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flyingtart
12-10-2008, 08:25 PM
The little white bunny goes hippoty-hop
Into a snow drift and now he is stopped
He tries and he tries

tinselcleo
12-11-2008, 05:05 AM
The little white bunny goes hippoty-hop
Into a snow drift and now he is stopped
He tries and he tries
Until the little guy cries

BudBoxer
12-11-2008, 05:11 AM
The little white bunny goes hippoty-hop
Into a snow drift and now he is stopped
He tries and he tries
Until the little guy cries
Do I rhyme stopped or hippoty (sic)-hop?

Once was a caribou from Fairbanks

donroc
12-11-2008, 06:23 AM
Once was a caribou from Fairbanks
Who fell madly in love with Tom Hanks

Woof
12-11-2008, 05:44 PM
Once was a caribou from Fairbanks
Who fell madly in love with Tom Hanks
It was a match made in Nome

tinselcleo
12-11-2008, 06:07 PM
Once was a caribou from Fairbanks
Who fell madly in love with Tom Hanks
It was a match made in Nome
He fashioned a statue out of crome

rhymegirl
12-11-2008, 07:48 PM
Once was a caribou from Fairbanks
Who fell madly in love with Tom Hanks
It was a match made in Nome
He fashioned a statue out of crome
In return Tom just gave him some spanks.

There are people who really like spanking

flyingtart
12-11-2008, 08:02 PM
There are people who really like spanking
Some of whom are extremely high-ranking

talkwrite
12-11-2008, 09:57 PM
There are people who really like spanking
Some of whom are extremely high-ranking
A govenor here

BudBoxer
12-11-2008, 11:23 PM
There are people who really like spanking
Some of whom are extremely high-ranking
A governor here
For the cost of a beer

BudBoxer
12-12-2008, 06:23 AM
There are people who really like spanking
Some of whom are extremely high-ranking
A governor here
For the cost of a beer
Will whinny through a super firm tanking

(OK, why so long? Anyone could better. Is it bad form hours later to add after one’s self?)

Once was there a wee fairy named Larry

flyingtart
12-12-2008, 05:12 PM
Once was there a wee fairy named Larry
Who came home all soiled and tarry

K1P1
12-13-2008, 08:29 PM
Once was there a wee fairy named Larry
Who came home all soiled and tarry
He stuck in his thumb

Albedo of Zero
12-14-2008, 07:35 AM
Once was there a wee fairy named Larry
Who came home all soiled and tarry
He stuck in his thumb
though he knew that was dumb

flyingtart
12-14-2008, 02:51 PM
Once was there a wee fairy named Larry
Who came home all soiled and tarry
He stuck in his thumb
though he knew that was dumb
In the mouth of a pixie named Harry


A writer who wrote in a loft

Pthom
12-15-2008, 02:39 AM
A writer who wrote in a loft
Just wanted a place that was soft.

Albedo of Zero
12-15-2008, 07:22 AM
A writer who wrote in a loft
Just wanted a place that was soft
but she sat on a needle

Sir_Nigel
12-15-2008, 01:24 PM
A writer who wrote in a loft
Just wanted a place that was soft
but she sat on a needle
and it’s certain that deed’ll

flyingtart
12-15-2008, 08:25 PM
A writer who wrote in a loft
Just wanted a place that was soft
but she sat on a needle
and it’s certain that deed’ll
Be leapt on by Microsoft


The computer whizz kid Bill Gates

StephanieFox
12-15-2008, 10:10 PM
The computer whizz kid Bill Gates
Took a Macintosh out on some dates

talkwrite
12-15-2008, 11:29 PM
The computer whizz kid Bill Gates
Took a Macintosh out on some dates
They couldn't link much

flyingtart
12-16-2008, 12:07 AM
The computer whizz kid Bill Gates
Took a Macintosh out on some dates
They couldn't link much
And the tension was such

Pthom
12-17-2008, 05:10 AM
The computer whizz kid Bill Gates
Took a Macintosh out on some dates
They couldn't link much
And the tension was such
That they sent off for purchase rebates.

Those digital elves can't work faster

flyingtart
12-17-2008, 05:09 PM
Those digital elves can't work faster
Without ending up with limbs in plaster

Woof
12-17-2008, 05:11 PM
Those digital elves can't work faster
Without ending up with limbs in plaster
Their little legs move

Nymtoc
12-17-2008, 06:38 PM
Those digital elves can't work faster
Without ending up with limbs in plaster
Their little legs move,
But what does that prove?

Pthom
12-17-2008, 11:22 PM
Those digital elves can't work faster
Without ending up with limbs in plaster
Their little legs move,
But what does that prove?
Ms. Claus won't let 'em get past her!

These limericks rarely make sense.

donroc
12-17-2008, 11:33 PM
These limericks rarely make sense.
With meter and theme they dispense

oneblindmouse
12-17-2008, 11:44 PM
These limericks rarely make sense.
With meter and theme they dispense,
They don't always rhyme

Sir_Nigel
12-18-2008, 01:54 PM
These limericks rarely make sense.
With meter and theme they dispense,
They don't always rhyme
though mostly they do

Woof
12-18-2008, 06:14 PM
These limericks rarely make sense.
With meter and theme they dispense,
They don't always rhyme
though mostly they do
And when they don't they are dense.

A trip to Mars would be very nice

flyingtart
12-18-2008, 06:52 PM
A trip to Mars would be very nice
But the tickets are quite a high price

Woof
12-18-2008, 06:54 PM
A trip to Mars would be very nice
But the tickets are quite a high price
Still, the view is divine

tinselcleo
12-18-2008, 09:52 PM
A trip to Mars would be very nice
But the tickets are quite a high price
Still, the view is divine
And on alien food you will dine

Pthom
12-19-2008, 01:39 AM
A trip to Mars would be very nice
But the tickets are quite a high price
Still, the view is divine
And on alien food you will dine

urgh

A quick trip to Mars would be nice
But the tickets are quite a high price
Still, the view is divine
And with aliens you'll dine
But they sure don't know how to make rice!

Instead, they parboil Bantha livers

Nymtoc
12-19-2008, 01:54 AM
Instead, they parboil Bantha livers,
Which may give some Earthlings the shivers

Woof
12-19-2008, 02:04 AM
Instead, they parboil Bantha livers,
Which may give some Earthlings the shivers
And it tastes quite vile

Nymtoc
12-19-2008, 02:24 AM
Instead, they parboil Bantha livers,
Which may give some Earthlings the shivers
And it tastes quite vile,
Being drenched in bile

Pthom
12-19-2008, 03:09 AM
Instead, they parboil Bantha livers,
Which may give some Earthlings the shivers
And it tastes quite vile,
Being drenched in bile
Which flows from the kitchens in rivers.

A homeless man stuck in a snow bank

tinselcleo
12-19-2008, 04:41 AM
A homeless man stuck in a snow bank
Hoped someone could smell him since he was quite rank

Sir_Nigel
12-19-2008, 05:01 PM
A homeless man stuck in a snow bank
Hoped someone could smell him since he was quite rank
He claimed: ‘It’s not me!’

donroc
12-19-2008, 05:03 PM
A homeless man stuck in a snow bank
Hoped someone could smell him since he was quite rank
He claimed: "It’s not me!
It's the polar bear's pee."

Sir_Nigel
12-19-2008, 05:53 PM
A homeless man stuck in a snow bank
Hoped someone could smell him since he was quite rank
He claimed: "It’s not me!
It's the polar bear's pee.
I was wazzed on last week and it stank"


A Christmas limerick

When you’re supping your favourite tipples

Woof
12-19-2008, 06:33 PM
When you’re supping your favourite tipples
Don't get drunk and pinch the nearest nipples

Nymtoc
12-20-2008, 12:47 AM
When you’re supping your favourite tipples
Don't get drunk and pinch the nearest nipples
You may get a slap

Woof
12-20-2008, 12:58 AM
When you’re supping your favourite tipples
Don't get drunk and pinch the nearest nipples
You may get a slap
Or the threat of the strap

Pthom
12-20-2008, 11:36 AM
When you’re supping your favourite tipples
Don't get drunk and pinch the nearest nipples
You may get a slap
Or the threat of the strap
That on bare skin makes unsightly ripples!


Because it's the holiday season,

Nymtoc
12-20-2008, 11:58 AM
Because it's the holiday season,
Folks try to be merry and pleasin'

tinselcleo
12-20-2008, 06:11 PM
Because it's the holiday season,
Folks try to be merry and pleasin'
They wear jingle bells

StephanieFox
12-20-2008, 11:00 PM
Because it's the holiday season,
Folks try to be merry and pleasin'
They wear jingle bells
Made of gold cockle shells

flyingtart
12-21-2008, 04:20 PM
Because it's the holiday season,
Folks try to be merry and pleasin'
They wear jingle bells
Made of gold cockle shells
And go outside when it is freezin'


A reindeer I know called Dasher

Nymtoc
12-21-2008, 09:34 PM
A reindeer I know called Dasher
Was falsely considered a masher

donroc
12-21-2008, 09:54 PM
A reindeer I know called Dasher
Was falsely considered a masher
By a reindoe he scorned

Nymtoc
12-22-2008, 04:55 PM
A reindeer I know called Dasher
Was falsely considered a masher
By a reindoe he scorned
"You'll be sorry!" she warned

Woof
12-22-2008, 05:19 PM
A reindeer I know called Dasher
Was falsely considered a masher
By a reindoe he scorned
"You'll be sorry!" she warned
"If you try anything rasher."

Two elves were caught in fragrante delicto

donroc
12-22-2008, 05:49 PM
Two elves were caught in fragrante delicto
in a bed of Keebler's cookie dough

Woof
12-22-2008, 05:57 PM
Two elves were caught in fragrante delicto
in a bed of Keebler's cookie dough
They kneaded each other

oneblindmouse
12-22-2008, 07:56 PM
Two elves were caught in fragrante delicto
in a bed of Keebler's cookie dough
They kneaded each other
While watching Big Brother

Woof
12-22-2008, 09:30 PM
Two elves were caught in fragrante delicto
in a bed of Keebler's cookie dough
They kneaded each other
While watching Big Brother
Then one of them licked on a toe.


I'm bored with the holiday season

oneblindmouse
12-22-2008, 09:35 PM
I'm bored with the holiday season
Though saying so may sound like treason

tinselcleo
12-22-2008, 10:09 PM
I'm bored with the holiday season
Though saying so may sound like treason
Soon, it too shall pass

Woof
12-22-2008, 11:16 PM
I'm bored with the holiday season
Though saying so may sound like treason
Soon, it too shall pass
Like gold turned to brass

talkwrite
12-23-2008, 03:08 AM
I'm bored with the holiday season
Though saying so may sound like treason
Soon, it too shall pass
Like gold turned to brass
So enslaved to Valentine's pleasing.

The lights contest this year was so fierce

Pthom
12-24-2008, 04:30 AM
The lights contest this year was fierce
(We live next door to Ambrose Bierce (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce))

Woof
12-24-2008, 08:19 PM
The lights contest this year was fierce
(We live next door to Ambrose Bierce)
His display is macabre

Nymtoc
12-24-2008, 09:27 PM
The lights contest this year was fierce
(We live next door to Ambrose Bierce)
His display is macabre,
Makes necrophiles slobber

Woof
12-24-2008, 09:41 PM
The lights contest this year was fierce
(We live next door to Ambrose Bierce)
His display is macabre,
Makes necrophiles slobber
And does the silence of the night pierce.


My halls are decked with boughs of dust

Nymtoc
12-24-2008, 09:43 PM
My halls are decked with boughs of dust
But folks rejoice. I guess I must.

Woof
12-24-2008, 09:45 PM
My halls are decked with boughs of dust
But folks rejoice. I guess I must.
'Tis the season to be fat

Nymtoc
12-24-2008, 09:48 PM
My halls are decked with boughs of dust
But folks rejoice. I guess I must.
'Tis the season to be fat
Obesity is where it's at

Woof
12-24-2008, 10:23 PM
My halls are decked with boughs of dust
But folks rejoice. I guess I must.
'Tis the season to be fat
Obesity is where it's at
Guess we'll all end up stuffed and trussed.


Christmas next year will be held on Mars

Nymtoc
12-24-2008, 10:35 PM
Christmas next year will be held on Mars
Midst the twinkling of billions of stars

Woof
12-24-2008, 10:36 PM
Christmas next year will be held on Mars
Midst the twinkling of billions of stars
And amid the cosmic cheer

donroc
12-24-2008, 10:38 PM
Christmas next year will be held on Mars
Midst the twinkling of billions of stars
And amid the cosmic cheer
John Carter will appear

Nymtoc
12-25-2008, 12:51 AM
Christmas next year will be held on Mars
Midst the twinkling of billions of stars
And amid the cosmic cheer
John Carter will appear
With Mars bars? I'd prefer Martian beer.

:scared:

I think someone's spying on me

tinselcleo
12-25-2008, 03:03 AM
I think someone's spying on me
They are flat out crazy if they don't leave me be

flyingtart
12-26-2008, 09:01 PM
I think someone's spying on me
They are flat out crazy if they don't leave me be
I'll call the police

Woof
12-26-2008, 10:42 PM
I think someone's spying on me
They are flat out crazy if they don't leave me be
I'll call the police
And my vicious niece

Nymtoc
12-27-2008, 08:35 AM
I think someone's spying on me
They are flat out crazy if they don't leave me be
I'll call the police
And my vicious niece
Who has a black belt in tai chi.

:hat:

A guy named James Joyce wrote a book

donroc
12-27-2008, 04:33 PM
A guy named James Joyce wrote a book
About Molly's husband, the schnook

oneblindmouse
12-27-2008, 05:13 PM
A guy named James Joyce wrote a book
About Molly's husband, the schnook.
This tome's no light matter

Woof
12-27-2008, 06:17 PM
A guy named James Joyce wrote a book
About Molly's husband, the schnook.
This tome's no light matter
Unless you're a satyr

flyingtart
12-28-2008, 06:09 PM
A guy named James Joyce wrote a book
About Molly's husband, the schnook.
This tome's no light matter
Unless you're a satyr
And the MC is definitely a crook!

A poet who lived by a lake

donroc
12-28-2008, 06:12 PM
A poet who lived by a lake
Was known as a devilish rake

Woof
12-28-2008, 07:07 PM
A poet who lived by a lake
Was known as a devilish rake
He drank like a fish

flyingtart
12-28-2008, 10:00 PM
A poet who lived by a lake
Was known as a devilish rake
He drank like a fish
Making people wish

Pthom
12-29-2008, 11:16 PM
A poet who lived by a lake
Was known as a devilish rake
He drank like a fish
Making people wish
That he wasn't such a big fake.

When Linda sat down in the yoghurt

donroc
12-30-2008, 01:37 AM
When Linda sat down in the yoghurt
Ghenghiz Khan threw her out of his big yurt

StephanieFox
12-30-2008, 01:56 AM
When Linda sat down in the yoghurt
Ghenghiz Khan threw her out of his big yurt
She was out in the snow

donroc
12-30-2008, 02:12 AM
When Linda sat down in the yoghurt
Ghenghiz Khan threw her out of his big yurt
She was out in the snow
Then Bortai pulled her bow

Nymtoc
12-30-2008, 04:32 AM
When Linda sat down in the yoghurt
Ghenghiz Khan threw her out of his big yurt
She was out in the snow
Then Bortai pulled her bow
And Temujin whined that his brogue hurt.

:hat:

The most lively March sister was Jo

flyingtart
12-30-2008, 02:22 PM
The most lively March sister was Jo
She would tie up her hair in a bow

oneblindmouse
12-30-2008, 05:31 PM
The most lively March sister was Jo
She would tie up her hair in a bow
Whilst Meg, Liz and Amy

Nymtoc
12-31-2008, 04:23 AM
The most lively March sister was Jo
She would tie up her hair in a bow
Whilst Meg, Liz and Amy,
All vibrant and gamy,

flyingtart
12-31-2008, 01:33 PM
The most lively March sister was Jo
She would tie up her hair in a bow
Whilst Meg, Liz and Amy,
All vibrant and gamy,
Gave any perversion a go.


The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands

donroc
12-31-2008, 05:05 PM
The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands
Aroused Charles the second's sex glands

flyingtart
12-31-2008, 06:13 PM
The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands
Aroused King Charles the Second's glands
By lifting her skirt

Wayne K
12-31-2008, 06:47 PM
By lifting her skirt
Doing handstands

He was aroused by her daring stunt

Pthom
01-01-2009, 02:09 AM
People, people, people. Do try to remember the rules for limerick form.
The current one started out nicely:
The Duchess of Grange-over-Sandsin that it has 8 syllables--and whereas the second line also has 8, the beat occurs in odd places (bold is the beat)
Aroused King Charles the Second's glandsThe third line is perfectly fine
By lifting her skirtBut where is the fourth line? It needs to match meter and rhyme with the third. (It could be:
And removing her shirtBut the final line is woefully inadequate for limerick form.
Doing handstandsThe only criteria it meets is that it rhymes with the first two lines and sort of completes the risque thought of the poem.

Someone needs to repair this limerick before moving on. Please.

And while the offering for the next limerick has promise:
He was aroused by her daring stuntthe meter just doesn't work (too many syllables). A possible fix might be:
He giggled at her daring stuntbut that's just one. I suggest those involved in this poem repair it themselves.

:D

donroc
01-01-2009, 02:40 AM
Okay, here we go again:

The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands
Aroused Charles the Second's sex glands
By lifting her skirt

Nymtoc
01-01-2009, 04:16 AM
The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands
Aroused Charles the Second's sex glands
By lifting her skirt
And playing the flirt

oneblindmouse
01-01-2009, 05:46 AM
The Duchess of Grange-over-Sands
Aroused Charles the Second's sex glands
By lifting her skirt
And playing the flirt
which called for a laying of hands.

The king was amused by such sport

Nymtoc
01-01-2009, 05:59 AM
The king was amused by such sport
And so was each maiden at court

oneblindmouse
01-01-2009, 03:05 PM
The king was amused by such sport
And so was each maiden at court
But not so, the jester

flyingtart
01-01-2009, 04:18 PM
The king was amused by such sport
And so was each maiden at court
But not so, the jester
A well-known protester

Pthom
01-02-2009, 04:07 AM
The king was amused by such sport
And so was each maiden at court
But not so, the jester
A well-known protester
Who stole the Bohemian's torte.

When the CEO tried to resign

Nymtoc
01-02-2009, 05:02 AM
When the CEO tried to resign,
The stockholders cried, "He's a swine!"

oneblindmouse
01-02-2009, 01:30 PM
When the CEO tried to resign,
The stockholders cried, "He's a swine!
Gold handshake? No way!

flyingtart
01-02-2009, 09:34 PM
When the CEO tried to resign,
The stockholders cried, "He's a swine!
Gold handshake? No way!
In your job you must stay!

Pthom
01-03-2009, 04:28 AM
When the CEO tried to resign,
The stockholders cried, "He's a swine!
Gold handshake? No way!
In your job you must stay!
If only to pay for our wine.

:D

I really like starting these things.

Nymtoc
01-03-2009, 06:06 AM
I really like starting these things.
Some topple while others have wings

tinselcleo
01-03-2009, 07:37 AM
I really like starting these things.
Some topple while others have wings
I write some words down

flyingtart
01-03-2009, 03:39 PM
I really like starting these things.
Some topple while others have wings
I write some words down
Then grimace and frown

Pthom
01-05-2009, 06:18 AM
I really like starting these things.
Some topple while others have wings
I write some words down
Then grimace and frown
But when one is right, it just sings!

Don'tcha see? There, I did it again.

Nymtoc
01-05-2009, 09:26 AM
Don'tcha see? There, I did it again.
All it took was a stroke of my pen.

Sir_Nigel
01-05-2009, 01:05 PM
Don'tcha see? There, I did it again.
All it took was a stroke of my pen.
I compose a mean verse

flyingtart
01-05-2009, 02:45 PM
Don'tcha see? There, I did it again.
All it took was a stroke of my pen.
I compose a mean verse
Without needing to curse

Pthom
01-06-2009, 12:11 AM
Don'tcha see? There, I did it again.
All it took was a stroke of my pen.
I compose a mean verse
Without needing to curse
'Cause my limericks are one out of ten!

:D

Now it's your turn, you game players many.

oneblindmouse
01-06-2009, 01:24 AM
Now it's your turn, you game players many,
To add to this poem your small penny

donroc
01-06-2009, 01:27 AM
Now it's your turn, you game players many,
To add to this poem your small penny
With a sly acronym

Nymtoc
01-06-2009, 04:47 AM
Now it's your turn, you game players many,
To add to this poem your small penny
With a sly acronym,
Nothing gross nor too grim,

Sir_Nigel
01-06-2009, 02:00 PM
Now it's your turn, you game players many,
To add to this poem your small penny
With a sly acronym,
Nothing gross nor too grim,
Ideas? - I F N 10 E


RIP said the RC MD

flyingtart
01-06-2009, 02:42 PM
RIP said the RC MD
PDQ I was quick to agree

flyingtart
01-06-2009, 02:44 PM
RIP said the RC MD
This old chap's DOA, QED
His name, FYI

Nymtoc
01-06-2009, 02:55 PM
[Sorry, I got this fouled up by deleting my previous entry to avoid conflict with flyingtart's simultaneous entry. Maybe this will fix it.]

RIP said the RC MD
This old chap's DOA, QED
His name, FYI
Is Sam, AKA Sly,

flyingtart
01-06-2009, 07:09 PM
RIP said the RC MD
This old chap's DOA, QED
His name, FYI
Is Sam, AKA Sly,
And he died clutching his WIP.


A doctor who'd studied for years

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-06-2009, 10:27 PM
A doctor who'd studied for years
Looked in the mirror and broke into tears

donroc
01-06-2009, 10:43 PM
A doctor who'd studied for years
Looked in the mirror and broke into tears
"I'd rather be writing."

Nymtoc
01-06-2009, 10:58 PM
A doctor who'd studied for years
Looked in the mirror and broke into tears
"I'd rather be writing.
It's much more exciting."

donroc
01-06-2009, 11:03 PM
A doctor who'd studied for years
Looked in the mirror and broke into tears
"I'd rather be writing.
It's much more exciting.
Than playing Goldfinger with rears."

That man from Nantucket went limp

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-06-2009, 11:05 PM
That man from Nantucket went limp
He thought on the tip he could skimp

Pthom
01-07-2009, 12:05 AM
That man from Nantucket went limp
He thought on the tip he could skimp
But his rod, it did flex...

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2009, 12:46 PM
That man from Nantucket went limp
He thought on the tip he could skimp
But his rod, it did flex...
prompting lithe, bendy sex

Nymtoc
01-07-2009, 01:38 PM
That man from Nantucket went limp
He thought on the tip he could skimp
But his rod, it did flex...
prompting lithe, bendy sex,
and no lass ever called him a shrimp.

:D

Lady Elspeth would not wear a wimple

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2009, 01:45 PM
Lady Elspeth would not wear a wimple
She was proud of her bright purple pimple!

flyingtart
01-07-2009, 03:17 PM
Lady Elspeth would not wear a wimple
She was proud of her bright purple pimple!
She flashed it around

donroc
01-07-2009, 04:15 PM
Lady Elspeth would not wear a wimple
She was proud of her bright purple pimple!
She flashed it around
That magnificent mound

oneblindmouse
01-07-2009, 05:32 PM
Lady Elspeth would not wear a wimple
She was proud of her bright purple pimple!
She flashed it around
That magnificent mound
And everyone thought it a dimple.

Lord Nelson was tall, dark and dashing

Woof
01-07-2009, 06:31 PM
Lord Nelson was tall, dark and dashing
And he had a habit of flashing

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-07-2009, 06:42 PM
Lord Nelson was tall, dark and dashing
And he had a habit of flashing
From the window spied

oneblindmouse
01-07-2009, 07:48 PM
Let's get the rhythm right:

Lord Nelson was tall, dark and dashing
And he had a habit of flashing,
From the window he spied
his lady and cried:

Woof
01-07-2009, 08:13 PM
Lord Nelson was tall, dark and dashing
And he had a habit of flashing,
From the window he spied
his lady and cried:
"I say, would you like a lashing?"


Elizabeth, the virgin queen

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-07-2009, 08:30 PM
Elizabeth, the virgin queen
Had the biggest knockers ever seen

donroc
01-07-2009, 10:12 PM
Elizabeth, the virgin queen
Had the biggest knockers ever seen
They aroused Essex's lust

flyingtart
01-07-2009, 11:05 PM
Elizabeth, the virgin queen
Had the biggest knockers ever seen
They aroused Essex's lust
When he glanced at her bust

Nymtoc
01-07-2009, 11:36 PM
Elizabeth, the virgin queen
Had the biggest knockers ever seen
They aroused Essex's lust
When he glanced at her bust.
Said he, "Queen, let's begin the beguine."

:e2brows:

Soon the queen sent her navy to sea

donroc
01-07-2009, 11:40 PM
Soon the queen sent her navy to sea
With Hawkins, Drake, and Walter Raleigh

Nymtoc
01-08-2009, 01:03 AM
Soon the queen sent her navy to sea
With Hawkins, Drake, and Walter Raleigh
They set out for Spain

flyingtart
01-08-2009, 02:28 AM
Soon the queen sent her navy to sea
With Hawkins, Drake, and Walter Raleigh
They set out for Spain
But then came back again

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-08-2009, 02:36 AM
Soon the queen sent her navy to sea
With Hawkins, Drake, and Walter Raleigh
They set out for Spain
But then came back again
Just in time for the royal afternoon tea

A girl who likes pickles on her icecream

flyingtart
01-08-2009, 07:43 PM
A girl who likes pickles on her icecream
Dated Ken from the school soccer team

talkwrite
01-08-2009, 11:39 PM
A girl who likes pickles on her icecream
Dated Ken from the school soccer team
On their first date

Pthom
01-09-2009, 12:10 AM
Damn but the meter in this one sucks... but oh well:

A girl who likes pickles on her icecream
Dated Ken from the school soccer team
On their first date
They found out too late

Sir_Nigel
01-09-2009, 06:14 PM
A girl who likes pickles on her icecream
Dated Ken from the school soccer team
On their first date
They found out too late
she was rather too broad in the beam.


A diddly diddly dee (sorry - couldn’t think of a new line)

Pthom
01-09-2009, 11:07 PM
A diddly diddly dee
Is almost too much rhyme for me.

Nymtoc
01-10-2009, 04:38 AM
A diddly diddly dee
Is almost too much rhyme for me.
I'll settle for doodle dum

flyingtart
01-10-2009, 05:56 PM
A diddly diddly dee
Is almost too much rhyme for me.
I'll settle for doodle dum
With a humbledy-hum

donroc
01-10-2009, 06:06 PM
A diddly diddly dee
Is almost too much rhyme for me.
I'll settle for doodle dum
With a humbledy-hum
And a hey-nonney-nonney for thee.

Mazarin and Queen Anne had a fling

Nymtoc
01-10-2009, 11:12 PM
Mazarin and Queen Anne had a fling
Gossips said he begat the young king

flyingtart
01-11-2009, 07:04 PM
Mazarin and Queen Anne had a fling
Gossips said he begat the young king
But the rumours were wrong

Nymtoc
01-12-2009, 01:10 AM
Mazarin and Queen Anne had a fling
Gossips said he begat the young king
But the rumours were wrong
Anne did not wear a thong

donroc
01-12-2009, 01:13 AM
Mazarin and Queen Anne had a fling
Gossips said he begat the young king
But the rumours were wrong
Anne did not wear a thong
But she sported a ton of bling.

The Hound of the Baskervilles slept

Woof
01-12-2009, 06:13 PM
The Hound of the Baskervilles slept
While Squire Richard hunted and schlepped

flyingtart
01-12-2009, 08:52 PM
The Hound of the Baskervilles slept
While Squire Richard hunted and schlepped
Then one starry night

StephanieFox
01-12-2009, 11:54 PM
The Hound of the Baskervilles slept
While Squire Richard hunted and schlepped
Then one starry night
When the moon was just right

flyingtart
01-13-2009, 12:27 AM
The Hound of the Baskervilles slept
While Squire Richard hunted and schlepped
Then one starry night
When the moon was just right
Out from his kennel he crept.


He threw back his head with a howl

Woof
01-13-2009, 12:30 AM
He threw back his head with a howl
And bared all his teeth with a scowl

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-13-2009, 12:59 AM
He threw back his head with a howl
And bared all his teeth with a scowl
the rabbit watched unimpressed

flyingtart
01-13-2009, 04:44 PM
He threw back his head with a howl
And bared all his teeth with a scowl
rabbit watched unimpressed
before quipping in jest

Nymtoc
01-13-2009, 05:07 PM
He threw back his head with a howl
And bared all his teeth with a scowl
rabbit watched unimpressed
before quipping in jest,
"Not bad teeth, but your hygiene is foul."

:cool:

Sherlock Holmes saw a shape in the fog

Woof
01-13-2009, 05:36 PM
Sherlock Holmes saw a shape in the fog
Of a sinister form with his dog

Nymtoc
01-13-2009, 05:39 PM
Sherlock Holmes saw a shape in the fog
Of a sinister form with his dog.
Holmes deduced from its smell

Woof
01-13-2009, 05:42 PM
Sherlock Holmes saw a shape in the fog
Of a sinister form with his dog.
Holmes deduced from its smell
That it'd just come from hell

Nymtoc
01-13-2009, 05:49 PM
Sherlock Holmes saw a shape in the fog
Of a sinister form with his dog.
Holmes deduced from its smell
That it'd just come from hell
So he cleverly tamed it with grog.

:ROFL:

Doctor Watson was always around

Woof
01-13-2009, 05:53 PM
Doctor Watson was always around
With his ears always close to the ground

flyingtart
01-13-2009, 06:29 PM
Doctor Watson was always around
With his ears always close to the ground
But to Holmes's dismay

Sir_Nigel
01-13-2009, 06:38 PM
Doctor Watson was always around
With his ears always close to the ground
But to Holmes's dismay
he was screamingly gay

Woof
01-13-2009, 06:42 PM
Doctor Watson was always around
With his ears always close to the ground
But to Holmes's dismay
he was screamingly gay
And as promiscuous as a hound.


A man stepped into a time machine

Pthom
01-13-2009, 10:14 PM
How does this: A man stepped into a time machine
Fit into the required meter: (duh) duh DAH duh duh DAH duh duh DAH (duh)?

try:

A man got in his time machine
And nearly did rupture his spleen.

oneblindmouse
01-13-2009, 10:25 PM
A man got in his time machine
And nearly did rupture his spleen.
He went to the past

Nymtoc
01-14-2009, 03:37 AM
A man got in his time machine
And nearly did rupture his spleen.
He went to the past
But he was aghast

Pthom
01-14-2009, 04:17 AM
A man got in his time machine
And nearly did rupture his spleen.
He went to the past
But he was aghast
That where e'r he went, he warn't seen!

That's 'cause, you see, he weren't a ghoul

Nymtoc
01-14-2009, 04:32 AM
That's 'cause, you see, he weren't a ghoul
He were more like a well-meaning fool

Pthom
01-14-2009, 04:39 AM
That's 'cause, you see, he weren't a ghoul
He were more like a well-meaning fool
He could yak up a storm

Nymtoc
01-14-2009, 04:46 AM
That's 'cause, you see, he weren't a ghoul
He were more like a well-meaning fool
He could yak up a storm
Though his jokes were lukewarm

Pthom
01-14-2009, 04:59 AM
That's 'cause, you see, he weren't a ghoul
He were more like a well-meaning fool
He could yak up a storm
Though his jokes were lukewarm
And his antics, well, they were just cool!

The neighborhood barkeep is nice.

Nymtoc
01-14-2009, 05:14 AM
The neighborhood barkeep is nice,
But last night he tried charging me twice

Pthom
01-14-2009, 05:15 AM
The neighborhood barkeep is nice,
But last night he tried charging me twice.
It could have been 'cause

Nymtoc
01-14-2009, 05:26 AM
The neighborhood barkeep is nice,
But last night he tried charging me twice.
It could have been 'cause
My credit card was

MsK
01-15-2009, 06:39 AM
The neighborhood barkeep is nice,
But last night he tried charging me twice.
It could have been 'cause
My credit card was
Well, lets just say spendings my vice.

A lady from the big city

Angie
01-15-2009, 06:43 AM
A lady from the big city
Was convinced she was very witty

Sir_Nigel
01-15-2009, 01:03 PM
A lady from the big city
Was convinced she was very witty
But her ill-chosen puns

Nymtoc
01-15-2009, 02:18 PM
A lady from the big city
Was convinced she was very witty
But her ill-chosen puns
Were quite indiscreet ones

flyingtart
01-15-2009, 04:53 PM
A lady from the big city
Was convinced she was very witty
But her ill-chosen puns
Were quite indiscreet ones
And she made all her listeners feel shitty


In the year nineteen seventy-eight

Sir_Nigel
01-15-2009, 05:10 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
the opening lines weren’t all that great

Nymtoc
01-15-2009, 06:03 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
the opening lines weren’t all that great
but now, in oh-nine,

Pragmatic_Dreamer
01-15-2009, 10:33 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
the opening lines weren’t all that great
but now, in oh-nine,
when all is online

flyingtart
01-16-2009, 04:16 PM
In the year nineteen seventy-eight
the opening lines weren’t all that great
but now, in oh-nine,
when all is online
There are some that I love, some I hate.


The laughter resounded for days

Woof
01-16-2009, 04:55 PM
The laughter resounded for days
But what do you expect from gays?

donroc
01-16-2009, 05:13 PM
The laughter resounded for days
But what do you expect from gays?
Their parade was a show

Woof
01-16-2009, 05:20 PM
The laughter resounded for days
But what do you expect from gays?
Their parade was a show
Displaying a rainbow

flyingtart
01-19-2009, 05:08 PM
The laughter resounded for days
But what do you expect from gays?
Their parade was a show
Displaying a rainbow
I could just make it out through the haze


Poor Betsy was sad as can be

Nymtoc
01-19-2009, 05:14 PM
Poor Betsy was sad as can be
Her pet kangaroo had got free

oneblindmouse
01-19-2009, 05:18 PM
Poor Betsy was sad as can be
Her pet kangaroo had got free,
With one helluva bound

donroc
01-19-2009, 05:20 PM
Poor Betsy was sad as can be
Her pet kangaroo had got free
And Joey boxed dingos

Nymtoc
01-19-2009, 05:40 PM
Poor Betsy was sad as can be
Her pet kangaroo had got free
And Joey boxed dingos
While Jim plucked flamingos

Woof
01-19-2009, 06:08 PM
Poor Betsy was sad as can be
Her pet kangaroo had got free
And Joey boxed dingos
While Jim plucked flamingos
And Jill danced with her chimpanzee.


A man who was pickled in brine

oneblindmouse
01-19-2009, 07:49 PM
A man who was pickled in brine
kept asking for wenches and wine

Woof
01-19-2009, 10:15 PM
A man who was pickled in brine
kept asking for wenches and wine
He kissed them as well

donroc
01-19-2009, 10:17 PM
A man who was pickled in brine
kept asking for wenches and wine
He kissed them as well
That satyr in the dell

Woof
01-19-2009, 10:20 PM
A man who was pickled in brine
kept asking for wenches and wine
He kissed them as well
That satyr in the dell
And acted like a lowdown swine.


She gargled with garlic and gin

donroc
01-19-2009, 10:30 PM
She gargled with garlic and gin
Our mom is on the sauce again

Woof
01-19-2009, 10:33 PM
She gargled with garlic and gin
Our mom is on the sauce again
She's downed all the sherry

flyingtart
01-19-2009, 11:16 PM
She gargled with garlic and gin
Our mom is on the sauce again
She's downed all the sherry
It's made her quite merry

oneblindmouse
01-20-2009, 12:01 AM
She gargled with garlic and gin
Our mom is on the sauce again
She's downed all the sherry
It's made her quite merry
And now all the fun will begin.

The couple upstairs keep on shouting

donroc
01-20-2009, 12:06 AM
The couple upstairs keep on shouting
At the plumber because of poor grouting

oneblindmouse
01-20-2009, 12:07 AM
The couple upstairs keep on shouting
At the plumber because of poor grouting,
The faucets all leak

Pthom
01-20-2009, 12:47 AM
The couple upstairs keep on shouting
At the plumber because of poor grouting,
“The faucets all leak;
We've been wet for a week!

Nymtoc
01-20-2009, 01:18 AM
The couple upstairs keep on shouting
At the plumber because of poor grouting,
“The faucets all leak;
We've been wet for a week!
We'll go mad from this confounded spouting!"

:Headbang:

In Bimsby-on-Thames-by-the-Sea

Woof
01-20-2009, 01:25 AM
In Bimsby-on-Thames-by-the-Sea
Lived Dame Agnes Dyggen-DeBris

oneblindmouse
01-20-2009, 02:54 AM
In Bimsby-on-Thames-by-the-Sea
Lived Dame Agnes Dyggen-DeBris,
Her son, Clive Adolphus,

Nymtoc
01-20-2009, 03:40 AM
In Bimsby-on-Thames-by-the-Sea
Lived Dame Agnes Dyggen-DeBris,
Her son, Clive Adolphus,
Wed Lady Anne Falfus

Pthom
01-20-2009, 10:33 AM
In Bimsby-on-Thames-by-the-Sea
Lived Dame Agnes Dyggen-DeBris,
Her son, Clive Adolphus,
Wed Lady Anne Falfus
Then ran off with her sister Bea.

Oh joy! It's a boy in the heather!

Sir_Nigel
01-20-2009, 12:36 PM
Oh joy! It's a boy in the heather!
And it looks like he’s well into leather

flyingtart
01-20-2009, 03:42 PM
Oh joy! It's a boy in the heather!
And it looks like he’s well into leather
His trusty jock strap

oneblindmouse
01-20-2009, 07:34 PM
Oh joy! It's a boy in the heather!
And it looks like he’s well into leather
His trusty jock strap
Protects him from clap

MsK
01-20-2009, 07:53 PM
Oh joy! It's a boy in the heather!
And it looks like he’s well into leather
His trusty jock strap
Protects him from clap
And it feels as light as a feather,

A woman with bright red hair

donroc
01-20-2009, 09:13 PM
A woman with bright red hair
My blind date at Strawberry Fair

oneblindmouse
01-20-2009, 10:04 PM
A woman with bright red hair
My blind date at Strawberry Fair
Was deaf, to my horror,

flyingtart
01-20-2009, 11:09 PM
A woman with bright red hair
My blind date at Strawberry Fair
Was deaf, to my horror,
I'm seeing her tomorrow

mario_c
01-21-2009, 01:33 AM
A woman with bright red hair
My blind date at Strawberry Fair
Was deaf. To my horror,
I'm seeing her tomorrow
I'd already bought us tickets to Cher!

The accountants O'Grady and Klemitz

Pthom
01-21-2009, 02:39 AM
Y're s'posed to take turns ... And, y're not s'posed to put so many syllables in the first line. Care to revise? :D

flyingtart
01-21-2009, 05:08 PM
The accountants O'Grady and Klemitz
Bumped into a girl at the Chemist's

Sir_Nigel
01-22-2009, 12:41 PM
The accountants O'Grady and Klemitz
Bumped into a girl at the Chemist's
They inspected her rash

flyingtart
01-22-2009, 01:23 PM
The accountants O'Grady and Klemitz
Bumped into a girl at the Chemist's
They inspected her rash
And took all her cash

Sir_Nigel
01-22-2009, 02:20 PM
The accountants O'Grady and Klemitz
Bumped into a girl at the Chemist's
They inspected her rash
And took all her cash
'Cos they didn’t like rich, spotty feminists


I was sliding downhill on a tray

Nymtoc
01-22-2009, 02:25 PM
I was sliding downhill on a tray
When a large teapot got in my way

oneblindmouse
01-22-2009, 03:29 PM
I was sliding downhill on a tray
When a large teapot got in my way
Protected by jugs

Woof
01-22-2009, 05:17 PM
I was sliding downhill on a tray
When a large teapot got in my way
Protected by jugs
And Persian rugs

flyingtart
01-22-2009, 06:01 PM
I was sliding downhill on a tray
When a large teapot got in my way
Protected by jugs
And Persian rugs
"Well I never!" was all I could say.


The Duchess of York had a bet

Sir_Nigel
01-22-2009, 06:27 PM
The Duchess of York had a bet
she could hop all the way to Tibet

donroc
01-22-2009, 06:32 PM
The Duchess of York had a bet
she could hop all the way to Tibet
But at the Himalyas

oneblindmouse
01-22-2009, 06:52 PM
The Duchess of York had a bet
she could hop all the way to Tibet
But at the Himalayas
She stopped to say prayers

Nymtoc
01-22-2009, 09:24 PM
The Duchess of York had a bet
she could hop all the way to Tibet
But at the Himalayas
She stopped to say prayers
And she hasn't stopped saying them yet.

;)

There once was a young racecar driver

flyingtart
01-22-2009, 09:26 PM
There once was a young racecar driver
Who loved to drink his own saliva

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2009, 01:08 PM
There once was a young racecar driver
Who loved to drink his own saliva
And once, in Turin

Deccydiva
01-23-2009, 01:46 PM
There once was a young racecar driver
Who loved to drink his own saliva
And once, in Turin
He raided a bin

Nymtoc
01-23-2009, 02:25 PM
There once was a young racecar driver
Who loved to drink his own saliva
And once, in Turin
He raided a bin
And said, "What the hell? I'm a survivor."

:cool:

Vampirette had a ghoulish allure

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2009, 03:28 PM
Vampirette had a ghoulish allure
But her suitors got fewer and fewer

flyingtart
01-23-2009, 06:37 PM
Vampirette had a ghoulish allure
But her suitors got fewer and fewer
She sucked them dry