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Woof
06-04-2008, 11:22 PM
A woman turned into a flea
And feasted on Griffith's Aunt Bea
The flea then ate Opie

Nymtoc
06-04-2008, 11:42 PM
A woman turned into a flea
And feasted on Griffith's Aunt Bea
The flea then ate Opie,
And Andy got mopy

MsK
06-04-2008, 11:43 PM
A woman turned into a flea
And feasted on Griffith's Aunt Bea
The flea then ate Opie,
And Andy got mopy
And Barney said, "What about me?"

A woman danced in the rain

talkwrite
06-05-2008, 12:30 AM
A woman danced in the rain
And freed each thought in her brain

Woof
06-05-2008, 12:37 AM
A woman danced in the rain
And freed each thought in her brain
But her mind was all wet

Nymtoc
06-05-2008, 12:42 AM
A woman danced in the rain
And freed each thought in her brain
But her mind was all wet,
She became a coquette

Woof
06-05-2008, 12:44 AM
A woman danced in the rain
And freed each thought in her brain
But her mind was all wet,
She became a coquette
And turned to hooking in Spain.



A man who was wealthy as sin

Tink
06-05-2008, 01:28 AM
A man who was wealthy as sin
Did do wrong to all of his kin
He broke all the rules of humanity

oneblindmouse
06-05-2008, 01:29 AM
A man who was wealthy as sin
Got plastered on tonic and gin

otterman
06-05-2008, 03:48 AM
A man who was wealthy as sin
Got plastered on tonic and gin
He staggered toward home

Woof
06-05-2008, 06:58 AM
A man who was wealthy as sin
Got plastered on tonic and gin
He staggered toward home
His mouth covered in foam

Matera the Mad
06-05-2008, 07:09 AM
A man who was wealthy as sin
Got plastered on tonic and gin
He staggered toward home
His mouth covered in foam
And fell in his own rubbish-bin.


Just when Nerdly's work day had ended

StephanieFox
06-05-2008, 11:17 AM
Just when Nerdly's work day had ended
And all that was right was defended,

oneblindmouse
06-05-2008, 11:35 AM
Just when Nerdly's work day had ended
And all that was right was defended,
The boss came along

Sir_Nigel
06-05-2008, 02:19 PM
Just when Nerdly's work day had ended
And all that was right was defended,
The boss came along
in a leopard-print thong

Woof
06-05-2008, 05:33 PM
Just when Nerdly's work day had ended
And all that was right was defended,
The boss came along
in a leopard-print thong
Which was torn and left unmended.


The boss who pranced without shame

oneblindmouse
06-05-2008, 06:42 PM
The boss who pranced without shame
Said all that he wanted was fame

talkwrite
06-05-2008, 11:23 PM
The boss who pranced without shame
Said all that he wanted was fame
Not a promotion

Woof
06-05-2008, 11:27 PM
The boss who pranced without shame
Said all that he wanted was fame
Not a promotion
Or calamine lotion

StephanieFox
06-06-2008, 01:28 AM
The boss who pranced without shame
Said all that he wanted was fame
Not a promotion
Or calamine lotion
He's unheard of, and ain't that a shame.



In the valley a big storm was raging

Matera the Mad
06-06-2008, 05:59 AM
In the valley a big storm was raging
About whose smile was most engaging.

oneblindmouse
06-06-2008, 12:06 PM
In the valley a big storm was raging
About whose smile was most engaging.
My ear to ear grin

donroc
06-06-2008, 03:16 PM
In the valley a big storm was raging
About whose smile was most engaging.
My ear to ear grin
Snapped my facelift pin

oneblindmouse
06-06-2008, 03:31 PM
In the valley a big storm was raging
About whose smile was most engaging.
My ear to ear grin
Snapped my facelift pin
And added ten years to my aging.

A nasty old man with a grievance

talkwrite
06-06-2008, 06:37 PM
A nasty old man with a grievance
Known for his raves and his loud rants

Matera the Mad
06-07-2008, 03:48 AM
A nasty old man with a grievance
Known for his raves and his loud rants
At last found his match

Woof
06-08-2008, 06:54 PM
A nasty old man with a grievance
Known for his raves and his loud rants
At last found his match
She liked to moan and scratch

donroc
06-08-2008, 08:13 PM
A nasty old man with a grievance
Known for his raves and his loud rants
At last found his match
She liked to moan and scratch
Thus becoming more than a casual dalliance.

A capo named Shells Leonardi

Woof
06-08-2008, 08:21 PM
A capo named Shells Leonardi
Was hosting a Sicilian style party

Nymtoc
06-08-2008, 08:43 PM
A capo named Shells Leonardi
Was hosting a Sicilian style party.
He served caponata

oneblindmouse
06-08-2008, 09:56 PM
A capo named Shells Leonardi
Was hosting a Sicilian style party.
He served caponata
And sang La Traviata

HeronW
06-09-2008, 01:49 AM
A capo named Shells Leonardi
Was hosting a Sicilian style party.
He served caponata
And sang La Traviata
And bathed in gallons of Bacardi.

A talented young maiden called Maeve

StephanieFox
06-09-2008, 06:21 AM
A talented young maiden called Maeve
Spent an Irish Shavout with Dave

Matera the Mad
06-09-2008, 06:55 AM
A talented young maiden called Maeve
Spent an Irish Shavuot with Dave.
He corrected her spelling

talkwrite
06-09-2008, 06:51 PM
A talented young maiden called Maeve
Spent an Irish Shavuot with Dave.
He corrected her spelling
As her eyes were welling

Matera the Mad
06-10-2008, 06:59 AM
A talented young maiden called Maeve
Spent an Irish Shavuot with Dave.
He corrected her spelling
As her eyes were welling
And lost the job as her love-slave. :(

If one million monkeys typed all day

chevbrock
06-10-2008, 08:37 AM
If one million monkeys typed all day
How many peanuts would you pay?

Woof
06-10-2008, 05:04 PM
If one million monkeys typed all day
How many peanuts would you pay?
One nut per ape

talkwrite
06-10-2008, 05:35 PM
If one million monkeys typed all day
How many peanuts would you pay?
One nut per ape
Two for their mate

Woof
06-10-2008, 05:41 PM
If one million monkeys typed all day
How many peanuts would you pay?
One nut per ape
Two for their mate
And three for their friends who are gay.


A dog who barked up the wrong tree

talkwrite
06-10-2008, 05:55 PM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
was photographed, making history

MsK
06-10-2008, 07:19 PM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
was photographed, making history
He became famous overnight

HeronW
06-10-2008, 08:02 PM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
was photographed, making history
He became famous overnight
for his bark, not his bite

Autodidact
06-10-2008, 08:22 PM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
was photographed, making history
He became famous overnight
for his bark, not his bite
The dog's bark or that of the tree?


A rising Republican politician

donroc
06-10-2008, 08:26 PM
A rising Republican politician
Was caught in the midst of coition

Nymtoc
06-10-2008, 08:44 PM
A rising Republican politician
Was caught in the midst of coition
In a DC hotel

talkwrite
06-11-2008, 01:57 AM
A rising Republican politician
Was caught in the midst of coition
In a DC hotel
Covered in just Rotel

Woof
06-11-2008, 04:37 AM
A rising Republican politician
Was caught in the midst of coition
In a DC hotel
Covered in just Rotel
In a compromising position.


A woman who smashed a glass ceiling

EmilySC
06-11-2008, 05:32 AM
A woman whos smashed a glass ceiling
Claimed houses of glass are appealing

PattiTheWicked
06-11-2008, 06:07 AM
A woman whos smashed a glass ceiling
Claimed houses of glass are appealing
Except when you're nude,

Sempine
06-11-2008, 06:15 AM
A woman who smashed a glass ceiling
Claimed houses of glass are appealing
Except when you're nude,
Engaged to a prude

Matera the Mad
06-11-2008, 06:52 AM
A woman who smashed a glass ceiling
Claimed houses of glass are appealing
Except when you're nude,
Engaged to a prude,
And all of the neighbors are squealing!


On the last day before he got sacked

Woof
06-11-2008, 04:27 PM
On the last day before he got sacked
An employee was tortured and racked

StephanieFox
06-12-2008, 01:24 AM
On the last day before he got sacked
An employee was tortured and racked
By various bosses

Nymtoc
06-12-2008, 02:53 AM
On the last day before he got sacked
An employee was tortured and racked
By various bosses
On donkeys and hosses

Woof
06-12-2008, 03:59 AM
On the last day before he got sacked
An employee was tortured and racked
By various bosses
On donkeys and hosses
All of them sadistic and cracked.

A duck who lost all his feathers

MsK
06-12-2008, 05:44 AM
A duck who lost all his feathers
And a cow who knew about leathers

Sempine
06-12-2008, 05:47 AM
A duck who lost all his feathers
And a cow who knew about leathers
Were sold at the fair

Matera the Mad
06-12-2008, 05:50 AM
A duck who lost all his feathers
And a cow who knew about leathers
Were sold at the fair.
Though they went as a pair

Sempine
06-12-2008, 06:05 AM
A duck who lost all his feathers
And a cow who knew about leathers
Were sold at the fair.
Though they went as a pair
By two lady farmers--both Heathers

============
A lemon, a dog, and a villain

EmilySC
06-12-2008, 06:24 AM
A lemon, a dog, and a villain
Were seen by a witch who was willin'
To make lemonade

Sir_Nigel
06-12-2008, 11:08 AM
A lemon, a dog, and a villain
Were seen by a witch who was willin'
To make lemonade
but the brew that they made

Autodidact
06-12-2008, 07:34 PM
A lemon, a dog, and a villain
Were seen by a witch who was willin'
To make lemonade
but the brew that they made
was really not worthy of swillin'.


Who will win the upcoming election?

Woof
06-12-2008, 07:55 PM
Who will win the upcoming election?
It's not a difficult selection

talkwrite
06-12-2008, 08:17 PM
Who will win the upcoming election?
It's not a difficult selection
An old plan man, or

Nymtoc
06-12-2008, 08:24 PM
Who will win the upcoming election?
It's not a difficult selection
An old plan man, or
"Yes We Can!"

Autodidact
06-12-2008, 08:25 PM
Who will win the upcoming election?
It's not a difficult selection
An old plan man, or
"Yes We Can!" man
who will lead us in the right direction.


This morning while reading the news

Woof
06-12-2008, 08:27 PM
Who will win the upcoming election?
It's not a difficult selection
An old plan man, or
"Yes We Can!"
The same old crap or a new direction.


There was a hawk who became a dove

talkwrite
06-12-2008, 08:28 PM
This morning while reading the news
I found nothing that I could use

Woof
06-12-2008, 08:52 PM
This morning while reading the news
I found nothing that I could use
All war and misery

talkwrite
06-12-2008, 10:02 PM
This morning while reading the news
I found nothing that I could use
All war and misery
Lies, bigotry and greed

Woof
06-12-2008, 11:36 PM
This morning while reading the news
I found nothing that I could use
All war and misery
Lies, bigotry and greed

Umm...in order to rhyme did you intend the order of that last line to be:

Lies, greed and bigotry ?

K1P1
06-13-2008, 03:17 AM
This morning while reading the news
I found nothing that I could use
All war and misery
Lies,greed and bigotry
So I went back to bed for a snooze.

While waltzing I stepped on his toe

Nymtoc
06-13-2008, 03:43 AM
While waltzing I stepped on his toe,
He said, "Dear, that's not comme il faut,"

Matera the Mad
06-13-2008, 06:13 AM
While waltzing I stepped on his toe,
He said, "Dear, that's not comme il faut."
In rage, I replied,

Autodidact
06-13-2008, 11:05 AM
While waltzing I stepped on his toe,
He said, "Dear, that's not comme il faut."
In rage, I replied,
"Well then step aside,

Sir_Nigel
06-13-2008, 12:50 PM
While waltzing I stepped on his toe,
He said, "Dear, that's not comme il faut."
In rage, I replied,
"Well then step aside,
for your waltzing is clumsy and slow”


‘Don’t fondle the servants’ she said

qwerty
06-13-2008, 02:07 PM
‘Don’t fondle the servants’ she said
They could end up in your bed

K1P1
06-13-2008, 04:14 PM
‘Don’t fondle the servants’ she said
They could end up in your bed
If you need to cuddle

Woof
06-13-2008, 04:26 PM
‘Don’t fondle the servants’ she said
They could end up in your bed
If you need to cuddle
Don't leave a puddle

Sir_Nigel
06-13-2008, 06:17 PM
‘Don’t fondle the servants’ she said
They could end up in your bed
If you need to cuddle
Don't leave a puddle
Or I’ll whack you and leave you for dead


A bright and ambitious Walloon

donroc
06-13-2008, 06:32 PM
A bright and ambitious Walloon
Was to phlegmish to play the bassoon (great pun, no?)

Woof
06-13-2008, 06:43 PM
A bright and ambitious Walloon
Was to phlegmish to play the bassoon (great pun, no?)
A frog in his throat

StephanieFox
06-13-2008, 08:00 PM
A bright and ambitious Walloon
Was to phlegmish to play the bassoon (great pun, no?)
A frog in his throat
As he spützens each note

talkwrite
06-13-2008, 08:55 PM
A bright and ambitious Walloon
Was to phlegmish to play the bassoon (great pun, no?)
A frog in his throat
As he spützens each note
Moved him to switch to play the spoons

Once, a gay man from New Orleans

qwerty
06-13-2008, 10:55 PM
Once, a gay man from New Orleans
Put a terrible strain on the zip of his jeans

Autodidact
06-13-2008, 11:09 PM
Once, a gay man from New Orleans
Put a terrible strain on the zip of his jeans.
It attracted attention

Woof
06-14-2008, 12:05 AM
Once, a gay man from New Orleans
Put a terrible strain on the zip of his jeans.
It attracted attention
At a Baptist convention

Matera the Mad
06-14-2008, 05:36 AM
Once, a gay man from New Orleans
Put a terrible strain on the zip of his jeans.
It attracted attention
At a Baptist convention
Where ten ministers choked on their beans


A brat with a water balloon

StephanieFox
06-14-2008, 07:45 AM
A brat with a water balloon
Took aim not a moment too soon

Matera the Mad
06-14-2008, 09:54 AM
A brat with a water balloon
Took aim not a moment too soon
Ten stories below

Autodidact
06-15-2008, 03:14 AM
A brat with a water balloon
Took aim not a moment too soon
Ten stories below
strolled a girl and her beau

Sempine
06-16-2008, 06:59 AM
A brat with a water balloon
Took aim not a moment too soon
Ten stories below
strolled a girl and her beau
And a watered down vampire raccoon


===============

Chimpanzees don't frequent this park

Matera the Mad
06-16-2008, 07:30 AM
Chimpanzees don't frequent this park,
Because it's patrolled after dark

Sir_Nigel
06-16-2008, 05:24 PM
Chimpanzees don't frequent this park,
Because it's patrolled after dark
And those Monkey Squad Boys

Woof
06-16-2008, 06:15 PM
Chimpanzees don't frequent this park,
Because it's patrolled after dark
And those Monkey Squad Boys
Will confiscate toys

EmilySC
06-16-2008, 07:34 PM
Chimpanzees don't frequent this park,
Because it's patrolled after dark
And those Monkey Squad Boys
Will confiscate toys
Like the two Noah threw from the ark

============

A shyster escaped from a ship

Woof
06-16-2008, 07:53 PM
A shyster escaped from a ship
With a seriously injured hip

talkwrite
06-16-2008, 09:11 PM
A shyster escaped from a ship
With a seriously injured hip
He dove in high seas

Sempine
06-17-2008, 03:36 AM
A shyster escaped from a ship
With a seriously injured hip
He dove in high seas
Fed a dolphin some cheese

MsK
06-17-2008, 04:45 AM
A shyster escaped from a ship
With a seriously injured hip
He dove in high seas
Fed a dolphin some cheese
And kissed a man eating shark on the lip

A woman with too many shoes

StephanieFox
06-17-2008, 05:18 AM
A woman with too many shoes
Her dilemma was, which pair to choose

Sempine
06-17-2008, 06:32 AM
A woman with too many shoes
Her dilemma was, which pair to choose
So few she had worn

Matera the Mad
06-17-2008, 10:01 AM
A woman with too many shoes
Her dilemma was, which pair to choose
So few she had worn
That a problem was born --

Sir_Nigel
06-17-2008, 11:18 AM
A woman with too many shoes
Her dilemma was, which pair to choose
So few she had worn
That a problem was born --
The ‘I’ve Bought Too Many Shoes’ Blues

Two dandies, a fop and a rake

Pthom
06-17-2008, 11:28 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
Attempted to hide in a cake.

Matera the Mad
06-17-2008, 11:42 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
Attempted to hide in a cake.
The frosting was sweet

John Paton
06-17-2008, 11:46 AM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
Attempted to hide in a cake.
The frosting was sweet
All round a fab treat

donroc
06-17-2008, 03:17 PM
Two dandies, a fop and a rake
Attempted to hide in a cake.
The frosting was sweet
All round a fab treat
And the bawd inside they did make.

King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"

Woof
06-17-2008, 03:55 PM
King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"
Screamed the maid, "Putting on her brassiere!"

Matera the Mad
06-18-2008, 05:37 AM
King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"
Screamed the maid, "Putting on her brassiere!"
In came Sir Lancelot

Sempine
06-18-2008, 06:22 AM
King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"
Screamed the maid, "Putting on her brassiere!"
In came Sir Lancelot
He thinks, "My pant's they'll spot"

EmilySC
06-18-2008, 07:01 AM
King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"
Screamed the maid, "Putting on her brassiere!"
In came Sir Lancelot
He thinks, "My pant's they'll spot"
So he yells "Is Galahad still here?"

A rendevous planned by a farmer

Matera the Mad
06-18-2008, 09:02 AM
A rendevous planned by a farmer
Turned into a dreadful alarmer

Autodidact
06-18-2008, 08:23 PM
King Arthur cried out, "Where is Guinevere?"
Screamed the maid, "Putting on her brassiere!"
In came Sir Lancelot
and said, "No, she's not

Nymtoc
06-18-2008, 08:28 PM
A rendevous planned by a farmer
Turned into a dreadful alarmer
His pig and his mule

talkwrite
06-18-2008, 11:07 PM
A rendezvous planned by a farmer
Turned into a dreadful alarmer
His pig and his mule
both dressed in pink tulle

EmilySC
06-19-2008, 12:52 AM
A rendezvous planned by a farmer
Turned into a dreadful alarmer
His pig and his mule
both dressed in pink tulle--
Looks a lot like hot pink only warmer.

===============

Two doctors who loved the same nurse

John Paton
06-19-2008, 01:36 AM
Two doctors who loved the same nurse
Had words that were both short and both terse

Pthom
06-19-2008, 03:33 AM
Two doctors who loved the same nurse
Had words that were both short and terse [adjusting for meter]
But she knew the score

donroc
06-19-2008, 03:46 AM
Two doctors who loved the same nurse
Had words that were both short and terse [adjusting for meter]
But she knew the score
And chose to ignore

MsK
06-19-2008, 04:02 AM
Two doctors who loved the same nurse
Had words that were both short and terse [adjusting for meter]
But she knew the score
And chose to ignore
Their words which sounded adverse

A limerick locked in mid-limerick

Sempine
06-19-2008, 06:27 AM
A limerick locked in mid-limerick
Keeps Tracy at bay like a dimmer Dick

Matera the Mad
06-19-2008, 08:57 AM
A limerick locked in mid-limerick
Keeps Tracy at bay like a dimmer Dick.
But our Autodidact

Sir_Nigel
06-19-2008, 12:57 PM
A limerick locked in mid-limerick
Keeps Tracy at bay like a dimmer Dick.
But our Autodidact
was a little bit cracked

chevbrock
06-19-2008, 02:05 PM
A limerick locked in mid-limerick
Keeps Tracy at bay like a dimmer Dick.
But our Autodidact
was a little bit cracked
And it spun until it made them feel sick!

A little old lady from York...

Sir_Nigel
06-19-2008, 02:17 PM
A little old lady from York
found a grey pubic hair on her fork

talkwrite
06-19-2008, 08:49 PM
A little old lady from York
found a grey pubic hair on her fork
She dropped it and screamed

MsK
06-20-2008, 12:33 AM
A little old lady from York
found a grey pubic hair on her fork
She dropped it and screamed
as her elderly waiter beamed

Matera the Mad
06-20-2008, 09:49 AM
A little old lady from York
found a grey pubic hair on her fork
She dropped it and screamed
as her elderly waiter beamed
And said, "It don't scan, but it works."


A shy hippopotamus from Khartoum

Sir_Nigel
06-20-2008, 11:30 AM
A shy hippopotamus from Khartoum
undressed in the dark in my room

Matera the Mad
06-20-2008, 11:54 AM
A shy hippopotamus from Khartoum
undressed in the dark in my room.
Her hips were so wide

Sir_Nigel
06-20-2008, 01:10 PM
A shy hippopotamus from Khartoum
undressed in the dark in my room.
Her hips were so wide
That I needed a guide

FabulaScribe
06-20-2008, 05:18 PM
A shy hippopotamus from Khartoum
undressed in the dark in my room.
Her hips were so wide
That I needed a guide
But her lips were like flowers in bloom

-------

A writer was new to a forum

Sir_Nigel
06-20-2008, 05:32 PM
A writer was new to a forum
and desperate not to bore 'em

donroc
06-20-2008, 05:35 PM
A writer was new to a forum
and desperate not to bore 'em
with vivid sexual scenes

Woof
06-20-2008, 06:01 PM
A writer was new to a forum
and desperate not to bore 'em
with vivid sexual scenes
and lots of vented spleens

Autodidact
06-20-2008, 10:06 PM
A writer was new to a forum
and desperate not to bore 'em
with vivid sexual scenes
and lots of vented spleens
cuz all the good writers deplore'em.


There once was a writer with block

donroc
06-20-2008, 10:10 PM
There once was a writer with block
Who considered using his Glock

Woof
06-20-2008, 11:24 PM
There once was a writer with block
Who considered using his Glock
But instead used his pen

Pthom
06-21-2008, 01:43 AM
There once was a writer with block
Who considered using his Glock
But instead used his pen,
Wrote a sonnet and then

Matera the Mad
06-21-2008, 06:12 AM
There once was a writer with block
Who considered using his Glock
But instead used his pen,
Wrote a sonnet and then
Realized it was thirteen o'clock! :eek:


A merry young lass on a bicycle

donroc
06-21-2008, 06:14 AM
A merry young lass on a bicycle
Had an accident while sucking a popsicle

Sempine
06-21-2008, 07:05 AM
merry young lass on a bicycle
Had an accident while sucking a popsicle
Are you hurt asked a friend

FabulaScribe
06-21-2008, 06:26 PM
merry young lass on a bicycle
Had an accident while sucking a popsicle
Are you hurt asked a friend
After she tumbled end-to-end

Matera the Mad
06-22-2008, 04:58 AM
A merry young lass on a bicycle
Had an accident while sucking a popsicle
Are you hurt asked a friend
After she tumbled end-to-end
"No," she replied, "but the stick tickles."


If your limerick refuses to scan at all

StephanieFox
06-23-2008, 05:56 AM
If your limerick refuses to scan at all
And it doesn't quite rhyme either,

Matera the Mad
06-23-2008, 06:58 AM
If your limerick refuses to scan at all
And it doesn't quite rhyme either,
You might be a poet

primewriter
06-23-2008, 07:48 AM
If your limerick refuses to scan at all
And it doesn't quite rhyme either,
You might be a poet
Though Meter and Rhyme Might not Show It

Matera the Mad
06-23-2008, 08:00 AM
If your limerick refuses to scan at all
And it doesn't quite rhyme either,
You might be a poet
Though Meter and Rhyme Might not Show It,
And your agent and publisher never call neither.


Whatever became of those writers

(I had to put it out of our misery)

Sir_Nigel
06-23-2008, 11:37 AM
Whatever became of those writers
Who binged on wild all-nighters?

oneblindmouse
06-23-2008, 12:29 PM
Whatever became of those writers
Who binged on wild all-nighters?
Well, they post on this forum

Sir_Nigel
06-23-2008, 01:14 PM
Whatever became of those writers
Who binged on wild all-nighters?
Well, they post on this forum
So please don’t ignore ‘em

Woof
06-23-2008, 05:00 PM
Whatever became of those writers
Who binged on wild all-nighters?
Well, they post on this forum
So please don’t ignore ‘em
As they're mean nasty horrible biters.



To touch her lips was the kiss of death

donroc
06-23-2008, 05:33 PM
To touch her lips was the kiss of death
Unless you avoided her sulphuric breath

talkwrite
06-23-2008, 06:22 PM
To touch her lips was the kiss of death
Unless you avoided her sulphuric breath
If her allure traps you

Autodidact
06-23-2008, 10:14 PM
To touch her lips was the kiss of death
Unless you avoided her sulphuric breath
If her allure traps you
when her finger taps you,

donroc
06-23-2008, 10:24 PM
To touch her lips was the kiss of death
Unless you avoided her sulphuric breath
If her allure traps you
when her finger taps you,
It's worse than any trip you've taken on meth.

When Bart Simpson faced Doyle Brunson in Texas hold'em

primewriter
06-24-2008, 04:40 AM
When Bart Simpson faced Doyle Brunson in Texas hold'em
The tension was so hot it was molten

Sempine
06-24-2008, 06:21 AM
When Bart Simpson faced Doyle Brunson in Texas hold'em
The tension was so hot it was molten
Bart needed one card

Matera the Mad
06-24-2008, 06:55 AM
When Bart Simpson faced Doyle Brunson in Texas hold'em
The tension was so hot it was molten
Bart needed one card
But Luck's heart was hard

talkwrite
06-24-2008, 07:45 PM
When Bart Simpson faced Doyle Brunson in Texas hold'em
The tension was so hot it was molten
Bart needed one card
But Luck's heart was hard
So he smiled with rotting teeth and forced bart to fold'em.

Woof went on America's Top Dog

Sempine
06-24-2008, 08:25 PM
Woof went on America's Top Dog
His mind keen and clear as the fog

Woof
06-24-2008, 11:26 PM
Woof went on America's Top Dog
His mind keen and clear as the fog
He snarled on cue

oneblindmouse
06-24-2008, 11:44 PM
Woof went on America's Top Dog
His mind keen and clear as the fog
He snarled on cue
Then made a large poo

Matera the Mad
06-25-2008, 08:27 AM
Woof went on America's Top Dog
His mind keen and clear as the fog
He snarled on cue
Then made a large poo
And alleycat said, "What a hog!"


Hickory, dickory, oneblindmouse

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2008, 11:47 AM
Hickory, dickory, oneblindmouse
There’s a repossession order onmyhouse.

oneblindmouse
06-25-2008, 12:49 PM
Hickory, dickory, oneblindmouse
There’s a repossession order onmyhouse.
I'm flat broke and clueless

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2008, 02:13 PM
Hickory, dickory, oneblindmouse
There’s a repossession order onmyhouse.
I'm flat broke and clueless
And starving and shoeless

EmilySC
06-25-2008, 04:15 PM
Hickory, dickory, oneblindmouse
There’s a repossession order onmyhouse.
I'm flat broke and clueless
And starving and shoeless
Oh wait, there's ten bucks inmyblouse

A vivid and terrible scene

Sir_Nigel
06-25-2008, 05:26 PM
A vivid and terrible scene
confronted the haggard old queen

oneblindmouse
06-25-2008, 05:29 PM
A vivid and terrible scene
confronted the haggard old queen:
the corgis lay dead

HeronW
06-25-2008, 06:15 PM
A vivid and terrible scene
confronted the haggard old queen:
the corgis lay dead
next to the king's head

donroc
06-25-2008, 06:37 PM
A vivid and terrible scene
confronted the haggard old queen:
the corgis lay dead
next to the king's head
And she screamed louder than Howard Dean.

A Senator known for his earmarks

Woof
06-25-2008, 06:49 PM
A Senator known for his earmarks
Was linked to unsavory loan sharks

talkwrite
06-25-2008, 07:46 PM
A Senator known for his earmarks
Was linked to unsavory loan sharks
His own coffers full

Autodidact
06-25-2008, 10:03 PM
A Senator known for his earmarks
Was linked to unsavory loan sharks
His own coffers full
he was known for his bull,

donroc
06-25-2008, 10:54 PM
A Senator known for his earmarks
Was linked to unsavory loan sharks
His own coffers full
he was known for his bull,
"Til he was busted by a team 0f DEA narcs.

Obama said, I will bring change."

Sempine
06-25-2008, 11:27 PM
Obama said, I will bring change."
From hopefuls that phrase isn't strange

talkwrite
06-26-2008, 01:00 AM
Obama said, I will bring change."
From hopefuls that phrase isn't strange
But changing takes guts

donroc
06-26-2008, 01:32 AM
Obama said, I will bring change."
From hopefuls that phrase isn't strange
But changing takes guts
No ifs, ands, or buts

Autodidact
06-26-2008, 02:25 AM
Obama said, I will bring change."
From hopefuls that phrase isn't strange
But changing takes guts
No ifs, ands, or buts,
so maybe he'll just rearrange.


We can't wait until the election

Sempine
06-26-2008, 02:45 AM
We can't wait until the election
There's too much misdirection

Matera the Mad
06-26-2008, 04:38 AM
We can't wait until the election
There's too much misdirection.
The candidates all

Zonk
06-26-2008, 04:40 PM
We can't wait until the election
There's too much misdirection.
The candidates all
with astonishing gall



:D:D:D

Nymtoc
06-26-2008, 04:47 PM
We can't wait until the election
There's too much misdirection.
The candidates all
with astonishing gall
Lay claim to unbounded perfection.

:cool:

There once was a duck known as Daffy

talkwrite
06-26-2008, 06:31 PM
There once was a duck known as Daffy
Who had a fondness for pink taffy

donroc
06-26-2008, 06:35 PM
There once was a duck known as Daffy
Who had a fondness for pink taffy
And said Bugs is "despicable"

Sempine
06-26-2008, 07:35 PM
There once was a duck known as Daffy
Who had a fondness for pink taffy
And said Bugs is "despicable"
But Pluto is lickable
If I had a whole tongue or a halfie.

I dreamed of a storm out at sea

Nymtoc
06-26-2008, 10:03 PM
I dreamed of a storm out at sea
With huge waves from windward and lee

donroc
06-26-2008, 10:20 PM
I dreamed of a storm out at sea
With huge waves from windward and lee
"Hang ten!" I said

talkwrite
06-27-2008, 01:24 AM
I dreamed of a storm out at sea
With huge waves from windward and lee
"Hang ten!" I said
to ghosts of sailors dead

donroc
06-27-2008, 02:29 AM
I dreamed of a storm out at sea
With huge waves from windward and lee
"Hang ten!" I said
to ghosts of sailors dead
And with Johnny Depp had some orange tea.

A piddling pooch from Peoria

HeronW
06-27-2008, 03:21 AM
A piddling pooch from Peoria
was last seen on the Andrea Doria

Woof
06-27-2008, 03:37 AM
A piddling pooch from Peoria
was last seen on the Andrea Doria
He squatted on the poop deck

Matera the Mad
06-27-2008, 07:25 AM
A piddling pooch from Peoria
was last seen on the Andrea Doria
He squatted on the poop deck
And a dolphin said "Oh heck!"

Sir_Nigel
06-27-2008, 11:27 AM
A piddling pooch from Peoria
was last seen on the Andrea Doria
He squatted on the poop deck
And a dolphin said "Oh heck!
Don’t piddle or poop I implore o’ ye.”

Sir_Nigel
06-27-2008, 11:29 AM
‘Don’t fondle those fondants’ she said

talkwrite
06-27-2008, 08:10 PM
Don’t fondle those fondants’ she said,
"or I'll pop you once on yer head "

Woof
06-27-2008, 09:17 PM
Don’t fondle those fondants’ she said,
"or I'll pop you once on yer head "
"then I'll gouge out yer eyes

donroc
06-27-2008, 10:12 PM
Don’t fondle those fondants’ she said,
"or I'll pop you once on yer head "
"then I'll gouge out yer eyes
And cut that thing between yer thighs

talkwrite
06-28-2008, 12:56 AM
Don’t fondle those fondants’ she said,
"or I'll pop you once on yer head "
"then I'll gouge out yer eyes
And cut that thing between yer thighs
Aye! I'll make you wish you were dead.

The High Court said yes to bear arms.

Pthom
06-28-2008, 02:46 AM
The High Court said yes to bear arms.
But said nothing about saving farms.

Nymtoc
06-28-2008, 02:52 AM
The High Court said yes to bear arms.
But said nothing about saving farms
Or keeping jobs here

Matera the Mad
06-28-2008, 05:19 AM
The High Court said yes to bear arms.
But said nothing about saving farms
Or keeping jobs here
And pot versus beer

EmilySC
06-28-2008, 06:34 AM
he High Court said yes to bear arms.
But said nothing about saving farms
Or keeping jobs here
And pot versus beer
Or Lafayette yelling, "Gendarmes!"

A crabby old crook cried "Police"

Matera the Mad
06-28-2008, 06:44 AM
drat

Sir_Nigel
06-30-2008, 05:07 PM
A crabby old crook cried "Police
- you are ill-bred, corrupt and obese!"

talkwrite
06-30-2008, 09:25 PM
A crabby old crook cried "Police
- you are ill-bred, corrupt and obese!"
But when his home was robbed

Nymtoc
07-01-2008, 02:22 AM
A crabby old crook cried "Police
- you are ill-bred, corrupt and obese!"
But when his home was robbed
He broke down and sobbed

otterman
07-01-2008, 03:09 AM
A crabby old crook cried "Police
- you are ill-bred, corrupt and obese!"
But when his home was robbed
He broke down and sobbed,
"When will dishonesty cease?"


A manuscript sat on a shelf,

donroc
07-01-2008, 03:56 AM
A manuscript sat on a shelf,
written by an anti Ghibelline Guelf

Nymtoc
07-01-2008, 04:37 AM
A manuscript sat on a shelf,
written by an anti Ghibelline Guelf,
It favored the Pope

donroc
07-01-2008, 04:43 AM
A manuscript sat on a shelf,
written by an anti Ghibelline Guelf,
It favored the Pope
But the HRE said nope

Nymtoc
07-01-2008, 07:21 AM
A manuscript sat on a shelf,
written by an anti Ghibelline Guelf,
It favored the Pope
But the HRE said nope
So the Guelf flagellated himself.

:D

Alone on an uncharted isle

Matera the Mad
07-01-2008, 07:35 AM
Alone on an uncharted isle
A fellow was tempted to smile

Sir_Nigel
07-01-2008, 04:40 PM
Alone on an uncharted isle
A fellow was tempted to smile
‘I may be quite loco but…’

talkwrite
07-01-2008, 06:06 PM
Alone on an uncharted isle
A fellow was tempted to smile
‘I may be quite loco but…’
There's a face on that Coconut'

Pthom
07-01-2008, 09:08 PM
Alone on an uncharted isle
A fellow was tempted to smile
‘I may be quite loco but…’
There's a face on that Coconut
Which looks just like old uncle Lyle!'

When sorting through files of old papers

donroc
07-01-2008, 09:24 PM
When sorting through files of old papers
Aunt Pittypat swooned from the vapors

talkwrite
07-02-2008, 12:50 AM
When sorting through files of old papers
Aunt Pittypat swooned from the vapors
In her hand was a photo

Pthom
07-02-2008, 03:54 AM
When sorting through files of old papers
Aunt Pittypat swooned from the vapors
In her hand was a photo
Of her grand dad's De Soto

otterman
07-02-2008, 04:47 AM
When sorting through files of old papers
Aunt Pittypat swooned from the vapors
In her hand was a photo
Of her grand dad's De Soto
"I love how the front fender tapers."

Bill was in love with his Buick,

donroc
07-02-2008, 04:53 AM
Bill was in love with his Buick
And dumped actress Barbar Ruick

Matera the Mad
07-02-2008, 05:38 AM
Bill was in love with his Buick
And dumped actress Barbar Ruick.
His steering wheel

talkwrite
07-02-2008, 07:36 PM
Bill was in love with his Buick
And dumped actress Barbar Ruick.
His steering wheel
Was tarnished steel

Robert Farley
07-03-2008, 03:23 AM
Bill was in love with his Buick
And dumped actress Barbara Ruick.
His steering wheel
Was tarnished steel
So rusty it made him feel too sick.

(alternate ending)
He wrecked and his wheel he had to lick.


Jack thought his charisma was awesome

Sir_Nigel
07-03-2008, 12:49 PM
Jack thought his charisma was awesome
when he lured three chicks to a foursome

donroc
07-03-2008, 03:00 PM
Jack thought his charisma was awesome
when he lured three chicks to a foursome
But he lacked the stamina

Sir_Nigel
07-03-2008, 03:30 PM
Jack thought his charisma was awesome
when he lured three chicks to a foursome
But he lacked the stamina
So the girls flounced out slammin’ a….

otterman
07-03-2008, 06:27 PM
Jack thought his charisma was awesome
when he lured three chicks to a foursome
But he lacked the stamina
So the girls flounced out slammin’ a….
Young stud who said he'd adore some.


That Limerick was really bad,

talkwrite
07-04-2008, 12:43 AM
That Limerick was really bad,
and yet the only one we had

donroc
07-04-2008, 01:32 AM
That Limerick was really bad,
and yet the only one we had
We can do better

Robert Farley
07-04-2008, 01:57 AM
That Limerick was really bad,
and yet the only one we had
We can do better
Just stick to the letter

Sir_Nigel
07-04-2008, 11:33 AM
That Limerick was really bad,
and yet the only one we had
We can do better
Just stick to the letter
Yet this one is pretty poor, also.


‘Oh no Mr Perkins’ she said

donroc
07-04-2008, 03:04 PM
Oh no Mr Perkins’ she said
As he pushed her onto the bed

Nymtoc
07-04-2008, 03:24 PM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
As he pushed her onto the bed.
"I don't really know you

Woof
07-04-2008, 05:10 PM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
As he pushed her onto the bed.
"I don't really know you
And you're married too

Sir_Nigel
07-04-2008, 05:34 PM
"Oh no Mr Perkins," she said
As he pushed her onto the bed.
"I don't really know you
And you're married too
Now I see where my c**k teasing led.’



'Why Maisie, you’re terribly rude'

Woof
07-04-2008, 05:53 PM
Why Maisie, you’re terribly rude'
When you appear all in the nude

FabulaScribe
07-04-2008, 07:31 PM
Why Maisie, you’re terribly rude'
When you appear all in the nude
But off came your clothes

Robert Farley
07-04-2008, 11:20 PM
Why Maisie, you’re terribly rude'
When you appear all in the nude
But off came your clothes
So the book, the judge throws

StephanieFox
07-05-2008, 03:14 AM
Why Maisie, you’re terribly rude'
When you appear all in the nude
But off came your clothes
So the book, the judge throws
"With no clothes, by the law, you're judged lewd."


In summer, the garden is green

otterman
07-05-2008, 06:16 AM
In summer, the garden is green
In winter no color is seen

Just.Jase
07-05-2008, 06:24 AM
In summer, the garden is green,
In winter no color is seen,
Autumn, leaves fall

Nymtoc
07-05-2008, 06:30 AM
In summer, the garden is green,
In winter no color is seen,
Autumn, leaves fall,
Spring's best of all

Matera the Mad
07-05-2008, 07:23 AM
In summer, the garden is green,
In winter no color is seen,
Autumn, leaves fall,
Spring's best of all;
When Life is the fair reigning queen.


If ever there was a disaster

Robert Farley
07-05-2008, 07:39 PM
If ever there was a disaster
Consider a house made of plaster

Just.Jase
07-06-2008, 03:17 AM
If ever there was a disaster
Consider a house made of plaster
A wind comes along

Zonk
07-06-2008, 03:23 AM
If ever there was a disaster
Consider a house made of plaster
A wind comes along
and blew it to Hong Kong



:D:D:D