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rhymegirl
01-02-2008, 04:01 PM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who sometimes unfurled her green banner
It left her bemused
(and that means confused),

oneblindmouse
01-02-2008, 04:46 PM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who sometimes unfurled her green banner
It left her bemused
(and that means confused),
so she upped and left Alabama

HeronW
01-02-2008, 05:02 PM
There once was a moppet named Millie
whose exclamations came out quite silly

Sir_Nigel
01-02-2008, 06:27 PM
There once was a moppet named Millie
whose exclamations came out quite silly
‘Hot dang diddley doo!’

Nymtoc
01-02-2008, 06:34 PM
There once was a moppet named Millie
whose exclamations came out quite silly
‘Hot dang diddley doo!’
and 'Fiddledy foo!'

Sir_Nigel
01-02-2008, 06:37 PM
There once was a moppet named Millie
whose exclamations came out quite silly
‘Hot dang diddley doo!’
and 'Fiddledy foo!'
Which sprang from her lips willy nilly

Nymtoc
01-02-2008, 06:42 PM
There once was a moppet named Millie
whose exclamations came out quite silly
‘Hot dang diddley doo!’
and 'Fiddledy foo!'

HeronW
01-02-2008, 08:58 PM
A lady faire in a wagon
called out to a plaid dragon

oneblindmouse
01-02-2008, 10:03 PM
A lady faire in a wagon
called out to a plaid dragon
"You horrible lizard!

rosebud1981
01-02-2008, 11:27 PM
A lady faire in a wagon
called out to a plaid dragon
"You horrible lizard!
"You stepped on the wizard!

oneblindmouse
01-02-2008, 11:34 PM
A lady faire in a wagon
called out to a plaid dragon
"You horrible lizard!
"You stepped on the wizard!
So now take a drink from my flagon!"

The dragon replied "What the heck!

Woof
01-03-2008, 12:03 AM
The dragon replied "What the heck!
I think it's time to go high tech"

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 12:08 AM
The dragon replied "What the heck!
I think it's time to go high tech"
Then grabbing his gun

Woof
01-03-2008, 12:13 AM
The dragon replied "What the heck!
I think it's time to go high tech"
Then grabbing his gun
He started to run

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 12:18 AM
The dragon replied "What the heck!
I think it's time to go high tech"
Then grabbing his gun
He started to run
But ended up stabbed in the neck.

The damsel then burst into tears

Woof
01-03-2008, 12:29 AM
The damsel then burst into tears
Because of the dragon's vile leers

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 12:40 AM
The damsel then burst into tears
Because of the dragon's vile leers
She wept and she moaned

Woof
01-03-2008, 12:44 AM
The damsel then burst into tears
Because of the dragon's vile leers
She wept and she moaned
He sneered and he groaned

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 12:52 AM
The damsel then burst into tears
Because of the dragon's vile leers
She wept and she moaned
He sneered and he groaned
While people watched, chugging down beers.

;)

"Let's greet the New Year," said the mule.

Woof
01-03-2008, 01:02 AM
"Let's greet the New Year," said the mule
"By daring the horse to a duel"

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 01:04 AM
"Let's greet the New Year," said the mule
"By daring the horse to a duel"
He ran to the stable

Woof
01-03-2008, 01:08 AM
Let's greet the New Year," said the mule
"By daring the horse to a duel"
He ran to the stable
Where the horse was at table

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 01:13 AM
"Let's greet the New Year," said the mule
"By daring the horse to a duel"
He ran to the stable
Where the horse was at table
But horsey just laughed at the fool.

:)

There was an old man with a beard

Woof
01-03-2008, 01:17 AM
There was an old man with a beard
Who slept with a goat he had reared

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 01:21 AM
There was an old man with a beard
Who slept with a goat he had reared
And while they were sleeping

Woof
01-03-2008, 01:24 AM
There was an old man with a beard
Who slept with a goat he had reared
And while they were sleeping
A neighbor was peeping

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 01:27 AM
There was an old man with a beard
Who slept with a goat he had reared
And while they were sleeping
A neighbor was peeping
But he'll never tell--he's too skeered.

:crazy:

The girl with the lavender hair

Pthom
01-03-2008, 01:30 AM
The girl with the lavender hair
Once tried a product like Nair.

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 01:36 AM
The girl with the lavender hair
Once tried a product like Nair.
Her hair all fell out

Woof
01-03-2008, 01:38 AM
The girl with the lavender hair
Once tried a product like Nair.
Her hair all fell out
And she grew a snout

rhymegirl
01-03-2008, 04:03 AM
The girl with the lavender hair
Once tried a product like Nair.
Her hair all fell out
And she grew a snout
And boy do the guys point and stare!


A man with a fuzzy, broad chest

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 07:54 AM
A man with a fuzzy, broad chest
Thought that women would vote him the best

Kerr
01-03-2008, 08:40 AM
A man with a fuzzy, broad chest
Thought that women would vote him the best
If he tucked in his gut

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 09:38 AM
A man with a fuzzy, broad chest
Thought that women would vote him the best
If he tucked in his gut
and padded his butt

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 12:43 PM
A man with a fuzzy, broad chest
Thought that women would vote him the best
If he tucked in his gut
and padded his butt
but the ladies all took him in jest.

So dyeing his hair royal blue

dancingandflying
01-03-2008, 01:20 PM
so dyeing his hair royal blue
didn't even give him a clue

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 01:30 PM
so dyeing his hair royal blue
didn't even give him a clue.
He got on a plane

Writer???
01-03-2008, 04:50 PM
so dyeing his hair royal blue
didn't even give him a clue.
He got on a plane
looking very inane

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 04:53 PM
so dyeing his hair royal blue
didn't even give him a clue.
He got on a plane
looking very inane
but hiding a bomb in his shoe.

My daughter just finished her work

Woof
01-03-2008, 05:09 PM
My daughter just finished her work
Then went absolutely beserk

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 05:43 PM
My daughter just finished her work
Then went absolutely beserk
She climbed up a tree

Woof
01-03-2008, 05:46 PM
My daughter just finished her work
Then went absolutely beserk
She climbed up a tree
Eating some Brie

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 05:48 PM
My daughter just finished her work
Then went absolutely beserk
She climbed up a tree
Eating some Brie
But decided to cut short her lurk.

I now have to go get my lunch

Woof
01-03-2008, 05:50 PM
A gargoyle, a ghost and a ghoul
Went into town to shoot some pool

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 05:52 PM
Oi! My line about lunch was intended as the first line of the next limerick!!!!

Nymtoc
01-03-2008, 06:00 PM
(You're right, oneblindmouse, I came in late with my "gargoyle" line, which is why I deleted it, probably before Woof realized I had done so. Let's go with your "lunch" line.)

I now have to go get my lunch
I'll die without something to munch

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 06:02 PM
I now have to go get my lunch
I'll die without something to munch
But hubby's made stew

Sir_Nigel
01-03-2008, 06:09 PM
I now have to go get my lunch
I'll die without something to munch
But hubby's made stew
Made of horse bones – like glue

Woof
01-03-2008, 06:14 PM
I now have to go get my lunch
I'll die without something to munch
But hubby's made stew
Made of horse bones – like glue
They're chewy but do have some crunch.



Last night an owl flew inside

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 06:52 PM
Last night an owl flew inside
In search of his runaway bride

HeronW
01-03-2008, 07:03 PM
Last night an owl flew inside
In search of his runaway bride
I don't give a hoot

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 07:59 PM
Last night an owl flew inside
In search of his runaway bride
I don't give a hoot
She's out on a toot

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 08:01 PM
Last night an owl flew inside
In search of his runaway bride
I don't give a hoot
She's out on a toot
And cannot now damage my pride.

Right now there's a dog that is howling

talkwrite
01-03-2008, 08:09 PM
Right now there's a dog that is howling
To be noticed by J.K. Rowling

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 08:12 PM
Right now there's a dog that is howling
To be noticed by J.K. Rowling
But she is too far

talkwrite
01-03-2008, 08:18 PM
Right now there's a dog that is howling
To be noticed by J.K. Rowling
But she is too far
Such a literary star

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 08:26 PM
Right now there's a dog that is howling
To be noticed by J.K. Rowling
But she is too far
Such a literary star
And cares not for animals growling.

The fun of this limerick thread

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 08:29 PM
The fun of this limerick thread
Is the word search inside your head

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 08:32 PM
The fun of this limerick thread
Is the word search inside your head
And the rhyming at speed

talkwrite
01-03-2008, 08:37 PM
The fun of this limerick thread
Is the word search inside your head
And the rhyming at speed
It's time well spent, indeed !

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 09:01 PM
The fun of this limerick thread
Is the word search inside your head
And the rhyming at speed
It's time well spent, indeed !
And much better than staying in bed.

The problem, however, with threads

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 11:00 PM
The problem, however, with threads
Is someone jumps in ahead

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 11:05 PM
The problem, however, with threads
Is someone jumps in ahead
I try to be fast

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 11:06 PM
The problem, however, with threads
Is someone jumps in ahead
I try to be fast
Yet sometimes I'm last

oneblindmouse
01-03-2008, 11:11 PM
The problem, however, with threads
Is someone jumps in ahead
I try to be fast
Yet sometimes I'm last
In hitting the keys on the head.

Tomorrow I'm starting a diet

Joycecwilliams
01-03-2008, 11:21 PM
Tomorrow I'm starting a diet
I am hoping my friends will buy it.

rhymegirl
01-04-2008, 12:40 AM
Tomorrow I'm starting a diet
I am hoping my friends will buy it,
If not, I don't care,

talkwrite
01-04-2008, 01:41 AM
Tomorrow I'm starting a diet
I am hoping my friends will buy it,
If not, I don't care,
I'll endure the stares

Pthom
01-04-2008, 06:16 AM
Tomorrow I'm starting a diet
I am hoping my friends will buy it,
If not, I don't care,
I'll endure the stares
But tonight give me pork: I will fry it!

Oh when will this ever be done?

Sir_Nigel
01-04-2008, 12:28 PM
Oh when will this ever be done?
This rhyming addiction’s no fun

oneblindmouse
01-04-2008, 02:09 PM
Oh when will this ever be done?
This rhyming addiction’s no fun
It's highly frustrating

Sir_Nigel
01-04-2008, 04:56 PM
Oh when will this ever be done?
This rhyming addiction’s no fun
It's highly frustrating
When you’re sitting there waiting

Woof
01-04-2008, 05:14 PM
Oh when will this ever be done?
This rhyming addiction’s no fun
It's highly frustrating
When you’re sitting there waiting
Until there arises the sun.



An extra-terrestrial being

oneblindmouse
01-04-2008, 06:00 PM
An extra-terrestrial being
Who every so often went fleeing

Woof
01-04-2008, 06:09 PM
An extra-terrestrial being
Who every so often went fleeing
Landed on Earth

HeronW
01-04-2008, 06:30 PM
An extra-terrestrial being
Who every so often went fleeing
Landed on Earth
for what it's worth

Pthom
01-05-2008, 12:37 AM
An extra-terrestrial being
Who every so often went fleeing
Landed on Earth
And for what it's worth
Became very good at sight seeing.

'Cept he couldn't see in the dark

Woof
01-05-2008, 01:06 AM
'Cept he couldn't see in the dark
And walked into a trailer park

rhymegirl
01-05-2008, 01:39 AM
'Cept he couldn't see in the dark
And walked into a trailer park,
and someone grabbed him

talkwrite
01-05-2008, 02:34 AM
'Cept he couldn't see in the dark
And walked into a trailer park,
and someone grabbed him
And bruised both his shins

HeronW
01-05-2008, 02:41 AM
so much for going out on a lark.

talkwrite
01-05-2008, 03:05 AM
Taking advantage of HeronW's default:

For those who forfeit in a limerick

Pthom
01-05-2008, 03:36 AM
For those who forfeit in a limerick
And forget to put prompts up like, real quick

oneblindmouse
01-05-2008, 02:40 PM
For those who forfeit in a limerick
And forget to put prompts up like, real quick,
The punishment is
__________________

Woof
01-05-2008, 06:23 PM
For those who forfeit in a limerick
And forget to put prompts up like, real quick,
The punishment is
An AW quiz

talkwrite
01-05-2008, 10:23 PM
For those who forfeit in a limerick
And forget to put prompts up like, real quick,
The punishment is
An AW quiz
Who is the best writer of us all, now pick!


During a candidate's first trip to New Hampshire

HeronW
01-05-2008, 10:57 PM
During a candidate's first trip to New Hampshire
he stood pro-life, pro-execution, anti-fur

Pthom
01-06-2008, 05:10 AM
Whoa, folks! This:
During a candidate's first trip to New Hampshire
he stood pro-life, pro-execution, anti-fur while it might be the beginnings of a fine humorous poem, doesn't meet the requirements of a limerick. With very few exceptions, the first two lines, and the last, should contain nine syllables.

One possible solution for the above is:
A candidate went to New Hampshire
Where he was pro-life, but anti-furBut don't take my revisions. Fix it yourselves ;)

Kerr
01-06-2008, 06:25 AM
Whoa, folks! This: while it might be the beginnings of a fine humorous poem, doesn't meet the requirements of a limerick. With very few exceptions, the first two lines, and the last, should contain nine syllables.

One possible solution for the above is:
A candidate went to New Hampshire
Where he was pro-life, but anti-furBut don't take my revisions. Fix it yourselves ;)

NINE? :tongue

A candidate went to New Hampshire
Where he was pro-life, but anti-fur
What he didn't know

Nymtoc
01-06-2008, 08:23 AM
A candidate went to New Hampshire
Where he was pro-life, but anti-fur
What he didn't know
Was that deep in the snow

choppersmom
01-06-2008, 08:30 AM
A candidate went to New Hampshire
Where he was pro-life, but anti-fur
What he didn't know
Was that deep in the snow
Was a female socialist vulture.

There was an old lady from Boston

Joycecwilliams
01-06-2008, 10:52 AM
There was an old lady from Boston
Who wore only clothes by Halston

HeronW
01-06-2008, 03:16 PM
There was an old lady from Boston
Who wore only clothes by Halston
I could never be moved

Pthom
01-07-2008, 01:40 AM
There was an old lady from Boston
Who wore only clothes [made] by Halston
I could never be moved
Or my wardrobe improved

choppersmom
01-07-2008, 05:02 AM
There was an old lady from Boston
Who wore only clothes [made] by Halston
I could never be moved
Or my wardrobe improved
So I'll only eat kibble from Ralston.

On a rocket ship far, far away

Joycecwilliams
01-07-2008, 05:57 AM
On a rocket ship far, far away
A man and woman did play

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 02:21 PM
On a rocket ship far, far away
A man and woman did play
At doctors and nurses

HeronW
01-07-2008, 02:59 PM
On a rocket ship far, far away
A man and woman did play
At doctors and nurses
zero gee caused curses

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 03:04 PM
On a rocket ship far, far away
A man and woman did play
At doctors and nurses
zero gee caused curses
when having a romp in the hay

A man with a very long nose

HeronW
01-07-2008, 03:06 PM
A man with a very long nose
kept getting it stuck in his clothes

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2008, 03:20 PM
A man with a very long nose
kept getting it stuck in his clothes
it was trapped in his zipper

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 03:23 PM
A man with a very long nose
kept getting it stuck in his clothes
it was trapped in his zipper
where it stank like a kipper

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2008, 04:56 PM
A man with a very long nose
kept getting it stuck in his clothes
it was trapped in his zipper
where it stank like a kipper
But the ladies all cried ‘Thar she blows!’


Whilst fondling a buttock in Rome

Woof
01-07-2008, 05:43 PM
Whilst fondling a buttock in Rome
A man began writing a poem

Sir_Nigel
01-07-2008, 06:22 PM
Whilst fondling a buttock in Rome
A man began writing a poem -
He whipped out his quill

talkwrite
01-07-2008, 09:46 PM
Whilst fondling a buttock in Rome
A man began writing a poem -
He whipped out his quill
His feelings he spilled

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 09:53 PM
Whilst fondling a buttock in Rome
A man began writing a poem -
He whipped out his quill
His feelings he spilled
While deftly his fingers did roam.

The buttock in question was large

Joycecwilliams
01-07-2008, 09:57 PM
The buttock in question was large
reminding myself of a barge

talkwrite
01-07-2008, 10:00 PM
The buttock in question was large
reminding myself of a barge
Though on a treadmill

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 10:08 PM
The buttock in question was large
reminding myself of a barge
Though on a treadmill
I wondered if Fred will

talkwrite
01-07-2008, 10:12 PM
The buttock in question was large
reminding myself of a barge
Though on a treadmill
I wondered if Fred will
salute when he next calls me "Sarge"

A journalist once ventured to say

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 10:21 PM
A journalist once ventured to say
"I think the Prime Minister is gay."

PattiTheWicked
01-07-2008, 11:03 PM
A journalist once ventured to say
"I think the Prime Minister is gay."
His readers astonished,

oneblindmouse
01-07-2008, 11:12 PM
A journalist once ventured to say
"I think the Prime Minister is gay."
His readers astonished,
Cried "This man is honest!"

Kerr
01-08-2008, 12:24 AM
A journalist once ventured to say
"I think the Prime Minister is gay."
His readers astonished,
Cried "This man is honest!"
"Who cares what's his preference, eh?"

When Horace the horsey neighed

HeronW
01-08-2008, 12:28 AM
When Horace the horsey neighed
each mare within miles strayed

otterman
01-08-2008, 12:33 AM
When Horace the horsey neighed
each mare within miles strayed
He'd ruffle his mane

Woof
01-08-2008, 01:24 AM
When Horace the horsey neighed
each mare within miles strayed
He'd ruffle his mane
And stretch his rein

Joycecwilliams
01-08-2008, 01:42 AM
When Horace the horsey neighed
each mare within miles strayed
He'd ruffle his mane
And stretch his rein
You could hear the old nags bay


There once was a man from Ohio

Nymtoc
01-08-2008, 01:47 AM
There once was a man from Ohio
Who fell off his roof--"Me-oh-my-oh!"

Woof
01-08-2008, 01:50 AM
There once was a man from Ohio
Who fell off his roof--"Me-oh-my-oh!"
He broke his pelvis

Nymtoc
01-08-2008, 02:45 AM
There once was a man from Ohio
Who fell off his roof--"Me-oh-my-oh!"
He broke his pelvis
While channeling Elvis

Pthom
01-08-2008, 05:43 AM
There once was a man from Ohio
Who fell off his roof--"Me-oh-my-oh!"
He broke his pelvis
While channeling Elvis
And now has a diet of Jell-O

While watching my team lose the game

Joycecwilliams
01-08-2008, 07:07 AM
While watching my team lose the game
I cursed and called them the name

Sir_Nigel
01-08-2008, 03:01 PM
While watching my team lose the game
I cursed and called them the name
I was joined by some othersuckers

HeronW
01-08-2008, 08:10 PM
While watching my team lose the game
I cursed and called them the name
I was joined by some othersuckers
eating breakfast at Fudruckers

talkwrite
01-08-2008, 08:56 PM
While watching my team lose the game
I cursed and called them the name
I was joined by some othersuckers
eating breakfast at Fudruckers
silently, our heads hung in shame

There once was a writer from Alaska

Nymtoc
01-08-2008, 10:12 PM
There once was a writer from Alaska
Who wished that she lived in Nebraska

Woof
01-08-2008, 10:55 PM
There once was a writer from Alaska
Who wished that she lived in Nebraska
A polar bear bit her

Kerr
01-09-2008, 03:08 AM
There once was a writer from Alaska
Who wished that she lived in Nebraska
A polar bear bit her,
Balked, then it kissed her

Nymtoc
01-09-2008, 03:36 AM
There once was a writer from Alaska
Who wished that she lived in Nebraska
A polar bear bit her,
Balked, then it kissed her
And they ended up eating marasca.

:e2coffee:

An aging lothario from Pisa

Kerr
01-09-2008, 06:59 AM
An aging lothario from Pisa
said "M'Dear, I'm really a sleaza.

Woof
01-09-2008, 05:26 PM
An aging lothario from Pisa
said "M'Dear, I'm really a sleaza.
I pinch every bum

PattiTheWicked
01-09-2008, 06:01 PM
An aging lothario from Pisa
said "M'Dear, I'm really a sleaza.
I pinch every bum
and I'm all soaked in rum

Woof
01-09-2008, 06:09 PM
An aging lothario from Pisa
said "M'Dear, I'm really a sleaza.
I pinch every bum
and I'm all soaked in rum
I just hope the brothel takes Visa"



There once was a ghost who was fat

Sir_Nigel
01-09-2008, 06:50 PM
There once was a ghost who was fat
Whose name was Dead Corpulent Pat

HeronW
01-09-2008, 07:25 PM
There once was a ghost who was fat
Whose name was Dead Corpulent Pat
He haunted the Thames

onestepp
01-10-2008, 12:14 AM
There once was a ghost who was fat
whose name was Dead Corpulent Pat
He haunted the thames
in yellow-blue flames

Woof
01-10-2008, 12:24 AM
There once was a ghost who was fat
whose name was Dead Corpulent Pat
He haunted the thames
in yellow-blue flames
Where he belched and farted and spat.



A sheep was allergic to wool

HeronW
01-10-2008, 12:58 AM
A sheep was allergic to wool
and at his own curls he would pull

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 01:31 AM
A sheep was allergic to wool
and at his own curls he would pull
He coughed and he sneezed

HeronW
01-10-2008, 01:46 AM
A sheep was allergic to wool
and at his own curls he would pull
He coughed and he sneezed
he hacked and he wheezed

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 02:09 AM
A sheep was allergic to wool
and at his own curls he would pull
He coughed and he sneezed
he hacked and he wheezed
until along came a bull.

A duck with a very loud quack

Pthom
01-10-2008, 02:15 AM
A duck with a very loud quack
Had his bill and his feet painted black

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 02:21 AM
A duck with a very loud quack
Had his bill and his feet painted black
His feathers he dyed

Joycecwilliams
01-10-2008, 07:36 AM
A duck with a very loud quack
Had his bill and his feet painted black
His feathers he dyed
He was living a lie

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 12:12 PM
A duck with a very loud quack
Had his bill and his feet painted black
His feathers he dyed
He was living a lie
A habit of which he'd the knack.

Two penguins were plodding on ice

Meaney
01-10-2008, 12:25 PM
A duck with a very loud quack
Had his bill and his feet painted black
His feathers he dyed
He was living a lie
by pretending to be a knick-knack.

By mixing shampoo and cement

Meaney
01-10-2008, 12:26 PM
Two penguins were plodding on ice
When one gave the other advice:

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 12:46 PM
Two penguins were plodding on ice
When one gave the other advice
"You shouldn't flip-flop

HeronW
01-10-2008, 02:32 PM
Two penguins were plodding on ice
When one gave the other advice
"You shouldn't flip-flop
this waddling must stop

oneblindmouse
01-10-2008, 04:04 PM
Two penguins were plodding on ice
When one gave the other advice
"You shouldn't flip-flop
this waddling must stop
or else you'll fall flat on your fice."

A polar bear hearing their spat

Sir_Nigel
01-10-2008, 05:10 PM
A polar bear hearing their spat,
whilst trying on a large feathered hat

Woof
01-10-2008, 05:17 PM
A polar bear hearing their spat,
whilst trying on a large feathered hat
Posed in the mirror

talkwrite
01-11-2008, 12:14 AM
A polar bear hearing their spat,
whilst trying on a large feathered hat
Posed in the mirror
recoiling in fear

Pthom
01-11-2008, 01:50 AM
A polar bear hearing their spat,
whilst trying on a large feathered hat
Posed in the mirror
recoiling in fear
Because he'd gotten so fat.

The giant moved out of Atlantis

Nymtoc
01-11-2008, 02:57 AM
The giant moved out of Atlantis
Looking just as enraged as his rant is

Joycecwilliams
01-11-2008, 07:34 AM
The giant moved out of Atlantis
Looking just as enraged as his rant is
He moved to Beruit

oneblindmouse
01-11-2008, 03:25 PM
The giant moved out of Atlantis
Looking just as enraged as his rant is
He moved to Beirut
And bought a white suit

Sir_Nigel
01-11-2008, 05:19 PM
The giant moved out of Atlantis
Looking just as enraged as his rant is
He moved to Beirut
And bought a white suit
which he wore with some frilly pink panties.


Two zombies were having a chat

Nymtoc
01-11-2008, 05:33 PM
Two zombies were having a chat
About why they never got fat

Woof
01-11-2008, 05:45 PM
Two zombies were having a chat
About why they never got fat
They pigged out on flesh

Nymtoc
01-11-2008, 05:53 PM
Two zombies were having a chat
About why they never got fat
They pigged out on flesh
Both rotten and fresh

Woof
01-11-2008, 06:09 PM
Two zombies were having a chat
About why they never got fat
They pigged out on flesh
Both rotten and fresh
But their sallow abs remained flat.



Young Frankenstein was so lonely

HeronW
01-11-2008, 08:06 PM
Young Frankenstein was so lonely
he'd misplaced his one and only

Woof
01-12-2008, 01:16 AM
Young Frankenstein was so lonely
he'd misplaced his one and only
So he built her from scratch

Pthom
01-12-2008, 01:19 AM
Young Frankenstein was so lonely
he'd misplaced his one and only
So he built her from scratch
Even added a hatch!

:D

Woof
01-12-2008, 01:37 AM
Young Frankenstein was so lonely
he'd misplaced his one and only
So he built her from scratch
Even added a hatch!
And grafted a wart to her knee.


When I'm really feeling peckish

talkwrite
01-12-2008, 01:48 AM
When I'm really feeling peckish
I allow myself a fetish

onestepp
01-12-2008, 07:23 AM
When I'm really feeling pekish
I allow myself a fetish
untying neckties

HeronW
01-12-2008, 05:58 PM
When I'm really feeling pekish
I allow myself a fetish
untying neckties
and strangling mayflies

Woof
01-12-2008, 06:28 PM
When I'm really feeling pekish
I allow myself a fetish
untying neckties
and strangling mayflies
Before I swallow Czech fish.


There was a man who sprouted quills

rosebud1981
01-12-2008, 06:32 PM
There was a man who sprouted quills
And rambled on about daffodils

Woof
01-12-2008, 06:35 PM
There was a man who sprouted quills
And rambled on about daffodils
He was soft in the head

HeronW
01-12-2008, 06:46 PM
There was a man who sprouted quills
And rambled on about daffodils
He was soft in the head
and talked to the dead

Woof
01-12-2008, 07:05 PM
There was a man who sprouted quills
And rambled on about daffodils
He was soft in the head
and talked to the dead
And lived on purple happy pills.


And old gal with clothes erotic

oneblindmouse
01-12-2008, 07:22 PM
And old gal with clothes erotic
Was fractious, diseased and despotic

Woof
01-12-2008, 07:30 PM
And old gal with clothes erotic
Was fractious, diseased and despotic
She lured young men

oneblindmouse
01-12-2008, 07:34 PM
And old gal with clothes erotic
Was fractious, diseased and despotic
She lured young men
Again and again

Woof
01-12-2008, 07:51 PM
And old gal with clothes erotic
Was fractious, diseased and despotic
She lured young men
Again and again
They all danced nude and exotic.


There is a planet out in space

HeronW
01-12-2008, 08:38 PM
There is a planet out in space
it's home to an exotic race

Woof
01-13-2008, 06:55 PM
There is a planet out in space
it's home to an exotic race
All are telepathic

HeronW
01-13-2008, 07:43 PM
There is a planet out in space
it's home to an exotic race
All are telepathic
via noxious gas, ick

Pthom
01-14-2008, 02:45 AM
:rant: Oh my. How soon we forget. Meter, beat, meter, people. It ain't a limerick unless the meter works. The meter, or beat, or tempo, must be anapestic (look it up).

Oh, all right, here: An anapest is a metric devise composed of two short syllables followed by a long one (dih, dih, DAH). The limerick uses an aabba rhyme scheme, that much we seem to have down pat. But too often we are trying for humor to the detriment of the required anapestic meter.



In this first line from a limerick:
There once was a lady from Bostonthe stresses on the syllables follow classic anapestic rules:
There once was a lady from Boston.
Note that some assumptions are made to 'fit' the lyric into the anapestic scheme: The leading upbeat syllable is missing; as in many song lyrics, the rhyme begins on the second upbeat. The last two beats also appear to be missing, but this provides an 'empty' beat which is useful to reinforce the meaning of the line in the reader's mind.


In the first two lines of the example provided
There is a planet out in space
it's home to an exotic race

the meter, while delightful, and perfectly fine in another poetic style, is not anapestic and therefore out of place in a limerick:
There is a planet out in space
it's home to an exotic race

And where we might be able to impose anapestic meter on the next two lines, doing so results in what sounds forced, unnatural. And really, where a limerick is a silly and often nonsensical poem, they're much more effective when they trip liltingly from the tongue.


A solution to the present limerick might be as follows (I've emphasized the anapestic emphasis):
There is an old planet in space
That is home to an exotic race
They're all are telepathic
Breath noxious gas, ick
And otherwise look out of place.

Again, some assumptions are made to 'fit' the lyric into the anapestic scheme, see above. Also in the fourth line, we need to pronounce the i in noxious to arrive at the proper rhythm:
Breath nox-i-ous gas, ick. Also notice that the last syllable of the third line and the leading syllable of the fourth line fit exactly into the anapestic scheme (–thic Breath nox–).



Carry on. ;)

Because she stayed over at Harry's

K1P1
01-14-2008, 06:19 AM
Because she stayed over at Harry's
She missed Pthom's rant (he's an Aries)

oneblindmouse
01-14-2008, 12:26 PM
Because she stayed over at Harry's
She missed Pthom's rant (he's an Aries)
But after the rant

Sir_Nigel
01-14-2008, 01:30 PM
Because she stayed over at Harry's
She missed Pthom's rant (he's an Aries)
But after the rant
Her stout fearsome aunt

oneblindmouse
01-14-2008, 01:35 PM
Because she stayed over at Harry's
She missed Pthom's rant (he's an Aries)
But after the rant
Her stout fearsome aunt
Went off with some pixies and fairies.

A fox with a face full of whiskers

Z. W. Van Kleeck
01-14-2008, 01:51 PM
A fox with a face full of whiskers
Came home all covered in blisters.
His mother's gale voice
knew the wrong in his choice
"Silly boy, you can't kiss both sisters!"

Marmaduke flew to the moon.

HeronW
01-14-2008, 02:05 PM
Marmaduke flew to the moon.
and from a crater he'd croon

talkwrite
01-14-2008, 07:30 PM
Marmaduke flew to the moon.
and from a crater he'd croon
This isn't cheese!

HeronW
01-14-2008, 09:46 PM
Marmaduke flew to the moon.
and from a crater he'd croon
This isn't cheese!
then he would sneeze

oneblindmouse
01-14-2008, 10:08 PM
Marmaduke flew to the moon.
and from a crater he'd croon
This isn't cheese!
then he would sneeze
before passing out in a swoon.

Old Jasper went hunting one day

Nymtoc
01-14-2008, 10:23 PM
Old Jasper went hunting one day
A unicorn hoping to slay

oneblindmouse
01-14-2008, 10:28 PM
Old Jasper went hunting one day
A unicorn hoping to slay.
He sighted a centaur

Nymtoc
01-14-2008, 10:39 PM
Old Jasper went hunting one day
A unicorn hoping to slay.
He sighted a centaur
Who said, "Sir, you're bent. Are

oneblindmouse
01-14-2008, 11:54 PM
Old Jasper went hunting one day
A unicorn hoping to slay.
He sighted a centaur
Who said, "Sir, you're bent. Are
You keen on a romp in the hay?"

A porcupine out for a stroll

Pthom
01-15-2008, 12:21 AM
A porcupine out for a stroll
Sat carefully down on a knoll.

Woof
01-15-2008, 01:34 AM
A porcupine out for a stroll
Sat carefully down on a knoll.
But one of his quills

HeronW
01-15-2008, 01:41 AM
A porcupine out for a stroll
Sat carefully down on a knoll.
But one of his quills
poked holes in them hills

oneblindmouse
01-15-2008, 02:26 AM
A porcupine out for a stroll
Sat carefully down on a knoll.
But one of his quills
poked holes in them hills
Which strikes me as ever so droll.

An intelligent elegant heron

Pthom
01-15-2008, 02:54 AM
An intelligent elegant heron
Met a pellican who was named Sharon

HeronW
01-15-2008, 02:56 AM
An intelligent elegant heron
Met a pellican who was named Sharon
Heron: 'Do you dance?'

akelsey333
01-15-2008, 03:04 AM
An intelligent elegant heron
Met a pellican who was named Sharon
Heron: 'Do you dance?'
Sharon: 'Not a chance!'

Pthom
01-15-2008, 03:04 AM
An intelligent elegant heron
Met a pellican who was named Sharon
Heron: 'Do you dance?'
Sharon: 'Not a chance!
Because of the gown you are wearin' "

There once was a limited time, see

Nymtoc
01-15-2008, 04:52 AM
There once was a limited time, see,
When limericks were rhythmic and rhymesy

HeronW
01-15-2008, 04:41 PM
There once was a limited time, see,
When limericks were rhythmic and rhymesy
with meter and grace

Woof
01-15-2008, 05:15 PM
There once was a limited time, see,
When limericks were rhythmic and rhymesy
with meter and grace
All frilly with lace

Nymtoc
01-15-2008, 05:58 PM
There once was a limited time, see,
When limericks were rhythmic and rhymesy
with meter and grace
All frilly with lace
Now some limericks suck. That's a crime, see?

:e2woo:

A man with a hammer and tongs

Sir_Nigel
01-15-2008, 06:41 PM
A man with a hammer and tongs
was singing Burt Bacharach songs

Joycecwilliams
01-15-2008, 07:00 PM
A man with a hammer and tongs
was singing Burt Bacharach songs
his voice out of tune

oneblindmouse
01-15-2008, 08:27 PM
A man with a hammer and tongs
was singing Burt Bacharach songs
his voice out of tune
hie eyes on the moon

Joycecwilliams
01-15-2008, 09:10 PM
A man with a hammer and tongs
was singing Burt Bacharach songs
his voice out of tune
hie eyes on the moon
He continued while smoking his bong



An old dog called Buck

oneblindmouse
01-15-2008, 10:37 PM
The first line needs more syllables, Joyce. See Pthom's 'rant' a page or two above for the full-blown instructions.

Pthom
01-15-2008, 10:47 PM
We could just adjust it for her, mebbe... like this:

There once was an old dog called Buck

Nymtoc
01-15-2008, 10:59 PM
There once was an old dog called Buck
Who rode in the back of a truck

Pthom
01-15-2008, 11:08 PM
There once was an old dog called Buck
Who rode in the back of a truck.
He thought, "Man, this lorry

Nymtoc
01-15-2008, 11:10 PM
There once was an old dog called Buck
Who rode in the back of a truck.
He thought, "Man, this lorry
Would make a cool story

oneblindmouse
01-15-2008, 11:23 PM
There once was an old dog called Buck
Who rode in the back of a truck.
He thought, "Man, this lorry
Would make a cool story
if only it weren't full of muck!"

A peacock who thought he was wise

Kerr
01-16-2008, 12:07 AM
A peacock who thought he was wise
Spread his feathers so he'd look nice

HeronW
01-16-2008, 12:30 AM
A peacock who thought he was wise
Spread his feathers so he'd look nice
a wind blew them off

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 01:15 AM
A peacock who thought he was wise
Spread his feathers so he'd look nice
a wind blew them off
which gave him a cough

HeronW
01-16-2008, 01:19 AM
A peacock who thought he was wise
Spread his feathers so he'd look nice
a wind blew them off
which gave him a cough
so he died and was buried in ice.

There once was a girl from Rangoon

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 01:35 AM
There once was a girl from Rangoon
Who rose swiftly in a balloon

HeronW
01-16-2008, 01:40 AM
There once was a girl from Rangoon
Who rose swiftly in a balloon
she ran out of gas

rosebud1981
01-16-2008, 01:43 AM
There once was a girl from Rangoon
Who rose swiftly in a balloon
she ran out of gas
and fell on her ass

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 01:46 AM
There once was a girl from Rangoon
Who rose swiftly in a balloon
she ran out of gas
and fell on her ass
And left this cruel world much too soon.

:(

"To market, to market!" said Pig.

Joycecwilliams
01-16-2008, 02:19 AM
"To market, to market!" said Pig.
I need some fresh meat and a fig.

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 02:45 AM
"To market, to market!" said Pig.
"I need some fresh meat and a fig.
I'll make fig soufflee

Joycecwilliams
01-16-2008, 02:47 AM
"To market, to market!" said Pig.
"I need some fresh meat and a fig.
I'll make fig soufflee
said pig sounding gay

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 03:01 AM
"To market, to market!" said Pig.
"I need some fresh meat and a fig.
I'll make fig soufflee,"
said pig sounding gay,
"And while they eat, I'll dance a jig."

:crazy:

There once was a lecher from Leeds

Pthom
01-16-2008, 04:31 AM
There once was a lecher from Leeds
Who tailored weird holes in his tweeds.

Joycecwilliams
01-16-2008, 05:30 AM
There once was a lecher from Leeds
Who tailored weird holes in his tweeds.
He had one on his knee,

Nymtoc
01-16-2008, 08:43 AM
There once was a lecher from Leeds
Who tailored weird holes in his tweeds.
He had one on his knee,
As gross as could be,

Kerr
01-16-2008, 09:34 AM
There once was a lecher from Leeds
Who tailored weird holes in his tweeds.
He had one on his knee,
As gross as could be,
Though better than that where he peed.

Once an old man named Gapetto

Pthom
01-16-2008, 11:33 AM
Once an old man named Gapetto
Tried to carve his way out of the ghetto

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 12:18 PM
Once an old man named Gapetto
Tried to carve his way out of the ghetto
He dug and he shovelled
__________________

Pthom
01-16-2008, 01:19 PM
Once an old man named Gapetto
Tried to carve his way out of the ghetto
He dug and he shoveled
And then, on knee groveled

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 01:27 PM
Once an old man named Gapetto
Tried to carve his way out of the ghetto
He dug and he shoveled
And then, on knee groveled
While drinking some strong amaretto.

The problem with drinking and driving

Pthom
01-16-2008, 01:30 PM
“The problem with drinking and driving,”
Said Roberta, while going pub diving,

poetinahat
01-16-2008, 02:04 PM
“The problem with drinking and driving,”
Said Roberta, while going pub diving,
"Is not looking nervous

Woof
01-16-2008, 06:14 PM
“The problem with drinking and driving,”
Said Roberta, while going pub diving,
"Is not looking nervous
When drivers swear at us

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 06:20 PM
“The problem with drinking and driving,”
Said Roberta, while going pub diving,
"Is not looking nervous
When drivers swear at us,
together with all the conniving."

On Friday night down at the pub

HeronW
01-16-2008, 06:25 PM
On Friday night down at the pub
Jonnie asked, 'What's all the hubbub?'

PattiTheWicked
01-16-2008, 07:43 PM
On Friday night down at the pub
Jonnie asked, 'What's all the hubbub?'
The ale was a-flowin'

Joycecwilliams
01-16-2008, 08:03 PM
On Friday night down at the pub
Jonnie asked, 'What's all the hubbub?'
The ale was a-flowin'
A pyshic was knowing

HeronW
01-16-2008, 08:13 PM
On Friday night down at the pub
Jonnie asked, 'What's all the hubbub?'
The ale was a-flowin'
A psychic was knowing
three men were singing in a tub.

A Martian named Murzig Mazor

Joycecwilliams
01-16-2008, 08:55 PM
A Martian named Murzig Mazor
Was shaving a girl with a razor.

oneblindmouse
01-16-2008, 09:56 PM
A Martian named Murzig Mazor
Was shaving a girl with a razor.
He asked how she felt

rosebud1981
01-16-2008, 10:15 PM
A Martian named Murzig Mazor
Was shaving a girl with a razor.
He asked how she felt
And she nearly did melt