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StephanieFox
07-06-2008, 04:33 AM
If ever there was a disaster
Consider a house made of plaster
A wind comes along
and blew it to Hong Kong
It's a free trip and you'll get there faster.



The Japanese love their TV

Just.Jase
07-06-2008, 05:44 AM
The Japanese love their TV
Confusing us with origami

Matera the Mad
07-06-2008, 08:21 AM
The Japanese love their TV
Confusing us with origami.
A huge paper moth

StephanieFox
07-06-2008, 11:11 PM
The Japanese love their TV
Confusing us with origami.
A huge paper moth
(Or perhaps it was Thoth)

Robert Farley
07-07-2008, 03:36 AM
The Japanese love their TV
Confusing us with origami.
A huge paper moth
(Or perhaps it was Thoth)
Was unclear unless viewed in HD.


Jim played a red Telecaster

Matera the Mad
07-07-2008, 07:13 AM
Jim played a red Telecaster
With his pick moving faster and faster

Just.Jase
07-07-2008, 09:09 AM
Jim played a red Telecaster
With his pick moving faster and faster
His eyes were squinted

talkwrite
07-07-2008, 08:33 PM
Jim played a red Telecaster
With his pick moving faster and faster
His eyes were squinted
As talent was hinted

Matera the Mad
07-08-2008, 12:09 PM
Jim played a red Telecaster
With his pick moving faster and faster
His eyes were squinted
As talent was hinted
But his chording was total disaster.


A sly old gal on her vacation

Just.Jase
07-08-2008, 01:04 PM
A sly old gal on her vacation
Filmed her own animation

Robert Farley
07-08-2008, 04:07 PM
A sly old gal on her vacation
Filmed her own animation
She streamed it online

talkwrite
07-08-2008, 08:17 PM
A sly old gal on her vacation
Filmed her own animation
She streamed it online
Pixel called on time

Just.Jase
07-09-2008, 02:49 AM
A sly old gal on her vacation
Filmed her own animation
She streamed it online
Pixel called on time
Now it's the latest blockbuster sensation.

______________________
Two women were at the hairdresser

Matera the Mad
07-09-2008, 03:56 AM
Two women were at the hairdresser
One dame called the other a fresser

Sir_Nigel
07-09-2008, 04:42 PM
Two women were at the hairdresser
One dame called the other a fresser
And by way of reply

donroc
07-09-2008, 04:48 PM
Two women were at the hairdresser
One dame called the other a fresser
And by way of reply
She did not deny

Woof
07-09-2008, 05:49 PM
Two women were at the hairdresser
One dame called the other a fresser
And by way of reply
She did not deny
That men always tried to undress her.


A man who was coarse and uncouth.

donroc
07-09-2008, 07:54 PM
A man who was coarse and uncouth
Offended a woman named Ruth

Woof
07-09-2008, 10:46 PM
A man who was coarse and uncouth
Offended a woman named Ruth
He drooled down her blouse

Nymtoc
07-09-2008, 11:49 PM
A man who was coarse and uncouth
Offended a woman named Ruth
He drooled down her blouse
And made fun of her spouse

donroc
07-09-2008, 11:58 PM
A man who was coarse and uncouth
Offended a woman named Ruth
He drooled down her blouse
And made fun of her spouse
Who then knocked him all the way back to Duluth.

A clown wore frightening makeup

StephanieFox
07-10-2008, 12:23 AM
A clown wore frightening makeup
For a new kind of job that he's take up

Matera the Mad
07-10-2008, 05:05 AM
A clown wore frightening makeup
For a new kind of job that he's take up
He sits in a chair

Lillyth
07-10-2008, 05:57 AM
A clown wore frightening makeup
For a new kind of job that he's take up
He sits in a chair
All alone he sits there

Robert Farley
07-10-2008, 06:04 AM
A clown wore frightening makeup
For a new kind of job that [he takes] up
He sits in a chair
All alone he sits there
In fear that his grease paint might break up

=====

And now for some words quite absurd

<><><>><>

Lillyth
07-10-2008, 06:48 AM
And now for some words quite absurd
THIS limerick is about a bird

Matera the Mad
07-10-2008, 09:08 AM
And now for some words quite absurd
THIS limerick is about a bird
It sits in a tree

Just.Jase
07-10-2008, 10:30 AM
And now for some words quite absurd
THIS limerick is about a bird
It sits in a tree
There, down by the sea

Woof
07-10-2008, 06:01 PM
And now for some words quite absurd
THIS limerick is about a bird
It sits in a tree
There, down by the sea
And hourly drops down a turd.


This morning I dreamed of a cow

qwerty
07-10-2008, 06:11 PM
This morning I dreamed of a cow
I saw it in bed with a sow

Woof
07-10-2008, 06:20 PM
This morning I dreamed of a cow
I saw it in bed with a sow
Then a goat jumped in

donroc
07-10-2008, 06:26 PM
This morning I dreamed of a cow
I saw it in bed with a sow
Then a goat jumped in
With a Dionysian grin

talkwrite
07-10-2008, 08:01 PM
This morning I dreamed of a cow
I saw it in bed with a sow
Then a goat jumped in
With a Dionysian grin
So I left the room with a bow

Last night I dreamed of an island

Robert Farley
07-11-2008, 01:44 AM
Last night I dreamed of an island
Neither Greenland, New Zealand, nor Saipan

donroc
07-11-2008, 02:07 AM
Last night I dreamed of an island
Neither Greenland, New Zealand, nor Saipan
It was misty and green

Just.Jase
07-11-2008, 03:16 AM
Last night I dreamed of an island
Neither Greenland, New Zealand, nor Saipan
It was misty and green
And rather serene

donroc
07-11-2008, 03:35 AM
Last night I dreamed of an island
Neither Greenland, New Zealand, nor Saipan
It was misty and green
And rather serene
'Til students on spring break became all gland.

A KGB agent named Putin

Woof
07-11-2008, 04:23 AM
A KGB agent named Putin
Became sorta' high fallutin'

Matera the Mad
07-11-2008, 04:28 AM
A KGB agent named Putin
Became sorta' high fallutin'
He polished his shoes

Woof
07-11-2008, 04:32 AM
A KGB agent named Putin
Became sorta' high fallutin'
He polished his shoes
And began to peruse

Matera the Mad
07-11-2008, 04:35 AM
A KGB agent named Putin
Became sorta' high fallutin'
He polished his shoes
And began to peruse
When eight black-masked men came in shootin'


Beneath a broad tree lay a dragon

Woof
07-11-2008, 04:38 AM
Beneath a broad tree lay a dragon
Drinking a brew from a flagon

donroc
07-11-2008, 06:14 AM
Beneath a broad tree lay a dragon
Drinking a brew from a flagon
Until he got shikker

Leellana
07-11-2008, 10:05 AM
Beneath a broad tree lay a dragon
Drinking a brew from a flagon
Until he got shikker
On that horrible likker

Just.Jase
07-11-2008, 01:40 PM
Beneath a broad tree lay a dragon
Drinking a brew from a flagon
Until he got shikker
On that horrible likker
And now his skin is saggin'

__________
A woman answered a call

donroc
07-11-2008, 03:15 PM
A woman answered a call
At an escort service in St. Paul

Woof
07-11-2008, 05:46 PM
A woman answered a call
At an escort service in St. Paul
It was a lewd request

Albedo
07-11-2008, 05:56 PM
A woman answered a call
At an escort service in St. Paul
It was a lewd request
Which she met with great zest

donroc
07-11-2008, 06:12 PM
A woman answered a call
At an escort service in St. Paul
It was a lewd request
Which she met with great zest
And serviced the team each one and all.

A galloping Gael from Killarny

Woof
07-11-2008, 06:46 PM
A galloping Gael from Killarny
Was just so full of the blarney

HeronW
07-12-2008, 03:33 AM
A galloping Gael from Killarny
Was just so full of the blarney
he choked on his Guinness

Robert Farley
07-12-2008, 04:08 AM
A galloping Gael from Killarny
Was just so full of the blarney
he choked on his Guinness
Not minding his bui'ness

rhymegirl
07-12-2008, 04:12 AM
A galloping Gael from Killarny
Was just so full of the blarney
he choked on his Guinness
Not minding his bui'ness
And now he's as purple as Barney.


I'm thinking of having a drinky

donroc
07-12-2008, 05:09 AM
I'm thinking of having a drinky
With a femme fatale quite slinky

Matera the Mad
07-12-2008, 05:12 AM
I'm thinking of having a drinky
With a femme fatale quite slinky
If our ink's not dry

otterman
07-12-2008, 05:13 AM
I'm thinking of having a drinky
With a femme fatale quite slinky
If our ink's not dry
I'll sip on some rye

Albedo
07-12-2008, 06:22 AM
I'm thinking of having a drinky
With a femme fatale quite slinky
If our ink's not dry
I'll sip on some rye
While she smudges the ink with her pinky.

I married a honey-glazed ham

Just.Jase
07-12-2008, 06:25 AM
I married a honey-glazed ham
Realised that it was a scam

Leellana
07-12-2008, 01:18 PM
I married a honey-glazed ham
Realised that it was a scam
I took it quite hard

Woof
07-12-2008, 05:08 PM
I married a honey-glazed ham
Realised that it was a scam
I took it quite hard
Then squeezed out the lard

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 05:17 PM
I married a honey-glazed ham
Realised that it was a scam
I took it quite hard
Then squeezed out the lard
The remainder, I packaged as SPAMTM

Woof
07-12-2008, 05:19 PM
...and the next line is? *drum roll*

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 05:21 PM
Sorry 'bout the delay... how about...

If people were not so impatient

Woof
07-12-2008, 05:28 PM
If people were not so impatient
They'd hand all their work to an agent

Just.Jase
07-13-2008, 03:53 AM
If people were not so impatient
They'd hand all their work to an agent
Hiring a PA

Robert Farley
07-13-2008, 04:03 AM
If people were not so impatient
They'd hand all their work to an agent
Hiring a PA
Just might make your day

Matera the Mad
07-13-2008, 04:36 AM
If people were not so impatient
They'd hand all their work to an agent
Hiring a PA
Just might make your day
And get you in print with less agin'


In a fantasy kingdom one day

Just.Jase
07-13-2008, 04:44 AM
In a fantasy kingdom one day
A little fairy did say

Robert Farley
07-13-2008, 02:03 PM
In a fantasy kingdom one day
A little fairy did say
In all my back story

Leellana
07-13-2008, 03:51 PM
In a fantasy kingdom one day
A little fairy did say
In all my back story
There is lots of glory

donroc
07-13-2008, 04:51 PM
In a fantasy kingdom one day
A little fairy did say
In all my back story
There is lots of glory
And my humor is naturally fey.

Roman matron Frigida Neurosa

Albedo
07-13-2008, 05:09 PM
Roman matron Frigida Neurosa
Said to her slave: "come a bit closer"

Woof
07-13-2008, 07:54 PM
Roman matron Frigida Neurosa
Said to her slave: "come a bit closer"
"And place your hand

donroc
07-13-2008, 08:07 PM
Roman matron Frigida Neurosa
Said to her slave: "come a bit closer"
"And place your hand
On my gland."

Woof
07-13-2008, 08:13 PM
Roman matron Frigida Neurosa
Said to her slave: "come a bit closer"
"And place your hand
On my gland."
"And sing me the Lacrimosa."


The Queen held a garden party

Nymtoc
07-13-2008, 08:17 PM
The queen held a garden party
But one of her guests was quite tarty

Woof
07-13-2008, 08:27 PM
The queen held a garden party
But one of her guests was quite tarty
Attempting to curtsy

Robert Farley
07-13-2008, 10:40 PM
Oops.

Just.Jase
07-14-2008, 03:12 AM
The queen held a garden party
But one of her guests was quite tarty
Attempting to curtsy
and being oh-so-flirtsy

Robert Farley
07-14-2008, 05:10 AM
The queen held a garden party
But one of her guests was quite tarty
Attempting to curtsy
and being oh-so-flirtsy
She boomed like Felix Pappalardi

<><>

I once met a clown on a jet


==========

Matera the Mad
07-14-2008, 05:46 AM
I once met a clown on a jet
Who dared me to jump, on a bet

Just.Jase
07-14-2008, 07:22 AM
I once met a clown on a jet
Who dared me to jump, on a bet
I tripped on his shoe

t0neg0d
07-14-2008, 08:49 AM
I once met a clown on a jet
Who dared me to jump, on a bet
I tripped on his shoe
And he fell out too

Leellana
07-14-2008, 10:23 AM
I once met a clown on a jet
Who dared me to jump, on a bet
I tripped on his shoe
And he fell out too
And I wish that we hadn't have met.


There once was a girl with a patch

Just.Jase
07-14-2008, 11:33 AM
There once was a girl with a patch
Held to her face with a latch

talkwrite
07-14-2008, 08:15 PM
There once was a girl with a patch
Held to her face with a latch
If you caught her eye

Robert Farley
07-15-2008, 04:18 AM
There once was a girl with a patch
Held to her face with a latch
If you caught her eye
And didn't say hi

Sempine
07-15-2008, 05:53 AM
There once was a girl with a patch
Held to her face with a latch
If you caught her eye
And didn't say hi
She'd quickly give you one to match

A stunning young lady named Ruth

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 05:55 AM
A stunning young lady named Ruth
Would frequently shake her caboose

Matera the Mad
07-15-2008, 05:59 AM
A stunning young lady named Ruth
Would frequently shake her caboose
Her heinie wagged free

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 06:00 AM
A stunning young lady named Ruth
Would frequently shake her caboose
Her heinie wagged free
Or, so sayeth me


(am I allowed to post 2x in one of these? O.o)

Matera the Mad
07-15-2008, 06:05 AM
A stunning young lady named Ruth
Would frequently shake her caboose
Her heinie wagged free
Or, so sayeth me
Until her pants worked their way loose.


A shiny newcomer to Moscow

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 06:10 AM
A shiny newcomer to Moscow
Made note of all those that he would plow

Matera the Mad
07-15-2008, 06:20 AM
A shiny newcomer to Moscow
Made note of all those that he would plow
But maidens divine

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 07:27 AM
A shiny newcomer to Moscow
Made note of all those that he would plow
But maidens divine
Only nuns on the line

Robert Farley
07-15-2008, 03:27 PM
A shiny newcomer to Moscow
Made note of all those that he would plow
But maidens divine
Only nuns on the line
Said, "No way, no when, no why, no how."

========

If you're ever in Kalamazoo

Woof
07-15-2008, 08:18 PM
If you're ever in Kalamazoo
And want to play a kazoo

Nymtoc
07-15-2008, 08:33 PM
If you're ever in Kalamazoo
And want to play a kazoo,
Go sit in the park

Woof
07-15-2008, 10:32 PM
If you're ever in Kalamazoo
And want to play a kazoo,
Go sit in the park
And chew on some bark

Nymtoc
07-15-2008, 11:11 PM
If you're ever in Kalamazoo
And want to play a kazoo,
Go sit in the park
And chew on some bark
And if people object, tell them "Foo!"

:wag:

A mysterious dude from the Bronx

donroc
07-15-2008, 11:22 PM
A mysterious dude from the Bronx
Lived on a diet of conchs

Woof
07-15-2008, 11:50 PM
A mysterious dude from the Bronx
Lived on a diet of conchs
His skin was clammy

Nymtoc
07-15-2008, 11:53 PM
A mysterious dude from the Bronx
Lived on a diet of conchs
His skin was clammy
So he moved to Miami

Woof
07-15-2008, 11:57 PM
A mysterious dude from the Bronx
Lived on a diet of conchs
His skin was clammy
So he moved to Miami
And was forever filled with angst.


A sailor who was crude and immoral

talkwrite
07-16-2008, 01:05 AM
A sailor who was crude and immoral
Wore cologne that was just slightly floral

Sempine
07-16-2008, 01:05 AM
A sailor who was crude and immoral
Wore cologne that was just slightly floral
When thrown in the brig

talkwrite
07-16-2008, 01:10 AM
A sailor who was crude and immoral
Wore cologne that was just slightly floral
When thrown in the brig
He soon danced a jig

Sempine
07-16-2008, 01:18 AM
A sailor who was crude and immoral
Wore cologne that was just slightly floral
When thrown in the brig
He soon danced a jig
With two sheep and a pig--quite pastoral

When I found my dog's house aflame

Robert Farley
07-16-2008, 02:33 AM
When I found my dog's house aflame
At once I knew who was to blame

donroc
07-16-2008, 02:36 AM
When I found my dog's house aflame
At once I knew who was to blame
The cat was the culprit

Matera the Mad
07-16-2008, 05:05 AM
When I found my dog's house aflame
At once I knew who was to blame
The cat was the culprit
Her smug face was guilt-writ

Woof
07-16-2008, 05:48 PM
When I found my dog's house aflame
At once I knew who was to blame
The cat was the culprit
Her smug face was guilt-writ
And she felt not a shred of shame.


A bull that bought a china shop

Robert Farley
07-16-2008, 07:58 PM
A bull that bought a china shop
Would often more than china drop

talkwrite
07-16-2008, 09:29 PM
A bull that bought a china shop
Would often more than china drop
He freaked at Lalique

donroc
07-17-2008, 02:38 AM
A bull that bought a china shop
Would often more than china drop
He freaked at Lalique
Then trashed his boutique

t0neg0d
07-17-2008, 02:47 AM
A bull that bought a china shop
Would often more than china drop
He freaked at Lalique
Then trashed his boutique
If thumbs he did have, he might stop

#

A man with one leg tried to run

donroc
07-17-2008, 02:49 AM
A man with one leg tried to run
From an exceptionally horny nun

Just.Jase
07-17-2008, 03:23 AM
A man with one leg tried to run
From an exceptionally horny nun
He tripped on his stump

Matera the Mad
07-17-2008, 05:25 AM
A man with one leg tried to run
From an exceptionally horny nun
He tripped on his stump
And fell on his rump

Woof
07-17-2008, 04:52 PM
A man with one leg tried to run
From an exceptionally horny nun
He tripped on his stump
And fell on his rump
She leaped and then had some fun.



A man who was rather aloof

Sempine
07-17-2008, 05:00 PM
A man who was rather aloof
Was found fast asleep on his roof

Woof
07-17-2008, 05:11 PM
A man who was rather aloof
Was found fast asleep on his roof
A pigeon had pooped

Sempine
07-17-2008, 05:19 PM
A man who was rather aloof
Was found fast asleep on his roof
A pigeon had pooped
Climbing up there he scooped

Robert Farley
07-18-2008, 12:02 AM
A man who was rather aloof
Was found fast asleep on his roof
A pigeon had pooped
Climbing up there he scooped
He swooped and was gone with a poof.

...

Chickens don't make the best pillows

...

Sempine
07-18-2008, 01:05 AM
Chickens don't make the best pillows
They're noisy and weigh several kilos

donroc
07-18-2008, 01:29 AM
Chickens don't make the best pillows
They're noisy and weigh several kilos
They litter their bupkas

Matera the Mad
07-18-2008, 06:04 AM
Chickens don't make the best pillows
They're noisy and weigh several kilos
They litter their bupkas
With feathers, like chupkas

Woof
07-18-2008, 05:02 PM
Chickens don't make the best pillows
They're noisy and weigh several kilos
They litter their bupkas
With feathers, like chupkas
And smell like rank armadillos.



A mouse and a rhino were wed

talkwrite
07-18-2008, 07:26 PM
A mouse and a rhino were wed
He wore a crown upon his head

donroc
07-18-2008, 08:06 PM
A mouse and a rhino were wed
He wore a crown upon his head
And said, "Look I'm horny."

Matera the Mad
07-19-2008, 06:01 AM
A mouse and a rhino were wed
He wore a crown upon his head
And said, "Look I'm horny."
She replied, "Don't be corny!"

Leellana
07-19-2008, 09:42 AM
A mouse and a rhino were wed
He wore a crown upon his head
And said, "Look I'm horny."
She replied, "Don't be corny!"
And off they went to bed.


There once was a frog named Joe

donroc
07-19-2008, 02:59 PM
There once was a frog named Joe
Who fell in love with a doe

Nymtoc
07-19-2008, 04:36 PM
There once was a frog named Joe
Who fell in love with a doe.
He wined her and dined her

donroc
07-19-2008, 05:10 PM
There once was a frog named Joe
Who fell in love with a doe.
He wined her and dined her
On snake and 'gator chowder

Woof
07-19-2008, 05:26 PM
There once was a frog named Joe
Who fell in love with a doe.
He wined her and dined her
On snake and 'gator chowder
Then slipped a ring on her toe.


An atheist praying mantis

Nymtoc
07-19-2008, 09:39 PM
An atheist praying mantis
Said, "This is how they all prayed on Atlantis.

Matera the Mad
07-20-2008, 06:21 AM
An atheist praying mantis
Said, "This is how they all prayed on Atlantis.
And at mating time

Sempine
07-20-2008, 09:15 AM
An atheist praying mantis
Said, "This is how they all prayed on Atlantis.
And at mating time
Upside down he'd rhyme

Sempine
07-20-2008, 09:29 AM
An atheist praying mantis
Said, "This is how they all prayed on Atlantis.
And at mating time
Upside down he'd rhyme
"Hesitate; please, let's wait." Would she grant this?

A celibate dude from Montana

Nymtoc
07-20-2008, 09:44 AM
A celibate dude from Montana
Said, "Sex? I'd prefer a banana.

Woof
07-20-2008, 06:13 PM
A celibate dude from Montana
Said, "Sex? I'd prefer a banana.
The flesh, I'd unpeel

Sempine
07-21-2008, 03:46 AM
A celibate dude from Montana
Said, "Sex? I'd prefer a banana.
The flesh, I'd unpeel
Wouldn't moan, writhe or squeal

Pthom
07-21-2008, 06:45 AM
A celibate dude from Montana
Said, "Sex? I'd prefer a banana.
The flesh, I'd unpeel
Wouldn't moan, writhe or squeal
And then take a trip to Havana.

This limerick attempt is so lame

Matera the Mad
07-21-2008, 07:59 AM
This limerick attempt is so lame
I'd rather it bore not my name

Just.Jase
07-21-2008, 11:30 AM
This limerick attempt is so lame
I'd rather it bore not my name
These words are not mine

Nymtoc
07-21-2008, 03:28 PM
This limerick attempt is so lame
I'd rather it bore not my name
These words are not mine
They send chills down my spine

Woof
07-21-2008, 04:18 PM
This limerick attempt is so lame
I'd rather it bore not my name
These words are not mine
They send chills down my spine
And fill me with dread and with shame.


This limerick attempt is way cool.

Nymtoc
07-21-2008, 05:06 PM
This limerick attempt is way cool.
It proves that I'm nobody's fool.

Woof
07-21-2008, 05:10 PM
This limerick attempt is way cool.
It proves that I'm nobody's fool.
I write with a flair

Sempine
07-21-2008, 06:18 PM
This limerick attempt is way cool.
It proves that I'm nobody's fool.
I write with a flair
Daring any who share

talkwrite
07-21-2008, 07:42 PM
This limerick attempt is way cool.
It proves that I'm nobody's fool.
I write with a flair
Daring any who share
to send me back to writing school.

For those who think writing is easy

Nymtoc
07-21-2008, 09:56 PM
For those who think writing is easy
You'd do better playing parchesi

Woof
07-21-2008, 11:24 PM
For those who think writing is easy
You'd do better playing parchesi
Each word is a challenge

donroc
07-21-2008, 11:29 PM
For those who think writing is easy
You'd do better playing parchesi
Each word is a challenge
Resistant as Stonehenge

Woof
07-21-2008, 11:45 PM
For those who think writing is easy
You'd do better playing parchesi
Each word is a challenge
Resistant as Stonehenge
And some of it downright sleazy.


Give me librium or give me meth

Nymtoc
07-21-2008, 11:48 PM
Give me librium or give me meth
Before I take my final breath

Woof
07-21-2008, 11:52 PM
Give me librium or give me meth
Before I take my final breath
In leaves of grass

donroc
07-22-2008, 12:08 AM
Give me librium or give me meth
Before I take my final breath
In leaves of grass
And arms of fair lass

Nymtoc
07-22-2008, 12:26 AM
Give me librium or give me meth
Before I take my final breath
In leaves of grass
And arms of fair lass
Ah, t'would be easeful death.

:)

There once was a hell of a drummer

Sempine
07-22-2008, 12:31 AM
There once was a hell of a drummer
Who threw down his drumsticks one summer

Just.Jase
07-22-2008, 04:45 AM
There once was a hell of a drummer
Who threw down his drumsticks one summer
He stormed to the store

Matera the Mad
07-22-2008, 04:49 AM
There once was a hell of a drummer
Who threw down his drumsticks one summer
He stormed to the store
To get ten pairs more

Sempine
07-22-2008, 05:27 AM
There once was a hell of a drummer
Who threw down his drumsticks one summer
He stormed to the store
To get ten pairs more
At KFC--what could be dumber?

The Great Wall of China is longer

EmilySC
07-22-2008, 05:35 AM
The Great Wall of China is longer
Than our southern border and stronger

Matera the Mad
07-22-2008, 05:57 AM
The Great Wall of China is longer
Than our southern border and stronger
Than Arnold Schwartzenegger

EmilySC
07-22-2008, 06:27 AM
The Great Wall of China is longer
Than our southern border and stronger
Than Arnold Schwartzenegger
Moonshine in a keg or
That big gorilla King Kong or . . .

========

He said, "Give me five" then he fainted

Matera the Mad
07-22-2008, 06:41 AM
He said, "Give me five" then he fainted
Not half the he-man he was painted

talkwrite
07-22-2008, 06:26 PM
He said, "Give me five" then he fainted
Not half the he-man he was painted
He really did care

EmilySC
07-22-2008, 06:57 PM
He said, "Give me five" then he fainted
Not half the he-man he was painted
He really did care
Hated being thought square

donroc
07-22-2008, 07:52 PM
He said, "Give me five" then he fainted
Not half the he-man he was painted
He really did care
Hated being thought square
But now his reputation is tainted.

A flexable fiddler from Cork

Woof
07-22-2008, 08:56 PM
A flexible fiddler from Cork
Played with a good deal of torque

Nymtoc
07-22-2008, 09:22 PM
A flexible fiddler from Cork
Played with a good deal of torque.
A saw was his bow

Woof
07-22-2008, 09:28 PM
A flexible fiddler from Cork
Played with a good deal of torque.
A saw was his bow
It screeched like a crow

Nymtoc
07-22-2008, 09:35 PM
A flexible fiddler from Cork
Played with a good deal of torque.
A saw was his bow
It screeched like a crow,
But he was heard all the way to New York.

:e2violin:

"How dare you insult me?" said Luke.

Woof
07-22-2008, 09:57 PM
"How dare you insult me?" said Luke.
"So what if on your dress I did puke?"

caustic_coquette
07-22-2008, 10:02 PM
"How dare you insult me?" said Luke.
"So what if on your dress I did puke?"
"It's the nastiest shade of green.."

Pthom
07-22-2008, 11:44 PM
No doubt. But let's try to keep to proper limerick meter. An example of a limerick-ish repair of the current one follows:


"How dare you insult me?" said Luke.
"So what if on you I did puke?
Your bilious green

and I would add:


Dress is really obscene.

But you guys decide, eh?

Woof
07-22-2008, 11:48 PM
"How dare you insult me?" said Luke.
"So what if on your dress I did puke?"
"It's the nastiest shade of green.."
"The odor is rank and obscene"

Nymtoc
07-23-2008, 12:17 AM
[Picking up from Pthom's recommendation about proper limerick meter--from now on, by the way, offenders will be subject to heavy fines.]

How dare you insult me?" said Luke.
"So what if on you I did puke?
Your bilious green
Dress is really obscene,
While my offense was but a fluke.

:tongue

Too many words make a poor rhyme

Pthom
07-23-2008, 12:50 AM
Too many words make a poor rhyme
(From top the bandwagon we chime!)

donroc
07-23-2008, 01:35 AM
Too many words make a poor rhyme
(From top the bandwagon we chime!)
With syllables galore

otterman
07-23-2008, 03:54 AM
Too many words make a poor rhyme
(From top the bandwagon we chime!)
With syllables galore
And a syntax that's poor

EmilySC
07-23-2008, 04:00 AM
Too many words make a poor rhyme
(From top the bandwagon we chime!)
With syllables galore
And a syntax that's poor
We'll be put in jail for our crime

There was a young waitress named Belle

Nymtoc
07-23-2008, 04:06 AM
There was a young waitress named Belle
Who served certain patrons too well

EmilySC
07-23-2008, 04:07 AM
There was a young waitress named Belle
Who served certain patrons too well
Her tips were immense

caustic_coquette
07-23-2008, 04:14 AM
There was a young waitress named Belle
Who served certain patrons too well
Her tips were immense
her smile, intense

Matera the Mad
07-23-2008, 05:56 AM
There was a young waitress named Belle
Who served certain patrons too well
Her tips were immense
her smile, intense
Which caused their mm-mms to swell


A jaded young patron of pubs

EmilySC
07-23-2008, 07:28 PM
A jaded young patron of pubs
Said, "Why go to Subway for subs?"

Woof
07-23-2008, 07:32 PM
A jaded young patron of pubs
Said, "Why go to Subway for subs?"
Just make a sandwich

StephanieFox
07-23-2008, 08:01 PM
A jaded young patron of pubs
Said, "Why go to Subway for subs?"
Just make a sandwich
Of spinach and ham which...

Nymtoc
07-23-2008, 08:57 PM
A jaded young patron of pubs
Said, "Why go to Subway for subs?"
Just make a sandwich
Of spinach and ham which
They serve in Mayberry's best clubs.

:D

"Young man, when you're my age," said Gramp

talkwrite
07-23-2008, 09:00 PM
"Young man, when you're my age," said Gramp
"You know life is one long boot camp"

EmilySC
07-24-2008, 12:29 AM
"Young man, when you're my age," said Gramp
"You know life is one long boot camp"
"Did I volunteer?"

Pthom
07-24-2008, 04:34 AM
"Young man, when you're my age," said Gramp
"You know life is one long boot camp"
"Did I volunteer?"
Said the young buccaneer.

Nymtoc
07-24-2008, 05:43 AM
"Young man, when you're my age," said Gramp
"You know life is one long boot camp"
"Did I volunteer?"
Said the young buccaneer.
"No" said Gramp, "but don't act like a scamp."

:hat:

When Sam Coleridge lacked a good rhyme

Matera the Mad
07-24-2008, 06:30 AM
When Sam Coleridge lacked a good rhyme
He said, "I'm for some down-time."

EmilySC
07-24-2008, 06:45 AM
When Sam Coleridge lacked a good rhyme
He said, "I'm for some down-time."
He'd stare into space

Leellana
07-24-2008, 12:01 PM
When Sam Coleridge lacked a good rhyme
He said, "I'm for some down-time."
He'd stare into space
A blank look on his face

donroc
07-24-2008, 02:13 PM
When Sam Coleridge lacked a good rhyme
He said, "I'm for some down-time."
He'd stare into space
A blank look on his face
And loquacious as a street mime.

A voluptuous vixen from Vichy

Nymtoc
07-24-2008, 02:37 PM
A voluptuous vixen from Vichy
Was derided by some as too chichi

Woof
07-24-2008, 04:55 PM
A voluptuous vixen from Vichy
Was derided by some as too chichi
She put on airs

Nymtoc
07-24-2008, 07:20 PM
A voluptuous vixen from Vichy
Was derided by some as too chichi
She put on airs
And demanded éclairs

Woof
07-24-2008, 11:27 PM
A voluptuous vixen from Vichy
Was derided by some as too chichi
She put on airs
And demanded éclairs
And wore perfume that smelled feeshy.



A man with a penchant for tarts

Pthom
07-24-2008, 11:30 PM
A man with a penchant for tarts
Was known far and wide 'round these parts.

Woof
07-24-2008, 11:49 PM
A man with a penchant for tarts
Was known far and wide 'round these parts.
His tastes were flaky

Nymtoc
07-24-2008, 11:54 PM
A man with a penchant for tarts
Was known far and wide 'round these parts.
His tastes were flaky
But never heart-breaky

Woof
07-25-2008, 12:13 AM
A man with a penchant for tarts
Was known far and wide 'round these parts.
His tastes were flaky
But never heart-breaky
And more generous than all the old farts.



Atop the tower of Pisa

donroc
07-25-2008, 12:14 AM
A man with a penchant for tarts
Was known far and wide 'round these parts.
His tastes were flaky
But never heart-breaky
Except he left them all plenty of warts.

An insolent Ibis from Karnak

Pthom
07-25-2008, 05:08 AM
Seems we have a double-header here. Such fun! Work on one or the other or both.

First 1)
Atop the old tower of Pisa [adjusted for meter]
A lovely Italian named Lisa



then 2)
An insolent Ibis from Karnak
Drove a diesel pickup with a gun rack

Matera the Mad
07-25-2008, 06:26 AM
I'll go with that! :D

First 1)
Atop the old tower of Pisa
A lovely Italian named Lisa
Let down her long hair



then 2)
An insolent Ibis from Karnak
Drove a diesel pickup with a gun rack
He encountered a frog

Leellana
07-25-2008, 11:53 AM
First 1)
Atop the old tower of Pisa
A lovely Italian named Lisa
Let down her long hair
Brushed it with great flair


then 2)
An insolent Ibis from Karnak
Drove a diesel pickup with a gun rack
He encountered a frog
Sitting atop a huge hog

talkwrite
07-25-2008, 06:07 PM
First 1)
Atop the old tower of Pisa
A lovely Italian named Lisa
Let down her long hair
Brushed it with great flair
And changed her name to Condaleeza


then 2)
An insolent Ibis from Karnak
Drove a diesel pickup with a gun rack
He encountered a frog
Sitting atop a huge hog
Like Cheney he gave them both flack


Two Limericks were merged into one

donroc
07-25-2008, 06:44 PM
Two Limericks were merged into one
Who's that other sunuvagun?

StephanieFox
07-25-2008, 07:47 PM
Two Limericks were merged into one
Who's that other sunuvagun?
It's just too much work

donroc
07-25-2008, 07:56 PM
Two Limericks were merged into one
Who's that other sunuvagun?
It's just too much work
I'd rather just lurk

Nymtoc
07-25-2008, 09:59 PM
Two Limericks were merged into one
Who's that other sunuvagun?
It's just too much work
I'd rather just lurk
While others attempt to have fun.

:roll:

Moe lives in a house made of candy

Pthom
07-25-2008, 10:54 PM
Moe lives in a house made of candy
A confectioner, he is quite handy!

Woof
07-26-2008, 12:48 AM
Moe lives in a house made of candy
A confectioner, he is quite handy!
But he has a sweet tooth

Nymtoc
07-26-2008, 12:56 AM
Moe lives in a house made of candy
A confectioner, he is quite handy!
But he has a sweet tooth
And to tell you the truth

Woof
07-26-2008, 01:16 AM
Moe lives in a house made of candy
A confectioner, he is quite handy!
But he has a sweet tooth
And to tell you the truth
Moe is more than a little bit randy.



A woman who lived on cheap gin

Nymtoc
07-26-2008, 02:05 AM
A woman who lived on cheap gin
Swore that gin put a grin on her chin

donroc
07-26-2008, 02:21 AM
A woman who lived on cheap gin
Swore that gin put a grin on her chin
She drank the full bottle

Nymtoc
07-26-2008, 03:08 AM
A woman who lived on cheap gin
Swore that gin put a grin on her chin
She drank the full bottle,
Sang, "Hey, diddle dottle!"

Matera the Mad
07-26-2008, 04:30 AM
A woman who lived on cheap gin
Swore that gin put a grin on her chin
She drank the full bottle,
Sang, "Hey, diddle dottle!"
Staggered out to the pool and fell in


A perfectly mis'rable hermit

donroc
07-26-2008, 05:14 AM
A perfectly mis'rable hermit
Refused to get a cave permit

Nymtoc
07-26-2008, 05:18 AM
A perfectly mis'rable hermit
Refused to get a cave permit,
He scoffed at the law

Matera the Mad
07-26-2008, 05:29 AM
A perfectly mis'rable hermit
Refused to get a cave permit,
He scoffed at the law
'Cause he liked what he saw

donroc
07-26-2008, 05:29 AM
A perfectly mis'rable hermit
Refused to get a cave permit,
He scoffed at the law
Deep inside the maw

Leellana
07-26-2008, 09:46 AM
my line works for both


A perfectly mis'rable hermit
Refused to get a cave permit,
He scoffed at the law
Deep inside the maw
He decided to live here a bit.


Next:
A fair maiden was once in peril

donroc
07-26-2008, 03:03 PM
A fair maiden was once in peril
From a disgusting and amorous squirrel

Woof
07-26-2008, 05:36 PM
A fair maiden was once in peril
From a disgusting and amorous squirrel
He showed her his nuts

Nymtoc
07-26-2008, 10:11 PM
A fair maiden was once in peril
From a disgusting and amorous squirrel
He showed her his nuts
And said, "Babe, I love sluts"

Yeshanu
07-26-2008, 11:45 PM
A fair maiden was once in peril
From a disgusting and amorous squirrel
He showed her his nuts
And said, "Babe, I love sluts.
Come to bed and let's give it a whirl!"



I'm a writer of poetry and prose

Nymtoc
07-27-2008, 12:37 AM
I'm a writer of poetry and prose
But I write best without any clothes

Matera the Mad
07-27-2008, 05:05 AM
I'm a writer of poetry and prose
But I write best without any clothes
In my cool private office

Nymtoc
07-27-2008, 08:28 AM
I'm a writer of poetry and prose
But I write best without any clothes
In my cool private office
I channel Chekhov. His...

Woof
07-27-2008, 09:58 PM
I'm a writer of poetry and prose
But I write best without any clothes
In my cool private office
I channel Chekhov. His...
Dark, brooding style gets right up my nose.


I was talking to Shakespeare last night

Matera the Mad
07-28-2008, 05:41 AM
I was talking to Shakespeare last night
When a sound outside gave me a fright

Sempine
07-28-2008, 06:43 AM
was talking to Shakespeare last night
When a sound outside gave me a fright
"Who goest there?" I called

Matera the Mad
07-28-2008, 07:26 AM
I was talking to Shakespeare last night
When a sound outside gave me a fright
"Who goest there?" I called
Said a ghost, "I'm appalled!"

Leellana
07-28-2008, 11:10 AM
I was talking to Shakespeare last night
When a sound outside gave me a fright
"Who goest there?" I called
Said a ghost, "I'm appalled!"
And floated out of my sight.


I once had boat at the pier

Woof
07-28-2008, 05:23 PM
I once had boat at the pier
It was almost as big as my rear

Nymtoc
07-28-2008, 08:21 PM
I once had boat at the pier
It was almost as big as my rear
I mean, like, gigantic

Woof
07-28-2008, 08:58 PM
I once had boat at the pier
It was almost as big as my rear
I mean, like, gigantic
Leaking and antique

Nymtoc
07-28-2008, 09:40 PM
I once had boat at the pier
It was almost as big as my rear
I mean, like, gigantic
Leaking and antique
But amply provided with beer.

:e2stooges

One day in the life of a frog

Pthom
07-28-2008, 09:41 PM
I once had boat at the pier
It was almost as big as my rear
I mean, like, gigantic
Leaking and antique:
A Weight Watchers® membership's near!

With pancakes and bacon and eggs
_______________________

One day in the life of a frog
All smelly and wet in a bog

donroc
07-28-2008, 10:00 PM
One day in the life of a frog
All smelly and wet in a bog
He asked a fair princess

Woof
07-28-2008, 10:07 PM
One day in the life of a frog
All smelly and wet in a bog
He asked a fair princess
If she had any mint sauce

donroc
07-28-2008, 10:32 PM
One day in the life of a frog
All smelly and wet in a bog
He asked a fair princess
If she had any mint sauce
She did and shared his legs with a hog.

A Viking appeared in the fens