PDA

View Full Version : Limericks Live!



Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 [19] 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90

dobiwon
11-08-2007, 10:54 PM
A pirate who ran out of rum
Set sail in a leaky old drum

Woof
11-08-2007, 11:05 PM
A pirate who ran out of rum
Set sail in a leaky old drum
He encountered a shark

Pthom
11-09-2007, 12:15 AM
A pirate who ran out of rum
Set sail in a leaky old drum
He encountered a shark
And with caustic remark,

Woof
11-09-2007, 12:33 AM
A pirate who ran out of rum
Set sail in a leaky old drum
He encountered a shark
And with caustic remark,
Skewered the shark up his bum.


There once was a sender of spam

talkwrite
11-09-2007, 01:20 AM
There once was a sender of spam
Whose tee shirts professed Spam I Am

Pthom
11-09-2007, 02:16 AM
There once was a sender of spam
Whose tee shirts professed Spam I Am
But down in the dregs

Woof
11-09-2007, 02:23 AM
There once was a sender of spam
Whose tee shirts professed Spam I Am
But down in the dregs
It's spam and green eggs

Nymtoc
11-09-2007, 02:47 AM
There once was a sender of spam
Whose tee shirts professed Spam I Am
But down in the dregs
It's spam and green eggs
With onions and strawberry jam.

:D

When Dracula smiles some folks shiver

Pthom
11-09-2007, 02:50 AM
When Dracula smiles some folks shiver
And wish for some heat in the flivver.

Woof
11-09-2007, 06:26 PM
When Dracula smiles some folks shiver
And wish for some heat in the flivver
They reach for a stake

dobiwon
11-09-2007, 06:32 PM
When Dracula smiles some folks shiver
And wish for some heat in the flivver
They reach for a stake
As they contemplate

talkwrite
11-09-2007, 09:07 PM
When Dracula smiles some folks shiver
And wish for some heat in the flivver
They reach for a stake
As they contemplate
How to steady the hand that does quiver

'Tis said that bald lovers are best

rosebud1981
11-09-2007, 10:38 PM
'Tis said that bald lovers are best
Which doesn't say much for the rest

dobiwon
11-09-2007, 10:45 PM
'Tis said that bald lovers are best
Which doesn't say much for the rest
With no hair up top

Nymtoc
11-09-2007, 11:12 PM
'Tis said that bald lovers are best
Which doesn't say much for the rest
With no hair up top
Some flip and some flop

rosebud1981
11-10-2007, 09:08 PM
'Tis said that bald lovers are best
Which doesn't say much for the rest
With no hair up top
Some flip and some flop
And deliver the goods when pressed.

There was an old owl from Madrid

Nymtoc
11-10-2007, 10:53 PM
There was an old owl from Madrid
Who dined every night on fried squid

:D

Woof
11-10-2007, 11:54 PM
There was an old owl from Madrid
Who dined every night on fried squid
Got drunk on sangrilla

eodmatt
11-11-2007, 12:06 AM
There was an old owl from Madrid
Who dined every night on fried squid
Got drunk on sangrilla
And played with his "willa"

Joycecwilliams
11-11-2007, 11:26 AM
There was an old owl from Madrid
Who dined every night on fried squid
Got drunk on sangrilla
And played with his "willa"
And he is so happy he did.

Joycecwilliams
11-11-2007, 11:27 AM
A woman from Boston complained

kellytijer
11-11-2007, 11:30 AM
A woman from Boston complained
Amid one's fair grid she was framed

Woof
11-11-2007, 07:09 PM
A woman from Boston complained
Amid one's fair grid she was framed
And charged with the crime

Nymtoc
11-11-2007, 09:31 PM
A woman from Boston complained
Amid one's fair grid she was framed
And charged with the crime
She's now doing time

rosebud1981
11-11-2007, 09:33 PM
A woman from Boston complained
Amid one's fair grid she was framed
And charged with the crime
Of killing a mime

Woof
11-11-2007, 09:54 PM
A woman from Boston complained
Amid one's fair grid she was framed
And charged with the crime
Of killing a mime
After he had just entertained


A dentist who barely could see

Nymtoc
11-11-2007, 09:57 PM
A dentist who barely could see
Was known to pull molars with glee

Woof
11-11-2007, 10:00 PM
A dentist who barely could see
Was known to pull molars with glee
He once drilled the tongue

Joycecwilliams
11-11-2007, 10:45 PM
A dentist who barely could see
Was known to pull molars with glee
He once drilled the tongue
For the pain it had brung

talkwrite
11-12-2007, 01:02 AM
A dentist who barely could see
Was known to pull molars with glee
He once drilled the tongue
For the pain it had brung
Ceasing his wife's endless bitching

Beware of the honest proctologist

Nymtoc
11-12-2007, 03:41 AM
Beware of the honest proctologist
He's also a clever apologist

Joycecwilliams
11-12-2007, 05:10 AM
Beware of the honest proctologist
He's also a clever apologist
Be still and cough

JLCwrites
11-12-2007, 09:22 AM
Beware of the honest proctologist
He's also a clever apologist
Be still and cough
Once your pants are off

Nymtoc
11-12-2007, 12:35 PM
Beware of the honest proctologist
He's also a clever apologist
Be still and cough
Once your pants are off
You may have to see a psychologist.

;)

There once was a chick from Chicago

Word Weaver
11-12-2007, 01:58 PM
There once was a chick from Chicago
Who became a man and sailed to Santiago

Woof
11-12-2007, 06:25 PM
There once was a chick from Chicago
Who became a man and sailed to Santiago
Joan now known as Juan

talkwrite
11-12-2007, 06:41 PM
There once was a chick from Chicago
Who became a man and sailed to Santiago
Joan now known as Juan
Ran for president and won

Nymtoc
11-12-2007, 11:18 PM
There once was a chick from Chicago
Who became a man and sailed to Santiago
Joan now known as Juan
Ran for president and won
Then said, "I regret seeing my bra go."

:e2brows:

A mouse who disliked being small

Woof
11-13-2007, 01:38 AM
A mouse who disliked being small
Drank a potion to make him tall

Wraith
11-13-2007, 01:47 AM
A mouse who disliked being small
Drank a potion to make him tall
It didn't quite work

Woof
11-13-2007, 01:57 AM
A mouse who disliked being small
Drank a potion to make him tall
It didn't quite work
And made him jerk

Word Weaver
11-13-2007, 10:45 AM
A mouse who disliked being small
Drank a potion to make him tall
It didn't quite work
And made him jerk
He's now the size of a gumball



Heed the advice of the widows three

Nymtoc
11-13-2007, 11:55 AM
Heed the advice of the widows three
Who come from over the sea

Woof
11-13-2007, 04:55 PM
Heed the advice of the widows three
Who come from over the sea
"It's better to wed

Joycecwilliams
11-13-2007, 05:21 PM
Heed the advice of the widows three
Who come from over the sea
"It's better to wed
then to die in a bed.

Woof
11-13-2007, 05:31 PM
Heed the advice of the widows three
Who come from over the sea
"It's better to wed
then to die in a bed
And never be kissed on the knee"


A horse who despised eating oats

eodmatt
11-13-2007, 05:58 PM
A horse who despised eating oats
Had to live with a family of goats

Woof
11-13-2007, 06:11 PM
A horse who despised eating oats
Had to live with a family of goats
They only ate trash

eodmatt
11-13-2007, 06:23 PM
A horse who despised eating oats
Had to live with a family of goats
They only ate trash
And cigarette ash

talkwrite
11-13-2007, 07:57 PM
A horse who despised eating oats
Had to live with a family of goats
They only ate trash
And cigarette ash
And were the butt of all jokes

Consider the plight of the ant

Nymtoc
11-13-2007, 08:54 PM
Consider the plight of the ant
He wants to play tennis but can't

talkwrite
11-13-2007, 11:49 PM
Consider the plight of the ant
He wants to play tennis but can't
His backhand is poor

Woof
11-14-2007, 12:02 AM
Consider the plight of the ant
He wants to play tennis but can't
His backhand is poor
His speed is unsure

Nymtoc
11-14-2007, 12:52 AM
Consider the plight of the ant
He wants to play tennis but can't
His backhand is poor
His speed is unsure
People shout, "Hey, go chew on a plant!"

:crazy:

There once was a pirate called Bart

Pthom
11-14-2007, 01:42 AM
There once was a pirate called Bart
Who never fit into the part.

Pat~
11-14-2007, 01:54 AM
There once was a pirate named Bart
Who never fit into the part
He couldn't say "Arrrrrgh!"

Serena Casey
11-14-2007, 02:02 AM
There once was a pirate named Bart
Who never fit into the part
He couldn't say "Arrrrrgh!"
Was afraid of the dark

Nymtoc
11-14-2007, 02:12 AM
There once was a pirate named Bart
Who never fit into the part
He couldn't say "Arrrrrgh!"
Was afraid of the dark
And stealing folks' stuff broke his heart.

;)

"Hooray!" said the captain. "We won!"

eodmatt
11-14-2007, 02:15 AM
There once was a pirate named Bart
Who never fit into the part
He couldn't say "Arrrrrgh!"
Was afraid of the dark
And was hanged from the mast of the Ark


A Nematode from Iceland on day

eodmatt
11-14-2007, 02:16 AM
oh b*llocks you got in before me - I give way !

Woof
11-14-2007, 05:59 PM
A Nematode from Iceland one day
Decided to spawn in the clay

rosebud1981
11-14-2007, 07:29 PM
A Nematode from Iceland one day
Decided to spawn in the clay
But the clay was too dry

oneblindmouse
11-14-2007, 07:47 PM
A Nematode from Iceland one day
Decided to spawn in the clay
But the clay was too dry
So he started to cry

Serena Casey
11-14-2007, 08:09 PM
A Nematode from Iceland one day
Decided to spawn in the clay
But the clay was too dry
So he started to cry
"I can't have offspring this way!"

No matter how wealthy you are

Woof
11-14-2007, 09:26 PM
No matter how wealthy you are
And can buy an expensive new car

Nymtoc
11-14-2007, 10:54 PM
No matter how wealthy you are
And can buy an expensive new car
There's still something missing

onestepp
11-15-2007, 01:39 AM
No matter how wealthy you are
and can buy an expensive car
There's still something missing
Don't buy one hissing

Wraith
11-15-2007, 01:58 AM
No matter how wealthy you are
and can buy an expensive car
There's still something missing
Don't buy one hissing
Or you'll end up in feathers and tar.

An eel that crossed the Red Sea

Pthom
11-15-2007, 03:20 AM
An eel that crossed the Red Sea
Stopped at Jiddah to have him some tea.

Kerr
11-15-2007, 06:24 AM
An eel that crossed the Red Sea
Stopped at Jiddah to have him some tea.
And while he was there

Nymtoc
11-15-2007, 07:21 AM
An eel that crossed the Red Sea
Stopped at Jiddah to have him some tea.
And while he was there
He ate an éclair

Kerr
11-15-2007, 08:13 AM
An eel that crossed the Red Sea
Stopped at Jiddah to have him some tea.
And while he was there
He ate an eclair
Then zapped the maitre d'.

Pthom
11-15-2007, 11:24 AM
Kerr, when you finish a limerick, you're to provide the first line of a new one. :)

oneblindmouse
11-15-2007, 11:31 AM
A newbie who'd just joined the forum

oneblindmouse
11-15-2007, 11:37 AM
A newbie who'd just joined the forum
Requested a slice of the quorum

Nymtoc
11-15-2007, 12:39 PM
A newbie who'd just joined the forum
Requested a slice of the quorum
The monitor said

Pthom
11-15-2007, 01:02 PM
A newbie who'd just joined the forum
Requested a slice of the quorum
The monitor said
With a pain in his head,

rosebud1981
11-15-2007, 05:14 PM
A newbie who'd just joined the forum
Requested a slice of the quorum
The monitor said
With a pain in his head
Please show a bit of decorum.

"That's it. That's enough!" said the teacher

dobiwon
11-15-2007, 05:36 PM
"That's it. That's enough!" said the teacher
To the student who taunted the creature

Woof
11-15-2007, 06:55 PM
"That's it. That's enough!" said the teacher
To the student who taunted the creature
"You're here to learn

Serena Casey
11-15-2007, 06:58 PM
"That's it. That's enough!" said the teacher
To the student who taunted the creature
"You're here to learn
But I can discern

dobiwon
11-15-2007, 09:44 PM
That's it. That's enough!" said the teacher
To the student who taunted the creature
"You're here to learn
But I can discern
Mocking from those in the bleacher.


A man who itched with psoriasis

oneblindmouse
11-15-2007, 09:49 PM
A man who itched with psoriasis
But lucky to not need dialysis

dobiwon
11-15-2007, 10:16 PM
A man who itched with psoriasis
But lucky to not need dialysis
Put cream on his rash

oneblindmouse
11-15-2007, 10:31 PM
A man who itched with psoriasis
But lucky to not need dialysis
Put cream on his rash
With a splat and a splash

oneblindmouse
11-15-2007, 10:33 PM
A man who itched with psoriasis
But lucky to not need dialysis^
Put cream on his rash
With a splat and a splash

Woof
11-15-2007, 11:19 PM
A man who itched with psoriasis
But lucky to not need dialysis^
Put cream on his rash
With a splat and a splash
Which caused total paralysis.


A woman who flirted with danger

Nymtoc
11-15-2007, 11:38 PM
A woman who flirted with danger
Once chatted online with a stranger

Woof
11-15-2007, 11:46 PM
A woman who flirted with danger
Once chatted online with a stranger
She took off her blouse

Nymtoc
11-15-2007, 11:50 PM
A woman who flirted with danger
Once chatted online with a stranger
She took off her blouse
Unaware that the louse

Woof
11-15-2007, 11:59 PM
A woman who flirted with danger
Once chatted online with a stranger
She took off her blouse
Unaware that the louse
Was a secret Texas ranger.


A dog who barked up the wrong tree

Pthom
11-16-2007, 12:01 AM
A woman who flirted with danger
Once chatted online with a stranger
She took off her blouse
Unaware that the louse
Was an internet photo exchanger

When a man took his shirt to the cleaners

oops. Woof is just too darned fast

A dog who barked up the wrong tree
Had to use the insanity plea

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 12:19 AM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
Had to use the insanity plea
"I hear voices," he said

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 12:20 AM
A man who barked up the wrong tree
Had to use the insanity plea
But he put up a fight

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 12:21 AM
Ok, you beat me to it!

Woof
11-16-2007, 12:21 AM
A dog who barked up the wrong tree
Had to use the insanity plea
"I hear voices," he said
"Of people in my head

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 12:25 AM
Ok, you beat me to it!
They're quite clear in my head

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 12:30 AM
(So many fine poets writing at the same time!)

A dog who barked up the wrong tree
Had to use the insanity plea
"I hear voices," he said
"They're quite clear in my head,
and they say two plus two equals three."

:crazy:

On a sub-freezing day in July

Woof
11-16-2007, 12:34 AM
On a sub-freezing day in July
The thermometer told a great lie

rosebud1981
11-16-2007, 04:45 AM
On a sub-freezing day in July
The thermometer told a great lie
So John wore pink shorts

Kerr
11-16-2007, 04:56 AM
(Sorry about that.)

On a sub-freezing day in July
The thermometer told a great lie
So John wore pink shorts
Like the king of all dorks

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 05:09 AM
On a sub-freezing day in July
The thermometer told a great lie
So John wore pink shorts
Like the king of all dorks
And suspenders with his plaid tie.


The dorkiest dork of them all

Kerr
11-16-2007, 05:46 AM
The dorkiest dork of them all
Said, "I'm shaky but I won't fall!"

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 05:48 AM
The dorkiest dork of them all
Said, "I'm shaky but I won't fall!"
I might start to tip

Kerr
11-16-2007, 06:06 AM
The dorkiest dork of them all
Said, "I'm shaky but I wont fall!"
I might start to tip
But I'm not ill-equiped

Serena Casey
11-16-2007, 06:18 AM
The dorkiest dork of them all
Said, "I'm shaky but I wont fall!"
I might start to tip
But I'm not ill-equiped
I'll get there if I have to crawl!

A whiskered old gent with a cane

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 07:17 AM
A whiskered old gent with a cane
Liked to tap-dance his way through the rain

Kerr
11-16-2007, 07:47 AM
A whiskered old gent with a cane
Liked to tap-dance his way through the rain
Tippy-tap tippy-tap

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 09:22 AM
A whiskered old gent with a cane
Liked to tap-dance his way through the rain
Tippy-tap tippy-tap
Went the chipper old chap

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 11:12 AM
A whiskered old gent with a cane
Liked to tap-dance his way through the rain
Tippy-tap tippy-tap
Went the chipper old chap
As he tap-danced his way down the lane

A sleepy young woman in France

eodmatt
11-16-2007, 11:40 AM
A sleepy young woman in France
Played a Gypsy violin at a dance

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 11:47 AM
A sleepy young woman in France
Played a gypsy violin at a dance
The faster she played

Pthom
11-16-2007, 12:17 PM
A sleepy young woman in France
Played a gypsy violin at a dance
The faster she played
The more her skirts frayed

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 02:02 PM
A sleepy young woman in France
Played a gypsy violin at a dance
The faster she played
The more her skirts frayed
As she sank in her self-induced trance

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 02:03 PM
New limerick:

A fearsome old bear in a storm

eodmatt
11-16-2007, 02:41 PM
Whose name unfortunately was "Norm"

Word Weaver
11-16-2007, 02:56 PM
A fearsome old bear in a storm
Whose name unfortunately was "Norm"
Burst into a pub

eodmatt
11-16-2007, 02:58 PM
A fearsome old bear in a storm
Whose name unfortunately was "Norm"
Burst into a pub
Wielding a club

spanner3
11-16-2007, 04:16 PM
A fearsome old bear in a storm
Whose name unfortunately was "Norm"
Burst into a pub
Wielding a club


But chose to get pissed until morn.

Maggie

spanner3
11-16-2007, 04:20 PM
In an effort to draw back the blinds

Maggie

Woof
11-16-2007, 06:00 PM
In an effort to draw back the blinds
And reveal herself to filthy minds

eodmatt
11-16-2007, 06:09 PM
In an effort to draw back the blinds
And reveal herself to filthy minds
She leaned on the sill

rosebud1981
11-16-2007, 07:31 PM
In an effort to draw back the blinds
And reveal herself to filthy minds
She leaned on the sill
While wearing nil

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 07:55 PM
In an effort to draw back the blinds
And reveal herself to filthy minds
She leaned on the sill
While wearing nil
And started her bumps and grinds.


He drank till he started to hurl

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 09:24 PM
He drank till he started to hurl
Then into a ball he did curl

Woof
11-16-2007, 09:43 PM
He drank till he started to hurl
Then into a ball he did curl
He rolled on the floor

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 09:45 PM
He drank till he started to hurl
Then into a ball he did curl
He rolled on the floor
And rolled straight out the door

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 09:52 PM
He drank till he started to hurl
Then into a ball he did curl
He rolled on the floor
And rolled straight out the door
As his clothing began to unfurl.


A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick

(I'll start this one off, but then I'm staying away :) )

Woof
11-16-2007, 09:55 PM
He drank till he started to hurl
Then into a ball he did curl
He rolled on the floor
And rolled straight out the door
Into the calves of a shapely girl


A girl who lost her virginity

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 09:59 PM
A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick
Went everywhere weilding a stick

Serena Casey
11-16-2007, 10:03 PM
A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick
Went everywhere weilding a stick
His anger ablaze,

Woof
11-16-2007, 10:03 PM
A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick
Went everywhere wielding a stick
A poked a young guy

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 10:16 PM
A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick
Went everywhere wielding a stick
A poked a young guy
And put out his eye
__________________

Woof
11-16-2007, 10:19 PM
A cross-eyed young fellow named Nick
Went everywhere wielding a stick
And poked a young guy
And put out his eye
Then painfully skewered his dick.


There once was a man with a hump

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 10:22 PM
(lol about the last one!!!)

There once was a man with a hump
Who went to the park for a dump

Woof
11-16-2007, 10:23 PM
There once was a man with a hump
Who went to the park for a dump
The cops caught his act

oneblindmouse
11-16-2007, 10:27 PM
There once was a man with a hump
Who went to the park for a dump
The cops caught his act
And that is a fact

Woof
11-16-2007, 10:31 PM
There once was a man with a hump
Who went to the park for a dump
The cops caught his act
And that is a fact
And so is his unwashed rump.


A cat who had only eight lives

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 10:34 PM
A cat who had only eight lives
Lost his seventh life looting bee hives

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 10:37 PM
A cat who had only eight lives
Lost his seventh life looting bee hives
His sixth to a dog

Nymtoc
11-16-2007, 11:28 PM
A cat who had only eight lives
Lost his seventh life looting bee hives
His sixth to a dog
And his fifth to a frog

dobiwon
11-16-2007, 11:34 PM
A cat who had only eight lives
Lost his seventh life looting bee hives
His sixth to a dog
And his fifth to a frog
And the rest to a kook armed with knives.


A wiley old gent with a mustache

Pthom
11-17-2007, 01:00 AM
Adjusting for meter

A wiley old gent with a 'stache
Thought he'd get him a gal with some cash

dobiwon
11-17-2007, 01:03 AM
A wiley old gent with a 'stache
Thought he'd get him a gal with some cash
But she worked at night

oneblindmouse
11-17-2007, 04:15 AM
A wiley old gent with a 'stache
Thought he'd get him a gal with some cash
But she worked at night
And looked a real fright

Woof
11-17-2007, 04:24 AM
A wiley old gent with a 'stache
Thought he'd get him a gal with some cash
But she worked at night
And looked a real fright
And had an unusual rash.


A wicked old witch on her broom

dobiwon
11-17-2007, 04:25 AM
A wiley old gent with a 'stache
Thought he'd get him a gal with some cash
But she worked at night
And looked a real fright
And then he developed a rash.


A girl had a cat named Louise

Woof
11-17-2007, 04:26 AM
Whoa! In synch or what?

Woof
11-17-2007, 04:28 AM
A girl had a cat named Louise
Who climbed up evergreen trees

dobiwon
11-17-2007, 04:35 AM
OJK, a two-fer

A wicked old witch on her broom
Desired a knight for a groom


and


A girl had a cat named Louise
Who climbed up evergreen trees
She had a litter

Pthom
11-17-2007, 04:35 AM
Again, adjusting for meter
A girl had a cat named Louise
Who always climbed evergreen trees
She got stuck on a branch


ETA: oh no. A glitch in posting causes yet another delay. How about a threefer?

Woof
11-17-2007, 04:50 AM
A girl had a cat named Louise
Who always climbed evergreen trees
She got stuck on a branch
Up a tree on a ranch

Pthom
11-17-2007, 05:10 AM
A wicked old witch on her broom
Desired a knight for a groom
but the wizard said no

and

A girl had a cat named Louise
Who climbed up evergreen trees
She had a litter
And hired a sitter

and

A girl had a cat named Louise
Who always climbed evergreen trees
She got stuck on a branch
Up a tree on a ranch
Where in winter a branch cat could freeze. :D

Nymtoc
11-17-2007, 05:25 AM
(I may be crashing a three-fer here, but I'll try this anyway)

A wicked old witch on her broom
Desired a knight for a groom
but the wizard said no
You're too ugly, you crow

Pthom
11-17-2007, 05:37 AM
I just realized I finished my own limerick. Oh, the woe. My apologies.

but now we're back to just two, eh?

A wicked old witch on her broom
Desired a knight for a groom
but the wizard said no
You're too ugly, you crow

and

A girl had a cat named Louise
Who climbed up evergreen trees
She had a litter
And hired a sitter

Woof
11-17-2007, 05:41 AM
(what the heck)


A girl had a cat named Louise
Who climbed up evergreen trees
She had a litter
And hired a sitter
With a dreadful bad case of fleas

A wicked old witch on her broom
Desired a knight for a groom
but the wizard said no
You're too ugly, you crow
You would frighten the dead in a tomb.

Woof
11-17-2007, 05:43 AM
(forgot! New line!)


A vulture without any beak

Pthom
11-17-2007, 05:46 AM
A vulture without any beak
Found that when he ate soup, he would leak.

Woof
11-17-2007, 05:55 AM
A vulture without any beak
Found that when he ate soup, he would leak.
His prey would just laugh

Nymtoc
11-17-2007, 06:20 AM
A vulture without any beak
Found that when he ate soup, he would leak.
His prey would just laugh
Taking Vult's photograph

Kerr
11-17-2007, 10:06 AM
A vulture without any beak
Found that when he ate soup, he would leak.
His prey would just laugh
Taking Vult's photograph
"Die ate when you do dat!" he'd peep.

Kerr
11-17-2007, 10:08 AM
Oop! Did it again.


The man from Lamancha was quick

Pthom
11-17-2007, 10:36 AM
The man from Lamancha was quick
So when his poor sidekick got sick

Nymtoc
11-17-2007, 11:57 AM
The man from Lamancha was quick
So when his poor sidekick got sick
He rode off alone

oneblindmouse
11-17-2007, 01:55 PM
The man from Lamancha was quick
So when his poor sidekick got sick
He rode off alone
A sack of old bones

Woof
11-17-2007, 05:35 PM
The man from Lamancha was quick
So when his poor sidekick got sick
He rode off alone
A sack of old bones
Looking for a windmill to kick.


While Shakespeare was writing a play

Nymtoc
11-17-2007, 07:30 PM
While Shakespeare was writing a play
Anne Hathaway walked in to say

Verballady
11-17-2007, 07:49 PM
While Shakespeare was writing a play
Anne Hathaway walked in to say
"I want that part"

oneblindmouse
11-17-2007, 09:46 PM
While Shakespeare was writing a play
Anne Hathaway walked in to say
"I want that part"
"Aw, Annie, don't start!"

Nymtoc
11-17-2007, 10:28 PM
While Shakespeare was writing a play
Anne Hathaway walked in to say
"I want that part"
"Aw, Annie, don't start!"
But he let her play Lear anyway.

:D

There once was a chimp who went crazy

oneblindmouse
11-17-2007, 10:31 PM
There once was a chimp who went crazy
And went willfully woefully lazy

Verballady
11-18-2007, 12:13 AM
There once was a chimp who went crazy
And went willfully woefully lazy
But to his demise

Joycecwilliams
11-18-2007, 04:30 AM
There once was a chimp who went crazy
And went willfully woefully lazy
But to his demise
He was covered with flies.

rosebud1981
11-18-2007, 04:52 PM
There once was a chimp who went crazy
And went willfully woefully lazy
But to his demise
He was covered with flies
And now he's pushing up daisies.

There was an old man from Tibet

Nymtoc
11-18-2007, 06:19 PM
There was an old man from Tibet
Who had a remarkable pet

Serena Casey
11-18-2007, 07:30 PM
There was an old man from Tibet
Who had a remarkable pet
It danced and it sang

oneblindmouse
11-18-2007, 11:22 PM
There was an old man from Tibet
Who had a remarkable pet
It danced and it sang
In the wilds of U-Tsäng

onestepp
11-18-2007, 11:47 PM
There was an old man from Tibet
Who had a remarkable pet
It danced and it sang
In the wilds of U-Tsang
Darting the posion frogs' ribbet

Nymtoc
11-18-2007, 11:56 PM
Onestepp, when you complete a limerick you're supposed to provide the first line of the next one. :D

Woof
11-19-2007, 06:36 PM
Well, in the absence of onestepp's twostepp...


There once was a poster who dozed

talkwrite
11-19-2007, 07:23 PM
There once was a poster who dozed
At a loss, his computer just froze

Serena Casey
11-19-2007, 08:02 PM
There once was a poster who dozed
At a loss, his computer just froze
His writerly friends

oneblindmouse
11-19-2007, 08:27 PM
There once was a poster who dozed
At a loss, his computer just froze
His writerly friends
Could not make amends

rosebud1981
11-19-2007, 09:15 PM
There once was a poster who dozed
At a loss, his computer just froze
His writerly friends
Could not make amends
For the pitiful lack of good prose

There once was a man who dreamed

talkwrite
11-19-2007, 10:41 PM
There once was a man who dreamed
of lands and seas once pristine

onestepp
11-19-2007, 11:15 PM
There was a man who dreamed
of lands and seas once pristine
Now they've lost their sheen

Woof
11-19-2007, 11:28 PM
There was a man who dreamed
of lands and seas once pristine
Now they've lost their sheen
And they're no longer clean

Pthom
11-20-2007, 12:38 AM
There was a man who dreamed
of lands and seas once pristine
Now they've lost their sheen
And they're no longer clean
As they once, in his dream, surely seemed.

To call someone 'fat' isn't nice

Nymtoc
11-20-2007, 12:58 AM
To call someone 'fat' isn't nice.
Saying 'big-boned' remains sound advice

Woof
11-20-2007, 07:32 AM
To call someone 'fat' isn't nice.
Saying 'big-boned' remains sound advice
And never say 'oink'

Verballady
11-20-2007, 07:52 AM
To call someone 'fat' isn't nice.
Saying 'big-boned' remains sound advice
And never say 'oink'
In fear of a boink

Nymtoc
11-20-2007, 08:16 AM
To call someone 'fat' isn't nice.
Saying 'big-boned' remains sound advice
And never say 'oink'
In fear of a boink
"Hey, you're looking great!" will suffice.

:cool:

A girl known as poor Cinderella

Wraith
11-20-2007, 03:16 PM
A girl known as poor Cinderella
Once ate way too much mozzarella

oneblindmouse
11-20-2007, 03:22 PM
A girl known as poor Cinderella
once ate way too much mozzarella
She got sick as a cat

rosebud1981
11-20-2007, 05:40 PM
A girl known as poor Cinderella
once ate way too much mozzarella
She got sick as a cat
And said "Drat, Drat, Drat!"

Cath
11-20-2007, 05:43 PM
A girl known as poor Cinderella
once ate way too much mozzarella
She got sick as a cat
And said "Drat, Drat, Drat!
That really ain't fun, I can tell ya!"


One wet winter's day in the Midwest

dobiwon
11-20-2007, 05:50 PM
One wet winter's day in the Midwest
Some people begin to get depressed

Wraith
11-20-2007, 06:14 PM
One wet winter's day in the Midwest
Some people begin to get depressed
But Santa drops by

dobiwon
11-20-2007, 06:44 PM
One wet winter's day in the Midwest
Some people begin to get depressed
But Santa drops by
(he's such a great guy!)

Woof
11-20-2007, 06:52 PM
One wet winter's day in the Midwest
Some people begin to get depressed
But Santa drops by
(what a great guy!)
Dumps the gifts and steals a turkey breast!


There was a turkey who sought revenge

dobiwon
11-20-2007, 07:32 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge

Woof
11-20-2007, 08:42 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge
He lifted a cleaver

Kerr
11-20-2007, 09:49 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge
He lifted a cleaver
Lopped the tail off the beaver

Wraith
11-20-2007, 09:57 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge
He lifted a cleaver
Lopped the tail off the beaver
Who gave out a horrible stench.

A moth that was terribly bored

dobiwon
11-20-2007, 10:00 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge
He lifted a cleaver
Lopped the tail off the beaver
And buried it under Stonehenge.


A practicioner of the black arts

Woof
11-20-2007, 10:03 PM
There was a turkey who sought revenge
For a fowl-deed he wished to avenge
He lifted a cleaver
Lopped the tail off the beaver
And fled the coop to distant Stonehenge.



The thing about stuffing a bird

dobiwon
11-20-2007, 10:15 PM
(Woof, I'll continue yours if you continue mine :) )

The thing about stuffing a bird
With martinis, shaken not stirred

Nymtoc
11-20-2007, 11:13 PM
The thing about stuffing a bird
With martinis, shaken not stirred
Is that people will think

oneblindmouse
11-20-2007, 11:26 PM
The thing about stuffing a bird
With martinis, shaken not stirred
Is that people will think
You've had too much to drink

Wraith
11-20-2007, 11:34 PM
The thing about stuffing a bird
With martinis, shaken not stirred
Is that people will think
You've had too much to drink
And that you are an alcohol nerd.

The squirrel once said to the rat,

oneblindmouse
11-20-2007, 11:43 PM
"Oh, blimey! That's really some hat!"

Woof
11-20-2007, 11:51 PM
The squirrel once said to the rat,
"Oh, blimey! That's really some hat!"
It goes with your ears

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 12:04 AM
The squirrel once said to the rat,
"Oh, blimey! That's really some hat!"
It goes with your ears
And quiets your fears

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 12:09 AM
The squirrel once said to the rat
"Oh Blimey, that's really some hat!"
It goes with your ears
And matches your tears

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 12:10 AM
Okm dobiwon the Limerick king, you beat me!

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 12:23 AM
OBM, your's is pretty good though, so...

The squirrel once said to the rat
"Oh Blimey, that's really some hat!"
It goes with your ears
And matches your tears
It's wet and it falls with a splat.


When two people make the same rhyme

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 02:39 AM
When two people make the same rhyme
Some people may think it a crime

Nymtoc
11-21-2007, 03:23 AM
When two people make the same rhyme
Some people may think it a crime
Well, it is. Go to jail!

Serena Casey
11-21-2007, 03:48 AM
When two people make the same rhyme
Some people may think it a crime
Well, it is. Go to jail!
There will be no bail

Pthom
11-21-2007, 03:59 AM
When two people make the same rhyme
Some people may think it a crime
Well, it is. Go to jail!
There will be no bail
So write prose while you still have the time!

When plotting a tale of woe

Nymtoc
11-21-2007, 04:10 AM
When plotting a tale of woe
A good writer feels each cruel blow

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 01:01 PM
When plotting a tale of woe
A good writer feels each cruel blow
Yet nevertheless

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 05:22 PM
When plotting a tale of woe
A good writer feels each cruel blow
Yet nevertheless
Don't acquiesce

Wraith
11-21-2007, 05:46 PM
When plotting a tale of woe
A good writer feels each cruel blow
Yet nevertheless
Don't acquiesce
In ending it all with "heigh-ho".

Books are the most evil things

Woof
11-21-2007, 05:55 PM
Books are the most evil things
What? Even The Lord Of The Rings?

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 05:58 PM
Duh! beaten by Woof again!
Books are the most evil things
Whether read by peasants or kings

So,
Books are the most evil things
What? Even The Lord Of The Rings?
Especially that book

Woof
11-21-2007, 06:04 PM
No problemo!

Books are the most evil things
Whether read by peasants or kings
They twist your thoughts


Books are the most evil things
What? Even The Lord Of The Rings?
Especially that book
About Captain Hook

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 06:12 PM
Books are the most evil things
Whether read by peasants or kings
They twist your thoughts
With crosses and noughts


Books are the most evil things
What? Even The Lord Of The Rings?
Especially that book
About Captain Hook
Who into a croc himself flings.

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 06:14 PM
OK, I'll continue

Books are the most evil things
Whether read by peasants or kings
They twist your thoughts
And corrupt your oughts


Books are the most evil things
What? Even The Lord Of The Rings?
Especially that book
About Captain Hook
Where they fly without using wings.

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 06:16 PM
Late again--damn you my arthritic fingers!

Books are the most evil things
Whether read by peasants or kings
They twist your thoughts
With crosses and noughts
And mess up your very heart strings.

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 06:18 PM
(Oops, forgot to start a new one.)

Wearing clothes is just such a bother

Woof
11-21-2007, 06:36 PM
Wearing clothes is just such a bother
I'll go naked like my father

Nymtoc
11-21-2007, 06:43 PM
Wearing clothes is just such a bother
I'll go naked like my father
And if folks complain

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 06:48 PM
Wearing clothes is just such a bother
I'll go naked like my father
And if folks complain
I'll simply explain

Wraith
11-21-2007, 06:49 PM
Wearing clothes is just such a bother
I'll go naked like my father
And if folks complain
I will not refrain

ETA: Dammit, dobi beat me to it. Ok then,

Wearing clothes is just such a bother
I'll go naked like my father
And if folks complain
I'll simply explain
That I'm spiffy and cool like no other.

Wraith
11-21-2007, 06:53 PM
In a land that's all upside-down

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 06:57 PM
In a land that's all upside-down
Where brown is green and green is brown

Wraith
11-21-2007, 07:06 PM
In a land that's all upside-down
Where brown is green and green is brown
Confusion is great

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 07:13 PM
In a land that's all upside-down
Where brown is green and green is brown
Confusion is great
Where crooked is straight

Woof
11-21-2007, 08:09 PM
In a land that's all upside-down
Where brown is green and green is brown
Confusion is great
Where crooked is straight
And the president is a clown.


A camel without any humps

Wraith
11-21-2007, 08:16 PM
A camel without any humps
Thought he could learn how to dance

Woof
11-21-2007, 08:33 PM
"dance" rhymes with "humps" ? hmm... it's a stretch...

A camel without any humps
Thought he could learn how to dance
He waltzed on the sand

talkwrite
11-21-2007, 08:51 PM
[quote=Woof;1828693]"dance" rhymes with "humps" ? hmm... it's a stretch...

A camel without any humps
Thought he could learn how to dance
He waltzed on the sand
Like this verse he was panned
And swept off to sea in 3 clumps


A turkey awoke in a freezer

Woof
11-21-2007, 08:57 PM
A turkey awoke in a freezer
Right next to a grizzled old geezer

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 09:09 PM
A turkey awoke in a freezer
Right next to a grizzled old geezer
So great was his shock
__________________

talkwrite
11-21-2007, 09:20 PM
A turkey awoke in a freezer
Right next to a grizzled old geezer
So great was his shock
Melting the soup stock

Wraith
11-21-2007, 09:26 PM
"dance" rhymes with "humps" ? hmm... it's a stretch...
Hmm...British accent? Imaginary accent? Something's gotta work. :scared: Sorry!

A turkey awoke in a freezer
Right next to a grizzled old geezer
So great was his shock
Melting the soup stock
That he instantly turned into a wheezer.

Beware of the pigs that can fly

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 09:31 PM
Beware of the pigs that can fly
as they swoop about in the sky

dobiwon
11-21-2007, 11:14 PM
Beware of the pigs that can fly
as they swoop about in the sky
Pig poop can stain ya'

oneblindmouse
11-21-2007, 11:35 PM
Beware of the pigs that can fly
as they swoop about in the sky
Pig poop can stain ya'
And dead pigs can brain ya'