Limericks Live!

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poetinahat

say it loud
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My laptop made ominous sounds
It began to expel coffee grounds
So I hit Control-C
And the thing said to me:
"Get off - You weigh 200 pounds!"

The worst thing about X-ray vision
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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The worst thing about X-ray vision
is reading the Sunday edition
Especially regarding
the dearly departing
 

reph

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The worst thing about X-ray vision
is reading the Sunday edition
Especially regarding
the dearly departing
Through a page that tells where to go fishin'.

If you find a live mouse in your shoe
 

Solatium

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If you find a live mouse in your shoe
While before a judicial review
For God's sake, don't kill it
 

reph

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If you find a live mouse in your shoe
While before a judicial review
For God's sake, don't kill it
Just scatter some millet
 

Meaney

Socialist. Humanist. Solipsist.
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If you find a live mouse in your shoe
While before a judicial review
For God's sake, don't kill it
Just scatter some millet
And plead "Framed by a rat!" (What a coup.)

"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby
 

Pthom

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"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby."
 

Solatium

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"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby."
She wasn't, in fact; she
 

katiemac

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"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby."
She wasn't, in fact; she
was in the loo to pee.
 

PattiTheWicked

Unleashing Hell.
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"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby."
She wasn't, in fact; she
was in the loo to pee.
Stealing Charmin was her favorite hobby.


I'm feeling rather comfortably numb
 

Solatium

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(I cut out a word for the metre's sake; it's still not perfect.)

I'm feeling comfortably numb,
Just sitting here, sucking my thumb,
 

Pat~

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I'm feeling comfortably numb,
Just sitting here, sucking my thumb;
The Prozac's kicked in,
 

reph

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Aside: what I couldn't use, a few steps up:

"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby.
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby.
The room-service clerk
Was a bit of a jerk,
And berating young men is her hobby."

Back on track:

I'm feeling quite comfortably numb,
Just sitting here, sucking my thumb;
The Prozac's kicked in,
With a tumbler of gin,
 
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rhymegirl

It's a New Year!
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Aside: what I couldn't use, a few steps up:

"Daddy, where's Mommy?" asked Bobby.
Said Dad, "Why, she's out in the lobby.
The room-service clerk
Was a bit of a jerk,
And berating young men is her hobby."

Back on track:

I'm feeling quite comfortably numb,
Just sitting here, sucking my thumb;
The Prozac's kicked in,
With a tumbler of gin,
I don't care if the world thinks I'm dumb.

I'm writing an x-rated novel
 

reph

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I'm writing an x-rated novel
The hero of which likes to grovel
When down on her knees
Crying "Sir, if you please,
 

Pthom

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I'm writing an x-rated novel
The hero of which likes to grovel
When down on her knees
Crying "Sir, if you please,
Spank me with the flat side of the shovel!"

The Latvian Princess from Riga
 

reph

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The Latvian Princess from Riga
Did not wish to be thought very eager,
So she rolled in the mud,
Called her tutor a dud,
 

gp101

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The Latvian Princess from Riga
Did not wish to be thought very eager,
So she rolled in the mud,
Called her tutor a dud,
and said, "Teacher, your staff is much bee-gah!"


A nun was repulsed by Greg Brady,
 
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