Limericks Live!

"My dog ate my homework," said John.
Now I'm not sure I belong
In this really odd group
Take me back to F-Troop
Before they notice I'm gone

I was sitting by the shore

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I really adore

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone

I'm confused by the meter on this one. As per reph's post, a limerick should adhere to a particular meter.

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=282199&postcount=381

Even if we experiment on this one and start with seven beats, the second line throws if off with eight.

Could I propose:

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I adore (first beat implied)
Our chaperone
went off alone

Meaney said:

I'm confused by the meter on this one. As per reph's post, a limerick should adhere to a particular meter.

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=282199&postcount=381

Even if we experiment on this one and start with seven beats, the second line throws if off with eight.

Could I propose:

I was sitting by the shore
With someone I adore (first beat implied)
Our chaperone
went off alone

Click to expand...

Or...

I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own

Meaney, the first line indeed doesn't have limerick meter, but your proposed replacement doesn't have it, either. Limericks go da-DA-da da DA-da, three beats to the bar, like waltz rhythm, not da-DA da-DA or DA-da DA-da. poetinahat's fix works.

I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own
And thereby allowed me to score.

It's time to sign up at a gym

reph said:

Meaney, the first line indeed doesn't have limerick meter, but your proposed replacement doesn't have it, either. Limericks go da-DA-da da DA-da, three beats to the bar, like waltz rhythm, not da-DA da-DA or DA-da DA-da. poetinahat's fix works.

Click to expand...

Yes, I know it doesn't have a limerick meter. I was humouring the experiment.


I sat on a rock by the shore
With someone I really adore
When our (hot) chaperone
walked off on her own
And thereby allowed me to score.

It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim

It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet

It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet
(It can't hurt to try it)

It's time to sign up at a gym
My belly is over the brim
Maybe I'll diet
(It can't hurt to try it)
From now on, my milk will be skim!

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
Help me, I'm blind

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
"Help me, I'm blind!"
(for their heads really shined)

When Gandhi met Gavin McLeod
The glare from their scalps drew a crowd
"Help me, I'm blind!"
(for their heads really shined)
No car salesman's jacket's so loud.

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids
and my husband forbids

Oh, don't let me buy one more knickknack
My home's overflowing with bric-a-brac.
I can't find my kids
and my husband forbids
crystalware, so I'm drinking a six-pack

The road from Calcutta to Delhi

The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly

The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle

The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle

The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle
And a smashed jar of green apple jelly.

The trip home from Pheonix to Dallas

The road from Calcutta to Delhi
Which is always quite busy and smelly,
has a hole in the middle
Where I found a fiddle
And a smashed jar of green apple jelly.
______________________________________

The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,

The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,
who bored me tears

The trip home from Phoenix to Dallas
sitting next to a woman named Alice,
who bored me tears
recounting her fears