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Matera the Mad
04-19-2008, 06:58 AM
An actor with very bad teeth
Went out for a stroll on the heath
He was British, you see,
So he couldn't just flee

oneblindmouse
04-19-2008, 10:26 AM
An actor with very bad teeth
Went out for a stroll on the heath
He was British, you see,
So he couldn't just flee
And they gave him a jolly good wreath.

A sad-eyed old monk in Nepal

donroc
04-19-2008, 04:44 PM
A sad-eyed old monk in Nepal
Stepped in gunk best described as fecal,

oneblindmouse
04-19-2008, 06:40 PM
A sad-eyed old monk in Nepal
Stepped in gunk best described as fecal,
But being a Buddhist

Woof
04-19-2008, 06:48 PM
A sad-eyed old monk in Nepal
Stepped in gunk best described as fecal,
But being a Buddhist
And one of the shrewdest

HeronW
04-19-2008, 06:53 PM
A sad-eyed old monk in Nepal
Stepped in gunk best described as fecal,
But being a Buddhist
And one of the shrewdest
cussed, "Damnit! Don't karma beat all?"

A young floozie named Mimi LaRue

StephanieFox
04-19-2008, 08:11 PM
A young floozie named Mimi LaRue
Had a power drill, but just one screw

Woof
04-19-2008, 11:25 PM
A young floozie named Mimi LaRue
Had a power drill, but just one screw
She hired a mechanic

StephanieFox
04-20-2008, 01:47 AM
A young floozie named Mimi LaRue
Had a power drill, but just one screw
She hired a mechanic
And made that boy panic

HeronW
04-20-2008, 01:50 AM
A young floozie named Mimi LaRue
Had a power drill, but just one screw
She hired a mechanic
And made that boy panic
'Would you prefer I use superglue?'

A walrus perused the late paper

donroc
04-20-2008, 01:53 AM
A walrus perused the late paper
While honing his tusks with a shaper,

oneblindmouse
04-20-2008, 01:56 AM
A walrus perused the late paper
While honing his tusks with a shaper,
"Hey, Carpenter, look!

Horizon_eyes
04-20-2008, 05:28 AM
A walrus perused the late paper
While honing his tusks with a shaper,
"Hey, Carpenter, look!"
he said as he shook,

Nymtoc
04-20-2008, 07:38 AM
A walrus perused the late paper
While honing his tusks with a shaper,
"Hey, Carpenter, look!"
he said as he shook,
"The oysters have come for a caper!"

:D

No matter what planet you're from

Matera the Mad
04-20-2008, 07:39 AM
No matter what planet you're from,
There's always another so dumb


ratz -- I still like mine

A walrus perused the late paper
While honing his tusks with a shaper,
"Hey, Carpenter, look!"
he said as he shook,
with laughter, "George Bush, the goat raper!"

HeronW
04-21-2008, 12:44 AM
No matter what planet you're from,
There's always another so dumb
they'll vote for a putz

Kerr
04-21-2008, 01:36 AM
No matter what planet you're from,
There's always another so dumb
they'll vote for a putz
who's ruled by his lust

truelyana
04-21-2008, 01:38 AM
No matter what planet you're from,
There's always another so dumb
they'll vote for a putz
who's ruled by his lust
Who'll be forever controlling your thumb.

truelyana
04-21-2008, 03:13 AM
Only just found out, I'm next in line to start. :)

Whenever you hear a sound,

donroc
04-21-2008, 03:21 AM
Whenever you hear a sound,
And your heart begins to pound,

HeronW
04-21-2008, 03:38 AM
Whenever you hear a sound,
And your heart begins to pound,
your fingers go numb

Matera the Mad
04-21-2008, 07:48 AM
Whenever you hear a sound,
And your heart begins to pound,
your fingers go numb
your throat's struck dumb

HeronW
04-21-2008, 03:42 PM
Whenever you hear a sound,
And your heart begins to pound,
your fingers go numb
your throat's struck dumb
your creativity's run aground.

A flirtatious dugong called Mazie

Sir_Nigel
04-21-2008, 03:56 PM
A flirtatious dugong called Mazie
Met a squid who he fancied like crazy

rosebud1981
04-21-2008, 04:45 PM
A flirtatious dugong called Mazie
Met a squid who he fancied like crazy
Said he "Let's go back to my place"

Sir_Nigel
04-21-2008, 06:08 PM
A flirtatious dugong called Mazie
Met a squid who he fancied like crazy
Said he "Let's go back to my place,
you can sit on my face"

HeronW
04-21-2008, 08:15 PM
A flirtatious dugong called Mazie
Met a squid who he fancied like crazy
Said he "Let's go back to my place,
you can sit on my face"
"Oh let's just float, I'm feeling lazy."

A king known as Tyranosaurus

donroc
04-21-2008, 09:31 PM
A king known as Tyranosaurus
Whose long speeches easily bored us

Autodidact
04-21-2008, 09:34 PM
A king known as Tyranosaurus
Whose long speeches easily bored us
in the era cretaceous,

oneblindmouse
04-21-2008, 10:37 PM
A king known as Tyranosaurus
Whose long speeches easily bored us
in the era cretaceous,
was feeling flirtatious

donroc
04-21-2008, 11:26 PM
A king known as Tyranosaurus
Whose long speeches easily bored us
in the era cretaceous,
was feeling flirtatious
And recited love poems sonorous.

An old lush who loved Spanish brandy

Autodidact
04-21-2008, 11:39 PM
An old lush who loved Spanish brandy
would keep his flask of it handy,

talkwrite
04-22-2008, 02:22 AM
An old lush who loved Spanish brandy
would keep his flask of it handy,
Pondering, he'd sip

Autodidact
04-22-2008, 02:23 AM
An old lush who loved Spanish brandy
would keep his flask of it handy,
Pondering, he'd sip
should I guzzle, or drip?

Kerr
04-22-2008, 04:30 AM
An old lush who loved Spanish brandy
would keep his flask of it handy,
Pondering, he'd sip
should I guzzle, or drip?
Sorry Honey, it's just like candy.

Springtime the geese come a layin

Albedo of Zero
04-22-2008, 05:17 AM
Springtime the geese come a layin
and the skunks wake up and start sprayin

Nymtoc
04-22-2008, 05:45 AM
Springtime the geese come a layin
and the skunks wake up and start sprayin
The chiggers start bitin

donroc
04-22-2008, 05:53 AM
Springtime the geese come a layin
and the skunks wake up and start sprayin
The chiggers start bitin
So the lake looks invitin'

StephanieFox
04-22-2008, 05:59 AM
Springtime the geese come a layin'
and the skunks wake up and start sprayin'
The chiggers start bitin'
So the lake looks invitin'
I'm divin' right in, then I'm stayin'.




My deadline is coming up fast

Matera the Mad
04-22-2008, 08:15 AM
My deadline is coming up fast
I hope that the coffee will last

Horizon_eyes
04-22-2008, 08:46 AM
My deadline is coming up fast
I hope that the coffee will last
I've not slept a wink

talkwrite
04-22-2008, 06:15 PM
My deadline is coming up fast
I hope that the coffee will last
I've not slept a wink,
It's proof read, I think

donroc
04-22-2008, 06:26 PM
My deadline is coming up fast
I hope that the coffee will last
I've not slept a wink,
It's proof read, I think
But oops, I have misspelled Avast!

An archaeologist among the ruins of Karnak

Autodidact
04-22-2008, 07:23 PM
An archaeologist among the ruins of Karnak
bent over and injured her back,

Spell-it-out
04-22-2008, 08:39 PM
An archaeologist among the ruins of Karnak
bent over and injured her back,
But when a young man offered his hand,

Autodidact
04-22-2008, 09:13 PM
An archaeologist among the ruins of Karnak
bent over and injured her back,
But when a young man offered his hand,
she gently reminded him that the third and fourth line of a limerick should only have two beats throughout the land,

donroc
04-22-2008, 09:17 PM
An archaeologist among the ruins of Karnak
bent over and injured her back,
But when a young man offered his hand,
she gently reminded him that the third and fourth line of a limerick should only have two beats throughout the land,
Then told him he was a literary hack.

A grizzled old hunter from Maine,

Nymtoc
04-22-2008, 09:23 PM
A grizzled old hunter from Maine
Said, "Shoot the moose! He don't feel pain

Autodidact
04-22-2008, 09:36 PM
A grizzled old hunter from Maine
Said, "Shoot the moose! He don't feel pain.
The moose demurred

StephanieFox
04-23-2008, 12:16 AM
A grizzled old hunter from Maine
Said, "Shoot the moose! He don't feel pain."
The moose demurred
Said he, "I'm not a bird."

HeronW
04-23-2008, 01:09 AM
A grizzled old hunter from Maine
Said, "Shoot the moose! He don't feel pain."
The moose demurred
Said he, "I'm not a bird."
"There's my revenge, allow me to explain..."

Horton the elephant heard a who

Autodidact
04-23-2008, 01:50 AM
Horton the elephant heard a who
albeit microscopic, it's true,

Matera the Mad
04-23-2008, 05:26 AM
Horton the elephant heard a who
albeit microscopic, it's true,
but despite the vast gap

Autodidact
04-23-2008, 08:07 PM
Horton the elephant heard a who
albeit microscopic, it's true,
but despite the vast gap,
"A person's not crap,

talkwrite
04-23-2008, 10:03 PM
Horton the elephant heard a who
albeit microscopic, it's true,
but despite the vast gap,
"A person's not crap,
It whispered: To Thine Own Self Be True

Autodidact
04-23-2008, 11:20 PM
Hey, talk, want to give us a first line?

talkwrite
04-24-2008, 09:21 PM
A prince flew a chopper for love

dobiwon
04-24-2008, 09:41 PM
A prince flew a chopper for love
And hovered a little above

donroc
04-24-2008, 09:43 PM
A prince flew a chopper for love
And hovered a little above
Crooning, "Please, kiss me Kate."

dobiwon
04-24-2008, 09:59 PM
A prince flew a chopper for love
And hovered a little above
Crooning, "Please, kiss me Kate."
And don't make me wait

Autodidact
04-24-2008, 10:06 PM
A prince flew a chopper for love
And hovered a little above
Crooning, "Please, kiss me Kate."
And don't make me wait
My co-pilot might give me a shove.


A poster at the water cooler,

dobiwon
04-24-2008, 10:08 PM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler

Matera the Mad
04-25-2008, 04:20 AM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler,
Said something odd

rosebud1981
04-25-2008, 06:43 PM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler,
Said something odd
About their favourite mod

donroc
04-25-2008, 06:51 PM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler,
Said something odd
About their favourite mod
"I'd like to see her dance the hooler."

A CSI expert from Vegas,

Woof
04-25-2008, 06:51 PM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler,
Said something odd
About their favourite mod
And was beaten with a ruler.


A computer mouse with a brain

talkwrite
04-25-2008, 06:52 PM
A poster at the water cooler,
A very well-known drooler,
Said something odd
About their favourite mod
Who then compared it to manure.

Shirley Temple was asked for advice

Autodidact
04-25-2008, 07:42 PM
A CSI expert from Vegas,
remarked that "This case will plague us

talkwrite
04-25-2008, 08:27 PM
A CSI expert from Vegas,
remarked that "This case will plague us
Since everyone's blind

donroc
04-25-2008, 08:38 PM
A CSI expert from Vegas,
remarked that "This case will plague us
Since everyone's blind
and in gambling behind

talkwrite
04-25-2008, 08:57 PM
A CSI expert from Vegas,
remarked that "This case will plague us
Since everyone's blind
and in gambling behind
Let's just take another hiatus

The writer who cheers " it's Friday "!

Matera the Mad
04-26-2008, 06:39 AM
The writer who cheers " it's Friday "!
Is not going off to a hideaway

Autodidact
04-26-2008, 08:42 AM
The writer who cheers " it's Friday "!
Is not going off to a hideaway
but hoisting a brew,

Pthom
04-26-2008, 09:27 AM
The writer who cheers "it's Friday!"
Is not going off to a hideaway.
But hoisting a brew
To all but a few,

Matera the Mad
04-26-2008, 10:36 AM
The writer who cheers "it's Friday!"
Is not going off to a hideaway.
But hoisting a brew
To all but a few,
Who mounted their camels to ride away.

A woman who cursed at computers

Kerr
04-26-2008, 04:42 PM
A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters

donroc
04-26-2008, 04:44 PM
A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild

Autodidact
04-27-2008, 04:07 AM
A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild
that reprobate child

donroc
04-27-2008, 05:11 AM
A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild
that reprobate child
She'll have no reputable suitors.

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke

Matera the Mad
04-27-2008, 08:00 AM
A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke

Autodidact
04-27-2008, 09:50 AM
A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,

StephanieFox
04-27-2008, 09:31 PM
A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,
Laid five cards on the felt,

Matera the Mad
04-28-2008, 04:25 AM
A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,
Laid five cards on the felt,
And the loser shot off his peruke.

A cat with a whimsical attitude

Nymtoc
04-28-2008, 04:39 AM
A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude

oneblindmouse
04-28-2008, 11:49 AM
A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude
"To rain cats and dogs

Nymtoc
04-28-2008, 12:12 PM
A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?

Sir_Nigel
04-28-2008, 04:07 PM
A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?
And he pondered on this as the fat he chewed.




‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’

Woof
04-28-2008, 04:27 PM
‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe

talkwrite
04-28-2008, 07:03 PM
‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum

Autodidact
04-28-2008, 07:04 PM
A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?
That it's not causes me to feel gratitude."


One Monday on my way to work,

talkwrite
04-28-2008, 07:06 PM
‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum
And spilling his rum

Pthom
04-29-2008, 02:04 AM
‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum
And spilling his rum
Said, "Whoa, Nellie, 'tain't a good show!

I wonder if chocolate and milk

Autodidact
04-29-2008, 02:31 AM
I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?

donroc
04-29-2008, 02:32 AM
I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best

Matera the Mad
04-29-2008, 08:43 AM
I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best
But I fear to try, lest

Autodidact
04-29-2008, 07:06 PM
I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best
But I fear to try, lest
it leaves a spot or else of that ilk.


There once was an amorous moose

donroc
04-29-2008, 07:45 PM
There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.

Autodidact
04-29-2008, 09:54 PM
There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing

oneblindmouse
04-29-2008, 11:00 PM
There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing
To go through a grilling?

Autodidact
04-29-2008, 11:25 PM
There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing
To go through a grilling?
asked a chef nearby, name of Bruce.


There once was a guy named Obama

otterman
04-29-2008, 11:42 PM
There once was a guy named Obama,
Who rode into town on his llama,

talkwrite
04-30-2008, 12:06 AM
There once was a guy named Obama,
Who rode into town on his llama,
With preacher in tow

donroc
04-30-2008, 12:08 AM
There once was a guy named Obama,
Who rode into town on his llama,
With preacher in tow
Who cawed hate like a crow

oneblindmouse
04-30-2008, 01:47 AM
There once was a guy named Obama,
Who rode into town on his llama,
With preacher in tow
Who cawed hate like a crow
And sounded a lot like Osama.

A wombat that thought it could fly

donroc
04-30-2008, 02:16 AM
A wombat that thought it could fly
Leaped from a cliff high into the sky

oneblindmouse
04-30-2008, 02:18 AM
A wombat that thought it could fly
Leaped from a cliff high into the sky
While sailing through space

otterman
04-30-2008, 03:15 AM
A wombat that thought it could fly
Leaped from a cliff high into the sky
While sailing through space
With a smile on its face

Matera the Mad
04-30-2008, 08:57 AM
A wombat that thought it could fly
Leaped from a cliff high into the sky
While sailing through space
With a smile on its face
It thought, "I'm so happy I could die."
(splat!)

A dragon-slaying hero of yore

RebelGoddess
04-30-2008, 09:46 AM
A dragon-slaying hero of yore,
Had a face that looked like a sore

donroc
04-30-2008, 03:18 PM
A dragon-slaying hero of yore,
Had a face that looked like a sore
The princess he saved

Woof
04-30-2008, 03:44 PM
A dragon-slaying hero of yore,
Had a face that looked like a sore
The princess he saved
Had arms unshaved

Nymtoc
04-30-2008, 04:07 PM
A dragon-slaying hero of yore,
Had a face that looked like a sore
The princess he saved
Had arms unshaved,
And she dribbled and drooled when she swore.

:eek:

There once was a sprightly old fella

oneblindmouse
04-30-2008, 04:14 PM
There once was a sprightly old fella
Who dressed in bright green and pale yella

Woof
04-30-2008, 04:16 PM
There once was a sprightly old fella
Who impersonated Nelson Mandela

talkwrite
04-30-2008, 07:10 PM
There once was a sprightly old fella
Who impersonated Nelson Mandela
With compassionate heart

Autodidact
04-30-2008, 07:33 PM
A dragon-slaying hero of yore,
Had a face that looked like a sore
The princess he saved
Had arms unshaved
thus they lived happily, evermore.


The world looks more bleak every day

Woof
04-30-2008, 08:26 PM
There once was a sprightly old fella
Who impersonated Nelson Mandela
With compassionate heart
A movement he did start

talkwrite
04-30-2008, 09:37 PM
There once was a sprightly old fella
Who impersonated Nelson Mandela
With compassionate heart
A movement he did start
In time for a new Cinderella

A year after winds ravaged Kansas

Autodidact
04-30-2008, 09:58 PM
A year after winds ravaged Kansas,
bringing despair to woman and manses,

donroc
04-30-2008, 10:49 PM
A year after winds ravaged Kansas,
bringing despair to woman and manses,
The sunflowers bloomed

HeronW
04-30-2008, 10:56 PM
A year after winds ravaged Kansas,
bringing despair to woman and manses,
The sunflowers bloomed
The starling nests boomed

Autodidact
04-30-2008, 11:30 PM
A year after winds ravaged Kansas,
bringing despair to woman and manses,
The sunflowers bloomed
The starling nests boomed,
and we're all in the back getting tanses.


Now that I'm older and wiser,

oneblindmouse
04-30-2008, 11:48 PM
Now that I'm older and wiser
I wish I'd been more of a miser

talkwrite
04-30-2008, 11:57 PM
Now that I'm older and wiser
I wish I'd been more of a miser
I wouldn't trust banks

donroc
05-01-2008, 12:42 AM
Now that I'm older and wiser
I wish I'd been more of a miser
I wouldn't trust banks
Except with Swiss Francs

otterman
05-01-2008, 01:55 AM
Now that I'm older and wiser
I wish I'd been more of a miser
I wouldn't trust banks
Except with Swiss Francs
And I would have bought stocks in Pfizer


Today I met a strange man,

Nymtoc
05-01-2008, 02:21 AM
Today I met a strange man
Who said, "Let's go see Kazakhstan!"

Autodidact
05-01-2008, 07:03 AM
Today I met a strange man
Who said, "Let's go see Kazakhstan!"
As he stepped on his carpet

donroc
05-01-2008, 07:05 AM
Today I met a strange man
Who said, "Let's go see Kazakhstan!"
As he stepped on his carpet
Atop a minaret

Matera the Mad
05-01-2008, 07:16 AM
Today I met a strange man
Who said, "Let's go see Kazakhstan!"
As he stepped on his carpet
Atop a minaret
I wondered if he had a plan.

There was a fair maiden afloat

Nymtoc
05-01-2008, 08:01 AM
There was a fair maiden afloat
On a crumpet she thought was a boat

Woof
05-01-2008, 04:07 PM
There was a fair maiden afloat
On a crumpet she thought was a boat
But the crumpet got soaked

donroc
05-01-2008, 04:11 PM
There was a fair maiden afloat
On a crumpet she thought was a boat
But the crumpet got soaked
And the maid almost croaked

Woof
05-01-2008, 04:20 PM
There was a fair maiden afloat
On a crumpet she thought was a boat
But the crumpet got soaked
And the maid almost croaked
In the crocodile-infested moat.


The Queen said "Off with his head!"

donroc
05-01-2008, 04:54 PM
The Queen said "Off with his head!"
It seemed her lover had failed her in bed.

HeronW
05-01-2008, 04:56 PM
The Queen said "Off with his head!"
It seemed her lover had failed her in bed.
The King was so pleased

talkwrite
05-01-2008, 06:44 PM
The Queen said "Off with his head!"
It seemed her lover had failed her in bed.
The King was so pleased
he stayed on his knees

Autodidact
05-01-2008, 07:28 PM
The Queen said "Off with his head!"
It seemed her lover had failed her in bed.
The King was so pleased
he stayed on his knees
and pleased her in that way instead.


A limerick should be obscene

Nymtoc
05-01-2008, 07:47 PM
A limerick should be obscene.
Who cares about rhymes that are clean?

talkwrite
05-01-2008, 11:15 PM
A limerick should be obscene.
Who cares about rhymes that are clean?
Clean just doesn't sell

Autodidact
05-01-2008, 11:31 PM
A limerick should be obscene.
Who cares about rhymes that are clean?
Clean just doesn't sell
Good taste, go to hell!

Nymtoc
05-02-2008, 02:01 AM
A limerick should be obscene.
Who cares about rhymes that are clean?
Clean just doesn't sell
Good taste, go to hell!
F*** off, you prudes! Know what I mean?

:partyguy:

A lovely young lady from Kent

akiwiguy
05-02-2008, 02:51 AM
A lovely young lady from Kent
Saw his gaze, and knew what it meant

otterman
05-02-2008, 02:58 AM
A lovely young lady from Kent
Saw his gaze, and knew what it meant
He continued to stare

Pthom
05-02-2008, 04:10 AM
A lovely young lady from Kent
Saw his gaze, and knew what it meant
He continued to stare
With never a care

Autodidact
05-02-2008, 06:09 AM
A lovely young lady from Kent
Saw his gaze, and knew what it meant
He continued to stare
With never a care
that she, knowing why, up and went.


Two things to remember when writing:

Woof
05-02-2008, 06:19 AM
Two things to remember when writing:
That the ego and id like fighting

Matera the Mad
05-02-2008, 07:48 AM
Two things to remember when writing:
That the ego and id like fighting.
Said Ego to Id,

oneblindmouse
05-02-2008, 02:28 PM
Two things to remember when writing:
That the ego and id like fighting.
Said Ego to Id,
"Now look here, you kid!

Sir_Nigel
05-02-2008, 04:08 PM
Two things to remember when writing:
That the ego and id like fighting.
Said Ego to Id,
"Now look here, you kid!
You can slap all you like but no biting."

Woof
05-02-2008, 05:12 PM
Sir Nigel left without a line

Nymtoc
05-02-2008, 05:19 PM
Sir Nigel left without a line
So I'll submit a line of mine

Woof
05-02-2008, 05:23 PM
Sir Nigel left without a line
So I'll submit a line of mine
Pray, make it brief

Nymtoc
05-02-2008, 05:27 PM
Sir Nigel left without a line
So I'll submit a line of mine
Pray, make it brief
We need relief

Woof
05-02-2008, 05:40 PM
Sir Nigel left without a line
So I'll submit a line of mine
Pray, make it brief
We need relief
From verses silly and malign.


No more keyboard, for me a quill

talkwrite
05-02-2008, 06:21 PM
No more keyboard, for me a quill
From which will flow words, better still

Woof
05-02-2008, 06:54 PM
No more keyboard, for me a quill
From which will flow words, better still
"Forsooth!" I shall write

oneblindmouse
05-02-2008, 07:20 PM
No more keyboard, for me a quill
From which will flow words, better still
"Forsooth!" I shall write
"Ye gads!" and then smite

donroc
05-02-2008, 08:40 PM
No more keyboard, for me a quill
From which will flow words, better still
"Forsooth!" I shall write
"Ye gads!" and then smite
After which yards of beer I shall swill.

It is said no word can rhyme with orange,

Autodidact
05-02-2008, 08:57 PM
It is said no word can rhyme with orange,
'tho Nash quipped, "I just adore Inge."

oneblindmouse
05-02-2008, 09:42 PM
It is said no word can rhyme with orange,
'tho Nash quipped, "I just adore Inge."
But who is Nash?

dobiwon
05-02-2008, 10:33 PM
It is said no word can rhyme with orange,
'tho Nash quipped, "I just adore Inge."
But who is Nash?
Does he have cash?

Nymtoc
05-02-2008, 10:36 PM
It is said no word can rhyme with orange,
'tho Nash quipped, "I just adore Inge."
But who is Nash?
Does he have cash?
Or is he as broke as a door 'inge?

:cool:

Two gumdrops decided to marry

donroc
05-02-2008, 10:37 PM
It is said no word can rhyme with orange,
'tho Nash quipped, "I just adore Inge."
But who is Nash?
Does he have cash?
No, he lost it all on a binge.

A sneakky pickpocket from Nantes

Woof
05-02-2008, 11:33 PM
...mmm..tough choice but Nymtoc came first:

Two gumdrops decided to marry
But one of them wanted to tarry

oneblindmouse
05-03-2008, 12:01 AM
Two gumdrops decided to marry
But one of them wanted to tarry
He wasn't quite sure

talkwrite
05-03-2008, 12:05 AM
Two gumdrops decided to marry
But one of them wanted to tarry
He wasn't quite sure
If she was still pure

otterman
05-03-2008, 12:25 AM
Two gumdrops decided to marry
But one of them wanted to tarry
He wasn't quite sure
If she was still pure
But he still loved her flavor: blueberry


A pirate ship was lost in a storm

Pthom
05-03-2008, 03:44 AM
(fixing meter:)

A pirate ship lost in a storm
Had a captain who looked like a worm.

Matera the Mad
05-03-2008, 06:24 AM
A pirate ship lost in a storm
Had a captain who looked like a worm.
He steadied the helm

otterman
05-03-2008, 03:39 PM
A pirate ship lost in a storm
Had a captain who looked like a worm.
He steadied the helm
And entered a realm (is that okay, Pthom?:))

oneblindmouse
05-03-2008, 04:20 PM
A pirate ship lost in a storm
Had a captain who looked like a worm.
He steadied the helm
And entered a realm (is that okay, Pthom?)
where piracy wasn't the norm.

A porcupine frantic for love

HeronW
05-03-2008, 05:32 PM
A porcupine frantic for love
couldn't find any help from above

oneblindmouse
05-03-2008, 10:54 PM
A porcupine frantic for love
couldn't find any help from above.
So, rattling his quills

otterman
05-04-2008, 01:28 AM
A porcupine frantic for love
couldn't find any help from above.
So, rattling his quills
He popped a few pills

donroc
05-04-2008, 01:36 AM
A porcupine frantic for love
couldn't find any help from above.
So, rattling his quills
He popped a few pills
And mistakingly boffed a cute dove.

A vaquero from old Vera Cruz

Nymtoc
05-04-2008, 01:43 AM
A vaquero from old Vera Cruz
Got borracho on rotten old booze

otterman
05-04-2008, 04:30 AM
A vaquero from old Vera Cruz
Got borracho on rotten old booze
He fell off his bayo

Nymtoc
05-04-2008, 04:41 AM
A vaquero from old Vera Cruz
Got borracho on rotten old booze
He fell off his bayo
On Cinco de Mayo

Matera the Mad
05-04-2008, 05:19 AM
A vaquero from old Vera Cruz
Got borracho on rotten old booze
He fell off his bayo
On Cinco de Mayo
And exposed his poor sesos to luz

A limerick writer from Paris

oneblindmouse
05-04-2008, 10:17 AM
A limerick writer from Paris
whose pseudonym was Henry Harris

HeronW
05-04-2008, 01:07 PM
A limerick writer from Paris
whose pseudonym was Henry Harris
could not find a rhyme

Woof
05-04-2008, 05:52 PM
A limerick writer from Paris
whose pseudonym was Henry Harris
could not find a rhyme
to sell for a dime

talkwrite
05-05-2008, 06:23 PM
A limerick writer from Paris
whose pseudonym was Henry Harris
could not find a rhyme
to sell for a dime
So he wrote short stories that scare us.

A writer who dreamed of perfection

donroc
05-05-2008, 06:38 PM
A writer who dreamed of perfection
Through his heroine had an erection

Woof
05-05-2008, 08:24 PM
A writer who dreamed of perfection
Through his heroine had an erection
But he suffered withdrawal

talkwrite
05-06-2008, 12:29 AM
A writer who dreamed of perfection
Through his heroine had an erection
But he suffered withdrawal
and he threw in the towel

StephanieFox
05-06-2008, 02:08 AM
A writer who dreamed of perfection
Through his heroine had an erection
But he suffered withdrawal
and he threw in the towel
When his editor made the correction.



On Mayday the maypole was raised

donroc
05-06-2008, 03:27 AM
On Mayday the maypole was raised
The nymphs and satyrs became crazed

talkwrite
05-06-2008, 03:40 AM
On Mayday the maypole was raised
The nymphs and satyrs became crazed
Chanting unionist rants

Matera the Mad
05-06-2008, 07:06 AM
On Mayday the maypole was raised
The nymphs and satyrs became crazed
Chanting unionist rants
They took off their pants

Autodidact
05-06-2008, 07:14 AM
On Mayday the maypole was raised
The nymphs and satyrs became crazed
Chanting unionist rants
They took off their pants
They had pants? I'll say I'm amazed.


There once was a limerick writer

poetinahat
05-06-2008, 07:16 AM
There once was a limerick writer
Who sat on a cigarette lighter

Matera the Mad
05-06-2008, 07:18 AM
There once was a limerick writer
Who sat on a cigarette lighter.
His pants were on fire

akiwiguy
05-06-2008, 08:36 AM
There once was a limerick writer
Who sat on a cigarette lighter.
His pants were on fire,
The flames getting higher

oneblindmouse
05-06-2008, 12:50 PM
There once was a limerick writer
Who sat on a cigarette lighter.
His pants were on fire,
The flames getting higher
Quite irking that shameless old blighter!

A young nurse who knew how to draw blood

Autodidact
05-06-2008, 02:53 PM
A young nurse who knew how to draw blood
was startled by a sudden thud

talkwrite
05-06-2008, 05:54 PM
A young nurse who knew how to draw blood
was startled by a sudden thud.
A patient on the floor

Woof
05-06-2008, 06:54 PM
A young nurse who knew how to draw blood
was startled by a sudden thud.
A patient on the floor
Reputed to be a whore

Autodidact
05-06-2008, 07:47 PM
A young nurse who knew how to draw blood
was startled by a sudden thud.
A patient on the floor
Reputed to be a whore
had fainted. Said the nurse, "Oh crud."

I once had a lovely romance

donroc
05-06-2008, 07:54 PM
I once had a lovely romance
Who tangoed the sexiest dance

Woof
05-06-2008, 08:09 PM
I once had a lovely romance
Who tangoed the sexiest dance
She gyrated all nude

Pthom
05-07-2008, 12:19 AM
I once had a lovely romance
Who tangoed the sexiest dance
She gyrated all nude
Oh, far from a prude!

Woof
05-07-2008, 12:25 AM
I once had a lovely romance
Who tangoed the sexiest dance
She gyrated all nude
Oh, far from a prude!
She held on to his sizable lance.


An ostrich who lived in denial

Pthom
05-07-2008, 12:31 AM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Kept the evidence in a small vial

Matera the Mad
05-07-2008, 05:24 AM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Kept the evidence in a small vial.
Though it was close at hand

Woof
05-07-2008, 03:41 PM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Kept the evidence in a small vial.
Though it was close at hand
Buried under the sand

rosebud1981
05-07-2008, 06:08 PM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Kept the evidence in a small vial.
Though it was close at hand
Buried under the sand
He was sentenced to death at his trial.

A man with a very small brain

Woof
05-07-2008, 06:32 PM
A man with a very small brain
Was petty, dim-witted and vain

Nymtoc
05-07-2008, 08:31 PM
A man with a very small brain
Was petty, dim-witted and vain.
No peacock was prouder

Woof
05-07-2008, 08:41 PM
A man with a very small brain
Was petty, dim-witted and vain.
No peacock was prouder
Or thick as clam chowder

talkwrite
05-07-2008, 09:36 PM
A man with a very small brain
Was petty, dim-witted and vain.
No peacock was prouder
Or thick as clam chowder
Except the President from Maine

Barbara Walters interviewed herself

donroc
05-07-2008, 10:28 PM
Barbara Walters interviewed herself
While staring into a mirror on the shelf

Woof
05-07-2008, 11:38 PM
Barbara Walters interviewed herself
While staring into a mirror on the shelf
She feigned sincerity

talkwrite
05-08-2008, 12:31 AM
Barbara Walters interviewed herself
While staring into a mirror on the shelf
She feigned sincerity
Clutching her dignity

otterman
05-08-2008, 01:30 AM
Barbara Walters interviewed herself
While staring into a mirror on the shelf
She feigned sincerity
Clutching her dignity
And answered like the oracle at i-delph.



A sardine swam into a whale,

Matera the Mad
05-08-2008, 08:25 AM
A sardine swam into a whale,
And said, "Oh, sh*t! Never fails!

oneblindmouse
05-08-2008, 12:41 PM
A sardine swam into a whale,
And said, "Oh, sh*t! Never fails!
The larger they get

talkwrite
05-08-2008, 06:49 PM
A sardine swam into a whale,
And said, "Oh, sh*t! Never fails!
The larger they get
the blinder I get.

Woof
05-09-2008, 03:03 AM
talkwrite, please drop us a line

donroc
05-09-2008, 03:04 AM
talkwrite, please drop us a line
The forgetful should pay a big fine

Woof
05-09-2008, 03:26 AM
talkwrite, please drop us a line
The forgetful should pay a big fine
10 bucks for each word

Matera the Mad
05-09-2008, 06:16 AM
talkwrite, please drop us a line
The forgetful should pay a big fine
10 bucks for each word--
Says talkwrite, "My lord!"

oneblindmouse
05-09-2008, 10:44 AM
talkwrite, please drop us a line
The forgetful should pay a big fine
10 bucks for each word--
Says talkwrite, "My lord!
What makes you think I own a mine?"

A writer woke up one fine day

Sir_Nigel
05-09-2008, 02:08 PM
A writer woke up one fine day
and cried 'I have something to say!'

Woof
05-09-2008, 03:48 PM
A writer woke up one fine day
and cried 'I have something to say!'
"My muse has returned

Nymtoc
05-09-2008, 04:29 PM
A writer woke up one fine day
and cried 'I have something to say!'
"My muse has returned,
And oh! What I've learned!

Woof
05-09-2008, 05:16 PM
A writer woke up one fine day
and cried 'I have something to say!'
"My muse has returned,
And oh! What I've learned!
So now I must write an essay."



A guilt-ridden boozy old hack

oneblindmouse
05-09-2008, 06:17 PM
A guilt-ridden boozy old hack
Who lived in a filthy old sack

talkwrite
05-09-2008, 07:08 PM
A guilt-ridden boozy old hack
Who lived in a filthy old sack
Decided to cull

StephanieFox
05-10-2008, 01:44 AM
A guilt-ridden boozy old hack
Who lived in a filthy old sack
Decided to cull
From Tom Wolf's Man in Full

Matera the Mad
05-10-2008, 05:15 AM
A guilt-ridden boozy old hack
Who lived in a filthy old sack
Decided to cull
From Tom Wolf's Man in Full
But bad karma was all he got back.

A plagiarist I once knew

donroc
05-10-2008, 05:21 AM
A plagiarist I once knew
Stole Will's Taming of the Shrew

HeronW
05-10-2008, 07:11 AM
A plagiarist I once knew
Stole Will's Taming of the Shrew
Kate was a bon mot

Woof
05-10-2008, 05:34 PM
A plagiarist I once knew
Stole Will's Taming of the Shrew
Kate was a bon mot
Who stole the show

Nymtoc
05-10-2008, 09:04 PM
A plagiarist I once knew
Stole Will's Taming of the Shrew
Kate was a bon mot
Who stole the show
But the Bard's estate went on to sue.

:cool:

There once was a guy name of Caesar

StephanieFox
05-11-2008, 03:36 AM
There once was a guy name of Caesar
Who was quite a naughty old geezer

donroc
05-11-2008, 03:40 AM
There once was a guy name of Caesar
Who was quite a naughty old geezer
and comic called Sid

otterman
05-11-2008, 03:52 AM
There once was a guy name of Caesar
Who was quite a naughty old geezer
and comic called Sid
Much joking he did

Matera the Mad
05-11-2008, 03:57 AM
There once was a guy name of Caesar
Who was quite a naughty old geezer
and comic called Sid
Much joking he did--
I can't tell them apart, what a teaser.

A worthless old pile of potatoes

donroc
05-11-2008, 05:17 AM
A worthless old pile of potatoes
Was worn by some guys in their speedos,

Woof
05-11-2008, 06:28 PM
A worthless old pile of potatoes
Was worn by some guys in their speedos,
With bulges unsightly

oneblindmouse
05-11-2008, 11:09 PM
A worthless old pile of potatoes
Was worn by some guys in their speedos,
With bulges unsightly
these geezers felt sprightly

StephanieFox
05-12-2008, 01:57 AM
A worthless old pile of potatoes
Was worn by some guys in their speedos,
With bulges unsightly
These geezers felt sprightly
'Cause their bulges were red as tomatoes.




A journalist after a story

Nymtoc
05-12-2008, 04:02 AM
A journalist after a story
Decided he'd make it sound gory

Matera the Mad
05-12-2008, 05:00 AM
A journalist after a story
Decided he'd make it sound gory.
A mere light contusion

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 10:42 AM
A journalist after a story
Decided he'd make it sound gory.
A mere light contusion
Would add to confusion

Woof
05-12-2008, 05:03 PM
A journalist after a story
Decided he'd make it sound gory.
A mere light contusion
Would add to confusion
When the corpse was found in a quarry.


A vampire who could not abide blood

oneblindmouse
05-12-2008, 08:00 PM
A vampire who could not abide blood
Had his coffin engulfed in black mud

Woof
05-12-2008, 08:32 PM
A vampire who could not abide blood
Had his coffin engulfed in black mud
He refused a transfusion