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oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 11:59 PM
Oops, sorry!

There once was a lady in Rome

oneblindmouse
11-22-2007, 12:00 AM
Soory, folks, one glass of wine and I can't count 5 lines!!! Delete my Lady of Rome, please!

Woof
11-22-2007, 01:04 AM
Where were we...? ah, yes...

Beware of the pigs that can fly
as they swoop about in the sky
Pig poop can stain ya'
And dead pigs can brain ya'
Look! A porcine bomber is nigh!


The pen is mightier than the sword

eodmatt
11-22-2007, 01:29 AM
The pen is mightier than the sword
But deeds more meaningful than words

Woof
11-22-2007, 05:54 PM
The pen is mightier than the sword
But deeds more meaningful than words
The deed to a house

oneblindmouse
11-22-2007, 06:08 PM
The pen is mightier than the sword
But deeds more meaningful than words
The deed to a house
Or a book by a louse

Woof
11-22-2007, 06:14 PM
The pen is mightier than the sword
But deeds more meaningful than words
The deed to a house
Or a book by a louse
Who wrote under a floor board.


There once was a writer who drank

oneblindmouse
11-22-2007, 06:21 PM
There once was a writer who drank
And performed an incredible prank

Woof
11-22-2007, 06:42 PM
There once was a writer who drank
And performed an incredible prank
He penned the tale

Eternal Student
11-22-2007, 06:42 PM
There once was a writer who drank
And performed an incredible prank
He penned the tale
o'er a flagon of ale

Woof
11-22-2007, 08:06 PM
There once was a writer who drank
And performed an incredible prank
He penned the tale
o'er a flagon of ale
He and his story really stank


A woman came back from the dead

oneblindmouse
11-22-2007, 08:50 PM
A woman came back from the dead
And complained of the pain in her head

Woof
11-22-2007, 09:02 PM
A woman came back from the dead
And complained of the pain in her head
She'd been shot in the brain

rosebud1981
11-22-2007, 09:23 PM
A woman came back from the dead
And complained of the pain in her head
She'd been shot in the brain
For being too vane

Wraith
11-22-2007, 09:38 PM
A woman came back from the dead
And complained of the pain in her head
She'd been shot in the brain
For being too vane
And now she's a pretty undead.

A wave once hit on a rock

Nymtoc
11-22-2007, 09:57 PM
A wave once hit on a rock
At the edge of a sea monster's Loch

Woof
11-22-2007, 10:18 PM
A wave once hit on a rock
At the edge of a sea monster's Loch
A bagpipe was heard

Nymtoc
11-22-2007, 11:26 PM
A wave once hit on a rock
At the edge of a sea monster's Loch
A bagpipe was heard
Then a rare gooney bird

Wraith
11-22-2007, 11:59 PM
A wave once hit on a rock
At the edge of a sea monster's Loch
A bagpipe was heard
Then a rare gooney bird
Flew by and started yelling in shock.

Two dwarves once met on a road

Nymtoc
11-23-2007, 01:08 AM
Two dwarves once met on a road
Patrolled by a militant toad

Wraith
11-23-2007, 01:22 AM
Two dwarves once met on a road
Patrolled by a militant toad
They got in a fight

oneblindmouse
11-23-2007, 03:29 AM
Two dwarves once met on a road
Patrolled by a militant toad
They got in a fight
That lasted all night
__________________

brokenthought
11-23-2007, 09:12 AM
Two dwarves once met on a road
Patrolled by a militant toad
They got in a fight
That lasted all night
It ended with toad a la mode

My physics teacher is bald

oneblindmouse
11-23-2007, 04:54 PM
My physics teacher is bald
Which keeps all his students enthralled

Woof
11-23-2007, 11:42 PM
My physics teacher is bald
Which keeps all his students enthralled
They write on his head

oneblindmouse
11-23-2007, 11:45 PM
My physics teacher is bald
Which keeps all his students enthralled
They write on his head
And post on this thread

Woof
11-24-2007, 12:28 AM
My physics teacher is bald
Which keeps all his students enthralled
They write on his head
And post on this thread
Is that why these limericks are mauled?


There once was a shepherd from Greece

oneblindmouse
11-24-2007, 12:48 AM
There once was a shepherd from Greece
Who wore a superb golden fleece

Woof
11-24-2007, 12:52 AM
There once was a shepherd from Greece
Who wore a superb golden fleece
The God Zeus was jealous

Nymtoc
11-24-2007, 12:59 AM
There once was a shepherd from Greece
Who wore a superb golden fleece
The God Zeus was jealous
Hurled thunderbolts on Hellas

Woof
11-24-2007, 01:10 AM
There once was a shepherd from Greece
Who wore a superb golden fleece
The God Zeus was jealous
Hurled thunderbolts on Hellas
And came to blows with Hercules.


A man who thought the earth was flat

Nymtoc
11-24-2007, 01:13 AM
A man who thought the earth was flat
Set out to prove exactly that

Woof
11-24-2007, 01:17 AM
A man who thought the earth was flat
Set out to prove exactly that
He raced to the edge

Nymtoc
11-24-2007, 06:10 AM
A man who thought the earth was flat
Set out to prove exactly that
He raced to the edge
Stubbed his toe on a ledge

Woof
11-24-2007, 06:53 PM
A man who thought the earth was flat
Set out to prove exactly that
He raced to the edge
Stubbed his toe on a ledge
And fell off the world with a splat.


I dreamed that I walked outside nude

oneblindmouse
11-24-2007, 08:51 PM
I dreamed that I walked outside nude
So you really can't call me a prude

Woof
11-24-2007, 11:51 PM
I dreamed that I walked outside nude
So you really can't call me a prude
Then I was seen by a cop

choppersmom
11-25-2007, 12:44 AM
I dreamed that I walked outside nude
So you really can't call me a prude
Then I was seen by a cop
Then I spun like a top

Nymtoc
11-25-2007, 09:09 AM
I dreamed that I walked outside nude
So you really can't call me a prude
Then I was seen by a cop
Then I spun like a top
The arrest warrant read "Acting lewd."

:Shrug:

There once was a man from St. Kitts

choppersmom
11-25-2007, 09:37 AM
There once was a man from St. Kitts
Who had a really nice pair of...mitts (What did you think I was going to say??)

onestepp
11-25-2007, 09:38 AM
There once was a man from St. Kitts
who had a really nice pair of...mitts
eaten by hippos

Woof
11-25-2007, 07:43 PM
There once was a man from St. Kitts
who had a really nice pair of...mitts
eaten by hippos
do you suppose?

Nymtoc
11-25-2007, 08:21 PM
There once was a man from St. Kitts
who had a really nice pair of...mitts
eaten by hippos
do you suppose?
No one knows, but the hippos had fits.

:e2paperba

A prince fell in love with a cow

brokenthought
11-25-2007, 08:29 PM
There once was a man from St. Kitts
who had a really nice pair of...mitts
eaten by hippos
do you suppose?
that they were sad that the mitts do not fit

Michael Jackson really scares me!!

brokenthought
11-25-2007, 08:31 PM
ooooh, beat me to it!

A prince fell in love with a cow
who drove an enormous snow plow

Woof
11-25-2007, 08:32 PM
A prince fell in love with a cow
Rejecting his heartbroken sow

brokenthought
11-25-2007, 08:36 PM
A prince fell in love with a cow
Rejecting his heartbroken sow
the king was quite mad

Woof
11-25-2007, 08:40 PM
A prince fell in love with a cow
Rejecting his heartbroken sow
the king was quite mad
That his bestial lad

Nymtoc
11-25-2007, 08:48 PM
A prince fell in love with a cow
Rejecting his heartbroken sow
the king was quite mad
That his bestial lad
Chose a kuh instead of a frau.

:e2violin:

The weirdest thing happened last summer

oneblindmouse
11-25-2007, 09:02 PM
The weirdest thing happened last summer
I dated an octopus drummer

Jabs
11-25-2007, 09:06 PM
The weirdest thing happened last summer
I dated an octopus drummer
his tentacles froze

oneblindmouse
11-25-2007, 09:12 PM
The weirdest thing happened last summer
I dated an octopus drummer
his tentacles froze
and so did my nose

oneblindmouse
11-25-2007, 09:13 PM
The weirdest thing happened last summer
I dated an octopus drummer
his tentacles froze
and so did my nose
which was one hell of a bummer!

A lady from Chanson le Mer

Jabs
11-25-2007, 09:17 PM
A lady from Chanson le Mer
was brushing her tangled-up hair

eodmatt
11-25-2007, 09:20 PM
A lady from Chanson le Mer
was brushing her tangled-up hair
When without any warning

oneblindmouse
11-25-2007, 11:05 PM
A lady from Chanson le Mer
was brushing her tangled-up hair
When without any warning
The day began dawning

Nymtoc
11-26-2007, 03:55 AM
A lady from Chanson le Mer
was brushing her tangled-up hair
When without any warning
The day began dawning
And hair fell all over her chair.

:Wha:

"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello

Jabs
11-26-2007, 09:43 AM
"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello
"But why, I'm such a respectable fellow?"

Joycecwilliams
11-26-2007, 10:16 AM
"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello
"But why, I'm such a respectable fellow?"
"It's your dink" she replied

eodmatt
11-26-2007, 10:38 AM
"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello
"But why, I'm such a respectable fellow?"
"It's your dink" she replied
(I'm afraid that she lied)

Woof
11-26-2007, 06:55 PM
"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello
"But why, I'm such a respectable fellow?"
"It's your dink" she replied
(I'm afraid that she lied)
"It's your buttocks - they're soft as a pillow."


The trouble with Lady Macbeth

talkwrite
11-26-2007, 06:57 PM
"Have you cheated on me?" said Othello
"But why, I'm such a respectable fellow?"
"It's your dink" she replied
(I'm afraid that she lied)
Then why are your feet on the pillow?

Undercover Al hired on in Customer Servce at Master Card

Nymtoc
11-26-2007, 08:23 PM
(Woof got there first, so I'll take his line.)

The trouble with Lady Macbeth
Was that she got her jollies from death

oneblindmouse
11-26-2007, 08:32 PM
There once was a bat in a belfry

oneblindmouse
11-26-2007, 08:33 PM
Sorry, folks, got my pages in a twist. Apologies, apologies.

eodmatt
11-26-2007, 08:44 PM
The trouble with Lady Macbeth
Was that she got her jollies from death
Necrophilia, they say

eodmatt
11-26-2007, 08:45 PM
There once was a bat in a belfry
Whose smell was very unhealthy

oneblindmouse
11-26-2007, 09:11 PM
There once was a bat in a belfry
Whose smell was very unhealthy
When he opened his wings

Jabs
11-26-2007, 09:17 PM
There once was a bat in a belfry
Whose smell was very unhealthy
When he opened his wings
The other bats would sing

Joycecwilliams
11-26-2007, 10:00 PM
The trouble with Lady Macbeth
Was that she got her jollies from death
Necrophilia, they say
They should lock her away

Pthom
11-26-2007, 11:09 PM
There once was a bat in a belfry
Whose smell was very unhealthy
When he opened his wings
The other bats would sing
"Take a bath, bat, and get odor free!"

The trouble with Lady Macbeth
Was that she got her jollies from death
Necrophilia, they say
They should lock her away
Yet, her fetish is better than meth.
___________________________________

When gargoyles and griffins do gyre

Woof
11-26-2007, 11:13 PM
When gargoyles and griffins do gyre
They create a maelstrom of fire

dobiwon
11-26-2007, 11:42 PM
When gargoyles and griffins do gyre
They create a maelstrom of fire
And the slithy toves

oneblindmouse
11-27-2007, 02:05 AM
When gargoyles and griffins do gyre
They create a maelstrom of fire
And the slithy toves
in the borogroves

onestepp
11-27-2007, 07:47 AM
When gargoyles and griffins do gyre
They create a maelstrom of fire
And the slithy toves
In the borogroves
Joined them in the black deep fryer


There was a man who ate swordfish

Woof
11-27-2007, 05:33 PM
There was a man who ate swordfish
All covered with hot horseradish

Nymtoc
11-27-2007, 05:35 PM
There was a man who ate swordfish
All covered with hot horseradish
It stuck in his throat

oneblindmouse
11-27-2007, 05:41 PM
There was a man who ate swordfish
All covered with hot horseradish
It stuck in his throat
Which just got his goat

dobiwon
11-27-2007, 05:44 PM
There was a man who ate swordfish
All covered with hot horseradish
It stuck in his throat
Which just got his goat
As vomiting became sort of faddish.


A wiley old women from Greece

Woof
11-27-2007, 05:52 PM
A wiley old women from Greece
Rented the Parthenon on lease

dobiwon
11-27-2007, 06:08 PM
A wiley old women from Greece
Rented the Parthenon on lease
For two drachma a month

Woof
11-27-2007, 06:19 PM
A wiley old women from Greece
Rented the Parthenon on lease
For two drachma a month
Which is due on the ninth

Kerr
11-27-2007, 09:00 PM
A wily old women from Greece
Rented the Parthenon on lease
For two drachma a month
Which is due on the ninth
For a rhyme-athon if you please!

There once was a cat with nine lives

Jabs
11-27-2007, 09:20 PM
There once was a cat with nine lives
Who recently began to eat chives

oneblindmouse
11-27-2007, 10:22 PM
There once was a cat with nine lives
Who recently began to eat chives
But chives made him sick

dobiwon
11-27-2007, 10:28 PM
There once was a cat with nine lives
Who recently began to eat chives
But chives made him sick
And vomit a brick

Jabs
11-27-2007, 10:43 PM
There once was a cat with nine lives
Who recently began to eat chives
But chives made him sick
And vomit a brick
Which really grossed out all his wives


A long time ago in Lubbock

dobiwon
11-27-2007, 10:47 PM
A long time ago in Lubbock
In the grime, the dirt, and the muck

oneblindmouse
11-27-2007, 11:04 PM
A long time ago in Lubbock
A man snoozed in a hammock

Joycecwilliams
11-28-2007, 08:14 AM
A long time ago in Lubbock
In the grime, the dirt, and the muck
Rose the great Buddy Holly

Woof
11-28-2007, 05:23 PM
A long time ago in Lubbock
In the grime, the dirt, and the muck
Rose the great Buddy Holly
Writing songs melancholy

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 05:29 PM
A long time ago in Lubbock
In the grime, the dirt, and the muck
Rose the great Buddy Holly
Writing songs melancholy
(He should have travelled by truck)


An irreverent writer of poems

Woof
11-28-2007, 05:31 PM
An irreverent writer of poems
Wrote volumes of boring tomes

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 05:34 PM
An irreverent writer of poems
Wrote volumes of boring tomes
He used naughty words

Joycecwilliams
11-28-2007, 05:39 PM
An irreverent writer of poems
Wrote volumes of boring tomes
He used naughty words
Making them sound more absurd.

Woof
11-28-2007, 05:44 PM
An irreverent writer of poems
Wrote volumes of boring tomes
He used naughty words
Making them sound more absurd.
The only good reviews were from gnomes.


I encountered a very rude crow

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 05:45 PM
An irreverent writer of poems
Wrote volumes of boring tomes
He used naughty words
Making them sound more absurd.
An only make sense to the gnomes.


A troll who lived under a bridge

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 05:46 PM
Following Woof's lead:

I encountered a very rude crow
Who looked like someone I know

Woof
11-28-2007, 05:50 PM
I encountered a very rude crow
Who looked like someone I know
He had a large beak

eodmatt
11-28-2007, 05:53 PM
I encountered a very rude crow
Who looked like someone I know
He had a large beak
Which I gave a tweak

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 05:55 PM
I encountered a very rude crow
Who looked like someone I know
He had a large beak
Which I gave a tweak
Eliciting a sneeze and a blow.


A troll who lived under a bridge

Woof
11-28-2007, 05:58 PM
A troll who lived under a bridge
Charged a toll from those poor and rich

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 06:03 PM
A troll who lived under a bridge
Charged a toll from those poor and rich
A nickel to pass


(keep it clean now ;) )

Woof
11-28-2007, 06:09 PM
A troll who lived under a bridge
Charged a toll from those poor and rich
A nickel to pass
Whether donkey or ass (what? that's not clean?!)

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 06:13 PM
A troll who lived under a bridge
Charged a toll from those poor and rich
A nickel to pass
Whether donkey or ass
Or male dog or even a bitch (just as clean?!)


A dollar equals four quarters

Woof
11-28-2007, 06:19 PM
A dollar equals four quarters
According to miserly hoarders

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 06:20 PM
A dollar equals four quarters
According to miserly hoarders
Except in New York

Nymtoc
11-28-2007, 08:03 PM
A dollar equals four quarters
According to miserly hoarders
Except in New York
Where even a dork

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 08:16 PM
A dollar equals four quarters
According to miserly hoarders
Except in New York
Where even a dork
Can be an economic reporter.



I'll start with an easier rhyme

rosebud1981
11-28-2007, 09:18 PM
I'll start with an easier rhyme
Which gets harder all the time

Woof
11-28-2007, 11:12 PM
I'll start with an easier rhyme
Which gets harder all the time
No free verse here

dobiwon
11-28-2007, 11:18 PM
I'll start with an easier rhyme
Which gets harder all the time
No free verse here
It has to please the ear

Joycecwilliams
11-28-2007, 11:33 PM
I'll start with an easier rhyme
Which gets harder all the time
No free verse here
It has to please the ear
Or we'll considerate it a crime.

Joycecwilliams
11-28-2007, 11:33 PM
I never was one for hunks.

Woof
11-28-2007, 11:37 PM
I never was one for hunks.
Or for muscle-bound lunks

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 12:03 AM
I never was one for hunks.
Or for muscle-bound lunks
With abs of steel

Melisande
11-29-2007, 12:54 AM
I never was one for hunks.
Or for muscle-bound lunks
With abs of steel
and an Achilles' heel

Nymtoc
11-29-2007, 01:10 AM
I never was one for hunks.
Or for muscle-bound lunks
With abs of steel
And an Achilles' heel
And a smell that could rival a skunk's.

:cool:

When Hamlet conferred with a ghost

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 01:27 AM
When Hamlet conferred with a ghost
Uninvited to his weiner roast

Woof
11-29-2007, 01:46 AM
When Hamlet conferred with a ghost
Uninvited to his weiner roast
He learned of deceit

Nymtoc
11-29-2007, 02:06 AM
When Hamlet conferred with a ghost
Uninvited to his weiner roast
He learned of deceit
On a royal bedsheet

Pthom
11-29-2007, 03:58 AM
When Hamlet conferred with a ghost
Uninvited to his weiner roast
He learned of deceit
On a royal bedsheet
Then he shrugged, spread more jam on his toast.

They say brandy is bad for your liver

Nymtoc
11-29-2007, 04:20 AM
They say brandy is bad for your liver
And gin makes your pancreas quiver

Verballady
11-29-2007, 04:49 AM
They say brandy is bad for your liver
And gin makes your pancreas quiver
But beer feeds the brain

Joycecwilliams
11-29-2007, 06:24 AM
They say brandy is bad for your liver
And gin makes your pancreas quiver
But beer feeds the brain
A lie I maintain

Woof
11-29-2007, 06:14 PM
They say brandy is bad for your liver
And gin makes your pancreas quiver
But beer feeds the brain
A lie I maintain
Though your bladder flows like a river.


A turtle broke out of her shell

rosebud1981
11-29-2007, 06:31 PM
A turtle broke out of her shell
And scaled the pits of hell

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 07:26 PM
A turtle broke out of her shell
And scaled the pits of hell
Leaving the fire

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 07:28 PM
A turtle broke out of her shell
And scaled the pits of hell
Leaving the fire
She sought her desire
__________________

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 07:32 PM
A turtle broke out of her shell
And scaled the pits of hell
Leaving the fire
She sought her desire
And now makes the soup taste real swell.


A baker of sweets in his shop

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 07:34 PM
A baker of sweets in his shop
Liked whisky, and more than a drop

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 07:37 PM
baker of sweets in his shop
Liked whisky, and more than a drop
Instead of cane sugar

Woof
11-29-2007, 07:38 PM
A baker of sweets in his shop
Liked whisky, and more than a drop
He soused a cake

Jabs
11-29-2007, 07:38 PM
baker of sweets in his shop
Liked whisky, and more than a drop
Instead of cane sugar
he called on Lex Luger

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 07:44 PM
A baker of sweets in his shop
Liked whisky, and more than a drop
Instead of cane sugar
he called on Lex Luger
and asked him to make it a swap.

A pretty young thing from Dubai

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 07:46 PM
A pretty young thing from Dubai
Taught her baby to wave bye-bye

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 07:48 PM
A pretty young thing from Dubai
Taught her baby to wave bye-bye
She waved all day long
__________________

Joycecwilliams
11-29-2007, 08:11 PM
A pretty young thing from Dubai
Taught her baby to wave bye-bye
She waved all day long
While mom toked a bong

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 08:43 PM
A pretty young thing from Dubai
Taught her baby to wave bye-bye
She waved all day long
While mom toked a bong
Till CPS happened by.



Look quickly or you're going to miss

Joycecwilliams
11-29-2007, 09:18 PM
Look quickly or you're going to miss
Something to add to your bliss

Woof
11-29-2007, 09:47 PM
Look quickly or you're going to miss
Something to add to your bliss
It sticks to your skin

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 10:12 PM
Look quickly or you're going to miss
Something to add to your bliss
It sticks to your skin
And makes you look thin

Woof
11-29-2007, 10:18 PM
Look quickly or you're going to miss
Something to add to your bliss
It sticks to your skin
And makes you look thin
And sucks out your blood with a hiss



A wood pecker was out on a limb

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 10:22 PM
A woodpecker was out on a limb
Being more of a her than a him

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 10:25 PM
A woodpecker was out on a limb
Being more of a her than a him
He wiggled his tail

Woof
11-29-2007, 10:27 PM
A woodpecker was out on a limb
Being more of a her than a him
He wiggled his tail
To entice a male

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 10:39 PM
A woodpecker was out on a limb
Being more of a her than a him
He wiggled his tail
To entice a male
But the prospects were ever so grim

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 10:43 PM
A woodpecker was out on a limb
Being more of a her than a him
He wiggled his tail
To entice a male
Now they're off to San Fran on a whim.



On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 10:47 PM
On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf
I met a Mongolian dwarf

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 10:52 PM
On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf
I met a Mongolian dwarf
Who thought he was tall

Nymtoc
11-29-2007, 11:04 PM
On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf
I met a Mongolian dwarf
Who thought he was tall
Learned to play baskeball

oneblindmouse
11-29-2007, 11:09 PM
On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf
I met a Mongolian dwarf
Who thought he was tall
Learned to play baskeball
But all that he scored was a laugh!
__________________

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 11:12 PM
On vacation on Fisherman's Wharf
I met a Mongolian dwarf
Who thought he was tall
Learned to play baskeball
And into a giant did morph.



A cowpoke rode into Loredo

Woof
11-29-2007, 11:19 PM
A cowpoke rode into Loredo
Into the path of a tornado

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 11:24 PM
A cowpoke rode into Loredo
Into the path of a tornado
He held tight the reins

Joycecwilliams
11-29-2007, 11:26 PM
A cowpoke rode into Loredo
Into the path of a tornado
He held tight the reins
Till blood pooped his veins

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 11:27 PM
A cowpoke rode into Loredo
Into the path of a tornado
He held tight the reins
Till blood pooped his veins
And he turned into scarlet Play-Doh.



If I finished my novel today

Joycecwilliams
11-29-2007, 11:29 PM
If I finished my novel today
I will then have the weekend to play.

dobiwon
11-29-2007, 11:35 PM
If I finished my novel today
I will then have the weekend to play.
So I'd better work

oneblindmouse
11-30-2007, 12:03 AM
If I finished my novel today
I will then have the weekend to play.
So I'd better work
And sweat like a jerk

Melisande
11-30-2007, 12:44 AM
If I finished my novel today
I will then have the weekend to play.
So I'd better work
And sweat like a jerk
'cause I don't know what to say.

- - -

There once was a girl from El Paso

dobiwon
11-30-2007, 01:06 AM
There once was a girl from El Paso
Whose figure resembled a lasso

Woof
11-30-2007, 01:08 AM
There once was a girl from El Paso
Whose figure resembled a lasso
She was roped and hog-tied

Pthom
11-30-2007, 01:29 AM
There once was a girl from El Paso
Whose figure resembled a lasso
She was roped and hog-tied
Oh, her future was fried!

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 02:56 AM
There once was a girl from El Paso
Whose figure resembled a lasso
She was roped and hog-tied
Oh, her future was fried!
But she fooled 'em all. Now she's a basso.

:Guitar:

"Bah! Humbug!" said Scrooge. "This is folly!"

Joycecwilliams
11-30-2007, 04:25 AM
"Bah! Humbug!" said Scrooge. "This is folly!"
Only Santa thinks Christmas is jolly.

Kerr
11-30-2007, 04:54 AM
"Bah! Humbug!" said Scrooge. "This is folly!"
Only Santa thinks Christmas is jolly.
If I steal all the toys....

Jabs
11-30-2007, 05:17 AM
"Bah! Humbug!" said Scrooge. "This is folly!"
Only Santa thinks Christmas is jolly.
If I steal all the toys
From the good girls and boys

Joycecwilliams
11-30-2007, 06:07 AM
"Bah! Humbug!" said Scrooge. "This is folly!"
Only Santa thinks Christmas is jolly.
If I steal all the toys
From the good girls and boys
and stuff stockings with pinching holly.
__________________

Joycecwilliams
11-30-2007, 06:10 AM
There once was a man from New York.

Pthom
11-30-2007, 06:22 AM
There once was a man from New York
Who was sadly addicted to pork.

Jabs
11-30-2007, 06:41 AM
There once was a man from New York
Who was sadly addicted to pork.
He loved ham and bacon

kellytijer
11-30-2007, 07:58 AM
There once was a man from New York
Who was sadly addicted to pork.
He loved ham and bacon
But replaced them with "Steak-Um"

Serena Casey
11-30-2007, 07:58 AM
There once was a man from New York
Who was sadly addicted to pork.
He loved ham and bacon
With sausage quite taken,

I'm too late. "Steak-Um" is cleverer!

Serena Casey
11-30-2007, 08:38 AM
There once was a man from New York
Who was sadly addicted to pork.
He loved ham and bacon
But replaced them with "Steak-Um"
Yes, he sure was a dork.

Whenever you're feeling depressed

Theognome
11-30-2007, 08:44 AM
Whenever you're feeling depressed,
Let a friend help you get fully undressed

Kerr
11-30-2007, 04:51 PM
Whenever you're feeling depressed,
Let a friend help you get fully undressed
Get right to the root of the problem

Woof
11-30-2007, 06:23 PM
Whenever you're feeling depressed,
Let a friend help you get fully undressed
Get right to the root of the problem
Don't fight or endeavor to stop them

Joycecwilliams
11-30-2007, 10:38 PM
Whenever you're feeling depressed,
Let a friend help you get fully undressed
Get right to the root of the problem
Don't fight or endeavor to stop them
Just remember don't ever confess.


A woman who thought she was smart.

Woof
11-30-2007, 10:50 PM
A woman who thought she was smart
Was brainy but hadn't a heart

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 10:56 PM
A woman who thought she was smart
Was brainy but hadn't a heart
More nasty than nice

Woof
11-30-2007, 11:01 PM
A woman who thought she was smart
Was brainy but hadn't a heart
More nasty than nice
And colder than ice

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 11:13 PM
A woman who thought she was smart
Was brainy but hadn't a heart
More nasty than nice
And colder than ice
Her chilliness went off the chart.

:hat:

A bow-legged man rode a mule

Woof
11-30-2007, 11:21 PM
A bow-legged man rode a mule
All covered in lice and thick drool

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 11:24 PM
A bow-legged man rode a mule
All covered in lice and thick drool
He rode for a mile

Woof
11-30-2007, 11:33 PM
A bow-legged man rode a mule
All covered in lice and thick drool
He rode for a mile
Then spewed some bile

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 11:45 PM
A bow-legged man rode a mule
All covered in lice and thick drool
He rode for a mile
Then spewed some bile
When some kids shouted, "Look at the fool!"

:D

Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting

Woof
11-30-2007, 11:51 PM
Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting
She got Caesar and Antony panting

Nymtoc
11-30-2007, 11:55 PM
Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting
She got Caesar and Antony panting
As she sailed up the Nile

Woof
12-01-2007, 12:03 AM
Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting
She got Caesar and Antony panting
As she sailed up the Nile
In Pharoahnic style

Nymtoc
12-01-2007, 12:09 AM
Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting
She got Caesar and Antony panting
As she sailed up the Nile
In Pharoahnic style
Her favors, they say, she kept granting.

:D

There once was a lad called Tom Thumb

Woof
12-01-2007, 12:15 AM
There once was a lad called Tom Thumb
Who stuck his finger up his bum

Nymtoc
12-01-2007, 12:17 AM
There once was a lad called Tom Thumb
Who stuck his finger up his bum
His mom said, "That's bad!"

Woof
12-01-2007, 12:23 AM
There once was a lad called Tom Thumb
Who stuck his finger up his bum
His mom said, "That's bad!"
"Just mimicking Dad!"

Nymtoc
12-01-2007, 12:32 AM
There once was a lad called Tom Thumb
Who stuck his finger up his bum
His mom said, "That's bad!"
"Just mimicking Dad!"
Well, it's clear that whole family was dumb.

;)

There once was a man from Seattle

Woof
12-01-2007, 12:43 AM
There once was a man from Seattle
Whose snake he tried to de-rattle

Nymtoc
12-01-2007, 12:46 AM
There once was a man from Seattle
Whose snake he tried to de-rattle
But the snake was too quick

Woof
12-01-2007, 12:58 AM
There once was a man from Seattle
Whose snake he tried to de-rattle
But the snake was too quick
(I smell a setup - oh, what the heck...)
And bit him on the prick

Pthom
12-01-2007, 01:05 AM
There once was a man from Seattle
Whose snake he tried to de-rattle
But the snake was too quick
And bit him on the prick
You could say, that man lost the battle.

My girlfriend has no cell phone

PattiTheWicked
12-01-2007, 02:03 AM
My girlfriend has no cell phone
Sometimes, when she's out alone,

eodmatt
12-01-2007, 02:10 AM
My girlfriend has no cell phone
Sometimes, when she's out alone,
She tries telepathic thought transference

brokenthought
12-01-2007, 02:13 AM
My girlfriend has no cell phone
Sometimes, when she's out alone,
She tries telepathic thought transference
But satelites cause interference

eodmatt
12-01-2007, 02:30 AM
My girlfriend has no cell phone
Sometimes, when she's out alone,
She tries telepathic thought transference
But satellites cause interference
I really must get her a dog and bone (Cockney rhyming slang for phone)

An elegant gentleman from Sakhalin

Kerr
12-01-2007, 02:31 AM
Cleopatra, they say, was enchanting
Though royalty's oh so demanding

brokenthought
12-01-2007, 03:34 AM
An elegant gentleman from Sakhalin
dropped his pocket watch into the latrine

Woof
12-01-2007, 08:35 PM
An elegant gentleman from Sakhalin
dropped his pocket watch into the latrine
He stuck in his arm

Verballady
12-02-2007, 09:47 AM
An elegant gentleman from Sakhalin
dropped his pocket watch into the latrine
He stuck in his arm
Pulled it back in alarm

Woof
12-03-2007, 01:18 AM
An elegant gentleman from Sakhalin
dropped his pocket watch into the latrine
He stuck in his arm
Pulled it back in alarm
Away from a mutant biting sardine


Santa Claus has gone on a diet

Kerr
12-03-2007, 02:20 AM
Santa Claus has gone on a diet
Cause the media too note when he fried it

onestepp
12-03-2007, 08:37 AM
Santa Clause has gone on a diet
Cause the media took note when he fried it
His hat, boots, red suite

PrettySpecialGal
12-03-2007, 09:36 AM
Santa Clause has gone on a diet
Cause the media took note when he fried it
His hat, boots, red "suite"
made him just want to eat

Meaney
12-04-2007, 03:44 PM
Santa Claus has gone on a diet
Cause the media took note when he fried it
His hat, boots, red "suite"
made him just want to eat
until he'd succumb to disquiet.

The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks

Woof
12-04-2007, 05:19 PM
The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks
For a nest of carnivorous snakes

rosebud1981
12-04-2007, 05:43 PM
The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks
For a nest of carnivorous snakes
The cobras ate Rudolf

oneblindmouse
12-04-2007, 10:00 PM
The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks
Then Santa prepared some fine cakes

talkwrite
12-04-2007, 10:13 PM
The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks
For a nest of carnivorous snakes
The cobras ate Rudolf
Prancer did run off

oneblindmouse
12-04-2007, 10:28 PM
The reindeer were slaughtered for steaks
For a nest of carnivorous snakes
The cobras ate Rudolf
Prancer did run off
All trampling the uneaten cakes

A limerick felt so dejected

Woof
12-05-2007, 12:46 AM
A limerick felt so dejected
That he hadn't been elected

PrettySpecialGal
12-05-2007, 03:13 AM
A limerick felt so dejected
That he hadn't been elected
not one vote was cast

Pthom
12-05-2007, 11:06 PM
A limerick felt so dejected
That he hadn't been elected.
Not one vote was cast
So sordid his past!

oneblindmouse
12-05-2007, 11:19 PM
A limerick felt so dejected
That he hadn't been elected.
Not one vote was cast
So sordid his past!
He upped and sadly defected.

A writer who lived in a hole

Nymtoc
12-05-2007, 11:30 PM
A writer who lived in a hole
Fell in love with a literate mole

eodmatt
12-05-2007, 11:49 PM
A writer who lived in a hole
Fell in love with a literate mole
Who wined her and dined her

Kerr
12-06-2007, 12:40 AM
A writer who lived in a hole
Fell in love with a literate mole
Who wined her and dined her
In hopes to entwine her

Woof
12-06-2007, 01:34 AM
A writer who lived in a hole
Fell in love with a literate mole
Who wined her and dined her
In hopes to entwine her
Then bake her in a casserole.


A woman who married a moose

eodmatt
12-06-2007, 02:07 AM
A woman who married a moose
Was known for morals, loose

Nymtoc
12-06-2007, 02:13 AM
A woman who married a moose
Was known for morals, loose
She cheated with stags

Woof
12-06-2007, 02:16 AM
A woman who married a moose
Was known for morals, loose
She cheated with stags
And cavorted with nags

Nymtoc
12-06-2007, 02:23 AM
A woman who married a moose
Was known for morals, loose
She cheated with stags
And cavorted with nags
So the moose sued for spousal abuse.

:cool:

Three witches prepared a hot brew

eodmatt
12-06-2007, 02:48 AM
Three witches prepared a hot brew
Buttered scones and Ocelot stew

Woof
12-06-2007, 05:34 AM
Three witches prepared a hot brew
Buttered scones and Ocelot stew
Spider web tea

Kerr
12-06-2007, 05:37 AM
Three witches prepared a hot brew
Buttered scones and Ocelot stew
Then stirred in a curse

Kerr
12-06-2007, 05:38 AM
Three witches prepared a hot brew
Buttered scones and Ocelot stew
Spider web tea
And tidbits of me

Nymtoc
12-06-2007, 05:43 AM
Three witches prepared a hot brew
Buttered scones and Ocelot stew
Spider web tea
And tidbits of me
And generous dollops of you.

:D

"Let's go find some gold," said the miner.

Woof
12-06-2007, 05:53 AM
"Let's go find some gold," said the miner.
"And take a pan from the diner"

Joycecwilliams
12-06-2007, 06:41 AM
"Let's go find some gold," said the miner.
"And take a pan from the diner"
To the river they traveled
And panned all the gravel

Nymtoc
12-06-2007, 05:30 PM
"Let's go find some gold," said the miner.
"And take a pan from the diner"
To the river they traveled
And panned all the gravel
That sparkled. One's now a designer.

:Shrug:

There once was a man from LaSalle

Woof
12-06-2007, 05:32 PM
There once was a man from LaSalle
Who was lusting after a gal

Solatium
12-07-2007, 11:38 AM
There once was a man from LaSalle
Who was lusting after a gal
So firm and so feisty

oneblindmouse
12-07-2007, 01:19 PM
There once was a man from LaSalle
Who was lusting after a gal
So firm and so feisty
She looked really tasty
__________________

Kerr
12-07-2007, 05:17 PM
There once was a man from LaSalle
Who was mean and nobody's pal

Kerr
12-07-2007, 05:18 PM
There once was a man from LaSalle
Who was lusting after a gal
So firm and so feisty
She looked really tasty
__________________


He married her and made her his pal.

Kerr
12-07-2007, 05:20 PM
Triple oops!

A hot dog from Ishcabibble

oneblindmouse
12-07-2007, 05:49 PM
A hotdog from Ischcabibble
Did argue, split hairs and quibble

Woof
12-07-2007, 06:05 PM
A hotdog from Ischcabibble
Did argue, split hairs and quibble
But he didn't relish

oneblindmouse
12-07-2007, 06:11 PM
A hotdog from Ischcabibble
Did argue, split hairs and quibble
But he didn't relish
An outcome so hellish

Woof
12-07-2007, 06:26 PM
A hotdog from Ischcabibble
Did argue, split hairs and quibble
But he didn't relish
An outcome so hellish
As dying nibble by nibble



A pigeon who flew to New York

Nymtoc
12-07-2007, 06:30 PM
A pigeon who flew to New York
Was mistakenly seen as a stork

Woof
12-07-2007, 06:32 PM
A pigeon who flew to New York
Was mistakenly seen as a stork
So he put on a suit

oneblindmouse
12-07-2007, 09:27 PM
A pigeon who flew to New York
Was mistakenly seen as a stork
So he put on a suit
Struck a note on his flute
__________________