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Pthom
01-16-2008, 10:24 PM
A Martian named Murzig Mazor
Was shaving a girl with a razor.
He asked how she felt
And she nearly did melt
'Cause Murzig's sharp razor did faze 'er.

Belinda Melinda O'Malley

rosebud1981
01-16-2008, 10:27 PM
Belinda Melinda O'Malley
Stole a painting by Salvador Dali

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 10:27 PM
Belinda Melinda O'Malley
Stole a painting by Salvador Dali
Its lines were distorted

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 10:40 PM
Belinda Melinda O'Malley
Stole a painting by Salvador Dali
Its lines were distorted
the shapes all cavorted

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 10:57 PM
Belinda Melinda O'Malley
Stole a painting by Salvador Dali
Its lines were distorted
the shapes all cavorted
So she threw it away in the alley.

:D

Two sailors, two girls and a mule

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 11:01 PM
Two sailors, two girls and a mule
Decided to swim in a pool

Woof
01-17-2008, 01:00 AM
Two sailors, two girls and a mule
Decided to swim in a pool
But the mule was drowned

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 01:11 AM
Two sailors, two girls and a mule
Decided to swim in a pool
But the mule was drowned
After clowning around

Woof
01-17-2008, 01:23 AM
Two sailors, two girls and a mule
Decided to swim in a pool
But the mule was drowned
After clowning around
And riding the girls like a fool.


And man who was forced to eat crow

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 01:29 AM
A man who was forced to eat crow
Said, "It actually tastes good, you know

Woof
01-17-2008, 01:31 AM
A man who was forced to eat crow
Said, "It actually tastes good, you know
Still, the talons are tough

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 01:33 AM
A man who was forced to eat crow
Said, "It actually tastes good, you know
Still, the talons are tough
Till I chew them enough

Woof
01-17-2008, 01:46 AM
A man who was forced to eat crow
Said, "It actually tastes good, you know
Still, the talons are tough
Till I chew them enough
And I spit out the beak like a pro.


A peacock, a horse and a nun

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 01:47 AM
A peacock, a horse and a nun
Robbed a bank and then went on the run

Woof
01-17-2008, 01:50 AM
A peacock, a horse and a nun
Robbed a bank and then went on the run
The getaway car

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 01:52 AM
A peacock, a horse and a nun
Robbed a bank and then went on the run
The getaway car
Had a fully stocked bar

Pthom
01-17-2008, 02:00 AM
A peacock, a horse and a nun
Robbed a bank and then went on the run
The getaway car
Had a fully stocked bar
And roof-mounted Gatling gun

On top of old Smokey at night

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 02:03 AM
On top of old Smokey at night
Jack and Jill had a terrible fight

Pthom
01-17-2008, 03:00 AM
On top of old Smokey at night
Jack and Jill had a terrible fight
Something 'bout buckets

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 03:58 AM
On top of old Smokey at night
Jack and Jill had a terrible fight
Something 'bout buckets
They said. Well, tough luck! It's

Pthom
01-17-2008, 04:46 AM
On top of old Smokey at night
Jack and Jill had a terrible fight
Something 'bout buckets
They said. Well, tough luck! It's
Too bad. Jack just fell from sight.

But Jill, she just wanted to rumble

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 04:49 AM
But Jill, she just wanted to rumble
She laughed when poor Jack took his tumble

Pthom
01-17-2008, 04:50 AM
But Jill, she just wanted to rumble
She laughed when poor Jack took his tumble
Yet she caught her toe

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 04:53 AM
But Jill, she just wanted to rumble
She laughed when poor Jack took his tumble
Yet she caught her toe
On a bramble, and so

Pthom
01-17-2008, 05:09 AM
But Jill, she just wanted to rumble
She laughed when poor Jack took his tumble
Yet she caught her toe
On a bramble, and so
All her plans she did bumble.

Just take it (be strong!) on the chin

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 05:32 AM
Just take it (be strong!) on the chin
And if you must, guzzle some gin

Pthom
01-17-2008, 05:58 AM
Just take it (be strong!) on the chin
And if you must, guzzle some gin
Hehe, you'll feel free!

Nymtoc
01-17-2008, 06:10 AM
Just take it (be strong!) on the chin
And if you must, guzzle some gin
Hehe, you'll feel free!
Hey, just look at me!

Kerr
01-17-2008, 08:09 AM
Just take it (be strong!) on the chin
And if you must, guzzle some gin
Hehe, you'll feel free!
Hey, just look at me!
I'm drunk with a busted grin.

When the teataster drank from a tass

Joycecwilliams
01-17-2008, 09:13 AM
When the teataster drank from a tass
He explode with terrible gas

Pthom
01-17-2008, 11:50 AM
When the teataster drank from a tass
He explode with terrible gas.
"What's in this?" he cried.

HeronW
01-17-2008, 03:56 PM
When the teataster drank from a tass
He explode with terrible gas.
"What's in this?" he cried.
"My guts are outside!"

Joycecwilliams
01-17-2008, 04:16 PM
When the teataster drank from a tass
He explode with terrible gas.
"What's in this?" he cried.
"My guts are outside!"
I suppose I'll go on a fast.


Herb was a man of distinction,

HeronW
01-17-2008, 05:44 PM
Herb was a man of distinction,
whose pasttime was termite extinction

Woof
01-17-2008, 05:46 PM
Herb was a man of distinction,
whose pastime was termite extinction
He stamped out those pests

Joycecwilliams
01-17-2008, 06:29 PM
Herb was a man of distinction,
whose pastime was termite extinction
He stamped out those pests
then threw a food fest.

Kerr
01-17-2008, 11:04 PM
Herb was a man of distinction,
whose pastime was termite extinction
He stamped out those pests
then threw a food fest.
But, alas, had an ant infestation.

A gerbil who lived in a cage

Woof
01-17-2008, 11:25 PM
A gerbil who lived in a cage
Flew into a terrible rage

Nymtoc
01-18-2008, 01:23 AM
A gerbil who lived in a cage
Flew into a terrible rage
They'd stirred his martini

HeronW
01-18-2008, 01:45 AM
A gerbil who lived in a cage
Flew into a terrible rage
They'd stirred his martini
with his cage mate's weenie

oneblindmouse
01-18-2008, 02:05 AM
A gerbil who lived in a cage
Flew into a terrible rage
They'd stirred his martini
with his cage mate's weenie
who more than doubled his age.

A flag flying high on the breeze

HeronW
01-18-2008, 11:49 AM
A flag flying high on the breeze
Flapped twice when it happened to sneeze

oneblindmouse
01-18-2008, 02:04 PM
A flag flying high on the breeze
Flapped twice when it happened to sneeze
The rigging then broke

HeronW
01-18-2008, 02:30 PM
A flag flying high on the breeze
Flapped twice when it happened to sneeze
The rigging then broke
the flag had to choke

oneblindmouse
01-18-2008, 03:30 PM
A flag flying high on the breeze
Flapped twice when it happened to sneeze
The rigging then broke
the flag had to choke
sagging mournfully down on its knees.

A raven, a crow and a rook

Sir_Nigel
01-18-2008, 03:42 PM
A raven, a crow and a rook
met a chicken, a goose and a duck

oneblindmouse
01-18-2008, 04:06 PM
A raven, a crow and a rook
met a chicken, a goose and a duck,
three owls and a wren,

Kerr
01-18-2008, 04:13 PM
A raven, a crow and a rook
met a chicken, a goose and a duck,
three owls and a wren,
in a seed field when

Woof
01-18-2008, 05:46 PM
A raven, a crow and a rook
met a chicken, a goose and a duck,
three owls and a wren,
in a seed field when
They all began to..uh..flock.


The pig we must never malign

Nymtoc
01-18-2008, 06:07 PM
The pig we must never malign
In some cultures he is divine

Woof
01-18-2008, 06:14 PM
The pig we must never malign
In some cultures he is divine
His manners, in truth

Nymtoc
01-18-2008, 06:17 PM
The pig we must never malign
In some cultures he is divine
His manners, in truth
Are sometimes uncouth

Woof
01-18-2008, 06:24 PM
The pig we must never malign
In some cultures he is divine
His manners, in truth
Are sometimes uncouth
What do you expect from a swine?



Deep in the tomb of a mummy

Nymtoc
01-18-2008, 06:33 PM
Deep in the tomb of a mummy
Archaeologists got kind of chummy

Woof
01-18-2008, 06:37 PM
Deep in the tomb of a mummy
Archaeologists got kind of chummy
Unearthing a bone

HeronW
01-18-2008, 06:42 PM
Deep in the tomb of a mummy
Archaeologists got kind of chummy
Unearthing a bone
they heard a great groan

Woof
01-18-2008, 06:53 PM
Deep in the tomb of a mummy
Archaeologists got kind of chummy
Unearthing a bone
they heard a great groan:
The curse of the hungry tummy!


I dreamed I had traveled to Mars

HeronW
01-18-2008, 06:57 PM
I dreamed I had traveled to Mars
With the green twins, Lana and Lars

oneblindmouse
01-18-2008, 07:18 PM
I dreamed I had traveled to Mars
With the green twins, Lana and Lars
They look so alike

Pthom
01-18-2008, 11:08 PM
I dreamed I had traveled to Mars
With the green twins, Lana and Lars
They look so alike
When out on a hike

Nymtoc
01-19-2008, 12:00 AM
I dreamed I had traveled to Mars
With the green twins, Lana and Lars
They look so alike
When out on a hike
But quite different when playing guitars.

:Guitar: :Guitar:

A woman from East Transylvania

Pthom
01-19-2008, 12:29 AM
A woman from East Transylvania
Migrated to west Pennsylvania

Nymtoc
01-19-2008, 12:38 AM
A woman from East Transylvania
Migrated to west Pennsylvania
She rented a room

HeronW
01-19-2008, 12:53 AM
A woman from East Transylvania
Migrated to west Pennsylvania
She rented a room
and wove on a loom

Nymtoc
01-19-2008, 01:02 AM
A woman from East Transylvania
Migrated to west Pennsylvania
She rented a room
and wove on a loom
And now she sells rugs to Albania.

:crazy:

Ten dollars will buy you a cow

Pthom
01-19-2008, 02:43 AM
Ten dollars will buy you a cow
And twenty will get you a plow


(some plow . . . some cow!)

Nymtoc
01-19-2008, 02:47 AM
Ten dollars will buy you a cow
And twenty will get you a plow
And fifty will buy

HeronW
01-19-2008, 04:37 AM
Ten dollars will buy you a cow
And twenty will get you a plow
And fifty will buy
a hayloft to try

oneblindmouse
01-19-2008, 08:13 PM
Ten dollars will buy you a cow
And twenty will get you a plow
And fifty will buy
a hayloft to try
and lighten the sweat from your brow.

A farmer once fancied a wench

HeronW
01-20-2008, 02:12 AM
A farmer once fancied a wench
he offered her room on his bench

Pthom
01-20-2008, 03:24 AM
A farmer once fancied a wench
he offered her room on his bench
“But I can’t,” she did say

oneblindmouse
01-20-2008, 03:52 AM
A farmer once fancied a wench
he offered her room on his bench
“But I can’t,” she did say
"I must go and make hay."

Pthom
01-20-2008, 04:04 AM
A farmer once fancied a wench
he offered her room on his bench
“But I can’t,” she did say
"I must go and make hay."
Then she clobbered him with a big wrench.

The sheriff inducted a posse

Nymtoc
01-20-2008, 04:22 AM
The sheriff inducted a posse
To capture the bandit called Flossie

Joycecwilliams
01-20-2008, 08:19 AM
The sheriff inducted a posse
To capture the bandit called Flossie
A cow on the lam

Albedo of Zero
01-20-2008, 09:31 AM
The sheriff inducted a posse
To capture the bandit called Flossie
A cow on the lam
We're stalking beef and not ham

Matera the Mad
01-20-2008, 09:59 AM
The sheriff inducted a posse
To capture the bandit called Flossie
A cow on the lam
We're stalking beef and not ham
And we don't like a heifer who's bossy.


A fantasy writer named Megan

ona
01-20-2008, 10:09 AM
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave

(an old one, some of you will know the sequence)

but it's getting too hayseedish, so ...

Pthom
01-20-2008, 12:01 PM
Um, Ona, think you missed the point of this game. The idea is to add a line to the previous partially completed limerick. If you add the last line, then you get to begin a new one. :)

HeronW
01-20-2008, 01:18 PM
A fantasy writer named Megan
was smacking the keyboard and beggin'

ona
01-20-2008, 01:55 PM
A fantasy writer named Megan
was smacking the keyboard and beggin'


When she cried HALLELUJAH,
May the force come to ya,

K1P1
01-20-2008, 05:08 PM
A fantasy writer named Megan
Was smacking the keyboard and beggin'
When she cried HALLELUJAH,
May the force come to ya,
The hero's clothes on the line she'll be peggin'.

When he jimmied the lock on the storage

Woof
01-20-2008, 07:05 PM
When he jimmied the lock on the storage
He discovered an old rusted war fridge

rhymegirl
01-20-2008, 09:00 PM
When he jimmied the lock on the storage
He discovered an old rusted war fridge,
With some whiskey inside,

HeronW
01-20-2008, 09:29 PM
When he jimmied the lock on the storage
He discovered an old rusted war fridge,
With some whiskey inside,
and a photo that lied

onestepp
01-20-2008, 11:29 PM
When he jimmied the lock on the storage
He discovered an old rusted war fridge,
With some whiskey inside,
and a photo that lied
Soldiers never die! They play bridge!

oneblindmouse
01-21-2008, 12:39 AM
In Onestepp's absence, here's a new first line:

There once was a cook in Wyoming

K1P1
01-21-2008, 01:23 AM
There once was a cook in Wyoming
After big horned sheep she went roaming

oneblindmouse
01-21-2008, 01:36 AM
There once was a cook in Wyoming
After big horned sheep she went roaming
She caught a large ram

K1P1
01-21-2008, 01:42 AM
There once was a cook in Wyoming
After big horned sheep she went roaming
She caught a large ram
And offered it Spam

HeronW
01-21-2008, 02:05 AM
There once was a cook in Wyoming
After big horned sheep she went roaming
She caught a large ram
And offered it Spam
and kissed him right there in the gloaming.

A young hairless werewolf named Louie

oneblindmouse
01-21-2008, 02:35 AM
A young hairless werewolf named Louie
Said "All of these threads are just phooey!"

Pthom
01-21-2008, 03:22 AM
A young hairless werewolf named Louie
Said "All of these threads are just phooey!"
Then he had an itch.

Albedo of Zero
01-21-2008, 07:59 AM
A young hairless werewolf named Louie
Said "All of these threads are just phooey!"
Then he had an itch.
said "well, ain't that rich"

K1P1
01-21-2008, 08:52 AM
A young hairless werewolf named Louie
Said "All of these threads are just phooey!"
Then he had an itch.
Said "Well, ain't that rich.
I must be allergic to newbies."

Whatever became of the fragrance?

oneblindmouse
01-21-2008, 11:17 AM
Whatever became of the fragrance
with which one associates vagrants?

ona
01-21-2008, 11:29 AM
Whose hair was in need of a combing

Pthom
01-21-2008, 12:20 PM
Whatever became of the fragrance
with which one associates vagrants
Whose hair needed combing <------adjusted for proper limerick meter (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1963576&postcount=5447).
Because they'd been roaming

ona
01-21-2008, 12:33 PM
Whatever became of the fragrance
with which one associates vagrants
Whose hair needed combing <------adjusted for proper limerick meter.
Because they'd been roaming
forever, in search of a homing

(sorry - previous post must have been made in response to an "unrefreshed page", on which only the first line of this limerick appeared ... aaargh, never mind)

ona
01-21-2008, 12:36 PM
There once was a lass from Yagoona

Nymtoc
01-21-2008, 01:01 PM
There once was a lass from Yagoona
Who fancied a lad from Altoona

HeronW
01-21-2008, 02:19 PM
There once was a lass from Yagoona
Who fancied a lad from Altoona
She powdered and primped

ona
01-21-2008, 02:22 PM
And pouted and crimped

Pthom
01-22-2008, 01:27 AM
There once was a lass from Yagoona
Who fancied a lad from Altoona
She powdered and primped
And pouted and crimped
'Cause he really was the big Kahuna!

To copy and paste is a skill

Nymtoc
01-22-2008, 01:29 AM
To copy and paste is a skill
Which very few teachers instill

oneblindmouse
01-22-2008, 02:34 AM
To copy and paste is a skill
Which very few teachers instill
But try as I might

althrasher
01-22-2008, 02:35 AM
To copy and paste is a skill
Which very few teachers instill
But try as I might
I just can't get it right

oneblindmouse
01-22-2008, 02:41 AM
To copy and paste is a skill
Which very few teachers instill
But try as I might
I can't get it right
And sometimes I feel I could kill!

There once was a poster who thought

HeronW
01-22-2008, 02:45 AM
There once was a poster who thought
that real good ideas can be bought

althrasher
01-22-2008, 02:47 AM
There once was a poster who thought
that real good ideas can be bought
So he gave out a dollar

oneblindmouse
01-22-2008, 02:48 AM
There once was a poster who thought
that real good ideas can be bought
So he gave out a dollar
Then let out a holler

HeronW
01-22-2008, 03:00 AM
There once was a poster who thought
that real good ideas can be bought
So he gave out a dollar
Then let out a holler
his larceny all came to nought.

A perky young Mouse on vacation

rhymegirl
01-22-2008, 03:23 AM
A perky young Mouse on vacation
Met a sexy mouse at the bus station,

Woof
01-22-2008, 05:41 AM
A perky young Mouse on vacation
Met a sexy mouse at the bus station,
She offered him cheese

ona
01-22-2008, 05:49 AM
But his shrug made her freeze

Albedo of Zero
01-22-2008, 08:04 AM
A perky young Mouse on vacation
Met a sexy mouse at the bus station,
She offered him cheese
But his shrug made her freeze
Twas the end of her cheesy flirtation




A skinny young man from Ohio

Joycecwilliams
01-22-2008, 08:30 AM
A skinny young man from Ohio
Went down to Louisiana's Bayou

Nymtoc
01-22-2008, 08:49 AM
A skinny young man from Ohio
Went down to Louisiana's Bayou
He feasted on gumbo

althrasher
01-22-2008, 08:56 AM
A skinny young man from Ohio
Went down to Louisiana's Bayou
He feasted on gumbo
And shrimp small and jumbo

ona
01-22-2008, 12:13 PM
A skinny young man from Ohio
Went down to Louisiana's Bayou
He feasted on gumbo
And shrimp small and jumbo
And crab bisque, up to the wazoo
__________________

ona
01-22-2008, 02:35 PM
A gentleman wearing an orchid

HeronW
01-22-2008, 03:51 PM
A gentleman wearing an orchid
never showed up unescorted

Woof
01-22-2008, 05:27 PM
A gentleman wearing an orchid
never showed up unescorted
On each arm was a nymph

Kerr
01-22-2008, 07:51 PM
A gentleman wearing an orchid
never showed up unescorted
On each arm was a nymph
with magical imps

rosebud1981
01-22-2008, 11:54 PM
A gentleman wearing an orchid
never showed up unescorted
On each arm was a nymph
with magical imps
Whose memory was somewhat distorted.

A hairy old man named Jim

HeronW
01-22-2008, 11:56 PM
A hairy old man named Jim
went nude when taking a swim

Pthom
01-23-2008, 01:20 AM
A hairy old man named Jim
went nude when taking a swim
But nobody noticed

Nymtoc
01-23-2008, 02:00 AM
A hairy old man named Jim
went nude when taking a swim
But nobody noticed
This nonchalant floatist

HeronW
01-23-2008, 02:11 AM
A hairy old man named Jim
went nude when taking a swim
But nobody noticed
This nonchalant floatist
except the otter who loved him.

A flaminco dancer in purple

Kerr
01-23-2008, 02:16 AM
A flaminco dancer in purple
couldn't bend because of his girdle

Pthom
01-23-2008, 11:52 AM
A flaminco dancer in purple
Couldn't bend because of his girdle
It pinched where it shouldn't

Nymtoc
01-23-2008, 04:13 PM
A flaminco dancer in purple
Couldn't bend because of his girdle
It pinched where it shouldn't
But junk it? He couldn't

ona
01-23-2008, 04:31 PM
A flaminco dancer in purple
Couldn't bend because of his girdle
It pinched where it shouldn't
But junk it? He couldn't
Twas a kick, and that was the hurdle.

ona
01-23-2008, 04:33 PM
A true-loving wife in her forties

Sir_Nigel
01-23-2008, 05:32 PM
A true-loving wife in her forties
had a liking for guys who were shorties

HeronW
01-23-2008, 05:42 PM
A true-loving wife in her forties
had a liking for guys who were shorties
She wed seven dwarves

Kerr
01-23-2008, 06:28 PM
A true-loving wife in her forties
had a liking for guys who were shorties
She wed seven dwarves
'Cause at night they'd morph

HeronW
01-24-2008, 02:08 AM
A true-loving wife in her forties
had a liking for guys who were shorties
She wed seven dwarves
'Cause at night they'd morph
and simulate ravishing sorties.

A yeti sat, bemoaing his fate

Matera the Mad
01-24-2008, 09:12 AM
A yeti sat, bemoaning his fate.
"Alas," he said, "I must lose weight."

Albedo of Zero
01-24-2008, 09:23 AM
A yeti sat, bemoaning his fate.
"Alas," he said, "I must lose weight."
All the leaves from the tree

HeronW
01-24-2008, 01:39 PM
A yeti sat, bemoaning his fate.
"Alas," he said, "I must lose weight."
All the leaves from the tree
no longer cover me

ona
01-24-2008, 01:40 PM
I must leave what I once loved to ate

ona
01-24-2008, 01:41 PM
A debonair salesman with buck teeth

HeronW
01-24-2008, 01:48 PM
A debonair salesman with buck teeth
announced, "I've drunk from the River Lethe."

ona
01-24-2008, 05:58 PM
But still, I am here

rosebud1981
01-24-2008, 06:09 PM
A debonair salesman with buck teeth
announced, "I've drunk from the River Lethe."
"But still I am here,
though I've lost my left ear!

HeronW
01-24-2008, 08:57 PM
A debonair salesman with buck teeth
announced, "I've drunk from the River Lethe."
"But still I am here,
though I've lost my left ear!
so hand over the victory wreath!"

A mantichore once courted a sphynx

Pthom
01-24-2008, 11:02 PM
Too many syllables/beats. Allow me:

A mantichore courted a sphynx
(With a nose) but she wasn't a lynx

HeronW
01-25-2008, 12:50 AM
A mantichore courted a sphynx
(With a nose) but she wasn't a lynx
bringing fine flowers

onestepp
01-26-2008, 01:16 AM
A mantichore courted a sphinx
(With a nose) but she wasn't a lynx
bringing fine flowers
chocolate towers

Kerr
01-26-2008, 04:10 AM
A mantichore courted a sphinx
(With a nose) but she wasn't a lynx
bringing fine flowers
chocolate towers
and a sweet serenader in pinks.

When Scrooge McDuck counted money

rhymegirl
01-26-2008, 05:28 AM
When Scrooge McDuck counted money
He was watched by his gold-digger honey,

ona
01-26-2008, 12:42 PM
When Scrooge McDuck counted money
He was watched by his gold-digger honey,
The bigger his stack

Kerr
01-26-2008, 01:10 PM
When Scrooge McDuck counted money
He was watched by his gold-digger honey,
The bigger his stack
She would quack about lack

ona
01-26-2008, 01:21 PM
When Scrooge McDuck counted money
He was watched by his gold-digger honey,
The bigger his stack
She would quack about lack
Till he left her, for some fluffy bunny.

ona
01-26-2008, 01:21 PM
A serious chap, Archimedes

HeronW
01-26-2008, 07:07 PM
A serious chap, Archimedes
Got smarter by eating his Wheaties

ona
01-26-2008, 07:50 PM
A serious chap, Archimedes
Got smarter by eating his Wheaties
Though some felt that muesli

HeronW
01-27-2008, 03:16 AM
A serious chap, Archimedes
Got smarter by eating his Wheaties
Though some felt that muesli
would make him speak loosely

Kerr
01-27-2008, 03:59 AM
A serious chap, Archimedes
Got smarter by eating his Wheaties
Though some felt that muesli
would make him speak loosely
He died without any archenemies. (Ooo, not so good, eh?)

Whenever the fat man farted

Matera the Mad
01-27-2008, 10:27 AM
Whenever the fat man farted
His buns gave a fanfare full-hearted.

NickDangr
01-27-2008, 10:40 AM
Whenever the fat man farted
His buns gave a fanfare full-hearted.
One day, found him corked...

ona
01-27-2008, 11:01 AM
Whenever the fat man farted
His buns gave a fanfare full-hearted.
One day, found him corked...
For sure, his thing "rorked"

Pthom
01-27-2008, 11:40 AM
Whenever the fat man farted
His buns gave a fanfare full-hearted.
One day, found him corked...
For sure, his thing "rorked"
And he from his buttocks was parted.

There once was a pulp fiction author

ona
01-27-2008, 11:56 AM
There once was a pulp fiction author
Whose fear was travelling norther

HeronW
01-27-2008, 03:12 PM
There once was a pulp fiction author
Whose fear was travelling norther
he'd shut his eyes tight

ona
01-27-2008, 03:17 PM
There once was a pulp fiction author
Whose fear was travelling norther
he'd shut his eyes tight
And pulse through the flight

HeronW
01-27-2008, 03:25 PM
There once was a pulp fiction author
Whose fear was travelling norther
he'd shut his eyes tight
And pulse through the flight
as he screamed loud, 'It's such a bother!'

A slinky young gryphon once pouted

ona
01-27-2008, 03:31 PM
A slinky young gryphon once pouted
Thinking that he'd been outed

NickDangr
01-27-2008, 07:26 PM
A slinky young gryphon once pouted
Thinking that he'd been outed
He sobbed, with a tear...

ona
01-27-2008, 07:32 PM
Twas simply the beer

HeronW
01-27-2008, 07:33 PM
A slinky young gryphon once pouted
Thinking that he'd been outed
He sobbed, with a tear...
"Twas simply the beer
my sexiness I never doubted!"

There once was a harpy from Greece

Kerr
01-27-2008, 11:48 PM
There once was a harpy from Greece
Who flapped as she scrapped over cheese

HeronW
01-28-2008, 12:55 AM
There once was a harpy from Greece
Who flapped as she scrapped over cheese
This isn't quite fair

Kerr
01-28-2008, 04:50 AM
There once was a harpy from Greece
Who flapped as she scrapped over cheese
This isn't quite fair
Being ugly and bare

ona
01-28-2008, 01:26 PM
There once was a harpy from Greece
Who flapped as she scrapped over cheese
This isn't quite fair
Being ugly and bare
What I'd give to look like a Matisse !

A graceful young person named Percy

HeronW
01-28-2008, 08:25 PM
A graceful young person named Percy
Was known for crying out 'O, merci!'

ona
01-29-2008, 03:20 PM
A graceful young person named Percy
Was known for crying out 'O, merci!'
With a dab of cologne

rosebud1981
01-29-2008, 07:29 PM
A graceful young person named Percy
Was known for crying out 'O, merci!'
With a dab of cologne
And a sensual groan

talkwrite
01-29-2008, 08:45 PM
A graceful young person named Percy
Was known for crying out 'O, merci!'
With a dab of cologne
And a sensual groan
Thus became the ultimate patsy.

A man with no home wrote a sign

donroc
01-29-2008, 09:52 PM
But the letters he couldn't align

HeronW
01-30-2008, 12:19 AM
A man with no home wrote a sign
But the letters he couldn't align
he wrote and he cursed

Pthom
01-30-2008, 07:21 AM
A man with no home wrote a sign
But the letters he couldn't align
he wrote and he cursed
"Help! My fountain pen burst!"

ona
01-30-2008, 07:35 AM
A man with no home wrote a sign
But the letters he couldn't align
he wrote and he cursed
"Help! My fountain pen burst!
I guess I'm no good at design"


A creaky old dame, near fifty

tinselcleo
01-30-2008, 07:50 AM
A creaky old dame, near fifty
Saved all her dimes and was thrifty

ona
01-30-2008, 07:56 AM
A creaky old dame, near fifty
Saved all her dimes and was thrifty
But no matter how much

tinselcleo
01-30-2008, 08:09 AM
A creaky old dame, near fifty
Saved all her dimes and was thrifty
But no matter how much
She just couldn't touch

HeronW
01-30-2008, 01:51 PM
A creaky old dame, near fifty
Saved all her dimes and was thrifty
But no matter how much
She just couldn't touch
The Hope Diamond, it's so nifty!

A frantic young lady from Paris

rosebud1981
01-30-2008, 05:07 PM
A frantic young lady from Paris
Eloped with a man called Jarvis

donroc
01-30-2008, 05:20 PM
A frantic young lady from Paris
Eloped with a man called Jarvis
A man past his prime

tinselcleo
01-30-2008, 07:37 PM
A frantic young lady from Paris
Eloped with a man called Jarvis
A man past his prime
Was running out of time

HeronW
01-30-2008, 07:52 PM
A frantic young lady from Paris
Eloped with a man called Jarvis
A man past his prime
Was running out of time
They put on his stone, here lies Harris.

A hungry young cannibal once said

tinselcleo
01-30-2008, 07:53 PM
A hungry young cannibal once said
before you know it, you will be dead

tinselcleo
01-30-2008, 07:54 PM
A hungry young cannibal once said
before you know it, you will be dead
He took out his spoon

rosebud1981
01-31-2008, 12:46 AM
A hungry young cannibal once said
before you know it, you will be dead
He took out his spoon
And grinned like a loon

HeronW
01-31-2008, 03:17 AM
A hungry young cannibal once said
before you know it, you will be dead
He took out his spoon
And grinned like a loon
then made sure his tummy was fed.

A T-rex once courted a dino

tinselcleo
01-31-2008, 03:20 AM
who wore a red dress and looked so fine-o

HeronW
01-31-2008, 04:02 AM
A T-rex once courted a dino
who wore a red dress and looked so fine-o
"Will you please be mine?

K1P1
01-31-2008, 04:20 AM
A T-rex once courted a dino
who wore a red dress and looked so fine-o
"Will you please be mine?
He asked with a whine.

Pat~
01-31-2008, 04:53 AM
A T-rex once courted a dino
who wore a red dress and looked so fine-o
"Will you please be mine?"
He asked with a whine,
"You're cuter than Rhea the rhino."

My writing has gone to the dogs

Albedo of Zero
01-31-2008, 05:19 AM
My writing has gone to the dogs
who have run away hunting for frogs

tinselcleo
01-31-2008, 05:31 AM
It's actually quite scary

Matera the Mad
01-31-2008, 06:33 AM
My writing has gone to the dogs
who have run away hunting for frogs
It's actually quite scary
those frogs can be hairy

kellytijer
01-31-2008, 07:55 AM
My writing has gone to the dogs
who have run away hunting for frogs
It's actually quite scary
those frogs can be hairy
And make the dogs shit great big logs



My dog sheds all over the carpet

ona
01-31-2008, 08:24 AM
My dog sheds all over the carpet
I just don't deserve such a varmit

Kerr
01-31-2008, 08:54 AM
My dog sheds all over the carpet
I just don't deserve such a varmit
I vacuum all day

tinselcleo
01-31-2008, 07:04 PM
My dog sheds all over the carpet
I just don't deserve such a varmit
I vacuum all day
And don't get to play

HeronW
02-01-2008, 01:10 AM
My dog sheds all over the carpet
I just don't deserve such a varmit
I vacuum all day
And don't get to play
I'd have more free time in a tar pit.

A stuffy young lad named McGreavy

tinselcleo
02-01-2008, 04:04 AM
A stuffy young lad named McGreavy
Shouted,"Why does no one believe me?"

ona
02-01-2008, 07:55 AM
A stuffy young lad named McGreavy
Shouted,"Why does no one believe me?"
When I say that I love

Sir_Nigel
02-01-2008, 03:30 PM
A stuffy young lad named McGreavy
Shouted,"Why does no one believe me?"
When I say that I love
such a cute little dove

HeronW
02-01-2008, 04:21 PM
A stuffy young lad named McGreavy
Shouted,"Why does no one believe me?"
When I say that I love
such a cute little dove
They just up and leave me!"

A sainted old bitty named Martha

tinselcleo
02-01-2008, 07:42 PM
A sainted old bitty named Martha
Kept spouting aliens were attacking from Zartha

HeronW
02-01-2008, 07:45 PM
A sainted old bitty named Martha
Kept spouting aliens were attacking from Zartha
no one believed her

tinselcleo
02-01-2008, 08:37 PM
A sainted old bitty named Martha
Kept spouting aliens were attacking from Zartha
no one believed her
So she hopped a four-wheeler

Verballady
02-02-2008, 03:02 AM
A sainted old bitty named Martha
Kept spouting aliens were attacking from Zartha
no one believed her
So she hopped a four-wheeler
And collected samples of their barfa.

There once was a witch names Winifred

tinselcleo
02-02-2008, 04:35 AM
There once was a witch named Winifred
who loved to bake her own pumpkin bread

Woof
02-02-2008, 06:25 AM
There once was a witch named Winifred
who loved to bake her own pumpkin bread
She kneaded her dough

Kerr
02-02-2008, 07:49 AM
There once was a witch named Winifred
who loved to bake her own pumpkin bread
She kneaded her dough
Said, "Presto-chango!"

onestepp
02-02-2008, 08:52 AM
There once was a witch named Winifred
who loved to bake her own pumpkin bread
She kneaded her dough
Said, Presto-chango"
Pumpkin treats on table were spread


There once was a tiger with spots

ona
02-02-2008, 04:15 PM
There once was a tiger with spots
Who guarded some vacant lots

Kerr
02-02-2008, 05:46 PM
There once was a tiger with spots
Who guarded some vacant lots
He'd roar with delight

ona
02-02-2008, 06:27 PM
There once was a tiger with spots
Who guarded some vacant lots
He'd roar with delight
In the dead of the night

HeronW
02-02-2008, 06:50 PM
There once was a tiger with spots
Who guarded some vacant lots
He'd roar with delight
In the dead of the night
then he'd play and connect his dots.

A sinister gent name of Murphy

ona
02-02-2008, 08:02 PM
A sinister gent name of Murphy
Was a master of the furphy *

(*Australianism - see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furphy )

HeronW
02-02-2008, 08:18 PM
A sinister gent name of Murphy
Was a master of the furphy *
he'd lie and mislead

ona
02-02-2008, 08:39 PM
A sinister gent name of Murphy
Was a master of the furphy *
he'd lie and mislead'
spin yarns and succeed

tinselcleo
02-03-2008, 08:39 AM
A sinister gent name of Murphy
Was a master of the furphy *
he'd lie and mislead'
spin yarns and succeed
And in the end, always go buy a slurpee!


A really cute kitty cat named Tinsel

Matera the Mad
02-03-2008, 09:50 AM
A really cute kitty cat named Tinsel
Had fleas, and he always scratched himsel

HeronW
02-03-2008, 01:53 PM
A really cute kitty cat named Tinsel
Had fleas, and he always scratched himsel
he took a flea bath

K1P1
02-03-2008, 04:54 PM
A really cute kitty named Tinsel
Had fleas and always scratched himsel'.
He took a flea bath
In the dusty path

NickDangr
02-03-2008, 06:25 PM
A really cute kitty named Tinsel
Had fleas and always scratched himsel'.
He took a flea bath
In the dusty path
And left the biters in the dirt, back in dustville.



Freddy woke every morning with migraines,...

Woof
02-03-2008, 08:02 PM
Freddy woke every morning with migraines
And unbearably painful thigh pains

HeronW
02-03-2008, 10:49 PM
Freddy woke every morning with migraines
And unbearably painful thigh pains
he bitched and he moaned

tinselcleo
02-04-2008, 08:52 AM
Freddy woke every morning with migraines
And unbearably painful thigh pains
he bitched and he moaned
Until mucho money he was loaned

HeronW
02-04-2008, 11:02 PM
Freddy woke every morning with migraines
And unbearably painful thigh pains
he bitched and he moaned
Until mucho money he was loaned
So he moved to uninhabited plains.

A werewolf named Theo tried to shave

talkwrite
02-04-2008, 11:25 PM
A werewolf named Theo tried to shave
so the striking writers would behave

Woof
02-05-2008, 01:39 AM
A werewolf named Theo tried to shave
so the striking writers would behave
And in the full moon

HeronW
02-05-2008, 02:21 AM
A werewolf named Theo tried to shave
so the striking writers would behave
And in the full moon
he'd whine and he'd croon

Matera the Mad
02-05-2008, 06:51 AM
A werewolf named Theo tried to shave
so the striking writers would behave
And in the full moon
he'd whine and he'd croon
like a perfect besotted love-slave

----------

A grouchy old bletch named Matera

HeronW
02-05-2008, 03:21 PM
A grouchy old bletch named Matera
was always ruining her mascera

ona
02-05-2008, 03:54 PM
A grouchy old bletch named Matera
was always ruining her mascera
Her dabs made it worse

rosebud1981
02-05-2008, 05:29 PM
A grouchy old bletch named Matera
was always ruining her mascera
Her dabs made it worse
And boy did she curse

talkwrite
02-06-2008, 01:16 AM
A grouchy old bletch named Matera
was always ruining her mascara
Her dabs made it worse
And boy did she curse
She was banned from Revlon forever

An old wizard had grown quite depressed

HeronW
02-06-2008, 02:02 AM
An old wizard had grown quite depressed
his old rival he never could best

tinselcleo
02-06-2008, 03:41 AM
An old wizard had grown quite depressed
his old rival he never could best
So he learned a new trick

HeronW
02-06-2008, 03:43 AM
An old wizard had grown quite depressed
his old rival he never could best
So he learned a new trick
with help from Old Nick

talkwrite
02-06-2008, 07:37 PM
An old wizard had grown quite depressed
his old rival he never could best
So he learned a new trick
with help from Old Nick
and a new attitude he found success.


A poet dreamed of a unique rose

Woof
02-06-2008, 07:45 PM
A poet dreamed of a unique rose
That grew between his dirty toes

talkwrite
02-06-2008, 08:04 PM
A poet dreamed of a unique rose
That grew between his dirty toes
Light chartreuse in color