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donroc
05-12-2008, 08:44 PM
A vampire who could not abide blood
Had his coffin engulfed in black mud
He refused a transfusion
And instead drank some juice in

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 09:04 PM
A vampire who could not abide blood
Had his coffin engulfed in black mud
He refused a transfusion
And instead drank some juice in
A skull while awaiting the flood.

Then getting back into his coffin

Woof
05-12-2008, 09:56 PM
Then getting back into his coffin
He ate a blueberry muffin

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 09:59 PM
Then getting back into his coffin
He ate a blueberry muffin
On which he did choke

Woof
05-12-2008, 10:02 PM
Then getting back into his coffin
He ate a blueberry muffin
On which he did choke
And then promptly croak

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 10:08 PM
Then getting back into his coffin
He ate a blueberry muffin
On which he did choke
And then promptly croak
Becoming his very own stuffing.

I'm sorely in need of a drink

Woof
05-12-2008, 10:12 PM
I'm sorely in need of a drink
As I teeter close to the brink

Autodidact
05-12-2008, 11:53 PM
I'm sorely in need of a drink
As I teeter close to the brink.
The more I look down

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 11:58 PM
I'm sorely in need of a drink
As I teeter close to the brink.
The more I look down
The greater my frown

Nymtoc
05-13-2008, 12:27 AM
I'm sorely in need of a drink
As I teeter close to the brink.
The more I look down
The greater my frown.
How did I end up here in the clink?

:(

A leprechaun moved to Australia

Woof
05-13-2008, 12:34 AM
A leprechaun moved to Australia
With a load of paraphernalia

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 01:01 AM
A leprechaun moved to Australia
With a load of paraphernalia
No pommies in sight

Nymtoc
05-13-2008, 01:10 AM
A leprechaun moved to Australia
With a load of paraphernalia
No pommies in sight,
He said, "Well, awright!

Autodidact
05-13-2008, 02:27 AM
A leprechaun moved to Australia
With a load of paraphernalia
with scrimshaw and doo-dads,

Matera the Mad
05-13-2008, 10:08 AM
erm...

backs off to let the dust settle again

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 03:20 PM
A leprechaun moved to Australia
With a load of paraphernalia
No pommies in sight,
He said, "Well, awright!
I better sit down and email yer!"

A writer who spent hours translating

Woof
05-13-2008, 03:55 PM
A writer who spent hours translating
A Russian tale about bear baiting

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 04:03 PM
A writer who spent hours translating
A Russian tale about bear baiting
Was suddenly flummoxed

Woof
05-13-2008, 04:07 PM
A writer who spent hours translating
A Russian tale about bear baiting
Was suddenly flummoxed
And totally out foxed

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 04:09 PM
A writer who spent hours translating
A Russian tale about bear baiting
Was suddenly flummoxed
And totally out foxed
Requiring some defenestrating.

I'm thinking of having some lunch

Woof
05-13-2008, 04:13 PM
I'm thinking of having some lunch
Something light to nibble and munch

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 06:43 PM
I'm thinking of having some lunch
Something light to nibble and munch
Some veggies or salad

talkwrite
05-13-2008, 09:32 PM
I'm thinking of having some lunch
Something light to nibble and munch
Some veggies or salad
Linguine and shallots

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 09:37 PM
I'm thinking of having some lunch
Something light to nibble and munch
Some veggies or salad
Linguine and shallots
And juicy black grapes by the bunch.

But now I shall open some wine

talkwrite
05-13-2008, 09:43 PM
But now I shall open some wine
Just to get me through the next line

oneblindmouse
05-13-2008, 09:45 PM
But now I shall open some wine
Just to get me through the next line
The sound of a cork

Autodidact
05-13-2008, 11:15 PM
But now I shall open some wine
Just to get me through the next line
The sound of a cork
Unnh, it takes some torque

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 12:29 AM
But now I shall open some wine
Just to get me through the next line
The sound of a cork
Unnh, it takes some torque
Oooh, the words are flowing just fine.

A misting Spring rain is falling

Woof
05-14-2008, 12:40 AM
A misting Spring rain is falling
The ducks and the geese are calling

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 01:10 AM
A misting Spring rain is falling
The ducks and the geese are calling
Thoughts float to Brazil

Woof
05-14-2008, 01:12 AM
A misting Spring rain is falling
The ducks and the geese are calling
Thoughts float to Brazil
Ants crawl up a hill

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 01:26 AM
A misting Spring rain is falling
The ducks and the geese are calling
Thoughts float to Brazil
Ants crawl up a hill
Woof, sometimes you are appalling.

Dick Cheney passed out at the pump

Autodidact
05-14-2008, 01:38 AM
Dick Cheney passed out at the pump
Someone asked, "What is this lump?"

Woof
05-14-2008, 02:17 AM
Dick Cheney passed out at the pump
Someone asked, "What is this lump?"
"He's just full of gas

StephanieFox
05-14-2008, 03:26 AM
Dick Cheney passed out at the pump
Someone asked, "What is this lump?"
"He's just full of gas,
and a cold-blodded ass,

Nymtoc
05-14-2008, 05:52 AM
Dick Cheney passed out at the pump
Someone asked, "What is this lump?"
"He's just full of gas,
and a cold-blodded ass,
And that man he shot? He's in the dump."

:D

At midnight on midsummer's eve

StephanieFox
05-14-2008, 06:04 AM
At midnight on midsummer's eve
Sacred magick the witches still weave.

Matera the Mad
05-14-2008, 07:37 AM
At midnight on midsummer's eve
Sacred magick the witches still weave.
With cauldron and flame,

oneblindmouse
05-14-2008, 12:53 PM
At midnight on midsummer's eve
Sacred magick the witches still weave.
With cauldron and flame,
The spirits reclaim

Sir_Nigel
05-14-2008, 02:37 PM
At midnight on midsummer's eve
Sacred magick the witches still weave.
With cauldron and flame,
The spirits reclaim
They have a quick shindig then leave.




They say he’s not right in the head

Woof
05-14-2008, 04:22 PM
They say he’s not right in the head
And he keeps a live python in bed

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 08:06 PM
They say he’s not right in the head
And he keeps a live python in bed
A Jeopardy! fan

Nymtoc
05-14-2008, 08:07 PM
They say he’s not right in the head
And he keeps a live python in bed
A Jeopardy! fan
A Renaissance man

Autodidact
05-14-2008, 08:08 PM
They say he’s not right in the head
And he keeps a live python in bed
A Jeopardy! fan
and is seeking a ban

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 08:45 PM
They say he’s not right in the head
And he keeps a live python in bed
A Jeopardy! fan
and is seeking a ban
on seagulls not being fed.

A gardener tore down a skyscraper

HeronW
05-14-2008, 08:57 PM
A gardener tore down a skyscraper
Did it as a April Fool's caper

oneblindmouse
05-14-2008, 09:26 PM
A gardener tore down a skyscraper
Did it as a April Fool's caper
No Superman, he

Woof
05-14-2008, 09:30 PM
A gardener tore down a skyscraper
Did it as a April Fool's caper
No Superman, he
He's as weak as a flea

oneblindmouse
05-14-2008, 09:37 PM
A gardener tore down a skyscraper
Did it as a April Fool's caper
No Superman, he
He's as weak as a flea
But keen to join up with his maker.

My muse has gone off in a huff

Woof
05-14-2008, 09:52 PM
My muse has gone off in a huff
How rude and offensive and gruff!

oneblindmouse
05-14-2008, 10:07 PM
My muse has gone off in a huff
How rude and offensive and gruff!
I'm left in the lurch

donroc
05-14-2008, 10:46 PM
My muse has gone off in a huff
How rude and offensive and gruff!
I'm left in the lurch
Well off my perch

talkwrite
05-14-2008, 11:05 PM
My muse has gone off in a huff
How rude and offensive and gruff!
I'm left in the lurch
Well off my perch
And with no drafts not even rough.

My villain decided to come clean

Autodidact
05-15-2008, 12:43 AM
My villain decided to come clean
"I'm meek. I drink Ovaltine."

HeronW
05-15-2008, 02:00 AM
My villain decided to come clean
"I'm meek. I drink Ovaltine."
I no longer torture

Autodidact
05-15-2008, 02:19 AM
My villain decided to come clean
"I'm meek. I drink Ovaltine.
I no longer torture,
or burn or scorch or

otterman
05-15-2008, 03:22 AM
My villain decided to come clean
"I'm meek. I drink Ovaltine.
I no longer torture,
or burn or scorch or
do anything remotely obscene."


My poodle has lost all his hair,

donroc
05-15-2008, 03:28 AM
My poodle has lost all his hair,
And with the ladies his debonaire flair

Autodidact
05-15-2008, 06:15 AM
My poodle has lost all his hair,
And with the ladies his debonaire flair.
They turn up their noses

Matera the Mad
05-15-2008, 07:24 AM
My poodle has lost all his hair,
And with the ladies his debonaire flair.
They turn up their noses
And pee on the roses

Pthom
05-15-2008, 10:23 AM
My poodle has lost all his hair,
And with the ladies his debonaire flair.
They turn up their noses
And pee on the roses
A dog's job, oh jeez, I swear!

:D
There once was a hairless, nude poodle...

oneblindmouse
05-15-2008, 11:27 AM
There once was a hairless, nude poodle
that ate for its lunch one long noodle

HeronW
05-15-2008, 12:56 PM
There once was a hairless, nude poodle
that ate for its lunch one long noodle
it curled over his nose

oneblindmouse
05-15-2008, 12:57 PM
There once was a hairless, nude poodle
that ate for its lunch one long noodle
it curled over his nose
then down to its toes

Autodidact
05-15-2008, 07:32 PM
There once was a hairless, nude poodle
that ate for its lunch one long noodle
it curled over his nose
then down to its toes
For dessert she had a strudel.


Gas prices just keep on rising

Pthom
05-15-2008, 11:18 PM
Gas prices just keep on rising
A hassle I can't help despising.

Woof
05-15-2008, 11:22 PM
Gas prices just keep on rising
A hassle I help despising.
The trouble with oil

Nymtoc
05-16-2008, 01:13 AM
Gas prices just keep on rising
A hassle I can't help despising.
The trouble with oil
Just makes me recoil

Autodidact
05-16-2008, 01:34 AM
Gas prices just keep on rising
A hassle I can't help despising.
The trouble with oil
Just makes me recoil.
My vehicle I'll be downsizing.



Oneblindmouse said to Nymtoc one day

talkwrite
05-16-2008, 02:22 AM
Oneblindmouse said to Nymtoc one day
"Where did you learn to write that grand way"?

Autodidact
05-16-2008, 07:12 AM
Oneblindmouse said to Nymtoc one day
"Where did you learn to write that grand way"?
He replied, "It's as naught

Matera the Mad
05-16-2008, 07:30 AM
Oneblindmouse said to Nymtoc one day
"Where did you learn to write that grand way"?
He replied, "It's as naught,
I just do what I ought,

Nymtoc
05-16-2008, 08:38 AM
Oneblindmouse said to Nymtoc one day
"Where did you learn to write that grand way"?
He replied, "It's as naught,
I just do what I ought,
And say what my muse tells me to say."

:D

Autodidact and Talkwrite decided

oneblindmouse
05-16-2008, 12:35 PM
Autodidact and Talkwrite decided
That Nymtoc and Mouse were misguided

Autodidact
05-16-2008, 07:43 PM
Autodidact and Talkwrite decided
That Nymtoc and Mouse were misguided,
"You think that's good prose?

donroc
05-16-2008, 08:04 PM
Autodidact and Talkwrite decided
That Nymtoc and Mouse were misguided,
"You think that's good prose?
Quien Sabe? Who knows?

oneblindmouse
05-16-2008, 09:25 PM
Autodidact and Talkwrite decided
That Nymtoc and Mouse were misguided,
"You think that's good prose?"
"Quien Sabe? Who knows?"
Don roc'd as the others confided.

The liberties some posters take

talkwrite
05-16-2008, 09:29 PM
The liberties some posters take
Truly blissful my day they make

oneblindmouse
05-16-2008, 09:45 PM
The liberties some posters take
Truly blissful my day they make
And those who like lurking

Nymtoc
05-16-2008, 10:05 PM
The liberties some posters take
Truly blissful my day they make
And those who like lurking,
Who get off on smirking,

oneblindmouse
05-16-2008, 10:09 PM
The liberties some posters take
Truly blissful my day they make
And those who like lurking,
Who get off on smirking,
Do definitely take the cake.

My article just isn't growing

Woof
05-16-2008, 11:21 PM
My article just isn't growing
And I'm not exactly crowing

HeronW
05-16-2008, 11:46 PM
My article just isn't growing
And I'm not exactly crowing
makes me pull out my hair

Woof
05-16-2008, 11:51 PM
My article just isn't growing
And I'm not exactly crowing
makes me pull out my hair
and burn my underwear

donroc
05-17-2008, 12:15 AM
My article just isn't growing
And I'm not exactly crowing
makes me pull out my hair
and burn my underwear
My God! My privates are showing!

My fifth draft sucks worse than the fourth

Woof
05-17-2008, 12:19 AM
My fifth draft sucks worse than the fourth
I shall give up all writing henceforth

Pthom
05-17-2008, 01:07 AM
My fifth draft sucks worse than the fourth
I shall give up all writing henceforth
But just one more line

Woof
05-17-2008, 01:17 AM
My fifth draft sucks worse than the fourth
I shall give up all writing henceforth
But just one more line
But first one more wine

otterman
05-17-2008, 01:17 AM
My fifth draft sucks worse than the fourth
I shall give up all writing henceforth
But just one more line
But first one more wine
So ends Equator of the North


Norman was a writer by trade,

Autodidact
05-17-2008, 01:54 AM
Norman was a writer by trade,
prose was the product he made,

Matera the Mad
05-17-2008, 06:38 AM
Norman was a writer by trade,
prose was the product he made.
He spun a fine tale

oneblindmouse
05-17-2008, 11:19 AM
Norman was a writer by trade,
prose was the product he made.
He spun a fine tale
When watered with ale

donroc
05-17-2008, 02:14 PM
Norman was a writer by trade,
prose was the product he made.
He spun a fine tale
When watered with ale
But failed when he drank lemonade.

An urge to pass gas while he danced

HeronW
05-17-2008, 04:47 PM
An urge to pass gas while he danced
invaded the Comte de Gran's pants

donroc
05-17-2008, 05:58 PM
An urge to pass gas while he danced
invaded the Comte de Gran's pants
He squeezed his buns tightly

Woof
05-17-2008, 06:49 PM
An urge to pass gas while he danced
invaded the Comte de Gran's pants
He squeezed his buns tightly
And broke wind politely

Nymtoc
05-17-2008, 10:17 PM
An urge to pass gas while he danced
invaded the Comte de Gran's pants
He squeezed his buns tightly
And broke wind politely
While sly Madame Pompadour glanced.

:rolleyes:

When Ahab caught sight of his nemesis

Matera the Mad
05-18-2008, 08:46 AM
When Ahab caught sight of his nemesis,
He did not react with an emesis.

StephanieFox
05-18-2008, 08:55 AM
When Ahab caught sight of his nemesis,
He did not react with an emesis.
But, missing his leg,

Matera the Mad
05-18-2008, 08:57 AM
When Ahab caught sight of his nemesis,
He did not react with an emesis.
But, missing his leg,
slipped on a gull's egg,

Nymtoc
05-18-2008, 08:58 PM
When Ahab caught sight of his nemesis,
He did not react with an emesis.
But, missing his leg,
slipped on a gull's egg,
Which is why that whole deckful of phlegm is his.
:e2thud:

There once was a damsel called Dora

donroc
05-18-2008, 10:25 PM
There once was a damsel called Dora
Who memorized the entire Torah

otterman
05-19-2008, 01:44 AM
There once was a damsel called Dora
Who memorized the entire Torah
She explored God's words,

Matera the Mad
05-19-2008, 06:31 AM
There once was a damsel called Dora
Who memorized the entire Torah
She explored God's words,
Like other good nerds,

Woof
05-19-2008, 06:48 AM
There once was a damsel called Dora
Who memorized the entire Torah
She explored God's words,
Like other good nerds,
And ended up dancing the Hora.


A writer was bloated on beer

talkwrite
05-19-2008, 06:55 PM
A writer was bloated on beer
Confusing ale with good cheer

Autodidact
05-19-2008, 08:01 PM
A writer was bloated on beer
Confusing ale with good cheer,
he needed to pee

donroc
05-19-2008, 08:07 PM
A writer was bloated on beer
Confusing ale with good cheer,
he needed to pee
But the john was not free

Nymtoc
05-19-2008, 09:31 PM
A writer was bloated on beer
Confusing ale with good cheer,
he needed to pee
But the john was not free,
Which explains the wet spot you see here.

:rolleyes:

On a faraway planet called Mongo

otterman
05-19-2008, 09:33 PM
On a faraway planet called Mongo
A musical boy played his bongo

Autodidact
05-19-2008, 10:00 PM
On a faraway planet called Mongo
A musical boy played his bongo
He used all six hands,

Woof
05-20-2008, 12:02 AM
On a faraway planet called Mongo
A musical boy played his bongo
He used all six hands,
To play in his pants

talkwrite
05-20-2008, 01:53 AM
On a faraway planet called Mongo
A musical boy played his bongo
He used all six hands,
To play in his pants
While wondering, Just how does this song go?

A barkeep was asked for advice

HeronW
05-20-2008, 03:18 AM
A barkeep was asked for advice
quoth he, 'If you can't say anything nice...'

Matera the Mad
05-20-2008, 06:33 AM
A barkeep was asked for advice
quoth he, 'If you can't say anything nice...
Then keep your trap shut

Woof
05-20-2008, 05:03 PM
A barkeep was asked for advice
quoth he, 'If you can't say anything nice...
Then keep your trap shut
And do not talk smut

donroc
05-20-2008, 05:28 PM
A barkeep was asked for advice
quoth he, 'If you can't say anything nice...
Then keep your trap shut
And do not talk smut
But you may play with me poker dice.

A poodle named Fifi La Rue

Woof
05-20-2008, 05:36 PM
A poodle named Fifi La Rue
Was bored and had nothing to chew

talkwrite
05-20-2008, 07:10 PM
A poodle named Fifi La Rue
Was bored and had nothing to chew
Silk rugs she found bland

Nymtoc
05-20-2008, 08:33 PM
A poodle named Fifi La Rue
Was bored and had nothing to chew
Silk rugs she found bland,
Kibbles were the wrong brand

donroc
05-20-2008, 08:42 PM
A poodle named Fifi La Rue
Was bored and had nothing to chew
Silk rugs she found bland,
Kibbles were the wrong brand
But Ferragamo had the best shoe.

A sinister Siamese cat

Autodidact
05-20-2008, 08:59 PM
A sinister Siamese cat
spied an innocent rat

Woof
05-20-2008, 10:59 PM
A sinister Siamese cat
spied an innocent rat
The cat showed her fangs

donroc
05-20-2008, 11:31 PM
A sinister Siamese cat
spied an innocent rat
The cat showed her fangs
The rat called his gangs

talkwrite
05-21-2008, 01:24 AM
A sinister Siamese cat
spied an innocent rat
The cat showed her fangs
The rat called his gangs
Voilà! the West Side Story spat

A penguin was determined to fly

Matera the Mad
05-21-2008, 04:19 AM
A penguin was determined to fly.
He said, "No ground-bird am I!"

Autodidact
05-21-2008, 06:55 PM
A penguin was determined to fly.
He said, "No ground-bird am I!"
he called SouthWest Air

MsK
05-21-2008, 07:15 PM
A penguin was determined to fly.
He said, "No ground-bird am I!"
he called SouthWest Air
And asked, "What's the fare?"

talkwrite
05-21-2008, 07:42 PM
A penguin was determined to fly.
He said, "No ground-bird am I!"
he called Southwest Air
And asked, "What's the fare?"
No frills but it's as high as the sky.

A genie got tired of wishes

Woof
05-21-2008, 10:30 PM
A genie got tired of wishes
And washing his Master's dishes

Autodidact
05-21-2008, 11:39 PM
A genie got tired of wishes
And washing his Master's dishes.
He rubbed his own lamp

talkwrite
05-22-2008, 01:48 AM
A genie got tired of wishes
And washing his Master's dishes.
He rubbed his own lamp
And got a leg cramp

donroc
05-22-2008, 02:36 AM
A genie got tired of wishes
And washing his Master's dishes.
He rubbed his own lamp
And got a leg cramp
With pain exceedingly vicious.

A ribald old bawd from Bristol

otterman
05-22-2008, 03:38 AM
A ribald old bawd from Bristol
Accidentally sat on her pistol

donroc
05-22-2008, 03:59 AM
A ribald old bawd from Bristol
Accidentally sat on her pistol
A discharge was heard

otterman
05-22-2008, 04:18 AM
A ribald old bawd from Bristol
Accidentally sat on her pistol
A discharge was heard
Her vision soon blurred

Matera the Mad
05-22-2008, 04:25 AM
A ribald old bawd from Bristol
Accidentally sat on her pistol
A discharge was heard
Her vision soon blurred
And she said, "Migawd, there goes my bustle!"

A woolly old ram in a meadow

MsK
05-22-2008, 05:54 AM
A woolly old ram in a meadow
Who'd lived half his life in a ghetto

Matera the Mad
05-22-2008, 07:59 AM
A woolly old ram in a meadow
Who'd lived half his life in a ghetto
Said, "How can I sleep

Woof
05-22-2008, 05:12 PM
A woolly old ram in a meadow
Who'd lived half his life in a ghetto
Said, "How can I sleep
When there's noisy sheep

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 09:37 PM
A woolly old ram in a meadow
Who'd lived half his life in a ghetto
Said, "How can I sleep
When there's noisy sheep
Plus that wretched goat singing falsetto?"

:Guitar:

When Marjorie moved to Montana

Autodidact
05-22-2008, 09:58 PM
When Marjorie moved to Montana
She was joyous at leaving Fontana

MsK
05-22-2008, 10:30 PM
When Marjorie moved to Montana
She was joyous at leaving Fontana
She loved the fresh air

donroc
05-22-2008, 10:33 PM
When Marjorie moved to Montana
She was joyous at leaving Fontana
She loved the fresh air
Except for the lair

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 10:37 PM
When Marjorie moved to Montana
She was joyous at leaving Fontana
She loved the fresh air
Except for the lair
Of the sinister Banana-fana.

:rolleyes:

To make a successful martini

donroc
05-22-2008, 10:41 PM
To make a successful martini
Never stir with a flaccid zucchini

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 10:47 PM
To make a successful martini
Never stir with a flaccid zucchini.
Instead, gently shake

donroc
05-22-2008, 10:56 PM
To make a successful martini
Never stir with a flaccid zucchini.
Instead, gently shake
Like that 007 rake

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 11:18 PM
To make a successful martini
Never stir with a flaccid zucchini.
Instead, gently shake
Like that 007 rake
And serve casually, whistling Puccini.

;)

When Wellington challenged old Nappy

donroc
05-22-2008, 11:25 PM
When Wellington challenged old Nappy
It made the Prussians quite happy

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 11:30 PM
When Wellington challenged old Nappy
It made the Prussians quite happy.
He charged with his horses

donroc
05-22-2008, 11:31 PM
When Wellington challenged old Nappy
It made the Prussians quite happy.
He charged with his horses
And superior forces

Nymtoc
05-22-2008, 11:42 PM
When Wellington challenged old Nappy
It made the Prussians quite happy.
He charged with his horses
And superior forces,
While Nap's plan was totally crappy.

:D

From Podunk to Paris to Prague

Woof
05-23-2008, 12:03 AM
From Podunk to Paris to Prague
A Countess toured with her frog

Nymtoc
05-23-2008, 12:29 AM
From Podunk to Paris to Prague
A Countess toured with her frog.
It sang Papageno

donroc
05-23-2008, 12:31 AM
From Podunk to Paris to Prague
A Countess toured with her frog.
It sang Papageno
In Vegas and Reno

Autodidact
05-23-2008, 03:45 AM
From Podunk to Paris to Prague
A Countess toured with her frog.
It sang Papageno
In Vegas and Reno
and toasted her with some hot grog.


When crafting a limerick it's best

Pthom
05-23-2008, 04:43 AM
When crafting a limerick it's best
To refrain from thought, you know, lest...

Matera the Mad
05-23-2008, 06:28 AM
When crafting a limerick it's best
To refrain from thought, you know, lest
You put a great strain

Pthom
05-23-2008, 07:46 AM
When crafting a limerick it's best
To refrain from thought, you know, lest
You put a great strain
On your poor li'l pea brain

Matera the Mad
05-23-2008, 09:41 AM
When crafting a limerick it's best
To refrain from thought, you know, lest
You put a great strain
On your poor li'l pea brain,
And end up the butt of the jest.

If ever a person had problems

Nymtoc
05-23-2008, 11:55 PM
If ever a person had problems
It was Bob, who kept gobbling corn coblems

oneblindmouse
05-24-2008, 12:28 AM
If ever a person had problems
It was Bob, who kept gobbling corn coblems
That grew so darned big

Autodidact
05-24-2008, 02:11 AM
If ever a person had problems
they might cry, they might moan, they might sob them

Matera the Mad
05-24-2008, 05:31 AM
hop...skip...
If ever a person had problems
It was Bob, who kept gobbling corn coblems
That grew so darned big
He soon looked like a pig


go, Nymtoc, go!

Nymtoc
05-24-2008, 05:55 AM
[OK, Matera, here goes.]

If ever a person had problems
It was Bob, who kept gobbling corn coblems
That grew so darned big
He soon looked like a pig
Then exploded in thousands of bloblems.

:D

"Show me the money," said Jerry.

Matera the Mad
05-24-2008, 06:01 AM
LOL

"Show me the money," said Jerry.
"Oh no, show me yours first;" said Harry.

donroc
05-24-2008, 03:22 PM
"Show me the money," said Jerry.
"Oh no, show me yours first;" said Harry.
Jerry showed him his wad

HeronW
05-24-2008, 04:21 PM
"Show me the money," said Jerry.
"Oh no, show me yours first;" said Harry.
Jerry showed him his wad
Quoth Harry "Oh my GAWD!"

Matera the Mad
05-25-2008, 02:17 AM
"Show me the money," said Jerry.
"Oh no, show me yours first;" said Harry.
Jerry showed him his wad
Quoth Harry "Oh my GAWD!
If you were a woman, we'd marry!"

There was this young novelist, Lester,

otterman
05-25-2008, 04:13 AM
There was this young novelist, Lester,
Every agent he found, he would pester

Meaney
05-26-2008, 05:02 PM
There was this young novelist, Lester,
Every agent he found, he would pester.
But writing in blood

Nymtoc
05-26-2008, 09:41 PM
There was this young novelist, Lester,
Every agent he found, he would pester.
But writing in blood
Exhausted the stud

oneblindmouse
05-26-2008, 09:53 PM
There was this young novelist, Lester,
Every agent he found, he would pester.
But writing in blood
Exhausted the stud
Who also worked as the king's jester.

A bandit who feared for his life

Nymtoc
05-26-2008, 10:22 PM
A bandit who feared for his life
Decided to find him a wife

oneblindmouse
05-26-2008, 10:32 PM
A bandit who feared for his life
Decided to find him a wife.
So he rode into town

Woof
05-27-2008, 02:44 AM
A bandit who feared for his life
Decided to find him a wife.
So he rode into town
With a see-through gown

Nymtoc
05-27-2008, 02:50 AM
A bandit who feared for his life
Decided to find him a wife.
So he rode into town
With a see-through gown,
Which caused him a good deal of strife.

:snoopy:

Two kumquats decided to wed

donroc
05-27-2008, 02:50 AM
A bandit who feared for his life
Decided to find him a wife.
So he rode into town
With a see-through gown
And the girls called his member a fife.

A jester told a tale in bad taste

Matera the Mad
05-27-2008, 03:27 AM
A jester told a tale in bad taste
That caused him to leave in great haste.

donroc
05-27-2008, 05:13 AM
A jester told a tale in bad taste
That caused him to leave in great haste.
The Queen was outraged

Matera the Mad
05-27-2008, 07:00 AM
A jester told a tale in bad taste
That caused him to leave in great haste.
The Queen was outraged,
For she'd been upstaged

Autodidact
05-27-2008, 07:26 PM
A jester told a tale in bad taste
That caused him to leave in great haste.
The Queen was outraged,
For she'd been upstaged.
Another good joke gone to waste.


The flowers that bloom in the Spring

talkwrite
05-27-2008, 08:11 PM
A jester told a tale in bad taste
That caused him to leave in great haste.
The Queen was outraged,
For she'd been upstaged.
Another good joke gone to waste.


The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing

Autodidact
05-28-2008, 02:26 AM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,

Woof
05-28-2008, 02:39 AM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,
Inhaling each harsh stem

Matera the Mad
05-28-2008, 06:27 AM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,
Inhaling each harsh stem,
But best take the seeds out and fling.


A hashish-befuddled young poet

Autodidact
05-28-2008, 07:12 AM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,
Inhaling each harsh stem [not a rhyme]
because when you toke them,

Woof
05-28-2008, 04:24 PM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,
Inhaling each harsh stem [not a rhyme]
because when you toke them,[not an original rhyme, unlike the previous line]

talkwrite
05-28-2008, 07:57 PM
The flowers that bloom in the Spring
cause dreams that are tantalizing,
It's best if you smoke them,
Inhaling each harsh stem [not a rhyme]
because when you toke them,[not an original rhyme, unlike the previous line]
The words that don't rhyme you just sing.

Abe Lincoln once ran out of words

Woof
05-29-2008, 02:59 AM
Abe Lincoln once ran out of words
So he started to tweet like the birds

otterman
05-29-2008, 03:01 AM
Abe Lincoln once ran out of words
So he started to tweet like the birds
Cats gathered around

Matera the Mad
05-29-2008, 04:43 AM
Abe Lincoln once ran out of words
So he started to tweet like the birds
Cats gathered around
And Honest Abe found

StephanieFox
05-29-2008, 05:36 AM
Abe Lincoln once ran out of words
So he started to tweet like the birds
Cats gathered around
And Honest Abe found
He did best if he flatted his thirds.


A cabbage makes quite a good soup

Sempine
05-29-2008, 06:09 AM
A cabbage makes quite a good soup
And rarely does one in our group
Not empty his bowl

Matera the Mad
05-29-2008, 06:17 AM
A cabbage makes quite a good soup
And rarely does one in our group
Not empty his bowl;
But alas, one poor soul

Woof
05-29-2008, 06:59 AM
A cabbage makes quite a good soup
And rarely does one in our group
Not empty his bowl;
But alas, one poor soul
Thinks cabbage tastes something like poop.


A swan who was scared to go swimming

Sempine
05-29-2008, 07:16 AM
A swan who was scared to go swimming
Looked out at a lake that was brimming
With turtles and snakes

Matera the Mad
05-29-2008, 08:25 AM
A swan who was scared to go swimming
Looked out at a lake that was brimming
With turtles and snakes.
Said her brother, "They're fakes!"

Woof
05-29-2008, 04:49 PM
A swan who was scared to go swimming
Looked out at a lake that was brimming
With turtles and snakes.
Said her brother, "They're fakes!"
"What's more, each one is a lemming."



There once was a pirate from France

Nymtoc
05-29-2008, 05:11 PM
There once was a pirate from France
Who longed to succeed in la danse.

Woof
05-29-2008, 05:20 PM
There once was a pirate from France
Who longed to succeed in la danse.
So he bought a tutu

talkwrite
05-29-2008, 07:42 PM
There once was a pirate from France
Who longed to succeed in la danse.
So he bought a tutu
And dressed up all fru-fru

donroc
05-29-2008, 07:50 PM
There once was a pirate from France
Who longed to succeed in la danse.
So he bought a tutu
And dressed up all fru-fru
And won first prize as best nance.

A Viking who lacked the talent to navigate

talkwrite
05-30-2008, 12:05 AM
A Viking who lacked the talent to navigate
nor rocking ships could he tolerate

Matera the Mad
05-30-2008, 03:56 AM
A Viking who lacked the talent to navigate
nor rocking ships could he tolerate.
When he went a-viking,

Woof
05-30-2008, 04:04 PM
A Viking who lacked the talent to navigate
nor rocking ships could he tolerate.
When he went a-viking,
He wished he were hiking

talkwrite
05-30-2008, 06:52 PM
A Viking who lacked the talent to navigate
nor rocking ships could he tolerate.
When he went a-viking,
He wished he were hiking
Where he could just sit and meditate.

A Buddhist monk went on Survivor

Autodidact
05-30-2008, 06:56 PM
A Buddhist monk went on Survivor
That he'd win I bet a fiver,

talkwrite
05-30-2008, 07:02 PM
A Buddhist monk went on Survivor
That he'd win I bet a fiver,
He didn't eat much

Woof
05-31-2008, 01:03 AM
A Buddhist monk went on Survivor
That he'd win I bet a fiver,
He didn't eat much
And only spoke Dutch

otterman
05-31-2008, 03:35 AM
A Buddhist monk went on Survivor
That he'd win I bet a fiver,
He didn't eat much
And only spoke Dutch
But clever as Angus Macgiver.


A tourist got lost in New York

Matera the Mad
05-31-2008, 04:28 AM
A tourist got lost in New York;
He felt like a virtual dork.

Woof
05-31-2008, 04:57 PM
A tourist got lost in New York;
He felt like a virtual dork.
He went to the Met

Sempine
05-31-2008, 07:11 PM
A tourist got lost in New York;
He felt like a virtual dork.
Wound up at the Met
Saw two friends from Tibet
Who told him, "Just follow that stork."

A glamorous gal from St. Paul

Nymtoc
06-01-2008, 02:17 AM
A glamorous gal from St. Paul
Decided to see Montreal

Matera the Mad
06-01-2008, 03:36 AM
A glamorous gal from St. Paul
Decided to see Montreal.
She brought her boyfriend

Woof
06-02-2008, 12:27 AM
A glamorous gal from St. Paul
Decided to see Montreal.
She brought her boyfriend
Whose came from South Bend

MsK
06-02-2008, 06:04 AM
A glamorous gal from St. Paul
Decided to see Montreal.
She brought her boyfriend
Whose came from South Bend
And, together, they both had a ball

A cute little man in the city

Sempine
06-02-2008, 07:44 AM
A cute little man in the city
Thought I was quite charming and witty
He took me to dine

Matera the Mad
06-02-2008, 08:23 AM
A cute little man in the city
Thought I was quite charming and witty
He took me to dine
But he fed me a line

talkwrite
06-02-2008, 05:47 PM
A cute little man in the city
Thought I was quite charming and witty
He took me to dine
But he fed me a line
And now he sings with Conway Twitty

Puerto Rico asked to secede

Sempine
06-02-2008, 10:34 PM
Puerto Rico asked to secede
We sent them a fax of their deed

donroc
06-02-2008, 10:36 PM
Puerto Rico asked to secede
We sent them a fax of their deed
But Geraldo Rivera

Nymtoc
06-02-2008, 10:58 PM
Puerto Rico asked to secede
We sent them a fax of their deed
But Geraldo Rivera
said, "There's been an erra,

otterman
06-03-2008, 03:25 AM
Puerto Rico asked to secede
We sent them a fax of their deed
But Geraldo Rivera
said, "There's been an erra,
my notes say you're already freed."


King Kong stubbed his toe on a tree,

Sempine
06-03-2008, 05:13 AM
King Kong stubbed his toe on a tree,
His mother said, "Aw, let him be."
"Don't pamper that wimp."

Woof
06-03-2008, 06:12 AM
King Kong stubbed his toe on a tree,
His mother said, "Aw, let him be."
"Don't pamper that wimp."
"He's faking a limp."

Matera the Mad
06-03-2008, 06:20 AM
King Kong stubbed his toe on a tree,
His mother said, "Aw, let him be."
"Don't pamper that wimp.
He's faking a limp.
If he really got hurt, he'd tell me."


Ten men sat in a dugout canoe

Sir_Nigel
06-03-2008, 04:04 PM
Ten men sat in a dugout canoe
- a depraved and notorious crew

Woof
06-03-2008, 04:15 PM
Ten men sat in a dugout canoe
- a depraved and notorious crew
Their manners were crude

Sir_Nigel
06-03-2008, 04:56 PM
Ten men sat in a dugout canoe
- a depraved and notorious crew
Their manners were crude
And their cox downright rude

Woof
06-03-2008, 05:04 PM
Ten men sat in a dugout canoe
- a depraved and notorious crew
Their manners were crude
And their cox downright rude
And their swain was somewhat askew.


A woman without any shame

Sir_Nigel
06-03-2008, 05:43 PM
A woman without any shame
Found considerable internet fame

Woof
06-03-2008, 06:03 PM
A woman without any shame
Found considerable internet fame
She posted her pics

Sir_Nigel
06-03-2008, 06:24 PM
A woman without any shame
Found considerable internet fame
She posted her pics
Of her lewd party tricks

talkwrite
06-03-2008, 07:24 PM
A woman without any shame
Found considerable internet fame
She posted her pics
Of her lewd party tricks
But today's lurkers found them quite tame.

Bill Gates started a garden

oneblindmouse
06-03-2008, 11:10 PM
Bill Gates started a garden
Where Roses and Lilies did harden

EmilySC
06-04-2008, 06:11 AM
Bill Gates started a garden
Where Roses and Lilies did harden
Where Lilacs grew limp

Matera the Mad
06-04-2008, 06:25 AM
Bill Gates started a garden
Where Roses and Lilies did harden
Where Lilacs grew limp
And code-hacking chimp

donroc
06-04-2008, 06:34 AM
Bill Gates started a garden
Where Roses and Lilies did harden
Where Lilacs grew limp
And code-hacking chimp
At Shawshank made wealthy the warden.

A witty wizard from Westminster

Sempine
06-04-2008, 07:04 AM
A witty wizard from Westminster
Was casting a spell when he sensed her

Sir_Nigel
06-04-2008, 12:34 PM
A witty wizard from Westminster
Was casting a spell when he sensed her
It was the Wendy the Witch

PattiTheWicked
06-04-2008, 04:24 PM
A witty wizard from Westminster
Was casting a spell when he sensed her
It was the Wendy the Witch
a-scratchin' an itch

Woof
06-04-2008, 05:03 PM
A witty wizard from Westminster
Was casting a spell when he sensed her
It was the Wendy the Witch
a-scratchin' an itch
And cackling in a voice quite sinister.


A man who was traveling through time

Nymtoc
06-04-2008, 08:01 PM
A man who was traveling through time
said, "This journey is simply sublime!

Woof
06-04-2008, 11:01 PM
A man who was traveling through time
said, "This journey is simply sublime!
I've kissed Cleopatra

oneblindmouse
06-04-2008, 11:04 PM
A man who was traveling through time
said, "This journey is simply sublime!
I've kissed Cleopatra
And sung with Sinatra

Woof
06-04-2008, 11:10 PM
A man who was traveling through time
said, "This journey is simply sublime!
I've kissed Cleopatra
And sung with Sinatra
And watched Shakespeare writing a rhyme!"


A woman turned into a flea

donroc
06-04-2008, 11:17 PM
A woman turned into a flea
And feasted on Griffith's Aunt Bea