Limericks Live!

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reph

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I left on a two-week vacation
to a faraway, warm destination
Where no one could phone me
and tell me bologna
And give me a day's aggravation.

The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
 

Sara Rachael Hope

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I left on a two-week vacation
to a faraway, warm destination
Where no one could phone me
and tell me bologna
And give me a day's aggravation.

The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"
and the kiwi said:
 
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poetinahat

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Sara Rachael Hope said:
The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u (i mean me!) to help see me!"
and the kiwi said:

Okay, I'll be the pedant for the day!

Sara, a couple of things:
- one line at a time, please, so the next person gets a turn.
- line #2 has too many syllables. Would you mind taking out the parenthetical phrase?

That would leave us with:

The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"

Thanks!
 

Sara Rachael Hope

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The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"
When the kiwi replied, she finally sighed
and laid down in her own featherbed!
The kiwi did this for the ostrich
(as she dreamed and continually 'watched it')
 

reph

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Excuse me, Sara, you seem to be working on a different kind of poem. A limerick has exactly five lines, and the rhythm goes like this:

da DA da da DA da da DA (da)
da DA da da DA da da DA (da)
(da) da DA da da DA (da)
(da) da DA da da DA (da)
da DA da da DA da da DA (da).

The das in parentheses are optional syllables.

In this game, each person adds only one line at a time. That's how we take turns.
 

Honey Nut Loop

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Um i'm jsut gonna take this from where reph left off.
(btw i'm still struggling to make sense of the line '"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"':faint:


The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"
When the kiwi replied,
"Well they eat me worldwide!"
 

reph

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The ostrich said this to the kiwi:
"I'm glad I got u to help see me!"
When the kiwi replied,
"Well they eat me worldwide!"
An eavesdropping buzzard squawked, "Dreamy!"

(Incidentally, in case it wasn't clear, I meant a kiwi bird, not a kiwi fruit. Speaking of fruit...)

There's no substitute for bananas
 

Pthom

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There's no substitute for bananas
But their leaves aren't that good for bandanas
 

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There's no substitute for bananas
But their leaves aren't that good for bandanas.
For that you need cotton
 

Pat~

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There's no substitute for bananas
But their leaves aren't that good for bandanas.
For that you need cotton
Though it may be hard-gotten
 

reph

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There's no substitute for bananas
But their leaves aren't that good for bandanas.
For that you need cotton
Though it may be hard-gotten
Whether homespun, bought retail, or Grandma's.

"How long do I have?" said a patient.
 

Solatium

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"How long do I have?" said a patient.
"I must have an abortifacient,


(Sorry, I racked my brains and that was the only rhyme I could come up with.)
 

Sara Rachael Hope

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Solatium said:
"How long do I have?" said a patient.
"I must have an abortifacient,


(Sorry, I racked my brains and that was the only rhyme I could come up with.)
abortivacationt (may be better!) Vacation anyone?
WOULD BE NICE!!!!!!!
 

reph

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"Patient" is an even harder rhyme than I thought. The rhyming dictionary at poetry.com gives only "impatient" and "abortifacient," which gets into territory that's definitely not your typical lighthearted limerick material. I'll start over.

My first draft is here for critiquing
 

Pat~

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My first draft is here for critiquing,
I pray it does not end up reeking;
Though I need your advice
 

Honey Nut Loop

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My first draft is here for critiquing,
I pray it does not end up reeking;
Though I need your advice,
It doesn't have to be nice,
 

Solatium

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There was an old saxophone lady
Who insisted her name wasn't Sadie
She called herself Nora
 

Pat~

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There was an old saxophone lady
Who insisted her name wasn't Sadie
She called herself Nora
With surname Tedora
 

Sara Rachael Hope

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There was an old saxophone lady
Who insisted her name wasn't Sadie
She called herself Nora
With surname Tedora
And hoped that she kindly won't bore ya'!
 

Solatium

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There was an old saxophone lady
Who insisted her name wasn't Sadie
She called herself Nora
With surname Tedora
And hoped that she kindly won't bore ya'!
(One line too many? Don't be afraid, eh?)

I can't get the hang of this system
 
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