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Nymtoc
10-01-2008, 05:49 AM
There once was an octopus cousin
Who had not eight arms but a dozen

donroc
10-01-2008, 06:42 AM
There once was an octopus cousin
Who had not eight arms but a dozen
He was at Bikini

Nymtoc
10-01-2008, 06:51 AM
There once was an octopus cousin
Who had not eight arms but a dozen
He was at Bikini
Where some bomb blasts--not teeny--

Pthom
10-01-2008, 10:39 AM
There once was an octopus cousin
Who had not eight arms but a dozen
He was at Bikini
Where some bomb blasts--not teeny--
Left most of his relatives buzzin'

When Willie padlocked his gym locker

QueenB
10-01-2008, 10:51 AM
When Willie padlocked his gym locker
to conceal a halloween shocker

Nymtoc
10-01-2008, 06:21 PM
When Willie padlocked his gym locker
to conceal a halloween shocker
Denise came along

Deccydiva
10-01-2008, 08:41 PM
When Willie padlocked his gym locker
to conceal a halloween shocker
Denise came along
With a red velvet thong

Sir_Nigel
10-02-2008, 11:51 AM
When Willie padlocked his gym locker
to conceal a halloween shocker
Denise came along
With a red velvet thong
- a gift from a grateful Joe Cocker.


‘Could you give me a hand with this moose?’

Nymtoc
10-02-2008, 02:01 PM
'Could you give me a hand with this moose?
In Alaska the moose are profuse.'

donroc
10-02-2008, 03:44 PM
'Could you give me a hand with this moose?
In Alaska the moose are profuse.'
"You field-skin 'em this way."

Deccydiva
10-02-2008, 03:54 PM
'Could you give me a hand with this moose?
In Alaska the moose are profuse.'
"You field-skin 'em this way."
'Can I sell that on Ebay?'

Sir_Nigel
10-02-2008, 04:25 PM
'Could you give me a hand with this moose?
In Alaska the moose are profuse.'
"You field-skin 'em this way."
'Can I sell that on Ebay?'
‘Aye - it can hang on the wall of ye hoose.’



‘Would ye care to peer under ma kilt?’

K1P1
10-02-2008, 04:27 PM
'Could you give me a hand with this moose?
In Alaska the moose are profuse.'
"You field-skin 'em this way."
'Can I sell that on Ebay?'
"It's perfect to adorn my caboose!"

It's getting right down to the wire

oneblindmouse
10-02-2008, 07:05 PM
It's getting right down to the wire
That has everybody on fire

StephanieFox
10-03-2008, 05:40 AM
It's getting right down to the wire
That has everybody on fire
Whether plain or with cheese,

Sir_Nigel
10-03-2008, 12:07 PM
It's getting right down to the wire
That has everybody on fire
Whether plain or with cheese,
What’s wrong with MY LINE please?????

Nymtoc
10-03-2008, 12:21 PM
It's getting right down to the wire
That has everybody on fire
Whether plain or with cheese,
What’s wrong with MY LINE please?????
It sucks. Can't you write something slyer?

:ROFL:

There once were three men in a tub

Sir_Nigel
10-03-2008, 12:43 PM
There once were three men in a tub
In a specialised men only club

Deccydiva
10-03-2008, 04:02 PM
There once were three men in a tub
In a specialised men only club
Said the first to the second
"

Nymtoc
10-04-2008, 06:45 AM
There once were three men in a tub
In a specialised men only club
Said the first to the second
"It's worse than I reckoned

Deccydiva
10-04-2008, 01:07 PM
There once were three men in a tub
In a specialised men only club
Said the first to the second
"It's worse than I reckoned
Now who'll give my feet a good rub?

An itinerent, name of John Casey

Nymtoc
10-04-2008, 04:36 PM
An itinerent, name of John Casey,
Ate a mushroom and got really spacey

Deccydiva
10-04-2008, 04:50 PM
An itinerent, name of John Casey,
Ate a mushroom and got really spacey
He ripped off his clothes

Woof
10-04-2008, 04:55 PM
An itinerent, name of John Casey,
Ate a mushroom and got really spacey
He ripped off his clothes
And licked all his toes

donroc
10-04-2008, 05:21 PM
An itinerent, name of John Casey,
Ate a mushroom and got really spacey
He ripped off his clothes
And licked all his toes
Then chased girls at the local J.C.

Andre, the amorous aardvark,

Deccydiva
10-04-2008, 07:13 PM
Andre, the amorous aardvark
Couldn't travel too far in the dark

donroc
10-04-2008, 08:14 PM
Andre, the amorous aardvark
Couldn't travel too far in the dark
He extended his tongue

Pthom
10-05-2008, 05:05 AM
Andre, the amorous aardvark
Couldn't travel too far in the dark
He extended his tongue
And located the bung

StephanieFox
10-07-2008, 08:12 AM
Andre, the amorous aardvark
Couldn't travel too far in the dark
He extended his tongue
And located the bung
Of a wine cask of Pinot de Marque


An accountant looked down and he sighed,

Sir_Nigel
10-07-2008, 03:03 PM
An accountant looked down and he sighed
That God damned spam email had lied

Deccydiva
10-07-2008, 04:53 PM
An accountant looked down and he sighed
That God damned spam email had lied
Instead of five million

Pthom
10-13-2008, 04:24 AM
An accountant looked down and he sighed
That God damned spam email had lied
Instead of five million
Or seventeen trillion,

Nymtoc
10-13-2008, 09:38 AM
An accountant looked down and he sighed
That God damned spam email had lied
Instead of five million
Or seventeen trillion,
He got an amusement park ride.

:mad:

Lost love is the saddest of all

Sir_Nigel
10-13-2008, 02:54 PM
Lost love is the saddest of all
when it ends in an eye-gouging brawl

Deccydiva
10-13-2008, 02:58 PM
Lost love is the saddest of all
when it ends in an eye-gouging brawl
But the saddest bit yet

donroc
10-13-2008, 04:03 PM
Lost love is the saddest of all
when it ends in an eye-gouging brawl
But the saddest bit yet
Is she left with my pet

Nymtoc
10-13-2008, 04:19 PM
Lost love is the saddest of all
when it ends in an eye-gouging brawl
But the saddest bit yet
Is she left with my pet
And my beautiful blue bowling ball.

:Wha:

Felicia went fishing one day

donroc
10-13-2008, 04:38 PM
Felicia went fishing one day
With a babe who looked like Tina Fey

Moot Writer
10-14-2008, 03:30 PM
Felicia went fishing one day
With a babe who looked like Tina Fey
But then she found out

NickDangr
10-14-2008, 09:20 PM
Felicia went fishing one day
With a babe who looked like Tina Fey
But then she found out
that no fish were about...

Nymtoc
10-15-2008, 12:44 PM
Felicia went fishing one day
With a babe who looked like Tina Fey
But then she found out
that no fish were about...
So they ended up playing croquet.

:e2fish:

A villain called Simon Legree

talkwrite
10-15-2008, 11:08 PM
A villain called Simon Legree
Ran for Congress in Missouri

freddieismyqueen
10-16-2008, 02:33 PM
A villain called Simon Legree
Ran for Congress in Missouri
Out of respect or fear
And promise of beer

Moot Writer
10-16-2008, 07:55 PM
A villain called Simon Legree
Ran for Congress in Missouri
Out of respect or fear
And promise of beer
He jumped into the Mississippi


When Susie comes a callin'

Pthom
10-16-2008, 10:14 PM
mmm, the meter is off here... let's try:

When Suzie the floozie comes callin'
The boys o'er their feet go fallin'

Nymtoc
10-16-2008, 10:54 PM
When Suzie the floozie comes callin'
The boys o'er their feet go fallin'
They vie for a chance

Moot Writer
10-16-2008, 10:56 PM
When Suzie the floozie comes callin'
The boys o'er their feet go fallin'
They vie for a chance
For a little romance

NickDangr
10-17-2008, 12:26 AM
When Suzie the floozie comes callin'
The boys o'er their feet go fallin'
They vie for a chance
For a little romance
And the lonelies go crawlin' home bawlin'.


The gifted equestrian, Saul...

Deccydiva
10-17-2008, 12:30 AM
The gifted equestrian, Saul...
When out riding one day had a fall

Nymtoc
10-17-2008, 02:41 AM
The gifted equestrian, Saul...
When out riding one day had a fall
He landed ker-plop!

Deccydiva
10-17-2008, 02:59 AM
The gifted equestrian, Saul...
When out riding one day had a fall
He landed ker-plop!
Right on top of a cop

Nymtoc
10-17-2008, 03:56 AM
The gifted equestrian, Saul...
When out riding one day had a fall
He landed ker-plop!
Right on top of a cop
And spent the next fortnight in gaol.

:rolleyes:

When Millicent went on the stage

donroc
10-17-2008, 05:15 AM
When Millicent went on the stage
She received an exceptional wage

Nymtoc
10-17-2008, 08:37 AM
When Millicent went on the stage
She received an exceptional wage
They paid her in pearls

Moot Writer
10-17-2008, 03:05 PM
When Millicent went on the stage
She received an exceptional wage
They paid her in pearls
And dandelion curls

Sir_Nigel
10-17-2008, 04:30 PM
When Millicent went on the stage
She received an exceptional wage
They paid her in pearls
and dandelion curls
and a lark in a gold–plated cage


But she walked off the stage in a huff

Nymtoc
10-17-2008, 05:26 PM
But she walked off the stage in a huff
For she didn't want all that crass stuff

donroc
10-17-2008, 06:39 PM
But she walked off the stage in a huff
For she didn't want all that crass stuff
She danced for her art

Bufty
10-17-2008, 06:44 PM
But she walked off the stage in a huff
For she didn't want all that crass stuff.
She danced for her art
But the pompous old fart[/quote]

donroc
10-17-2008, 07:17 PM
But she walked off the stage in a huff
For she didn't want all that crass stuff.
She danced for her art
But the pompous old fart[/quote]
Demanded she gavotte in the buff.

Galina Ulanova slipped

Bufty
10-17-2008, 07:38 PM
Galina Ulanova slipped
On an orange that somebody pipped.

donroc
10-17-2008, 10:24 PM
Galina Ulanova slipped
On an orange that somebody pipped
Her understudy grinned

Nymtoc
10-17-2008, 10:42 PM
Galina Ulanova slipped
On an orange that somebody pipped
Her understudy grinned
Giselle was hers! Fair wind!

Deccydiva
10-19-2008, 04:02 PM
Galina Ulanova slipped
On an orange that somebody pipped
Her understudy grinned
Giselle was hers! Fair wind!
'Til she noticed her costume was ripped.

A fortunate man from the bog

donroc
10-19-2008, 04:20 PM
A fortunate man from the bog
Fell in the fens from too much grog

Nymtoc
10-19-2008, 07:37 PM
A fortunate man from the bog
Fell in the fens from too much grog
When he opened his eyes

donroc
10-19-2008, 08:17 PM
A fortunate man from the bog
Fell in the fens from too much grog
When he opened his eyes
He saw key lime pies

Deccydiva
10-19-2008, 08:46 PM
A fortunate man from the bog
Fell in the fens from too much grog
When he opened his eyes
He saw key lime pies
Being scoffed by a mangy old dog.

An old woman, who thought she was younger

Cherry Bear
10-19-2008, 11:19 PM
An old woman, who thought she was younger
Got skinny by ignoring her hunger

donroc
10-20-2008, 01:49 AM
An old woman, who thought she was younger
Got skinny by ignoring her hunger.
She became anorexic

Nymtoc
10-20-2008, 02:20 AM
An old woman, who thought she was younger
Got skinny by ignoring her hunger.
She became anorexic
And more than a speck sick

donroc
10-20-2008, 02:23 AM
An old woman, who thought she was younger
Got skinny by ignoring her hunger.
She became anorexic
And more than a speck sick
Then drowned in her own green lunger.

A semiotic devised by Eco

Nymtoc
10-20-2008, 02:31 AM
A semiotic devised by Eco
Compared Foucault to a gecko

donroc
10-20-2008, 04:32 AM
A semiotic devised by Eco
Compared Foucault to a gecko
As the pendulum swung

Nymtoc
10-20-2008, 05:01 AM
A semiotic devised by Eco
Compared Foucault to a gecko
As the pendulum swung
A Rose Name was sprung

Cherry Bear
10-23-2008, 08:19 AM
(Okay, there is not much that rhymes with gecko or eco so I'm improvising)

A semiotic devised by Eco
Compared Foucault to a gecko
As the pendulum swung
A Rose Name was sprung
The Earth spun around for the heck o'

A man once walked into a bar

Sir_Nigel
10-23-2008, 12:30 PM
A man once walked into a bar
And the barman said. “Kid – I can make you a star”

freddieismyqueen
10-23-2008, 02:16 PM
A man once walked into a bar
And the barman said. “Kid – I can make you a star”
The man scratched his chin

Cherry Bear
10-24-2008, 03:25 AM
A man once walked into a bar
And the barman said. “Kid – I can make you a star”
The man scratched his chin
He had pimply skin

Pthom
10-24-2008, 10:39 AM
A man once walked into a bar
And the barman said. “Kid – I can make you a star”
The man scratched his chin
He had pimply skin

um... Line two has way too many syllables. Allow me?

A man once walked into a bar
Said the barman, “Kid – you are star.”
The man scratched his chin
(He had pimply skin)
And replied: “I just ruined your car.”

Beloved, we gather today

donroc
10-24-2008, 03:20 PM
Beloved, we gather today
For dead Fido. Now let us pray

freddieismyqueen
10-24-2008, 03:27 PM
Beloved, we gather today
For dead Fido. Now let us pray
His water was tainted

Just.Jase
10-25-2008, 01:14 AM
Beloved, we gather today
For dead Fido. Now let us pray
His water was tainted
Poisoned, he fainted

Cherry Bear
10-25-2008, 03:14 AM
Beloved, we gather today
For dead Fido. Now let us pray
His water was tainted
Poisoned, he fainted
And in the white bathtub he lay

If you ever believed a fairy tale,

oneblindmouse
11-02-2008, 02:05 AM
If you ever believed a fairy tale
could morph into more than a scary tale

Sir_Nigel
11-07-2008, 03:27 PM
If you ever believed a fairy tale
could morph into more than a scary tale
You would start this again

Nymtoc
11-07-2008, 05:28 PM
If you ever believed a fairy tale
could morph into more than a scary tale
You would start this again
With a whimsical pen

Woof
11-07-2008, 05:46 PM
If you ever believed a fairy tale
could morph into more than a scary tale
You would start this again
With a whimsical pen
And a princess would kiss a hairy snail.


A man with a duck on his head

Nymtoc
11-07-2008, 06:13 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Desired a mandrill instead

Woof
11-07-2008, 06:15 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Desired a mandrill instead
He abducted an ape

Nymtoc
11-07-2008, 06:25 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Desired a mandrill instead
He abducted an ape
With its dentures agape

Woof
11-07-2008, 06:35 PM
A man with a duck on his head
Desired a mandrill instead
He abducted an ape
With its dentures agape
Rudely spitting caraway bread.


The lady, I fear, is a tramp

Nymtoc
11-07-2008, 06:46 PM
The lady, I fear, is a tramp
At least she's a terrible scamp

Sir_Nigel
11-07-2008, 07:17 PM
The lady, I fear, is a tramp
At least she's a terrible scamp
I would agree but

Woof
11-07-2008, 07:50 PM
The lady, I fear, is a tramp
At least she's a terrible scamp
I would agree but
She's really no slut

oneblindmouse
11-07-2008, 08:32 PM
The lady, I fear, is a tramp
At least she's a terrible scamp
I would agree but
She's really no slut
Despite her great name as a vamp.

This limerick thread nearly died

Woof
11-07-2008, 11:43 PM
This limerick thread nearly died
I was so forlorn I almost cried

oneblindmouse
11-07-2008, 11:50 PM
This limerick thread nearly died
I was so forlorn I almost cried
But it raised up its head

Nymtoc
11-08-2008, 12:42 AM
This limerick thread nearly died
I was so forlorn I almost cried
But it raised up its head
Like a shade from the dead

donroc
11-08-2008, 12:45 AM
This limerick thread nearly died
I was so forlorn I almost cried
But it raised up its head
Like a shade from the dead
But some lines I still cannot abide.

Mr. Bean played a Vicar they said,

Nymtoc
11-08-2008, 03:04 AM
Mr. Bean played a Vicar they said,
Toward whom bride and groom ventured with dread

Deccydiva
11-08-2008, 03:29 AM
Mr. Bean played a Vicar they said,
Toward whom bride and groom ventured with dread
He never could utter

otterman
11-08-2008, 03:57 AM
Mr. Bean played a Vicar they said,
Toward whom bride and groom ventured with dread
He never could utter
His words without stutter

Albedo of Zero
11-10-2008, 01:16 AM
Mr. Bean played a Vicar they said,
Toward whom bride and groom ventured with dread
He never could utter
His words without stutter
Was two years till the couple was wed



A friendly old ghost named Franklin

donroc
11-10-2008, 01:22 AM
A friendly old ghost named Franklin
Loved a Nieman-Marcus Mannequin

Sir_Nigel
11-10-2008, 06:02 PM
A friendly old ghost named Franklin
Loved a Nieman-Marcus Mannequin
‘Though you’re rigid and plastic....'

Woof
11-10-2008, 06:13 PM
A friendly old ghost named Franklin
Loved a Nieman-Marcus Mannequin
‘Though you’re rigid and plastic....'
And your words are sarcastic'

Sir_Nigel
11-11-2008, 01:20 PM
A friendly old ghost named Franklin
Loved a Nieman-Marcus Mannequin
‘Though you’re rigid and plastic....'
And your words are sarcastic,
Do you fancy a weekend in Shanklin?’


There’s a flaw in your plan, she said.

oneblindmouse
11-11-2008, 02:12 PM
There's a flaw in your plan, she said,
he's wounded but not fully dead

Woof
11-11-2008, 05:19 PM
There's a flaw in your plan, she said,
he's wounded but not fully dead
you knife is too dull

Nymtoc
11-11-2008, 06:40 PM
There's a flaw in your plan, she said,
he's wounded but not fully dead
your knife is too dull
to puncture his skull

Woof
11-11-2008, 06:44 PM
There's a flaw in your plan, she said,
he's wounded but not fully dead
your knife is too dull
to puncture his skull
And to seriously carve up his head.


Some people recoiled at his sight

Nymtoc
11-11-2008, 06:53 PM
Some people recoiled at his sight
When he told them he wanted to write

donroc
11-11-2008, 06:56 PM
Some people recoiled at his sight
When he told them he wanted to write
A letter to Osama

oneblindmouse
11-11-2008, 07:23 PM
Some people recoiled at his sight
When he told them he wanted to write
A letter to Osama
An email to Obana

K1P1
11-12-2008, 06:05 AM
Some people recoiled at his sight
When he told them he wanted to write
A letter to Osama
An email to Obana
The end of the world to incite.

A sexy young lady from Dallas

Sir_Nigel
11-12-2008, 12:34 PM
A sexy young lady from Dallas
was discovered in Buckingham Palace

donroc
11-12-2008, 03:52 PM
A sexy young lady from Dallas
was discovered in Buckingham Palace
Wearing only two pasties

Woof
11-12-2008, 05:20 PM
A sexy young lady from Dallas
was discovered in Buckingham Palace
Wearing only two pasties
And munching on pastries

donroc
11-12-2008, 09:32 PM
A sexy young lady from Dallas
was discovered in Buckingham Palace
Wearing only two pasties
And munching on pastries
While admiring a Beefeater's phallus.

The "Blood Countess" of Hungary

Woof
11-12-2008, 09:36 PM
The "Blood Countess" of Hungary
Knew every form of tonguery

K1P1
11-12-2008, 11:49 PM
The "Blood Countess" of Hungary
Knew every form of tonguery
She froze the poor girl

polarqueen
11-13-2008, 12:00 AM
The "Blood COuntess" of Hungary
Knew every form of tonguery
She froze the poor girl
And then gave her a whirl

K1P1
11-14-2008, 12:36 AM
The "Blood COuntess" of Hungary
Knew every form of tonguery
She froze the poor girl
And then gave her a whirl
And all by the seat of her dungaree

That ghastly young man from Vermont

Woof
11-14-2008, 12:40 AM
That ghastly young man from Vermont
Slept with a lady along with her aunt

Nymtoc
11-14-2008, 12:52 AM
That ghastly young man from Vermont
Slept with a lady along with her aunt
When the town heard the news

Woof
11-14-2008, 12:56 AM
That ghastly young man from Vermont
Slept with a lady along with her aunt
When the town heard the news
There were cheers mixed with boos

K1P1
11-14-2008, 01:17 AM
That ghastly young man from Vermont
Slept with a lady along with her aunt
When the town heard the news
There were cheers mixed with boos
Most likely from those who read Kant.

When the midshipman looked through the porthole

donroc
11-14-2008, 03:27 AM
When the midshipman looked through the porthole
And saw ashore naked girls playing football

otterman
11-14-2008, 05:01 AM
When the midshipman looked through the porthole
And saw ashore naked girls playing football
His foremast hardened

Sir_Nigel
11-17-2008, 03:00 PM
When the midshipman looked through the porthole
And saw ashore naked girls playing football
His foremast hardened
But the captain soon pardoned

K1P1
11-17-2008, 04:37 PM
When the midshipman looked through the porthole
And saw ashore naked girls playing football
His foremast hardened
But the captain soon pardoned
Him under pressure from the court, whole.

[I got really hung up trying to find an accent where porthole and football would rhyme...]

There once was a man who liked knock-knocks

Sir_Nigel
11-17-2008, 05:07 PM
There once was a man who liked knock-knocks
‘Who’s there?’ he asked , wearing his mock fox

donroc
11-17-2008, 05:18 PM
There once was a man who liked knock-knocks
‘Who’s there?’ he asked , wearing his mock fox.
"Your old school friend, Abou."

Sir_Nigel
11-17-2008, 05:45 PM
There once was a man who liked knock-knocks
‘Who’s there?’ he asked , wearing his mock fox.
"Your old school friend, Abou
and my Thai bride Kim Su"

Deccydiva
11-17-2008, 08:19 PM
There once was a man who liked knock-knocks
‘Who’s there?’ he asked , wearing his mock fox.
"Your old school friend, Abou
and my Thai bride Kim Su"
-and a load more we met at the docks!"

A young man who had two Dalmatians

Albedo of Zero
11-18-2008, 05:17 AM
A young man who had two Dalmatians
was undulated from wagging vibrations

Woof
11-18-2008, 05:50 PM
A young man who had two Dalmatians
was undulated from wagging vibrations
He started to snarl

polarqueen
11-19-2008, 07:17 AM
A young man who had two Dalmatians
was undulated from wagging vibrations
He started to snarl
at one dog named "Carl"

Nymtoc
11-19-2008, 08:47 AM
A young man who had two Dalmatians
was undulated from wagging vibrations
He started to snarl
at one dog named "Carl"
and that led to intense perturbations.

:e2fight:

With his cross-country skis Jim set out

Woof
11-19-2008, 07:09 PM
With his cross-country skis Jim set out
Due north on the Matterhorn route

donroc
11-19-2008, 07:13 PM
With his cross-country skis Jim set out
Due north on the Matterhorn route.
He yodeled a cool riff

Woof
11-19-2008, 07:15 PM
With his cross-country skis Jim set out
Due north on the Matterhorn route.
He yodeled a cool riff
But his lips were too stiff

Deccydiva
11-19-2008, 08:55 PM
With his cross-country skis Jim set out
Due north on the Matterhorn route.
He yodeled a cool riff
But his lips were too stiff
And that was not all, no doubt!

An Irishman named Sean Delaney

Nymtoc
11-19-2008, 10:52 PM
An Irishman named Sean Delaney
Lusted after a colleen named Janey

K1P1
11-20-2008, 05:00 AM
An Irishman named Sean Delaney
Lusted after a colleen named Janey
Her figure was luscious

polarqueen
11-20-2008, 07:48 AM
An Irishman named Sean Delaney
Lusted after a colleen named Janey
Her figure was luscious,
her boobs and her tush-cious.

Sir_Nigel
11-20-2008, 12:45 PM
An Irishman named Sean Delaney
Lusted after a colleen named Janey
Her figure was luscious,
her boobs and her tush-cious.
She was gorgeous but not very brainy


A purveyor of olives from Greece

flyingtart
11-20-2008, 04:29 PM
A purveyor of olives from Greece
Had a very attractive young niece

donroc
11-20-2008, 04:59 PM
A purveyor of olives from Greece
Had a very attractive young niece
With a face like a goddess

Woof
11-20-2008, 05:28 PM
A purveyor of olives from Greece
Had a very attractive young niece
With a face like a goddess
And a form-fitting bodice

K1P1
11-20-2008, 05:30 PM
A purveyor of olives from Greece
Had a very attractive young niece
With a face like a goddess
And a form-fitting bodice
But legs covered with dark wiry fleece!

When Goldilocks ate all the porridge

flyingtart
11-21-2008, 04:20 PM
When Goldilocks ate all the porridge
She wandered outside for a forage

K1P1
11-21-2008, 04:39 PM
When Goldilocks ate all the porridge
She wandered outside for a forage
But all she could find

donroc
11-21-2008, 05:34 PM
When Goldilocks ate all the porridge
She wandered outside for a forage
But all she could find
Was one orange rind

Nymtoc
11-21-2008, 11:28 PM
When Goldilocks ate all the porridge
She wandered outside for a forage
But all she could find
Was one orange rind
On which she could never quite gor-idge. [Ouch!]

Rumpelstiltskin was not very nice

Woof
11-21-2008, 11:35 PM
Rumpelstiltskin was not very nice
As a name-guessing literary device

K1P1
11-23-2008, 01:17 AM
Rumpelstiltskin was not very nice
As a name-guessing literary device
His reasonable function

flyingtart
11-23-2008, 05:21 PM
Rumpelstiltskin was not very nice
As a name-guessing literary device
His reasonable function
Was providing unction

donroc
11-23-2008, 07:03 PM
Rumpelstiltskin was not very nice
As a name-guessing literary device
His reasonable function
Was providing unction
At a most unfavorable price.

A seaman aboard the Titantic

Nymtoc
11-23-2008, 08:00 PM
A seaman aboard the Titantic
Said, "She'll never sink, so don't panic,"

donroc
11-23-2008, 09:05 PM
A seaman aboard the Titantic
Said, "She'll never sink, so don't panic,"
"British-made," added the purser.

flyingtart
11-23-2008, 09:06 PM
A seaman aboard the Titantic
Said, "She'll never sink, so don't panic,"
"British-made," added the purser
"So don't ever curse 'er"

otterman
11-24-2008, 01:11 AM
A seaman aboard the Titanic
Said, "She'll never sink, so don't panic,"
"British-made," added the purser
So don't ever curse 'er,
But would you happen to be a mechanic?"


Byron and Shelley were rhyming

Deccydiva
11-24-2008, 02:22 AM
Byron and Shelley were rhyming
But Shelley was off with his timing

Nymtoc
11-24-2008, 03:15 AM
Byron and Shelley were rhyming
But Shelley was off with his timing
They turned to Rob Browning

donroc
11-24-2008, 03:40 AM
Byron and Shelley were rhyming
But Shelley was off with his timing
They turned to Rob Browning
Whilst Liz Barrett was frowning

Albedo of Zero
11-24-2008, 05:30 AM
Byron and Shelley were rhyming
But Shelley was off with his timing
They turned to Rob Browning
Whilst Liz Barrett was frowning
And Keats was too busy subliming



One day on the golden brick road

StephanieFox
11-24-2008, 08:06 AM
One day on the golden brick road
A commodities trader cried "Hold!"

oneblindmouse
11-24-2008, 02:42 PM
One day on the golden brick road
A commodities trader cried "Hold!
The recession in Oz

donroc
11-24-2008, 05:14 PM
One day on the golden brick road
A commodities trader cried "Hold!
The recession in Oz
I can sense with my schnozz'

flyingtart
11-24-2008, 05:49 PM
One day on the golden brick road
A commodities trader cried "Hold!
The recession in Oz
I can sense with my schnozz"
Don't you think that was terribly bold?

A weight-lifting giant called Red

oneblindmouse
11-24-2008, 07:32 PM
A weight-lifting giant called Red
Had a growth on the side of his head

Nymtoc
11-24-2008, 07:41 PM
A weight-lifting giant called Red
Had a growth on the side of his head
He called it Pierre

StephanieFox
11-25-2008, 02:12 AM
A weight-lifting giant called Red
Had a growth on the side of his head
He called it Pierre
As he groomed it with Nair*™





*A brand of depilitory

otterman
11-25-2008, 05:03 AM
A weight-lifting giant called Red
Had a growth on the side of his head
He called it Pierre
As he groomed it with Nair*™
And that one imperfection was shed


This one looks nothing like that,

Albedo of Zero
11-25-2008, 05:32 AM
This one looks nothing like that,
as a matter of fact it's more fat

flyingtart
11-25-2008, 05:04 PM
This one looks nothing like that,
as a matter of fact it's more fat
Except at the side

StephanieFox
11-29-2008, 01:45 AM
This one looks nothing like that,
as a matter of fact it's more fat
Except at the side
Where it's solid, not pied

flyingtart
11-29-2008, 08:51 PM
This one looks nothing like that,
as a matter of fact it's more fat
Except at the side
Where it's solid, not pied
And resembles a barbecued cat.

A fellow of note from Brazil

otterman
11-29-2008, 09:16 PM
A fellow of note from Brazil,
One day began writing his will,

Albedo of Zero
11-29-2008, 09:21 PM
A fellow of note from Brazil,
One day began writing his will,
his skill in division

donroc
11-29-2008, 09:21 PM
A fellow of note from Brazil,
One day began writing his will,
While dancing the samba

otterman
11-29-2008, 09:24 PM
A fellow of note from Brazil,
One day began writing his will,
While dancing the samba,
He bequeathed his black mamba,

flyingtart
11-29-2008, 11:16 PM
A fellow of note from Brazil,
One day began writing his will,
While dancing the samba,
He bequeathed his black mamba,
To a frisky young waitress named Jill.


The nurse turned to me with a smile

StephanieFox
11-30-2008, 12:40 AM
The nurse turned to me with a smile
Said she, "You will be here for awhile."

donroc
11-30-2008, 02:08 AM
The nurse turned to me with a smile
Said she, "You will be here for awhile."
I cringed. 'Twas Miss Rachett.

flyingtart
11-30-2008, 06:07 PM
The nurse turned to me with a smile
Said she, "You will be here for awhile."
I cringed. 'Twas Miss Rachett.
But I didn't catch it,

otterman
12-01-2008, 04:22 AM
The nurse turned to me with a smile
Said she, "You will be here for awhile."
I cringed. 'Twas Miss Rachett.
But I didn't catch it,
Schizophrenia makes me live in denial


My keyboard keeps writing bad words,

Nymtoc
12-01-2008, 04:58 AM
My keyboard keeps writing bad words,
Like "ass****" and "clusterf***" and "t****,"

donroc
12-01-2008, 05:20 AM
My keyboard keeps writing bad words,
Like "ass****" and "clusterf***" and "t****,"
But it omitted schm***-face

Albedo of Zero
12-01-2008, 05:39 AM
My keyboard keeps writing bad words,
Like "ass****" and "clusterf***" and "t****,"
But it omitted schm***-face
I don't have to backspace

flyingtart
12-01-2008, 03:36 PM
My keyboard keeps writing bad words,
Like "ass****" and "clusterf***" and "t****,"
But it omitted schm***-face
I don't have to backspace
Swearing is strictly for the birds!

A doctor who studied for years

Sir_Nigel
12-01-2008, 03:56 PM
A doctor who studied for years
with his fingers stuck fast in his ears

Nymtoc
12-01-2008, 05:25 PM
A doctor who studied for years
with his fingers stuck fast in his ears
refused to admit

Deccydiva
12-01-2008, 06:45 PM
A doctor who studied for years
with his fingers stuck fast in his ears
refused to admit
that he owned the right kit

donroc
12-01-2008, 07:34 PM
A doctor who studied for years
with his fingers stuck fast in his ears
refused to admit
that he owned the right kit
To heal piles and boils in the rears.

Goldfinger, the proctologist,

flyingtart
12-01-2008, 07:46 PM
Goldfinger, the proctologist,
One day was seen waving his fist

talkwrite
12-01-2008, 11:26 PM
Goldfinger, the proctologist,
One day was seen waving his fist
With flushed cheeks puffed

Sir_Nigel
12-02-2008, 05:35 PM
Goldfinger, the proctologist,
One day was seen waving his fist
With flushed cheeks puffed
he doggedly stuffed

flyingtart
12-03-2008, 06:36 PM
Goldfinger, the proctologist,
One day was seen waving his fist
With flushed cheeks puffed
he doggedly stuffed...
Well I think you'll be getting the gist.


She lived at the foot of a hill

Woof
12-03-2008, 06:41 PM
She lived at the foot of a hill
Where there grew a field of dill

donroc
12-03-2008, 06:52 PM
She lived at the foot of a hill
Where there grew a field of dill
'Twas there she got pickled

Woof
12-03-2008, 07:01 PM
She lived at the foot of a hill
Where there grew a field of dill
'Twas there she got pickled
Also dimed and nickeled

talkwrite
12-03-2008, 08:56 PM
She lived at the foot of a hill
Where there grew a field of dill
'Twas there she got pickled
Also dimed and nickeled
Hence, Irene R. Smith lives there still

A writer lamented rejection

Woof
12-03-2008, 09:41 PM
A writer lamented rejection
Of his unsolicited erection

flyingtart
12-03-2008, 09:45 PM
A writer lamented rejection
Of his unsolicited erection
"I do not see why

Woof
12-03-2008, 09:47 PM
A writer lamented rejection
Of his unsolicited erection
"I do not see why
I should zip up my fly"

flyingtart
12-03-2008, 09:50 PM
A writer lamented rejection
Of his unsolicited erection
"I do not see why
I should zip up my fly"
He said, during a police inspection.


While taking my dog for a stroll

Woof
12-03-2008, 09:55 PM
While taking my dog for a stroll
I fell into a very deep hole

Nymtoc
12-03-2008, 10:02 PM
While taking my dog for a stroll
I fell into a very deep hole
I cried out for help

Deccydiva
12-03-2008, 10:50 PM
While taking my dog for a stroll
I fell into a very deep hole
I cried out for help
While the dog gave a yelp

donroc
12-03-2008, 11:56 PM
While taking my dog for a stroll
I fell into a very deep hole
I cried out for help
While the dog gave a yelp
And an onlooker said, "Quelle dròle."

Big Littlejohn whittled his stave

flyingtart
12-03-2008, 11:59 PM
Big Littlejohn whittled his stave
And for that he was labelled a knave

Woof
12-04-2008, 12:27 AM
Big Littlejohn whittled his stave
And for that he was labelled a knave
His tights were too snug

Deccydiva
12-04-2008, 12:46 AM
Big Littlejohn whittled his stave
And for that he was labelled a knave
His tights were too snug
Home to a nasty old bug

otterman
12-04-2008, 04:10 AM
Big Littlejohn whittled his stave
And for that he was labeled a knave
His tights were too snug
Home to a nasty old bug
That he liked to refer to as "Dave"


Sally-Anne looked herself in the mirror,

Nymtoc
12-04-2008, 05:34 AM
Sally-Anne looked herself in the mirror,
Her long locks were in need of a shearer

donroc
12-04-2008, 05:52 AM
Sally-Anne looked herself in the mirror,
Her long locks were in need of a shearer
An Outback Aussie appeared

flyingtart
12-04-2008, 07:54 PM
Sally-Anne looked herself in the mirror,
Her long locks were in need of a shearer
An Outback Aussie appeared
And caustically sneered

otterman
12-05-2008, 05:08 AM
Sally-Anne looked herself in the mirror,
Her long locks were in need of a shearer
An Outback Aussie appeared
And caustically sneered
"Aye, little Sheila, come nearer!"


Hope had been lost for Queen Mary,

Sir_Nigel
12-05-2008, 01:43 PM
Hope had been lost for Queen Mary
‘I’m Sparkle!’ she cried ‘ I’m a fairy!’

donroc
12-05-2008, 04:22 PM
Hope had been lost for Queen Mary
‘I’m Sparkle!’ she cried ‘ I’m a fairy!’
She sprinkled some dust.

flyingtart
12-05-2008, 04:49 PM
Hope had been lost for Queen Mary
‘I’m Sparkle!’ she cried ‘ I’m a fairy!’
She sprinkled some dust.
Which was caught in a gust

Albedo of Zero
12-06-2008, 05:32 AM
Hope had been lost for Queen Mary
‘I’m Sparkle!’ she cried ‘ I’m a fairy!’
She sprinkled some dust.
Which was caught in a gust
And *POOF* she became Queen Harry



If ever there was a mean teacher

flyingtart
12-07-2008, 03:35 PM
If ever there was a mean teacher
It was my Maths master, old Meacher

Woof
12-08-2008, 06:35 PM
If ever there was a mean teacher
It was my Maths master, old Meacher
He was ever so strict

donroc
12-08-2008, 06:55 PM
If ever there was a mean teacher
It was my Maths master, old Meacher
He was ever so strict
And much pain did afflict

talkwrite
12-08-2008, 08:06 PM
If ever there was a mean teacher
It was my Maths master, old Meacher
He was ever so strict
And much pain did afflict
Glares were his prominent feature

My town boasts a dancing postman

flyingtart
12-08-2008, 11:13 PM
My town boasts a dancing postman
While delivering he'll do the can-can

donroc
12-09-2008, 12:21 AM
My town boasts a dancing postman
While delivering he'll do the can-can
And conclude with a moon

Woof
12-09-2008, 12:47 AM
My town boasts a dancing postman
While delivering he'll do the can-can
And conclude with a moon
Whistling a dirty tune

flyingtart
12-09-2008, 02:20 AM
My town boasts a dancing postman
While delivering he'll do the can-can
And conclude with a moon
Whistling a dirty tune
Before hurrying off in his van


My sister was pledged to be wed

talkwrite
12-09-2008, 03:28 AM
My sister was pledged to be wed
His James Bond's looks went to her head

donroc
12-09-2008, 03:55 AM
My sister was pledged to be wed
His James Bond's looks went to her head
She shook his martini

Sir_Nigel
12-09-2008, 12:26 PM
My sister was pledged to be wed
His James Bond's looks went to her head
She shook his martini
and removed her bikini

Woof
12-09-2008, 05:21 PM
My sister was pledged to be wed
His James Bond's looks went to her head
She shook his martini
and removed her bikini
Then he promptly took her to bed.


Three reindeer were laid off this week

Sir_Nigel
12-09-2008, 06:12 PM
Three reindeer were laid off this week
Their future looked hopelessly bleak

talkwrite
12-10-2008, 02:56 AM
Three reindeer were laid off this week
Their future looked hopelessly bleak
They are outsourced now

donroc
12-10-2008, 03:42 AM
Three reindeer were laid off this week
Their future looked hopelessly bleak
They are outsourced now
To a guy in Macao

BudBoxer
12-10-2008, 06:39 AM
Three reindeer were laid off this week
Their future looked hopelessly bleak
They are outsourced now
To a guy in Macao
Venison is what he doth seek.

Christmas comes no matter whether

tinselcleo
12-10-2008, 08:24 AM
You have enough dough to buy Aunt Jojo a sweater

flyingtart
12-10-2008, 02:35 PM
Christmas comes no matter whether
You have enough dough to buy Aunt Jojo a sweater
So deck the halls

BudBoxer
12-10-2008, 04:47 PM
Christmas comes no matter whether
You have enough dough to buy Aunt Jojo a sweater
So deck the halls
Hay up the stalls

donroc
12-10-2008, 05:39 PM
Christmas comes no matter whether
You have enough dough to buy Aunt Jojo a sweater
So deck the halls
Hay up the stalls
And all your reindeer untether.

Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear

Woof
12-10-2008, 05:48 PM
Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear
Had a very drippy nose, I fear

tinselcleo
12-10-2008, 06:03 PM
Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear
Had a very drippy nose, I fear
He put on his galoshes

Woof
12-10-2008, 06:07 PM
Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear
Had a very drippy nose, I fear
He put on his galoshes
And off he sloshes

tinselcleo
12-10-2008, 06:25 PM
Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear
Had a very drippy nose, I fear
He put on his galoshes
And off he sloshes
So in the end, we don't see nose, we see rear!


The little white bunny goes hippoty-hop

talkwrite
12-10-2008, 07:18 PM
The little white bunny goes hippoty-hop
Into a snow drift and now he is stopped