named Harry
By the light of the moon
they devoured a Walloon
Whose last words were "My, this is scary."

:hat:

When Huck and Jim took to the river

Goodchild
02-16-2009, 07:21 PM
When Huck and Jim took to the river
Their raft wobbled and quivered

oneblindmouse
02-16-2009, 07:25 PM
When Huck and Jim took to the river
Their raft wobbled and quivered,
They'd only one oar

Nymtoc
02-17-2009, 02:47 AM
When Huck and Jim took to the river
Their raft wobbled and quivered,
They'd only one oar
And they left it ashore

Goodchild
02-17-2009, 02:32 PM
When Huck and Jim took to the river
Their raft wobbled and quivered,
They'd only one oar
And they left it ashore
Now their timbers were truly shivered!


He said "My name is Mark Twain,

Sir_Nigel
02-17-2009, 05:09 PM
He said "My name is Mark Twain,!”
And then later he said it again

Nymtoc
02-17-2009, 05:21 PM
He said "My name is Mark Twain!”
And then later he said it again,
"Though some call me Sam

donroc
02-17-2009, 05:26 PM
He said "My name is Mark Twain!”
And then later he said it again,
"Though some call me Sam
From Hannibal, I am."

flyingtart
02-17-2009, 06:56 PM
He said "My name is Mark Twain!”
And then later he said it again,
"Though some call me Sam
From Hannibal, I am.
That's why I'm attached to this chain."


My cousin who lives in Corfu

Sir_Nigel
02-17-2009, 07:22 PM
My cousin who lives in Corfu
Has an owl that goes Too wit, Too woo

donroc
02-17-2009, 07:29 PM
My cousin who lives in Corfu
Admired the crimes of Fu Manchu

Goodchild
02-18-2009, 05:04 PM
Hmm I guess I should follow on from the most recent, although I'd like to know about the cousin's owl haha

My cousin who lives in Corfu
Admired the crimes of Fu Manchu
They were a band from the 90's

donroc
02-18-2009, 05:26 PM
My cousin who lives in Corfu
Admired the crimes of Fu Manchu
They were a band from the 90's
Pushing weed made from pine trees

flyingtart
02-18-2009, 07:30 PM
My cousin who lives in Corfu
Admired the crimes of Fu Manchu
They were a band from the 90's
Pushing weed made from pine trees
And living on dandelion stew.


Poor Edna is suffering from gout

Nymtoc
02-18-2009, 07:50 PM
Poor Edna is suffering from gout
She almost never goes out

talkwrite
02-18-2009, 08:21 PM
Poor Edna is suffering from gout
She almost never goes out
She communes on line

oneblindmouse
02-18-2009, 10:57 PM
Poor Edna is suffering from gout
She almost never goes out
She communes on line
And does nothing but whine

Nymtoc
02-18-2009, 11:07 PM
Poor Edna is suffering from gout
She almost never goes out
She communes on line
And does nothing but whine
And slurp from a barrel of stout.

;)

Young Heidi was known as a flirt

oneblindmouse
02-18-2009, 11:32 PM
Your Heidi was known as a flirt,
Quite pretty, but common as dirt

Nymtoc
02-19-2009, 03:50 PM
Young Heidi was known as a flirt,
Quite pretty, but common as dirt.
The swing of her hips

Goodchild
02-19-2009, 04:05 PM
Young Heidi was known as a flirt,
Quite pretty, but common as dirt.
The swing of her hips
And pout of her lips

flyingtart
02-19-2009, 06:36 PM
Young Heidi was known as a flirt,
Quite pretty, but common as dirt.
The swing of her hips
And pout of her lips
Would make the boys' nether parts hurt.


In the year sixteen hundred and eighty

StephanieFox
02-19-2009, 10:46 PM
In the year sixteen hundred and eighty
Was born Catherine Opalinska, a Lady

donroc
02-19-2009, 11:28 PM
In the year sixteen hundred and eighty
Was born Catherine Opalinska, a Lady
Of stature and girth

Nymtoc
02-20-2009, 12:03 AM
In the year sixteen hundred and eighty
Was born Catherine Opalinska, a Lady
Of stature and girth
And considerable worth

ichMael
02-20-2009, 08:39 AM
In the year sixteen hundred and eighty
Was born Catherine Opalinska, a Lady
Of stature and girth
And considerable worth
But whose heaviest thoughts weren't that weighty


A manganese zimboid named Jeter

Nymtoc
02-20-2009, 01:51 PM
A manganese zimboid named Jeter
Met a cadmium dorkle named Skeeter

Goodchild
02-20-2009, 01:53 PM
A manganese zimboid named Jeter
Met a cadmium dorkle named Skeeter
They bonced the flabule

flyingtart
02-20-2009, 06:13 PM
A manganese zimboid named Jeter
Met a cadmium dorkle named Skeeter
They bonced the flabule
In a hangrod capsule

Nymtoc
02-20-2009, 06:24 PM
A manganese zimboid named Jeter
Met a cadmium dorkle named Skeeter
They bonced the flabule
In a hangrod capsule
And drank klugronak by the liter.

:hat:

Some people say swearing is bad

Woof
02-20-2009, 06:26 PM
Some people say swearing is bad
Except an impaler named Vlad

flyingtart
02-20-2009, 11:20 PM
Some people say swearing is bad
Except an impaler named Vlad
He turns the air blue

donroc
02-20-2009, 11:44 PM
Some people say swearing is bad
Except an impaler named Vlad
He turns the air blue
As he stakes your gazoo

Nymtoc
02-21-2009, 12:36 AM
Some people say swearing is bad
Except an impaler named Vlad
He turns the air blue
As he stakes your gazoo
And he grins when his foes call him mad.

:e2teeth:

I hear groans. I think it's a ghost

donroc
02-21-2009, 02:19 AM
I hear groans. I think it's a ghost
Of the Dutchman, Paul Vandermost

ichMael
02-21-2009, 09:40 PM
I hear groans. I think it's a ghost
Of the Dutchman, Paul Vandermost
And Vandermost leastly

Goodchild
02-21-2009, 10:07 PM
I hear groans. I think it's a ghost
Of the Dutchman, Paul Vandermost
And Vandermost leastly
Resembles Jason Priestly

flyingtart
02-21-2009, 11:51 PM
I hear groans. I think it's a ghost
Of the Dutchman, Paul Vandermost
And Vandermost leastly
Resembles Jason Priestly
Especially when making some toast.


A one-legged sailor named Jules

Nymtoc
02-22-2009, 12:14 AM
A one-legged sailor named Jules
Insisted on breaking the rules

ichMael
02-22-2009, 07:57 PM
A one-legged sailor named Jules
Insisted on breaking the rules
So he unscrewed his leg

donroc
02-22-2009, 09:42 PM
A one-legged sailor named Jules
Insisted on breaking the rules
So he unscrewed his leg
A great hollow beer keg

StephanieFox
02-22-2009, 10:39 PM
A one-legged sailor named Jules
Insisted on breaking the rules
So he unscrewed his leg
A great hollow beer keg
Which turned out to be filled with O'Doul's



Richard Day was a nasty young man

flyingtart
02-23-2009, 07:31 PM
Richard Day was a nasty young man
He was banned in some parts of Japan

Nymtoc
02-23-2009, 10:36 PM
Richard Day was a nasty young man
He was banned in some parts of Japan
His jeans hung so low

oneblindmouse
02-24-2009, 03:07 AM
Richard Day was a nasty young man
He was banned in some parts of Japan
His jeans hung so low
His pants he did show

donroc
02-24-2009, 03:27 AM
Richard Day was a nasty young man
He was banned in some parts of Japan
His jeans hung so low
His pants he did show
With a streak the color of flan

Jack the Ripper had an off night

Nymtoc
02-24-2009, 03:42 AM
Jack the Ripper had an off night
With no fancy ladies in sight

StephanieFox
02-24-2009, 09:50 AM
Jack the Ripper had an off night
With no fancy ladies in sight
He went home to mom

Sir_Nigel
02-24-2009, 12:21 PM
Jack the Ripper had an off night
With no fancy ladies in sight
He went home to mom
and announced with aplomb:

flyingtart
02-24-2009, 06:58 PM
Jack the Ripper had an off night
With no fancy ladies in sight
He went home to mom
and announced with aplomb:
"I'm afraid that my pants are too tight!"

A bird-eating gourmet called Clive

ichMael
02-25-2009, 05:39 AM
A bird-eating gourmet called Clive
Preferred hummingbirds that were alive

Sir_Nigel
02-25-2009, 01:31 PM
A bird-eating gourmet called Clive
Preferred hummingbirds that were alive
They hummed as he swallowed

flyingtart
02-25-2009, 03:58 PM
A bird-eating gourmet called Clive
Preferred hummingbirds that were alive
They hummed as he swallowed
And penguins that followed

Goodchild
02-25-2009, 04:38 PM
A bird-eating gourmet called Clive
Preferred hummingbirds that were alive
They hummed as he swallowed
And penguins that followed
His evil march of RSPB Pride


Young Jimmy loved the art of assonance

MaybeThisTime
02-26-2009, 04:20 AM
Young Jimmy loved the art of assonance
Hissed a Miss who loved cognitive dissonance

WittyWordsmith
02-26-2009, 06:26 AM
Young Jimmy loved the art of assonance
Hissed a Miss who loved cognitive dissonance
He shouted quite loudly

archerjoe
02-26-2009, 06:47 AM
Young Jimmy loved the art of assonance
Hissed a Miss who loved cognitive dissonance
He shouted quite loudly
And perhaps a bit proudly

WittyWordsmith
02-26-2009, 06:59 AM
Young Jimmy loved the art of assonance
Hissed a Miss who loved cognitive dissonance
He shouted quite loudly
And perhaps a bit proudly
"I rhyme better than the king of France!"



The lady with curly blonde hair

archerjoe
02-26-2009, 07:04 AM
The lady with curly blonde hair
Got rich selling used Tupperware

WittyWordsmith
02-26-2009, 07:11 AM
The lady with curly blonde hair
Got rich selling used Tupperware
She scrubbed out the stains

onestepp
02-26-2009, 07:18 AM
The lady with curly blonde hair
Got rich selling used Tupperware
She scrubbed out the stains
departed for trains

WittyWordsmith
02-26-2009, 07:43 AM
The lady with curly blonde hair
Got rich selling used Tupperware
She scrubbed out the stains
departed for trains
and hoped that the cheap wouldn't care.



Sam was a one-legged juggler

MaybeThisTime
02-26-2009, 05:56 PM
Sam was a one-legged juggler
Who'd gained regional fame as a bungler

flyingtart
02-26-2009, 06:09 PM
Sam was a one-legged juggler
Who'd gained regional fame as a bungler
His ungainly hop

archerjoe
02-26-2009, 09:18 PM
Sam was a one-legged juggler
Who'd gained regional fame as a bungler
His ungainly hop
was over-the-top

Sir_Nigel
02-27-2009, 12:46 PM
Sam was a one-legged juggler
Who'd gained regional fame as a bungler
‘His ungainly hop
was over-the-top’
said Old Sam – the monoped Smuggler


There’s been an unfortunate spillage

flyingtart
02-27-2009, 06:03 PM
There’s been an unfortunate spillage
When the marauding hordes came to pillage

Nymtoc
02-27-2009, 06:25 PM
There’s been an unfortunate spillage
When the marauding hordes came to pillage
The streets all ran red