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Pat~
08-08-2005, 05:33 PM
"Your eyes are like limpid blue pools"
What a line by some poetic fools!
Such drovel insipid

rhymegirl
08-08-2005, 06:07 PM
"Your eyes are like limpid blue pools"
What a line by some poetic fools!
Such drovel insipid
Is making me livid

poetinahat
08-09-2005, 03:44 AM
"Your eyes are like limpid blue pools"
What a line by some poetic fools!
Such drovel insipid
Is making me livid
enough to torch their vestibules.

The preacher went suddenly quiet

rhymegirl
08-09-2005, 03:50 AM
The preacher went suddenly quiet,
He was told he must go on a diet.

Meaney
08-09-2005, 05:50 AM
The preacher went suddenly quiet
He was told he must go on a diet
The pulpit was straining

PattiTheWicked
08-09-2005, 05:54 AM
The preacher went suddenly quiet
He was told he must go on a diet
The pulpit was straining
Holy water was draining

Pat~
08-09-2005, 06:27 AM
The preacher went suddenly quiet
He was told he must go on a diet
The pulpit was straining
Holy water was draining
And the congregants threatened to riot.

My love is a fair maiden true

pianoman5
08-09-2005, 06:45 AM
My love is a fair maiden true
Although, just between me and you

reph
08-09-2005, 08:56 AM
My love is a fair maiden true
Although, just between me and you,
I've seen maidens fairer

Pat~
08-09-2005, 09:29 AM
My love is a fair maiden true
Although, just between me and you,
I've seen maidens fairer
And love that is rarer

poetinahat
08-09-2005, 10:20 AM
My love is a fair maiden true
Although, just between me and you,
I've seen maidens fairer
And love that is rarer
But hey, for the moment, she'll do!

The milkmen of Iceland all say

pianoman5
08-09-2005, 10:36 AM
The milkmen of Iceland all say,
"Drink plenty of moo-juice each day"

Meaney
08-09-2005, 03:05 PM
The milkmen of Iceland all say,
"Drink plenty of moo-juice each day"
Such advice they don't follow

Sara Rachael Hope
08-09-2005, 04:14 PM
The milkmen of Iceland all say,
"Drink plenty of moo-juice each day"
Such advice they don't follow
'cause they can't seem to swallow

rhymegirl
08-09-2005, 04:57 PM
The milkmen of Iceland all say,
"Drink plenty of moo-juice each day"
Such advice they don't follow
'cause they can't seem to swallow
so their bodies are withering away.

It's time for a dip in the pool

PattiTheWicked
08-09-2005, 09:22 PM
It's time for a dip in the pool
So hot out, I'm starting to drool

rhymegirl
08-09-2005, 10:18 PM
It's time for a dip in the pool
So hot out, I'm starting to drool,
I could sure use a drink

poetinahat
08-10-2005, 02:56 AM
It's time for a dip in the pool
So hot out, I'm starting to drool,
I could sure use a drink
Something chilly and pink

reph
08-10-2005, 03:25 AM
It's time for a dip in the pool
So hot out, I'm starting to drool,
I could sure use a drink
Something chilly and pink
Like they teach you in bartenders' school.

My mother-in-law really bugs me

pianoman5
08-10-2005, 06:24 AM
My mother-in-law really bugs me
Her home is so chintzy and drugs-free

poetinahat
08-10-2005, 06:27 AM
My mother-in-law really bugs me
Her home is so chintzy and drugs-free
So when I must see her,

reph
08-10-2005, 06:44 AM
My mother-in-law really bugs me
Her home is so chintzy and drugs-free
So when I must see her,
I get drunk on be-er

Solatium
08-10-2005, 07:16 AM
My mother-in-law really bugs me
Her home is so chintzy and drugs-free
So when I must see her,
I get drunk on be-er
And vomit the moment she hugs me.

I must have deleted this line

Marisa Louise
08-10-2005, 09:48 AM
I must have deleted this line
I tell myself "it will be fine!"

Pthom
08-10-2005, 12:02 PM
I must have deleted this line
I tell myself "it will be fine!"
But then, in the morning

pianoman5
08-10-2005, 03:00 PM
I must have deleted this line
I tell myself "it will be fine!"
But then, in the morning
With consciousness dawning

pconsidine
08-10-2005, 06:08 PM
I must have deleted this line
I tell myself "it will be fine!"
But then, in the morning
With consciousness dawning
I find that the line was my spine.

Not sure I like that one, but there you have it.

Of the topics that ought to be banned

PattiTheWicked
08-10-2005, 06:11 PM
Of the topics that ought to be banned
Several will always withstand

poetinahat
08-11-2005, 02:41 AM
Of the topics that ought to be banned
Several will always withstand
the bluest of noses

rhymegirl
08-11-2005, 02:53 AM
Of the topics that ought to be banned
Several will always withstand
the bluest of noses
like black dying roses

poetinahat
08-11-2005, 07:22 AM
Of the topics that ought to be banned
Several will always withstand
the bluest of noses
like black dying roses
that grow just as well in the sand.

The infinite nature of space

reph
08-11-2005, 07:29 AM
The infinite nature of space
Is too much for my mind to embrace

Meaney
08-11-2005, 09:11 AM
The infinite nature of space
Is too much for my mind to embrace
I've enough trouble keeping

Pthom
08-11-2005, 10:08 AM
The infinite nature of space
Is too much for my mind to embrace
I've enough trouble keeping
My cell phone from beeping

Pat~
08-11-2005, 12:48 PM
The infinite nature of space
Is too much for my mind to embrace
I've enough trouble keeping
My cell phone from beeping--
Any deeper my brain cells can't face!

(And now for a little Ogden Nash...)

A pea and a pie on a pew

Meaney
08-11-2005, 03:45 PM
A pea and a pie on a pew
Put paid to a pious revue

Solatium
08-11-2005, 09:27 PM
A pea and a pie on a pew
Put paid to a pious revue
(Though that may sound tricky,

PattiTheWicked
08-11-2005, 09:31 PM
A pea and a pie on a pew
Put paid to a pious revue
(Though that may sound tricky,
and possibly sticky)

Meaney
08-12-2005, 04:14 AM
A pea and a pie on a pew
Put paid to a pious revue
(Though that may sound tricky,
and possibly sticky)
But priests in high heels is not new.

When Socrates asked, "Is it better...

rhymegirl
08-12-2005, 05:05 AM
When Socrates asked, "Is it better..."
Wearing his bright purple sweater,

poetinahat
08-12-2005, 08:03 AM
When Socrates asked, "Is it better..."
Wearing his bright purple sweater,
"to practice denial

Meaney
08-12-2005, 10:22 AM
When Socrates asked, "Is it better..."
Wearing his bright purple sweater,
"to practice denial
of this poison vial?"

reph
08-12-2005, 10:40 AM
When Socrates asked, "Is it better..."
Wearing his bright purple sweater,
"to practice denial
of this poison vial?"
His students wrote down every letter.

A large bowl of oysters and clams

Carole
08-12-2005, 04:34 PM
a large bowl of oysters and clams
were spilled down the actresses gams

Pat~
08-12-2005, 07:45 PM
A large bowl of oysters and clams
Was spilled down the actress's gams;
She jumped up and down

PattiTheWicked
08-12-2005, 11:20 PM
A large bowl of oysters and clams
Was spilled down the actress's gams;
She jumped up and down
And tore at her gown

reph
08-13-2005, 01:02 AM
A large bowl of oysters and clams
Was spilled down the actress's gams;
She jumped up and down
And tore at her gown
While shrieking "Please turn off those cams!"

If I had a dollar to spare

Pat~
08-13-2005, 03:09 AM
If I had a dollar to spare
I'd buy us some popcorn to share,

Meaney
08-13-2005, 07:59 AM
If I had a dollar to spare
I'd buy us some popcorn to share,
but the usher collected

reph
08-13-2005, 09:17 AM
If I had a dollar to spare
I'd buy us some popcorn to share,
but the usher collected
much more than expected

Marisa Louise
08-13-2005, 09:33 AM
If I had a dollar to spare
I'd buy us some popcorn to share,
but the usher collected
much more than expected
So, instead, I'll just buy me a beer!

Gas prices are going to kill me

reph
08-13-2005, 12:00 PM
Gas prices are going to kill me
I wanted to buy something filmy

rhymegirl
08-13-2005, 05:34 PM
Gas prices are going to kill me
I wanted to buy something filmy,
something see-through, that is

Pat~
08-14-2005, 05:03 AM
Gas prices are going to kill me
I wanted to buy something filmy,
something see-through, that is
with dazzle and sizz

Carole
08-14-2005, 06:31 AM
Gas prices are going to kill me
I wanted to buy something filmy,
something see-through, that is
with dazzle and sizz
But my car won't stop whimpering, "Fill me!"

reph
08-14-2005, 09:06 AM
Carole, having supplied the last line, you get to start the next limerick.

Carole
08-15-2005, 12:41 AM
(eek! sorry)
_______________________

The wedding guests watched in great horror

Pat~
08-15-2005, 12:55 AM
The wedding guests watched in great horror
As the groom loudly said, "I deplore her!"

poetinahat
08-15-2005, 02:23 AM
The wedding guests watched in great horror
As the groom loudly said, "I deplore her!"
"The dowry appeals,

PattiTheWicked
08-15-2005, 04:51 AM
The wedding guests watched in great horror
As the groom loudly said, "I deplore her!"
"The dowry appeals,
but really it feels

Meaney
08-15-2005, 05:55 AM
The wedding guests watched in great horror
As the groom loudly said, "I deplore her!"
"The dowry appeals,
but really it feels
like I'm an Antarctic explorer!"

A spaceship dropped out of the heavens

Pat~
08-15-2005, 06:55 AM
A spaceship dropped out of the heavens
Right onto the home of the Blevins

poetinahat
08-15-2005, 07:31 AM
A spaceship dropped out of the heavens
Right onto the home of the Blevins
And the rocket's red glare

reph
08-15-2005, 08:31 AM
A spaceship dropped out of the heavens
Right onto the home of the Blevins
And the rocket's red glare
Lit up everything there

Pat~
08-15-2005, 09:22 AM
spaceship dropped out of the heavens
Right onto the home of the Blevins
And the rocket's red glare
Lit up everything there
With a flash that was brighter than levin(s)!

The zookeeper opened the cage

poetinahat
08-15-2005, 10:15 AM
The zookeeper opened the cage
(a big risk for minimum wage)

rhymegirl
08-15-2005, 04:12 PM
The zookeeper opened the cage
(a big risk for minimum wage),
the lions got out

Meaney
08-15-2005, 05:35 PM
The zookeeper opened the cage
(a big risk for minimum wage);
the lions got out
and ate a boy scout

PattiTheWicked
08-15-2005, 07:42 PM
The zookeeper opened the cage
(a big risk for minimum wage);
the lions got out
and ate a boy scout
And then danced a jig on the stage


My printer has started to shake

Pat~
08-15-2005, 07:55 PM
My printer has started to shake
Like the time it survived that earthquake

Carole
08-15-2005, 09:03 PM
My printer has started to shake
Like the time it survived that earthquake
I'm beginning to fear

rhymegirl
08-15-2005, 09:18 PM
My printer has started to shake
Like the time it survived that earthquake
I'm beginning to fear
that my printer is queer

reph
08-15-2005, 10:23 PM
My printer has started to shake
Like the time it survived that earthquake
I'm beginning to fear
that my printer is queer
For it speaks and complains of an ache.

Don't try to play chess with a dragon

Pat~
08-16-2005, 09:16 AM
Don't try to play chess with a dragon
Especially one given to braggin'

poetinahat
08-16-2005, 09:46 AM
Don't try to play chess with a dragon
Especially one given to braggin'
He'll breathe on your queen

reph
08-16-2005, 10:44 AM
Don't try to play chess with a dragon
Especially one given to braggin'
He'll breathe on your queen
And set fire to the scene

Carole
08-16-2005, 02:23 PM
Don't try to play chess with a dragon
Especially one given to braggin
He'll breathe on your queen
And set fire to the scene
Then skip town in his purple Volkswagon
________________________________


I just drank my fourth cup of coffee

rhymegirl
08-16-2005, 08:35 PM
Don't try to play chess with a dragon
Especially one given to braggin
He'll breathe on your queen
And set fire to the scene
Then skip town in his purple Volkswagon
________________________________


I just drank my fourth cup of coffee
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee

Solatium
08-17-2005, 01:37 AM
I just drank my fourth cup of coffee;
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee.
Why that was, I don't know

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 02:27 AM
I just drank my fourth cup of coffee;
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee.
Why that was, I don't know
'cause my brain is too slow

poetinahat
08-17-2005, 03:20 AM
I just drank my fourth cup of coffee;
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee.
Why that was, I don't know
'cause my brain is too slow
And my hair's gone all Dave Hasselhoff-y

A scientist working in Kenya

reph
08-17-2005, 03:21 AM
I just drank my fourth cup of coffee;
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee.
Why that was, I don't know
'cause my brain is too slow
Now I think I'll go take some time off. Hee!

I made my own dress out of burlap

Pat~
08-17-2005, 03:32 AM
"I made my own dress out of burlap,"
said Ann as she drank from the watertap;

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 04:34 AM
"I made my own dress out of burlap,"
said Ann as she drank from the watertap;
Her boyfriend said, "Yuck!"

poetinahat
08-17-2005, 04:46 AM
"I made my own dress out of burlap,"
said Ann as she drank from the watertap;
Her boyfriend said, "Yuck!"
It feels like we're stuck

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 05:02 AM
"I made my own dress out of burlap,"
said Ann as she drank from the watertap;
Her boyfriend said, "Yuck!
It feels like we're stuck
in some kinda fashion craze mishap!"

"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,

Pat~
08-17-2005, 05:05 AM
I just drank my fourth cup of coffee;
It tasted like stale, dried up toffee.
Why that was, I don't know
'cause my brain is too slow
And my hair's gone all Dave Hasselhoff-y

A scientist working in Kenya

oops...didn't see this one also submitted...sorry poetinahat!

A scientist working in Kenya
Named Mortimer Alvin McVennia

PattiTheWicked
08-17-2005, 05:33 AM
A scientist working in Kenya
Named Mortimer Alvin McVennia
Was filming a rhino

poetinahat
08-17-2005, 05:45 AM
Another double-thread! Let's finish off both:

1:
A scientist working in Kenya
Named Mortimer Alvin McVennia
Was filming a rhino
and thought, "What do I know?"

2: (about the burlap dress)

"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,
as she dealt the next hand of Fan Tan

Solatium
08-17-2005, 09:32 AM
A scientist working in Kenya
Named Mortimer Alvin McVennia
Was filming a rhino
and thought, "What do I know?
I can't tell it from a gardenia!"

---

"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,
as she dealt the next hand of Fan Tan,
"It's good for my skin!

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 03:58 PM
"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,
as she dealt the next hand of Fan Tan,
"It's good for my skin!
And it sure makes me grin!

Meaney
08-17-2005, 04:06 PM
"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,
as she dealt the next hand of Fan Tan,
"It's good for my skin!
And it sure makes me grin!
And gives me a great tartan tan!"

The witness confessed, "It was me!"

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 04:10 PM
"What do men know? I love it!" cried Ann,
as she dealt the next hand of Fan Tan,
"It's good for my skin!
And it sure makes me grin!
And gives me a great tartan tan!"

The witness confessed, "It was me
Who saw the fat criminal flee!"

Pat~
08-17-2005, 05:47 PM
The witness confessed, "It was me
Who saw the fat criminal flee!"
His pockets were bulging

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 06:09 PM
The witness confessed, "It was me
Who saw the fat criminal flee!"
His pockets were bulging
so I am divulging

Sara Rachael Hope
08-17-2005, 06:17 PM
The witness confessed, "It was me
Who saw the fat criminal flee!"
His pockets were bulging
so I am divulging
"It hasn't been meaningless to Thee?!".

I had wanted to keep my mouth shut

Honey Nut Loop
08-17-2005, 06:18 PM
I had wanted to keep my mouth shut,
After the bullly kicked me in teh butt,

rhymegirl
08-17-2005, 06:22 PM
I had wanted to keep my mouth shut,
After the bullly kicked me in the butt,
But I've got a big mouth



EDIT: You have to use different rhyming words. Not me and me or tan and tan.

PattiTheWicked
08-17-2005, 07:34 PM
I had wanted to keep my mouth shut,
After the bullly kicked me in the butt,
But I've got a big mouth
And I came from the south

Solatium
08-17-2005, 07:47 PM
I had wanted to keep my mouth shut,
After the bullly kicked me in the butt,
But I've got a big mouth
And I came from the south
So I said what I thought -- to his gut.

Last week I played Scrabble with Death

PattiTheWicked
08-17-2005, 08:39 PM
Last week I played Scrabble with Death
I offered a mint for his breath

poetinahat
08-18-2005, 03:53 AM
Last week I played Scrabble with Death
I offered a mint for his breath
His subsequent howl

Pat~
08-18-2005, 04:21 AM
Last week I played Scrabble with Death
I offered a mint for his breath
His subsequent howl
Made me drop my next vowel

poetinahat
08-18-2005, 04:59 AM
Last week I played Scrabble with Death
I offered a mint for his breath
His subsequent howl
Made me drop my next vowel
Then he challenged my use of "Macbeth"!

The travelling sideshow has gone

Carole
08-18-2005, 05:45 AM
The travelling sideshow has gone
But a weird man remains on my lawn

Pat~
08-18-2005, 05:46 AM
The travelling sideshow has gone
And with it my girlfriend Yvonne

Pat~
08-18-2005, 07:26 AM
1.
The travelling sideshow has gone
But a weird man remains on my lawn
He's swallowing fire

2.
The travelling sideshow has gone
And with it my girlfriend Yvonne

reph
08-18-2005, 07:41 AM
1.
The travelling sideshow has gone
But a weird man remains on my lawn
He's swallowing fire
While neighbors admire

2.
The travelling sideshow has gone
And with it my girlfriend Yvonne
What she'll earn every night

Carole
08-18-2005, 08:19 AM
1
The traveling sideshow has gone
but a weird man remains on my lawn
He's swallowing fire
While neighbors admire,
but all I can muster is, "Yawn"

2
The traveling sideshow has gone
and with it, my girlfriend Yvonne
What she'll earn every night
In the all-girl mud fight

poetinahat
08-18-2005, 09:09 AM
1
The traveling sideshow has gone
but a weird man remains on my lawn
He's swallowing fire
While neighbors admire,
but all I can muster is, "Yawn"

Now, that is a splendid finish.

2
The traveling sideshow has gone
and with it, my girlfriend Yvonne
What she'll earn every night
In the all-girl mud fight
with Tony Orlando and Dawn...

...would feed Liechtenstein for a week

Solatium
08-18-2005, 11:16 AM
. . . Would feed Liechtenstein for a week
If she hadn't a soft-hearted streak

reph
08-18-2005, 11:22 AM
. . . Would feed Liechtenstein for a week
If she hadn't a soft-hearted streak
So it's cat food she'll buy

Pat~
08-18-2005, 05:04 PM
. . . Would feed Liechtenstein for a week
If she hadn't a soft-hearted streak
So it's cat food she'll buy
And some bargain potpie

Meaney
08-18-2005, 06:09 PM
. . . Would feed Liechtenstein for a week
If she hadn't a soft-hearted streak
So it's cat food she'll buy
And some bargain potpie
and donate all the rest to the Geek.

Here's one for George W. Bush

PattiTheWicked
08-18-2005, 10:47 PM
Here's one for George W. Bush
Whose brain has softened to mush

reph
08-19-2005, 01:52 AM
Here's one for George W. Bush
Whose brain has softened to mush
All our foreign friends say

Pat~
08-19-2005, 02:15 AM
Here's one for George W. Bush
Whose brain has softened to mush
All our foreign friends say
They're thankful the way

poetinahat
08-19-2005, 02:44 AM
Here's one for George W. Bush
Whose brain has softened to mush
All our foreign friends say
They're thankful the way
He's kept all the Yanks off the Dole*

*: "on the dole" = on welfare; and yes, I know it doesn't rhyme. Can I call it an assonance? Or does the Dole reference just not work?

I robbed Peter just to pay Paul

PattiTheWicked
08-19-2005, 04:13 AM
I robbed Peter just to pay Paul
And then to the shock of us all

reph
08-19-2005, 04:54 AM
Here's one for George W. Bush
Whose brain has softened to mush
All our foreign friends say
They're thankful the way
He's kept all the Yanks off the Dole*

*: "on the dole" = on welfare; and yes, I know it doesn't rhyme. Can I call it an assonance? Or does the Dole reference just not work?
*It doesn't work for me: besides the rhyme issue, many Yanks are on the dole.

Maybe "He captured Saddam's ugly tush."

I robbed Peter just to pay Paul
And then to the shock of us all
Peter called the police

Pat~
08-19-2005, 06:02 AM
I robbed Peter just to pay Paul
And then to the shock of us all
Peter called the police
And I took off for Greece

rhymegirl
08-19-2005, 06:20 AM
I robbed Peter just to pay Paul
And then to the shock of us all
Peter called the police
And I took off for Greece,
I'm still there and having a ball!

_______________________________

They were digging up my street today

poetinahat
08-19-2005, 07:47 AM
*It doesn't work for me: besides the rhyme issue, many Yanks are on the dole.

Maybe "He captured Saddam's ugly tush."


Oh, well, throw it away. They can't all be gems.

poetinahat
08-19-2005, 08:11 AM
They were digging up my street today
which disrupted my roll in the hay

reph
08-19-2005, 08:18 AM
They were digging up my street today
which disrupted my roll in the hay
Then my breakfast was cold

Solatium
08-19-2005, 09:12 AM
They were digging up my street today,
which disrupted my roll in the hay.
Then my breakfast was cold,
And the car that I'd sold

Pat~
08-19-2005, 09:33 AM
They were digging up my street today,
which disrupted my roll in the hay.
Then my breakfast was cold,
And the car that I'd sold
Was trapped in the front driveway.

My laptop is scorching my legs

Solatium
08-19-2005, 03:17 PM
My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs

Alphabet
08-19-2005, 03:27 PM
My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
But the heat generated

gp101
08-19-2005, 03:40 PM
*It doesn't work for me: besides the rhyme issue, many Yanks are on the dole.

And the overwhelming majority of us aren't.


My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
But the heat generated
with pics quite x-rated

Solatium
08-19-2005, 04:15 PM
My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
But the heat generated
with pics quite x-rated
Might mean I can never get pregs

Would that be a tragedy? No

Pat~
08-19-2005, 05:06 PM
Would that be a tragedy? No--
(Already got two teenagers in tow);

Carole
08-19-2005, 06:51 PM
Would that be a tragedy? No--
(already got two teenagers in tow);
The thought of another

Pat~
08-19-2005, 11:32 PM
Would that be a tragedy? No--
(already got two teenagers in tow);
The thought of another
Li'l sister or brother

Mr Underhill
08-20-2005, 04:54 AM
Would that be a tragedy? No;
Two teenagers already in tow
The thought of another
Li'l sister or brother
My breakfast I'm ready to throw

(sorry - couldn't resist fixing the meter in line 2...)

The lion's gap tooth made this whistle

Pat~
08-20-2005, 05:36 AM
The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle

Carole
08-21-2005, 07:41 PM
The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush

poetinahat
08-22-2005, 05:26 AM
The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush
but his mane is so plush

reph
08-22-2005, 08:03 AM
The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush
but his mane is so plush
You could never part it with a missile.

Who painted my kitchen with slogans?

Meaney
08-22-2005, 08:11 AM
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?

poetinahat
08-22-2005, 08:58 AM
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili

Pat~
08-22-2005, 09:54 AM
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely

Meaney
08-22-2005, 10:22 AM
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely
with tributes to Japanese shoguns.

[Alright, there's no reason Swahili warriors would honour ancient Japanese military, but I challenge anyone to come up with a rhyme for slogans!]

I leapt from the top of the tower

poetinahat
08-22-2005, 11:06 AM
I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower*

*: If this is too obscure for non-Euchre players, chuck it out.

reph
08-22-2005, 11:38 AM
If this is too obscure for non-Euchre players, chuck it out.
It's too obscure for me, but I can work with it if I don't have to know anything about Euchre.

I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,

(Meaney: slow guns, throw guns, brogue ones but "shoguns" suffices.)

Meaney
08-22-2005, 02:14 PM
I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,
I dropped a half crown



(Meaney: slow guns, throw guns, brogue ones but "shoguns" suffices.)
I should know better than to bandy challenges I must concede.

reph
08-22-2005, 10:57 PM
. . . brogans.

Pat~
08-23-2005, 04:15 AM
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely
with tributes to Japanese shoguns.

[Alright, there's no reason Swahili warriors would honour ancient Japanese military, but I challenge anyone to come up with a rhyme for slogans!]



...with signature looking like Hogan's...

poetinahat
08-23-2005, 04:35 AM
I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,
I dropped a half crown
And beat my best time by an hour

When two turtles go on a date

Carole
08-23-2005, 04:49 AM
When two turtles go on a date
Admiration can soon turn to hate

Meaney
08-23-2005, 05:16 AM
When two turtles go on a date
Admiration can soon turn to hate
for turtles are fickle

Pat~
08-23-2005, 05:25 AM
When two turtles go on a date
Admiration can soon turn to hate
for turtles are fickle
with feelings that prickle

Meaney
08-23-2005, 09:27 AM
When two turtles go on a date
Admiration can soon turn to hate
for turtles are fickle
with feelings that prickle
and they really do hate to be late.

The 50-foot woman is pissed

poetinahat
08-23-2005, 09:39 AM
The 50-foot woman is pissed
And she's holding Jude Law in her fist

reph
08-23-2005, 11:28 AM
The 50-foot woman is pissed
And she's holding Jude Law in her fist
That's right, it's a remake

Meaney
08-23-2005, 05:15 PM
The 50-foot woman is pissed
And she's holding Jude Law in her fist
That's right, it's a remake
No scene was a retake

Carole
08-23-2005, 07:16 PM
The 50-foot woman is pissed
And she's holding Jude Law in her fist
That's right, it's a remake
No scene was a retake
But poor Jude was swallowed when kissed!

____________________________


I noticed a spot on my shirt

PattiTheWicked
08-23-2005, 09:33 PM
I noticed a spot on my shirt.
Is there such a thing as blue dirt?

Pat~
08-23-2005, 10:47 PM
I noticed a spot on my shirt.
Is there such a thing as blue dirt?
Or did my pen leak

poetinahat
08-24-2005, 04:23 AM
I noticed a spot on my shirt.
Is there such a thing as blue dirt?
Or did my pen leak
(it looks like batik)

Pat~
08-24-2005, 05:22 AM
I noticed a spot on my shirt.
Is there such a thing as blue dirt?
Or did my pen leak--
(it looks like batik
or an octopus squirt) thought Curt.

Her husband brought home some red roses

Meaney
08-24-2005, 06:20 AM
Her husband brought home some red roses
for his wife before she decomposes

PattiTheWicked
08-24-2005, 07:19 AM
Her husband brought home some red roses
for his wife before she decomposes
She's down in the cellar

Pat~
08-24-2005, 07:57 AM
Her husband brought home some red roses
for his wife before she decomposes
She's down in the cellar
Along with that feller

poetinahat
08-24-2005, 11:08 AM
Her husband brought home some red roses
for his wife before she decomposes
She's down in the cellar
Along with that feller
who's read every book of Spinoza's

I've got just a shadow of doubt

Meaney
08-24-2005, 12:05 PM
I've got just a shadow of doubt
What any of this is about

Alphabet
08-24-2005, 12:18 PM
I've got just a shadow of doubt
What any of this is about
But it won't take much longer

poetinahat
08-25-2005, 08:25 AM
I've got just a shadow of doubt
What any of this is about
But it won't take much longer
nor be any wronger

Meaney
08-25-2005, 11:59 AM
I've got just a shadow of doubt
What any of this is about
But it won't take much longer
nor be any wronger
to wonder day in and day out.

Clint Eastwood has moved in next door

Pat~
08-25-2005, 04:48 PM
Clint Eastwood has moved in next door
Along with a traveling press corp

Carole
08-25-2005, 05:25 PM
Clint Eastwood has moved in next door
Along with a traveling press corp
My husband decided

poetinahat
08-26-2005, 02:51 AM
Clint Eastwood has moved in next door
Along with a traveling press corp
My husband decided
he won't call, but I did -

Meaney
08-26-2005, 04:17 AM
Clint Eastwood has moved in next door
Along with a traveling press corps
My husband decided
he won't call, but I did
to see Dirty Harry's decor.

A billboard was put on my roof

PattiTheWicked
08-26-2005, 04:50 AM
A billboard was put on my roof
The neighbors then found me aloof

Carole
08-26-2005, 05:10 AM
A billboard was put on my roof
The neighbors then found me aloof
"Eat At Joe's", it is blinking

poetinahat
08-26-2005, 05:49 AM
A billboard was put on my roof
The neighbors then found me aloof
"Eat At Joe's", it is blinking
"Cards, Women and Drinking"

Pat~
08-26-2005, 06:04 AM
A billboard was put on my roof
The neighbors then found me aloof
"Eat At Joe's", it is blinking
"Cards, Women and Drinking,
And Booths that are Bulletproof."

I stepped in a bucket of paint

PattiTheWicked
08-26-2005, 06:56 AM
I stepped in a bucket of paint
Graceful is something I ain't

poetinahat
08-26-2005, 07:09 AM
I stepped in a bucket of paint
Graceful is something I ain't
but the can says 'Two coats'

PattiTheWicked
08-26-2005, 07:20 AM
I stepped in a bucket of paint
Graceful is something I ain't
but the can says 'Two coats'
should cover my goats

poetinahat
08-26-2005, 08:15 AM
I stepped in a bucket of paint
Graceful is something I ain't
but the can says 'Two coats'
should cover my goats
Would that make me sinner, or saint?

The Magical Mystery Tour

reph
08-26-2005, 10:14 AM
The Magical Mystery Tour:
I remember that album, for sure!

akelsey333
08-27-2005, 02:17 AM
The Magical Mystery Tour:
I remember that album, for sure!
I swear I was sober.

PattiTheWicked
08-27-2005, 04:57 AM
The Magical Mystery Tour:
I remember that album, for sure!
I swear I was sober
But then in October

Meaney
08-27-2005, 01:54 PM
The Magical Mystery Tour:
I remember that album, for sure!
I swear I was sober
But then in October
My sworn statement seemed premature.

Don't ever get stuck in Miami

reph
08-27-2005, 09:57 PM
Don't ever get stuck in Miami
They'll offer you cash for your mammy

(Meaney, what's the expectation here? Am I supposed to finish it?)

PattiTheWicked
08-27-2005, 11:31 PM
Don't ever get stuck in Miami
They'll offer you cash for your mammy
But when hurricanes come

akelsey333
08-28-2005, 12:07 AM
Don't ever get stuck in Miami
They'll offer you cash for your mammy
But when hurricanes come
You'll be out on your bum

Meaney
08-28-2005, 09:32 AM
Don't ever get stuck in Miami
They'll offer you cash for your mammy
But when hurricanes come
You'll be out on your bum
like the fuss-of-the-month at the Grammys.


(Meaney, what's the expectation here? Am I supposed to finish it?)Nah, just one rhyme with Miami. Seems I got myself into a pickle trying to finish it anyway. :idea:
_______________________


The gunslinger stood in the street...

reph
08-28-2005, 11:28 AM
Oh, okay. I was ready if called on:

Don't ever get stuck in Miami.
They'll offer you cash for your mammy,
And if you think that's bad,
You can lease out your dad
With options on Grandpa and Grammy.

Now:

The gunslinger stood in the street
He juggled three grapes and a beet

Meaney
08-28-2005, 02:26 PM
:guns:
The gunslinger stood in the street
He juggled three grapes and a beet
But his lightning-fast draw

Pat~
08-28-2005, 11:13 PM
:guns:
The gunslinger stood in the street
He juggled three grapes and a beet
But his lightning-fast draw
Had one fatal flaw

Honey Nut Loop
08-29-2005, 01:54 AM
The gunslinger stood in the street
He juggled three grapes and a beet
But his lightning-fast draw
Had one fatal flaw,
As his gun was anchored in concrete.

The idiot lifted his hand,

akelsey333
08-29-2005, 02:13 AM
The idiot lifted his hand
like Lawrence Welk leading a band

Meaney
08-29-2005, 03:55 AM
The idiot lifted his hand
like Lawrence Welk leading a band
"If I aren't mistaken...

poetinahat
08-29-2005, 05:24 AM
The idiot lifted his hand
like Lawrence Welk leading a band
"If I aren't mistaken...
you're no Kevin Bacon

Meaney
08-29-2005, 05:35 AM
The idiot lifted his hand
like Lawrence Welk leading a band
"If I aren't mistaken
you're no Kevin Bacon,"
he told Kevin Bacon. "Understand?"

"My dog ate my homework," said John.

Sarita
08-29-2005, 05:44 AM
"My dog ate my homework," said John.
Now I'm not sure I belong

PattiTheWicked
08-29-2005, 06:05 AM
"My dog ate my homework," said John.
Now I'm not sure I belong
In this really odd group

poetinahat
08-29-2005, 06:07 AM
"My dog ate my homework," said John.
Now I'm not sure I belong
In this really odd group
Take me back to F-Troop

Sarita
08-29-2005, 06:20 AM
"My dog ate my homework," said John.
Now I'm not sure I belong
In this really odd group
Take me back to F-Troop
Before they notice I'm gone

I was sitting by the shore

PattiTheWicked
08-29-2005, 06:23 AM
I was sitting by the shore
With someone I really adore

poetinahat
08-29-2005, 08:57 AM
I was sitting by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone

Meaney
08-29-2005, 09:39 AM
I'm confused by the meter on this one. As per reph's post, a limerick should adhere to a particular meter.

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=282199&postcount=381

Even if we experiment on this one and start with seven beats, the second line throws if off with eight.

Could I propose:

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I adore (first beat implied)
Our chaperone
went off alone

poetinahat
08-29-2005, 09:54 AM
I'm confused by the meter on this one. As per reph's post, a limerick should adhere to a particular meter.

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=282199&postcount=381

Even if we experiment on this one and start with seven beats, the second line throws if off with eight.

Could I propose:

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I adore (first beat implied)
Our chaperone
went off alone

Or...

I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own

reph
08-29-2005, 10:42 AM
Meaney, the first line indeed doesn't have limerick meter, but your proposed replacement doesn't have it, either. Limericks go da-DA-da da DA-da, three beats to the bar, like waltz rhythm, not da-DA da-DA or DA-da DA-da. poetinahat's fix works.

I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own
And thereby allowed me to score.

It's time to sign up at a gym

Meaney
08-29-2005, 01:54 PM
Meaney, the first line indeed doesn't have limerick meter, but your proposed replacement doesn't have it, either. Limericks go da-DA-da da DA-da, three beats to the bar, like waltz rhythm, not da-DA da-DA or DA-da DA-da. poetinahat's fix works.Yes, I know it doesn't have a limerick meter. I was humouring the experiment.
:Shrug:

I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own
And thereby allowed me to score.

It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim

PattiTheWicked
08-29-2005, 05:25 PM
It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet

Pat~
08-30-2005, 01:33 AM
It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet
(It can't hurt to try it)

poetinahat
08-30-2005, 02:34 AM
It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet
(It can't hurt to try it)
From now on, my milk will be skim!

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod

reph
08-30-2005, 03:32 AM
When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd

PattiTheWicked
08-30-2005, 04:58 AM
When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
Help me, I'm blind

Meaney
08-30-2005, 06:07 AM
When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
"Help me, I'm blind!"
(for their heads really shined)

reph
08-30-2005, 06:32 AM
When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
"Help me, I'm blind!"
(for their heads really shined)
No car salesman's jacket's so loud.

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack

Pat~
08-30-2005, 06:50 AM
Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac

rhymegirl
08-30-2005, 07:15 AM
Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids

Meaney
08-30-2005, 07:23 AM
Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids
and my husband forbids

poetinahat
08-30-2005, 09:30 AM
Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids
and my husband forbids
crystalware, so I'm drinking a six-pack

The road from Calcutta to Delhi

Pthom
08-30-2005, 10:27 AM
The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly

rhymegirl
08-30-2005, 03:54 PM
The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle

Carole
08-30-2005, 05:59 PM
The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle

Pat~
08-30-2005, 10:35 PM
The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle
And a smashed jar of green apple jelly.

The trip home from Pheonix to Dallas

rhymegirl
08-31-2005, 04:28 AM
The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle
And a smashed jar of green apple jelly.
______________________________________

The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,

akelsey333
08-31-2005, 05:53 AM
The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,
who bored me tears

Pthom
08-31-2005, 06:39 AM
The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,
who bored me tears
recounting her fears

PattiTheWicked
08-31-2005, 07:05 AM
The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,
who bored me tears
recounting her fears
of an ogre who lived in a palace.

I think I should go on a trip

Meaney
08-31-2005, 09:26 AM
I think I should go on a trip.
I'm tired of the ol' Gaza Strip.

Pat~
08-31-2005, 10:12 PM
I think I should go on a trip.
I'm tired of the ol' Gaza Strip.
I'm packing my bags

Meaney
09-01-2005, 02:15 AM
I think I should go on a trip.
I'm tired of the ol' Gaza Strip.
I'm packing my bags
and my Israeli flags

Meaney
09-03-2005, 08:36 AM
I think I should go on a trip.
I'm tired of the ol' Gaza Strip.
I'm packing my bags
and my Israeli flags
and jumping the next cargo ship.

When Hamlet asked, "To be or not?"

reph
09-03-2005, 09:00 AM
When Hamlet asked, "To be or not?"
The audience, Cockneys, said "Wot?"

rhymegirl
09-03-2005, 04:55 PM
When Hamlet asked, "To be or not?"
The audience, Cockneys, said "Wot?"
"We don't get that dude,

poetinahat
09-04-2005, 07:49 AM
When Hamlet asked, "To be or not?"
The audience, Cockneys, said "Wot?"
"We don't get that dude,
by jing, he'll be booed!"

Meaney
09-04-2005, 11:09 AM
When Hamlet asked, "To be or not?"
The audience, Cockneys, said "Wot?"
"We don't get that dude,
by jing, he'll be booed
before he falls prey to the plot!"

The ring on my cellphone got stuck

reph
09-04-2005, 12:25 PM
The ring on my cellphone got stuck
It scared off four geese and a duck

rhymegirl
09-06-2005, 03:56 AM
The ring on my cellphone got stuck
It scared off four geese and a duck (uh oh, what rhymes with duck)
And the cops hauled me off,

Meaney
09-06-2005, 04:47 AM
The ring on my cellphone got stuck
It scared off four geese and a duck
And the cops hauled me off
with a sneer and a scoff

poetinahat
09-06-2005, 04:55 AM
The ring on my cellphone got stuck
It scared off four geese and a duck
And the cops hauled me off
with a sneer and a scoff
To become a Vancouver Canuck

King Arthur despised his round table

Pat~
09-06-2005, 04:57 AM
The ring on my cellphone got stuck
It scared off four geese and a duck
And the cops hauled me off
with a sneer and a scoff
In a battered old pickup truck.

She went for a spin on the ice

Pat~
09-06-2005, 04:59 AM
King Arthur despised his round table
He said, "Make it square if you're able"

rhymegirl
09-06-2005, 05:03 AM
King Arthur despised his round table
He said, "Make it square if you're able,
Cuz I'm a square dude

Solatium
09-06-2005, 09:19 PM
King Arthur despised his round table
He said, "Make it square if you're able,
Cuz I'm a square dude,
And with my attitude

---

She went for a spin on the ice
With a goat and two overgrown mice

Pat~
09-07-2005, 12:08 AM
King Arthur despised his round table
He said, "Make it square if you're able,
Cuz I'm a square dude,
And with my attitude
I'll not be in folklore or fable!"

---

She went for a spin on the ice
With a goat and two overgrown mice
The mice did all right

Meaney
09-07-2005, 10:41 AM
She went for a spin on the ice
With a goat and two overgrown mice
The mice did all right
but the goats got stage fright

Pat~
09-07-2005, 11:37 PM
She went for a spin on the ice
With a goat and two overgrown mice
The mice did all right
but the goats got stage fright
After watching that champ Michael Weiss.

My gas tank is running on empty

poetinahat
09-08-2005, 02:47 AM
My gas tank is running on empty
And I'm twenty-nine miles south of Tempe

reph
09-08-2005, 08:27 AM
My gas tank is running on empty
And I'm twenty-nine miles south of Tempe
In an hour I'm due

poetinahat
09-08-2005, 09:35 AM
My gas tank is running on empty
And I'm twenty-nine miles south of Tempe
In an hour I'm due
to read extracts from Proust

reph
09-08-2005, 11:50 AM
(Does "Proust" have that many silent letters?)

Meaney
09-08-2005, 12:59 PM
(Does "Proust" have that many silent letters?):Smack: http://www.bartleby.com/61/4/P0620400.html

I think you better resubmit, poetinahat, before that line becomes null and void.