Limericks Live!

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Meaney

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.
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The Limerickers said:
My liver is going to bits
My B.O. is literally the pits
But my wallet is hearty
So take that, you smarty --
'Cause wealth almost always beats wits
Metrical change notwithstanding, this one's a gem.

I ought to be studying German
To understand my uncle Hermann.
... What is "Zieg Heil"?
 

reph

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I ought to be studying German
To understand my uncle Hermann.
... What is "Sieg Heil"?
Why, I don't see you smile!
 

poetinahat

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I ought to be studying German
To understand my uncle Hermann.
... What is "Sieg Heil"?
Why, I don't see you smile!
"Nein! I've nothing to do vit dat vermin!"

I've bought a new pocket protector
 

poetinahat

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I've bought a new pocket protector
I, colour ballpoint pen collector
For my shirts got too loud
Though I feel kinda proud
of my hat that says "Jedi Inspector"

Napoleon H. Bonaparte
 

poetinahat

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Pardon my French!

Napoleon H. Bonaparte
let out a rip-roaring fart
His men did cheer,
but did Josephine hear?
 

Pthom

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Napoleon H. Bonaparte
let out a rip-roaring fart
His men did cheer,
but did Josephine hear?
No! She'd fallen asleep in the cart.


When one of us writes down a line
 

poetinahat

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When one of us writes down a line
The rest think, "Wish that had been mine!"
 

Solatium

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When one of us writes down a line
The rest think, "Wish that had been mine!"
It blows my mind sometimes
To gain reason from rhymes

(If you squint real hard, the meter still works.)
 

AdamH

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When one of us writes down a line
The rest think, "Wish that had been mine!"
It blows my mind sometimes
To gain reason from rhymes
That's why I like my prose just fine.


It's almost the last week of September,
 

Solatium

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It's almost the last week of September;
There are three things I must remember:
 

poetinahat

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It's almost the last week of September;
There are three things I must remember:
But amnesia sets in
Who am I -- Errol Flynn?
 

threedogpeople

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It's almost the last week of September;
There are three things I must remember:
But amnesia sets in
Who am I -- Errol Flynn?
as I chop firewood, yelling "timber".


Silent movies are a classic genre,
 

reph

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Silent movies are a classic genre,
You can watch those old stars get it on, yeah,
with a look and a kiss,
Instantaneous bliss!
 

poetinahat

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Silent movies are a classic genre,
You can watch those old stars get it on, yeah,
with a look and a kiss,
Instantaneous bliss!
(if you'll pardon the double entendre)

A salesman walked into a bar
 

Pat~

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Silent movies are a classic genre,
You can watch those old stars get it on, yeah,
with a look and a kiss,
Instantaneous bliss
For our lead actors Michael and Sondra.

The traffic was bumper to bumper
 

Pat~

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A salesman walked into a bar
Pitching lies about some old used car
 
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