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Meaney
09-04-2007, 07:05 AM
She looked in the mirror and cried,
"That bastard! How could he have lied?!"
With spite in her plans

Katol
09-04-2007, 10:24 AM
She looked in the mirror and cried,
"That bastard! How could he have lied?!"
With spite in her plans
A gun in her hands

akiwiguy
09-04-2007, 11:19 AM
She looked in the mirror and cried,
"That bastard! How could he have lied?!"
With spite in her plans
A gun in her hands
Her sweet revenge will not be denied.


I went to the doctor with gout

Katol
09-05-2007, 06:59 PM
I went to the doctor with gout
And asked him "what's this all about?"

Solatium
09-05-2007, 10:40 PM
I went to the doctor with gout
And asked him "what's this all about?"
"You've joints full of acid

MidnightMuse
09-05-2007, 10:46 PM
I went to the doctor with gout
And asked him "what's this all about?"
"You've joints full of acid
And your breath's truly rancid."

gp101
09-08-2007, 03:15 PM
I went to the doctor with gout
And asked him "what's this all about?"
"You've joints full of acid
And your breath's truly rancid."
Now pay me and get out!



So I was staring at Uranus

Meaney
09-13-2007, 03:22 PM
So I was staring at Uranus
Thinking of someone famous

PattiTheWicked
09-13-2007, 03:28 PM
So I was staring at Uranus
Thinking of someone famous
A pair of twin moons

Unique
09-13-2007, 03:58 PM
So I was staring at Uranus
Thinking of someone famous
A pair of twin moons
like soft macaroons

Meaney
09-13-2007, 05:42 PM
So I was staring at Uranus
Thinking of someone famous
A pair of moons
like macaroons
and me an ignoramus.

(Excuse my taking licence to adjust the meter.)


The Tweedles named Dee and named Dum

PattiTheWicked
09-13-2007, 07:02 PM
The Tweedles named Dee and named Dum
went out for a plate of Dim Sum

MidnightMuse
09-13-2007, 07:18 PM
The Tweedles named Dee and named Dum
went out for a plate of Dim Sum
"No MSG" was the plea.

totidem_verbis
09-13-2007, 07:33 PM
The Tweedles named Dee and named Dum
went out for a plate of Dim Sum
"No MSG" was the plea.
They served us green tea.

Unique
09-14-2007, 01:23 AM
The Tweedles named Dee and named Dum
went out for a plate of Dim Sum
"No MSG" was the plea.
They served us green tea
and swapped us sugar for gum.

When old Milly took off on the lam

akiwiguy
09-14-2007, 02:09 AM
When old Milly took off on the lam
Her husband did not give a damn

Pthom
09-14-2007, 06:51 AM
When old Milly took off on the lam
Her husband did not give a damn
But their dachshund sure did

Meaney
09-14-2007, 01:58 PM
When old Milly took off on the lam
Her husband did not give a damn
But their dachshund sure did
and the pet giant squid

Solatium
09-14-2007, 05:54 PM
When old Milly took off on the lam
Her husband did not give a damn
But their dachshund sure did
and the pet giant squid
And the beast she was riding, the -- lamb.

(That hurt me more than it hurt you.)

I wish I'd get over this cold

Haggis
09-14-2007, 06:09 PM
I wish I'd get over this cold
And I'm sneezing because of the mold

Unique
09-15-2007, 03:57 PM
I wish I'd get over this cold
And I'm sneezing because of the mold
The boogers are flying

Katol
09-18-2007, 12:38 AM
I wish I'd get over this cold
And I'm sneezing because of the mold
The boogers are flying
Think maybe I'm dying

Angie
09-18-2007, 12:43 AM
I wish I'd get over this cold
And I'm sneezing because of the mold
The boogers are flying
Think maybe I'm dying
I'm a terrible sight to behold.

My poor empty stomach is rumbling

Katol
09-18-2007, 12:47 AM
My poor empty stomach is rumbling
"Think of your diet" I'm mumbling

MidnightMuse
09-18-2007, 01:12 AM
My poor empty stomach is rumbling
"Think of your diet" I'm mumbling.
Now the Yak ate my pie,

Angie
09-18-2007, 01:15 AM
My poor empty stomach is rumbling
"Think of your diet" I'm mumbling.
Now the Yak ate my pie,
I'll need a good alibi

Solatium
09-26-2007, 09:58 AM
My poor empty stomach is rumbling
"Think of your diet" I'm mumbling.
Now the Yak ate my pie,
I'll need a good alibi --
My world, flesh, and devil are crumbling.

Three things that resemble a key:

akiwiguy
09-26-2007, 01:02 PM
Three things that resemble a key:
One small object to set you free

gp101
10-07-2007, 01:14 AM
Three things that resemble a key:
One small object to set you free
The second is lewd,

Voyager
10-07-2007, 01:39 AM
:ROFL: You limmerick writers are such upstarts with all your militant rhyming

Unique
10-07-2007, 03:46 AM
Three things that resemble a key:
One small object to set you free
The second is lewd,
The first has been blued (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluing_%28steel%29)

Pthom
10-07-2007, 04:14 AM
Three things that resemble a key:
One small object to set you free
The second is lewd,
The first has been blued
And this rhyme makes no sense, don'tcha see?

The kitchen appliances store

Angie
10-07-2007, 04:17 AM
The kitchen appliances store
Really makes my pocketbook sore

Meaney
10-10-2007, 05:14 PM
The kitchen appliances store
rally makes my pocketbook sore.
The lady insists

Unique
10-10-2007, 05:47 PM
The kitchen appliances store
really makes my pocketbook sore.
The lady insists
that veggies need mist

Pthom
10-11-2007, 01:02 AM
The kitchen appliances store
really makes my pocketbook sore.
The lady insists
that veggies need mist
But that's not what I came in here for.

A grater I needed, you see

Meaney
10-17-2007, 09:48 AM
A grater I needed, you see
not this fandangled monstrosity

John Paton
10-17-2007, 12:48 PM
A grater I needed, you see
not this fandangled monstrosity
if you have one in blue

Pthom
10-18-2007, 10:48 PM
Welcome Limerick lovers, to the Writing Exercises, Prompts and Games forum. I always thought this thread should have been here long ago and today, I had opportunity to suggest its transfer. And wonder of wonders, now here we are. Nothing has changed, other than location. Enjoy, my friends!


And now on with completing the limerick

A grater I needed, you see
not this fandangled monstrosity
if you have one in blue
with a knuckle protector (ooh!)

Nymtoc
10-19-2007, 04:54 AM
A grater I needed, you see
not this fandangled monstrosity
if you have one in blue
with a knuckle protector (ooh!)
I'll take it. Stop gawking at me!

My goat has a horrible habit

Meaney
10-19-2007, 05:41 AM
My goat has a horrible habit:
he tries to make love to the rabbit.

onestepp
10-19-2007, 08:26 AM
He ran after a baseball
and scaled a huge wall

rosebud1981
10-19-2007, 02:43 PM
My goat has a horrible habit
He tries to make love to the rabbit
He gets down on his knees

John Paton
10-19-2007, 03:30 PM
My goat has a horrible habit
He tries to make love to the rabbit
He gets down on his knees
Hanging all out in the breeze

dobiwon
10-19-2007, 10:35 PM
My goat has a horrible habit
He tries to make love to the rabbit
He gets down on his knees
Hanging all out in the breeze
And waits for the rabbit to grab it.


You have this annoying compulsion

Sunkissed27f
10-19-2007, 10:46 PM
You have this annoying compulsion,
That is quite the utter repulsion


ETA: I stink at these. Thought I would try.

PattiTheWicked
10-19-2007, 11:27 PM
You have this annoying compulsion,
That is quite the utter repulsion
It just makes me gag

Nymtoc
10-19-2007, 11:33 PM
You have this annoying compulsion,
That is quite the utter repulsion
It just makes me gag
When you pull out a rag

rosebud1981
10-19-2007, 11:43 PM
You have this annoying compulsion,
That is quite the utter repulsion
It just makes me gag
When you pull out a rag
And cover your body in lotion.

The vampire had a terrible toothache,

dobiwon
10-20-2007, 12:35 AM
The vampire had a terrible toothache
He cured with frothy vermouth shake

John Paton
10-20-2007, 09:55 AM
The vampire had a terrible toothache
He cured with frothy vermouth shake
he then whipped out his fangs

joetrain
10-20-2007, 10:06 AM
The vampire had a terrible toothache
He cured with frothy vermouth shake
he then whipped out his fangs
and combed back his bangs

Woof
10-21-2007, 05:44 PM
The vampire had a terrible toothache
He cured with frothy vermouth shake
he then whipped out his fangs
and combed back his bangs
And devoured a blood-red steak.

Nymtoc
10-22-2007, 12:24 AM
There was an old rascal called Willie

rosebud1981
10-22-2007, 05:32 PM
There was an old rascal called Willie
Who thought his trousers looked silly

Meaney
10-22-2007, 07:01 PM
There was an old rascal called Willie
Who thought his old trousers looked silly
The legs were too long

Woof
10-22-2007, 09:39 PM
There was an old rascal called Willie
Who thought his old trousers looked silly
The legs were too long
And the zipper was wrong

Nymtoc
10-23-2007, 01:40 AM
There was an old rascal called Willie
Who thought his old trousers looked silly
The legs were too long
And the zipper was wrong,
So he took them off. Now Willie's chilly.

:hat:


A cowpoke from Texas went riding

Meaney
10-23-2007, 02:49 PM
A cowpoke from Texas went riding
And found local folk were in hiding

Unique
10-23-2007, 03:31 PM
A cowpoke from Texas went riding
And found local folk were in hiding
They moved the best thread
I thought it was dead
And so I'm pissed off and I'm chiding!!


GD, move it back so I said

Woof
10-23-2007, 04:42 PM
There once was a man from Algiers
Who had hairy and floppy ears

rosebud1981
10-23-2007, 08:24 PM
There once was a man from Algiers
Who had hairy and floppy ears
He thought he was a donkey
His friends thought him funky

dobiwon
10-23-2007, 11:43 PM
There once was a man from Algiers
Who had hairy and floppy ears
He thought he was a donkey
His friends thought him funky
When he trimmed them with his pinking shears.



Suspenders, not belts, were for him

Woof
10-23-2007, 11:44 PM
There once was a man from Algiers
Who had hairy and floppy ears
He thought he was a donkey
His friends thought him funky
And his braying near brought them to tears.

Nymtoc
10-24-2007, 12:42 AM
Suspenders, not belts, were for him
Because his rear end was so slim

:crazy:

Harimum
10-24-2007, 03:30 AM
There was a young man called Enis...

I forget the rest of that one...

sorry I don't think I'm any good at this game but it did remind me of a (childishly) funny limerick I heard once:

There was an old man from Glosham
Who took out his eyeballs to wash 'em
His wife, she said 'Jack!'
'If you don't put 'em back!'
'I'll tread on the buggers and squash 'em!

*snort ahem... sorry, as you were...

*gets coat

Pthom
10-24-2007, 03:43 AM
The idea of this game is to add the next line of the limerick already partially completed by others. If you complete the limerick, you are to begin a new one. The rule always, though, is to add just one line at a time. :)

Nymtoc
10-24-2007, 04:13 AM
This is where we were:

Suspenders, not belts, were for him
Because his rear end was so slim

:D

Pthom
10-24-2007, 04:18 AM
Suspenders, not belts, were for him
Because his rear end was so slim
"It's a trick," he allowed

Harimum
10-24-2007, 04:22 AM
Suspenders, not belts, were for him
Because his rear end was so slim
"It's a trick," he allowed

"I'll gain weight he avowed"
so he cancelled his day at the gym

No... I think I'd better just lurk on this thread! :)

Nymtoc
10-24-2007, 06:47 AM
A stupid young surfer named Ned

:crazy:

rosebud1981
10-24-2007, 02:51 PM
A stupid young surfer named Ned
Swapped his board for a sled

Antony B
10-24-2007, 03:26 PM
A stupid young surfer named Ned
Swapped his board for a sled
When people asked why

Woof
10-24-2007, 03:59 PM
A stupid young surfer named Ned
Swapped his board for a sled
When people asked why
He said it's a high

Nymtoc
10-24-2007, 09:23 PM
A stupid young surfer named Ned
Swapped his board for a sled
When people asked why
He said it's a high.
But the sled sank, and that's why Ned's dead.

:crazy:

There once was a man from Twin Falls

rosebud1981
10-24-2007, 10:35 PM
There once was a man from Twin Falls
Who went to church in his smalls

dobiwon
10-24-2007, 10:50 PM
There once was a man from Twin Falls
Who went to church in his smalls
For us non-British

Woof
10-25-2007, 12:59 AM
There once was a man from Twin Falls
Who went to church in his smalls
For us non-British
"Smalls" may as well be yiddish

Nymtoc
10-25-2007, 06:18 PM
There once was a man from Twin Falls
Who went to church in his smalls
For us non-British
"Smalls" may as well be yiddish
This limerick has no protocols!

:poke:

A shady young lady from Butte

Pthom
10-25-2007, 09:40 PM
A shady young lady from Butte
Spent some time in St. Luke's (http://www.st-lukes.org/) Institute

Pat~
10-25-2007, 10:01 PM
A shady young lady from Butte
Spent some time in St. Luke's (http://www.st-lukes.org/) Institute
She grunted and stretched

Woof
10-26-2007, 03:53 PM
A shady young lady from Butte
Spent some time in St. Luke's Institute
She grunted and stretched
Then bent over and retched

Nymtoc
10-26-2007, 05:21 PM
A shady young lady from Butte
Spent some time in St. Luke's Institute
She grunted and stretched
Then bent over and retched
"That was fun," she said. "My, but I'm cute."

:e2bummed:

There once was a lass from Loch Ness

totidem_verbis
10-26-2007, 05:41 PM
There once was a lass from Loch Ness
who kept spilling out of her dress

talkwrite
10-26-2007, 07:06 PM
There once was a lass from Loch Ness
who kept spilling out of her dress
As her shame she could not repress
She filed suit against Playtex

Pthom
10-26-2007, 11:45 PM
talkwrite, one line at a time, please :)

There once was a lass from Loch Ness
who kept spilling out of her dress
As her shame she could not repress struck for improper meter for this position in a limerick--and that it's extra.
She filed suit against Playtex
Instead bought herself some pink Spandex

Woof
10-26-2007, 11:50 PM
There was a young man from Bombay
Who went to an all-you-can-eat buffet

Pthom
10-26-2007, 11:54 PM
Um, Woof, the way this works is that the last one to finish the limerick in progress begins the next one. So we'll skip around your submittal for now. But keep it in mind for when you are the one to complete a limerick.
:)

talkwrite
10-27-2007, 01:57 AM
Um, Woof, the way this works is that the last one to finish the limerick in progress begins the next one. So we'll skip around your submittal for now. But keep it in mind for when you are the one to complete a limerick.
:)
See you in detention Woof.....

talkwrite
10-27-2007, 01:58 AM
There once was a thread poster named Pthom....

Nymtoc
10-27-2007, 02:28 AM
There once was a thread poster named Pthom
Whose post was a veritable pbomb

:D

c.e.lawson
10-27-2007, 03:40 AM
There once was a lass from Loch Ness
who kept spilling out of her dress
As her shame she could not repress struck for improper meter for this position in a limerick--and that it's extra.
She filed suit against Playtex
Instead bought herself some pink Spandex

Are we still on the Loch Ness lass's chest?

***************

There once was a lass from Loch Ness
who kept spilling out of her dress
She filed suit against Playtex
Instead bought herself some pink Spandex
But Spandex allowed spilled chest to progress


would that work? :Shrug: (I'm new here.)

************

A manly young man who was Scottish (I figured why leave Loch Ness since we were already there)

PattiTheWicked
10-27-2007, 03:44 AM
A manly young man who was Scottish,
he thought a local lass hottish.

Pthom
10-27-2007, 04:17 AM
Are we still on the Loch Ness lass's chest?
...
would that work? :Shrug: (I'm new here.)
c.e.lawson, it works great. And thanks for getting us out of that Loch Ness morass! It was purely awful. Thanks too, to Patti for her addition. Now mine:

A manly young man who was Scottish,
he thought a local lass hottish.
With thyme in her hair

Joycecwilliams
10-27-2007, 04:25 AM
There once was a thread poster named Pthom
Whose post was a veritable pbomb
He wanted success

Nymtoc
10-27-2007, 04:27 AM
There once was a thread poster named Pthom
Whose post was a veritable pbomb
He wanted success
And would take nothing less

;)

Joycecwilliams
10-27-2007, 04:37 AM
There once was a thread poster named Pthom
Whose post was a veritable pbomb
He wanted success
And would take nothing less
So he went home to live with his mom.

Joycecwilliams
10-27-2007, 04:40 AM
Nymtoc was a mysterious man

c.e.lawson
10-27-2007, 04:51 AM
You're welcome, Pthom -- fun thread!

A manly young man who was Scottish,
he thought a local lass hottish.
With thyme in her hair
And legs up to there

(I escaped the 'ottish' quagmire)

Pthom
10-27-2007, 05:03 AM
A manly young man who was Scottish,
he thought a local lass hottish.
With thyme in her hair
And legs up to there
He'd've wed her but dang--she was Swedish!

Nymtoc, a mysterious man (adjusted for meter)
Made porridge without any pan!

Joycecwilliams
10-27-2007, 05:07 AM
Nymtoc, a mysterious man (adjusted for meter)
Made porridge without any pan
He cooked it just right

rosebud1981
10-27-2007, 03:01 PM
Nymtoc, a mysterious man (adjusted for meter)
Made porridge without any pan
He cooked it just right
It was a wonderful sight

Woof
10-27-2007, 04:29 PM
Nymtoc, a mysterious man (adjusted for meter)
Made porridge without any pan
He cooked it just right
It was a wonderful sight
Being thrown in the trash can.

There once was a man with a dog
Whom he wanted to breed with a hog

PattiTheWicked
10-27-2007, 05:48 PM
There once was a man with a dog
Whom he wanted to breed with a hog
The pooch said, "A pig?"

Woof
10-27-2007, 06:04 PM
There once was a man with a dog
Whom he wanted to breed with a hog
The pooch said, "A pig?"
The man said, "You dig?"

Meaney
10-27-2007, 07:14 PM
There once was a man with a dog
Whom he wanted to breed with a hog
The pooch said, "A pig?"
The man said, "You dig?"
And the silly dog slobbered agog.

:snoopy:

A man of proportions outrageous

Nymtoc
10-27-2007, 08:44 PM
A man of proportions outrageous
Claimed that diets were disadvantageous

Joycecwilliams
10-28-2007, 01:06 AM
A man of proportions outrageous
Claimed that diets were disadvantageous
He stepped on a scale

John Paton
10-28-2007, 01:12 AM
A man of proportions outrageous
Claimed that diets were disadvantageous
He stepped on a scale
But it started to fail

PattiTheWicked
10-28-2007, 01:24 AM
A man of proportions outrageous
Claimed that diets were disadvantageous
He stepped on a scale
But it started to fail
Because gravity's often contagious

He then hit the floor with a thud

Joycecwilliams
10-28-2007, 04:00 AM
He then hit the floor with a thud
When he tripped on the shoddy old rug.

Meaney
10-28-2007, 07:10 AM
He then hit the floor with a thud
When he tripped on the shoddy old rug.
The flooring gave way

c.e.lawson
10-28-2007, 07:49 AM
He then hit the floor with a thud
When he tripped on the shoddy old rug.
The flooring gave way
And he started to pray

Pthom
10-28-2007, 10:25 AM
He then hit the floor with a thud
When he tripped on the shoddy old rug.
The flooring gave way
And he started to pray
That the cellar might be full of mud.

When they told me the sea's full of salt

Nymtoc
10-28-2007, 10:47 AM
When they told me the sea's full of salt
Instead of hops, beer yeast and malt

;)

John Paton
10-28-2007, 12:14 PM
When they told me the sea's full of salt
Instead of hops, beer yeast and malt
I said I'm not drinking that

rosebud1981
10-28-2007, 04:36 PM
When they told me the sea's full of salt
Instead of hops, beer yeast and malt
I said I'm not drinking that
Cos it won't make me fat

Kerr
10-28-2007, 05:25 PM
When they told me the sea's full of salt
Instead of hops, beer yeast and malt
I said I'm not drinking that
Cos it won't make me fat
Drinking beer is my love--not my fault

I may be an all-key-hole-ick

Nymtoc
10-28-2007, 09:46 PM
I may be an all-key-hole-ick
And booze may be what makes me tick

:e2woo:

Pthom
10-29-2007, 01:08 AM
I may be an all-key-hole-ick
And booze may be what makes me tick
But the combination

c.e.lawson
10-29-2007, 01:50 AM
I might be able to play if I knew what an "all key hole ick" was. Never heard of one.

Pthom
10-29-2007, 02:33 AM
Read it aloud. It will help if you think of Gomer Pyle as you do so. :D

c.e.lawson
10-29-2007, 06:09 AM
Ah! Got it. *embarrassed*

Ok, I'm thinking...

:)

c.e.lawson
10-29-2007, 06:11 AM
I may be an all-key-hole-ick
And booze may be what makes me tick
But the combination
Of my brain and libation

Joycecwilliams
10-29-2007, 08:02 PM
I may be an all-key-hole-ick
And booze may be what makes me tick
But the combination
Of my brain and libation
Is a disease that is making me sick.

Joycecwilliams
10-29-2007, 08:04 PM
The Rockies and Sox were a match.

c.e.lawson
10-29-2007, 08:42 PM
The Rockies and Sox were a match.
Many balls they did have to catch

dobiwon
10-29-2007, 09:10 PM
The Rockies and Sox were a match.
Many balls they did have to catch
Green Wall or Thin Air

Joycecwilliams
10-29-2007, 09:27 PM
In ball as in love, all's fair

Pthom
10-29-2007, 10:09 PM
Joyce: A bit of problem with meter for the 4th line. Allow me an attempt to adjust?

The Rockies and Sox were a match.
Many balls they did have to catch
Green Wall or Thin Air
As in love all is fair
But baseball is not a rose patch.

My solutions don't often make sense

Joycecwilliams
10-29-2007, 10:36 PM
My solutions don't often make sense
At times they may seem on the fence.

c.e.lawson
10-29-2007, 10:39 PM
My solutions don't often make sense
At times they may seem on the fence.
But I try very hard

Nymtoc
10-29-2007, 11:10 PM
My solutions don't often make sense
At times they may seem on the fence.
But I try very hard
Though I'm hardly the Bard

dobiwon
10-30-2007, 12:13 AM
My solutions don't often make sense
At times they may seem on the fence.
But I try very hard
Though I'm hardly the Bard
Although I say 'thee', 'thy', and 'whence'



I don't want to act very crude

Pthom
10-30-2007, 12:35 AM
I don't want to act very crude
And certainly be not a prude

c.e.lawson
10-30-2007, 03:57 AM
I don't want to act very crude
And certainly be not a prude
I have studied Emily Post

Pthom
10-30-2007, 04:19 AM
Sometimes we forget the structure of a limerick. This verse form has very strict rules. (Browsing way back in the early pages of this thread, you can see several discussions on this topic.) But to save you all the trouble, I'll reiterate:

Five lines only.
First, Second and Fifth lines match each other in number of syllables and ending rhyme.
Third and Fourth lines match each other in number of syllables and ending rhyme.
The lines are to follow a specific meter, which is:

1) tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH.
2) tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH.
3) tuh DAH dah dah DAH
4) tuh DAH dah dah DAH
5) tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH dah, tuh DAH.
It is allowed to "double up" a syllable or two, or omit one or two as long as the "beat" is preserved.

So in the current limerick:
I don't want to act very crude
And certainly be not a prude
I have studied Emily Post
The first two lines comply with the "rules" but the third one has too many syllables. A possible fix for that might be:
I've studied E. Postand it isn't a bad one, as it doesn't alter the meaning.

Carry on :)

Nymtoc
10-30-2007, 04:29 AM
I don't want to act very crude
And certainly be not a prude
I've studied E. Post
For I trust her the most

Joycecwilliams
10-30-2007, 05:28 AM
I don't want to act very crude
And certainly be not a prude
I've studied E. Post
For I trust her the most
But I want to see her in the nude.

Joycecwilliams
10-30-2007, 05:30 AM
Here's to the good girls and boys,

Meaney
10-30-2007, 08:41 AM
Here's to the good girls and boys,
the ones who will get all the toys

John Paton
10-30-2007, 09:05 AM
Here's to the good girls and boys,
the ones who'll get all of the toys,
For every smile that they beam

rosebud1981
10-30-2007, 11:46 PM
Here's to the good girls and boys,
the ones who'll get all of the toys,
For every smile that they beam
Let them continue to dream

Woof
10-30-2007, 11:53 PM
Here's to the good girls and boys,
the ones who'll get all of the toys,
For every smile that they beam
Let them continue to dream
And delight in their childhood joys.

Woof
10-30-2007, 11:54 PM
A man who resembled a catfish

rosebud1981
10-31-2007, 12:06 AM
A man who resembled a catfish
Cooked his girlfriend a rat dish

Nymtoc
10-31-2007, 12:11 AM
A man who resembled a catfish
Cooked his girlfriend a rat dish
When she ate it she said

Woof
10-31-2007, 12:24 AM
A man who resembled a catfish
Cooked his girlfriend a rat dish
When she ate it she said
"Are you sure that it's dead?"

Nymtoc
10-31-2007, 12:38 AM
A man who resembled a catfish
Cooked his girlfriend a rat dish
When she ate it she said
"Are you sure that it's dead?"
"No," said he. "Would you rather have bat knish?"

:poke:

A man of the world threw a party

Wraith
10-31-2007, 12:55 AM
A man of the world threw a party
For all that are large-nosed and warty

Joycecwilliams
10-31-2007, 06:20 AM
A man of the world threw a party
For all that are large-nosed and warty
He perfected the brew

Meaney
10-31-2007, 03:44 PM
A man of the world threw a party
For all that are large-nosed and warty
He perfected the brew
with animal glue

Joycecwilliams
10-31-2007, 04:42 PM
A man of the world threw a party
For all that are large-nosed and warty
He perfected the brew
with animal glue
None of them could do a farty.

Wraith
10-31-2007, 06:21 PM
An evil lord once sat and thought

PattiTheWicked
10-31-2007, 06:48 PM
An evil lord once sat and thought
About a pair of pink panties he'd bought

talkwrite
10-31-2007, 07:55 PM
[quote=PattiTheWicked;1773567]
An evil lord once sat and thought
About a pair of pink panties he'd bought
I do love the lace

Nymtoc
10-31-2007, 10:51 PM
An evil lord once sat and thought
About a pair of pink panties he'd bought
I do love the lace
It tickles my face

Pthom
11-01-2007, 04:54 AM
An evil lord once sat and thought
'Bout a pair of pink panties he'd bought
"I do love the lace
It tickles my face
But it in my pants zipper gets caught!"

Deodorant is such a boon

Nymtoc
11-01-2007, 12:18 PM
Deodorant is such a boon
Some ladle it on with a spoon

Pthom
11-01-2007, 12:56 PM
Deodorant is such a boon
Some ladle it on with a spoon
And others, who dare,

Woof
11-01-2007, 05:06 PM
Deodorant is such a boon
Some ladle it on with a spoon
And others, who dare,
Braid their armpit hair

Nymtoc
11-01-2007, 05:16 PM
Deodorant is such a boon
Some ladle it on with a spoon
And others, who dare,
Braid their armpit hair
As happily as a baboon.

:crazy:

There once was a crazy old hag

Woof
11-01-2007, 05:20 PM
There once was a crazy old hag
Who carried her teeth in a bag

dobiwon
11-01-2007, 05:22 PM
There once was a crazy old hag
Who carried her teeth in a bag
Along with her wig

Meaney
11-01-2007, 05:31 PM
There once was a crazy old hag
Who carried her teeth in a bag
Along with her wig
and a prize-winning pig

dobiwon
11-01-2007, 07:25 PM
There once was a crazy old hag
Who carried her teeth in a bag
Along with her wig
and a prize-winning pig
Which gave her a reason to brag.


A reader of tales that are gory

talkwrite
11-01-2007, 07:32 PM
A reader of tales that are gory
Searches for spine tingling stories

Nymtoc
11-01-2007, 10:01 PM
A reader of tales that are gory
Searches for spine tingling stories
Each corpse on the floor

Pthom
11-01-2007, 10:52 PM
A reader of tales that are gory
Searches for spine tingling stories.
Each corpse on the floor,
Each creak of the door,

Woof
11-01-2007, 11:53 PM
A reader of tales that are gory
Searches for spine tingling stories.
Each corpse on the floor,
Each creak of the door,
Leads to a man eating dory.


A writer with hair on his palm

dobiwon
11-01-2007, 11:59 PM
A writer with hair on his palm
Tried to cure it with foul-smelling balm

Woof
11-02-2007, 12:11 AM
A writer with hair on his palm
Tried to cure it with foul-smelling balm
But the smell was so rank

talkwrite
11-02-2007, 12:30 AM
A writer with hair on his palm
Tried to cure it with foul-smelling balm
But the smell was so rank
Was this some sort of prank?

dobiwon
11-02-2007, 12:36 AM
A writer with hair on his palm
Tried to cure it with foul-smelling balm
But the smell was so rank
Was this some sort of prank?
To keep him from going to prom?


A man with suspenders of pink

Woof
11-02-2007, 12:39 AM
A man with suspenders of pink
Decided to skate on a rink

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 01:01 AM
A man with suspenders of pink
Decided to skate on a rink
He didn't suspect

Pthom
11-02-2007, 02:11 AM
A man with suspenders of pink
Decided to skate on a rink
He didn't suspect
that he'd have to collect

Joycecwilliams
11-02-2007, 07:19 AM
A man with suspenders of pink
Decided to skate on a rink
He didn't suspect
that he'd have to collect
money to go see a shrink.

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 07:22 AM
Two sisters from Saginaw, Texas,

:Hug2:

Joycecwilliams
11-02-2007, 07:32 AM
Two sisters from Saginaw, Texas,
decided to murder their ex's

Meaney
11-02-2007, 09:09 AM
Two sisters from Saginaw, Texas,
decided to murder their ex's.
The night of the hit

Pthom
11-02-2007, 10:27 AM
Two sisters from Saginaw, Texas,
decided to murder their ex's.
The night of the hit
They sat for a bit

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 11:20 AM
Two sisters from Saginaw, Texas,
decided to murder their ex's.
The night of the hit
They sat for a bit
Then shot each ex in his solar plexus.

:guns:

There once was a duck that was lame

Pthom
11-02-2007, 12:06 PM
There once was a duck that was lame
Sure thing poetry wasn't its game.

PattiTheWicked
11-02-2007, 04:27 PM
There once was a duck that was lame
Sure thing poetry wasn't its game.
Attempting a sonnet,

rosebud1981
11-02-2007, 05:28 PM
There once was a duck that was lame
Sure thing poetry wasn't its game.
Attempting a sonnet
With a bee in its bonnet

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 05:59 PM
There once was a duck that was lame
Sure thing poetry wasn't its game.
Attempting a sonnet
With a bee in its bonnet
It got stung and quacked out. What a shame!

:(

A spider invited a fly

Meaney
11-02-2007, 07:07 PM
A spider invited a fly
to sit 'neath the cedar bonsai

Wraith
11-02-2007, 07:16 PM
A spider invited a fly
to sit 'neath the cedar bonsai
they whistled a song

PattiTheWicked
11-02-2007, 07:19 PM
A spider invited a fly
to sit 'neath the cedar bonsai
they whistled a song
and pulled out a bong

Joycecwilliams
11-02-2007, 07:26 PM
A spider invited a fly
to sit 'neath the cedar bonsai
they whistled a song
and pulled out a bong
and fly's in the sweet bye and bye.

Joycecwilliams
11-02-2007, 07:26 PM
Tony's a man from New Jersey

talkwrite
11-02-2007, 07:38 PM
Tony's a man from New Jersey
Who will greet you with a curtsy

Woof
11-02-2007, 09:40 PM
Tony's a man from New Jersey
Who will greet you with a curtsy
He'll laugh and he'll flirt

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 10:16 PM
Tony's a man from New Jersey
Who will greet you with a curtsy
He'll laugh and he'll flirt
While dishing the dirt

Woof
11-02-2007, 10:22 PM
Tony's a man from New Jersey
Who will greet you with a curtsy
He'll laugh and he'll flirt
While dishing the dirt
Telling you lies and hearsay.


An ostrich who lived in denial

Nymtoc
11-02-2007, 10:41 PM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Believed he could play the bass viol

talkwrite
11-02-2007, 10:43 PM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Thought flying a matter of style

Wraith
11-03-2007, 12:37 AM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Believed he could play the bass viol
He ripped all the chords

Pthom
11-03-2007, 01:35 AM
both of the "parallel universes" of this limerick are good. Let's finish 'em both. Last one standing gets to begin the next limerick. :D

An ostrich who lived in denial
Believed he could play the bass viol
He ripped all the chords
seeking only rewards


An ostrich who lived in denial
Thought flying a matter of style
With head in the sand

Marisa Louise
11-03-2007, 03:28 AM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Believed he could play the bass viol
He ripped all the chords
seeking only rewards
And now he lives in great style.


An ostrich who lived in denial
Thought flying a matter of style
With head in the sand
The air there was grand

Nymtoc
11-03-2007, 08:47 AM
An ostrich who lived in denial
Thought flying a matter of style
With head in the sand
The air there was grand
But only the worms saw him smile.

:Wha:

There was an old miser named Bill

Joycecwilliams
11-03-2007, 08:52 AM
There was an old miser named Bill
Who never made out a will

choppersmom
11-03-2007, 09:44 AM
There was an old miser named Bill
Who never made out a will
He died intestate

Pthom
11-03-2007, 12:52 PM
There was an old miser named Bill
Who never made out a will
He died intestate
On the old Interstate

Wraith
11-03-2007, 01:28 PM
There was an old miser named Bill
Who never made out a will
He died intestate
On the old Interstate
And haunts his rich nephews still.

A mushroom that grew in a wood

Nymtoc
11-03-2007, 02:07 PM
A mushroom that grew in a wood
Believed it was misunderstood

rosebud1981
11-03-2007, 04:05 PM
A mushroom that grew in a wood
Believed it was misunderstood

It went to see Mister Carrot

PattiTheWicked
11-03-2007, 04:20 PM
A mushroom that grew in a wood
Believed it was misunderstood
It went to see Mister Carrot
But got ate by a ferret

Wraith
11-03-2007, 06:07 PM
A mushroom that grew in a wood
Believed it was misunderstood
It went to see Mister Carrot
But got ate by a ferret
Whose teeth were obnoxiously rude.

Wraith
11-03-2007, 06:07 PM
The ghost hovered over the house

Woof
11-03-2007, 06:43 PM
The ghost hovered over the house
Along with his phantasm spouse

choppersmom
11-03-2007, 08:20 PM
The ghost hovered over the house
Along with his phantasm spouse
They got on "Most Haunted"

onestepp
11-04-2007, 01:33 AM
The ghost hoovered over the house
Along with his phantasm spouse
They got on "Most Wanted"
Their grins were flaunted

Nymtoc
11-04-2007, 02:19 AM
The ghost hovered over the house
Along with his phantasm spouse
They got on "Most Wanted"
Their grins were flaunted
They finally were caught by a mouse.

:D

Poor Scarlett is gone with the wind

Joycecwilliams
11-04-2007, 06:10 AM
Poor Scarlett is gone with the wind
From partaking in too much gin.

choppersmom
11-04-2007, 07:30 AM
Poor Scarlett is gone with the wind
From partaking in too much gin.
She's passed out on the couch

Joycecwilliams
11-04-2007, 06:11 PM
Poor Scarlett is gone with the wind
From partaking in too much gin.
She's passed out on the couch
Her position was slough.

choppersmom
11-04-2007, 07:08 PM
Poor Scarlett is gone with the wind
From partaking in too much gin.
She's passed out on the couch
Her position was slough.
A bit of a pickle she's in!

choppersmom
11-04-2007, 07:08 PM
A little bird sat in a tree

rosebud1981
11-04-2007, 09:22 PM
A little bird sat in a tree
And a spider crawled up her knee

talkwrite
11-05-2007, 08:23 PM
A little bird sat in a tree
And a spider crawled up her knee
"I promise you glory
If you tell me a story"

Woof
11-05-2007, 08:40 PM
A little bird sat in a tree
And a spider crawled up her knee
"I promise you glory
If you tell me a story"
"How 'bout my sordid affair with a bee?"


An earthworm who wanted to fly

talkwrite
11-05-2007, 08:47 PM
An earthworm who wanted to fly
Wrote NASA asking how to apply

Woof
11-05-2007, 08:54 PM
An earthworm who wanted to fly
Wrote NASA asking how to apply
The rules for worms were clear

talkwrite
11-06-2007, 12:01 AM
An earthworm who wanted to fly
Wrote NASA asking how to apply
The rules for worms were clear
Don't fall in love with peers

Wraith
11-06-2007, 12:12 AM
An earthworm who wanted to fly
Wrote NASA asking how to apply
The rules for worms were clear
Don't fall in love with peers
And don't fly too high in the sky. :tongue

A wizard once came to town

PattiTheWicked
11-06-2007, 12:35 AM
A wizard once came to town
with a beard that dangled far down

Pthom
11-06-2007, 01:00 AM
A wizard once came to town
With a beard that dangled far down.
His knees, they were knobby

Wraith
11-06-2007, 01:47 AM
A wizard once came to town
With a beard that dangled far down.
His knees, they were knobby
And he was all wobbly

choppersmom
11-06-2007, 03:15 AM
A wizard once came to town
With a beard that dangled far down.
His knees, they were knobby
And he was all wobbly
But he looked fabulous in a gown.

A guy in a sharkskin suit

talkwrite
11-06-2007, 03:17 AM
A guy in a sharkskin suit
Was looking to stash his loot

choppersmom
11-06-2007, 07:26 AM
A guy in a sharkskin suit
Was looking to stash his loot
He looked everywhere

Pthom
11-06-2007, 10:28 AM
A guy in a sharkskin suit
Was looking to stash his loot
He looked everywhere
Except in his hair

Woof
11-06-2007, 06:04 PM
A guy in a sharkskin suit
Was looking to stash his loot
He looked everywhere
Except in his hair
Because there was lurking a coot.


A woman without any clothes

talkwrite
11-06-2007, 06:32 PM
A woman without any clothes
Was being paid well just to pose

choppersmom
11-06-2007, 09:03 PM
A woman without any clothes
Was being paid well just to pose
She wasn't ashamed

Woof
11-06-2007, 09:56 PM
A woman without any clothes
Was being paid well just to pose
She wasn't ashamed
When gentlemen aimed

Pthom
11-06-2007, 10:09 PM
A woman without any clothes
Was being paid well just to pose
She wasn't ashamed
When gentlemen aimed
Their cameras at her, I suppose.

Regarding the whims of a cat:

Woof
11-06-2007, 10:14 PM
Regarding the whims of a cat:
He dreams of chasing a rat

talkwrite
11-07-2007, 01:36 AM
Regarding the whims of a cat:
He dreams of chasing a rat
Well not chasing, per say
Just delivery-same day

Woof
11-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Regarding the whims of a cat:
He dreams of chasing a rat
Well not chasing, per say
Just delivery-same day
Of ratatouille, low-fat


There once was a tree with an itch

talkwrite
11-07-2007, 09:36 PM
There once was a tree with an itch
So lonely, it wished to be hitched

Woof
11-08-2007, 12:18 AM
There once was a tree with an itch
So lonely, it wished to be hitched
One day up its trunk

talkwrite
11-08-2007, 01:26 AM
There once was a tree with an itch
So lonely, it wished to be hitched
One day up its trunk
Climbed a heartsick hunk

rosebud1981
11-08-2007, 03:46 PM
There once was a tree with an itch
So lonely, it wished to be hitched
One day up its trunk
Climbed a heartsick hunk
And now with love they are rich.


A lovely young lady from Russia

threedogpeople
11-08-2007, 06:20 PM
A lovely young lady from Russia,
whose first name sounded like Kasha,

Woof
11-08-2007, 07:25 PM
A lovely young lady from Russia,
whose first name sounded like Kasha
Was an heir to the Tsar

Pthom
11-08-2007, 10:11 PM
A lovely young lady from Russia,
whose first name sounded like Kasha
Was an heir to the Tsar
Hid in old Kandahar

Woof
11-08-2007, 10:50 PM
A lovely young lady from Russia,
whose first name sounded like Kasha
Was an heir to the Tsar
Hid in old Kandahar
And ended up Empress of Prussia


A pirate who ran out of rum