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Nymtoc
12-07-2007, 09:56 PM
A pigeon who flew to New York
Was mistakenly seen as a stork
So he put on a suit
Struck a note on his flute
And learned to eat peas with a fork.

:e2coffee:

A stripper called Lola LaRue

Woof
12-08-2007, 01:39 AM
A stripper called Lola LaRue
Had a most unbecoming tattoo

Pthom
12-08-2007, 03:13 AM
A stripper called Lola LaRue
Had a most unbecoming tattoo
But she hid it with guile

John Paton
12-08-2007, 03:56 AM
A stripper called Lola LaRue
Had a most unbecoming tattoo
But she hid it with guile
And it looked like a smile

Kerr
12-08-2007, 10:13 AM
A stripper called Lola LaRue
Had a most unbecoming tattoo
But she his it with guile
And it looked like a smile
Right across Lola's big boobs


In the old Texas town of LaWrite

oneblindmouse
12-08-2007, 03:07 PM
In the old Texas town of LaWrite
Lived a gentleman, learnéd and bright

Pthom
12-10-2007, 04:02 AM
In the old Texas town of LaWrite
Lived a gentleman, learnéd and bright.
His opinion was sought

Joycecwilliams
12-10-2007, 11:58 AM
In the old Texas town of LaWrite
Lived a gentleman, learnéd and bright.
His opinion was sought
Or more or less bought

oneblindmouse
12-10-2007, 12:23 PM
In the old Texas town of LaWrite
Lived a gentleman, learnéd and bright.
His opinion was sought
Or more or less bought
Though his answers were stunningly trite.

A lady with superfluous ears

Woof
12-10-2007, 06:12 PM
A lady with superfluous ears
While hearing and eavesdropping hears

oneblindmouse
12-10-2007, 06:20 PM
A lady with superfluous ears
While hearing and eavesdropping hears
Some gossip so smutty

Woof
12-10-2007, 06:23 PM
A lady with superfluous ears
While hearing and eavesdropping hears
Some gossip so smutty
That involved sex and putty

oneblindmouse
12-10-2007, 06:29 PM
A lady with superfluous ears
While hearing and eavesdropping hears
Some gossip so smutty
That involved sex and putty
That she was quite reduced to tears

oneblindmouse
12-10-2007, 06:31 PM
A happy investor in shares

Woof
12-10-2007, 06:33 PM
A happy investor in shares
Invested in a warren of hares

oneblindmouse
12-10-2007, 06:34 PM
A happy investor in shares
Invested in a warren of hares
But these bunnies did hop
__________________

Woof
12-10-2007, 11:17 PM
A happy investor in shares
Invested in a warren of hares
But these bunnies did hop
And do nothing but plop

Nymtoc
12-10-2007, 11:32 PM
A happy investor in shares
Invested in a warren of hares
But these bunnies did hop
And do nothing but plop
So he lost his investment. Who cares?

:D

From Denver to Durham to Dallas

Woof
12-11-2007, 12:17 AM
From Denver to Durham to Dallas
From Pavarotti to Callas

Nymtoc
12-11-2007, 12:42 AM
From Denver to Durham to Dallas
From Pavarotti to Callas
All operaphiles swoon

oneblindmouse
12-11-2007, 01:46 AM
From Denver to Durham to Dallas
From Pavarotti to Callas
All operaphiles swoon
And dance 'neath the moon

Joycecwilliams
12-11-2007, 04:32 AM
From Denver to Durham to Dallas
From Pavarotti to Callas
All operaphiles swoon
And dance 'neath the moon
After dosing their hair with Vitalius.

Joycecwilliams
12-11-2007, 04:34 AM
The Jolly old man with his elfs

onestepp
12-11-2007, 08:49 AM
The Jolly old man with his elfs
tried to start the red sleigh, oh welfs

oneblindmouse
12-11-2007, 01:35 PM
The Jolly old man with his elfs
tried to start the red sleigh, oh welfs
But the deer wouldn't budge

Joycecwilliams
12-11-2007, 02:37 PM
The Jolly old man with his elfs
tried to start the red sleigh, oh welfs
But the deer wouldn't budge
They were on strike for fudge

oneblindmouse
12-11-2007, 03:20 PM
The Jolly old man with his elfs
tried to start the red sleigh, oh welfs
But the deer wouldn't budge
They were on strike for fudge
And thinking only of themselfs!

Mrs Santa decided to help

Woof
12-11-2007, 05:32 PM
Mrs Santa decided to help
By feeding the reindeer boiled kelp

Nymtoc
12-11-2007, 09:43 PM
Mrs Santa decided to help
By feeding the reindeer boiled kelp
They gulped and they swallowed

oneblindmouse
12-11-2007, 10:27 PM
Mrs Santa decided to help
By feeding the reindeer boiled kelp
They gulped and they swallowed
They hiccupped and hollered

Woof
12-12-2007, 12:22 AM
Mrs Santa decided to help
By feeding the reindeer boiled kelp
They gulped and they swallowed
They hiccupped and hollered
And expired with one great yelp.


Rudolf painted his nose turquoise

Nymtoc
12-12-2007, 12:25 AM
Rudolf painted his nose turquoise
Thinking it would amuse girls and boys

Woof
12-12-2007, 12:28 AM
Rudolf painted his nose turquoise
Thinking it would amuse girls and boys
But it caught the eye

Nymtoc
12-12-2007, 12:34 AM
Rudolf painted his nose turquoise
Thinking it would amuse girls and boys
But it caught the eye
Of a North Pole spy

Woof
12-12-2007, 12:53 AM
Rudolf painted his nose turquoise
Thinking it would amuse girls and boys
But it caught the eye
Of a North Pole spy
Guess which reindeer no one employs.


Under the mistletoe an ogre stood

talkwrite
12-12-2007, 01:50 AM
Under the mistletoe an ogre stood
With his glass eye and leg made of wood

Joycecwilliams
12-12-2007, 05:22 AM
Under the mistletoe an ogre stood
With his glass eye and leg made of wood
He grabbed a young miss
And said give me kiss

Kerr
12-12-2007, 07:28 AM
Under the mistletoe an ogre stood
With his glass eye and leg made of wood
He grabbed a young miss
And said give me kiss
But she wasn't ready for ogrehood

Elvis the long-legged elf was ready

Joycecwilliams
12-12-2007, 08:10 AM
Elvis the long-legged elf was ready
He fell in love with short legged Betty.

Woof
12-12-2007, 06:26 PM
Elvis the long-legged elf was ready
He fell in love with short legged Betty.
They met mid-calf

Kerr
12-13-2007, 05:07 AM
Elvis the long-legged elf was ready
He fell in love with short legged Betty.
They met mid-calf
Twas his better half

Joycecwilliams
12-13-2007, 08:17 PM
Elvis the long-legged elf was ready
He fell in love with short legged Betty.
They met mid-calf
Twas his better half
Until Betty took off with Freddy.

Joycecwilliams
12-13-2007, 08:18 PM
There once was a man named St. Nick

oneblindmouse
12-13-2007, 08:58 PM
There once was a man named St. Nick
who went swimming but sank like a brick

Kerr
12-14-2007, 05:28 AM
There once was a man named St. Nick
who went swimming but sank like a brick
But once he hit bottom

Joycecwilliams
12-14-2007, 05:59 PM
There once was a man named St. Nick
who went swimming but sank like a brick
But once he hit bottom
A gang came and gott'em

oneblindmouse
12-14-2007, 06:15 PM
There once was a man named St. Nick
who went swimming but sank like a brick
But once he hit bottom
A gang came and gott'em
Then walloped him with a long stick.

The man in the 7th-floor flat

rosebud1981
12-14-2007, 07:42 PM
The man in the 7th-floor flat
Decided to marry his cat

oneblindmouse
12-14-2007, 09:17 PM
The man in the 7th-floor flat
Decided to marry his cat
So, armed with some flowers

PrettySpecialGal
12-15-2007, 08:20 AM
The man in the 7th-floor flat
Decided to marry his cat
So, armed with some flowers
The cat-nipping powers

Woof
12-15-2007, 05:27 PM
The man in the 7th-floor flat
Decided to marry his cat
So, armed with some flowers
The cat-nipping powers
Was killed by an 18 foot rat


An owl who wasn't too bright

rosebud1981
12-15-2007, 06:13 PM
An owl who wasn't too bright
Challenged an eagle to fight

oneblindmouse
12-15-2007, 06:50 PM
An owl who wasn't too bright
Challenged an eagle to fight
They soared through the sky

Joycecwilliams
12-15-2007, 07:05 PM
An owl who wasn't too bright
Challenged an eagle to fight
They soared through the sky
till they met a magpie

rosebud1981
12-15-2007, 08:21 PM
An owl who wasn't too bright
Challenged an eagle to fight
They soared through the sky
Till they met a magpie
Who died from shock at the sight.

A tiger who devoured three men

Joycecwilliams
12-15-2007, 08:35 PM
A tiger who devoured three men
was caged but escaped his pen

oneblindmouse
12-16-2007, 12:14 PM
A tiger who devoured three men
was caged but escaped his pen
with stripes ablazing

PrettySpecialGal
12-16-2007, 06:34 PM
A tiger who devoured three men
was caged but escaped his pen
with stripes ablazing
the certain hell raising

Joycecwilliams
12-17-2007, 08:22 AM
A tiger who devoured three men
was caged but escaped his pen
with stripes ablazing
the certain hell raising
He decided to do it again.


For presents she made them biscotti

Pthom
12-17-2007, 10:53 AM
For presents she made them biscotti
That she took to them on her Ducati

Voyager
12-17-2007, 11:10 AM
For presents she made them biscotti
That she took to them on her Ducati
Her bike hit a bump
And her bladder went thump
And she cried out, "I have to go potty!"


There once was a green armadillo

ETA: Note to self, read instructions.

oneblindmouse
12-17-2007, 11:15 AM
There once was a green armadillo
Who used a young mole as a pillow

Pthom
12-17-2007, 11:27 AM
There once was a green armadillo
Who used a young mole as a pillow
But mole, he grew old

oneblindmouse
12-17-2007, 11:37 AM
There once was a green armadillo
Who used a young mole as a pillow
But mole, he grew old
short-sighted and cold

Woof
12-17-2007, 07:46 PM
There once was a green armadillo
Who used a young mole as a pillow
But mole, he grew old
short-sighted and cold
So he left to warm Amarillo.


There was a duck who couldn't swim

oneblindmouse
12-18-2007, 02:08 AM
There was a duck who couldn't swim
So all his friends made fun of him

Pthom
12-18-2007, 05:23 AM
There was a duck who couldn't swim
So all his friends made fun of him
They mixed up some Jell-O

oneblindmouse
12-18-2007, 11:34 AM
There was a duck who couldn't swim
So all his friends made fun of him
They mixed up some Jell-O
which made them feel mellow
__________________

Kerr
12-18-2007, 04:03 PM
There was a duck who couldn't swim
So all his friends made fun of him
They mixed up some Jell-O
which made them feel mellow
Now they're all bouncing at the Jello-O Gym


Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fellow

oneblindmouse
12-18-2007, 04:15 PM
Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fellow
His shirts were green and his tie was yellow

Woof
12-18-2007, 06:07 PM
Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fellow
His shirts were green and his tie was yellow
He had a relative theory

oneblindmouse
12-18-2007, 07:11 PM
Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fellow
His shirts were green and his tie was yellow
He had a relative theory
And blue-grey eyes so bleary

Kerr
12-19-2007, 03:56 AM
Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fellow
His shirts were green and his tie was yellow
He had a relative theory
And blue-green eyes so bleary
"So who cares if I clash?" he would bellow.


A black widow spider from Mandalay

Pthom
12-19-2007, 04:35 AM
A black widow spider from Mandalay <-- has one too many syllables. If you'll allow me, an alternative line:

A Mandalay black widow spider

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 12:29 PM
A Mandalay black widow spider
Once found an intrepid outsider

PrettySpecialGal
12-19-2007, 03:25 PM
A Mandalay black widow spider
Once found an intrepid outsider
At once, she had tied

Woof
12-19-2007, 04:42 PM
A Mandalay black widow spider
Once found an intrepid outsider
At once, she had tied
A fly she had spied

rosebud1981
12-19-2007, 07:10 PM
A Mandalay black widow spider
Once found an intrepid outsider
At once, she had tied
A fly she had spied
And then sucked the whole thing inside her.

There once was a king from Persia

Woof
12-19-2007, 08:17 PM
There once was a king from Persia
Who suffered from horrid inertia

Joycecwilliams
12-19-2007, 08:39 PM
There once was a king from Persia
Who suffered from horrid inertia
He sat, and he sat

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 08:46 PM
There once was a king from Persia
Who suffered from horrid inertia
He sat, and he sat
with brainwaves so flat

Woof
12-19-2007, 08:52 PM
There once was a king from Persia
Who suffered from horrid inertia
He sat, and he sat
with brainwaves so flat
And was replaced with a new Shah.


When I think of the African elephant

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 10:34 PM
When I think of an African elephant
I conceive a riposte so inelegant

Woof
12-19-2007, 10:41 PM
When I think of an African elephant
I conceive a riposte so inelegant
That I curse and I swear

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 10:54 PM
When I think of an African elephant
I conceive a riposte so inelegant
That I curse and I swear
Think it's all so unfair

Woof
12-19-2007, 11:12 PM
When I think of an African elephant
I conceive a riposte so inelegant
That I curse and I swear
Think it's all so unfair
And all so terribly irrelephant.


Dr. Frankenstein woke one day

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 11:19 PM
Dr. Frankenstein woke one day
And decided to go out to play

Woof
12-19-2007, 11:21 PM
Dr. Frankenstein woke one day
And decided to go out to play
He unearthed a brain

oneblindmouse
12-19-2007, 11:28 PM
Dr. Frankenstein woke one day
And decided to go out to play
He unearthed a brain
Oblivious to pain

Nymtoc
12-20-2007, 12:32 AM
Dr. Frankenstein woke one day
And decided to go out to play
He unearthed a brain
Oblivious to pain
But happy to go out and slay.

:eek:

The twelve days of Christmas are weird

Pthom
12-20-2007, 12:38 AM
The twelve days of Christmas are weird
That song about them should be feard!

Woof
12-20-2007, 01:34 AM
The twelve days of Christmas are weird
That song about them should be feard!
How many maids 'a milking?

Pthom
12-20-2007, 03:49 AM
The twelve days of Christmas are weird
That song about them should be feard!
Those maids all a milking? <- - - adjusted for meter.
Or all those lords leaping?

Nymtoc
12-20-2007, 06:12 AM
The twelve days of Christmas are weird
That song about them should be feard!
Those maids all a milking? <- - - adjusted for meter.
Or all those lords leaping?
And were all those ladies brassiered?

:rolleyes:


In jolly old England, they say,

Cath
12-20-2007, 06:18 AM
In jolly old England, they say,
Dear Saint Nick, well he don't ride a sleigh

Joycecwilliams
12-20-2007, 07:51 AM
In jolly old England, they say,
Dear Saint Nick, well he don't ride a sleigh
He takes a night train

Nymtoc
12-20-2007, 11:14 AM
In jolly old England, they say,
Dear Saint Nick, well he don't ride a sleigh
He takes a night train
Through fog and through rain

Pthom
12-20-2007, 12:27 PM
In jolly old England, they say,
Dear Saint Nick, well he don't ride a sleigh
He takes a night train
Through fog and through rain
To Cardiff, where he sleeps all day.

But really, you see, I digress

Nymtoc
12-20-2007, 01:09 PM
But really, you see, I digress
'Tis a season of joy and of stress

oneblindmouse
12-20-2007, 02:27 PM
But really, you see, I digress
'Tis a season of joy and of stress
Of turkey and stuffing
__________________

Sir_Nigel
12-20-2007, 06:12 PM
But really, you see, I digress
'Tis a season of joy and of stress
Of turkey and stuffing
(Tho’ poor folks get nuffing)

oneblindmouse
12-20-2007, 06:19 PM
But really, you see, I digress
'Tis a season of joy and of stress
Of turkey and stuffing
(Tho’ poor folks get nuffing)
And undisguised fullblown excess.

The turkey looked into the kitchen

Woof
12-20-2007, 06:46 PM
The turkey looked into the kitchen
And saw a trussed, stuffed pigeon

Sir_Nigel
12-20-2007, 06:56 PM
The turkey looked into the kitchen
And saw a trussed, stuffed pigeon
'Hmmm kinky' he thought

Woof
12-20-2007, 06:59 PM
The turkey looked into the kitchen
And saw a trussed, stuffed pigeon
'Hmmm kinky' he thought
"Must be store-bought"

Sir_Nigel
12-20-2007, 07:24 PM
The turkey looked into the kitchen
And saw a trussed, stuffed pigeon
'Hmmm kinky' he thought
"Must be store-bought,
but I’ll give it one while it’s still twitchin’’


I was feeling a little obstreperous

Pthom
12-20-2007, 10:57 PM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
And couldn't quite help but be amorous

Nymtoc
12-20-2007, 11:08 PM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
And couldn't quite help but be amorous
So taking a chance

Woof
12-21-2007, 12:38 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
And couldn't quite help but be amorous
So taking a chance
I asked her to dance

Pthom
12-21-2007, 12:48 AM
I was feeling a little obstreperous
And couldn't quite help but be amorous
So taking a chance
I asked her to dance
'Cause no one else there was as glamorous.

Some things are just unavoidable

Woof
12-21-2007, 12:54 AM
Some things are just unavoidable
Like foods that are hemorrhoidable

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 02:39 AM
Some things are just unavoidable
Like foods that are hemorrhoidable
So take it from me

Kerr
12-21-2007, 05:14 AM
Some things are just unavoidable
Like foods that are hemorrhoidable
So take it from me
Pebbles aren't peas

Zonk
12-21-2007, 06:08 AM
Some things are just unavoidable
Like foods that are hemorrhoidable
So take it from me
Pebbles aren't peas
But Baseball stats, though, are steroid-able.

'Twas the Night before Christmas, I guess


:D:D:D

Joycecwilliams
12-21-2007, 09:07 AM
'Twas the Night before Christmas, I guess
And I traded my pants for a dress.

Sir_Nigel
12-21-2007, 01:04 PM
'Twas the Night before Christmas, I guess
And I traded my pants for a dress
But my wife exclaimed ‘Brian!’

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 02:38 PM
'Twas the Night before Christmas, I guess
And I traded my pants for a dress
But my wife exclaimed ‘Brian!
That dress needs an iron.'
__________________

Sir_Nigel
12-21-2007, 03:30 PM
'Twas the Night before Christmas, I guess
And I traded my pants for a dress
But my wife exclaimed ‘Brian!
That dress needs an iron.
And is there something you want to confess?’


Whilst fumbling around in the dark

Albedo
12-21-2007, 03:46 PM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
In the bushes that grow in the park

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 03:58 PM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
In the bushes that grow in the park
I found a young couple

Woof
12-21-2007, 05:23 PM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
In the bushes that grow in the park
I found a young couple
All naked and supple

Sir_Nigel
12-21-2007, 05:58 PM
Whilst fumbling around in the dark
In the bushes that grow in the park
I found a young couple
All naked and supple
and was stuck for a witty remark


A donkey, two nuns and a mime

Woof
12-21-2007, 06:01 PM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime
Were dancing a polka in time

Nymtoc
12-21-2007, 06:04 PM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime
Were dancing a polka in time
When to their dismay

Woof
12-21-2007, 06:09 PM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime
Were dancing a polka in time
When to their dismay
They missed the buffet

rosebud1981
12-21-2007, 06:17 PM
A donkey, two nuns and a mime
Were dancing a polka in time
When to their dismay
They missed the buffet
After the nuns committed a crime

A monkey fell out of a tree

Woof
12-21-2007, 06:23 PM
A monkey fell out of a tree
And bumped into Robert E. Lee

Nymtoc
12-21-2007, 07:01 PM
A monkey fell out of a tree
And bumped into Robert E. Lee
Lee said, "I declare!

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 07:02 PM
A monkey fell out of a tree
And bumped into Robert E. Lee
Lee said, "I declare!
Your midriff is bare!"

Woof
12-21-2007, 09:05 PM
A monkey fell out of a tree
And bumped into Robert E. Lee
Lee said, "I declare!
Your midriff is bare!"
And you smell like a 6-month old Brie.



A reindeer who went out on strike

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 09:38 PM
A reindeer who went out on strike
Said Santa could go ride a bike

Woof
12-21-2007, 09:44 PM
A reindeer who went out on strike
Said Santa could go ride a bike
The other deers cheered

rosebud1981
12-21-2007, 09:50 PM
A reindeer who went out on strike
Said Santa could go ride a bike
The other deers cheered
Poor Santa just sneered

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 09:53 PM
A reindeer who went out on strike
Said Santa could go ride a bike
The other deers cheered
Poor Santa just sneered
As he gathered his things for a hike

A turkey was flapping its wings

rosebud1981
12-21-2007, 09:56 PM
A turkey was flapping its wings
Knowing what Christmas brings

oneblindmouse
12-21-2007, 10:02 PM
A turkey was flapping its wings
Knowing what Christmas brings
It wanted to flee

Woof
12-22-2007, 01:15 AM
A turkey was flapping its wings
Knowing what Christmas brings
It wanted to flee
But had to go pee

talkwrite
12-22-2007, 01:43 AM
A turkey was flapping its wings
Knowing what Christmas brings
It wanted to flee
But had to go pee
Now there's cranberry with my drumstick and wings.

I keep hearing the holiday is about
Gathering with family-in laws and out

Kerr
12-22-2007, 06:32 AM
I keep hearing the holiday is about
Gathering with family-in laws and out
Children with their lists

Albedo
12-23-2007, 08:55 AM
I keep hearing the holiday is about
Gathering with family-in laws and out
Children with their lists
Granny's mean ol' fists

Woof
12-23-2007, 09:57 PM
I keep hearing the holiday is about
Gathering with family-in laws and out
Children with their lists
Granny's mean ol' fists
And more than one drunken lout.


Contact Santa at northpole.com

Nymtoc
12-23-2007, 10:23 PM
Contact Santa at northpole.com
But don't tell your dad or your mom

oneblindmouse
12-23-2007, 10:25 PM
Contact Santa at northpole.com
But don't tell your dad or your mom
They might not approve
__________________

Woof
12-23-2007, 10:27 PM
Contact Santa at northpole.com
But don't tell your dad or your mom
Those pics of the elves

Nymtoc
12-23-2007, 10:40 PM
Contact Santa at northpole.com
But don't tell your dad or your mom
Those pics of the elves
Getting off on themselves

Woof
12-23-2007, 10:48 PM
Contact Santa at northpole.com
But don't tell your dad or your mom
Those pics of the elves
Getting off on themselves
Will make you grow hair on your palm.



She was taken on a gruesome slay ride

rhymegirl
12-24-2007, 05:06 AM
She was taken on a gruesome sleigh ride
And made Frankenstein's creature's new bride

Albedo
12-24-2007, 08:02 AM
She was taken on a gruesome sleigh ride
And made Frankenstein's creature's new bride
When she saw his big bolt

Woof
12-24-2007, 10:59 PM
She was taken on a gruesome sleigh ride
And made Frankenstein's creature's new bride
When she saw his big bolt
She felt a strong volt

Nymtoc
12-24-2007, 11:19 PM
She was taken on a gruesome sleigh ride
And made Frankenstein's creature's new bride
When she saw his big bolt
She felt a strong volt
That swept her misgivings aside.

:crazy:

There once was a rat who wrote prose

Woof
12-24-2007, 11:37 PM
There once was a rat who wrote prose
Who penned all his words with his toes

Kerr
12-27-2007, 03:32 AM
Boy, this is a hard one to get five syllables on.

There once was a rat who wrote prose
Who penned all his words with his toes
He'd grip the pen tight

Pthom
12-27-2007, 05:21 AM
It isn't so much the number of syllables as it is the number of beats. You might think of a limerick as a song, with a regimented tempo that can't be violated. You can syncopate a little here or slur a little there to allow more or fewer syllables. But it is the beat that is most important--well, and that the poem makes sense, kinda. And of course, if it's humorous, all the better. In the given example, "prose" could be replaced with a three-syllable word, such as "poetry" and still maintain the beat. Of course "toes" would have to be changed (an possibly the entire second line) to make that work.

But we have one underway... so:

There once was a rat who wrote prose
Who penned all his words with his toes
He'd grip the pen tight
With all of his might

Nymtoc
12-27-2007, 06:50 AM
There once was a rat who wrote prose
Who penned all his words with his toes
He'd grip the pen tight
With all of his might
But did publishers call? No one knows.

:rolleyes:

A feisty old hobo called Sammy

Joycecwilliams
12-27-2007, 08:22 AM
A feisty old hobo called Sammy
was known to be running a scammy.

Woof
12-27-2007, 06:34 PM
A feisty old hobo called Sammy
was known to be running a scammy.
He bilked all the widows

Joycecwilliams
12-27-2007, 07:33 PM
A feisty old hobo called Sammy
was known to be running a scammy.
He bilked all the widows
and milk money from kidos

Woof
12-27-2007, 07:41 PM
A feisty old hobo called Sammy
was known to be running a scammy.
He bilked all the widows
and milk money from kidos
Yet his song won him a Grammy.


There was a swan who hated to swim

Joycecwilliams
12-27-2007, 09:22 PM
There was a swan who hated to swim
but entered a race looking to win

talkwrite
12-27-2007, 09:46 PM
There was a swan who hated to swim
but entered a race looking to win
To cause him great speed
On beans he would feed

rhymegirl
12-27-2007, 10:54 PM
There was a swan who hated to swim
but entered a race looking to win
To cause him great speed
On beans he would feed
And he sometimes worked out at the gym.


Santa brought me a real sexy dress

Woof
12-27-2007, 11:39 PM
Santa brought me a real sexy dress
But my hair is an absolute mess

Nymtoc
12-27-2007, 11:45 PM
Santa brought me a real sexy dress
But my hair is an absolute mess
My shoes are a fright

Woof
12-27-2007, 11:46 PM
Santa brought me a real sexy dress
But my hair is an absolute mess
My shoes are a fright
My makeup's not right

Nymtoc
12-28-2007, 12:03 AM
Santa brought me a real sexy dress
But my hair is an absolute mess
My shoes are a fright
My makeup's not right
That's why I say, "Bonjour Tristesse."

:(

My neighbor's remarkably fat

Woof
12-28-2007, 12:09 AM
My neighbor's remarkably fat
And eats ice cream by the vat

Nymtoc
12-28-2007, 12:12 AM
My neighbor's remarkably fat
And eats ice cream by the vat
His belly's so big

Woof
12-28-2007, 12:15 AM
My neighbor's remarkably fat
And eats ice cream by the vat
His belly's so big
That he shames every pig

Nymtoc
12-28-2007, 12:30 AM
My neighbor's remarkably fat
And eats ice cream by the vat
His belly's so big
That he shames every pig
Try to tell him so. He'll knock you flat.

:Wha:

When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett

akiwiguy
12-28-2007, 12:32 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
Just the thought of him had her wet

Woof
12-28-2007, 12:36 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
She acted like a real coquette

Joycecwilliams
12-28-2007, 01:14 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
She acted like a real coquette
Yet Rhett didn't give a damn

Pthom
12-28-2007, 01:31 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
She acted like a real coquette
Yet Rhett didn't give a damn

This last line has too many beats. Try:

Rhett don't give a damn

rhymegirl
12-28-2007, 02:38 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
She acted like a real coquette,
Rhett don't give a damn,
Just chews on his ham,

Meaney
12-28-2007, 05:59 AM
When Scarlett set out to catch Rhett
She acted like a real coquette,
Rhett don't give a damn,
Just chews on his ham,
and says, "Frankly, I prefer a brunette."

The beast with the tentacled head

Pthom
12-28-2007, 06:06 AM
The beast with the tentacled head
Made the posse all wish they were dead.

Nymtoc
12-28-2007, 06:21 AM
The beast with the tentacled head
Made the posse all wish they were dead.
As it crept through the night

Meaney
12-28-2007, 07:04 AM
The beast with the tentacled head
Made the posse all wish they were dead.
As it crept through the night
They all listened in fright

Albedo
12-28-2007, 07:12 AM
The beast with the tentacled head
Made the posse all wish they were dead.
As it crept through the night
They all listened in fright
And some of them dampened the bed.

Hickory dickory dog

Nymtoc
12-28-2007, 08:30 AM
Hickory dickory dog
My beagle got lost in the fog

Joycecwilliams
12-28-2007, 08:46 AM
Hickory dickory dog
My beagle got lost in the fog
All I heard was his howl

oneblindmouse
12-28-2007, 12:14 PM
Hickory dickory dog
My beagle got lost in the fog
All I heard was his howl
As he dreamed of hot fowl

Pthom
12-28-2007, 12:49 PM
Hickory dickory dog
My beagle got lost in the fog
All I heard was his howl
As he dreamed of hot fowl
And a snooze by the blazing Yule log.

When I have to get up and go

oneblindmouse
12-28-2007, 12:56 PM
When I have to get up and go
My legs get all languid and slow

Woof
12-28-2007, 05:33 PM
When I have to get up and go
My legs get all languid and slow
May gait is feeble

Joycecwilliams
12-28-2007, 06:18 PM
When I have to get up and go
My legs get all languid and slow
May gait is feeble
I wobble and weeble

talkwrite
12-28-2007, 10:16 PM
When I have to get up and go
My legs get all languid and slow
May gait is feeble
I wobble and weeble
So much for going with the flow


It's time to look at the year past

rhymegirl
12-29-2007, 06:12 AM
It's time to look at the year past
Which went by so very damn fast,

Kerr
12-29-2007, 07:12 AM
It's time to look at the year past
Which went by so very damn fast,
Time to right (write?) your wrongs

PrettySpecialGal
12-29-2007, 07:15 AM
It's time to look at the year past
Which went by so very damn fast,
Time to right your wrongs
Like buying those thongs...


(oh, this should be fun!)

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 11:15 AM
It's time to look at the year past
Which went by so very damn fast,
Time to right your wrongs
Like buying those thongs...
Oh, forget it! Let's just have a blast!

:partyguy:

On the very first day of the year

Woof
12-29-2007, 06:32 PM
On the very first day of the year
Should your hangover disappear

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 06:37 PM
On the very first day of the year
Should your hangover disappear
Go talk a brisk walk

Woof
12-29-2007, 06:48 PM
On the very first day of the year
Should your hangover disappear
Go talk a brisk walk
Or read some real schlock

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 06:57 PM
On the very first day of the year
Should your hangover disappear
Go talk a brisk walk
Or read some real schlock
Or at least drink a gallon of beer.

:D

There was an old man who turned blue

Woof
12-29-2007, 07:00 PM
There was an old man who turned blue
Because he had sniffed too much glue

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 07:13 PM
There was an old man who turned blue
Because he had sniffed too much glue
His neighbors all giggled

Woof
12-29-2007, 07:17 PM
There was an old man who turned blue
Because he had sniffed too much glue
His neighbors all giggled
When his body wiggled

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 07:26 PM
There was an old man who turned blue
Because he had sniffed too much glue
His neighbors all giggled
When his body wiggled
And jumped like a blue kangaroo.

;)

"What big eyes you have!" said Li'l Red

Woof
12-29-2007, 07:33 PM
"What big eyes you have!" said Li'l Red
"Are you sure you've taken your med?"

Nymtoc
12-29-2007, 07:45 PM
"What big eyes you have!" said Li'l Red
"Are you sure you've taken your med?"
"Of course, dear," said Granny

Woof
12-29-2007, 07:48 PM
"What big eyes you have!" said Li'l Red
"Are you sure you've taken your med?"
"Of course, dear," said Granny
"Well, don't touch my fanny!"

rhymegirl
12-29-2007, 08:04 PM
"What big eyes you have!" said Li'l Red
"Are you sure you've taken your med?"
"Of course, dear," said Granny
"Well, don't touch my fanny!
Or you'll be permanently stuck in that bed."


There once was this cool writing site

Woof
12-29-2007, 08:11 PM
There once was this cool writing site
That was called Absolute Write

rhymegirl
12-29-2007, 08:13 PM
There once was this cool writing site
That was called Absolute Write.
The members were odd

Woof
12-29-2007, 08:16 PM
There once was this cool writing site
That was called Absolute Write.
The members were odd
Both brilliant and flawed

talkwrite
12-29-2007, 10:21 PM
There once was this cool writing site
That was called Absolute Write.
The members were odd
Both brilliant and flawed
They worked hard to give their words life


Once an optimist and a pessimist did marry

rhymegirl
12-29-2007, 11:07 PM
Once an optimist and a pessimist did marry,
Their child was a sweet little fairy,

Kerr
12-30-2007, 07:18 AM
Once an optimist and a pessimist did marry,
Their child was a sweet little fairy,
He said, No, I couldn't."

PrettySpecialGal
12-30-2007, 07:33 AM
Once an optimist and a pessimist did marry,
Their child was a sweet little fairy,
He said, "No, I couldn't."
Just knowing he shouldn't

Joycecwilliams
12-30-2007, 09:27 AM
Once an optimist and a pessimist did marry,
Their child was a sweet little fairy,
He said, "No, I couldn't."
Just knowing he shouldn't
And turned Miss Smith into Harry.

Joycecwilliams
12-30-2007, 09:27 AM
Sponge Bob and Patrick are great!

Woof
12-30-2007, 05:47 PM
Sponge Bob and Patrick are great!
Their nonsense and mirth are innate

oneblindmouse
12-30-2007, 10:21 PM
Sponge Bob and Patrick are great!
Their nonsense and mirth are innate
They joke loud and long

Lizbeth0925FL
12-30-2007, 11:43 PM
Sponge Bob and Patrick are great!
Their nonsense and mirth are innate
They joke loud and long
both break out in song

PrettySpecialGal
12-31-2007, 05:17 AM
Sponge Bob and Patrick are great!
Their nonsense and mirth are innate
They joke loud and long
both break out in song
But neither of them have a mate


There once was a schoolteacher gal

Joycecwilliams
12-31-2007, 09:03 AM
There once was a schoolteacher gal
Who wanted to find a man pal

Kerr
12-31-2007, 09:18 AM
There once was a schoolteacher gal
Who wanted to find a man pal
She wrote out a test

Joycecwilliams
12-31-2007, 10:17 AM
There once was a schoolteacher gal
Who wanted to find a man pal
She wrote out a test
To find the best

Woof
12-31-2007, 06:07 PM
There once was a schoolteacher gal
Who wanted to find a man pal
She wrote out a test
To find the best
But he was worse than a root canal.



A writer who wrote in the nude

Joycecwilliams
12-31-2007, 06:17 PM
A writer who wrote in the nude
Snub folks who said it was crude.

Woof
12-31-2007, 06:21 PM
A writer who wrote in the nude
Snub folks who said it was crude.
So he raised his quill

HeronW
12-31-2007, 07:14 PM
A writer who wrote in the nude
Snub folks who said it was crude.
So he raised his quill
wielding it with a will

Kerr
01-01-2008, 12:42 AM
A writer who wrote in the nude
Snub folks who said it was crude.
So he raised his quill
wielding it with a will
Yet his sex scene was still pooh-poohed.

A maniac wielding an ax

HeronW
01-01-2008, 01:03 AM
A maniac wielding an ax
was stopped when his weapon was taxed

Lizbeth0925FL
01-01-2008, 05:37 AM
A maniac wielding an ax
was stopped when his weapon was taxed
he found he was broke

Kerr
01-01-2008, 07:53 AM
A maniac wielding an ax
was stopped when his weapon was taxed
he found he was broke
when the IRS bloke

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 07:48 PM
A maniac wielding an ax
was stopped when his weapon was taxed
he found he was broke
when the IRS bloke
sent him an invoice by fax

Awaking this morning I find

Woof
01-01-2008, 07:52 PM
Awaking this morning I find
A squeaking rodent who is blind

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 08:01 PM
Awaking this morning I find
A squeaking rodent who is blind
And slurping down tea

Woof
01-01-2008, 08:03 PM
Awaking this morning I find
A squeaking rodent who is blind
And slurping down tea
While strangling a flea

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 08:09 PM
Awaking this morning I find
A squeaking rodent who is blind
And slurping down tea
While strangling a flea
that threatened to bite her behind.

The hangover when it hit home

Woof
01-01-2008, 08:17 PM
The hangover when it hit home
Sent a lightning bolt through my dome

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 08:23 PM
The hangover when it hit home
Sent a lightning bolt through my dome
Those rum and tequilas

Lizbeth0925FL
01-01-2008, 08:23 PM
The hangover when it hit home
Sent a lightning bolt through my dome
Those rum and tequilas
in my pajamas

Kerr
01-01-2008, 08:42 PM
The hangover when it hit home
Sent a lightning bolt through my dome
Those rum and tequilas
in my pajamas
had me pacing and longing to roam.

The New Year got snowed under

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 08:43 PM
The New Year got snowed under
Amidst the storms and thunder

Woof
01-01-2008, 09:59 PM
The New Year got snowed under
Amidst the storms and thunder
The revelers were buried

oneblindmouse
01-01-2008, 10:08 PM
The New Year got snowed under
Amidst the storms and thunder
The revelers were buried
All mince pied and merryd

Woof
01-01-2008, 10:10 PM
The New Year got snowed under
Amidst the storms and thunder
The revelers were buried
All mince pied and merryd
Their clothing all ripped asunder.


Should old acquaintance be forgot?

HeronW
01-02-2008, 12:14 AM
Should old acquaintance be forgot?
or simply buried under a pot?

PattiTheWicked
01-02-2008, 12:28 AM
Should old acquaintance be forgot?
or simply buried under a pot?
Maybe chained to a pole,

Lizbeth0925FL
01-02-2008, 01:03 AM
Should old acquaintance be forgot?
or simply buried under a pot?
Maybe chained to a pole,
with a hot yeast roll

rhymegirl
01-02-2008, 01:49 AM
Should old acquaintance be forgot?
or simply buried under a pot?
Maybe chained to a pole,
with a hot yeast roll
_________________
Or tossed in an empty parking lot.


My new year is starting out great

Kerr
01-02-2008, 07:07 AM
My new year is starting out great
I just returned home from a date

PattiTheWicked
01-02-2008, 08:22 AM
My new year is starting out great
I just returned home from a date
I would've got lucky,

oneblindmouse
01-02-2008, 11:24 AM
My new year is starting out great
I just returned home from a date
I would've got lucky,
But things came unstucky

Sir_Nigel
01-02-2008, 01:18 PM
My new year is starting out great
I just returned home from a date
I would've got lucky,
But things came unstucky
When he asked if I’d put on some weight


There was a young lady called Hannah

oneblindmouse
01-02-2008, 01:27 PM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who sometimes unfurled her green banner

HeronW
01-02-2008, 03:58 PM
There was a young lady called Hannah
who sometimes unfurled her green banner
It left her bemused