Limericks Live!

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Solatium

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They were digging up my street today,
which disrupted my roll in the hay.
Then my breakfast was cold,
And the car that I'd sold
 

Pat~

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They were digging up my street today,
which disrupted my roll in the hay.
Then my breakfast was cold,
And the car that I'd sold
Was trapped in the front driveway.

My laptop is scorching my legs
 

Solatium

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My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
 
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gp101

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reph said:
*It doesn't work for me: besides the rhyme issue, many Yanks are on the dole.

And the overwhelming majority of us aren't.


My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
But the heat generated
with pics quite x-rated
 
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Solatium

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My laptop is scorching my legs
I'm downloading raunchy JPEGs
But the heat generated
with pics quite x-rated
Might mean I can never get pregs

Would that be a tragedy? No
 

Pat~

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Would that be a tragedy? No--
(Already got two teenagers in tow);
 

Pat~

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Would that be a tragedy? No--
(already got two teenagers in tow);
The thought of another
Li'l sister or brother
 

Mr Underhill

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Would that be a tragedy? No;
Two teenagers already in tow
The thought of another
Li'l sister or brother
My breakfast I'm ready to throw

(sorry - couldn't resist fixing the meter in line 2...)

The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
 

Pat~

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The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
 

Carole

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The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush
 

poetinahat

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The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush
but his mane is so plush
 

reph

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The lion's gap tooth made this whistle
As he tore at the meat and the gristle
If he could, he would blush
but his mane is so plush
You could never part it with a missile.

Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
 

poetinahat

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Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
 

Pat~

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Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely
 

Meaney

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Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely
with tributes to Japanese shoguns.


[Alright, there's no reason Swahili warriors would honour ancient Japanese military, but I challenge anyone to come up with a rhyme for slogans!]

I leapt from the top of the tower
 

poetinahat

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I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower*


*: If this is too obscure for non-Euchre players, chuck it out.
 

reph

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poetinahat said:
If this is too obscure for non-Euchre players, chuck it out.
It's too obscure for me, but I can work with it if I don't have to know anything about Euchre.

I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,

(Meaney: slow guns, throw guns, brogue ones – but "shoguns" suffices.)
 

Meaney

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I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,
I dropped a half crown


reph said:
(Meaney: slow guns, throw guns, brogue ones – but "shoguns" suffices.)
I should know better than to bandy challenges I must concede.
 
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Pat~

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Meaney said:
Who painted my kitchen with slogans?
An African tribe armed with blow-guns?
It looks like Swahili
Embellished quite freely
with tributes to Japanese shoguns.


[Alright, there's no reason Swahili warriors would honour ancient Japanese military, but I challenge anyone to come up with a rhyme for slogans!]


...with signature looking like Hogan's...
 

poetinahat

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I leapt from the top of the tower
When my leading ace lost to Right Bower
But then, halfway down,
I dropped a half crown
And beat my best time by an hour

When two turtles go on a date
 
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